Authors Note: Here you guys go. Another finished chapter. Hope everyone is having an amazing December so far. Enjoy :)
Chapter Nineteen
Tauriel watched the Dwarrow in her company look uneasily around as they entered the lower part of the city. Gandalf had instructed he would do the talking which was all well and fine with her. She may be the only elf in the company, but she knew very little of elven cities outside her own apart from stories and rumors. For all she knows, Elrond could be another Thranduil, despite tales of the contrary.
Wanting to watch the others, she slowed her pace as they got closer to the city, placing herself now towards the back of the company, Kili, her strong rock, always opting to remain at her side and matched his pace to be beside her. Part of her wondered if he was worried about being surrounded by her kind, but one look at his curious demeaner told her otherwise. She had shared much of her culture with Kili, even before they were married. She even continued to teach her precious husband Sindarin at his request. He wanted to learn more than just the marriage blessing and she was happy to oblige.
She laughed at a memory of one of their lessons in which Fili had walked in on. The golden-prince asking what they were up to as they were each sitting cross legged before the other leaning in close as Tauriel attempted to help Kili's pronunciation of a particularly lilting word. To Kili's utter horror, upon asking for the word, his brother immediately repeated it perfectly, accent and all. He stayed through the lesson and joined them ever since. Both princes learning her language, as she had learned theirs. Fili was a little more talented at the lilting language, but Kili had come a long way and the trio often conversed in Sindarin, especially when they didn't want others to know what they were up to. Though they always did so discreetly. Thorin and the dwarves may have been accepting of Tauriel, surprisingly, but they were not sure if it was a good idea to push the tolerance. Thorin probably would not be too happy knowing his nephews were fluent in the elvish language.
However, their knowledge would do them good in this environment and will help them with future interactions with elves in general. Her kind seems to harbor a little more respect for beings able to speak their tongue.
The group entered the city in a line prior to grouping together just as a tall, dark haired elf, looking more confused than unkind, descended down the stairs, immediately greeting the grey wizard. Tauriel stood just behind Thorin who was leaning into Dwalin muttering something so quietly, not even her ears could pick it up. Dwalin just rolled his eyes muttering something in reply. She was not concerned as Thorin looked back at her, smirking slightly but she knew him well enough to know it wasn't in mirth. Kili and Fili stood on either side of her, each looking forward at the few elves who had followed the first down the stairs.
"Mithrandir." The tall elf had just stepped down from the bottom step, his hand over his heart in warm greeting just as Gandalf stepped forward. "Ah, Lindir." Tauriel did not think this was Lord Elrond, but she was not fully confident in her judgment as she had never met the Lord of Imladris. Gandalf confirmed her earlier assessment though as he responded to the kind greeting. Lindir continuing to speak in Sindarin causing many of the dwarves to shift nervously. Fili and Kili however, listened keenly.
"They saw us in the valley?" Fili quietly whispered. Tauriel was not sure if it was a question in if he interpreted correctly or a rhetorical question. Regardless, she nodded subtly. "Seems so." Came her quiet reply, not looking at her dwarven brother. Kili just continued to quietly look ahead. She was thankful when Gandalf immediately switched to the common language causing many of the dwarves to relax their shoulders if only a little.
"We need to speak with Lord Elrond." Gandalf inquired. His request was met with Lindir simply stating that Lord Elrond was not in Rivendell, however when the wizard queried on where he was, the trumpeting of an elven horn filled the valley. Tauriel knew that sound, or a sound like it, it was to signal of the coming of an elvish army. Played before battle, and in homecoming.
She turned just as large horses tramped into the circled dais they stood on, causing the dwarves to grab Bilbo pulling the curious hobbit to the center for protection and putting themselves in battle ready position. Tauriel too, on her guard, as her husband and brother pulled their weapons with their kin. Perhaps Elrond was like Thranduil. This thought causing the red-haired elf to pull her own blades wearily. As Thorin bellowed "Close ranks!"
If blood was to be spilled, be it elven, orc, troll, or man, her blades would always come in defense of her family and her new kin, the dwarves. She, after all, had the heart of a dwarf. Manwe had said it in Valinor and, though Kili mistook it as a statement of an affectioned dwarf giving his heart to his love, deep down she felt his meaning lie more in the belief that she herself, was more Dwarrow in spirit and nature than elf. Afterall, her own spirit, her fae, had chosen a dwarf for its soulmate, its one. Who was she to deny this evidence? Instead, she embraced it more and more with each passing day.
If Legolas saw her now, she feels her old, dear, friend would not recognize her for who she was on the inside. The outside she was no different, apart from dressing in dwarven fashions thanks to Leotti, and her hair housing the four dwarven braids and beads which tinkled as she walked, there was little different about her. However, on the inside, she held and fully embraced the heat, passion, pride, bravery, loyalty, and joy that was to be Dwarrow. One thing she knew for certain, she is happier and more content with her life now than she has ever been in her 600 years of life among her own kind in Mirkwood. Finally, she found her place in life and it was beside her dwarven love and dwarven family. The Dwarrows where her kin now.
The three in the company who understood the elven language listened as Gandalf greeted the regal elf who appeared to be Lord Elrond, upon his large horse. The Lord regaling the wizard in his recent escapade, eliminating an orc pack who seemed to suddenly appear in their valley. This he said while eyeing the motley group in the center still brandishing their weapons just before jumping off his mount.
He immediately walked over to embrace the tall wizard before switching to the common language. "Strange for orcs to come so close to our borders. Something or someone has drawn them near."
"Ah. That may have been us." Gandalf admitted just before Thorin stepped forward, away from the now somewhat less tense group. The wizards friendly banter seeming to help dispel some of the earlier tension.
"Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain."
"I do not believe we have met." Thorin simply responded to the tall Lord of Rivendell. He was not unkind, but slightly surprised the elf knew who he was. Elrond replying that he had his grandfathers bearing, having known Thror when he was King under the mountain. Thorin thought about countering with a grumbling retort something akin to 'he never mentioned you' but looked back at his nephews and Tauriel and thought better of it. Instead he just nodded respectfully muttering a simple "Indeed."
Elrond eyed him then the group behind him before speaking, this time in Sindarin, which did not have a positive effect on the company.
