Chapter Ten
"I told you. If you're happy, then I'm happy. If you didn't feel any sort of….burning desire to get the job, then there's no harm in letting Octavia get it."
Jackson speaks the words to Miller one afternoon as the men lounge around inside their room. Oftentimes if neither is on duty, they spend the late afternoon in bed together. Most of Skaikru counts down the hours until one of the two daily mealtimes, and Jackson and Miller are no different. Afternoons can feel long as people wait for 1700 hours to roll around, but Jackson knows that he's lucky to have Miller to enjoy his free time with.
"I just didn't," Miller says. "Didn't have any 'burning desire' to get the job." He raises his eyebrows and grins, "You know what my 'burning desire' is for."
Miller puts a hand on Jackson's thigh, and Jackson replies, "Oh, I know." Jackson smiles and looks at Miller, seriously now, "I just hope your reason wasn't…because you wanted to keep the peace with Octavia. And by extension with Bellamy. Did you…not go for it because you didn't want to hurt your friendships with them?"
Jackson tries to keep his voice soft as he asks Miller the question. They've discussed the subject of whether or not Miller would go for the promotion before, of course, and he's tried to always make it clear that he would support whatever decision Miller made. But this particular question has been nagging at him, especially since Miller officially decided to put his support behind Octavia. Jackson knows he needs to at least get the question out in the open.
"I don't know," Miller replies. He's looking downwards, flicking at something on his pants leg though Jackson doesn't see anything there. He shrugs. "I guess it was part of the decision. Is that wrong of me?"
"No, no, not at all. I meant when I said that I'd support you in whatever you decided," Jackson insists, leaning towards him, "I just wondered how much that was part of it. I-I don't think it's wrong to…to value friendships so much. Hell, maybe it's better to put friendships above a promotion; I don't know."
Miller continues looking down. "Octavia really wanted the job. I just didn't want it that much. I guess that's all there is to it."
"Okay," Jackson says. There's warmth in his voice and he's ready to put the matter to bed now.
"I told her," Miller begins, "that maybe someday I could be her second in command. I guess I was happy to leave that there."
Niylah and Octavia are celebrating Octavia's promotion inside their room. Octavia has to admit that it feels good to have her potential recognized and to have gotten what she wanted. No, she'll never feel for Skaikru what she used to feel for Trikru and she will likely mourn the extinction of their culture her entire life.
"But you can honor them – honor us - ," Niylah is saying, "by continuing to do what you've been doing with the cadets. Teach them what Indra and Lincoln taught you. Continue training them to fight as well as Trikru."
"Yes," Octavia says. Her voice is pensive but she also has the faintest hint of a smirk too. "Maybe I can also honor Trikru by doing this."
With that, she gently flips Niylah onto her back and smothers her with more kisses. As good as the promotion feels to Octavia, this feels hundreds of times better. And she now sees the excitement and the pleasure in being the one to take more of the lead in bed. She loosens Niylah's garment and begins blazing a trail of kisses from Niylah's lips down to her breasts.
Afterwards, they talk again. Octavia has no doubt that Niylah needs out of this room soon. Although it fills her with worry, they map out a plan.
The next morning, the Council sits down to their usual meeting after breakfast. No sooner is the door closed than they hear a knock upon it.
Bellamy looks quizzically from Clarke to Kane. The chancellor calls out, "Come in." And then a second later, Bellamy sees his sister step through the door.
"I have a question I need to take to the Council," Octavia begins. "Do you have time today….or another time…?"
Kane answers, though Bellamy knows what he will say – and Bellamy also knows that Octavia knows full well the answer too, given that she spends almost every meal sitting with the Council. Bellamy is just a bit confused. Octavia hasn't said anything to him about coming to a Council meeting, and he wishes he wasn't blindsided. He tells himself to take a breath. Since Octavia first set foot on the ground, she has been this untamable force of nature. He's kind of glad to see that her free spirit isn't broken, though he still wishes she'd given him a heads-up on whatever this is about.
"We have plenty of time, Octavia," Kane says, gesturing for her to take a seat. "We don't have anything urgent today. What's on your mind?"
"I have a hypothetical situation," Octavia begins, settling into one of the seats.
Bellamy's heart leaps just a glances at Clarke and can practically see the machinery inside her brain moving, getting all the arguments and reasons together.
"What would be the punishment if someone was hiding another person inside the Ark? I didn't see it in the document you published after Cooper was sentenced."
