Chapter Ten: "How Many Sakuras Can One Village Hold?"
Sakura: "Families are always a love-hate affiar. Why can't it be simple like in anime?"
—On Wishing Life Was On Easy-Mode With Happy Families and Rich Lovers "I said lovers not husbands so I don't have to text where I am when I sneak out at night and raid my bosses secrets from his filing cabinets in some Casanove-level revenge plot. Hmm, whaaaaa? Nothing!"
System: Yes. The Fourth Wall is broken and you definitely need to watch more anime if you think that it's perfect. Also study your history!
Sasuke: Agreed. Anime life isn't always perfect. You should focus on training, forehead.
Naruto: But I got you guys! So it's fine! Let's train together!
Sakura: That's because you're both workaholics. Yes, Naruto, I know you only dream of work. Hokage is just more paperwork!
…
…
"Hello, dearsss~" The creepy snake man then gave me a long stare as his elongated neck rose from his body and his face slithered next to mine, "Now where have I seen you before? Ah, yesss. Tell me, how is your family?"
Um….System? Why does a pretty, but creep snake dude want to know my family? Should I call FBI?
[Oh, don't you remember? Orochimaru is an Akatsuki — or he was. So you've met him before in the Tutorial Stage Dreams]
Sakura peered at the pale man whose neck made her want to do jump rope. His whole aura screamed 'horror movie' starring Dracula's cousin except this guy looked like he loved to mess with people. No matter how much she tried to match his face to the kids she helped during her enforced dream missions, none matched. Nope. Don't remember any kid with long tongues and a penchant for removing their heads from their bodies by pretending their neck was a snake.
[Host. There is only one pale child with black hair whose eyes are golden. Did you forget the orphan you stayed with for a few years as an elder sister?]
Sakura's eyes widened in shock. No. No! It couldn't be that cute child?! He was so calm and shy — and this guy is just so…so…extra! And besides, if that's him, he must think I'm an old lady by now! Why do I feel old staring at my little brother being, I don't know, fifty with better skin?
[You have a history here so it should fool him from thinking you are the same from the past he knows. Even if fifty year olds can look twenty these days….]
Repeat that. Now.
[No! I won't have you getting into another beauty industry business idea!] The System already could tell what it's Host was going to do and it won't let her keep getting distracted!
Just then, Orochimaru's smile widened into a maniacal grin, "Are you afraid my dear? Do not worry. I am simply curiousss about your family…Your grandmother in particular. If you refuse to speak, then I'll have to take you with me —"
"Don't touch her." Sasuke stumbled to his feet. "I'll kill you."
"Heh. I'll get to you soon, child. I'm speaking to the young lady."
Kabuto watched this scene from the side and felt more confused. For someone who once obsessed over the Uchiha, he treated his prime target coldly. What was so special about this little girl that he was risking their entire plan? He glared hatefully at Sakura.
Sakura ignored the death glares and pursed her lips together. Correction. Orochimaru thought the dream me is my grandmother. What should I do?! My parents died in this world, but I don't know about this Sakura's grandparents! I should con my way out of this.
"Um, she died a long time ago. Sorry. Choked on bread." Sakura lied through her teeth. She really needed to ask about her family more. Well, since she's living by herself and her parents were dead, then she could safely assume her grandparents were gone too. Unless there was bad history, there was no way they'd be able to ignore orphaned me. "Sorry for your loss."
[Even I know that makes no sense. Why would you say sorry?]
I panicked! I was never good at family things…Her only bonds were to games and stories. Her parents just used her as an experiment after all.
Orochimaru frowned then asked, "What color is the sky?"
"Uh…Blue." Was she taking an IQ test now?
"Money or fame?"
"Money all the way!" She huffed proudly, just going along with the crazy sannin. Since she brought Sasuke and him together, she completed her mission, right? Right? Time for a promotion hahaha! The more Sakura deluded herself, the more she ignored all the weird signs Orochimaru gave off. Like the fact that he wasn't even looking at Sasuke and giving her 20 questions. Deep down, she couldn't help but have a bad feeling…
"Snakes are pretty? Especially white ones." Even he didn't know why he asked this, but Orochimaru couldn't move his eyes from her face. She truly was an exact replica…
"Uh, yes?" She couldn't help but think of chibi Orochimaru's face…he always did love white snakes.
