Lorelai often told anyone who doubted her competency to be a mother that she became an adult "the minute the stick turned pink." She liked the way her flippant response shut them up. Yes, she might be young, but she was Rory's mother. She'd grown up fast because she had to. At 16, she thought she was an adult.
A year later, she took her daughter and stormed off into the unknown. That was when she discovered that the grown-up she thought she was at 16 had no clue. Having her own place, her own bills, a job, plus a child to care for gave her a sober introduction into true adulthood.
Will's death opened another level of maturity she hadn't known existed. It was a place where sadness ruled but had to be ignored. A place where grief spread over all other responsibilities. A place where everyday life continued without a pause, no matter what tragedies had befallen. There were still bills to pay, babysitters to schedule, work hours to rearrange. Nothing stopped just because of death. Sorrow just became one more thing to deal with.
The days between Will's death and his funeral were crazy busy, and for that, Lorelai was grateful. Being busy saved her from thinking too much about her loss. Being bone tired meant that she could drop into bed at night and sleep without missing him. She was happy to be the go-fer, the errand-runner, the babysitter. She volunteered for any task that needed doing. She stopped in to check on the orders at the florist. She went to the inn to confirm the rooms for the out-of-town guests coming in. She ran forgotten dress shoes to the mortuary in Hartford. She went to the church to give the organist a list of requested music. She received the casseroles and cakes from the neighbors, found places in the refrigerator for them, and then warmed them up and served them later to the family so that they didn't starve. She picked up the house, ran the sweeper, and did the dishes.
On most of the errands, she took the kids along. It got them out of the house and away from the gloom. She tried to include a treat for them at some point during their outings, to lift their spirits. Or maybe it was her own spirits she was lifting – she wasn't 100% sure about that. The kids were troupers; more resilient than she'd expected. Certainly more resilient than she was. As Reverend Skinner had predicted, they seemed to accept Will's death one day, but then they called for him to come play with them the next. They were as confused as everyone else by his abrupt exit.
On one of those in-between days, Mia pressed a credit card into Lorelai's hand and told her to take Liz into Hartford and find something nice for both of them to wear to the funeral. At first, it was kind of fun. Two young women, set loose in a mall with someone else's credit card. Until they remembered why they were shopping.
Nevertheless, they found success. Neither of them wanted a black suit. They wore black at their job; they didn't need more black hanging in their closets. They searched the racks for something classy but not funereal.
Liz tried on a pearl-gray pantsuit, with a pink floral satin shell to wear underneath the blazer.
"That's really good," Lorelai told her, as they stood together in front of the floor-length mirror.
"It is." Liz turned from side-to-side. "I look like a grown-up."
"Not a bad look on you."
Liz straightened the jacket. "It will take some getting used to."
Lorelai shrugged. "You don't have to wear it all the time. Just on those days when you need to feel like a grown-up."
"Like on Wednesday," she said, with a gloomy sigh.
"Yeah," Lorelai sadly agreed.
With Liz's outfit decided, Lorelai took an armful of choices into a dressing room. She tried on skirts and pants, and finally, a dress that she knew was completely out of the question. It was too vibrantly colored and looked too matronly on the hanger. She'd only picked it up because the feel of the silky material was too enticing to resist.
The dress cascaded over her head and swirled to a stop right above her knees. It fit her better than any piece of clothing she'd ever worn and whispered sinfully against her skin. She stared at herself in the mirror, unable to believe it was her own reflection she was seeing there.
She padded out of the cubicle in bare feet, looking for Liz, wanting to get her opinion.
"Wow, you look like a million bucks!" Liz stated.
"Don't you think it's too bright?" Lorelai worried. She analyzed the print in the mirror. The background was a deep blue, printed overall with an abstract purple flower. Each vibrant bloom was edged in white and accented with a single pink dot in the middle.
"Are you kidding? It's gorgeous, Lorelai. Look what it does to your eyes!"
"But is it appropriate?" She retied the belt around her trim waist and pulled on the three-quarter length sleeve. "The shoulder pads aren't too big, are they?"
"Everything about it is perfect. Face it, it's your dress. It was made for you."
"I do love it," she said, but she was still hesitant about buying it.
"Do you know who else would love it?" Liz paused for emphasis. "Dad."
"Then…I guess that settles it. I buy the dress."
"You buy the dress." Liz nodded as she continued to look at her friend's reflection. "You wear the hell out of that dress."
Liz needed shoes, but Lorelai thought she had a pair of navy pumps that would work with her dress. Next they went into the children's department, where Liz picked out a miniature three-piece suit for Jess.
"I want him to look nice," she murmured, feeling the fabric between her fingers.
"He'll probably hate it," Lorelai pointed out, "but he'll look adorable."
"A regular little man."
"To match his grown-up mommy."
"For one day."
"For one day," Lorelai agreed.
They made their purchases and started back home. As Lorelai carefully navigated the way back to Stars Hollow in Mia's car, she thought with satisfaction about the choices they'd made.
"I think we're all set, don't you?" she commented excitedly to Liz, still buzzing from a shopper's high.
"No," Liz said, in a small voice. She turned her head towards the window, trying to hide that she was crying again.
Lorelai's exuberance crashed. She reached a sympathetic hand over to Liz, ashamed that she'd lost sight of the backstory.
On the day of William Danes' funeral, all of Stars Hollow shut down.
Or at least, that was the way it seemed to Lorelai. Everyone she'd ever seen in town was crowded into the church to pay their respects to the well-loved owner of the hardware store. Surely there was no one left to run the businesses, let alone to patronize them.
Lorelai's navy pumps were running everywhere within the church. She greeted people and took them to sign the book of condolences. She found extra chairs. She even helped to arrange a last-minute flower delivery. She chased the kids between the pews and up and down the aisles, making sure that no matter what else she was doing, one eye was kept on them.
She was everywhere and did everything, except for taking a quiet moment in front of the casket. That was something she was trying very hard to avoid.
Then she turned around and saw that was precisely where Liz was. Her head appeared bowed in grief, and Lorelai knew she couldn't let her friend suffer alone. Her blue shoes reluctantly traveled to the front of the church.
"OK?" Lorelai whispered, tucking her arm around Liz's waist. Her eyes darted around in panic, not wanting to linger on the unnatural stillness contained right in front of her.
Liz showed Lorelai the picture she held. "My mom. And this is a piece of the ribbon from the bouquet Dad gave me on the nursery school night. I made a little bow out of it and glued it on. I thought Dad might like having this with him." She tucked the sweet memento underneath her father's hands.
And Lorelai, drawing upon her last reservoir of bravery, stood right there with her.
Liz leaned over to the spray of roses adorning the end of the casket and fluffed them a bit. "Mom loved yellow roses."
Lorelai had now heard this piece of information dozens of times over the last few days. "They're lovely, Liz."
"Hey, how's it going?" Rachel whispered behind them.
Lorelai glanced over her shoulder. She could see that Rachel was wearing a black sleeveless sweater and a black and white batik skirt, long enough to reach the leather espadrilles laced around her ankles. She wore a spectacular pendant made of pounded copper and large copper hoop earrings, finds collected on her travels. She looked exotic, but gorgeous and perfectly suitable, all at the same time.