Several looks are exchanged around the table. Bellamy tries to read all of their expressions. Last time he and Clarke spoke about this, Clarke said she didn't think that Abby and Kane were aware of the situation, but that she wasn't fully sure.
"Well, that's quite an interesting question," Abby begins. "This is truly just a hypothetical situation?"
"Yes," Octavia answers.
Bellamy glances at Clarke again. If she's upset at Octavia for not giving them a heads-up, she doesn't show it. "It is an interesting question," Clarke says. "I imagine that it violates a rule – maybe the one about hiding information, but….well, we know that we're doing well enough to support all 99 people here and to allow several babies to be born over the next few years. So it certainly doesn't seem to be anywhere near on the level of what Cooper did."
Kane is not, Bellamy thinks, hiding the fact that he is a bit perplexed. So he doesn't know, Bellamy realizes. And he's struggling just a bit.
"We accounted for everyone inside the stockade," Kane says. "And it would be extremely difficult to smuggle food and water to someone given how tightly we lock down the kitchen. There's no harm in entertaining a hypothetical situation, but I don't see the point of doing so. Unless…" he lets his voice trail off.
Octavia does not appear shaken. "Just want to hear what the rules are anyway," she says, keeping her expression neutral.
"Okay," Abby says, looking from Kane to Octavia. "Well, I will take a stab at answering the question. We definitely would not use capital punishment; we didn't use it for attempted murder, so we're certainly not going to use it now. The situation you described is a violation of a rule, so I believe there would need to be some type of punishment. But I'm not sure what. A prison sentence seems too severe."
"I agree," Raven says. She takes a breath and shakes her head. "We were all desperate and…half-crazed right before Praimfaya. You remember Jackson threatening to kill himself if we didn't save Miller? So if someone did decide to hide another person and was successful for all this time…well, I don't see the point in any sort of harsh punishment when the human race is down to 99 people. I would find some sort of mild punishment. Maybe put the person on probation or give them extra work shifts."
"I agree," Clarke says firmly. "The brig seems way too severe." She shrugs. "I could get behind probation and additional work shifts."
"Same," Bellamy says. He's avoiding Kane's eyes but otherwise hoping that his expression and mannerisms are steady. "A token punishment but nothing severe. And, of course, the person who they were hiding would be allowed to…well, to join the rest of our population."
Abby speaks up. "Yes. I agree with what the three of you have said."
"Thank you," Octavia says, and here Bellamy worries that she's tipping her hand. She's looking a bit too eager to leave now, as if she's ready to bolt from her seat. Her eyes are giving it away too, a certain sort of desperate shadow that has come over them.
Kane takes a breath. "Wait," he says.
Bellamy feels that he's really gotten to know Kane well over the past year. He can tell just from the look in his eyes that Kane has figured it out. He can also guess that Kane is kicking himself for not adding it up sooner: Octavia's weight-loss, her preference for eating or finishing most meals inside her room, her love for the grounder culture.
"Just answer me," Kane says, leaning forward and looking intently at Octavia. His voice is a strange combination of soft and firm. "This isn't purely hypothetical, is it? You're hiding someone. A grounder then, since we know all of Skaikru was accounted for."
Bellamy's breath escapes him. Is Octavia going to answer now? Is there any reason to continue the charade when it seems that Octavia and Niylah are guaranteed a light punishment, if any?
Bellamy feels Octavia's eyes on his. Is she waiting for a signal from him? No, Bellamy decides. That's not like her – and besides, it might be better if Kane doesn't know that Bellamy has been in on this the whole time.
"Yes," Octavia says. "I'm hiding the grounder Niylah inside my room."
Abby gasps, clearly not hiding her surprise. Bellamy watches Kane raise his eyebrows in Abby's direction. "So you didn't know?" he asks her.
"No," she replies firmly. "As I assume you didn't until now." Abby then looks around the table. "I'm not sure about the rest of you."
"Abby," Octavia begins. "When Kane and Jackson and Jaha were sick, Niylah wanted to come out and help." Her voice is passionate and just a breath away from pleading. "I had to practically restrain her to keep her from doing so. She wants to be a part of this group. She's a natural healer. She could do a lot of good in med bay. And – well - as you've all said, the human race is down to 99 people. We could easily take on one more. And especially one with medical training."
"I'm more concerned with the fact that the two of you have been sharing rations," Abby says. "I noticed your weight loss but kept telling myself it was due to stress and to you over-training." She pauses. "Part of our plan was the save the human race and weight our population towards young women - it's time for you to stop sharing your food."
"And for Niylah to get her own rations?" Octavia asks.
