April 12th (2 months)*

Jake's POV

I stepped out onto the porch, the click of the door behind me and I could hear Ness walking back into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, dad." The sound of her voice clear as if I was still standing next to her while she said it.

I couldn't count how many times Ness had said that in the hour and a half he'd been there, but I knew I couldn't bear to hear it again. Not for the first time I wished I didn't have the 'gift' of being a wolf.

I didn't wanna hear any of what came next, not that I was worried, but I knew it wasn't for my ears and wanted to give them that much. I was relieved I didn't have a bullet in me, and reeling over how my day had taken a turn.

I let my feet carry me down the porch and into the woods across the street, my hands beginning to tremble. Waking up this morning I thought my worst problem was watching my hopes and dreams swirl down the toilet that was being a spirit wolf.

Every time I thought about it I could feel the pit in my stomach grow, like a ball picking up lint as it rolls. But even though I couldn't really speak to Ness she had helped. I could see her stubborn face in my mind determined to follow her dreams and she would strike down anyone in her way. If I let myself, I could almost believe she could drag me along behind her.

She was gonna make a great mom.

And I was gonna be a dad. I was gonna be a dad.

I walked and walked until I came across a fallen log, and then I sat.

I could see Ness as a mom. She'd be a force to be reckoned with. Protective, caring, understanding and funny as hell. A helping hand and a shoulder to lean on without taking any shit.

I wasn't sure if I could be a dad like that. I knew I wanted to be, but that was meant to be years down the line… and with someone else.

Bella's face appeared next to her sister's, stopping my thoughts in their tracks. This had all gotten so messed up. My hands trembled harder and I shoved them into my hair in an attempt to still them in some way.

I loved Bella, and I'd wanted her to see me fully. Not as her sister's best friend and the boy who used to chase her around when we were kids. Even after she'd run off for that bloodsucker I still didn't lose hope.

But now? Would she be able to see past this? Because there was no turning back from this. Did I want to? Maybe. And could I really be that cruel to Ness. We never pretended to be more than what we were, but to pursue Bella while she had and raised my kid.

A dad. I pulled at the hair between my fingers, a whine caught in my throat.

Billy was the best man I knew, and the best father me and my sisters could have asked for. He wasn't perfect but he did his best to fill the void left by our mother and raised us to be smart, kind, hardworking… responsible.

I needed to be responsible for my actions, and the results of those actions. For Ness.

But how could I do that? The child I'd helped make would be my future, but my future had become so uncertain and I had no idea how to connect the two. Babies cost money and time, two things that I couldn't guarantee. My whole life had become sand, and I couldn't support the things that mattered, that would matter, on unsteady ground.

My whole body was shaking now, and I could feel the urge to rip from my skin crawling up and down my spine. I was so focused that it took me a while to notice a wolf was stood in front of me. Embry.

His dark russet head looked down at me, eyes shaped in concern. He cocked his head at me and I sighed, knowing there was no escaping now. Besides, I needed to shift, my body practically vibrating.

I stood and stripped, too agitated to worry about my clothing and letting it fall where it may. I felt my skin ripple, my body shaking so hard my vision blurred for a moment then all at once it felt like my entire being had snapped and I collapsed on all fours, my paws sinking into the soft earth around me.

I could feel Emby and Leah's consciousness pressing at my mind, Embry's fierce concern backed by Leah's subtle interest. I sighed knowing there was no point in trying to hide my thoughts from them; this had already consumed my mind and the pack would find out soon enough.

I could feel Embry and Leah's shock as his thoughts were revealed to them, the events from this morning up until now playing again and again.

'Holy shi-' Embry started, but Leah cut him off.

'Seriously Jake?!' I felt Leah's snarl through the mind link. 'It was bad enough that you were screwing the sister of the girl you're obsessed with but now you've knocked her up?'

I could feel the dread creep up my throat threatening to overwhelm me again. Sensing this Embry spoke up.

'Lay off Leah!'

But that wasn't enough to deter the she-wolf. 'If you think she's suddenly gonna pick you now, you're out of your mind.'

'Leah!' Embry barked, his agitation itching at the back of my mind and I belatedly realised I was growling.

