Extra long one for you all today!
Fun fact: I've been planning this chapter since writing You and Me, so, 10k words later, I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 10
As much as the new schedule she created with Chloe helped give Beca a new sense of peace, it didn't take into account the Christmas season and all of the expenses that come with it. So, while she became more apt to be honest about when she needed help taking care of Macy and when she might be getting slightly overwhelmed with trying to give her sister the best first-Christmas-out-of-foster-care that she can possibly give her, that doesn't mean the last three weeks haven't been completely insane.
Beca has been picking up shifts left and right – whether it be the breakfast shift at Fig's or a brief stint at the station during her now-mandated two hour 'lunch' break – in order to save enough money for rent, food, bills, and Christmas. Macy has been busy with school gradually heading in the 'prepping for high school' direction, and Chloe has been relatively MIA due to it being finals season at Barden. Beca misses her girls more than anything, and she knows it won't be too long before things return to the manageable place that they were able to get her schedule to, but even so. It's been tough.
So tough, that in her exhausted state, mixed with the lovely germs floating around Macy's school, the city, and her various workplaces, Beca finds herself hunched over the edge of the toilet in the middle of the night, holding onto the seat with a white-knuckled grip.
Compared to Beca, Macy is a relatively heavy sleeper. She's never really had any reason not to be. Beca has always been there to watch over her and protect her while she's slept, and because of that, she always got much more rest than her sister. That being said, she's jolted awake on the night following her last day of school for the term, by the sound of someone stumbling into a wall. She stares at the ceiling for a moment, wrapped up in her covers with the only light in her room being the light from the clock, wondering if she should go check to make sure Beca's okay. It isn't until she hears the unmistakable noise of someone emptying their stomach of any contents, that she sits straight up in bed.
Because Beca is never sick. Ever.
Macy can count maybe three times that she remembers her sister being sick. The first was when they were younger, before foster care when they were still living with their parents. Their mom had thought it was just a bad case of strep, but it turned out to be tonsilitis and Beca had to get her tonsils removed shortly after. The next time was a few years later at maybe their third placement. They were living in a house with about five other kids when the stomach bug started taking them out one by one. Everyone thought Beca was going to be able to avoid it, but when Macy got sick and spent the entire time sleeping with Beca in her bed (and having Beca help her do everything and anything), she too, succumbed to the illness. The most recent one wasn't even really getting sick. She had a cold that turned into a sinus infection that stayed for a solid three weeks before she finally caved and asked their foster parents to bring her to the doctor. It was cleared up after a few days of antibiotics.
Which is why, when she hears Beca throwing up, it puts her mind on high alert, instantly shaking any residual drowsiness from her mind.
Macy grabs the sweatshirt that she took off before bed, sliding it back over her torso before creeping out into the hallway. The apartment is still dark, but the bathroom light is on and glowing under the closed door. She taps a few times before opening it slowly, peeking her head around the corner to take in the scene in front of her. "Beca? You okay?"
Beca waves a weak hand at her, her back rising and falling with each labored breath. Her face is hidden behind a curtain of stringy brunette curls soaked with sweat. "Go back to bed, Mace." The statement hardly holds any strength, sounding like all potential energy that could back the request, has disappeared.
Macy watches as Beca's shrunken figure heaves again, reducing her to more coughing and retching, even as she clearly tries to get herself to calm down.
She doesn't wait any longer. Instead, she takes a step into the bathroom, braving the smell, and goes over to her older sister. The same person that has held her and comforted her when she's been in this same position countless of times (because, unlike Beca, Macy manages to get sick multiple times during cold and flu season). The person who wouldn't think twice about doing the same for her. Macy gathers Beca's hair in her hand, eyes widening at the heat radiating off of Beca's body that's made evident as soon as her fingertips brush up against her sweaty forehead. She holds her curls tenderly, not knowing what else to do as Beca gets sick for the third time in the span of maybe five minutes, her body slouching against the toilet.
Doing her best to tie up Beca's hair in some sort of ponytail – give her a break, she hasn't done Beca's hair nearly as much as Beca's done hers – Macy struggles with what else to do. Beca isn't talking, isn't telling her what she needs. She's silent, with the only sounds filling the room being the sound of her vomiting, and her labored breaths following each bout of nausea. She racks her mind for something – anything – to do and finds herself wondering what Beca would be doing in this situation.
She wouldn't leave her side, that's for sure. So, check on that.
She's already pulled her hair back. Kind of. It's loose but it'll do.
But other than those two things and whispering occasional words of comfort, she's at a loss for what to do, and she can't help but feel guilty, because Beca would know. She always knows.