"Yes. We certainly have enough given Jaha's death and Cooper being on half rations." Abby pauses and looks around the room. Seeming to settle on Kane, she adds, "The fact that Niylah is here and is alive is a good thing. Genetic diversity…."
Kane nods, returning Abby's gaze. "A healthy young woman. A potential mother someday, if she wishes it. We'll need all the help we can get in that area if the human race is to continue."
The group goes on to discuss what to do next. As they talk, Bellamy looks at Kane. The Council has been good about making decisions as a group. When it came to Kara Cooper, that's how they handled it – discussion and eventually consensus. Bellamy imagines Kane isn't happy about the deception but Bellamy is thankful that they are dealing with this Kane and not the hardliner who he used to be.
Niylah is sitting inside the hole, the place where she spends her days when Octavia is not here. Octavia told her the plan before she left for breakfast.
How long does it take for them to answer a hypothetical question?
Oh but wait. Octavia has told me that justice on the Ark when it was in space might have been swift and brutal, but now – with few people and long days – they love to talk. It might take them all day to discuss it.
Still, Niylah finds that waiting isn't exactly easy. Her mind is fairly well-trained and calm. She knows that if she wants to, she can try to imagine every worst-case scenario and play it out, but that it would be an exercise in futility. She could worry about the notion of spending the rest of her life with Octavia in a cell next to Cooper's on half-rations - well, that would be tolerable since she's already on half-rations and already inside a cell. But if they were to separate Octavia from her….Niylah can't bear to continue that line of thought. She cuts it off every time it creeps up. She reminds herself that Octavia's own brother is on the Council and that Octavia is second in command of the guard. And hell – Octavia is Indra's second. Indra may be dead and gone, but Octavia is not going to allow Niylah to wither away inside a cell, even if that means Octavia would have to take drastic action.
At last, the door to Octavia's room opens. And instantly, Niylah knows that Octavia is not alone. Several footsteps are right behind hers. Niylah braces herself mentally – and notes that physically too she is poised to defend herself or flee even though there is nowhere to run to. The floorboard is removed and Octavia's head pops up.
"Come on out," Octavia says straightforwardly. "You're free."
Niylah grabs Octavia's hand and scrambles up, out of the hole. She hugs Octavia tightly. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees the Council members standing in the doorway and hallway. She sees Clarke among them, and Clarke does not look distressed. Niylah continues to hug Octavia. She tries to guess from the hug how Octavia is doing, but she isn't quite able to read her well enough yet. Niylah believes that Octavia's body doesn't feel overly tense though.
"There will," Kane begins, his tone reflecting his serious chancellor role, "be some repercussions."
Not every member of Skaikru has a radio. But enough key personnel have them so that news can be spread rapidly when needed. There is to be a meeting in one hour inside the large conference room.
Miller does his duty in spreading the news about the meeting; it's an easy task for him since he's in the middle of his shift, making his rounds as he walks the corridors. He sees excitement on faces as he helps share the news. Most days here are dull enough that a badly-acted play put on by the drama group draws rapt attention, and even Miller's stories typed out on the old tablet Raven scrounged up for him garner a sizeable audience. So most everyone is eager to hear what the meeting is about.
Miller does take a second to radio Octavia to ask if she knows anything about this. At first he attributes her reply to nothing more than the detachment created by communication that is not conducted face-to-face. She is terse, saying only, "I've heard it's nothing bad, nothing to worry about." She doesn't elaborate from there.
And so Miller is as surprised as most of the rest of Skaikru when Kane shares the news. Octavia Blake has been hiding a grounder "who many of you have met before – Niylah." Kane goes on to say that Niylah will be allowed to live out in the open, among "the other 99 surviving members of humanity. There are so few of us left that although we're not happy about the fact that rules were broken, we see no reason to punish Niylah." He goes on to add that there will be consequences for Octavia's rule-breaking. He says that the Council has decided to strip Octavia of her promotion and assign her additional janitorial shifts for the next 12 months. "Anything beyond that," Kane says, "would be too harsh considering the circumstances."
Kane ends by asking if anyone has any questions. No one does, and Miller is not surprised by that. Fleetingly, he muses that the people who were chosen as survivors are, by and large, people who follow the rules, people who are docile. There were exceptions like Cooper – because she had special skills – but the loud-mouths like Ethan Hardy's father simply didn't make the cut. So no one voices any anger and everyone seems to accept this as fair. Octavia and Niylah enter the conference room through a side door, and as far as Miller can tell, people seem more curious than anything. Having a new person to socialize with could break some of the monotony of their days.