Suddenly, his voice turned high-pitched into a familiar child's and he cooed, "Onee-chaaaan, when will the rabbits be ready? It's burning again!"
Without thinking, Sakura blurted, "They'll be ready soon! Cooking is hard work! I— Oop." Sakura froze as she realized what she said. His voice sounded exactly like the pale snarky child she spent three years of her life with. In each of her dream 'tutorials', it lasted anywhere from a single afternoon to three years depending on the mission — hence whey her concept of time was all fucked up. It happened enough times in her teenage years that weaving in and out of her life like Alice in Wonderland became instinctive so now whenever she heard certain voices, she automatically got into character.
The snake sannin's eyes narrowed as she responded exactly as his elder sister had nearly everyday in his youth. No matter how much she bragged about her perfect talents, she could only hunt rabbits and fish — and they were always burned. Why did she always over-cook things? Something about her not trusting viruses in foreign climates. "Ssstrange. Did your grandmother tell you about her past? Those were the same words she used to tell me everyday." That seemed plausible…But why did he feel he was missing something obvious?
"Um…Yes." Sakura shrugged. What was he going to do? Believe she was her grandmother? "That's exactly what she said to me when I was young. She used to hunt and cook for me and I take improv classes so I got into character thinking of the past. My bad!" She giggled loudly and twirled her hair. "Whoopsie!" She gave a stupid wink. That's it! It's too late for me to act cool. The only way out is to act stupid! "Welll, since you know grandmother, maybe we can be friends? Or are you after Sasuke? I noticed you kept staring at him~" Sakura hurried to push the plot along. Once Sasuke got bitten, she'd figure out a way to help her boys out without sacrificing them to the snake guy. The mission said Sasuke would leave the village on his own, so that meaned he wouldn't get kidnapped here anyway. But for some reason, Orochimaru kept stalling!
"He's staring at you, Sakura." Sasuke deadpanned.
"I am interested in the Uchiha, but plans change, dear." Orochimaru followed up.
Meanwhile the System was having a panic attack: [RED FLAG! I knew something would go wrong with you! I sense changes in the world piling up — Be careful, Host! There are still ways to change the Akatsuki's ways, but now my superiors are alerting me to plot changes. They can't interfere so we're on our own. Oh dear, my points are in danger…]
Hey! I followed your directions and got the two guys to meet so don't blame me! And what the hell — forget your stupid points, my sanity's in danger! What do you mean we're on our own?! No more clues or missions to follow? This is poorly structured, System!
[Nothing in life is certain, Host…And we're not really a top priority. I am a baby System after all…sniffle. We're more like compasses, but we don't call the shots. So if there are too many changes, we either get different missions as hints or we are strictly on our own and need to take initiative. It seems talking with you has triggered Orochimaru and the following events will be gravely different. Watch your back! The only thing I can help you with is tell you when we succeed in the final mission of this world so you can leave after.]
Worthless! What kind of inefficient system is in charge?! Ugh stupid snake man! Stick to the plot!
Sakura glared at Orochimaru as she prepared for an attack. Now that the sannin wasn't going to follow the script, she had to get serious. "What are you planning with us?!" She yelled as she forced the plot to go on. Since he didn't seem to acknoledge Sasuke, she'd make him! "Is it for his Uchiha bloodline? He's the only one here with one!"
"Fufu. No, no. I seem to have found something better. Let's try a little experiment." Orochimaru smiled then dashed forward with hands out — aimed for her neck!
"Hey!" Sakura swore as she barely dodged thanks to her powerful sixth sense — the same sense that urged her when to leave stocks behind or get out of work early. Even so, she could feel his fingers around her neck press on her skin before she ducked. I thought he wanted to bite Sasuke! Explain, System!
[Don't blame me! It seems this world has been truly bugged]
I feel like you're using that as an excuse for everything!
[W-Whaaa? No! N-Nonsense. Watch out, his head is coming back!]
The System warned as Orochimaru's neck extend like a rope and swerved to bite her from the other side. With another curse, Sakura blocked his face with a kunai, but he dodged. "The fuck! Are you made of noodles?! Put your head back spaghetti-o! It's disturbing!"
"Hmm. Not bad for a genin." Then he turned serious and looked to the side, not minding Sakura backing away from him. "Kabuto. Leave the girl to me. Don't kill the boysss — they are very useful." Orochimaru ordered.