Beca gets sick again, and this time, Macy swears she can see a few tears dripping out of the corner of her eye and onto her flushed cheeks. The rest of her skin looks unnaturally pale – and Beca's always been a relatively pale person. But now, it looks worse. She's pale, and sweaty, and crying, and her hands are shaking from where they're clutching anything they can find for support.
Perhaps it's the weakness in her sister's posture that scares Macy the worst, because, one thing is for sure, Beca is not weak. She's the strongest person Macy knows. So, seeing her like this… it makes her anxiety skyrocket for more reasons than one. Something could be wrong, very wrong, and they'd be here, alone, with Beca potentially in danger and Macy not having a clue in the world as to how to help her. She can't even go get CR because she's already left for her two-week trip up to Maine with her girlfriend.
Swallowing her fear, Macy runs a tentative hand down Beca's back, the same movement the older girl has used on her more times than she can count. "Bec, I'm going to go get you some water, okay?"
Beca lays her head on the spot where her hand is perched on the toilet. "Go back to bed, munch. I'm f—" she stills, the color draining from her face once more. This time, though, nothing comes up. She manages to finish her statement, this time being much quieter than before. "I'm fine."
Macy resists the urge to say 'mhmm', but stays strong, and just pushes herself up off the floor. She moves quickly, heading to her bedroom first to pluck her phone off the charging cable, and then to the kitchen. Macy unlocks the device quickly, her fingers shaking slightly as she navigates the screen, before she finds the contact she's looking for.
This is it. They've made it. Classes are over, exams are done, Chloe and the rest of the Bellas have finished their first semester of college and they couldn't be happier. The only downside of this accomplishment, is that for the next three and a half weeks, they're all going back home to their families. Of course, Stacie and Aubrey will be staying in Atlanta, but Jess is off to Boston and Amy is going somewhere exotic because, according to her, her parents are some sort of Australian billionaires. Ashley is going home to Tennessee, Flo to North Carolina, and who knows where Lilly is going. It makes Chloe's heart hurt that they're all going to be so spread apart for the next few weeks.
The only thing that makes up for it, is the fact that that means she's going to have all that time to spend with Beca.
It's been weird, these last couple of weeks, with everyone getting lost in their own responsibilities. Chloe with finals (Bellas' practices had decreased in frequency with the end of term), Beca with work, and even Macy with school. She still talked to the Mitchell sisters, and even managed to pry herself away from her books for a couple of hours a few times a week, but again, they haven't seen each other with anywhere near the frequency they saw each other prior to now. Chloe knows that Beca has been picking up more hours. This time around, though, it seems she's much more aware of the effects – and that it's temporary. Christmas is five days away and then all of her hard work will have paid off, which is the same way Chloe is feeling about her grades.
For now, with her GPA finally in someone else's hands and the added promise of getting to see Beca tomorrow afternoon after she drops her stuff off at her house, Chloe is perfectly content with sitting in her dorm room with various Bellas spread out across the floor, talking happily amongst themselves, even at the late, 2am hour.
"Do you think we have any shot of making it the finals?" Aubrey lazily asks, sitting beside Stacie on the brunette's bottom bunk, her eyes droopy and hair nowhere near as perky as it normally is. She had a particularly grueling exam schedule, and the exhaustion is clear in her face.
Ashley is the first one to answer, tucked into Jessica's side while leaning up against Aubrey's desk. "Maybe?"
Stacie snorts. "That was convincing."
The few rehearsals that they have had, have been almost disastrous. They managed to make it to semis, but only by a couple of points, something that Alice has pointed out time and time again. Prior to finals, they had been working to perfect their routine – the same dance, songs, and get-up as their Regional performance – and honestly, Chloe hasn't been seeing any difference in how they're doing. Compared to all of the other a capella teams at the competition, even Chloe can see that it was boring. She would never say this out loud, but she'll be surprised if they make it through to the final round.
She would never say that, though.
Instead, her mouth stretches into a reassuring smile. "We'll be just fine. We have a few weeks of downtime, and then when we get back, we'll make it so good that the judges wouldn't even think of not pushing us through."
She catches Stacie and Aubrey rolling their eyes, both of them long having grown used to her constant state of optimism, but everyone else seems to nod in agreement. Even Amy, who has been lounging on Chloe's bed beside her, seems to perk up at the prospect. "Oh yeah, we got this."
