He should have been glad that Sango's friends could manage to distract her from such intense sorrow, but he couldn't help but think she deserved a chance to feel her sadness. Day in and day out she flounced around their home brandishing her sunshine like a weapon, but he'd never considered how much of it was an act.
How often did she smile for their sake and not, simply, for the sake of it? There was no way to know. Even now her lips were turned upwards in a brilliant display, blinding and comfortable.
"If you're so worried, maybe you should go and check on her?" His mother was usually so intelligent, but she must have been drunk if she thought he could do something so intimate so casually. Had she never been a victim of unrequited attraction? Could she not sense that even the slightest bit of rejection would be an arrow through his brittle ego?
And when he was a pile of shattered bits then what? How would she explain to the cosmos how she'd so carelessly destroyed centuries of evolution?
"She's with her friends."
Mother huffed at him, "you're also her friend. You're not being strange by offering her a bit of quiet. She looks like she could use it."
She'd shrunk into herself a bit, but she'd never dropped her smile.
He simply wasn't as good at reading people as his mother was.
"I just need a moment!" She called over her shoulders and then she was rushing out of the automatic doors of the hospital lobby.
Two dainty hands plucked his laptop from his lap, "go on now, I think I'll entertain myself with this for a while." Normally, he'd trust his mother with his life. However, the woman was sneaky- at best- and he suddenly couldn't remember if he'd closed all of his tabs.
"She said she needed a moment. What happened to respecting a woman's choice?" He tried to ever so gently remove her hands from his property, but she held steadfast.
"You've got to correctly interpret it first, now go or you'll lose your chance." She was clicking around, wrinkling her nose in disgust as she hid the screen from him.
He itched to tug it from her grip, what was she looking at. While it hadn't escaped his notice that Higurashi was headed for the door, his dignity was at stake. There really was no telling what questionable kink he'd indulged in when he'd been alone.
Between the hours of ten thirty and midnight, he wasn't responsible for the way his mind wandered.
"Oh, dear. You are your father's son."
It was beginning to look like inducing amnesia would be his only choice. She wouldn't stop clicking. At least he was in a hospital. It was a perfect place to drop dead from sheer mortification.
"Oh!" She lowered the screen, causing Higurashi to pause. Her nosineness would be the reason she disappeared, but she didn't seem to get that message. She came closer, "I wasn't aware you and Takeda chan had that kind of relationship."
He had entertained himself to that recently, hadn't he?
"Are you alright Hiriko sama?" Kagome managed to look genuinely concerned for his flustered mother, "do you need something?"
She shoved Sesshomaru out of his seat and motioned for the girl to sit, "it's such a harrowing experience to find that your little boy is a man now. One day he's curled in your lap, begging you to tell him the story of the Warlord and the Slayer," she waved him away and he found himself more than happy to go, "and the next he's got a laptop full of such unsavory fetishes."
Kagome had gone a bit red, but shrugged anyways, "must run in the family. InuYasha leaves stuff like that open on his phone."
Sesshomaru could argue that people shouldn't go snooping, but he found that, once he'd retrieved his possessions and shoved them back into his computer bag, his feet were carrying him far away from his mother's unjust snooping.
He found Sango sitting beneath a large tree, her expression as even as the water of a pond.
"What brings you out here?" She offered him her breathtaking grin, visibly pulling the pieces into place.
The longer he watched her, the longer he realized just how much of her sunshine was a well constructed mask, "stop smiling." The sudden command surprised them both, "I like to think that I'm pretty honest with you, there's no reason you shouldn't have the privilege of being honest with me."
She rolled her eyes, "I don't know what you're talking about. Just because you're rude doesn't mean that I have to be."
"I'm only giving you a space to be yourself, should you choose to accept it."
He sat beside her, silent as he regarded her. Even in sorrow she was radiant.
"What if I'm not as sunshine-y as you thought?" She ducked her head a bit, hiding behind a curtain of hair, "what if I'm just… sad? And not just about today. What if I feel like I'm wasting every day away from my brother? What if I feel selfish for choosing myself?"
"Then you're human." He brushed that thick hair back behind her ear, not missing the little shudder that came with his skin brushing hers. "No one should expect you to be endlessly cheerful. And if they do, well, you don't owe them anything."