"Understood." Kabuto nodded and charged at the boys — they dodged and jumped back into the distance while Sakura separated from them and faced the Sannin. Divide and Conquer could go both ways!
System: [Says the genin who only focused on money. How are you going to get out of this now?]
Hey! I have an idea! I was this kid's big sis for three years after all! But still! Speaking of this, I never got to complain about that mission! The poor boy I had to disappear from after years— it's your fault he's like this! You fucking talking failing plot! Do you systems understand how much of a mind fuck those dreams were for a teenager? One day, you're dreaming of hot vampires and then the next moment you're stuck in a dream mission and told to live there for three years. Then you wake up and you still have to deal with finals the next day! If I didn't have great memory, I'd have to repeat that school year! You owe me!
[*Cough* I get it! I do feel bad, but it couldn't be helped. You are the only psycho — erm, genius we could find so close by! Besides, you were saying you had a plan for your little brother?] The System tried to push all responsibility to the side and went back to topic. The more it stayed with the Host, the more it picked up her bad habits. The child System was getting corrupted!
Tch. Fine, ignore me! Yeah, I hope the psycho still has some sanity in there or I might as well just bomb the whole forest. Maybe then it'll put back sense in this 'brother' of mine. I have enough stored in my scrolls…
[You're not the villain here! Stop it! The forest would just be on fire!]
Yeah, yeah. You know this is unpaid work!
Focusing on her battle, Sakura said, "Come on, stranger I've never met before! You wanted to talk? Then let me beat you up first!" She made sure that the captured genin were gone from the scene before she got into battle stance. How else do I raise the odds of survival? He said he wouldn't hurt the boys, but what about me? Where are all the anbu guards?! Having a legendary snake sannin as an enemy can't be fair! Either they're all dead or there's a decoy. Maybe a way to hide our presence. Damn, I wish I made a giant speaker and just yell, "ENEMY YOU SOMEHOW MISSED IS HERE"!
"Worried, my dear? Do not fear. I do not plan on killing you. I just need you to come with me. You don't seem as power hungry as the Uchiha so I'll have to change tactics." He jumped forward and once more Sakura only just barely dodged while launching a scroll out. Instantly dozens of kunai and third-rate swords shot out of the scroll and Orochimaru dodged each one!
"Hey! It's illegal to kidnap young maidens! Don't you have sannin work to do?!" Sakura yelled before summoning another scroll and two Sakuras came out of it. Once more, the fire-wind sword duo clones stood on the field. Shit. I have to buy time until I think of something!
Orochimaru merely chuckled. "How creative, but not enough. Come on, show me what you can do. I do not wish to be disappointed." She may look, act and have the same spirit as Elder Sister, but will she be as strong? He had to test this vessel. Despite his words, a sense of nostalgia filled his heart.
The two clones dashed forward, propelled by perfectly controlled chakra in their feet, and immediately twirled their swords to create fans of flames that grew ten times in sizes as they were powered up by the twirling sword of wind. While they provided cover, as she doubted that was enough to harm a legend, she summoned another two clones and performed a jutsu and sank into the earth as Kakashi did during training. By the time the flames were gone, Sakura and her clone sunk into the ground while her other clone took her place above ground.
Orochimaru took out a sword and dispatched of the two clones with a swipe of his sword. They poofed away in a couple bursts of smoke and he ran through the wall of red flames without effort. He smirked as he instanly realized the two faint chakra signatures — one above and below…And the one above looked too clean. By now, the genin would all have a few scratches or dirt on their clothes from fighting. So he cut off the clone's head without hesitation and said, "Come on out, Sakura! Or I'll come to youuuu!"
He laughed as he clenched a fist and shattered the ground. He may not be at Tsunade's strength, but a sannin had to do this much with his bare power or what kind of shinobi was he?
Instead of seeing Sakura revealed by the shattered earth, however, smoke only billowed in his face and the perfectly hidden original Sakura popped out of the earth behind him, kunai swiping —
With a smirk of her own, she immediately recalled the human anatomy and chakra points of the medical books she studied…and a thrill burst through her. She could finally test out her theory! In a flurry of motions that even Orochimaru couldn't see, she had her kunai cut his tendons and barely managed to stick five needles in certain chakra points before she had to dodge hsi sword and leaped back several feet.
