Fanfiction was down last week so although I posted you couldn't see it for days. If you haven't caught up go read chapter 11 now.

10 Weeks Pregnant

Jo sighed as she finally found her way to an empty on-call room, this pregnancy was really kicking her butt, the morning (all day) sickness had really hit her full force in the last few weeks. Bailey had been begging her to take some time off but honestly, Jo couldn't picture anything worse than that, not only would the time allow her to be overwhelmed with the impending arrival of her and Alex's baby but she'd also have to sit and torture herself wondering if he was ever stepping through that door. She couldn't help it, no matter how many times she conceived herself she could do it alone, she could manage two kids with no fathers reality always came crashing down around her when she had to call one of her friends for help with Mia. He'd promised he'd be here, that he wanted this baby...their baby. But he wasn't here and when he was they were barely on speaking terms, they just didn't seem to be a way out of this mess, not one Jo could see anyway.

It had been two weeks since Alex left, he was due back today but with every second that passed the fear that she'd been trying to keep below the surface crept up until it manifested in her puking her guts up as the clock turned 12. He'd been checking in with her regularly, at least one text exchange a day and she was pretty sure he'd had Meredith watching her as well.

No one knew about her pregnancy yet, just Meredith and Bailey, she hadn't even told Link she just wasn't ready for everyone's judgement. Poor widow Jo a single mother once again. The stupid girl that ended up knocked up by none other than her ex-husband that had left and never looked back. God, she wasn't sure she could handle the stares, the whispers, they were bad enough with Alex being in the building, wait until everyone discovered she was pregnant. She'd have to tell people soon before the rumour mill started turning especially since she was growing even faster this time around. Sinking back into the uncomfortable cot, she lets her hands trace across the faint bump that has started to show itself.

Closing her eyes as she let out a shaky breath, as she started to trace circles over her growing bump, it felt more real now you could see it. There was tiny life half her half Alex growing inside of her, and as frightening and messy as this situation was there was one thing she knew for sure this baby was gonna be so loved.

When she woke a few hours later her calm state soon evaporated, hours past the time Alex had been expected and still no sign of him, no calls, no text, no nothing. He wasn't here and she could keep telling herself she didn't need him but that didn't mean his presence or lack of presence hurt any less. He should be here by now.

"There you are."

And there he is. Like he could read her mind showing up just as she's about to spiral out.

He plops down on the bed opposite her, a casual grin on his face as he leans back, resting both hands behind his head, completely oblivious to the rollercoaster of emotions Jo feels as she takes him in. "Teddy said she thought she saw you head up here."

"You didn't text…" She mutters, brushing her hand through her hair as she sits up right. "You've text every day and today you didn't…"

"Yeah well there's no great service on the plane, figured I'd just ask what you've eaten when I saw you." Alex shrugs nonchalantly, as his phone dings.

"Right of course…"

"You okay?" Alex frowns, finally taking in her dishevelled appearance, she looks more tired than usual, her eyes dark and sunken, her skin pale, pale enough to notice in the dim lights of the on-call room.

"Yeah just tired."

"I have a meeting with Bailey but I can push it." Alex stands coming closer, his hand brushing across her shoulder gently forcing her to look up at him as he hovers in front of her, Concern written across his face as the phone continues to buzz in his hands. Jo takes the moment to study his face, he's here. He's actually here in front of her like he promised he would be.

She pats his hand lightly, forcing a bright smile onto her face, pushing herself up to stand, straightening out her scrub top from where it had twisted up, "No...no it's okay."

"I'll find you later."

And he's gone again but he's here. He's down the hall she could go after him and call him back in here. He was here. His hands had just been on her, she could still feel the heat from where it had been pressed against her shoulder. He'd come back.

It all feels overwhelming for Jo having nothing left to throw up as she wretches over the empty trash can in the room, hot tears splashing down her cheeks. She crumples into a heap on the floor still gripping the trash can as the sobs rack through her body, all the tension she'd been holding onto finally being let go.

She hears the door swing open over her cries, but she can't find the energy to get up, hoping whoever had walked in on her mess would just turn back around.

"Jo...Jo what's wrong?" It's Link, she can hear him lock the door as he rushed over beside her, his hand in her back as he scans her over for any harm.

She can't breathe. She can barely see him as she looks, her tears blurring her vision, gripping onto his shoulder. She tries to calm herself enough to get the words out but they seem trapped in her throat, he's doing everything he can to get her to calm down as he rubs her back slowly, his face of concern.

"I'm pregnant...and Alex's father." She managed to get out through shaky breaths, the tears that just keep coming as she begins to wretch again, struggling to move away from Link.

"What?"

"And he left." Everything blurs out of focus as Jo stares down at the speckled floor, watching in slow motion as her tears splash against the ground. "He left and he came back."

Link stares at her, his face scrunched up in confusion as he tries to make out what she is saying in between all her sobs and shaky breaths.

"He came back." Jo swallows, trying to get a hold of her breathing clutching at her chest, she can feel the rapid beating of her heart as the other hand wraps slowly around her faint bump. "He came back."

"Why didn't he come back before?" She cries, her whole body shaking as Link wraps her in a hug, the hot tears flowing down her face as she wipes her nose on the back of her hand. She'd been waiting for him to come back but she hadn't realised how hard it would hit her when he actually did, here she had been bracing herself for him to never walk through that door again, but he had, just six years too late. "Why wasn't I enough for him before?" She whimpers again, making Link squeeze his eyes shut.