Lorelai kind of hated her.
She turned around further, to say hello, and that's when she beheld Luke.
The shock of seeing him caused every molecule of oxygen to dissipate from her lungs. Her knees literally began to wobble, threatening to pitch her to the floor. If the tsunami from viewing his hunky self hadn't flooded out her ability to think, she would have been appalled by her visceral reaction to his physical presence.
While at his father's funeral.
While standing in front of his father's casket.
Man, she was going straight to hell.
She'd never denied that his good looks had made an impression on her from the first moment of their first meeting. She knew he was a handsome guy, but she'd grown used to the jeans and the flannel shirts, the scruff and the unkempt head of too-long hair. She'd also accepted that she more-than-liked him. She was willing to admit – at least to herself – that he had a sexiness she'd secretly like to explore. But she'd never before experienced the jolt to her senses that he delivered today.
Rachel had been in charge of getting him suited up for the funeral, and she'd done a damn fine job of it. He'd gone for the black, and on him, it was dynamite. He wore a shirt with gray stripes and a white collar, set off by a grayish-blue tie. His face was smooth, his hair trimmed into a neat style. A gold collar bar even peeked out from behind the tie. He was indeed all that and an entire carton of chips.
His face looked gaunt, but even that worked for him. Lorelai had barely seen him since she'd rocked him in her arms on the day of Will's death. He'd stayed down in the basement, or in the garage, or in his room as much as possible, only coming out when they'd begged him to eat something.
His eyes glanced by her, then came back and looked at her longer, meeting her gaze. He nodded at her, acknowledging her presence. Then he left Rachel's side and went to his sister, pulling her to him for a hug.
It was a rare occurrence, to see them in an unforced embrace. It was an emotional and moving sight, and the reason Lorelai told herself she couldn't quite seem to catch her breath.
To buy some time to calm her inappropriate reaction to Rachel's hot boyfriend, she looked out over the crowded sanctuary and spied a couple coming in through the doors. She gasped, losing the little bit of air she'd been able to stockpile again.
"No, no, no," she chanted, as she sped down the center aisle. She snatched up Rory and continued on to the entrance.
"Mom. Dad. What are you doing here?" she asked coolly, Rory slung on her hip.
"My dear girl." Richard gave her a solemn hug.
"We're here to pay our respects to a very kind man," Emily said, sounding slightly offended.
"We enjoyed Will's company very much, and we know you were fond of him," Richard expanded.
"Is there a reason we shouldn't be here?" Emily asked, still miffed at Lorelai's reaction.
"No, of course not." Lorelai tightened her grip on Rory and tried to recoup. "I was just surprised to see you, that's all."
"I'm sure his death came as a huge shock," Richard murmured, patting her arm. "How is the family taking it?"
"Like you say, it's a shock," Lorelai confirmed. "No one can really believe it yet."
After a slight pause, a smiling Emily held out her arms to Rory, and to Lorelai's surprise, Rory leaned over and allowed Emily to take her. "I thought that maybe we could help with Rory today, and that would free you up to be on hand for your friends."
"Help?" Lorelai frowned. "What do you mean, help?"
"I mean, she could sit with us during the ceremony." Emily tilted her purse open, so that Rory could peer inside. "I've got some Lifesavers, as well as some other treats. And some sort of fascinating pink compact toy, something called a Polly Pocket?"
Rory gasped, overcome with the riches inside her grandmother's bag.
Lorelai could see she'd been beaten. "Rory, is that OK? Do you want to sit with Grandma and Grandpa?"
Rory nodded and clung harder to Emily.
"Well…OK, then." Lorelai didn't know what to do with her arms, without Rory in them.
"We'll just sit back here," Emily said, pointing to a few empty seats. "Don't worry. We'll be fine. You just go where you're needed."
"Um, OK." She turned and took a few steps up the aisle, only to hear her mother call her name again.
Emily transferred Rory to Richard, then hurried to catch up to Lorelai. "This probably isn't the proper time to tell you this, but you look so lovely today."
"I do?" She looked down at the skirt of her dress.
"Stunning," Emily told her, not mincing words.
Lorelai relaxed, a rare thing while in her mother's presence. "I wasn't sure about it, you know? I was worried it was too busy for a funeral."
"For a young woman, I think it's very fitting." Emily again turned her critical eye over Lorelai's appearance. "It looks like it was made for you."
"That's just the way it felt when I tried it on." Lorelai couldn't believe she was confiding in her mother, the way she would to a friend. "I put it on, and it just felt so wonderful, I had to buy it."
Emily touched her arm, beaming. "Isn't that the most glorious feeling? When the dresses do the shopping for you?"
Lorelai nodded, shocked that there was a smile on her face, too.
"We'll see you after the service." Emily patted her arm one more time and then went back to join Richard and Rory.
Lorelai started up the aisle, still reeling from the one-two punch of unbelievably sexy Luke and the surprise of her parents just popping up from out of nowhere.
Just then, she saw Luke straighten up and glare at something behind her. He left his sister and Rachel and came storming down the aisle, almost the way she'd just confronted Emily and Richard. She turned, trying to see what had enraged him, and saw a man at the door who sort of reminded her of Will. He was taller, and broader, and had something of a beer-belly, but in some faded way he looked like Will.
Concerned, she turned and followed behind Luke. Rachel and Liz rushed down the aisle as well.
Luke marched up to the man. "I thought we had an agreement about this. I thought you were staying away."
"Luke, you know I can't stay away today."
Liz stepped around Lorelai and flung herself at the man. "Louie!"
"Lizzie, sweetheart!" He hugged her, then held her out at arms' length. "Look at you. All grown up."
Luke glowered at his uncle and bent his head closer to him. "Why are you here?"
"You know why I'm here, son."
"I am not your son!" Luke exploded.
Louie looked at him calmly. "He's my brother, kid. You really think I don't deserve a chance to tell my little brother goodbye?"
"Luke," Liz implored him, one arm still around her uncle.
Louie held out his hands. "Kid, I promise you, I'm sober. I haven't had a drink since –" He suddenly spotted Lorelai and looked her up and down, seemingly in approval. "Lorelai?"
She nodded.
"Since Lorelai here called me that morning. I promise you I will be on my best behavior. I will do nothing today to besmirch your father's golden memory."
Mia joined the tense group. "Louie," she said, pronouncing his name with a distinct chill.
"Mia," he said, her name coming out in a much warmer tone.
And then, abruptly, they were in each other's arms, sharing a heartfelt hug. When Mia stepped back, she was wiping her eyes.
"Fine. Stay." Luke practically spit the words out. "But I'm telling you, you do one thing to make this about you and not Dad, and I will personally roll your ass out of here."
"Luke!" Rachel said sharply, in warning. She tugged on his arm, urging him to walk away.
Oliver came up to them, looking uncertain. He put his hand on Liz's shoulder. "Sorry to interrupt, but it's time to get the service started, Reverend Skinner says."
"Fine," Luke said, a threat.
"Fine," Louie repeated, a promise.
The stressed group walked towards the front of the church, trying to get into a calmer, more worshipful frame of mind.