"What is sayin'!? Does he offer us insult!" Tauriel closed her eyes at Gloin's flaring temper causing the group to yell out. Gandalf looked like he was about to respond when Fili smiled excitedly.
"Oh. Food. Great. I am starving." Kili laughed and Tauriel had to use her hand to smother her own smile at Fili's ability to ease the group, though he did get some strange looks, most just assumed Tauriel whispered the translation as she was standing directly beside him. "Indeed, young Master Fili, Lord Elrond is offering us all food and wine." Gandalf supplied after looking surprised at the princes ability to understand the elfish language before brushing it off, also believing the elf beside him translated.
The group huddled together for a quick debate on whether or not to follow, well all apart from Kili, Fili, and Tauriel just watching. Gloin was the first to turn back around responding with a "In that case, lead on" before they all followed the elves up for a meal.
Tauriel sighed from the back of the group. One thing she knew for certain about the elves in Imladris is the one thing the dwarves will like the least. The elves here only partook of that which grew from the ground. Leafy greens, fruits, and vegetables only. Unlike the wood elves of Mirkwood who preferred game and fish with their meals. They were not going to be happy.
"Kili, Fili." She quietly called the two just ahead of her. They turned, stopping their steps for a moment but Tauriel urged them to continue forward but quietly informed them "There will be no meat here, only foods of the earth. I thought I would give you fair warning." Fili groaned, and Kili grumbled. They were starving. They had not eaten since the morning before the troll attacked, now over 24 hours ago. Nothing makes a dwarf grumpier than an empty stomach. "We can go and hunt tomorrow, but tonight you will both need to eat something green, I am afraid. It will do none of us good to be continuously malnutrition."
She thought it best to ignore her brother and husbands looks of horror and frustration as she caught up with the group ahead. In all the turmoil of their arrival, she had not noticed the strange looks the elves were giving her, she wrinkled her nose in annoyance. She hated being a spectacle. Then again, what else could she be. An elf among the company of the dwarves, dressed as a dwarf. Just wait until they hear she is also married to one.
The company was led to an outside veranda with tables lined with wine and plates of just as Tauriel suspected, greens and vegetables. From the corner of her eye's she could see the disappointment set in on her two princes. They must have silently hoped she was wrong. Well. Better they know then to cause a scene. Although, she had little hope the others would not take that challenge up.
Elrond waived his hand and motioned for everyone to be seated just as several elves carrying instruments came in and took their seats. Soon the air was filled with the smooth and flowing sound of elven music.
Opting to join her husband and brother, Tauriel looked around. Half the company sat at one table, the other half at her table just a little further down from the first. Thorin joining Lord Elrond at the higher table. She could hear Dori trying to get Ori to eat some of the greens before him and smiled when the young dwarf instead, requested 'chips'. Dwalin searching his bowl of greens snarling "Where's the meat."
"Vegetarians." Tauriel replied in a hushed voice to the large, grumpy, Dwarrow. He just glared at her as if it was her fault, as usual. To which she crossed her arms and glared back. "I eat meat." She tried to stand up for herself but he just continued glaring. Her attention was quickly diverted though when her husband's mouth wins again.
"Okay brother, lets win you an elf so we can be a matching set."
"Oh really brother? And you think one of these elves would give us the time of day? They all seem a bit….oh what is the word…..haughty."
No, it's all in the charm Fi. See that one at the harp, she's looking over here. Just watch and learn." Tauriel's head whipped over to her husband and she narrowed her eyes to level the stupid male with a glare. Fili looked from Tauriel to Kili, who was too distracted with his task to noticed the holes she was burning in his thick skull. He shook his head at Kili's stupidity.
"Um brother? Perhaps.."
"Hush, Fi." Kili smiled at the she'elf at the harp who was watching him curiously before sending her a wink. The wink turned to a wince however, when his wife's fist connected with his arm….hard. He turned a sheepish smile to her.
"Ouch. Amralime. I was trying to show Fili how to properly woo an elf maid." He said rubbing his upper arm where she hit him. He looked into her scowling eyes. "Careful love, you might end up looking like Dwalin if you keep that face." She rolled her eyes.
"Besides, I have my own beautiful elf whom I wouldn't trade for anything or anyone. However, for Fili, maybe we should try someone else. High cheekbones and too thin that one."
"Not enough facial hair either." Fili supplied nodding in agreement. "No offense Tauri, you are much more beautiful then these elves."
Tauriel still did not look too impressed at her husband's or brother's antics. She reached for her cup, bringing the sweet wine to her lips, however she choked on her drink when she heard her husband's next proclamation.
"Although that one there is not bad." The phrase itself not what was having her snorting into her drink and choking on the sweet liquid, rather the fact he was indicating to the elf playing the small stringed instrument beside their table.
"That's not an elf maid." Dwalin whispered, the first time Tauriel has ever seen a sign of amusement on his face.
Kili looked at the elf as if he didn't believe what he was being told.
"Oi Kili, yeh sure you knew Tauri was a she when ye married er'?" Bifur laughed out causing Kili to grumble as they all laughed at his expense. 'Just deserts' Tauriel thought as she joined in the laughter even if they were hinting at Kili thinking she was a male elf before their wedding night.
Taking pity on her husband's embarrassment, she leaned down and pressed her lips to his rough cheek. Although she could not help but whisper "You did know I was female right?"
Fili's uproarious laughter filled the room as the company joined for another round of laughing at Kili. Tauriel laughing beside him.
"Funny." He grumbled.
Tauriel took another sip of her refilled glass and linked her hand with Kili's under the table. He must not be too upset as he twined his fingers with hers under the table and the group once again settled into picking at their plates.
The lilting music once again filling the silence. Tauriel listened while Elrond assessed both Thorin's and Gandalf's swords, giving them their names and histories before asking how they came by them. The wizard pausing before supplying a shortened version of what happened only causing their host to question further. She caught Thorin's eye. He looked like he had about had enough of the evening. She sent him an apologetic smile hoping it would ease his growing annoyance. It seemed to help as he turned back to the conversation at his table, though not really joining it.