"Take a deep breath." He rubs her back soothingly letting her get it all out while he holds her close. "Have you spoken to Carly about this?"

Jo shakes her head finally looking up to meet his eye. "No, not yet." Taking a deep breath she shifts back slowly to lean against the wall, shrugging out of Links grip."Don't look at me like that okay?"

This is exactly why she hasn't told anyone, she wasn't ready to see their faces when they found out, the pity in their eyes. God, she already feels like she lives in an endless cycle of pity if it wasn't her second husband leaving her it was her third husband dying with very little in between. She was a walking trauma and everyone had their opinion, she hated when people told her "they'd keep her in their prayers" or that "they could never imagine surviving her pain". Especially when she had no choice but to survive it.

"Hey there's no judgment from me, I just want you to look after yourself." Link mutters as if he could read her mind.

It takes a while for Jo to find the strength to get back up off the floor, Link forcing her down to the cafeteria to get lunch with him, it reminded her how insufferable he'd been when she was pregnant with Mia.

When Link had been paged to the E.R a little while later, she took the time to finally call Carly and confirm her session for later this week, she'd been putting it off for too long and she knew that.

She doesn't even notice him enter until she hears his laugh echo across the cafeteria. He chatting away with Maggie and Meredith about something as they line up in the queue. He seems so care free, so happy, so light, while Jo's having a breakdown at the mere sight of him he's walking around this hospital like he didn't have a care in the world.

"I broke down today." She mutters quietly her eyes narrowing on Alex as she reaches the trio, watching as the smile that's on his face fades the second he catches sight of her face, still red blotchy from the tears she'd cried, her fatigue more evident out in the light.

"Oh?" He frowns, looking between Maggie and Meredith who just shrug. "Are you…?"

"Okay? No...not really." Jo snaps, crossing her arms across her chest blocking his path.

Alex smirks, he actually smirks to her face, he's laughing and it only makes her burn more with anger. "I'm sorry?"

"That doesn't help you know. Saying sorry doesn't fix anything for me."

He sighs, dropping the tray down against the side, leaning he closes as glances around the room quickly. They had started gaining an audience but Jo was past carrying, her anger taking over. She'd been crying, feeling like she couldn't breathe and here he was joking around with his mates as nothing had ever happened. "Well, what can I do then?"

"Nothing, there's nothing you can do and frankly I don't want you to do anything Alex I don't need you for anythi-" The sick feeling that had been rising in her throat gets the better of her once again as she bolts to the closest trash can, as she hurls the contents of her lunch up in front of everyone.

"Jo?" Alex is there immediately, she can feel the heat from where his hand traced across the back of her neck as he held her hair back, hating the way her body reacts to him no matter how she is feeling. "Come here."

"'No...don't touch me." Jo groans, whipping her mouth on the sleeve of her lab coat, pushing hard against his chest, she needs air and she can't get that with him standing so close. "I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Jo I'm trying to help that's my child." He finally breaks, a slight tinge of annoyance in his voice as he moves forward for her again.

"Yeah well, when he or she is no longer inhabiting my body you can do what you like but until they are born this is my body, my baby and I'm not going anywhere with you." She hisses, slapping away his hand for a second time. If the hospital didn't know she was pregnant before they certainly did now.

"I wanna support you, Jo, please just let me help."

Jo lets out a hopeless laugh, one hand cradling her bump protectively. "I wish I had done an Izzie and just called you in five years time." It's wrong and deep down she knows it but she's looking for a fight, she was ready for a fight she wasn't ready for him to just pop back up all cheery and light and be the helpful kind guy he was supposed to be six years ago.

"Jo…" Meredith comes in between the pair, her voice a warning tone.

"Oh wait she didn't call you did she?" Jo snaps, unable to stop herself as she pushes past Meredith, Alex was still not saying anything just standing there, his eyes never leaving hers. Why won't he fight? Why won't he say something...anything, why isn't he being the man she knows. "You called her and let's be honest you seem to have a real issue picking up the phone when I call."

"I'm sorry." His face falls and for a moment she feels satisfied, almost happy that he looks as in pain as she is but that soon fades, her emotions cooling like a bucket of ice had just been thrown over her. This wasn't her. She didn't wanna hurt him, not really, not ever but the pain she feels every time she looks at him is more then she can take right now.

"So you keep saying...well go be sorry be somewhere else Alex, somewhere away from me."

He stands there for a moment, scanning her over slowly before he turns to look around the room noting that all eyes are on them before turning back to Jo. He swallows deeply, his eyes casting down to meet the floor as backs away brushing past Meredith who mumbles something Jo can't quite make out as he leaves.

The guilt sets in almost instantly, she wants to apologise, tell him it the hormones and maybe it is or maybes it's the years of suppressing her feelings and never getting the chance to say her peace. He'd come back like he had promised he would and Jo just couldn't work out why it had hurt so much.

Happy Greys Day, sorry this chapter isn't so happy hopefully the next one will be a little better, it does include a bundle of joy named Mia.

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

It's in my heart, it's in my head
I never take back the things I said

Atlantis - Seafret