A light laugh falls over the room. What started as a night full of excitement and exuberant personalities, has slowly started to dwindle down to just nine girls enjoying each other's company and easy conversation. She has come to love the Bellas and finds it so easy just to be herself around them, which is something she's really only ever felt around Aubrey, Stacie, and Beca. Each one of them is different, but it's those differences that make them work so well together.
In the silence that follows, the quick vibrating of Chloe's phone loudly resounds through the dorm, drawing everyone's attention to the device that lays abandoned in between Chloe and Amy. The blonde, however, quickly reaches for it, grinning like a mad-woman when she manages to grab the phone before Chloe can even think of moving. Amy's eyes flick to the screen with a gasp as Chloe's eyebrows raise expectantly. "Who's Macy? Is this a late-night booty call?"
Chloe's face scrunches in confusion as her heart picks up its pace slightly (she's also a little disgusted because she knows she has a picture of the thirteen-year-old saved for her contact which is undoubtedly staring up at Amy right as she asked). But Chloe can't even acknowledge the joke because she is completely aware that it is two in the morning and Macy should have been in bed a long time ago and would only be calling her if something is wrong. "What? Let me see the phone, Amy."
Amy grins, bouncing slightly on the bed as she holds the phone above her head. The rest of the girls in the room start to laugh at the banter. "It is! I thought you and Shortstack had a good thing going!"
Chloe resists the urge to groan, pushing herself into a position so that she can attempt to reach the phone, which just causes Amy to hold it further away from her. She tries to keep her voice steady, knowing that any sort of worry will almost certainly result in the Bellas asking questions that Chloe doesn't feel like answering. "Amy, come on. Give me the phone."
The phone stops vibrating, Chloe effectively missing the call, which makes Amy's face sink. But, no more than two seconds later, it starts back up, causing Amy to shriek. "Wow! She's persistent!"
For Chloe, though, the immediate call-back makes the color drain from her face. Her stomach churns and her heart continues to pound in her chest. She, of course, talks to Macy multiple times a week – mostly over text but sometimes the occasional phone call or FaceTime when Beca isn't around. But never, not since she and Beca moved into their own apartment (she got the occasional call at night while they were at CR's when Beca had particularly bad nightmares and wouldn't talk to CR about them), has Macy called her in the middle of the night. And certainly not multiple times in the span of two minutes.
Aubrey and Stacie must notice this as well, because before Chloe can protest again, Aubrey's voice is coming from the other side of the room, her two best friends sitting stock still on the mattress and keeping their eyes on the ringing cellphone. "Amy, give her the phone."
Amy frowns, "but…"
Her hesitation is enough for Chloe to finally steal her cellphone back. She ignores Amy's protests and the watchful eyes of every Bella in the dorm room, and quickly answers the call. "Macy?"
"Chlo?" The voice is hesitant, quiet like she's whispering. Like the Macy that Chloe knew a year ago – not the Macy she knows now.
"Hey, kiddo, what's going on?" She watches as confusion washes over her friends, but neither Aubrey nor Stacie react. Instead, they remain still and wait with bated breath to figure out what is wrong.
"Um… I'm-I'm sorry to wake you up. I know you had a lot of tests this week and you're probably super tired…"
Chloe sits up straighter on the bed, pressing her finger up against her ear so that she can hear every word, even though the room is silent. "Don't worry, you didn't wake me up. Plus, I told you that you could call me whenever. Are you alright? What's the matter?" The good thing is, Chloe already knows that Beca made it home from her late shift at the station. If she didn't, the redhead is certain she would have been freaking out long before this call, especially since Macy spent the time Beca was working, home alone in the apartment. The bad thing is, that means that Chloe really has no idea why Macy is calling her or what – if anything – is wrong.
She hears Macy take a deep breath. "I-It's Beca."
Chloe freezes, wishing, more than anything, that Macy would talk faster. But she remains calm because if there is one thing she does know, it's that getting worked up will only make Macy more anxious than she already is. "Okay. What's going on? Is she having trouble sleeping?"
"Well yes, kind of. She woke up a little while ago and…" there's a moment of silence before the words start spilling from Macy's mouth. "She woke up a little while ago and started throwing up and she's still getting sick and I think she has a fever because her skin is really hot but she's pale and shaky and I don't know what to do or what medicine to give her or anything and CR is in Maine and I didn't know who else to call and –"
"Hey, Mace, it's okay. You're okay, and Beca is going to be just fine." Chloe's words cause Aubrey and Stacie to start pushing themselves off the bed, watching as the redhead does the same, moving through the motions of getting her purse ready and trying to find a pair of shoes and a jacket through the mess of Bellas on the floor. "I'm glad that you called me, okay? You didn't do anything wrong… I'll be there as soon as I can, alright?"
