This was initially part of the last chapter but it ended up a bit too long. Thanks for reading as always! Please review :)

Chapter 8

Yellow

17th December 1997

"What colours begin with D?" Tonks asked, the next day, through a mouthful of melted cheddar into which she was dipping large chunks of crusty bread. They had sadly not been able to source any camembert, and apparently it was not good for the baby anyway, although as this was something they had read in the Quibbler several months previously, neither of them were sure how true it was.

"Dark Green?" Remus replied. He unscrewed the lid off a bottle of non-alcoholic butterbeer and poured them both a glass. The liquid, though a few shades paler than the real version, still tasted good and had a similar warming effect. She took the drink with thanks but gave him an unimpressed look at his comment.

"Dark Blue?" he suggested instead, raising an eyebrow. "Ok, fine… what about Diamond?"

"Better…" Tonks agreed, sipping her drink. "But isn't that kind of a prostitute-y name?"

"My dearest Dora, do you really think I know any prostitute names?" Remus said drily. "Am I getting any of that by the way?" he nodded in amusement at the plate of cheese.

"Nope," Tonks said, cheerfully digging her bread into it again. "But there's more in the kitchen if you want it. This isn't dinner by the way," she hastened to clarify. "Just a predinner snack! I've already put the chicken in the oven."

"I figured." He took a piece of bread, knowing better than to take some of her precious cheese at such a crucial time as predinner, and chewed it, thinking.

"Daisy," he said, eventually.

"Daisy isn't a colour!" Tonks shot back at once. "It's a flower-"

She broke off, her eyes widening with slight alarm as there was a knock on the door. Looking a little uneasy himself, Remus said, "It'll be someone we know, only people we trust know our address. And anyway, those we don't know would hardly knock."

Sure enough, Bill Weasley stood on the doorstep, smiling at them, with a basket over one arm.

"Everything's fine!" he reassured them at once, seeing their anxious faces as he stepped into the house. "Just came for a couple of things. Firstly, to bring you this." He held out the basket. "Fleur's into jam making now. Raspberry, lemon, blackcurrant, you name it. I think there's even dandelion in here."

"Dandelion!" Tonks looked up excitedly from her cheese. "That's a colour."

"How is dandelion a colour if daisy isn't?" Remus said indignantly, looking through the basket that Bill had brought. "Thank Fleur for us Bill, these are great."

"Well dandelions are only ever yellow for a start," Tonks said at once. "Daisies can be all kinds of mixes. Anyway, dandelion is a way better name. I'm not going on radio named after one of my Granpa's old dairy cows, even if I am starting to look like one."

"This wouldn't be for Potterwatch would it, by any chance?" Bill enquired.

"You tuned in!"

"Yep, caught most of it last night! And if you want my input, Dandelion certainly suits you. Bright… wild…"

"…Messy… Leaves stuff everywhere." Remus muttered from behind them, removing several haphazardly stacked mugs from a shelf and putting them in their assigned cupboard, before lining up the little jars from Fleur neatly in their place.

"Did you like it?" Tonks said eagerly to Bill, disregarding her husband's jibe.

"It was great," Bill assured her. "It's so brave of you guys, and I haven't laughed so much in a very long time. Fleur enjoyed it too, and-"

He stopped and looked seriously between them.

"Look, if I tell you something, I need you to swear you won't tell the rest of my family. Not even Dad, and definitely not Mum and the twins."

"Of course!" Remus and Tonks exchanged astonished glances. What could Bill possibly want to share with them that he wasn't willing to tell the rest of his family?

"Ron is with us at the moment. Has been for a few weeks now."

"Ron?" Tonks gasped. "But... isn't he with Harry? Is everything ok?"

"I'm not exactly sure what happened," Bill admitted. "Ron is being very sketchy about the details, but I think they had some kind of row and Ron walked out on them." He grimaced. "From the little Ron's told me it sounds like it was a rash decision made in anger, and that things were going ok – or as ok as they could have been - before he left. He's been trying to re-join them ever since, but really struggling to figure out how he can, which also suggests they are keeping themselves well hidden."

"Well, that's something at least," Tonks breathed, and Bill nodded in agreement.

"I was pretty thrown when he turned up to be honest, but it's clear he feels awful about it, and he spends hours up in his room trying to figure out what he might be able to do to get back, so I'm definitely not going to lecture him. Figured it's better not to ask too many questions. And I've assured him that I won't mention it to the rest of the family."

"And he doesn't mind you telling us?" Remus asked.

"No," Bill said. "In fact he specifically said he wanted me to when I said I was coming to see you. Two reasons, actually. Tonks," he turned to her, "they heard news of your Dad."