Liz grabbed Jess from where he was hiding beneath a large spray of red, white and blue flowers sent by the Stars Hollow reenactor's group.
"I can take him," Lorelai offered in a whisper.
"No, I want him with me," Liz said, and hugged Jess close to her.
"Oh, sure. Of course." Lorelai understood her need to have her child safe in her arms.
Luke and Liz sat in the middle of the front pew. Oliver sat next to Liz, his arm around her shoulders, offering whatever protection she needed. Rachel, of course, was next to Luke.
Mia and Lorelai sat behind them, and Louie quietly filed in beside Mia. Lorelai leaned forward and put her hand briefly on Liz's arm, just to let her know that she was there. If she needed her, she only had to turn around.
Then, she leaned back. She looked blindly at the program, the one she'd helped to put together. She heard the organist playing the music from the list she'd taken to him. And panic hit.
This was the first time she had nothing to do but sit and think. The first time that the enormity of what was happening hit her. The first time that she had no choice but to accept that Will was gone.
He was gone. She wasn't ever going to see him again. With each panicked second she became more alarmed that she couldn't handle knowing that.
Beside her, Mia stirred, reaching for her purse. Trying to stifle yet another bout of crying.
Thankfully, that gave Lorelai something to do. She found the tissues. She put her arm around Mia, cuddling her against her. Becoming as strong as Mia needed her to be. Mia looked at her gratefully, smiling lovingly through her tears.
The music stopped, and Rev. Skinner got up from a chair and approached the lectern.
In the pew ahead of them, Luke reached for Liz's hand and held on tight.
The service began. There were prayers and singing, interspersed with praise for the way Will had lived his life. They stood up and sat down multiple times. Lorelai thought it best not to pay too much attention to any of it, for fear of being pulled into such a whirlpool of grief that she wouldn't be able to fight her way out again.
Instead, she thought about laundry. Did Rory have something clean to wear tomorrow? Had she remembered to turn in her dirty uniform last week? Tomorrow she was supposed to work her normal shift, so she needed a uniform ready to go…
Reverend Skinner stepped up to the lectern again, with the kind smile she'd grown to appreciate so much. "At this time, we'd like to invite any of you to come forward, to share your memories of Will."
On the other side of Mia, Louie stood up and began to ease his way to the end of the pew. Hearing the rustle of movement, Luke turned his head. He leapt to his feet when he saw it was his uncle preparing to go up.
Other people also got to their feet when they comprehended what was happening: Mr. Doose, several of the men Will met with once a month to practice parading about with their muskets, and even quiet Mr. Dell. Miss Patty bustled out into the aisle, blocking Louie's progress.
"Louie, dear, maybe this isn't the time," she tried to persuade him, with a beguiling smile.
"It's OK, Patsy," he told her. "I got this."
Miss Patty searched his face, then went back to her seat.
The minister leaned forward when Louie got there, whispering something to him. Louie nodded and took his place at the microphone.
"Hi, folks. Most of you probably know me, but for those who don't, I'm Will's brother Louie. The black sheep of the family. And you know what, I was OK with that, mainly because Will was the nicest kid you'd ever meet. It was impossible not to love the guy. Teachers loved him. The neighbors loved him. Girls loved him. Katie loved him." Louie paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "I'll admit it – that one hurt. Mainly because I always thought that I'd find my own Katie someday, but I never did. Tried hard enough, but never found the real thing." He sighed. "Because what Will and Katie had was real, and true, and lasted through death and beyond. All of us here today are torn up about missing Will, but I guarantee you, there was a little piece of Will that's been looking forward to this day ever since Katie died. Not that he didn't want to be here for his kids, or that he didn't enjoy life to the fullest. He did. But you can't have a love like that and not miss it when it's gone. So as much as I'm grieving, I'm happy for Will, that he's together with Katie again. It's what he deserves."
Louie looked down at his hands, clasped together on the podium. "If you looked at our lives on paper, it might seem that I've had the better life. I made more money. I had the bigger house. I had more toys to play with. Geez – I even had three times the wives he did! But I tell you what, Will was by far the richer man. He found peace. He was content living here in Stars Hollow. He was satisfied running the store. He loved being a dad, and a grandfather, and keeping his friends close by. Even without adding Katie into the mix, he won. And I'm glad he did. Because he was the best little brother anybody ever had." His voice broke then, and he nodded, deciding he'd said enough. On the way back to his seat, several of the once-skeptical townspeople shook his hand or patted his arm as he passed by.
Mia leaned against him when he sat down next to her again and put her hand on his knee.
Lorelai sat frozen in place, scared to move. Scared to allow those heartfelt words to penetrate her defenses. Scared that if she thought about them too much, she'd never make it through the rest of the day.
Other people wanted to talk about their relationships with Will, once Louie had opened the gate. They talked about his honesty. About how generous he was. How he was always willing to extend credit to those who needed it. How he helped so many tradesmen start up businesses of their own. How he would take time away from the store to run deliveries out to building sites, when he knew customers were depending on them. And in general, what a wonderful man he was. How much they loved him. How much they were going to miss him.
Mia stood up.
Lorelai leaned towards her in alarm, grabbing her hand. "Mia?" she whispered.
"I want to do this," Mia told her quietly. "I need to do this."
Lorelai began to stand up, too. "Do you want me to –"
Louie got up and offered Mia his arm. "It's OK, Lorelai. I'll escort her."
"Mia?" Lorelai said, now even more concerned.
But Mia smiled at Louie. "Yes, that's fine. Thank you, Louie."
He walked her up the aisle, then waited respectfully off to the side while she spoke.
"I was years older than Katie. We met during the Thanksgiving festival, shortly after she moved here, when we both volunteered to put posters up in the businesses around the square. I adored her from the moment I met her. She quickly became the little sister I never had, and consequently, I was not pleased when this mere boy, William Danes, appeared in her life and took root there. But I soon learned I was wrong to worry about Will. He cared about Katie as much as I did. He cherished her, nurtured her, and pledged his life to making her happy. Over time, he became my good friend, too. As the years passed, we shared our losses together, which made them a little more bearable. Will made my life better in so many ways, whether it was just allowing me a place to vent and unwind or running over to the inn about a million times when I needed a second opinion about repairs. He was such a constant in my life. I'm going to miss him terribly, but I'm so grateful I had the opportunity to be his friend and watch his children grow up and thrive. I'm just sad that Stars Hollow won't shine as brightly without him here."
Louie brought her back to the pew, where Lorelai was waiting to welcome her. "That was lovely," Lorelai whispered to her.
Mia took a deep breath. "It was the truth."
Lorelai eased back into her space. She thought about the things she could say about Will Danes. The things she should say about the loving man who'd thrown her a lifeline when she'd needed it the most. But it turned out she wasn't brave enough to get up on her feet and say anything. Because speaking about those memories today would break her into at least a thousand pieces.
Eventually everyone had had their say, there were some ending songs and prayers, and then, mercifully, the service came to an end. Lorelai checked on Liz, then rushed back to where her parents were sitting.
"We noticed that there's a playground within walking distance," Richard said.
"If you'd like, we could take Rory over there and let her play, if you'd rather not take her to the cemetery," Emily suggested.