Sakura's green eyes glittered as she watched the legendary sannin limp and his right arm drooped down as the sword fell to the ground. However, the sannin didn't look as angry as she thought he would? "Why are you smiling, kidnapper?" Did she traumatize him so much as a kid that he developed strange habits? Even though it wasn't her fault, she still felt a bit of guilt.
Orochimaru grinned wide as he laughed like a mad man. "I underestimated you, Sakura! You definitely are your grandmother's blood! Hahaha! You aren't as strong physically, but you do have her mind. Although I love this idea. I haven't had my chakra points so accurately disabled before! Why didn't I think of this?" Like a scientist who just had a new epiphany, he scrutinized his right arm that lost all feeling and the slashes on his ankles. "It's too bad. If you had more strength, the damage would have been greater and I would have fallen to the ground. I'll need to put more muscle on you before I take over your body."
"Creeper say what!" Sakura squeaked. At first she felt proud her theory worked, but now she just had a bad feeling that she just gave this lunatic more experimental ideas. The irony of having raised a little bro who ended up becoming a mad scientist like her parents wasn't lost on her. But the most distrubing thing was…"What do you mean take over my body?!"
As soon as she screamed that, Naruto and Sasuke looked over and stared at the sannin in disgust.
Orochimaru sighed. It seemed the message was taken the wrong way… He clarified, "Not like that."
"Pervert!" Sakura didn't listen as usual and took out a giant scroll — once more a storm of knives and swords flew out toward the sannin…except what were dozens became hundreds — he couldn't dodge all of them and had to block what he could with his sword.
Sasuke couldn't help but say, "I never gave her that many swords."
Naruto replied, "Seems she negotiated with businesses by buying in bulk after we got paid. Didn't know that was a thing."
"Pay attention brats." Kabuto spoke. He really wanted to kill them and get it over with, but his master had plans…even if he was ruining his own plans. He shook his head.
While Sakura dealt with her traumatized and creepy 'brother', Naruto and Sasuke were busy dealing with Kabuto. The three eyed the the other warily. Finally Naruto couldn't take the silence and confusion and he screamed, "What do you want with Sakura?! What does that guy mean by take over her body?"
But he still hated brats who ruined his plans. So Kabuto sneered, "Of course she's just another vessel. But not to worry, my master loses interest very easily. Once Orochimaru is done with your dear weak Sakura, I will rip her limb from limb and send her to you in a box." He was still pissed off at Sakura.
The boys' eyes darkened and Naruto's rage flowed through him. "Sakura is not weak."
Sasuke activated his Sharingan and growled, "And we'll be the ones tearing you apart."
Unbeknowest to him, a bit of his demonic chakra flared up and in the distance, a certain sand genin's demon reacted. The sand trio were just about to enter the tower with two scrolls when Gaara froze suddenly as if listening to the air.
Temari and Kankuro looked at each other fearfully. There was only one thing that made him act like this and they subtly backed away in case he went beserk. He was speaking to it.
Gaara listend to his mother, as he called the voice within. Soon, he sensed an unusual yet familiar chakra flare in the distance again. It's power reminded him of Shukaku…and he almost dropped the scrolls. Immediately, he said, "Stay here. Do not lose the scrolls. I'll be back." And he disappeared in a whirl of sand.
His siblings stared at the scrolls then after Gaara's fleeing back — and ran straight after him. Scary or not, orders or not, they couldn't just leave him alone!
And so the sand trio started to make their way to Sakura's location…further messing the System's plans up….
Back where Sakura was, the situation didn't look too good. While she grew more tired, the sannin barely broke a sweat! She really wished she invented a way to communicate with other anbu or send a message fast. Stupid era didn't have phones!
Meanwhile, the sannin was praising the young woman. The more Orochimaru fought against the pinkette, the more unnerved he became. Her green eyes that sparkled in the heat of battle, that shameless attitude and even her aggressive fighting movements all were reminiscent of his elder sister. Once again, he couldn't help but feel like he was back in the quiet village full of happiness. She wasn't just similar to the woman he knew, she was like an exact carbon copy! This defied all of his scientific research! Could two separate generations look the same as twins?
He put pressure on his heel and darted closer, swiping a kunai just a tiny bit against her cheek — red blood flowed. "You're not reanimated. A lab clone? No, that technology doesn't exist yet…" Heavens knew he would know. As one of his many obsessions, he scoured every country for knowledge and there was certainly nobody making clones besides him.