She did hear Elrond inquire "Such interesting company you keep, Mithrandir"
Across from her, Oin had stuffed a napkin in his ear horn, probably to muffle the flute playing directly behind him as Nori hollered out for a change in toon, anything that didn't sound as if it belonged at a funeral.
"Did somebody die?" Oin inquired, the company snickering in response.
"Well, nothin' for it" Tauriel knew it was bound to happen. She watched with amusement as Bifur jumped up on the table to offer up his version of a much more entertaining atmosphere. His voice filling the room as he sang out one of the jolly dwarven tunes even Tauriel knew about an Old Inn. She ignored the looks shot at her from the other elves as she clapped her hands and joined in the boisterous singing around her. Though, even in her merry making she did see Thorin looking over at Bofur as if he was torn between outright laughing and wanting to drag the dwarf from the room. He settled for a smirk as he rolled his eyes to the sky.
In full Dwarrow custom, the song ended with food flying through the air right at the table dancing dwarf. The veranda now filled with the laughter of a company of dwarves and one elf.
Although Tauriel did eat much more of the greens then the dwarves, truth be told, she was not certain they ate any at all, not a single one of the company left the dining area satisfied though the wine dulled it a tiny bit. She listened keenly when Bombur mentioned having some rations left over, enough to make a decent stew. Her stomach ached for the rich, filling, food. However, before her, Fili, and Kili could follow the dwarves who were being led to a place to stay for the night, they were stopped by Thorin.
"I have been invited to a meeting with Lord Elrond, I want you three with me. Tauriel, you are the only elf I trust in middle earth, I need your eyes and ears." Tauriel smiled and nodded in easy agreement, Fili and Kili agreeing as well. Thorin turned with the trio and led them another way where they entered a chamber with Lord Elrond and Mithrandir. Tauriel was not surprised to see Balin in the chamber as well, but she was startled to notice the small hobbit had joined them.
Seeing as everyone invited was in the room, Lord Elrond stepped forward. He looked at Tauriel for a moment, studying her but said nothing about her presences, instead, he diverted his attention to the dwarven king. "What business brings you to these parts, Thorin Oakenshield."
"Our business is our own." Thorin responded gruffly. As keen as he was on the elf that was practically his daughter, he still harbored ill feeling towards the race which refused to come to their aid at the time they needed it the most. Gandalf was not having it.
"For goodness sake Thorin. Show him the map." Thorin turned a dark look on the wizard for ordering him about. He turned to Balin who was shaking his head 'no' then to his small family. Fili and Kili stood both with their arms folded listening, and Tauriel contemplated their predicament, listening as Mithrandir grumbled about the stubbornness of dwarves and declaring Lord Elrond to be one of the only beings in middle earth to be able to decipher that map. After a moment where it seemed nothing was going to happen, Tauriel leaned over to Balin and Thorin.
"Lord Elrond, I believe, can read what we cannot. I do not know how well I trust the situation, but I do trust he can tell us what it reads." Balin still looked unconvinced but Thorin nodded, taking the map from an inside hidden pocket and went to pass the taller elf the parchment, but pulled it back an inch just as the elf was about to take it.
"This map is the legacy of my people, as are its secrets. It is mine, ours.." He looked to his nephews and Tauriel "to protect. I trust whatever secrets lie within will not leave this small company." He did not move to relieve the map to the taller elf until the Lord nodded and responded "Agreed." After another tense moment, Thorin finally passed the folded map to his outstretched hand.
Elrond opened it slowly, looking at its contents then lifted his eyes in surprise.
"Erabor? What is your interest in this map?"
Before anyone else could answer, Gandalf called out it was purely academic.
"As you know some of these artifacts sometimes contains hidden text." He then inquired if Lord Elrond was still able to read the ancient dwarvish language. Not responding immediately, the elven Lord moved towards a window for more light before holding the map up.
"Cirth Ithil" he read out loud, which Gandalf translated instantly as 'moon runes'. Elrond responded that these types of runes could only be read by the light of the moon of the same shape and season as they day they had initially been written.
"Can you read them?" Thorin asked. Without responding Elrond signaled for them to follow him as he led the small group out of the chamber and down an outside path, leading behind a waterfall deep into a large open cavern etched into the side of the cliff lit by the bright light of the stars above and the cloud covered moon streaming in from the large opening where the water wasn't cascading down. A crystal podium being the main feature at the center of the large, bright, cavern like ledge.
Tauriel was mesmerized by the beauty of the room, her eyes taking in the features around her, stopping as she stood just behind Thorin at the crystal podium. Fili and Kili too seemed lost in awe of where they were standing beside her. She felt Kili's hand enter her own as they listened to Elrond explain the runes were written nearly two hundred years ago on a mid-summer's eve by the light of a crescent moon. He placed the map onto the crystal structure then turned to Thorin.
"It would seem you were meant to come to Rivendell. Fate is with you Thorin Oakenshield. The same moon shines upon us tonight."
As if he could control the skies above, just as he finished speaking the cloud over the moon cleared showing a brilliantly bright crescent moon. The light's beams lit the crystal podium underneath the map and Tauriel could not stop the gasp of wonder as words previously hidden lit up on the parchment. Elrond quickly interpreting the newly revealed runes
"Stand by the grey stone when the thrush knocks, and the setting sun with the last light of Durin's day will shine upon the key-hole"
"Durin's Day?" Tauriel had quite forgotten the small hobbit was with them. He was looking at Balin beside him who explained Durin's day marked the Dwarven New Year. She smiled to herself, remembering her first Durin's Day several months back. It happens to be within a week of Yule. She fingered the ring on her free hand then felt the warm metal of her husband's matching band in her grip. She found she enjoyed Dwarven holidays as they so far have filled her life with love, warmth, and laughter. She was brought back to the present when Thorin rushed out,
"This is ill news. Summer is passing. Durin's day will soon be upon us." Tauriel silently agreed. They had already been traveling for several months making what she feels is slow progress. It is much easier to travel quickly alone, groups move much slower.
"We still have time." Balin ascertained.
"Time for what?" Fili looked over at the hobbit, answering before Balin could respond. "To find the entrance Mr. Baggins."
"There is more to it lad, I am afraid." Balin, undeterred by Fili cutting in continued "We will have to be standing in exactly the right spot at exactly the right time for the keyhole to appear. It is then and only then the door can be opened."
