"It's a deadly dull, like a sword stuck in its sheath. A mind once sharp and full, now clouded and diseased.
What's it like to be erased every time you fall asleep? Waking up as a clean slate
without a sense of reality?" Deadly Dull, Movements
Xx
Aang doesn't wake up for three weeks.
In those three weeks, Katara, Sokka, and Toph met up with Hakoda and his warriors, and some of Jet's freedom fighters (breaking the news to them about Jet was harder than Katara ever imagined it could be). The rag tag group had captured a Fire Navy ship that would allow them to travel unrestricted throughout the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation, and had begun to put in place a plan for the day of black sun invasion.
But Katara's heart was miles away, stuck in a cave lit by glowing green lights. In those three weeks, she thought about Zuko more than anything else, except for Aang. He sacrificed himself for us, so that we could get away. She held in her tears through each day, only letting herself cry up on the deck under the glow of the moon. She tried to imagine Yue there to comfort her, rubbing circles on her back and telling her that everything would be okay. She prayed incessantly to her, begging and pleading with her to protect Zuko, to keep him safe. Soon after leaving Ba Sing Se, that strange tugging sensation Katara had almost gotten used to had dulled considerably, and she couldn't help but fear the worst. When anyone else asked why she was upset, she told them she was worried about Aang, which of course was true. She checked on him multiple times a day, but there was nothing else she could do to help him recover. Her brother and Toph, however, knew there was another layer to her sorrow and constant anxiety. But, she managed to pull herself together enough each day to help with the invasion plans; if they were lucky, they could find Zuko during the invasion, and then… what then?
When Aang finally woke up, her mood increased significantly, but there was still an undercurrent of sadness flowing around her all the time. Aang had been so upset when he had realized what happened in the crystal catacombs; he felt like he had truly failed the world, once again, and had run off one night in his anger. They had almost lost him again that day; he told them he got caught in a massive storm, and the only reason why he had lived was because Avatar Roku had saved him. He hated the fact that the world believed him dead, and Katara could understand his frustration and guilt. He also apologized to her privately about what had become of Zuko and Iroh, causing her to break down once again.
"We'll find them Katara." He had held her as she cried, determination clear in his voice as he spoke to her. "We'll do whatever it takes."
She, Aang, Sokka, and Toph had split up from the main group, planning to reunite with the rest of them on the day of the eclipse. They were officially fugitives, meaning that they had to travel under artificial cloud cover to get to their current location. They had decided as a group that dressing in Fire Nation styled clothing would be the best and most practical way to stay under the radar. They had stolen some clothes from an unsuspecting citizen's clothesline, and Katara had to admit that she liked the style of her new outfit, even if seeing red everywhere kept reminding her of Zuko, who could be dead at the hands of Azula for all they knew. Don't think like that. Just stay positive.
The town they find themselves in is cute and quiet, and they're blending in well when Aang isn't spewing 100 year old Fire Nation "slang" at everyone who passes by. Katara is fairly certain that "hotman" probably hasn't been in style for at least fifty years. They had decided to get some food, and Aang had wandered off in search of some vegetarian fare, but he never ended up meeting up with them. Katara and Sokka paced nervously around the cave they were sleeping in all day, practically wearing a track in the ground where they kept walking back and forth. Toph was under the impression that Aang was fine ("he probably just ran off to play with some animals or something"), and when he strolled lazily back into the cave around dinner time, Katara and Sokka were ready to burst with frustration.
"Where have you been?!" Katara's voice is embarrassingly close to a screech, and Aang shrinks back.
"We've looked everywhere for you! You could have gotten captured!" She feels better when Sokka backs her up, his voice dangerously close to a screech as well.
"Sorry guys!" Aang smiles, rubbing the back of his neck, "I got invited to hang out with some kids after school—"
"School?!" She and her brother yell at the same time, creating a funny mom-and-dad effect with their scolding.
"Yeah!" Aang looks to Toph for reassurance, but she just silently puts her hands up in the air in a mock surrender. "It's the best place for me to learn about the Fire Nation! And I'm going back tomorrow."
"Uhg!" Sokka slaps his forehead in frustration. "Aang, no offense, but that's a terrible idea. We're supposed to be flying under the radar! You know, because everyone thinks you're dead!" Aang's face turns sour before he gets a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
"Well, I guess we'll never learn about the secret river, then." Sokka raises a brow, clearly interested. "Apparently there's a secret river that goes right into the Fire Lord's Palace, and they're supposed to be teaching us about it in school tomorrow. But, if you don't want me going back…" he trails off as he shrugs, his face open and innocent.