So what did that make this girl? She was the exact copy of his past reborn. For the first time in a long time, the snake sannin had no idea what to make of something. No likely theories came to mind except…time travel? But that was impossible…Or was it?
Sakura interrupted his thoughts with a roar and threw out her scroll right on top of Orochimaru and said, "Release!" Immediately three other Sakuras poofed into existence right above him and perfectly timed with their fall, they held out the flaming swords in their hands and screamed, "SHANAROOOO!"
Before their swords could pierce skin, the sannin instantly teleported away with a smile. "Ah, ssso close! Well done, that was perfectly timed, my dear. It iss quite sad that I am faster than you." And he showed up right behind the real Sakura's back.
The kunoichi felt a chill down her spine as she ducked instinctively and saw his mouth about to bite where her neck would be. "Damn it!" She yelled before jumping away.
Sasuke and Naruto yelled her name, but soon became preoccupied by Kabuto's unrelenting attacks.
Orochimaru just watched her curiously as she grimaced at him. Ludicrous theories of time travel aside, her chakra control was simply perfect. I can't leave her alone like this. He called out to her, "I can give you much power. Just become my vessel and we will take over the shinobi world. Wouldn't you like that?" This way she'll never be separated from him. Once more, madness loomed in his eyes as he recalled the day his elder sister disappeared from the face of the earth.
Sakura pursed her lips as she took in Orochimaru's crazed fan look and cracked her knuckles in her fist. Basically he just wanted her body because she looked like the big sis he knew? Fuck that, but she couldn't blame him. True to her narcisstic self, she took it in stride to have such a powerful 'fan' and said with a self-pitying sigh, "Yeah, I can understand your longing, but now I'm obligated to beat the shit out of you. If I were my, um, grandmother, then I would need to discipline my baby brother who went astray. Becoming a high-powered fan-stalker sis-con? What happened to your dignity?!"
She had an obligation as his elder sister to make sure to smack the yandere stalker out of him! And it was her responsibility to help him. He may have been a brother in her dream, but it was only in her dreams that she had a family. So mission or not, these kids were her responsibility. Without hesitation, she was prepared to pull out all the works when she noticed a ball of sand forming above them and she stopped. Orochimaru noticed her gaze and frowned.
Hm? Was this part of the plot, System?
[Sigh. No. There is no plot anymore. Everything is ruined! How are the Chuunin exams supposed to proceed like this?!]
A red-haired boy came out of nowhere in a whirl of sand and dropped in the center of the battlefield.
….
…
While Team Seven faced Orochimaru and Kabuto, two curious pairs of eyes watched from the shadows. They spoke quietly at the same time,
"That girl —"
"The pinky —"
Itachi and Kisame glanced at each other a bit surprised. Before they could question each other, Gaara showed up at the scene — and the tension rose.
Gaara was about to call out to Naruto before he realized Orochimaru and his eyes widened. "You."
Orochimaru frowned, "None of my plans are working out today. Well, that is my fault I suppose…" He looked back at Sakura with a smile. "But I will have you, my dear. That is non-negotiable. Unluckily for you, I can't meet your grandmother, but you'll do just as fine." His smile went from creepy to cold in two seconds. It was a smile she knew well.
Sakura only had one thought —
I should have figured nothing would go right. Who knew the past would bite me this hard in the ass. So much for an easy promotion.
System: [Why are you my Host?]
That's what I wanna know!
…..
….
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AUTHOR NOTE:
Ohayoooo!
And so another chap! Sorry for the wait, got swamped with school.
How are you? Anybody excited for Mandalorian or Halloween? I'm just gonna buy myself a moutain of chocolate and bathe in it. Okay, maybe not bathe…but I'm not losing weight this month.
How on earth did Sakura do missions when she didn't even know basic jutsus in her dreams? Easy! The dreams were tutorials so they gave her amped up powers (within reason) depending on the scenario. Of course, even in her younger days, Sakura loved to mess with things. Haha!
Anyway, I'll try my best to upload later this week or early next and see you then! Please review and send me karma points! (I barely passed my driving permit test. I'm the oldest person getting their permit, dear gods. I miss being within walking distance to everything. Sob!).
Toodeloo,
WitchySkies
P.S. Hope y'all doing well and stay safe out there.
P.S.S. And listen to lo-fi while wearing giant headphones. Feels like you're in an anime.