Tauriel could feel the chill creeping into her bones. Every time they discussed Erabor, she felt as if her spirit was ripped in two. One lingering here, the other trapped in a cold, dark, distant place. She clung tightly to Kili's hand, praying to the valor her mind would not shatter so she could stay in the moment, help her family plan and prepare; but the further she got on their journey, the more difficult it was to stay present in these moments of madness. She could hear Kili's quiet calls of "Amralime, are you alright?" The sound of his voice echoing in her ears as she closed her eyes attempting to dispel the vision on the horizon of her mind.
'Stay grounded, stay present, Kili is beside you. Feel his hand in your own. You are here now. In Rivendell.' She thought over and over before she opened her eyes, her mouth hanging open as a startled gasp left her and she was once again stuck in a world of ice and snow, alone. The grey of the world around her seeping into her soul, biting as much as the cold. The ravens ahead circling in masses above, but remained quiet, apart from the whirlwind of the swooshing fluttering of their wings. This time they remained as keen observers for the time being. Tauriel had no choice but to step forward, following the path before her up the steep incline towards the circling black mass of birds.
She stepped around the now familiar sight of the golden unmoving creature on the ground, her eyes taking in the color. Oh sweet valor, please let this not be representative of Fili. As if her mind knew the connection, the golden mass evolved into the form of her now beloved dwarven brother and she jumped back several paces only to stumble over a black figure. Slowly turning her head, Tauriel let out a strangled cry as the second mass turned to one, Thorin Oakenshield. His body still as a blade protruded from his once proud chest.
Movement high above caught her eyes and she pealed them from the one she thought of as a surrogate father and sat paralyzed to the spot. High above, a massive, shadowed figure held the throat of the shape she knew better than any other, a form she knew as well as her own. Her precious other half, her Kili. He was being dangled over the high ledge, barely moving. The glint of a blade shined as the shadow figure plunged it into Kili's heart, his body instantly going lifeless. She tried to scream, tried to run, tried to do anything but her body refused to cooperate. She was stuck in her own hell, paralyzed and unable to help. Powerless to stop. Her spine tingled as a deep voice bellowed
"And the line of Durin shall fall forever!" As he threw the lifeless body of Kili over the edge where he landed, unmoving on the ground meters from her. The shadow's laughter echoing through the air. The birds began to join in the mirth, the raven's cawing in harmony with the dark laughter getting louder and louder, the deafening sound resonating in her head and heart. She clawed at her ears, begging for the noise to stop, yelling for the only one who could bring peace.
"KILI!" Nothing, the birds got louder still.
"KILI!" She screamed again but the raven's calls overpowered her voice.
She closed her eyes and suddenly all at once, the world went completely silent and still. She felt something, or someone's hands on her face, the strong pressure working to try and gain her attention, but she was too frightened to move. Slowly sound began to filter in, first what sounded like rushing water, then her name, being called over and over. The familiar voice calling out desperately trying to get her to 'come back'. She knew that voice. That voice was her safety.
Very slowly, as if testing the waters, she allowed her eyes open. Everything was blurry so she blinked a few times to clear whatever it was from her eyes blocking her vision. Tears, it was tears, she soon realized, cascading frantically down her cheeks. This wasn't the only thing she noted, she was no longer standing, but lying on the ground, her body trembling fiercely. She again tried to focus on the figure standing above her and eventually, Kili's features came into focus. His hands tightly cradling her face as he pulled her from her hell, as only he would ever be able to do.
"Kili." She hoarsely whispered. Her throat was sore and at the moment, she didn't understand why. "I am here. I am here." Was all Kili said as he pulled her still trembling form into his arms. He looked behind Tauriel as he held her, his eyes meeting the equally worried eyes of his brother and uncle. Balin too looked upset and Bilbo anxious at the elf's clear terror. Gandalf and Elrond were standing in the distance, silent. Kili turned his attention back to his wife, whispering quietly to her. What was going on? Why was this happening to her? He knew she had nightmares, but these day visions were something else entirely and seemed to be getting worse with each passing one. Her screams echoing through the cavern would forever chill him to the bone and he will never forget the helpless feeling he had as she screamed out his name, but did not respond to his touch or calls. It was if she was in another place entirely and it was scaring the young prince.
"Lord Elrond, is there a place I can take her? She needs rest preferably somewhere quiet." Kili looked hopefully up at the tall elf who was studying him as if measuring the dwarf up.
"I can have some of our female healers take her somewhere private, master dwarf. Your friend will be well cared for."
"She is not my friend, she is my wife and I will not be parted from her. Especially in this condition. A private room is all I ask for. It is all I need." The elf quickly looked to Gandalf as if seeking validation of these claims, and the wizard nodded "It is true, these two are joined in marriage."
"Interesting. Very well, I will show you a place you can stay. Follow me."
Fili stepped forward to help Kili but the dark-haired prince shook his head. He easily adjusted Tauriel who was still desperately clinging to his neck, though her trembling had somewhat calmed. Getting to his knees first, he easily lifted the very light elf into his arms and followed the tall Lord out, not caring if the company was following or not. He had more important things to focus on.
Lord Elrond guided them through several hallways and Kili was beginning to hear the hearty laughter of his companions before they turned into a room off from where the rest of the company had gathered. Close, but private.
"I hope this will do. Are you sure I cannot have a healer come?"
Kili shook his head. Tauriel hated being a spectacle. He knew she would be much more comfortable with her family caring for her. A look up and he caught the eyes of his uncle and brother who had followed him. He knew they would.
"Should you need anything, all you need is to but ask." He then gave a small bow of the head after looking at the elf in Kili's arms for a moment longer and left the room. Gandalf must have stayed behind, as it was only their family in the room.
Kili placed Tauriel on the feathered mattress in the center of the room. The room itself was smaller than their marriage chamber in Ered Luin but the open windows made it seem much larger.
Kili thought Tauriel had fallen asleep but as he settled her down, he noted her still wide eyes looking at him earnestly.
"Why don't you get some rest." Kili suggested, kissing her forehead gently but she shook her head no and pulled him to sit beside her on the mattress.
"I do not wish to close my eyes. Everything was just too real and too recent. It is all I see."