But Miller doesn't really care about any of that.
He is furious.
Because he eyes the Council members standing near Kane and he just instinctively understands that Bellamy, Clarke, and Raven all knew Octavia's secret. They all have probably known it for a while.
I guess I don't matter enough to be part of their inner circle.
With the meeting officially adjourned and lots of quiet conversations starting up as people filter back to their duties, Jackson turns to Miller. "This is good news," Jackson says. "I always liked Niylah and she was training to be a nurse, so…" he breaks off. "Nate? Are you okay?"
"I need to get some air, Jacks," Miller sighs. He stands up. "Gonna head for the gym."
"Wait," Jackson gently urges, placing a hand on Miller's arm.
Miller stops, looks his lover in the eyes, and places a hand on his shoulder. It's hard to step away from Jackson's pleading eyes but Miller is too angry right now and doesn't want to make a scene. "I just gotta blow off some steam right now," Miller says quietly.
"I understand," Jackson says, meeting Miller's eyes. "I understand that you're feeling left out – I…just don't do or say anything that you'll regret," he urges.
"I won't."
As Miller and Jackson have their exchange, Bellamy has started to make his way to Miller. Miller glimpses Bellamy out of the corner of his eye and rapidly exits the meeting room. And then Major Costa approaches Bellamy and the rest of the Council with a question, and Bellamy isn't able to go after Miller.
For nearly seven months, Niylah has neither seen nor spoken with anyone other than Octavia. So she is just a bit overwhelmed at first. At the Council's order, Octavia is taking Niylah around the Ark, showing her the ins and outs of the cleaning and food prep shifts she will be picking up. She lived inside the Ark for months before Praimfaya but has never before been inside the kitchen. The work shifts are not a problem for her; Niylah is not afraid of hard work and has always picked up new things easily and quickly.
As Octavia takes Niylah around, the members of Skaikru who they encounter are friendly and curious. Niylah and Octavia had anticipated this – that if Niylah were someday allowed outside, people would be eager to speak with someone new after having lived, worked, and dined with the same 98 people for months on end.
And although Niylah certainly has passionate feelings for the one person she's spent her last seven months with, she is also eager to have conversations with others. She is more than ready to resume her training as a nurse, so as soon as her "tour" is over, Niylah happily agrees to spend the rest of the day in med bay with Abby and Jackson. Both of them are clearly delighted to have her back.
As soon as Octavia deposits Niylah in med bay, she goes to find her brother. They have a mission, and they've been waiting until both of them are free to embark upon it.
"He's in the library," Bellamy says.
"Let's go, brother."
Octavia and Bellamy find Miller sitting in a corner, holding a book to his face. The library is quiet; the Blakes see only one other person as they make their way through the stacks and the chairs.
When Miller sees them, he sighs and puts the book back up in front of his face.
"Hey," Bellamy begins softly. "We know you're upset."
"We get it. You have every right to be," Octavia adds. She and Bellamy each grab a chair and seat themselves not too close to Miller but not far.
"I swear we didn't mean to exclude you," Bellamy says, voice firm now.
"It's just that we had to be really careful with this and not let too many people know." Octavia looks at Bellamy and adds, "I never even officially told my own brother until this morning."
"But – we are sorry that you are feeling excluded."
Miller lowers the book and rolls his eyes. "Did you rehearse? I can't remember the last time I heard you two so…well-aligned."
With that, the trio laughs. And to Octavia, it quickly becomes apparent that Miller is not going to hold a grudge. She guesses that he wanted to hear the apology more than anything, and that everything from the way his mouth appears to be suppressing a grin to the slight spark in his eyes suggests he will be fine.
"But okay," Miller goes on. "I guess I understand why you couldn't tell me." He twists his lips to the side. "But I swear Raven knew. And Clarke."
"We still consider you one of our best friends and don't ever forget it," Octavia says decisively. "And," she adds, firmly nodding at Miller, "now that I've been stripped of my rank that means it's time for you to go for it. Tell Costa you want the job."
For just a second, Octavia sees a flash of confusion across Miller's face, and she has to hand it to him. He truly was so upset at the thought of the Blakes leaving him out that the promotion perhaps wasn't even on his radar.
"Uh – you sure?" Miller asks.
"You're perfect for the role," Bellamy says. "The Council will all support it."
"And I do too," Octavia adds.
"So don't wait. You want Costa to see you as a go-getter. Talk to him today."