'What?' Leah scoffed, 'I've been on his ass for screwing her this entire time, you think I'm gonna stop cos he's gonna be a daddy?'

Those words gave everyone pause, and I couldn't help but echo the sentiment. 'I'm gonna be a daddy.'

'Holy shit dude! You're gonna be a daddy!' Embry thirded.

And just like that being shifted wasn't enough. A feeling of overwhelming restlessness overtook me and I felt like if I didn't move right now I would combust where I stood. Without a word I took off running deep into the woods, leaving Embry behind. He didn't follow, and thankfully Leah realised that it might be better to be silent.

—-

I ran for almost an hour without thought, save for the small echo in the back of my mind reminding him that he was gonna be a daddy. Leah and Embry left me in peace, though I could hear their quiet discussion filter through from time to time. Though she didn't apologise, I could feel the push of guilt from her. I didn't acknowledge it.

Eventually though I knew I had to go somewhere, and I finally slowed in the woods behind Sam's place. I could hear several voices inside, Paul's playful growl, Quill's rebuttal followed by Emily's gentle scold, Sam's deep voice undercutting it all. I shifted, not bothering to say bye to Embry and Leah. There were several different caches of clothes around the bungalow for when we inevitably lost clothes to the shift; another new imposition in my life. I took my time dressing.

When I eventually made my way to the house I didn't bother knocking before making my way in. The pack would have heard me coming and Sam and Emily left the doors open in the day so we always had somewhere to go anyways. I made my way down the hallway from the back of the house. Emily had been cooking and the smell of it drifted around me, mixed with the laughter of a joke Seth had made.

I stepped into the doorway to the kitchen. Emily and Sam stood side by side at the counter, their backs to me. Paul was ribbing Seth at the table, probably for the joke he'd made at his expense, and Quill was laughing, but he was facing me and noticed when I walked into the room. I couldn't tell what my face was doing, blood still rushing in my ears.

"Hey man," There was a note of question in his voice. Seth and Paul echoed his greeting but didn't look up. Sam turned around to greet me, but it was clear that whatever Quill saw on my face he saw too.

"Hey Jake," Sam started, his eyes looking over me questioningly. "What brings you by? Figured you'd be hanging out at home today?"

Emily was looking at me as well by this point and it seemed that Paul and Seth had settled down, sensing the rising concern in the room.

Seeing that the attention of the room was now on me Sam offered- "Wanna take this outside?"

I started to shake my head, but I considered Sam's offer briefly. I appreciated all my brothers (and sister) in the pack, but I also knew that they would have some big opinions if Leah and Embry were anything to go by. If I went out with Sam I wouldn't have to deal with it right now. But I also knew that I'd have to deal with it eventually.

"Jake, why don't you-"

"Renesmee's pregnant." The room was filled with immediate silence except for the sound of an inhale followed by immediate choking- Paul had been taking a drink.

I risked a look up and was unsurprised to find 5 pairs of eyes on me. Emily had covered her gasp of surprise, hand at her mouth, Quill and Seth were both giving their best fish impressions, mouths flopping open and closed, and Paul was still trying to catch his breath. Sam's gaze was steady.

"How Jake?"

"How'd you think Sam?" I snapped immediately. The room stirred uncomfortably and Sam silently raised an eyebrow. I sighed, biting my tongue.

"I only found out this morning," My tone calmer; Sam didn't deserve my frustrations. "I haven't even told my dad yet."

Sam nodded slowly, rubbing a hand over his face. He pushed off from where he had been leaning back against the counter and walked over to me slowly.

"You're our brother Jake." He stated simply and placed a squeezing hand on my shoulder. "You know that. Whatever you need the pack's got your back through this." He pulled me into a lightly crushing hug. I took a deep breath into his shoulder, the knot in my chest easing just a little. It felt stupid to think I ran all this way for a hug, but I needed it.

I felt Emily's hand on my back and I stepped out of Sam's hug. "Come eat with us."

I nodded, breathing shakily. There was a spare seat between Seth and Quill that I took. Seth gave me a small smile, and Quill a stinging slap on the back. Emily put a pot of chilli on the table next to a pile of plates before sitting down herself.