"Do you need anything? Something to drink or eat little sister?" Fili came around the other side of the bed. Again Tauriel shook her head but reached her free hand to Fili's as her eyes turned to Thorin.
"What is it Tauriel. What is haunting you so dear one?" Thorin took a seat at the end of the bed.
It always amazed Kili how affectionate Thorin was with Tauriel. Thorin was not naturally an affectionate Dwarrow, he had known that his entire life being raised by the normally aloof Dwarrow king. He loved them, of that he always had no doubts of. Thorin was a fierce protector of his family. Yet, when it came to Tauriel, there was a new side to Thorin Kili rarely saw himself with exception of a few times in his own life. Although, since their miraculous return to the living, Kili has seen more than one change in his uncle. Perhaps this is what comes from learning from mistakes and appreciating the gifts we are given. He smiled appreciatively to his uncle from his position beside Tauriel.
Tauriel looked to the three dwarves that made up the majority of her family. In more than 600 years of life she had been taught showing emotion was a sign of weakness. It meant you have not yet mastered the ability to shield yourself from the world, or, even more so, you have allowed the world to manipulate your feelings. Her job was to stand in near silent vigil beside the elven king, only speak when spoken to, and report as necessary. Elves pride themselves in being calm and centered in all times. Something Tauriel always struggled with. The fire that burned within her had her in trouble more than once as she spoke from her heart.
She had to learn to tamp down her emotions, hide them as best she can, and control her desires to see and experience, to laugh and even, cry. It was not until she came to Ered Luin that she actually felt like she could be herself. She didn't need to hide her emotions, her hurts, her excitements. She was free to feel, love, and share. As the Dwarrows taught her. As her family taught her.
"It is difficult to explain, but I think…I think I am seeing something. Or remembering things from…from our last days." She looked at each one, listening to her intently and after a brief pause, told them everything she saw, in both experiences.
"Oh, little sister." Fili was shaking his head sadly. Kili pulled her further into his arms and Thorin just watched quietly, as if unsure what to do or say to help. He had never heard of such things before and mumbled as much quietly.
The truth was, nobody had an answer. Thorin sighed loudly. "I do not think this is what Manwe had in mind when he said we could keep our memories. I have not experienced anything such as this. Nightmares yes, but these are much more than mere dreams Tauriel."
"And they only come when we…"
"Discuss Erabor. But not every time. As I said, it is difficult. I think, I fear I will have them until we have completed what we set out to do. I think it is an omen of what is to come, or what could come."
"Do you think we should seek someone for this? I do not like the idea of you teetering on edge Amralime every time that mountain is brought up. If I could, I would take this from you, I would endure it for you. It is not fair, you giving up so much only to have to suffer continuously."
Tauriel turned to Kili, fire alighting her eyes as she looked directly into his very being. "I have given up nothing Kili. Nothing I would not give a million times over again. If this is the price I have to pay, I will gladly do so for you, for each of you. You are my family. I am sorry for worrying you, and I tell you now I cannot say when this will happen again, but I will bear it knowing when I come back, it will be to you three, and a'mad."
Fili leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Then we will be here to bear it with you. You are stronger than what you see. You are a fighter. A warrior."
"He is right Tauriel. You have the strength, spirit, and heart of a Dwarrow. Even more than that, you are bound to this family. We will be beside you, always."
"All you need to do, my love, is call for us, and we will be there."
Tauriel could not make the words come, how touched she was to have them. She meant it when she said if this was the hardship she had to endure to have her family, she would do it and endure it.
"Thank you. Truly." Was all she could get out.
A crash was heard echoing through the corridor and Thorin sighed deeply and dramatically. "I fear our welcome will be quickly outstayed. Perhaps it is time to go check on the company. Fili, if you don't mind?"
"Of course not uncle." Fili lifted himself from the bed, and with one last glance at the red-haired elf, both left the room.
"Is all this what has been bothering you the last few days?" His voice was quiet and held no mirth, yet she winced all the same.
"Oh. No. Not completely." She wrapped her harms tightly around Kili, just wanting to be near him.
When he didn't say anything, she felt she should explain. One thing she has learned about Kili in the time they have been together is Kili does not like to just sweep things under a rug and let it be. He needs to hash things out, talk them over, and come to a resolution or he will never fully rest. This was one of the things she has had to learn and improve in herself. Sweeping things under a rug and pretending they did not happen were the elven way, at least in Mirkwood. It has been a learning curve and she still isn't proficient at it.
"I was angry at your careless words, but then it grew into something I could not rationalize. Before I could compartmentalize my feelings and frustrations, I did not know where they began or ended. Then I did not know how to make it right. It was like, a bridgeless chasm was forming, you on one side, me on the other, and I did not know how to cross. I am embarrassed to say, some of it was my pride. I wanted to be angry at you. I wanted you to know I was angry. But a larger part of me just wanted you, needed you."
Kili listened quietly. He wished she had come to him, but is he not half the relationship? He was just as in the wrong with this as she. "I should have tried to speak to you." He sighed, an apology already on his lips when she stopped him from speaking by placing her mouth over his, drawing him into a kiss. She pulled back and shook her head.
"No, I do not think it would have done any good, I was being irrational." He went to protest but her lips stopped him once again. Kili was not going to lie, he liked being silenced in this manner. He could not stop the smile breaking out on his face as she pulled back a second time.
"I know I am still learning but I will try to be more open Kili. Though, my dearest husband….. I would tell you, that you need to learn to think before you say sometimes. Mr. Boggins." She mumbled quietly as an afterthought.
"Hey! I thought that is what Balin had said." She rested her fingers on his lips as he continued to mumble. She was not finished.
"There is a 'but' my love." Kili looked incredulously at her, one brow lifted and the beginnings of a smile playing on his lips as he waited for her to continue.
"I would tell you to do such things, but, I do not wish to. Kili I love you for who you are. I do not want you to change. Even if you say the most ridiculous things, which at times, make me want to shoot you with an arrow, it is who you are and believe it or not, one of the things I love most about you. Please do not change Kili."