Miller puts the book aside. "I'll go find him right now." He pauses and adds, "Thank you."
Dinnertime is good. Niylah, for the first time in a long time, gets a full ration. And more than that, she's happy to see Octavia with a full ration too. They both eat slowly, partially due to being unused to so much food and partially because others keep approaching their table to talk. Niylah smiles and is happy to chat with anyone. During the past seven months, Octavia has given her the rundown of every member of Skaikru – and of course some of them she's met previously anyway. She's enjoying matching up what Octavia has said about each person with the reality.
"It's good to have you back in med bay," Jackson says. "I really enjoy training someone."
"As do I," Abby says, looking fondly at Jackson.
"Do you not…have other trainees?" Niylah asks. She takes another bite of her meal.
Abby goes onto explain that each of the young people here was required to apprentice in one crucial area (engineering, farming, etc). They did at one point work with two people who were strong in math and science.
"But neither is made of the right stuff," Abby says flatly. "Being a medical professional requires a lot more than command of math and science. You have to have empathy and passion and a good bedside manner."
"Which you do have," Jackson says to Niylah, not hiding the fact that he truly is delighted to have her as part of the medical team.
"Thank you," Niylah says. They go on to finish eating, and then later the daily movie begins. Niylah knows what's going to happen in the film thanks to Octavia's recaps, but it's good to get to see it for the first time with her own eyes. During the less exciting parts, her mind wanders. She's pretty good at reading people. When Jackson and Abby were praising her, Niylah saw Octavia looking just a bit proud. Niylah also saw Clarke and Bellamy exchange a look. The two women haven't told anyone of their relationship yet but she can't help but to wonder if Clarke and Bellamy might suspect that she and Octavia are a couple.
Finally, after the movie, Niylah and Octavia are alone again inside their room.
"I am sorry," Niylah begins. "That you lost your rank. And that you have to pick up extra cleaning shifts."
Octavia shakes her head and pushes the thought away with a hand gesture. "I don't care. It's a slap on the wrist. And," she says, speaking in Trig, "I'm Trikru, not Skaikru so I really shouldn't be running their guard anyway."
"True," Niylah answers, also in Trig now. "But without Skaikru we'd be dead. And Trikru…." She lets her voice trail off.
"I know," Octavia says, looking downwards. She takes a breath. "It's up to us to keep it alive."
"I don't know how you did this for 16 years," Niylah says, smiling and rolling her shoulders back. She has switched back to English now. "I'm happy to be free. Happy to be able to move around, and to have a purpose working in med bay. During that dancing scene in the movie, I almost wanted to get up and dance!"
Octavia smiles and shakes her head. "Cleaning the kitchen and the sewage tanks is worth it….just to see that look on your face."
After a bit Niylah replies, with a tilt of the head, "Oh, you say that now….but I worry how you might feel two weeks from now."
"Don't worry about that. Let's celebrate. Our usual way," Octavia adds, with a slight raise of her eyebrows. She reaches for Niylah, and Niylah eagerly returns the kiss. She feels light and free, and her heart is racing in the best way.
News and information travel very fast on the Ark. Darah Wyant is half of one of the couples which had their birth control implants removed. For two mornings in a row, an audible rumble has spread through the mess hall as Darah visibly experiences nausea. After the second instance, Abby asked her to come to med bay so they could run a test. Perhaps minutes or – at most – hours after Darah left med bay, the word was out to all 100 inhabitants of the Ark.
They have their first pregnant woman.
If all goes well, the first baby will be born in this post-Praimfaya world to Darah and her boyfriend Ben.
Clarke and Bellamy are inside their room that afternoon. It has become their habit on most days - with Council-business and school done for the day, now they sit together. Clarke usually draws and Bellamy usually reads, although sometimes they play chess instead. And of course they often get to baby-making too, though for whatever reason they tend to save that for right before lights-out.
"Miller's latest story isn't half bad," Bellamy says, holding his tablet. "He knows how to write a page-turner, anyway. Maybe I will try to write my own."
"You should," Clarke insists. She's sitting on the floor, drawing on the wall. She does often have paper or a tablet she can work off of, but as long as Bellamy doesn't object, she'll continue to use the walls too. "The writers of Greek mythology don't know what's going to hit them!"
Bellamy looks over at her. Clarke's last comment sounded just a bit forced. He cranes his head to look at her new drawing. A mother holding a baby. This is the first time he's seen her draw that.
"Are you ok?" he asks softly.