"Jess, too," Richard added.
"That part's hard enough without the children being there," Emily said with a knowing sigh.
Their offer stopped Lorelai in her tracks. "Well, I don't know. I hadn't even thought about it." She bent down to talk directly to Rory. "Would you like to take Grandma and Grandpa over to the playground?"
Rory nodded emphatically. "Play," she agreed. She took Emily's hand and began to tug.
"All right, wait just a minute." She motioned behind her. "Let me go check with Liz about Jess."
Liz was onboard. "This wiggle worm could certainly use the playground. And maybe…maybe it's better if I only have to take care of me during this next part."
So, Lorelai took Jess to her parents. He was perfectly OK holding Richard's hand and going off with them.
Lorelai accompanied them out to the church's front steps and pointed towards the playground. "Don't worry about them getting dirty, just let them play. I'll come get them when it's over." She pointed in a different direction. "The cemetery is just over there. Most of us will probably walk, it's so close."
"Take your time, Lorelai. Do what you need to do. We'll be fine." Richard gave her an understanding smile, and she watched as they walked away with their small charges.
At the gravesite, the mourners huddled together in small groups. Luke and Liz were still standing close together, their hands clasped, with their significant others on either side of them. Louie seemed to have taken over as Mia's guardian. Lorelai wasn't sure where she belonged.
"Sweetheart, how are you holding up?" Miss Patty put an arm around her.
"You just stand here with us, doll," Babette Dell said, squishing against her on the other side. "We'll take care of you." She looked around for her quiet husband. "Morey!" she yelled, waving her arm. "We're over here, sugar!"
Lorelai gave a tentative smile to Mr. Dell as he joined them. She didn't know either of them well, but she always thought that they were the perfect example of the 'opposites attract' truism.
Soon she was grateful that they were there, sharing their strength with her. The few graveside services she'd attended in her life had been for people she only knew as signatures on the bottom of Christmas cards. There'd been little connection between herself and the deceased. But this…this was different.
This was the final goodbye to a man she'd loved with her whole heart. She could barely stand the sadness of it. There was no way to escape what was happening in front of her. She wanted to run, to sprint over to the playground and pretend nothing terrible was occurring just a few blocks away. She wanted her daughter. She even wanted her mother. She wanted anyone who could block this hurt, no matter how briefly.
Then, from over the small hill on the east side of the cemetery, came the sound of a fife. And drums. The revolutionary war reenactors, down one man, crested the hill and marched solemnly towards the gravesite.
Normally, that was the sort of thing Lorelai would have delighted in mocking, but not today. She knew how much Will had enjoyed being a part of the group. He'd taken it seriously, so seriously that he'd asked to be buried with his musket. Instead of laughing, the off-tune fife and strangled blasts on the bugle made her desperate to let the tears flow, especially when she saw the stoic faces of the men in the uniforms, who were missing their friend so much. They stood at attention, in tribute to their fallen comrade.
The second the service was over, Lorelai thanked the ladies who'd literally held her up, then went over to tell Mia she'd be at the house as soon as she retrieved the kids. Although she ended up not running to the park, she did walk as fast as the pumps permitted.
"Here's your mommy," she heard Emily say to Rory.
"Mommy!" Rory called out, running to meet her. "Yay!"
As they walked back towards her parents, Jess ambled over to intercept them. "Lor'lai," he murmured, resting his head against her legs in a rare show of affection. The weight of the day had seeped into his toddler consciousness, too. Lorelai put her hand affectionately on his head, aching anew over their loss.
"Where's Mom?" he wanted to know.
"She'll be at the house when we get there," Lorelai assured him. "Are you ready to go?" she asked, and he nodded.
Emily handed her Jess's suit jacket and vest. "He had a wonderful time until just a few minutes ago. I think that's when he started missing his mother."
"It's that kind of day," Lorelai agreed. "A missing kind of day." She tried to shake off her melancholy. "There's a spread over at the house, and you'd be welcome to join us. Would you like to come?"
"We need to get back to Hartford, but thank you for asking," Emily said. "I've got garden club this afternoon."
"Thank you for coming," Lorelai said with feeling. "Having you here has been a huge help."
"I know this is a sad day, but helping out with Rory and Jess has been our pleasure, Lorelai." Richard put his own suit coat back on. "I know that we don't often see eye-to-eye, but please remember that we are around. If you ever need us, all you need to do is reach out to us. We will come."
"Sure, Dad," Lorelai murmured, not knowing how to react to that offer.
To further her confusion, her mother gave her an awkward hug. "And you do look stunning," Emily reminded her with a strained smile.
"Thanks, Mom. I…I appreciate everything. I really do."
With that, she looped Jess's discarded clothing over her arm, took a child in each hand, and walked them over to the Danes home.
Once back at the house, Lorelai felt better. Here there were children to watch and visitors who needed food and drink, or a place to sit, or another napkin. She helped Maisie and Buddy bring in the food they'd brought from Sniffy's, then provided comforting hugs to them when they each broke down in the kitchen. There was plenty for her to do. Soon she was busy enough that the grief of the day could be pushed aside.
Most of the time, anyway.
She was trying to disconnect the borrowed coffee percolator, to take it into the kitchen for a refill, when Louie stepped up to give her a hand. "Here, I'll do that," he said, hoisting the heavy machine into his arms. "In here?" he asked, motioning towards the other room. Lorelai nodded and he followed her.
She took off the top and removed the spent grounds, dumping them into the trash.
"I feel like I know you," Louie said, leaning back against the counter, watching her work.
"Do you now?" she asked doubtfully.
"Yeah, I do. Will and I talked a couple of times a month, and he mentioned you a lot. You'd become an important part of his life, I think. Like part of the family."
"This house felt like home to me, that's for sure."
"He called me, the night before he died. I guess he'd just taken you back to your place."
Lorelai froze, not wanting to think about that night. When they'd had fun. When everything was normal.
"He wanted to brag to me about Luke's grades."
Lorelai chuckled and was then able to move again. "That sounds like him."
"I guess that's why I had such a hard time believing it, when you called me the next morning. I'd just talked to him."
"I had the same problem," Lorelai said softly.
Rory and Jess burst into the kitchen, chasing each other. They ran to the back door, bounced off of it, circled around Lorelai, and then ran back to the living room.
"That's your little girl, isn't it?"
"Yeah, that's Rory."
"Will said she looked just like you, and now I can see for myself that's no lie." He came over and helped her fit the basket back into the percolator.
Lorelai moved back and regarded him. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure," he shrugged.
"What's the deal between you and Luke?"
He smiled faintly. "Easy to see we've got kind of a strained relationship, huh? Well…" He shifted on his feet. "The answer's fairly simple. I'm a drunk."
"Really?"
"Really. I usually stick a 'functioning' in there. Functioning drunk. Which means I function just fine when I'm not drinking. Like now, for example."
"So what does your drinking or not drinking have to do with Luke?"
"He's old enough to remember plenty of times when I wasn't functioning very much. Before I moved away, there were lots of terrible, destructive fights I started with Will. Fights where I said horrible, unforgivable things to him." Louie broke off for a moment. "Will eventually forgave me, though. Luke still hasn't."