The last she said as a quiet plea as she buried her face in his chest and wrapped her arms tightly around her solid rock, her foundation. Kili pressed his face into her hair, giving her a hum of agreement before lifting her lips to his own. Two months with very little alone time with his wife had him reaching his own personal breaking point.
Oh, he had had plans, romantic retreats, rendezvous' in the glades, moments in the rivers. With each one came bitter reality. The glades were too open, they got away into the forest once, but came across a very angry bear guarding her cubs and both had to run from the formidable mother….fast, and the river had far too many naked male dwarves for Tauriel's taste…not to mention it was bitterly cold.
So Kili would be damned if he let this perfect private chamber go to waste. Tauriel too seemed perfectly content with where his mind was turning.
"I missed you. Missed just being us." Kili pulled away to look at her, cupping her face in his large hand and leaning his forehead against hers. "I am right here Amralime. I will always be right here."
Closing the distance again she drew him into a deep kiss, her hands sliding from his shoulders to his chest, reveling in the feeling of his hands weaving into her hair. Tauriel was just tugging at his shirt when a pounding knock sounded at the door. Kili dropped his head to her shoulder in frustration, a powerful and agitated groan leaving his mouth, loudly. Her poor husband. He clearly hit his breaking point and she barked out a laugh when he bellowed.
"Not interested. Go away!"
"Kili!" She giggled out as he attempted to resume where he left off, only to rip his mouth from her neck, slide off the bed, and stomp over to the door when the knocking continued.
How did he know it could only have been his brother. Fili, the ultimate interrupter. He swears his brother does this on purpose. Fili even had the audacity to laugh at Kili as he pushed himself into the room once he verified everyone was decent…for the moment… and sat a tray he was holding on a chair near the bed.
"Peace Ki. I will only be a moment, then you two can go back to ravishing each other senseless. I just thought you would want something to eat. Bombur was able to scrape something together that resembles real food. It appears I was just in time too, you two will need the energy." Fili had to duck to avoid the boot thrown towards him.
"Is that the thanks I get for saving you some food. Hurt. I am truly hurt." He placed a hand dramatically over his heart.
"Thank you Fili. He may not look it, but Kili is appreciative too. Kili?"
Kili rolled his eyes then looked to his older brother, who was batting doe eyes at him. "Thanks Fi. Now get out."
Tauriel looked unimpressed but Fili only laughed as he showed himself the door.
"Kili, you should be kinder to Fili, he did not need to bring us anything." Tauriel admonished her husband. Her scolding was met by a predatory growl, however, as her husband all but jumped at her.
"I will sincerely apologize later, but first…"
Tauriel's laughter echoed through the room but soon turned to deep sighs. Eventually, they got to the food…though it was cold.
"Are you feeling better" Tauriel turned to Thorin as he entered the main room the company was gathered in the following morning. Her and Kili had taken full advantage of their little room, unsure how long they would be in Rivendell. They did join the group for breakfast though, fully accepting Fili's teasing and jabs about them with grace as they filled their plates with berries and porridge. The only thing Bombur and Bofur could scrape up.
"Much better, thank you." Tauriel handed Thorin some breakfast then promptly returned to her seat beside Kili. Perfectly content in sitting beside his warmth before continuing "What are we to do? We are not staying here are we?"
Thorin looked to Tauriel and Kili, who had his mouth so full he had not said a word, only nodded a greeting as Thorin sat down. Fili sat on Tauriel's other side, looking at his brother with the same grimace Dis would give when she was torn between being disgusted and finding something endearing.
"I just spoke with Gandalf. He advises we remain here as he waits for a rendezvous. I do not know if it is in our best interests to do so, however. I must say, the elves here have been rather hospitable, and the company can use some real rest. I am inclined to listen, for the time being. We will make other plans as necessary. For the time being, be cautious, say nothing to those not in our company, and…" He turned to his elven daughter, or practically daughter, "If you hear anything, anything compromising of our mission, let me know and we will be making our leave."
"Of course. I will relay all I hear." She quietly agreed. She did not fully trust the elves here, though so far, they have been nothing but kind. She would be interested to see how they interact. She only knew of the elven culture in Mirkwood, she does not know if the dynamics here would be similar or different.
She had her answer sooner rather than later. She let out another heavy sigh as her and Kili made their way through the town, having left the company for a walk through Imladris. Kili wanted to see more of her elven culture, even though she told him, multiple times, she did not believe these elves were similar to her.
"But they are still your people Amralime, so I want to know." He would look at her with wide, curious, eyes and a loving smile. So accepting. So loyal. So…..perfect. Her Kili may not be perfection embodied, but he was perfect for her. How can she deny him?
Which is why she was side by side with her Kili, walking through the paths of the elven city. Kili asking questions here and there. Some she could answer, others she could not. Not many said anything to them beyond greeting, but the looks they were getting were clearly not accepting.
At one point, thinking her wincing meant she was uncomfortable, Kili had dropped her hand. His intentions were to keep his wife from discomfort. Instead, Tauriel turned towards Kili, questioning.
"Is everything alright? Do you wish to go back to the company?"
Kili just looked at her, then at the group ahead, eyeing them. One even came over to Tauriel, an elf maid…he thinks. They all look alike to him.
"Di leithiathon. Di merithodh. Aniron natho. Te harn?" (I will release you. I will protect you. I want to help. Are you harmed?)
Kili bristled beside her. The elf had basically asked Tauriel if she was his prisoner!
"Ego!" (Get TF away!)Kili's frustrated voice growled out. He was not going to stand there and let anyone insinuate he was holding Tauriel against her will. The elf in question's eyes widened almost comically before she narrowed her eyes at the dwarf before her.
"I am in no need of any assistance. My husband and I were just enjoying the city." Tauriel steered her now angry Dwarrow away before either side could say any more and surged past the now muttering group.
"I do not know how you stood it." Kili groused a few paces later. Tauriel looked at her other half curiously. "I knew we could be met with opposition. I do not wish to get us kicked out or start a war. So I felt keeping my mouth closed and my hands from my daggers may stop me from doing something brash."
Kili only shook his head. "No, I understand why you did that, but I do not know how you endured all those looks and words in Ered Luin those first few weeks. It has only been a day and I already want to take my bow to several of these elves."