Tonks sat up bolt upright at this, her eyes wide. "Not much news." Bill held up his hand cautiously. "They didn't speak to him or anything, but apparently they heard him. Again, I have no idea how or in what circumstances. Ron wouldn't say, and I guess it's probably for the best that as few people know as possible anyway… but it was definitely him, and it was just before he left, a few weeks ago. He was alive, sounded perfectly healthy, and he wasn't alone either. Ron thought you would appreciate knowing that."

Tonks nodded, looking more than a little shocked. "It's- It's very sweet of him to think of me," she said at last. "I never really thought Ron was one for…" she hesitated.

"Tact or thoughtfulness?" Bill supplied, raising an amused eyebrow. "You and me both. But I think this whole thing has really shaken him, and he's trying to make up for it in whatever ways he can."

"On a similar note, but if possible, even more vague - he asked me to tell you, Remus, that Harry talked about you often, and really hoped that things were ok… I wasn't sure exactly what he meant but he seemed to think that you would. He said that if there was nothing else he could do for Harry at the moment, he at least wanted to do that."

Remus nodded slowly, suddenly understanding. Harry, no doubt, felt guilty about the scene at Grimmauld place, having no way of knowing that his harsh words had had more of a positive and long-lasting impact than he could have possibly imagined.

"That does mean a lot. Thanks Bill. Tell him to give Harry an update on us when he eventually re-joins him, that we're both well, even if Tonks is eating most of the food," he shook his head jokingly at her as she reached for the last slice of bread, "and yes. Things are definitely ok."

"Of course."

Tonks was looking at Remus with a rather odd expression on her face, but it wasn't until much later that she broached the subject. Bill returned to Shell Cottage and they got the rest of the dinner together, Tonks making it perfectly clear simply by her expression that on no account were they to discuss Ted Tonks at any point that night or in the near future. They were sitting in the lounge enjoying the sight of the Christmas lights in the window, which they had put up that morning just as Fred had suggested, when she spoke.

"You saw Harry, didn't you?" she said abruptly, not looking directly at him. "When you went…away."

He swallowed with difficulty, feeling uncomfortable, but he had always known it would come to this eventually, that she would have to know where he had been for those four days after Bill and Fleur's wedding. He explained the details of his absence, and their culmination in turning up at Grimmauld Place, and the intense discussion and then argument that had ensued with Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He hesitated, wondering if an argument was coming on. Not daring to meet her eyes, he fiddled with a loose strand of material on the arm of the sofa.

"I suppose... Because I was afraid of how you might react. And because I was ashamed that it took the words of an angry seventeen-year-old to finally set me on the right path."

"Why? What did he say to you?"

Remus grimaced. The memory of that scene in the kitchen at Grimmauld place was still more than a little painful.

"Can't remember the exact words but the gist was that what I was acting despicably. Told me I was being a coward. That he was ashamed of me. Reminded me that James and Lily died to save him and would have wanted to know what the hell I was playing at, trying to abandon my own kid and play daredevil like Sirius."

Tonks's jaw dropped. "Harry said that? To you?"

"Yes, and I was furious at first, at the nerve of him, then devastated that he could ever think that of me in that way. But Dora, it was the right thing to say. No one, ever, in my whole life, had spoken to me with so much bluntness, and it was what I'd being needing for a long time. It was like those few angry words cleared my mind completely… everything suddenly made sense."

He paused, still not looking at her, then went on.

"It sounds from what Bill said that he feels guilty, but he needn't. I'm sure he doesn't really mean everything he said – I certainly hope so, anyway - but they were true all the same, and those angry words did me so much good."

"But that's why you came back?"

He winced at her pointed tone, and responded slowly, playing for time.

"What do you mean?"

"You had a row with Harry and that's why you came back to me?"

The atmosphere in the living room was suddenly more tense.

"No, that's not-"

"Well, it sounds like you only came back because he refused your company and said he was ashamed of you?"

There was a harshness to her gaze now. Remus could feel it out of the corner of his eye, and he knew he was in very dangerous territory. But before he could properly formulate his thoughts into how to navigate this particular nest of vipers, Tonks had flopped back down on the sofa.

"Urgh, I'm sorry," she sighed, running her hands through her currently auburn hair so that it looked quite wild. "Part of me just wants to pick a fight suddenly. And the other part of me knows that's completely ridiculous. I don't know what's wrong with me at the moment."

He had a feeling that the unexpected news of her dad had a lot to do with it, but this was a strictly taboo subject and had been for weeks now. He went for the fractionally less dangerous suggestion.

"Dare I mention hormones?"

She shot him another sideways glance, eyes narrowed, and he held up his hands in defence.

"Dora, I'm not trying to antagonise you, but it's completely understandable to have changes in your mood when you have a human growing inside you. And OK, my one and only experience of spending time with a pregnant woman is with Lily all those years ago, but she had a fair few ups and downs herself. In fact, I would say I saw her in some far worse tempers than I've seen you so far."

"Oh yeah?"

He sighed reminiscently.

"So, you know how Sirius's right hand was missing a fingernail. And he always said he lost to a venomous tentacula in our sixth year."

"Yeah..." She was grinning in spite of herself. He knew that she loved hearing about Sirius's younger days, reminders of a more carefree, happier cousin, one who hadn't been harshened by thirteen years in a desolate prison.

"Let's just say I'd take the venomous tentacula over a heavily pregnant Lily Potter who had to wait half an hour to use the bathroom because Sirius was having a long shower."

Her eyes crinkled at the edges as she shook her head in mock dismay. "Oh Sirius. Never come between a pregnant woman and the bathroom. What happened?"

"Well from what I can remember Lily banged on the door for a good twenty minutes, but Sirius still took his time. Eventually, when she was actually threatening to blow the entire door off its hinges, he finished up. Came out all casual and made the mistake of pretending that he hadn't realised she was waiting, she should have said something." Remus grinned again. "He was still laughing at her when she came back out a few minutes later. So Lily flipped her lid completely and threatened to permanently lock the bathroom door shut and see how he liked it. And when Sirius – still laughing, by the way – pointed out that she would undoubtedly suffer more from that than he would, she smashed the drink he had in his hand into pieces. Completely obliterated it. And one of his fingers caught the blast too. Their friendship suffered no lasting damage. Not so true of the fingernail."

"I can't say that I blame her in the slightest," Tonks said, now laughing along. "I think if you tried doing that to me right now you would be in danger of losing a lot more than fingernails."

"I wouldn't dare," Remus assured her. "Well, I couldn't blame her either, and James had already given Sirius plenty of warnings about not winding her up. To be fair, I think he did feel bad afterwards and it seemed to teach him a lesson. He was very polite to her for the rest of her pregnancy, and most certainly never went to the bathroom when she was round at our flat without asking if she needed to use it first. I don't know if Lily ever felt too guilty about his missing fingernail though."

They were still laughing together, but as the amusement tailed off he was sure he could still see mistrust in her eyes.

"Dora, please." He took her hand, resuming the topic that he knew had only been put on hold temporarily. "Please don't think that I only came back to you because of Harry. Or James or Lily or Sirius for that matter. I came back because of you. Because I knew it was right for us, and for our baby, and above all because I wanted to, desperately. And I truly believe that I would have come to that realisation myself, eventually. But it just took Harry, and the thought of his parents, to speed that process along a bit, and knock some sense into me for good."

"Something else we have them to be thankful for then." Tonks was smiling properly now, her face completely softened. "Your fingernails are safe, don't worry," she added, as she pushed herself up from the sofa.

"You're not angry?" Dora was generally not one to say things were fine if they weren't, but you could never be quite sure at the moment.

"Nope," she replied, over her shoulder. "Just glad there is no one taking a long shower in our bathroom. And I'm starving."

Relief turned quickly to disbelief.

"How can you possibly be starving? You basically had two dinners?"

But Tonks had already clattered upstairs. She came back a couple of minutes later via the kitchen, holding a large variety tin of biscuits, one of the things her mother had pressed on them the other day "for Christmas".

"These might not still be good at Christmas," she said seriously. "Better open them now, just in case."

They hadn't shared such a light-hearted and happy evening in a very long time, working their way steadily through the tin of biscuits, Tonks slapping Remus's hand away every time he reached for a particularly chocolatey one, while they discussed Remus's codename for their next appearance on Potterwatch, all talk of harsh words and cowardice forgotten.

Eventually, when Tonks was getting sleepier and sillier, as were her suggestions, Remus decided it was time for bed.

"No to Donkey and Dodo. I might consider Dingo," he said. "Come on, lets discuss it in the morning."

He stood up and waved out the lights with his wand, then tugged her arm ineffectually to try and get her off the sofa.

"Come on!"

"Damocles," she said, a triumphant note to her voice as she finally let him haul her up. She swayed against him. "After the inventor of the Wolfsbane potion."

"Ok... well that's pretty damn good, I'll admit. But we're still going to sleep now."

She didn't move. Her hair was blond and soft now, falling around her shoulders. Her eyes were shining in the dim light, her whole body pressed against him.

"Are you sure?" she whispered, her face very close to his.

Suddenly, he was not sure at all. Her mouth tasted of chocolate and also lemon, an odd combination of the biscuits she had been eating and the jam she had been dipping them in. Sleep was suddenly the last thing on his mind.

The Christmas lights glowed a rich warm yellow as they sank back onto the sofa. Outside, snow had begun to fall.