"But that's the thing," she began to nibble her fingertips, a habit he'd never seen her indulge before, "dad always says that it's my shining optimism that gets him through. Even you pointed out that the reason you're so nice to me is because I'm 'like sunshine'. I can't just … not be."
He pulled his cigarettes from his pocket, using the direction of the breeze to his advantage, "so you're telling me that you can't be yourself because I like the person you're pretending to be?" She nodded once, taking the cigarette from his fingers without a word.
Her choking fit was legendary.
"Maybe stick to twelve inch dildos and jogging?"
The challenge only caused her to try again, "anyways. Since when do you hold me in such high regard."
She blew smoke in his face with a triumphant smirk, "I don't know, you're just as nasty as you seem… but I like being around you." She returned what she'd stolen, "I thought maybe you liked me so much because we were so...opposite."
"That's stupid, Sango. I like you because you're a sneaky little freak that gets hard for Victorian romances. Your smiling -or lack thereof- is of no real concern to me." He jabbed her in the side, "as long as you're being true to yourself I don't really care what you do."
Smoke came out of his nose when she put her lips to his cheek, "then do you mind if we sit quietly from here on out? I think I need a moment of silence."
"Do you want me to leave?"
She wriggled close to him, leaning her cheek against his chest, "no. Your bad attitude scares people away."
Fair enough.
oOo
At some point they'd both dozed off.
It wasn't until someone touched his shoulder that he cracked open his eyes, "come on you two, I'll get you both a coffee." Sleeping in contacts made his vision blurry, but Sango stirred in his embrace.
"Alright, dad."
She slid free of his arm, digging around in his bag with the kind of familiarity that only came with knowing you were someone's favorite, "just let me do this real quick?" His vision was still blurry, but he could make out the outline of his eye drops.
"I don't really need help." Her fingers on his chin shut him up, he was too busy trying to keep the others from hearing his crescendoing heart beat.
"She finds her peace in caring for others. Without Kohaku here to fuss over it seems she's chosen you," Her dad informed him. He seemed to be content without Sango's gentle attention, "I hope you aren't too put out by indulging her."
Indulging her? He was far too busy trying to remember how to breathe now that she was kneeling between his legs. Honestly, he couldn't fight her off if he wanted to- not when her fingers on his face were driving his blood pressure through the goddamn stratosphere.
"Why are you so red?" She asked coyly, "did I embarrass you? It's just dad, he knows how I can get."
Sesshomaru huffed at her, deciding to focus on making himself presentable instead of acknowledging the horrific phenomenon that was his splotchy face.
"So you've got unlimited and unsupervised access to his fortune, but a little proximity has him running for the hills?" They could both go to hell for all Sesshomaru cared. He busied himself with brushing the static from his hair.
"He's a weird guy."
"Girly too. How long is he going to brush his hair?"
Was he just supposed to take this? There was a whole lot of shit talking going on and not a whole lot of retaliation.
"Until every strand lays just how he wants it to." Damn straight. Apparently sleeping against a tree was just another boundary his hair would not allow him to cross. However, Sesshomaru would be commanded by no man, woman, or animal.
He pulled his dry shampoo from his bag.
"This is kind of fascinating to watch." Her dad muttered, "and he's always like this?"
She hummed, "vainest man I've ever met."
Their commentary meant nothing to him as he made sure he didn't smell like cigarette smoke.
"What's he going to do about the pink under his eyes?"
Sango shrugged, "he usually gets ready by himself. I didn't even know he had puffy under eyes." It didn't seem like their clucking was going to cease itself anytime soon.
"Do you both know… that I can hear you?"
Sango giggled at him, "we weren't exactly whispering."
He pulled out a little black bag, finding what he was looking for without much trouble at all, "well, if you must know, I'm going to color correct the pinkness and then conceal it."
"With make up?" Her dad asked, slowly. Sesshomaru could not imagine how else he would color correct his face. Perhaps other men hid their blemishes with dirt or car oil, but Sesshomaru was not so dull minded or filthy.
"If it suits the King and Princess."
"Well, at least I know I have nothing to worry about if you guys start spending too much time together."
That time Sesshomaru couldn't resist rolling his eyes.