"It wasn't without restraint Meleth Nin." She gave a mirthless laugh. "I knew I wanted to make a home with you, with the Dwarrows of Ered Luin. Going on a killing rampage and shooting down all dwarves who gave me a dirty look or phrase would not have been a good start."
Kili finally smiled, though it did not reach his eyes. Tauriel took his hand in hers once again and they fell into silence. She felt Kili tense up as they passed another staring group, and Tauriel had had it. She pulled her hand from Kili's, who easily let her go, figuring she did not want another scene. To his shock, and amusement, Tauriel grabbed his face in her hands, and yanked his lips to her own. Connecting them in a deep, passionate kiss in front of the now gawking elves. Do elves gawk? Kili did not care if the answer was yes or no. He was just enjoying the heady kiss his wife had initiated, and he happily returned. After a few moments, she pulled back, gently rubbing her nose with his as she rested her forehead against Kili's, giving it an affectionate press.
"Awe, here you two are." The smooth voice of Elrond broke through the moment between Tauriel and Kili and they pulled apart just enough to look at the elven lord before them. Tauriel held tight to Kili's tunic, her way of showing she needed his support and strength. Kili pecked her on the forehead and moved away, her hand finally releasing the fabric of his top and sliding away as the two turned fully towards the tall elf.
"You will have to forgive my people. They are, surprised, at such a pairing."
"I don't know if I would call it 'surprised'." Kili grumbled quietly. Tauriel looked sympathetically at her husband. It really did bother him, the looks and insinuations. If Kili held her hostage, it would be because she willingly followed and remained. He can imprison her anytime and she would be the happiest of elves.
Lord Elrond just quietly watched the pair, studying them intently. Seeming to come to a conclusion, he smiled. "Would you care to join me for some tea? I wish to hear your story, if you are willing to share."
Tauriel looked to Kili, she did not want to put him in a position where he would be even more uncomfortable, but to her surprise, her husband was smiling and looked to her before giving his answer. With only a year under their belt, it was amazing how well they could silently communicate with each other. His eyes asking if she wished to go, and hers asking if he would be comfortable doing so. Having their answers, both turned to their host and, in perfect synchronization, answered "Of course." Causing an amused hum to come from the tall elf as he gestured for them to join him.
He brought them to a quiet outdoor table, where a tray was placed filled with fruits and tea.
"Now. If you do not mind my asking. I am quite curious how an elf of the Mirkwood kingdom, one of Thranduil's own, came to be married to a son of Durin."
Tauriel lifted her cup to her lips and took a sip, the sweet warm liquid warming her as she thought of where the best place to start would be. Kili too seemed to be contemplating the question, they would need to tread lightly. Tauriel had warned Kili Lord Elrond was rumored to have an astonishing ability to see beyond what people say.
"I was banished by my king for a choice I made, that of which I do not regret. I was originally counseled to seek refuge here, with your people, but my travels over time led me to Bree where I was attacked by an orc party. I was injured, and my horse sensing my need for care flew me through the gates of the nearest settlement which happened to be a Dwarrow settlement. The home of the King, Thorin Oakenshield and his kin. I was in dire need of care, and with only a small amount of animosity, the King took pity on me and my situation and they nursed me back to health." Elrond listened intently to Tauriel's account and Kili applauded her in being honest as well as accurate though the story being a more, believable, version of events.
"I remember that day, the day my life changed for the better." Kili took over, lacing his fingers with her own. They went on, giving a condensed, and subdued version of the year she spent among the Dwarrow leading up to their marriage.
"An interesting tale to be sure. However, I do feel you are leaving a few things out. Such as this connection you to have, the strength of which I have never before witnessed." Both shifted uncomfortably in their chairs.
"I will not pry further, fear not, your secrets are safe here. I have made this promise with the map, and I will do the same with that which is between you both." He turned his kind eyes to Tauriel, knowing what he wished to ask, but wanting to do so in a way as to not cause offence.
"I can see in you, the reason why Thrandiul may have felt he had cause for your leave. You, dear child, are no longer blessed with immortality. Was this the choice you made?" Eyes wide in fear, Tauriel just looked at the elf. The last time an elven king came to this conclusion, she was put in a prison and threatened with execution. She did not know this lord well enough to see whether his intentions were kind or in line with Thranduil's.
As if sensing her fear and trepidation, Kili rose to his feet and stepped protectively before Tauriel. His stance radiating danger.
Two elves at the entrance stepped forward to aid Elrond if necessary, but he waived them off. "I do not mean any harm to Tauriel. I assure you. Please, be seated."
For a moment Kili did not move, his eyes narrowed and Tauriel could see his mind working furiously as he decided if the elf before him was a threat to his family. Tauriel lifted her hand and ran it down Kili's spine soothingly, pleased with her ability to calm him as she felt each vertebrae release its tension as her fingers passed. Finally, Kili fully relaxed and he backed into the chair beside Tauriel. She once again linked their hands, gave him a look filled with love, and silence took over.
"Yes. It is the reason. Though, in truth, I do not fully understand why he became so incensed. I cannot be the first elf to give up immortality willingly."
Elrond looked at the two before him. In his many years in middle earth, not once has he come across a pair with the strength of the bond and the link he felt with this elf and dwarf pair. He had an idea of how it came about, but to be sure…
"Your bond. It is a gift from the maker himself. Something such as this should not be taken lightly nor dismissed as such. A bonded pair." He mused. "Thrandiul sees our gift of immortality as a source of power. As you well know, daughter of the forest, your king fiercely protects his borders, not unlike your mate here fiercely protects you."
"He is not my king." Tauriel shot out, barely before Elrond even finished his thought. "He will never again, be my king. My sword, my bow, and my loyalty fall to my family and those they lead." Her eyes lit like the flames of a forge and Kili could never be prouder of his beloved elf.
The taller elf studied her for a moment. "Thranduil did more than just banish you."
His statement was met with the narrowed eyes of the red-haired shorter elf. "It is true. When he came to the truth, which only took moments, he ordered me into the dungeons and was deciding on my punishment, execution being the forefront of his mind. I was saved by the grace of a friend, who freed me at great possible risk. I left, and never turned back."