"Let's eat!" Sam declared, rubbing his hands together.

SA * SA

July 20th (6 months)*

Jake's POV

I snorted as I felt a roll bounce off the back of my head before breaking into full on laughter. Ness giggled indignantly behind me.

"Fuck you, Black!" She yelled, but her laugh took the bite out of her words. Her appalled tone only made me laugh harder as I stirred the pot. Ness had come over for dinner and I was making my world famous cheese and bacon mash for her.

"You'd think after all the fucking stress your child is putting my body under you'd be nicer to me. I hope their head isn't half as fat as yours or I'm doomed!"

I threw my head back as I chortled at the insult. "Hey, our kid would be lucky to have a head as fat as mine!"

I dipped my finger in the pot of mash and tasted it to make sure it tasted just right. Ness had been real spartan about her food these days and I wasn't risking the black eye.

I twisted my mouth and rolled my shoulders as I debated the flavour of the mixture. That was when I smelled it. The subtle sweet, intoxicating scent of Ness' arousal. I took a deep breath, her smell filling my lungs, and released it from my mouth. This wasn't the first time I'd scented her.

It was an unspoken thing, but we hadn't had sex since I found out she was pregnant. Maybe it was becuase there was a feeling of having done enough on that front (hence the pregnancy), or 'cause we both felt we had enough to focus on now without putting sex back on the table, but whatever it was it had kept us out of each other's pants. But even though we weren't having sex that doesn't mean either of us had put it out of our minds.

I was unashamed to admit that sex with Renesmee was fucking fantastic, and going back to jerking off was not the same and not nearly as satisfying. And I know that sex had been on Ness' mind as well. She had never said anything, but she couldn't exactly hide it from me, especially now that I was more attuned to how she smelled when she was horny. When we first found out she was pregnant I didn't smell it as much. But as her pregnancy progressed I smelt it more and more. Sometimes it was a subtle thing, like when we were shopping and I'd put my hand on her back to get past her. Sometimes it almost smothered me and it took everything not to take her then and there.

I didn't know what had been stopping her from initiating, but I knew part of what had been stopping me. I couldn't lie and say I hadn't been doing some things intentionally to see if I could get her excited- it made me feel good knowing I had that effect on her body, but then I thought about Sam and my dad. They had been pushing me to come clean to Ness. Even though she wasn't my imprint she was still carrying my child. They both felt she had a right to know, and so did I, but I just hadn't found the confidence or the timing to tell her and I couldn't sleep with her knowing that I was still keeping it from her.

I could feel my body responding to the scent of her filling the kitchen and I knew if I turned around she'd see the effects of it. I cleared my throat, trying to focus on what I was doing, and reached for the garlic power on the side. I could sense her fidgeting behind me and hoped she wouldn't notice how stiff I had become, in more ways that one.

I heard movement behind me, Ness moving around the kitchen island, and I pretended not to notice until I felt her small hands on my back.

"What'd you need, Nessie?" My voice trembled and I was worried she could tell.

She didn't respond, her hands moving up my back and I let out a small shiver. When her hands got to my shoulders they pushed at me, turning me around to face her. I looked down at her face and I wished I hadn't. Her brown eyes had darked in lust, her pupils blown wide. Her face had a light blush to it, her soft lips pinched between her teeth. My hand seemed to move of its own accord and my thumb swept her mouth and pulled Ness' bottom lip from between her teeth.

"Jake." The soft, breathy sound of my name falling from Nessie's lips made me groan, and before I could stop myself my lips were on hers. Ness moaned in surprise and it only fueled me more. I felt her arms slide up my chest and around my neck before she licked her way into my mouth. My dick twitched in my pants, and I realised I was more hard than I had been since we'd stopped sleeping together. I was almost surprised by how intensely my body was responding to her.

My hands slid their way down her back to squeeze her ass. Nessie whimpered lightly into my mouth before pulling away. Not letting up, my mouth immediately moved down to her neck, remembering how much it turned her on.

"Jake," Ness moaned quietly, "I want you."