"Oh." Lorelai felt herself staring at him and forced herself to look away, to busy herself with the coffee maker again. "Liz doesn't seem to hold any grudges against you."
"No, Lizzie sees herself as a black sheep, too. She thinks we're kindred spirits."
Lorelai sighed. Unfortunately, knowing Liz, that made perfect sense to her. "Do you want to patch things up with Luke?"
"Sure. We haven't seen each other much since I went to Florida. I was hoping that maybe we'd make a start while I'm here."
"Have you tried A.A.? Or thought about getting some kind of help?"
"Thought about it? Sure, lots of times. But the truth is, I kind of like things the way they are. I don't know that I've found anything to motivate me to change."
This time Lorelai held her gaze on him. "Except for a nephew who hates you."
"Touché," he said, tipping an imaginary hat her way. He chuckled. "Will said you didn't mince words."
"That's not always true," she sighed, and went to pick up the heavy coffee pot.
"I'll lug that in for you," Louie said. "But first…" He pulled out his wallet and took out a card, which he handed to her. "That's got my phone number on it. Just in case you'd ever want to get in touch with me."
"Um, OK," Lorelai said tentatively, fiddling with the card as she tried to figure out why he'd given it to her and what she was supposed to do with it.
"You're a good kid, and I know Will thought the world of you. I know he tried to watch out for you; wanted to help you anytime you'd let him. So if something should ever happen, something where you would have gone to Will for help, you call me instead." He shrugged. "I like thinking that I could step in for Will, at least a little bit. And I think he'd like knowing that I'm here to watch your back since he can't."
She smiled fleetingly at that. "Yeah, he probably would." Her purse and Rory's backpack were in Liz's room, so she tucked the card under the belt tied at her waist. "OK, if I ever find myself in need of help, I'll call you."
"Please do."
She smiled a little bit brighter. "Maybe it'd be OK if I called you just to say hi sometimes, too?"
At first he seemed astonished at her suggestion, but then he smiled, too. "That would be even better."
Much later in the day, as Lorelai tried to consolidate two platters of cookies into one, she felt someone grab her arm from behind.
"That's enough. Come take a break," Rachel said, pulling on her arm.
"No, I'll just –"
"You've done plenty. Now, come sit. Come over here."
As she followed Rachel to the couch, she noticed that the crowd had thinned out considerably. When she sat down, she couldn't stifle a groan.
"See? Feels good, doesn't it? Kick off your shoes, too."
Lorelai also followed that advice and gratefully rubbed her tired feet into the carpet.
"That a girl. Relax a minute. You've been nothing but a blur today. All week, actually."
"It's better being busy. I don't mind."
Rachel looked at her searchingly. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine," Lorelai insisted. She glanced at Rachel. "How about you?"
"Hanging in there." She looked around the room, then came back to Lorelai with a strained smile. "Sure not the way I thought this month would end."
"Not at all," Lorelai agreed.
Rachel nodded at the kitchen. "I saw you and Louie talking earlier."
"Yeah, I was curious about what the deal is with Luke."
"There are times when Luke doesn't hide his feelings, does he?" Rachel observed, with a lady-like snort. "What did Louie say?"
"He said he used to have drunken arguments with Will and that Luke's never forgiven him for some of the things he said."
"That's a fairly accurate summary."
"He seems nice," Lorelai ventured.
"Seems is the operative word." Rachel tugged at the pendant around her neck. "Truthfully, he's always behaved around me, but I heard all the stories that circulated through town, about what a hell-raiser he was. And Luke has no patience for him at all."
"Mia acted all sour about him, but then today, she seemed to want to be with him."
"They were friends, at one time, at least. And sometimes friendship takes all sorts of weird twists and turns. Especially on days like this."
"Hmm, true, I guess." Lorelai took the opportunity to lean back against the couch, letting her aching back relax against the cushions. Right before she allowed her eyes to briefly close, she registered Rachel sitting there in her perfect outfit, and as always, poised and confident.
"I kind of hate you." The words snuck out of her subconscious before she could squelch them.
"What?!" Rachel turned on her.
Lorelai sat up straight, rushing to explain away her what she'd said. "You're dressed perfectly, all the time. I mean, you have actual style. You always know what to say to everyone and what to do in every situation. You've got this amazing career. You've been everywhere. Even my parents are impressed with you." She took a breath, quickly editing out anything she could have added in about Luke. "Sometimes I'm just jealous because you've got it all figured out."
Rachel stared at her. "Jealous? Of me? Do you have any idea how I – OK. Let's just say that sometimes I'm jealous of you, too."
"Me?" Lorelai was flabbergasted. "Why in the world would you be jealous of me?"
"Because you've got four years ahead of you that I'll never get back," Rachel said grimly.
"I don't – I don't understand."
"I mean, there are choices…things I might have done differently, if I could get those years back. But it's all clear sailing for you still. You can go ahead without the mistakes."
Lorelai cocked an eyebrow at her. "You mean, like having a baby at 16?"
"OK, yes, but that's not –" She stopped, looking frustrated, then curious. "Do you see that as a mistake?"
"Getting pregnant? Of course. Having Rory? Not on your life."
Rachel nodded, satisfied. "And that's sort of what I mean. You've got Rory. That decision was made for you, practically. You can still go on, even as a mom, and do what you want to do, and not agonize over whether or not to have a family. There are no 'what ifs' about it. It's already done."
"But…but you've got plenty of time to have a baby, if you want to." Lorelai felt like she had yet to get a handle on this bizarre conversation. "Oh! Or is this because Luke wants to have kids?"
"Luke wants to have kids?" Rachel said blankly. Her expression turned sterner. "He told you that?"
Lorelai blinked rapidly, hearing the angry note in Rachel's voice. "He – he might have mentioned something like that. Once. You know, we were just talking, and –" She stopped the mindless babbling. "I'm sorry. Is that something I shouldn't know?"
"He told you that." She said it quietly, almost as if she was talking to herself. "To you, he says everything. To me, he keeps it all inside."
"That's because I'm just a pal, someone who's always underfoot. It doesn't mean anything if he says it to me. Maybe he's just more cautious about what he says to you, because it means more," Lorelai tried earnestly to explain.
"But shouldn't it be just the opposite?" Rachel asked painfully. Slowly, she brought her eyes up to meet Lorelai's.
They stared at each other for several long, hard moments, both sensing that if this conversation continued, they were going to uncover some truths that neither of them were ready to face.
"He thinks I'm annoying," Lorelai blurted out. "To him, I'm just another Liz."
Rachel studied her intensely for another moment, then, thankfully, went back to what they were talking about before the baby bombshell. "Anyway, you've got years ahead of you to decide what you really want to do; what classes to take; what you want to work toward. You'll decide where you want to live. It's your decision to get tied down with a guy or not. And because you've already done so much on your own, you'll probably make better choices. You'll see a clearer path. You'll be stronger." She nodded. "And yeah – I am jealous of that."
"Sorry, but it seems to me that the choices you've already made have been the best ones possible," Lorelai said hesitantly.
