Chapter IX
The plane Ravager and Red Hood hijacked in the last episode begins to lose altitude and descend towards the Russian Wilderness. Ravager checked the fuel gauge; it was set at 'Empty'.
Ravager: I told you to check the fuel!
Red Hood: There's a good reason why I didn't do it...what was it? Oh yeah, we're fugitives of the US government!
Ravager: Did you think of stealing parachutes while you were breaking me out?!
Red Hood: It didn't occur to me!
Ravager: It should've, genius! Now we're gonna die!
Red Hood: No we're not. Jump!
Ravager jumped out of the cockpit; Red Hood jumped out of the gunner's seat. They fell and landed in a freezing-cold river, as the plane crashed into a small shack on the bank. Red Hood appeared at the surface and looked at the wreckage.
Red Hood: I hope there was nobody in there. Rose?
Ravager appeared next to him, taking a relieved breath.
Red Hood: There you are.
Ravager: I'd like to get out of the water now.
Red Hood: Me too.
The two fugitives begin swimming towards the bank, where the wreckage of their plane was now on fire.
Red Hood: Could've landed better.
Ravager: Our ride's trashed, we're stranded in the wilderness, we're nowhere near the Crocks' location, I'm cold and my clothes are wet! And it's all... your... fault!
She points a finger at Red Hood, glaring at him.
Red Hood: You're talking me out of my clothes so we can have sex in the snow?
Ravager: Not sex! We need to warm up or else we'll die from Hypothermia!
Red Hood: Fine.
Red Hood then starts to take off his clothes.
Red Hood: Don't look down, you might be impressed.
Ravager turns around and starts undressing. Propping her katanas in front of the flaming plane, she removes her helmet and places it on the one on the left. She takes off her armour, stacking it on the katana on the right. She takes her shirt off, before bending down and taking her boots off. She took her pants off, followed by her bra and panties, then stacking them near the fire, but not too close so they don't burn. Save for the eyepatch, she's completely naked.
Red Hood: Should you take off the eyepatch?
Ravager: And make you vomit? Not a chance.
Red Hood came over, carrying his wet clothes in a pile, and his helmet. He placed them next to Ravager's clothes and joined her in front of the fire.
Red Hood: Ya know I'm not squeamish. Take it off.
Ravager: Alright.
She takes the eyepatch off, revealing the empty eye socket. Jason's eyes widened. Ravager looks down.
Ravager: So, you're not repulsed?
Red Hood: I tore a guy's finger off one time.
Ravager: I took a picture of Dick and Kory skinny-dipping.
Red Hood: Can I see it?
She walks over to her pile of clothes, pulls out her device, walks back to Jason and opens the picture of Dick and Kory skinny-dipping. (Think back to 'Season 6, Episode 7')
Ravager: Here.
Jason looks at the image.
Red Hood: Nice; alien boobies.
Ravager: Pervert.
Red Hood: Male instincts.
Ravager takes the device and turns it off.
Ravager: Needs to reserve its battery.
Red Hood: So how long till I get to put my clothes on?
Ravager: Until morning. Don't freeze to death.
Red Hood: Don't worry. I won't.
Ravager: I never asked you but, how'd you come to be in Batman's service?
Red Hood: Funny Story; I almost stole his tires.
Ravager: You were a street rat? Where were your birth parents?
Red Hood: I was orphaned, learnt to survive on my own, so yes, I was a street rat. I was taking the tyres off the Batmobile when Batman spotted me. I thought he was going to punish me, but I was wrong. I think he saw potential in me and took me under his wing as the second Robin. The first time I put on the suit, it was the best day of my life. Then he thought of me as aggressive.
Ravager: What did you do?
Red Hood: Got too aggressive with the criminals. Gave them severe injuries. Once I shattered a guy's collarbone; he was furious.
Ravager: Well he was a criminal.