"Well..." Sokka rubs his chin in contemplation. "A secret river does sound useful. Alright, I guess we can stay another few days."
Xx
The second day they're in the town, Aang comes back from school with a guilty look on his face.
"So," he starts, as Katara and Sokka look over at him in the entryway of the cave. "I kind of got in trouble at school and need to bring my parents in for a meeting later." Katara and Sokka's mouth hang open in shock as Toph starts laughing.
"Oh, that's rich Twinkletoes!" She walks over and slaps Aang hard on the back, causing him to lose his balance, and he smiles at her as he rights himself. "What did you do? Start dancing in class? Cause a fight?"
Aang gives her a lopsided smile. "Both, actually. Well, I didn't start the fight, but—"
"No way!" Toph genuinely looks ecstatic at the idea of Aang getting into a fight, and Katara can't understand it for the life of her. "I hope you kicked his ass!"
"Well—" Aang starts to answer Toph before Katara cuts him off.
"Um, hello!?" She waves her hand in front of Aang's face. "We're talking about how you need to bring your nonexistent parents in for a meeting, not about why you got in trouble! And you," she points at Toph, her milky green eyes rolling as she crosses her arms. "You shouldn't be encouraging him!"
"Gee, sorry mom." Toph blows a piece of hair out of her face. "Maybe you should go to the meeting, you sound enough like his mom to pull it off."
"That's it!" Sokka butts in, his finger up in the air and an excited look on his face, and Katara knows that she's going to hate what comes out of his mouth next.
Xx
"Wang. Wang Fire." Sokka has lowered his voice and made a beard and mustache out of Appa's fur to play the role of Wang Fire, Aang's (or Kuzon's) dad. "And this is my wife, Sapphire Fire."
"A pleasure to meet you." Katara does her best to not break out into laughter and get into her role. Her shirt is stuffed to make her look pregnant, and she tries her hardest to exude "mom vibes," as Toph had called them.
"Thank you for meeting me, Mr. and Mrs… Fire." The headmaster doesn't look very fooled, but it's not like he can say anything. "Kuzon has only been in class for two days, and already he is being disruptive and getting in fights."
Katara gasps dramatically, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. "That doesn't sound like our Kuzon!"
"I believe that is what any mother would say, Mrs. Fire. Rest assured that if Kuzon acts up again, I'll have him sent straight to reform school." He stands up behind his oak desk, marking the end of the conversation. "And by reform school, I mean the coal mines. Do we have an understanding?"
"Oh, yes." Sokka shoots an angry look at Aang. "Once we get home I'm going to teach this young man a lesson he won't forget!" The headmaster smiles before exiting the room, and the trio breathe a sigh of relief.
When they get back to the cave, Katara immediately rips the stuffing out of her dress. The Fire Nation is so hot, she doesn't know how actual pregnant women can handle it.
"That's it young man!" Sokka strokes his fake beard as he leans toward Aang, his voice still extra deep. "No more school for you!"
"Come on, Sokka!" Aang looks so upset, a twinge of sadness flowing through Katara at the sight. "My classmates are so sheltered, they don't know anything about their culture!"
"What can we even do about that, Aang?" Katara feels for him, she really does, but there's no way they can help these kids.
"We can always do something!" He looks at her with a glint in his eyes that screams trouble. "We're going to throw them a dance party!" He throws his arms in the air, clearly expecting some excitement, only to be met with silence.
"A dance party?" Toph asks, her brows raised and invisible under her bangs.
"Yeah! I'll get us some instruments and we can teach them to dance! I know some really cool Fire Nation moves from back when I was friends with Kuzon!" His tongue sticks out of the corner of his mouth and he does a strange swinging motion with his arms.
"Listen, Aang—"
"Guys," he interrupts Katara, all the silliness gone from his voice. "Please. After this we can leave. I just… I need to do something for these people." His eyes are wide and wet, pulling on Katara's heart strings.
"Fine." Sokka gives in. "But after that, we really are leaving."
Xx
The next night, they have the cave set up for the dance party. As Aang's classmates start filling the space, Katara notices that they're all just standing around, looking sheepish and awkward. Even as some of the others start playing their instruments, nobody moves.
"Why isn't anyone dancing?" Aang asks the group.
"Well…" one of the girls near the front of the crowd speaks up, "we don't know how to dance."
"Oh, it's easy!" Aang motions to his classmates playing their instruments to strike up a lively tune. "Here, I'll show you!"
