Mimosa felt embarrassed and flustered as she walked down the old stone corridors. Her knee high boots tapping rhythmically onto to the white stone as she muttered aloud to herself.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid...I have to keep focused." She scolded in a bitter tone at her previous actions. "I can't control my feelings and emotions, but I can try to not allow them to affect my work."
Mimosa continues her pace past empty rooms and abandoned sections of the wards. The bright blue sky and lazily floating clouds in the afternoon sky are a stark contrast to the turmoil within. She's paying little attention to where exactly she is going, continuing her self recriminations, looking up at familiar paintings or busts for directions.
Two lefts, then a right, past the Silva family crest, and a left at grandfather's head. Mimosa recites internally feeling her pulse jump a little and her palms grow sweaty.
The corridor she enters noticeably cleaner than many of the others, without the usual dusty corners and spider webs in hard-to-reach places. Each large door is polished and smooth, contrasting from the white stonework between the entrances. The sturdy cedar appearing brightly painted with emblems for the designated barracks of each of the Magic Squads. Orbs of white magical light hover from the timber ceiling, impeccably spaces and not too bright for maximum convenience.
Mimosa breezes past the doors showing the Crimson Lions and Silver Eagles, but does pause next to the Golden Dawn. She turns her head and peers at her Squad's medical quarters, pausing for longer than would be needed in ordinary circumstances. Mimosa then looks down at the Golden Dawn cloak, remembering how she'd felt when choosing to join.
Mother and Father would have preferred for me to follow in their footsteps. To join with the Crimson Lions, or the Silver Eagles instead. She thought with some lingering guilt. They were pleased all the same for me to join Captain Vangance instead, but I know it hurt them to see me not follow their advice. I'd also wanted to make my own path away from family, to be less restricted and free to choose what I wanted.
Now though...Mimosa squeezes her cloak with both hands in frustration. I'm not even sure if being a Magic Knight is the right fit for me. And what would everyone think if they thought I had these doubts, that I'm weak? Pathetic?
Mimosa trembles with anger at herself, thinking of the pervious week and just how she's been acting. Her nerves were on edge after the battle, concern for Asta and her cousins had been a distraction, her effectiveness out in the field had been brought under question.
She is only able to halt her train of negative thought and self-pity by remembering amongst her failures there'd been one person who stood out. His comforting words and protective gestures had been an added source of muddiness as of late. But they also did help her self-esteem far more than any of the infrequent praises of her parents.
That's on top of him be ostracised by nearly everyone on first mention of his lack of Magic. But then again the Black Bulls do seem to attract those types, and see the potential beyond first impressions. Mimosa thought with a diminished smile, feeling happy for Noelle at finding acceptance in her Magic Squad.
And here I am, felling sorry for myself because I've not been able to help out directly in battles yet. Sometimes I think Asta is smarter than people give him credit for. Always seeing the end goal, and not allowing any obstacle to get in his way.
Mimosa briefly turns her gaze back to the Golden Dawn door before slowly stepping forward and walking cautiously down the corridor. Her nerves do heighten as she nears the last door but she stiffens herself stops in front of the black emblem at the end of the hall. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before knocking rhythmically on wooden surface.
"A-Asta? Are you awake?" She calls out hesitantly, then immediately cringing. Of course he isn't, he's still out cold. Get your brain together Mimosa.
Mimosa recovers quickly, grasping the brass door handle instead and turning it before walking inside. The room is smaller than she'd suspected, with only one bed and more dust than her quarters. The sheets seem at least of good quality and there fresh air that comes through the open window.
Then again rarely are the Black Bulls tasked with missions that see them sent here. They do have the lowest star rankings after all. Mimosa concludes as to why Asta has such meager accommodations for a Magic Knight.
She walks over to his bedside and sits in a stiff but cushioned wicker chair to his right. Placing her hands in her lap, fidgeting at having a moment of peace next to her crush though unconscious. Looking at his bandages Mimosa's heart aches at remembering his state when she arrived with the assemble Knights. The panic and cold chill that'd rushed though her body when she'd knelt by his side almost made her sick. Now looking back she also felt guilt at how she'd treated Noelle too, with emotions rather than rational thought taking control.
I should apologise as soon as I see her, she didn't deserve that. She was worried too about her teammate being gravely injured. Added with Fuegoleon and Leo's injuries, we were both under stress. And I took it out on the first person I had the chance too. Mimosa thought with a frown, not wishing to dwell on more reasons to be angry with herself.
Mimosa focused on breathing deeply with her eyes closed, to clear the mind of busy thoughts as her Grandmother taught. Or take a tactical pause, as her Grandfather called it. The memories of her grandparents brought a smile to her face and she opened her green orbs with a bit less stress in her gaze.
"I think you'd like my Grandmother Asta. She might not care for your...lack of social graces, but she's been known for being unorthodox too." Mimosa said aloud with a giggle while Asta slept.
"I do want to thank you though, Asta. If it wasn't for Noelle, Leo and yourself Fuegoleon may not still be alive. He and Leo are both in comas right now but there is a chance that they'll be able to recover in time."
"And while I can still speak to you without stuttering, I need to tell you I'm happy you're alive as well. You're a valued member of the Magic Knights, and I hope everyone else can see that after the battle. There are also a lot of people who were worried about you including...Klaus! Yeah, Klaus...he was very worried about you, more than he should as a Magic Knight to be honest. And you've been distracting m- I mean him from HIS work."
Mimosa stops herself, becoming less sure of herself the more she talks. She takes a deep breath and sighs. Not feeling that words can convey what she wants to tell him, and knowing he can't hear her anyway she leans his face. Brushing back his hair softly, his face twitches and seems to relax at her soothing touch. Mimosa smiles sadly, feeling her heart ache again, wishing to herself that she'd have the courage someday to do this with him awake.
Carefully leaning down Mimosa's plump lips tap against his forehead for a few seconds. Her heart races at the fact she is doing this intimate gesture, wanting him to stay asleep but also wake up too. Her nose picks up the residual smells of fire and ash from his hair, along with the natural earthy musk that permeates from every pore. Mimosa's face becomes flush as a vivid thought blinks by in her mind before she can dissuade the idea.
Mimosa hops back into the chair, her right hand on her chest feeling the speeding thumping against her rib cage. It takes a couple of minutes for her heart to slow day finally but she does felt the panic fade and her face cools down. The excitement of the act has left her drained and tired, along with the warm sun to her back and cushioning, a nap in the chair seems like a nice option.
Settling down for what she intents as a short nap she looks at Asta one more time before closing her eyes and finding a comfortable position to rest in.
Hi everyone, I do apologise for my lack of updates. The story has not been abandoned, i've been distracted with real life and have had a case of writers block on how best to approach the next few chapters. Also I messed up on the previous posting of this chapter so hopefully this one is legible.