"Mmm," was all that Rachel replied. Then she stood up. "You stay there," she instructed Lorelai. "Take a break. I'm going to go tackle the cookie situation. Maybe eat the ones that won't fit on the plate."
"OK," Lorelai agreed, once again leaning back against the couch. But she didn't relax. She didn't dare let her guard down after almost admitting that what she envied Rachel for the most...was Luke.
Sitting down proved to be a mistake. Once Lorelai got up from the couch, she felt how exhausted she was. She had trouble focusing on any task. Most of the funeral guests had left, and she thought it was time for her to go, too.
She cleaned up a last few things and gathered her stuff. She said goodbye to those still mingling about. She found Liz, gave her a hug, and told her to call at any time. Mia had already left earlier. Luke, as always, had disappeared into one of his private hidey-holes.
Rory was so tuckered out that she didn't even fuss when Lorelai told her it was time to go home.
Out at the car, which Mia had allowed her to borrow from the inn, Lorelai struggled getting Rory into her seat. "Wow, kid, what happened? Did you grow that much bigger today?" she joked, not wanting Rory to see that she barely had the strength to hoist her up and into the seat. Rory giggled weakly, also tired out.
She clicked the buckle into place, then shut the door. She walked around the front of the car, and one of her heels caught a stray piece of gravel. She grasped the hood to catch herself, and then she leaned her arms against the car, suddenly very aware of just how depleted she was. She wondered if she should even be driving. But if she didn't do it, who would? She gulped down some of the cooler evening air and waited for her equilibrium to return. When she felt clear-headed again, she walked to the driver's side of the car.
"Lorelai, wait!"
She was surprised to see Luke striding across the street to get to her as quickly as he could. He'd taken off the jacket and tie, the vest was hanging open, and he'd rolled up his sleeves – which turned out to be another really good look on him. Again, she found herself short of breath and with knees that didn't want to do their job. She couldn't help but stare at him. She prayed her tongue stayed in her mouth because she didn't want the embarrassment of drooling in front of him.
"Hey, glad I caught you." He put his hands on her arms, as if he thought she was going to run away.
She merely nodded, finding that her usual surplus of words had completely deserted her.
"Listen…" He looked into her face and his eyes connected solidly with hers, in a way they hadn't since – well, since. "I know I haven't been with it for a while."
Again, she nodded. And felt his fingers kneading her upper arms. Smelled the aftershave he'd put on that morning. Took note of the skin visible on his chest, where the top two buttons of his shirt were undone.
She sensed herself leaning towards him, just the tiniest bit.
"I've been just sort of…gone, you know? In my own head," he continued. "But believe me, I know how much you've done. I know how much you've helped Liz. How much you helped…Well, how much you've been here for us. I know you've been here, taking care of us, the whole time. And I just wanted to make sure you knew that I - I knew that. Thank you. I don't think I can tell you thank you enough."
She put her hand flat against his chest. Felt his heart beating. Felt his warmth. She took her hand away before it could do anything else. "It's nothing, Luke. I would have gladly done a thousand times more if I could have."
One of his hands rose purposefully to the back of her head. Tenderly, he inched her face closer to him. Then he placed a kiss in the center of her forehead. He kept his lips pressed there for several long, powerful seconds before he pulled back and gazed at her seriously again. "He loved you, you know."
She was trembling all over. "And I loved him," she whispered.
He nodded, then looked at Rory in the car and glanced down the street. "You're OK to get home?"
"Sure. Of course. No problem," she bluffed.
"OK, then. See you tomorrow?"
"There's a pretty good chance of that, I suspect."
His hand slid down her arm to her hand, then to her fingers. He held them, even as he began to back away. "Later, then."
"'Night."
He waved and went across the street, back to the house.
In the car, Lorelai put her hands on the wheel, breathing shakily. She needed a minute or two to get back in control. To somehow put what had just happened into context. Not so much concerning what he had said or done, but how she had reacted to it.
"Mommy, let's go," Rory whined, kicking her heels against the seat.
"Right, right." She twisted the key in the ignition and then turned to give Rory a small smile. "Let's get home."
As she drove, the significance of that kiss to her forehead hit her. He'd kissed her in exactly the same way she'd kissed him, on that sad day up in Will's office. Meaning that he did remember that she'd been there with him after all.
Back in their cozy house, she got Rory ready for bed. She read her as many stories as she wanted. Finally she tucked her in, smoothed back her hair, and watched as her tired little girl snuggled away into dreamland.
She changed into shorts and a t-shirt, took the clip out of her hair and shook the curls free. She opened up the door to their small front porch. The light was almost all faded away, but the air still had some warmth in it. The promise of the coming summer.
Leaving the door open, she went to the refrigerator. She'd squirreled away an assortment of wine coolers from different functions held at the inn, just to have them on hand. Why, she didn't know. Just in case. And this night seemed like the perfect time to make use of one of them. She squinted at the label. Strawberry Colada. Sure, why not?
She returned to the tiny patio-like area, leaving the door ajar in case Rory called out for her. She sat down in the rocking chair Mia had placed there during their first summer in residence and looked out over the landscaped greens that served as her front yard. It was too early in the year for fireflies, but the evening stars were beginning to twinkle in the sky. She twisted the cap off the wine cooler and saluted the stars before she took a long drink.
And then, all alone, with nothing else to do, she began to cry.
The next morning, things seemed almost normal. Since she still had the keys to the borrowed car, she dropped Rory off at nursery school and then went to work. Liz had decided to take a few more days off. Lorelai got into her uniform and picked up the list of rooms to clean. The routine of fresh sheets and sink scrubbings soothed her into a sense of calm.
At one point, she heard the phone ringing in the room she'd just finished cleaning. Odd, she thought, since she knew those guests had checked out.
Then the phone in the room she was currently cleaning began to ring.
Hesitantly, she went to pick it up. "Room 211. Um, Lorelai speaking."
"Oh, Lorelai, good, I found you. It's Felicia at the front desk. Listen, I'm transferring a call to you."
"You're what?" But by then, Felicia was gone. The phone clicked as the transfer went through. "Uh, hello?"
"Is this Miss Gilmore?"
"Lorelai, yes."
"Oh, good! This is Dan Leonard. I'm Will Danes' lawyer."
"OK," Lorelai said, shrugging, not knowing why he'd want to call her.
"Would you be available to come to my office on Friday at 3:00? We're doing a reading of the will at that time."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"This Friday. Which is tomorrow, actually. Is 3 o'clock good for you?"
"I'm sorry. I really don't understand what you're talking about."
"Oh, no – I'm the one who's sorry. I guess I'm not making myself clear. It's traditional for the beneficiaries to be in attendance when the will is read."
"Beneficiaries?"
"Yes. Beneficiaries are people who have been –"
"I know what beneficiaries are," Lorelai said, cutting off his explanation. "I just don't understand what that has to do with me."
"Oh! Well, you are one."
"I'm…I'm a…What?" Stunned, Lorelai floundered for what to say next.
"I guess Will never said anything to you?" Mr. Leonard's voice took on a kind note.
"No," Lorelai said.
"He came in right after Christmas and made a small addition in his will that involves you and your daughter."
Oh, Will. Tears gathered in Lorelai's eyes. "I had no idea."