Aang takes the hand of a pretty girl and starts dancing, slowly coaxing her to join in with him. Soon, other people start dancing too, and in no time at all the cave is full of music and laughter. Katara is glad that Aang is having a good time; he deserves a break after everything that he's been through the past few weeks. As happy as she is for him, however, her heart is heavy in her chest, a weight dragging her down any time she stops to think. Her thoughts always wander to Zuko; what could Azula have done to him? She misses the odd tugging in her chest, her way of knowing that her connection to Zuko is still real. It's still there, but it's pitifully weak, and if she tries to concentrate on it, it almost stutters. The sensation is all wrong and sends a shiver up her spine. Their connection had never shuddered like this, had never felt like it could fade away at any moment, like it was on the verge of snapping in a stiff breeze. She had to force herself to come back to the present so that she wouldn't cry.
"He's the one I want!" The headmaster's voice rings loud in the cave. "The boy with the headband!"
The music has stopped, and none of the school kids are dancing anymore. Katara shoots a look at Sokka, who nods silently. The group of Aang's classmates push in close around the headmaster and the soldiers he had brought along, clearly frustrating and confusing them as a diversion. Aang comes stumbling out of the crowd, and the gang heads to the back of the cave to escape. Toph and Aang earthbend the wall down, and they all climb onto a waiting Appa. The wall slides back up behind them, but not before Katara catches a glimpse of one of Aang's classmates staring at them with his mouth hanging open, and a small smile spreads across her face.
Xx
He sits in a chair in a dark room. It's completely silent; no noise or light filter through the solid stone walls. It's cold. The freezing air penetrates his skin down to his bones, ice in his veins crawling into his heart. An ethereal voice whispers in his ear, "I must capture the Avatar..."
"No!" He struggles against the bonds that hold his arms and legs down. "I won't! You can't make me!"
His chest heaves under his labored breaths and a sharp pain grows behind his eyes as he feels the room getting smaller. The voice comes back.
"...to restore my honor..."
He lets out a feral scream, his head tilting back and hitting something solid with a strong enough force to make his ears start ringing. He gasps for air as a leathery snake winds itself around his head, holding it tight to the solid mass behind him. Tears begin to fall from his right eye, his breaths getting shorter and sharper each moment. The darkness is so deep, his eyes are having trouble focusing; the only light comes from a spotlight above him that lights up nothing but him and the chair he sits in. The pain behind his eyes flares, a short scream ripping from his throat as his pounding heart beats ferociously beneath his ribs. He can taste blood in his mouth, the metallic tang coating his tongue as he grinds his teeth. With each breath in, the restraint around his chest gets tighter, but he can't stop hyperventilating, terror flooding his senses. It constricts around him; he can feel it breaking one of the ribs close to his heart, his vision fading as he pants, too weak to fight anymore. The voice comes back, whispering in his ear as a dim light swings around him.
"I must capture the Avatar…"
Xx
"The Avatar and his friends haven't been seen since the ambush at Cameleon Bay." Mai's monotone voice comes from behind him as he stares at the map on the table.
"How is it that they can always get away?" Zuko throws his hands up in frustration and turns around to meet Mai's stoic face. "I mean, they travel on a giant flying bison, for fuck's sake! Somebody has got to have seen them somewhere!" Her expression doesn't change as he stomps past her out into the night air.
He walks out onto the deck of his ship, the cool salty air blowing his hair around his face, and looks up at the moon. A giant wave, freezing cold water, blue eyes. He grabs his head forcefully in his hands, shaking it vigorously. There's something wrong with him, of that he is absolutely certain. At random points during the day he will get strange, vivid flashbacks, but not of the Agni Kai. No, those flashbacks stopped years ago. These flashbacks never make any sense to him, the subjects always different, nothing connecting them to each other. And if he tries to remember the subjects after a few minutes, he can't. It's like it never happened, the memory a blank space in his mind. On top of that, his nightmares have stopped. To anybody else it would be a blessing, but for Zuko, it's extremely concerning, to say the least. He's had nightmares for the majority of his life; living with a tyrannical, abusive father with an anger management problem had successfully dashed any hope Zuko had dared to feel about ever getting a good night's sleep long ago. But now, he doesn't dream at all. Rather, he knows he dreams, but as soon as he opens his eyes in the morning, he can't remember anything about them. It frustrates him to no end; he feels like he's missing something, and there's a dull ache in his chest that won't go away no matter what he tries. According to his crew and Mai, he sleeps through the night like a rock, which isn't right either. Zuko has been an incredibly light sleeper since he was ten years old, since his mother left him in the middle of the night never to return. The flashbacks, the not-dreams, the deep sleep— something is definitely wrong with him.