Clarke smiles and sets her chalk down. "I'm jealous. I can't believe it. I'm jealous of Darah." She rubs her eyes.
"I thought you seemed just a bit off today," Bellamy says. He sets his tablet aside and moves from the bed to join her on the floor.
"It's stupid," Clarke says, shaking her head. "Really stupid of me."
"What, that you're jealous?" Bellamy asks. "That you're having a normal, human reaction?" He rests a hand on her knee.
"I should know better."
"You mean you should let your head rule your heart," Bellamy says gently. "It's okay if sometimes that doesn't happen.
Bellamy is surprised when Clarke shifts her position, moving closer to him and turning a bit, so she can rest her back against his chest. He puts his arms around her and she relaxes against him.
"But is it okay?" Clarke asks. "Shouldn't my heart realize what my head knows? That this is something that can take some time, something we don't have a lot of control over, and that getting wound up in jealousy isn't going to make me feel any better."
"Well, sometimes the head and the heart are in different places," Bellamy says with a slight chuckle. "And they need time to get aligned."
Clarke takes a breath. "Time," she repeats. "I need to allow some time to get my brain and my heart in the same place. And our bodies need time to make a baby. I want to hurry up and…help replenish the human race, but it doesn't work that way."
Bellamy nods. "And hearing that Darah is expecting is just reminding you – reminding us – how little control over this we have."
"Yeah." Clarke smiles though Bellamy can't see it from the way they are sitting. He does feel her relax a bit. "This is small compared to everything else we've lived through." She shrugs, "So I'm jealous. It's okay. Jealousy won't kill me."
"Right."
Clarke turns around to look at Bellamy. "Should one of us make a cheesy joke now? About how all we can do is…try again?"
Clarke's voice is almost flirty and her eyes seem to sparkle a bit, and Bellamy can't help but to smile. "Was hoping you'd do it first. The bed's right there."
Not long later, Clarke looks to be in a much better mood and Bellamy is in paradise. Cuddled up with Clarke, under the blankets, having heard her moans and other sounds making it clear that she was enjoying every moment of it. Feeling her lips against his.
"Nice," Clarke murmurs. Bellamy is on his back, and Clarke on her side. Her head rests in the vicinity of his shoulder and chest, and one of her arms is draped over him. Their legs are entwined.
"Really nice," Bellamy agrees. Like Clarke, he is sweaty and pleasantly exhausted.
"You always have this way of making me feel much better. I – I don't mean just the sex," Clarke adds quickly. "I mean everything. The words you say. Just even…the way you listen and the way you touch."
He picks up one of her hands and kisses it. "This is…the happiest I've been in my entire life," he tells her.
"I didn't think we deserved it. Didn't think I deserved it," Clarke clarifies. "Not with all the things I've done wrong."
Bellamy opens his mouth to protest, but Clarke continues. "But maybe I do. We do. Deserve some happiness." Clarke moves her head up, no longer resting it atop his chest. Her free hand roams over his chest.
"I love you, Bellamy."
He takes a few moments to just hear the three words and digest them. He wants to savor them as long as he can. And part of his brain gently digs at him, reminding him that he doesn't need to rush to respond because she surely knows how he feels.
"I used to think that love is weakness," Clarke continues. "But your love gives me strength. I'm stronger for it."
"Me too," Bellamy says, his voice deeper and throatier than usual. "I love you so much. I take so much strength from you."
Clarke takes a breath. "I also wanted to apologize to you, Bellamy."
For just a second, his blood runs cold. His eyes search hers. "Apologize? For what?"
"For the day before Praimfaya. I told you we couldn't be together, that I couldn't let myself feel." She shakes her head. "I was an idiot. And yet you love me anyway."
"Why not? You love me despite all of my flaws," he insists.
"What flaws?" Clarke laughs.
"Do you want a list?" Bellamy teases.
"No," she responds seriously. With no shortage of fervor in her voice she says, "I want you to know how wonderful and strong and brilliant and loving you are. You know I get a bit weak in the knees in every Council meeting when you show how smart you are."
Bellamy tilts his head back into the pillow laughing, "Clarke, stop! Unless you're confusing me with Raven."
She laughs along with him. "Nah. You're a lot cuter than Raven." She touches a finger to the tip of his nose.
His eyes widen at her playfulness. "'Cuter'?" he echoes. "'Cuter'?"
"Cuter," she says, with a firm nod and more laughter.
TBC
Octavia gets the fastest promotion and demotion in history, Bellarke reach a milestone, Miller feels left out but is comforted by the Blakes. Please tell me what you think!