"You are very young to have been put under such circumstances and to make such choices." His words were met with indignant mutterings but he pressed on "however, I can easily see why you did as you did. I understand there are things you will not say, and I advise you to keep them close. Some secrets should be kept as that. It is never easy to be parted from the one who completes your soul. I envy your connection, though not your path. Many dangers lie ahead, especially for you. Do not take for granted the gift you have."
"Never." Kili answered resolutely. With one last look and nod, conversation turned to merrier things before Kili and Tauriel bid the elven lord farewell.
"He is not as bad as I thought." Kili mused on their walk back to the company.
"No, it appears his compassion live up to his reputation. Lord Elrond is kind and wise." Tauriel was looking around the twinkling elven city, the sun setting causing a glow as lanterns were lit and fires blazed in torches above the path.
"Are you alright Amralime?" Tauriel hummed, still looking around then turned her attention to her Dwarrow beside her.
"I must admit, I am beginning to get homesick." Kili's heart dropped for her. He looked down at his feet as he thought of what to do to make her happy.
"What do you miss the most?" Maybe he could make her something she could have with her to remind her of the place she gave up for him.
Tauriel hummed, looking in the distance, reminiscing. "Breakfast." Was her final response. Kili drew his dark eyebrows in, looking at her confused.
"Breakfast." He deadpanned.
"Mhm." Seeing the incredulous look Kili was giving her, she apparently needed to elaborate.
"I miss waking up and coming to the kitchen to prepare food. Dis humming as she set about the kitchen, Thorin reading at the table or speaking with you quietly as you both waited for the rest of the family to join, Fili grumpily stumbling in and loading our plates with more food than we can eat. But there's more than that." Kili's eyes shot up to hers. She was not home sick for Mirkwood, she was homesick for Ered Luin! Fascinated, Kili stopped and just stared at his wife.
"I miss the forge, I miss Leotti, and I miss our people. Being here, the elves in their homes surrounded by family, friends, and life makes me miss our day to day life in Ered Luin, Kili."
Without hesitation, Kili drew her into his arms and rocked her back and forth in comfort. Truth be told, he missed his mam, and the comforts of home Bilbo goes on and on about. He never thought he would one day relate to a hobbit and their seemingly incessant need for creature comforts of home, yet here he was, wishing for house and hearth.
With the darkening sky, the couple pulled away and made the final distance to the company who were laughing and yelling out jokes in their provided resting area. Tauriel and Kili placed themselves directly between Fili, Bofur, Bifur, and Oin as they joined in on the story they were telling and the laughter around them. They could not have home, but they are working towards to creating a better one and to restore something stolen from their family and their people.
Kili laughed outrageously at something Fili had said just before Fili popped up, indicating a quick nod to Tauriel, as subtly as possible, then left the room. Tauriel looked confused for barely a moment, but shrugged it off as Bombur drew her into conversation.
Her attention, however, was diverted when the sweetest smell hit her senses. Fili was coming towards her, both hands carrying a platter and directly in the middle, piled high…
"Butter cake! Fili….is that butter cake!" Jumping up, Tauriel instantly went to snag the cake before her but Fili jumped back just in time, laughing.
"Now hang on, gotta make sure everyone is here." Looking around, Fili gave a quick count. "We are missing uncle."
"Fili, I am right here." Turning around, Fili gave a quick, 'oh'.
"What is going on?" Tauriel looked at the smiling faces around her, except for Dwalin, he was not smile, though he was not glaring either so she will take it.
"Fili and Kili here, reminded us today was something special." Thorin stepped forward to stand before the elf pulling a wrapped package from his picket to hand to her. Looking down, Tauriel fingered the package in her hand.
"Happy birthday, Tauriel." Thorin's deep voice rumbled as he placed a kiss on her forehead and stepped back, indicating to the gift. Tauriel's cheeks flamed with the attention, but she began to unwrap the gift to reveal a small metal square. It was barely larger than her hand itself, and she turned the device around in her hand, testing the weight and admiring the markings.
"If you press just here, it opens." Thorin indicated to a small switch in the side. Curious, Tauriel pressed the button and the device sprung open. It was a picture frame! Inside were two pictures side by side. One of her and Kili, and the other of Dis, Thorin, and Fili. Tears sprang to her eyes as she read the inscription etched across the entire bottom of the frame in Khuzdul:
"Family. Blood. Strength. Loyalty. Honor. Happy birthday beloved daughter, sister, and wife. Our cherished one."
"Thorin made the frame, thanks to the elves allowing him to borrow the forge for the day, Kili drew the pictures, and I engraved it. It is from the three of us, though I am sure mam would have put a piece of herself in had she been here."
Tauriel studied the frame with misty eyes before placing it gently on the table and throwing her arms around Thorin, who by now, was no longer surprised when he found himself with arms full of ginger elf. She pulled away to cover Kili's face in kisses as the tears she was holding back fell from her eyes. She turned to Fili, his hands still held the cake.
"I remembered how to make it, and surprising enough, the elves had all the ingredients necessary, though I had to personally churn butter." Tauriel took the platter and sat it gingerly beside her gift and pulled Fili into a hug.
"Oi, they are no the only ones with gif's!" Bofur jumped up and sprang into a song and dance just for her. Bombur was able to put together one of her favorite stews, though the meat was scarce, it was still perfect.
Along with her frame, Oin made her a fresh herb pouch, Dori whipped together some tea from the elves, Balin had repaired one of her bracers which had a tear in it she hadn't had a chance to fix yet, and Ori had made her a very soft set of fingerless gloves which nearly matched Kili's, apart from hers being a beautiful forest green.
Dwalin sat back, watching the group surround the elf. She didn't expect the aloof Dwarrow to say anything and considered it a gift he simply watched rather than glared.
Tauriel happily passed the cake around as she showed off her picture frame and tried on her gloves Ori had made her. This may not be Ered Luin, and Dis was missing, but just for this one night, surrounded by love, laughter, and singing as she sat, Fili and Kili on one side and Thorin on the other, all sharing in on her beloved butter cake, Tauriel felt a semblance of home.
Authors Note Part Two: Yay, Rivendell, and yay, cake :D. Thank you for all the reviews. I should have another chapter up in a week or so. Got finals coming up next week then a break. Yay, break. :D :D :D. See you guys in the next chapter.