"Do you think you can make it tomorrow?"
"I'll check with my boss."
"If you can't, give me a call. Do you have someplace to write down my number?"
Lorelai grabbed the notepad and pen by the phone. "Yes, go ahead."
He gave her the number. "My office is above the drugstore. The stairs are on the outside of the building."
"Yes. Yes, I remember seeing your sign, now."
"Very good. I'll look forward to meeting you tomorrow."
"Thank you, yes. Me too."
She hung up the phone and then plopped down on the bed, not knowing what to think about the news she'd just received.
"You're sure you don't mind that I'm here?"
Luke rolled his eyes. Liz leaned over and grasped her hand. "Lorelai, for the one thousand, twelve hundred and thirteenth time, Luke and I are perfectly fine that you are here."
Lorelai nodded. "But you're sure that –"
"Lorelai! For crying out loud! We're fine with it! Dad obviously wanted you here. It's fine," Liz stressed.
She tried to shake off her nerves, but the awkwardness she felt in being included with the family persisted.
"Besides," Liz continued, "Luke and I have already decided that if Dad left everything to you, we're luring you out back to the alley and clobbering you with a baseball bat."
Luke frowned. "I thought we decided to go with piano wire."
"Nope. Baseball bat. That way you're the prime suspect."
He shrugged. "You should think twice about that, because I made sure your fingerprints are on the rug we brought along to hide the body in."
Lorelai glared at both of them. "I'm impressed you've given it so much thought."
"Doesn't hurt to be prepared." Liz grinned at her.
The door opened and Louie stepped in, hesitating when he saw them sitting there. "Hey, hi, kids. Mind if I join you?"
"If you're supposed to be here, you're supposed to be here," Luke said.
Lorelai shifted over on the loveseat where she was sitting, making room for him to join her there. He smiled at her, nodding his thanks.
Mr. Leonard peeked in from his office. "Good, you're all here. Why don't we get started?" He sat down at the desk and opened a folder, then passed out copies of the will to them. "If you're OK with it, rather than reading out the entire document, I'll just go over each of the bequests as they relate to you. You can stop me at any time if you have questions. Is that acceptable?"
They all nodded.
"Great, let's get started." He put on reading glasses and picked up the document. "Lucas Danes, Elizabeth Danes. Your father left his estate to the two of you. His business, his home, all of his other assets. You'll see in the copies I gave you that these are itemized. You'll also see that one of the accounts listed is a college fund for his grandson, Jess Mariano. The estate is instructed to add to the account each year until the child is of college age."
He then looked over the tops of his glasses at them. "He trusted that the two of you will be able to divide the holdings in an equitable fashion. In fact, he was quite adamant that he wanted the two of you to sit down together and figure it out. He believed that you would come up with a better solution than he could dictate."
Luke was already nodding. "We will, I promise. I'm OK with anything, but I want to make sure that Liz and Jess are well provided for."
"Luke, no. You're the one who's been here the whole time, helping Dad and everything. You should get a much bigger share than I do."
Mr. Leonard smiled. "I think your father knew just what he was doing. As you negotiate, if you run into a stumbling block or have any questions, feel free to contact me. If I can't guide you, I can direct to someone who can."
Luke was looking over the papers. He nodded, then took a deep breath. "Thanks. We might need some guidance, all right."
"Just give me a ring." His eyes moved down the legal document. "Next we come to Mr. Louis Danes, Will's brother."
"That's me," Louie muttered.
"Mr. Danes, you'll see that there's a personal message to you from Will. He says that he knows you're set financially, but there are some sentimental items that he wanted you to have. The first being a pocket watch that had belonged to your father."
"Luke can have that," Louie said, waving his hand at the lawyer.
Mr. Leonard looked up, surprised. "I understood that at the time of your father's death, there was quite a dispute over the watch."
"Yeah, well, that's old news now. I got over it. And now I say that it should go to Luke."
Luke leaned forward in his chair, to see over to where Louie was sitting. "If Dad wanted you to have the watch –"
"It was nice of your dad to want to make things right, but like I say, that's water under the bridge now. You should have it, Luke. And maybe someday you pass it down to Jess."
The lawyer tapped against his desk. "The final disbursement of the items is ultimately up to you. I'm just making you aware of Will's wishes."
"And it's appreciated," Louie said.
"He also wanted you to have a box of baseball cards and some other baseball memorabilia, including a catcher's mitt and ball that Will said would have a great deal of meaning to you."
Louie was looking at his copy of the will. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, it does. I'll gladly take those home with me."
"Good. Now, lastly, we come to the bequest concerning Lorelai V. Gilmore and the minor child, Lorelai L. Gilmore."
"Nuh-uh, no, that's wrong," Liz said, sliding to the edge of her seat. Beside her, Luke was nodding in agreement.
"What's incorrect?" Mr. Leonard asked, glancing down at his notes.
"That's Lorelai." Liz pointed at her friend. "But her little girl's name is Rory."
"Um, no." Lorelai shook her head at Liz and Luke. "Rory's real name is Lorelai."
"What?" Liz stared at her.
"Rory is Lorelai. Legally." When both Liz and Luke continued to look unconvinced, she went on. "I named her after me. I mean, men do it all the time, right? So I figured, why not?" Still under their scrutiny, she sighed. "Look, I'd had a lot of Demerol, OK? It made sense at the time."
"The name as stated in the will is correct, then? Lorelai L. Gilmore is your daughter's legal name?" The lawyer asked for confirmation.
"Yes, that's correct."
Liz leaned a little her way. "We are going to talk about this later," she whispered.
"Sure. Later," Lorelai whispered back.
"To continue, Will was concerned about future schooling for both you and your daughter. Until your daughter reaches secondary school, his wish is for his estate to pay for any tuition, textbooks, supplies, or transportation costs incurred in her education. In addition, his estate is also instructed to pay you a sum of two thousand, three hundred and –"
"Seventy-five dollars," Lorelai finished, stunned.
"Yes, that's correct. You will receive that amount each year for the five years subsequent to Mr. Danes' death."
"Oh, Will." Lorelai buried her face in her hands, fighting to keep in control.
"Sounds like that amount means something to you, sweetheart," Louie observed, patting her knee.
"It does." Lorelai raised her face, her lips quivering into a weak smile. "I told him one time that if I could just figure out a way to get my hands on that much extra money a year, I could start taking some business classes, because that's enough to cover tuition, extra babysitting – everything. I just never expected him to remember. Or to – you know – for him to think to put it in his will." She briefly pressed a hand across her mouth, again attempting to keep from crying. "That was mighty sneaky of him, doing it this way. I guess he found a way so I couldn't say no."
"That's Dad." Liz leaned out of her seat, far enough so she could give Lorelai her hand to squeeze.
"You meant a lot to him, Lorelai," Luke said gruffly, not looking at her. "Rory, too."
"You mean Lorelai, junior," Liz sniffed haughtily.
Luke grinned slightly. "Yeah, that's the one. Both of the Lorelais."
The meeting broke up shortly after that. They walked down the outside stairs to the alley beside the drugstore.
Louie looked around. "I think I'm going to walk through town a bit, say hi to some people. Would it be OK if I stopped by the house later on? I'm heading home tomorrow, but I'd like to see you two and Jess again before I go."
"Of course," Liz said warmly.
"Anytime," Luke mumbled, but it sounded sincere. "You need to get the baseball stuff, anyway. I'm pretty sure I know the box in Dad's closet where he kept it all."
Louie looked at Lorelai. "Will you be around?"
"Probably. Mrs. Dalton is watching the kids for us this afternoon, so I'll have to be there to get Rory. Might as well stick around for dinner."
Luke shrugged. "You could plan on dinner with us, too," he offered.
If Louie was surprised, he didn't show it. "Around six?"
"Yeah, that's good."
He glanced at his watch. "I'll plan on it, then." He nodded at them and walked out of the alley.
Luke checked his own watch. "That didn't take as long as I thought it might. Mrs. Dalton said she was OK keeping the kids until at least five, didn't she? Would you want to go get a drink or something, now that it's over?"
"A drink-drink?" Lorelai asked, confused.
He made a face at her. "Soda. Or coffee, if I know you. Anything, really. Just go someplace to talk for a bit."
"There's plenty of stuff at home," Liz pointed out.
"Yeah, but I don't feel like sitting at home more."
"Then, sure," Lorelai agreed.
"You want to go to Weston's?" Liz asked.
Luke gazed across the square, frowning. "No, I don't think so."
"That leaves Al's, and you hate Al's," Liz pointed out.
"Yeah, but what other choice do we have?"
"This town needs another place to eat," Liz observed, as they started walking down the street.
Since it was too late for lunch and too early for dinner, they had no trouble getting a table at Al's. Lorelai did order coffee, and a plate of fries they could share.
After the waitress took their order, Luke steepled his hands on the table. "I'm opening the store tomorrow," he announced.
"You're what?" Lorelai asked.
"Why?" Liz wondered.
"Why?" Luke scoffed. "So we can continue to eat."
"But why tomorrow?" Lorelai pressed.
"Why not? It needs to happen, and the sooner the better, before the customers forget about us."
"Luke, you don't have to do this," Liz told him frankly.
"Yes, I do." He met Liz's eyes. "Dad left us a thriving business. If we keep it going, we're set."
"But Luke…" She shook her head. "It's not what you want to do. Is it?"
He pressed his lips together. "That's not relevant now. What matters is that I know enough about the store that I can take it over. I know about inventory, and Dad's weird billing system, and how to order supplies. I understand how it all works. It would be nuts not to keep it going."
"Or…we could sell it, couldn't we? Divide the money up, and then you go do what you really want to."
Luke shook his head stubbornly. "Eventually, that might be what happens, if I can't make this work. But for now, I really think we should just keep on like normal. It seems crazy to me, to let go of an established business when we haven't even tried yet. Let's not change anything now. Let's see what happens."
Liz sat thoughtfully for a few quiet moments. "Is this because of me?"
"Is what because of you?"
"You're doing this to make sure that Jess and I aren't out on the street, or something. I mean, I appreciate it, Big Bro, but I can make my own way. You don't have to give up everything to make sure we're taken care of. I can work. I mean, more than I am now. I can help to pay the bills. You don't have to sacrifice everything to take care of us."
"That's not what I'm doing," Luke said sharply, but he also looked a little guilty.
The waitress brought over their drinks and the fries, so they stopped talking until she left again.
Lorelai tried to be the middleman. "I've heard people say that you shouldn't make any big changes for a least a year after a death," she said, aiming those words at Liz. "So it makes sense, to keep the store going for now. But Luke…" She turned to him. "What about your classes? What about your dream? You love to cook, and obviously everything you've accomplished so far at school and learned at Sniffy's has made you happy. How are you going to do that, too?"
"I'm not," he said bluntly. "This isn't the time for some pipe dream. This is the time for me to step up and take over for Dad. Maybe someday I'll go back to classes, but for now – right now – my place is at the store. We can't throw that away."
"I don't like that," Liz said.
"Me neither," Lorelai chimed in.
"Too bad."
"Why tomorrow?" Lorelai asked again, circling back to the first thing she'd asked.
"Because waiting longer isn't going to help anything. It's just going to give me more time to worry that I'm not going to be able to do this. More time for cold feet. It's better to just jump in." He took a swallow of the iced tea he'd ordered. "Besides, all of Dad's part-time staff are worried about their jobs. Most of them found the time to talk to me about it at the funeral. I told them we'd open back up as soon as we could."
"I can help," Liz said earnestly. "I could quit the Independence and work at the store. I can help you, Luke, really I can."
"I know you could. But for right now, let's just keep things the way they are. I'll get the store open. You work the hours you have been at the inn and take care of Jess. If things are rougher than what I expect, then, sure. We'll look at you coming to work there, too."
"I could help," Lorelai volunteered.
Both Luke and Liz looked at her in consternation.
"It's not a ridiculous thought," she countered. "I could learn the store stuff. I could come in to help for a few hours."
"You know, that's not a bad idea," Liz said, turning to Luke.
"Are you kidding me? What, she works full time at the inn, takes care of Rory, and somehow works a part time job too? Are you trying to kill her?" Luke demanded.
"No, I was just thinking that having Lorelai behind the counter would draw in all of the contractors within a hundred miles of here. Wait until the word got out about the babe in the hardware store. We'd have a line out the door."
"Hey!" Lorelai smacked Liz's arm. "I don't need you pimping me out."
Liz chuckled. "No pimping. Just suggesting that a little eye candy couldn't hurt."
"No eye candy. No…anything else, either. Unless things get really dire, Lorelai keeps her job at the inn. And you do, too," Luke repeated, pointing at Liz. "This is going to be my thing."
"I still don't like it," Liz grumbled.
"I don't either," Lorelai agreed.
"I don't care. It's decided."
They sat and half-heartedly ate the rapidly cooling fries.
"So…it's Lorelai, huh?" Liz said.
"What?" Lorelai frowned, confused by what Liz had just said. "What's me?"
"Rory's name is Lorelai?"
She nodded. "Yeah, it is."
"So how did that happen?"
Luke sat back in his chair. "Yeah, I want to hear about this, too."
"OK." Lorelai finished off her fries, took a good gulp of coffee, and got comfortable. "You know, some people say that giving birth is a miraculous process, but for me, it was more like doing the splits over a keg of dynamite…"
"Oh, geez," Luke groaned, and hid his face in his hands. "Why did I even ask?"
Author's Chat: For those of you who weren't a child of the 80s – or raising children during the 80s, as I was – the title of this chapter comes from a song in "An American Tail," an animated film about a little mouse named Fievel. There's something about that song that hits me in the feels like nothing else. Every time my children watched it, and that song came on, I had to go find something to do in the kitchen so they wouldn't see Mommy losing it. (If you really want to rip your heart out, listen to Linda Ronstadt's duet of it.) As soon as I started to envision this chapter, that was the song I heard, especially as Lorelai sits alone in her grief, watching the evening stars come out.
I know that these last two chapters haven't been easy to read. (Or write.) Thanks so much for sticking with me as we continue on through the early years of the Danes-Gilmore friendship.