"Maybe, instead of judging, you should let me color correct the Gucci bags under your own eyes, Takeda san." He was content with his appearance, dabbing his lips with a colorless balm to finish it all off.
His round, hearty laugh was more irritating than he thought it could be, "I like my balls where they are."
Sango began packing away his things, "Why don't we drop it?"
"I don't concern myself with the opinions of others. He can think whatever he'd like. Now," he fluffed his shirt at her, "more cologne or no?"
It wouldn't be the first time that some Macho Meathead had something dumb to say about what he did with his own face. He contented himself with the knowledge that they'd never have a need to worry about the way they looked on camera.
Poverty ensured it never really mattered what they looked like.
Sesshomaru was only ready once his things were packed away and his clothes had been dusted of grass and dirt.
"I suppose it's a good thing you're so boyish." Takeda told Sango with an innocent nudge, but her laughter was uncomfortable.
Hah. Hah.
"So, is Kohaku doing alright?" A change in subject would hardly erase the frustration Sesshomaru felt, but he supposed it was a good start, "I know he wasn't being allowed visitors in the psych ward, but has that been straightened out?"
"Hiriko sama and her son should be allowed back once I give the go ahead. You'll have to stay behind for now."
She didn't like it, but Sesshomaru promised to keep his mother in line, "I won't even beat the tumors out through his face." She'd rolled her eyes and accepted it all in stride after that.
Kohaku was in a small, white room, propped up in a bed that looked to be made more uncomfortable by the restraints that belted him to the bars.
"Hello, Kohaku," mother was gentle as she approached him, "can you guess who I am?"
He looked up slowly, looking to be about as miserable as he could get, "I've only ever spoken to one person with silver hair and golden eyes." He offered her a trembling grimace, "are you Maru-nii san's sister?"
She wrapped her fingers around his blue tipped fingers, "not quite. Turns out your situation is a bit more dire than my son felt equipped to handle."
He ducked his head again, curling into himself so completely that Sesshomaru feared he would disappear into the sheets forever. Such misery didn't belong in the eyes of someone so young.
"I worried my sister and your son quite a bit."
She nodded in agreement and he wished he could see her face, so that he knew what she was thinking, "Sesshomaru doesn't usually raise his voice. He may huff and whine and groan, but my son does not yell."
Kohaku seemed to be remembering all the yelling Sesshomaru had done as he lay upon the floor of his home, drowning on dry land.
"He called his grandmother very early this morning and we said, 'we'll see what we can do'. That's usually enough for him. He's my only son, I deny him nothing." She finally glanced back at him, offering him an indulgent little smile.
It wasn't uncommon that she would brush him off and then double back after a few days of 'silent treatment'. Once he'd taken a job at a McDonald's -just to upset her- and left his rotten smelling slacks on the floor of her bedroom. It took two days to get his way.
"But today he said 'mom, listen to me'." She paused as she considered it all, "it was harsh and loud and that's how we knew there must have been someone that he cared for so completely on the other end of all this."
Kohaku shook his head in disbelief, "we barely know each other. He's nice enough, but-."
"Anyone who Sesshomaru does not like a lot would not consider him to be kind. He was suspended for replacing someone's C.C. Lemon with urine in fourth grade."
They should have kept their mouth shut.
"I'm telling you!" Kohaku looked like he was beating back tears, "it's not me he's doing it for. I don't want anyone else to sacrifice anything else for me! Not pride, not money, nothing!"
"There are a lot of people who want you to get better." Sesshomaru told him evenly, "there will always be a reason to sacrifice. Today it's you, but if you take the chance you're being offered then one day you could be the one helping someone else."
Kohaku looked as if he'd give anything for the use of his arms again, however his attempts on his own life hadn't ceased with his arrival at the hospital. Apparently, they'd been near constant. They were under strict instruction not to set him free.
"I get your mother's motivations." It seemed to cause Kohaku great anxiety to raise his eyes to meet Sesshomaru's, "but I don't understand yours. Why help her in the first place. We don't have anything to offer you."
Sesshomaru shrugged, "I couldn't just do nothing. She was depending on me."
oOo
A.N./ I wrote eight and then I wrote this chapter then I deleted eight and revamped this one.
As I'm writing this? Eight does not exist.