Chloe can hear her sniffle on the other end of the line, and it makes her heart break even more than before. Of course the poor kid is freaking out. Her sister, the person that she has always looked up to and has always protected her, is suddenly helpless. "You're coming?"
"I'll be there in twenty-five minutes – half-hour at most. Before I get there, though, can you run one of your washcloths under cold water, squeeze it out, and then lay it on the back of Beca's neck? It should help to start cooling her down."
"Okay, I can do that."
Chloe smiles into the phone. "I know you can. I'm sure you're doing amazing. Just remember to stay calm, okay? Keep breathing and I'll be there as soon as I can. Promise?"
There's another deep breath, and this time, Macy sounds a little more confident when she answers. "I promise. I'll see you soon?"
"As soon as I can. I love you."
"Love you too. Bye."
The line disconnects and Chloe is left to answer the eight questioning expressions being shot her way. She tugs on a sweatshirt and tucks her phone in the pocket, shrugging on a jacket next. Chloe finds Aubrey and Stacie across the room, both of them waiting for any sort of explanation other than the 'who is Macy' question that is sure to be asked eventually. She keeps her explanation brief and succinct, not because she's trying to keep anything from the other Bellas, but more so because she doesn't want to get into a ten-minute conversation with them about her girlfriend's life and her living arrangements before she's even had the chance to ask Beca what she wants to tell people that weren't around when everything was happening. "Beca's sick and CR is out of town. I'm going to head over there and help Macy out."
Both teens frown, not just at the fact that Beca's sick, but at the fact that Macy's home alone to deal with it. And they know how Macy can get in stressful situations like this. Stacie stands, moving to find her own shoes. "I can drive you."
Chloe shakes her head, already heading to the door with her car keys in hand. "I'll be fine. I'm going to need to come back here at some point anyways to grab my stuff for break." She finally acknowledges the rest of the room, confusion written on all of their faces, "I'm so sorry but I have to go. If I don't see you before you leave tomorrow, I hope you all have an amazing break."
Jessica is the first one to stand, wrapping her arms around Chloe and wishing her a good break and a Merry Christmas as well. The rest of the group follows suit, ending with Amy, who mumbles a small apology at the end of her farewell. She's grateful that she does, in fact, get to hug these girls, but with the added goodbyes, she knows that time is ticking away. "Okay, I love you all. Have safe travels home and we'll talk over break." She pauses, flicking her eyes to Aubrey and Stacie. "I'll text you when I know what's going on."
They both nod, saying their own goodbyes, before Chloe is out the door and heading toward the student parking lot.
Unfortunately for Chloe, the first sound she hears upon letting herself in to Beca's apartment, is the sound of her girlfriend dry-heaving in the bathroom. She doesn't even have to think about it. Chloe immediately drops her bag, shrugs her jacket off, and pulls her hair up onto her head, before heading down the hallway.
The door is wide open, with Beca sagging in front of the toilet and Macy sitting beside her, her hand moving in slow circles up and down her back. Beca's hair is in a loose ponytail that is still sticking to her neck, but even through the sweaty locks, she can see the white washcloth peeking out from where she asked Macy to place it in anticipation for her arrival. Chloe moves slowly, crouching down so she's beside Macy and behind Beca. "How's it going in here?"
Macy looks away from Beca's continuous coughing, an audible sigh escaping from her mouth as she pulls Chloe into a tight hug. "Thank you for coming."
Chloe holds her tightly with one arm, feeling the younger girl's racing heart against her chest, with her hand on Beca's back. "Of course. How's the patient?"
Macy's face sinks as she pulls away, the exhaustion and all of the emotions from tonight clearly taking a toll on her. "She doesn't have anything left in her stomach so now it's just like she needs to get sick, but she can't. She's kind of out of it, too."
"Okay. Why don't you grab the thermometer and we can try and see what her temperature is."
Macy seems perplexed for a moment, looking around the bathroom as though waiting for the thermometer to jump out at her. "I don't know if we have one," she mumbles to herself, getting up off the ground and moving around the various drawers, before leaving the room to look elsewhere.
As Macy searches for the device, Chloe takes the time to properly pull Beca's hair back, gathering her curls in a twist and tying it to the back of her head. Sure enough, she, too, can feel the heat radiating off of her girlfriend's body. She doesn't need a thermometer to know she has a fever. She moves her hand in soothing circles just like Macy had been doing and lowers herself so she can speak quietly enough to the brunette. "How're you doing, baby? Can you tell me what hurts?"
With her head laying on her outstretched arm, Beca barely looks up at her. Her eyelids seem heavy, and in the small glimpses that Chloe can catch of her navy blue orbs, she can see how unfocused they are.
"Chlo?" The question comes out as a whisper, confusion lacing the word.
"I'm right here. Macy called me. She went to go find a thermometer."
Beca moans slightly, her eyes closing. "I'm sorry."
"Sh…" Chloe runs her hand over her forehead, pushing the few wisps of hair that are stuck to the skin, back onto her head. "You don't have anything to apologize for. I'm here." A small shiver runs through Beca's body, despite the sweat that is making her pajamas cling to her back. "Do you want to get back in bed? Are you going to be sick again?"
She starts to shake her head but ends up flinching from pain. "I don't wanna move."
"Okay, okay, we won't go anywhere then."
"Chloe, I don't think we have a thermometer," Macy comes into the bathroom quietly, still whispering and with worry covering her enter being.
Chloe gives her a small smile. "That's alright, kiddo. We'll go to the store and grab one tomorrow. Let's get you back in bed, yeah?"
Her eyebrows furrow in confusion, flicking her eyes to where Beca is still laying with her head resting on her arm that's stretched out on the toilet seat. "But Beca…"
"She's going to be just fine. I'll sit with her the entire night." Chloe pushes herself up off the floor, carefully guiding Macy from the bathroom as soon as she gives Beca a gentle kiss on the forehead, one that results in a slight smile tugging at Beca's lips.
She can feel the nerves radiating off of Macy when the younger Mitchell sister climbs underneath her covers, her motions hesitant and apprehensive as she lays down. Chloe crouches down beside her, running a hand over her forehead and through her hair, just like she did with her sister only moments ago. "You did good, Mace. I'm proud of you. I know Beca is too."
Macy shrugs into her pillow, curling into a tighter ball. "Is she going to have to go to the doctor?"
Chloe purses her lips and shakes her head, continuing with her soothing motion. "I don't think so. It's probably just a bug. She's been working a lot and probably hasn't been sleeping the greatest… it's her body telling her she needs to slow down."
"She was doing better."
Chloe gives her a sad smile. She's heard all about what Beca wants to do for the holidays and how she wants to make it special for Macy. They went and got a Christmas tree that is proudly standing in the corner of the living room. Beca bought decorations for the house and has been keeping Chloe updated on the gifts that will be under the tree come Christmas morning. "I know. It'll calm down again after Christmas. She just wants everything to be perfect."
Macy would be lying if she said she doesn't love everything that Beca's been doing for their first Christmas. It's been so long since they had an actual, normal Christmas, and she can't wait until the 25th. But still. She doesn't need her sister working herself to death again. "You'll stay with her tonight?"
"I'm not going to leave her side. I'm going to grab the pillows from her bed, and we'll camp out in there. In the morning we'll go to the store and grab a thermometer and some other stuff, okay?"
Macy nods, her eyes starting to drift closed. "Thank you again for coming. I'm sorry if I ruined your night."
"You could never ruin my night, kiddo. Never. I'm glad that you called. But now I want you to get some sleep, alright? We don't need you getting sick, too."
She gives Chloe a small smile, her finger coming around to hook around the bridge of her nose. Before she fully falls asleep, she glances at the redhead through her long eyelashes. "Love you."
Chloe reaches up and presses a light kiss into the top of Macy's curls. "Goodnight, Mace. Love you too. Sleep tight."
As promised, after closing Macy's door over and hoping that she won't wake up until the morning, Chloe crosses the hallway into Beca's bedroom and grabs two of her extra blankets from the closet, and the pillows that are at the head of the bed. She tiptoes her way back into the bathroom, just in case Beca managed to fall asleep in her absence. Although she isn't asleep, she is no longer hunched over the toilet and is instead leaning against the tub.
Chloe joins her on the floor, putting one of the pillows in between her head and the wall, and placing the other one on her lap. She pats the surface a couple of times after covering her legs with a blanket, watching as Beca gingerly shifts herself so that she can lay with her head on Chloe's lap, but as soon as she's there, she lets out a sigh as her muscles relax. Chloe unfolds the other blanket and carefully covers the brunette's body, her fingers instantly going to work to massage Beca's scalp as soon as she's situated, and Chloe sees her eyes flutter closed.
Much to Chloe's dismay, Beca didn't sleep through the night. She was up again around three-thirty, and then another time at five. But after that, she seemed to finally be able to get some rest. Chloe didn't move from her position on the bathroom floor until ten o'clock the next morning, her body aching in protest when she did.
Luckily, though, Beca seemed to be roughly out of the woods when she staggered out of the bathroom at eleven-thirty. She still was lacking an appetite and was nauseous (but not throwing up anymore, thank goodness), and still seemed to be having a little bit of a fever, which is why Chloe and Macy are wandering the aisles of the grocery store that's around the corner from the apartment that afternoon. At first, Macy had put up quite a fight about leaving Beca home alone, but after she realized that all Beca was going to be doing was sleeping in her bed, combined with the fact that the apartment still smells like vomit, Chloe managed to get her to come with.
"Alright, so I'm thinking we need to grab a thermometer, some fever reducer…maybe ginger ale and saltines or something else that's easy on the stomach. Maybe some soup, too. How does that sound?" Chloe easily plucks a basket from one of the piles, walking with her arm draped loosely around Macy's shoulder. She's sure they look like quite the sight. Chloe is wearing a pair of Beca's baggier sweatpants and a random shirt she found in the dresser because her drawer was empty save for an extra pair of pajamas. Her hair is pulled into a bun on top of her head and she didn't even bother putting any makeup on. Macy, too, is dressed for comfort in a pair of leggings and the Barden sweatshirt that Chloe's parents bought her on move-in day. But it doesn't matter. They're here to get the things on their short list and get back to Beca as soon as possible.
Macy tucks herself against Chloe's side. Despite her minor freak-out last night, she's so glad that she called the redhead. Chloe seems to have such a handle on what she's doing, as though she's been taking care of a sick Beca for years. "Okay."
They make their way through the crowded store, everybody rushing around to get last minute groceries for various holiday parties and dinners. Everyone that they pass has their cart filled to the brim, but it just makes it easier for the pair to navigate the aisles with only their basket.
With the exhaustion from last night weighing down on them, Macy and Chloe work in a content silence, Chloe humming along to the Christmas carols that are coming from overhead. It isn't until they reach the soup section – after spending a solid ten minutes and a phone call to Lisa later talking about different fever reducers – does Macy look truly perplexed. "There are so many different flavors. And brands."
A light laugh escapes Chloe's mouth, the older teen squatting down to peer at some of the lower shelves as Macy focuses on the higher ones. "Oh come on, we figured out the medicine easily enough, this should be a piece of cake. I'd say chicken noodle is a safe bet, right?"
Macy furrows her eyebrows, examining the cans of soup in front of her. "But there are like five different versions of chicken noodle. And that's just from one company."
Chloe pulls a couple of cans from the shelf, piling them in the basket. "I think just normal chicken noodle is fine. Do you see any other flavors she might like? I don't even know if she's going to be up for eating anything but it's worth a shot."
Macy turns her nose up at the can in front of her. "Who would want to eat green split pea soup?"
Pushing herself up so she's standing beside the younger girl, Chloe just shakes her head. "Not me, and definitely not your sister, that's for sure. That one might make her throw-up."
"For sure. Have you seen the way she always looks so grossed out whenever someone orders something with peas at Fig's? It's like she thinks it's the most disgusting thing in the w—"
"Macy?"
Chloe looks over Macy's head, a smile still on her face from the girl's story, at the person who is standing behind them and addressing the younger girl. Like the majority of other people in the store, this girl is pushing a cart, but she has moved to stand beside it, her eyes never once leaving Macy's stock-still posture. Chloe's smile slowly disappears as she watches Macy's fingers move to drum up against her thigh.
Time seems to slow around them, with the mystery person waiting for a response, and Chloe keeping an incredibly close eye on the girl that has quickly become like a little sister to her. The girl who, after what seems like an eternity, turns to face their visitor. Apparently, she's not as confused as Chloe is, because she responds with a barely audible, "hi."
The girl standing in front of them has dark, almost-black hair that hangs down over her shoulders. She's younger, and Chloe thinks that she can't be any older than she is. Her light brown eyes haven't left Macy since she approached them, and that in and of itself makes Chloe want to take Macy and run. But right now, with the color seeming to drain from Macy's face, her feet look to be glued to the ground.
The last time something like this happened, it was when Chloe and Beca were at the Treble party, and the person Chloe didn't know ended up being an old foster brother. She assumes that that can be happening again, and by the look on Macy's face – undoubtedly amplified by the fact that Beca isn't here – it has to be at least something similar.
"H-how are you?" The girl takes a step closer, causing Chloe to move so she is directly beside Macy, ready to push her behind her if necessary. "How's Beca?"
Macy takes a deep breath, pulling as much air in through her nose as she possibly can, before letting it out slowly and shakily. She doesn't answer; instead, she looks up at Chloe, tears glistening in her eyes, and whispers. "Can we go?"
Chloe doesn't hesitate to bring her back into her side, arm wrapped protectively around her shoulder, and is already pulling her away. "Of course. Come on."
Unfortunately, they don't make it more than a few steps down the aisle, Chloe practically dragging Macy beside her, before the girl calls out to them again.
"Wait, Einstein, hold up."
The nickname – one that Chloe has heard both Beca and Cynthia Rose occasionally use in different variations – causes Macy to freeze. She inhales a sharp breath, closing her eyes against the store. Although Chloe doesn't know exactly what's going on, she knows she has to get Macy away from this situation and fast.
She tightens her grip on Macy, keeping her voice at a low volume. "Come on sweetie, it's okay. Let's get out of here."
"Please don't leave." The girl abandons her cart and moves quickly so that she can stand directly in front of the pair. Macy's eyes are glued to the ground, and Chloe watches the stranger with extreme vigilance. Just her presence makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up. "It's been so long. I miss you guys. I just want to talk."
Chloe moves them backward a half an inch, which is about as far as Macy will allow her to move them. She's desperate to create as much distance between them and this person as possible, but it's proving to be difficult as Macy has practically become immobile and they now have a barrier in their way. It doesn't stop Chloe from glaring at the girl, silently warning her to get out of their way. "And she clearly doesn't want to talk to you. Excuse us."
With her arm still firmly around Macy, she tries to move the pair around the girl who is standing in the middle of the aisle, making it incredibly difficult for them to escape. This time, though, at least Macy allows herself to be lead away, only to be stopped by the girl calling out once more and grabbing onto one of Macy's free hands in a last ditch effort to get them to stop from leaving.
Fire erupts inside of Chloe. When she turns around, she knows she's staring daggers into the girl as she roughly – much to her dismay – pushes Macy behind her. "Don't you dare touch her."
The girl furrows her eyebrows in brief confusion, as if to ask who Chloe thinks she is, telling her what to do. She looks around the redhead to try and catch a glimpse of Macy. "Come on, Mace, you know me. I didn't mean for what happened, to happen. I tried explaining it to Beca, but she wouldn't listen."
"You talked to Beca?" Macy's question comes out as a frightened whisper, surprising both Chloe and the girl in front of them.
She nods. "I went to visit her when she was in the hospital to explain why I left but you weren't there and –"
Chloe's jaw drops open slightly as the pieces of the metaphorical puzzle slowly start to click together in her mind.
The girl.
The nickname.
The fact that she visited Beca in the hospital when Macy wasn't there.
Macy's reaction.
And as soon as she puts it together, it makes Chloe's blood boil like never before. The audacity of this person to come up to Macy, when she knows Beca isn't around, and even think about trying to talk to her. The fact that she thought it was okay to even lay a finger on this little girl that has already endured so much pain at her hands.
It makes her see red.
Chloe turns around, her back to the girl as she squats in front of Macy, hands on her shoulders. "Mace, look at me." The urgency in Chloe's voice must be enough to shake Macy from the deepening trance she's been falling into since the sound of her name interrupted any sense of peace that she had. Her navy blue orbs, still swimming in a thin layer of tears, meet Chloe's baby blues, the sight of which brings Macy a great deal of comfort. Chloe lowers her voice even more. "Is this Tara?"
Macy doesn't respond. Instead, she gulps, and allows her eyes to drift closed once more, trying desperately to imagine herself anywhere but here.
It's the only answer Chloe needs.
She takes Macy's hand in hers, standing once more and narrowing her eyes in Tara's direction. Chloe's voice turns into an unrecognizable growl, something that Macy would never have thought would be capable of coming out of her. "Stay the hell away from Macy, and stay the hell away from Beca. If you even think about following us, I will call the police so fast that you won't even make it out of the store."
Tara doesn't say anything, and instead, is left watching Chloe gently – yet without hesitation – leading Macy far away from her and the aisle.
The next twenty-five minutes are a blur for Chloe. She works on autopilot; going to the self-service check out to buy the few things they got for Beca, making sure that Macy is staying calm and actually breathing, all the while making sure that Tara doesn't come within eyesight. Her mind is harried, and with Macy not talking and Chloe still confused as to how this could happen, she is incredibly relieved once they are behind the closed door of the apartment.
Apparently, so is Macy, because as soon as Chloe finishes locking up, she watches the tears start to stream down Macy's face.
Chloe doesn't even say anything. Instead, she just wraps her arms around the younger girl, and holds her close.
She isn't sure how long they stand in the middle of the front entry way, and Chloe doesn't care. She can't even imagine the thoughts running through this poor girl's head right now. After a stressful night and without the comfort of her sister, she just saw a person from one of the moments of her entire life. Chloe knows that she wouldn't be holding it together if it were her.
When Macy's sniffles become less frequent, Chloe quietly asks, "do you want to talk about it, kiddo?"
Macy shakes her head into Chloe, tightening her embrace briefly, before pulling away. Her eyes are puffy and slightly bloodshot, and she continues to wring her hands together. "I'm going to go see Beca."
Despite the fact that Chloe is sure Beca is still sleeping – otherwise she undoubtedly would have come out at the sound of them returning – Chloe knows better than to object. "Okay, sweetie. I'll be right out here if you need anything."
Macy gives her a small nod, before sticking her hands in her sweatshirt pocket, and slowly walking down the hallway toward Beca's bedroom.
Left in the silence of the apartment, Chloe can't help but feel wholly out of her element. Sure, she's helped both Beca and Macy out of a few tough situations. She's seen them at their worst and their best, but this is the one thing she is sure she will never fully comprehend. She wasn't there; she didn't see what they went through, she didn't see what it did to them. Sure, she saw some of the aftermath, but that was through a completely different lens. At that point, she just assumed that's how they normally acted. She didn't know it was a result of something so terrible, that it completely changed their personalities.
And with Beca down for the count and Chloe knowing what happens when Macy is trapped inside her brain for too long, she makes the easy decision to call the one person who might have a semblance of an idea of what to do.
Chloe walks over to the open window in the living room as she dials the number, hoping, more than anything, that Cynthia Rose answers.
Sure enough, after a few rings, her voice fills the other end of the phone. "Hello?"
Chloe leans up against the window, the chilly air being a somewhat welcomed feeling. "Hey, CR, it's Chloe."
"Hey, Red! What's up? How'd finals go?"
A small smile tugs at her lips. Her and CR have undoubtedly grown closer over the last ten months. They only really hang out if Macy or Beca are around, but they text occasionally. "They were fine, thank you. How's Maine treating you?"
"Oh, it's great. Denise is great, her family is sweet. It's been fun. How's it going down there? Has Beca burned down Fig's yet?"
Chloe forces out a small laugh, knowing that it's probably best just to rip the band-aid off. "Fig's is still standing, thankfully, but I am calling you because of Beca. Well, Macy, actually."
CR grows serious. "What's wrong? Are they okay?"
"They're…okay. Beca actually came down with some sort of stomach bug last night and I came over to help Macy."
"Ew, gross. You didn't have to bring her to the hospital, did you?"
"No… no hospital." Chloe runs a hand over her hair, tugging lightly at the roots. "But uh… I took Macy to the store today to pick up some things. Just some medicine and soup and stuff like that. But while we were there, we uh… we saw Tara." Chloe falls silent, as does CR.
"Holy shit… are you serious? Did she say anything? Did you talk to her? Did Macy see her?"
Chloe cringes. She should've just kept going when Tara first started talking to them. She should've known. "She tried talking to Macy. She didn't get very far, but Macy's already shutting down. I can tell."
Chloe hears CR sigh into the phone. "Yeah, I'm not surprised. Where is she right now?"
"She's in laying with Beca. She hasn't gone completely silent yet – she was still talking a little bit before she went in. She's definitely upset though, and Beca is sleeping, and I'm not exactly sure what to do."
"It's good that she's still talking to you. She loves you, Chloe, she trusts you. Everything that you're doing is probably fine. Honestly, if you just sit with her and try and keep her occupied, she's going to be okay. She obviously won't be 100% until she talks with Bec, but you guys have something special, too. She feels safe with you. I know it."
Tears prick at Chloe's eyes. It feels so good to hear that, so reassuring. Especially since it wasn't that long ago that she was feeling jealous of the relationship that Macy and Cynthia Rose have. "Thank you, CR. Really. That means a lot coming from you."
"It's the truth." She pauses, causing Chloe to gaze out the window out onto the street. "I can check in with her, though, if you want. See if she needs to talk about anything that happened that night."
Chloe breathes a sigh of relief. "Would you mind?"
"Not at all."
She doesn't hesitate. "Okay, let me go get her. Thank you, CR, I really appreciate it."
"Don't worry, Red, she's going to be fine. She's a strong kid… this is nothing."
Chloe creeps down the hallway, keeping the phone cradled against her ear. