May 2011

Sydney's POV

"You ready?" Carlisle asked.

I nodded. "Shorter cast this time, right?"

Carlisle chuckled. "That's still the plan."

"Good, because this type of cast sucks." It didn't matter if it wasn't my writing arm. It was still two weeks of awkwardly trying to put on shirts and do my hair. The only thing I sort of regretted was that Angela and Jessica had drawn on it and now it was getting cut off. Jessica had drawn a dog with a mustache, while Angela had drawn a bunch of flowers.

"I know, I'm sorry about that."

I wasn't sure why he was apologizing. But I didn't say anything because Carlisle started the saw and it was loud. I made a face at my mom and put a steady hand on my back. He cut through my cast and gently broke it open. My arm felt weird without the weight and my wrist still had deep purple bruises.

"Ew," I said.

"It won't always look like that," Carlisle assured me. He gestured with the cast. "Do you want to keep this or no?"

"Nah."

Carlisle smiled. "Okay, into the trash then," he said as he chucked it in the bin. "I'll go see if x-ray is ready for you."

It still hurt to have to rotate my wrist for the x-ray like the tech told me but at least it was quick. Soon enough, I was back in the room looking that images on the whiteboard.

"Your x-rays look good," Carlisle said. "You're healing up nicely."

"It just looks like a fuzzy line now." I remembered how I could see a crack in my bone the last time. It was really weird and cool to see my bones.

"It's where new bone is growing," Mom said. She nudged my shoulder. "You remember what that bone is called?"

"Radius," I answered.

Carlisle glanced at Mom with a smile and then pointed to the bone opposite of the radius. "What about this one?"

"Ulna. And then it's the carpals, metacarpals, and phalanges," I said, naming the rest of the bones I could see on my x-ray. Mom taught me.

Mom ran a hand over my hair, smiling proudly. "She was my little study buddy."

"Sounds like she made an excellent study buddy. Maybe she should take over for you," Carlisle said with a wink and Mom laughed.

I ducked my head at the praise. I remembered sharing snacks with Mom and drawing on scrap paper she gave me while she poured over books. Sometimes she took me to class with her and I thought it was fun that the two of us were in school at the same time.

"Let's get the new cast on. Do you want purple again or a different color?" Carlisle asked.

"Purple's cool."

As Carlisle was wrapping my wrist in the new cast, I noticed he has the same cold hands as Esme. He had the same golden eyes too. I couldn't decide if it was weird or not. Some people had the same eye color, but still. I've never seen anyone have gold eyes like theirs.

"So, did you know all the carpal bones have names too?" Carlisle asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Uh, no?"

"I may have left them out," Mom said.

Carlisle raised his eyebrows. "Really? That's not like you. You're usually very thorough."

Mom shrugged. "I didn't want to overload her."

"That's fair."

I hoped they weren't going to bring the names up and then not tell me. "What are they?"

Carlisle looked at Mom, but Mom gestured at him. "Trapezium, trapezoid, scaphoid, capitate, hamate, lunate, triquetral, and pisiform," he listed.

"Trapezium and trapezoid…that's confusing." How did anyone remember that?"

"And then there's the trapezius, but that's a muscle," Mom added.

"Did they run out of names?" I would have named them all differently.

Carlisle laughed. "Blame it all on the Greek and Latin roots." He put the finishing touches on my cast. "You are good to go. That should stay on another four weeks and then you'll be out of it. You might have to wear a brace after that, but we'll see when the time comes."

"Cool," I said and rotated my arm around, grateful to be able to bend my elbow again.

The next week, Mom and I were up in Port Angeles to get out of the house for a bit. It felt a little strange to be without Esme. She told us she had to be out of town this weekend. I knew she wouldn't be gone long and I would see her again soon, but I missed her and I think Mom did too. She felt like family and made us feel like we belonged here.

"Can we stop by the library? I need something new to read," I said. We finally had a library card so we could check stuff out now. I finished Anne of Green Gables days ago and I was not in the mood to reread any of the other books I had.

After we wandered around the library and check out a stack of books, Mom said, "I'm craving some ice cream. What about you?"

I grinned. "Funny, so am I."

We stopped by a local ice cream shop. I didn't get my usual favorite flavor – chocolate chip cookie dough – because it was also Dad's favorite. I got mint chocolate cone instead, while Mom got blackberry in a bowl and we sat together on a bench outside the shop.

"Summer's coming up soon. What do you think you want to do?" Mom asked after a while.

"I don't know." Usually summers meant a big family camping trip somewhere with my aunts and uncles and cousins, but obviously that wouldn't be happening this year. Last year's trip was fun, if I ignored the stony silence between Mom and Dad the entire time.

Mom stirred her ice cream. "I saw they have a gym here. Would you like to get back into gymnastics?"

I'd been missing gymnastics a lot lately. "Yes! Only –"

"Only what?"

"I didn't bring any of my leotards. Or my grips." I didn't think to pack them the day we left.

Mom shrugged. "We'll get you new ones. It's not a big deal."

"Are you sure?" It seemed like a big deal to me.

"Yes, I'm sure." She eyed my ice cream cone. "Can I have a bite of yours?"

"If I can have one of yours," I said.

"You drive a hard bargain, Syd."

"Not hard, just fair."

We traded ice cream bites, laughing, and then her face became serious. "What is it, Mom?"

She didn't answer right away and she stared at my cast. "Everything I do is for you, peanut. But I'm realizing I have failed you in a lot of ways and I'm so sorry for that." Her voice shook and she looked away, dabbing with a finger under one eye.

I shifted uncomfortably. It was a strange thing to see Mom cry, even if she always did her best to hide it from me.

"I've been thinking about us being in this together but now I know you have your own experiences with Dad that I didn't have. I hope you'll tell me more about them." Mom shrugged, an uncertain smile on her face. "When you're ready?"

I stared at the grass, not knowing what to feel. But I wasn't sure I liked her blaming herself. I was the one that didn't say anything about Dad.

I leaned into her side and wrapped my arms around her. "I love you."

"I love you too," Mom whispered into my hair.

Esme returned and the week passed with our usual routine. As Memorial Day weekend came closer, we planned a day trip to Seattle. Mom and I hadn't had much of a chance to see the city before and Esme thought it would be good for us to get out. We left early on Saturday and it turned out to be a beautiful sunny day. One of the first things we did when we got to the city was go on the Seattle Great Wheel.

"This is even higher up close." Mom tipped her head back to look at the top. She really didn't like heights. "So this is how I die."

It really was much taller when you got up close to it. The only Ferris wheels I'd ever been on were the kinds found at carnivals.

"We don't have to go on," Esme said.

"No, no. I'm going with you guys. Just let me have my gallows humor about it, Esme."

Esme laughed, squeezing Mom's arm. "I wouldn't have you do something where you could die."

"I know."

The cars were mostly glass so you could look out over the city and the bay. As our car slowly went up, I saw ferries on the water and the distant mountains and the Space Needle. I thought it was really cool up here, like nothing could touch us.

"Why is it stopping? I don't like this," Mom muttered when our car drifted to a halt.

"Nothing's wrong. It's so you can enjoy the view," Esme assured her.

"I could enjoy the view just fine on the ground."

"You're doing great, Mom," I said, patting her leg.

"Thanks, peanut."

Esme lifted her phone. "Can I get a picture of you two?"

I scooted closer to Mom and Esme snapped a photo. "Come take some with us," I said, waving her over to our side of the car. A look passed over Esme's face, like she it surprised her she'd be wanted in a picture with us. She settled in beside me and held out her phone so the three of us were in frame. We spent the rest of the ride taking pictures of ourselves, including goofy ones, and that effectively distracted Mom from her nerves.

"You'll send me some of those, right?" Mom asked.

"Of course," Esme said.

"Esme!" someone called as we got off.

It was a tall, muscular guy with dark curly hair. He was accompanied by a very pretty girl and another guy, both of whom had blond hair. They looked like twins. Esme laughed when she saw them and the tall guy caught her up in a big hug. I pressed closer to Mom, watching the newcomers shyly.

"What are you doing here?" Esme asked, giving the other two hugs as well.

"We were in the neighborhood," the girl said.

"Felt too cooped up studying for exams," the dark haired guy said. "We wanted to finally meet your friends."

Esme waved at us to join them.

"Is this the famous Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper?" Mom asked.

"Oh no, what has Carlisle told you?" Emmett said with a laugh.

"Only that sometimes he swears you're going to give him gray hair."

Emmett waved that away with a roll of his eyes. "He exaggerates."

Rosalie shook her head. "Actually, he doesn't."

"Babe!"

I hung back, watching them talk with Esme and Mom. All of them had the same golden eyes and pale features as Esme and Carlisle. Now, for Rosalie and Jasper, it made sense. They were Carlisle's siblings. But for Esme and Emmett…

I wasn't sure why it bothered me so much. So what if they had strange colored eyes? They were good to me and Mom.

Jasper hung back, hands in his pockets. He seemed like me, on the awkward edge of the conversation. He met my eyes and gave me a little wave. I waved back, embarrassed he caught me staring, and then wandered over to the edge of the pier. I leaned my elbows on the rail, mesmerized by the way the sunlight sparkled and dance on the water. I'd seen paintings of the ocean where the artist somehow managed to capture the light and the motion of the water. I wondered if I would be able to do the same someday.

"Hey, kid."

I jumped when Emmett joined me at the rail. He moved so quietly I didn't even hear him come up. His height made him seem intimidating at first glance, but he flashed me an easy smile. It made a dimple pop out in his cheek and somehow, I knew I would be safe around him. "Hi."

Emmett tipped his head toward the bay. "You know how the ocean says hello?"

I squinted up at him. Was he trying to make a joke? "It waves?"

"So you've heard that one before," Emmett said with a wink.

Hasn't everyone heard that joke? It wasn't very original.

"Guess I'll have to find one you don't know," Emmett continued, not bothered by my silence.

"Maybe one that doesn't come on a popsicle stick," I finally said.

Emmett let out a loud, booming laugh. "Challenge accepted." He glanced back at the others. "So we're going to the aquarium next?"

"You're coming too?" I didn't know that was part of the plan.

"Do you mind us crashing your party?"

He seemed fun to be around, so I shook my head.

Emmett held out his hand for a high five. "Good, because I know a lot of shark facts." I shyly returned his high five.

His hand was cold too.

It was a short walk over to the aquarium from the Great Wheel. Rosalie hung out with Esme and Mom, while Emmett took me around the aquarium with Jasper. He wasn't lying about knowing a lot of shark facts, like he knew that the dogfish swimming around the tank were venomous. But it wasn't only sharks. He knew a lot about everything, pointing out different fish to me.

He also said some weird stuff.

As we were looking at the seals, he said, "That seal looked at me funny. I'm gonna eat him."

Jasper sighed. "Don't eat the seal, Emmett," he said in a low, weary voice.

"No, I'm gonna."

"Emmett." Jasper shot a meaningful look at me.

I blinked and drifted back to Mom, Esme, and Rosalie. Maybe I wasn't supposed to hear that? Esme and Rosalie looked mildly exasperated like they heard what Emmett said too. We continued wandering the aquarium and I almost wished I had something to draw on. There were so many fish with different colors and patterns.

I was close to Emmett and Jasper again around the tanks with the jellyfish.

"Imagine that, jellyfish have been around for 500 million years and they don't even have brains," Emmett said, tapping gently on the glass where a moon jelly floated languidly.

"You don't have brains either," Jasper muttered.

"You are in a mood, Jazzman."

"I'm not. Everyone else is."

"Excuses, excuses," Emmett chided, but eyed Jasper critically. Jasper did seem uncomfortable for some reason. "Need some air or are you good?"

"Some air would be nice."

"Okay, bro." Emmett turned back to the moon jellies and did finger guns at them. "Rock on, you funky little cnidarians. I love you!" With that, they disappeared into the crowd faster than I would have thought.

That was strange, but I hoped Jasper was okay.

"My boyfriend's kind of weird, isn't he?"

I jumped, not noticing Rosalie come up beside me. That was the second time that happened today. "Uh. Yeah, kind of."

Rosalie smiled down at me. "He gets easily excited about things." She gestured over her shoulder with her thumb. "I think your mom and Esme are in the gift shop. Want to go look?"

"Sure."

We spent some time perusing the shop before leaving. Outside, Emmett and Jasper waited on a bench for us. Emmett was looking at something on his phone, while Jasper ate a pack of gummy worms.

"Are you okay?" I asked Jasper.

He looked shocked and puzzled, like he didn't know why I would be asking him that. "Yeah. I'm fine." He handed me the gummy worms. "Want the rest? I'm all sugared out."

"Thanks." They were the sour kind, which were my favorite.

"Hey, Sydney," Emmett said. "Why do seagulls fly over the sea?"

I sighed. "Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels."

Emmett actually looked disappointed. "Dang."

"Womp womp," Jasper said, smirking.

"Shut up."

After the aquarium, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper said goodbye. Esme, Mom, and I spent the rest of the time touring around the city. I suggested we should go up the Space Needle just to tease Mom, knowing there was no way she would go after the Great Wheel.

Mom narrowed her eyes at me playfully. "Very funny, peanut."

We did get our picture taken in front of it, however.

By the time evening came, I was getting tired and we decided to head home. Esme had barely pulled onto the freeway before I fell asleep.

AN: and then it's time for the angst...

Thank you for reading and reviewing! see you soon...