At her words I growled into her neck and adjusted the grip I had on her ass, lifting her onto the kitchen island and settling myself between her legs.

"Fuck Ness." I moaned as I got hit with another wave of the scent her arousal. I put my hands on her waist and felt the swell of her belly under my thumbs.

The reminder that she was pregnant stopped me in my tracks. Because it reminded me that there were still things I hadn't told her, which was why I hadn't let myself give in to my desires. I stood still, panting into her neck with the weight of my desire.

"...Jake?" Ness asked, confused by my sudden inaction.

I squeezed my eyes shut, because I knew I had gone too far with this. I pulled away from her and opened my eyes. Ness' brows were furrowed in confusion as she stared at my face, trying to piece together my hesitation.

"Is everything alright?" I could hear the uncertainty in her voice and it made my stomach heavy with guilt.

"I-I can't do this Ness." I stepped away from her, giving her room to get off the counter and myself room to think clearly again. The furrow in Renesmee's brow deepened as she registered what I had said.

"What-I- You kissed me, Jake!" She yelled incredulously.

"I know-"

"And now you just can't? Why?" She finally got off the counter and stood in front of me. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at me waiting for a response.

I shook my head, unable to think of anything that would excuse my actions and no longer able to meet her gaze.

Ness' eyes grew uncertain. "What? I'm not hot anymore because I'm pregnant?"

My eyes flashed back to hers- "You know that's not it Ness!"

"No Jake, I don't." Her voice was low, and this time it was her who looked away. I couldn't stop the shame and disgust I felt at having made her feel that way, wishing like hell that I could have controlled my stupid desire for her.

"Ness I'm sorry." I reached for her arm and she pulled away from me. "I promise there's an explanation." I added, trying not to be hurt by her response to my touch. Everything had been great 10 minutes ago.

"Well what is it then?" Renesmee's voice was cold, as were her eyes when she looked at me.

Again I found I couldn't answer her, my mouth open and trying to generate a response and failing. It wasn't the time to tell her the truth but I just couldn't find the right words to fix the damage I'd done.

Renesmee's eyes filled with tears and she turned away from me. "You know what. Nevermind." Her voice was thick.

"Ness-" I tried.

"I think I'm gonna go." She cut me off.

"You haven't eaten. I thought you wanted me to make-" I tried desperately, hoping to save the evening. If I could get her to stay, maybe I could make it up to her.

"I'm not hungry." She sniffed and wiped her eyes before turning back to me. "Sorry I bothered you."

Renesmee quickly grabbed her bag and coat from where they sat on the counter and walked out. I couldn't bring myself to try and stop her, feeling like I'd done enough damage. The door shut and I could hear her muffled sobs as she made her way to her truck. It didn't leave straight away. Instead she sat and cried for a moment. It wasn't until I heard the engine turn that I realised I hadn't moved.

The scent of burning hit my nose and I turned to the stove. There was smoke coming from the pot and I growled. I picked it up with shaking hands and dumped the entire thing in the sink. My chest heaved with anger at myself and shame for how I'd made Renesmee feel 'cause I couldn't get my shit together and just tell her the fucking truth.

"God damn it!" I hollered, slamming my fist into the metal of the sink and feeling it warp beneath my hand.

Another problem I created.

A/N When I tell you I struggled I mean I Struggled. I didn't think this chapter would take nearly this long by my God did I struggle with Jacob's narrative voice.

I was considering whether this was because Jacob is male, and so it was harder to put myself into the mindset of having gotten someone pregnant and how that would affect me vs being pregnant. I also wondered whether it was because Jacob already exists in the Twilight universe.

I know Renesmee exists, but in all intents and purposes she is a completely original character within this universe and I am under no obligation to attempt to replicate her. This Renesmee has had completely different experiences than Stephanie Myers'. Jacob on the other hand exists in a more tangible sense; he has thoughts and feelings within the Twilight series, so it's more about me adopting a voice that already exists and applying it to my narrative.

Just some food for thought but I think I managed it in the end. Anywho, lemme know what you think. I hope you enjoyed this dip into his side of things in any case. See you on the flip side.