Red Hood: That's what I told him. Later, we tracked the Joker and prevented him from shipping laughing gas around the world. I made the mistake by tackling him alone, and he overpowered me. I woke up in a warehouse in Sarajevo, tied and Joker hitting me with a crowbar. He left me to die.
Ravager: Well, you're alive and well.
Red Hood: Yeah.
Ravager: How did you survive?
Red Hood: I took a bath in the Lazarus Pit. Is it still operating?
Ravager: No. The Titans dried it up. It was for the best, though; the pit had side effects for anyone who bathed in its waters.
Red Hood: I know. Turns you deranged. I've been there. What about you?
Ravager: My father always pushed me to be the best I could be. I wanted to avenge him by killing Terra, so I made a deal with Lex Luthor to free her from her statuesque form. However, the Titans got in the way and I failed. Father removed one of my eyes, recruited my brother and killed Ra's Al Ghul. We crashed Dick and Starfire's wedding and abducted most of the Titans.
Red Hood: What did Slade want with them?
Ravager: He wanted their powers, and he didn't share them with me or Joseph. He went mad with power, and we tried to take him out but couldn't. He killed Joseph, and I killed father, but because of the pit, they're alive. When Protocol 12 was announced, the Titans went to stop it, and I was stuck with their children. After his capture, I struck out on my own, taking jobs. That's where I got this scar, (She points to a scar on her stomach), from a pit fight with Bronze Tiger in Yemen.
Red Hood: Like me, except the Bronze Tiger thing.
Ravager: I betrayed Waller, and persuaded you to do the same. And now we're two fugitives, on the run from the government, and naked in the Russian Wilderness.
Red Hood: Yeah, how long till we can get our clothes on because I'm scared Mother Nature will send someone out to snap at my downstairs area.
Ravager: Just wait till morning. We have a long way to go until we reach Siberia.
Red Hood: How do you know we aren't there yet?
Ravager: I think we're in Siberia. It's just, all of Russia looks the same.
Red Hood: Racist much?
Ravager lay on the ground and turned her back to Jason.
Ravager: Good night, Jason.
Red Hood: Sleep well, Rose.
Ravager closes her eye and goes to sleep. Jason lies down on the snow and links an arm around her, before falling asleep.
Ravager: Don't get any funny ideas. And remove your arm.
Red Hood: We need to get warmer.
Ravager: Fine.
The next morning:
Ravager and Red Hood, now wearing their dry clothes, were trekking through the Taiga forest.
Red Hood: You DO know where you're going, don't you?
Ravager: I don't. It's just a hunch.
Red Hood stopped.
Red Hood: A hunch?! We're walking in the fucking cold because of a hunch?!
Ravager: I swear this is the way to the prison.
Red Hood: Rose, we've been walking in circles. We're lost.
Ravager sighed. Then, she looked up at the spruce trees.
Ravager: Not for long.
Red Hood: Unless there are apples, why this tree?
Ravager: It's probably the tallest.
Ravager begins to climb the tree.
Red Hood: Sure climbing trees, what good could that be?
Ravager: At least we'd be able to see!
Red Hood: See what? Trees?
Ravager: Over them!
Ravager continues to climb until she reaches the canopy.
Red Hood: What can you see?!
Ravager: The prison! It's that way!
She jumps down.
Ravager: C'mon.
They start running.
Black Bear Maximum Security Prison- Meanwhile.
Artemis and Sportsmaster, their wrists and ankles bound, were standing in the courtyard, in front of a wall, faced by 20 guards aiming their rifles at them. The Warden stepped forwards.
Sportsmaster: Warden, I have a question. Why are me and my daughter in the same prison? Should we be in separate institutions?
Warden: Silence American pig!
Sportsmaster: Hey! Who are you calling fat?!
Warden: You're not fat; you're rather buff for a fat American.
Artemis: Can we go now?
Sportsmaster: Sure, except we can't.
Warden: Artemis and Sportsmaster, you are being executed for trespassing on our territory!
Artemis: Well, yeah! We only did it to get away from the US government-
Warden: Silence! After this, you will never see the light of another day!
Sportsmaster: Hey Stalin, I know where you can stick your laws!
Warden: You wanna die now?! Soldiers! Ready! (The soldiers cocked their rifles) Aim! (They aimed their rifles at the Crocks again) Fire-
The warden was interrupted by a bullet, shot in his head. He fell to the ground, dead.
Sportsmaster: Prayers be answered.
The guards tried to get a good look at the shooters, but they were then taken out by a hail of bullets. Red Hood and Ravager jumped into the prison and continue firing on the guards.
Artemis: Took you long enough. (Looks at Red Hood) Why is he here?
Red Hood: You're welcome Katniss.
Artemis: Ugh, enough with the flirting.
He loosens her cuffs with his key, before releasing Sportsmaster. Sportsmaster then grabbed Red Hood's neck.
Sportsmaster: I ought to snap your neck right about now.
Red Hood: That's the thanks I get for saving you from death?
Sportsmaster: You put us in this mess!
Ravager holds her katana at Sportsmaster's throat.
Ravager: Drop him. He freed me. He wants to take down Waller just as much as I do.
Red Hood: It's true.
Sportsmaster: Fair enough.
He drops him.
Sportsmaster: And if it's not true, then I won't be so kind on your balls.
Red Hood: Eww.
Artemis: So what now? Is there a plane to get us out?
Ravager: Unfortunately, the plane we hijacked from Waller is a burning heap.
Artemis: Great, does that mean we have to steal a plane?
Ravager: Looks like it.
Airbase- Later. Ravager, Red Hood, Artemis and Sportsmaster are surveying the heavily-guarded military area.
Artemis: There's no way we can get in undetected. Once we get close, the cameras are gonna see us and we'd be blown to kingdom come.
Red Hood: Distraction?
The three looked at Sportsmaster.
Sportsmaster: I hate the way you look at me, but I love what I'm about to do.
Sportsmaster charges into the base and starts taking out guards.
The alarms start blaring throughout the base.
PA System: Intruder alert! Intruder alert! All guards to sector 3.
Outside the base: The three watched the guards leaving.
Ravager: Now's our chance, go!
They run into the compound and start blasting; Red Hood shot the security cameras.
The three make it to the jets and each get into their own.
Red Hood: Hey Katniss, what about your Dad?
Artemis: He'll be here.
Red Hood: Alright, let's get out of here.
Ravager: Are we leaving him behind?
Red Hood: I am.
He starts his jets engines and begins to leave.
Artemis: Looks like he cares more about killing Waller than my dad.
Ravager: Well, your Dad did try to kill him.
Artemis: Fair point.
Voice: Wait!
Sportsmaster came running out of the base; soldiers followed, still firing.
Soldier: They're escaping! Stop those planes!
The soldiers turned their attention from Sportsmaster to the jets. Sportsmaster climbs into the back seat of his daughter's jet.
Sportsmaster: Go! Go! Go!
Soldier: Bring out the big guns!
The soldiers parted to form a line down the middle; a burly soldier carrying a missile launcher walked forwards. He bent down on one knee and aimed it at Ravager's jet.
Soldier: This is for the memory of the USSR.
Before he could fire, a missile came flying towards the groups of soldiers; they all scatter. The soldier with the missile launcher is blown up.
Red Hood: Well he went out with a bang.
Sportsmaster: Right. Let's go!
Ravager and Artemis started their engines, and the jets took off.
Red Hood: So long, Communists!
Red Hood, Ravager and Artemis piloted their jets above the clouds, hiding them from view.
The End
Cast
Pamela Adlon: Ravager/Rose Wilson
Yuri Lowenthal: Red Hood/Jason Todd
Stephanie Lemelin: Artemis
Nick Chinlund: Sportsmaster
Rob Paulsen: Additional Voices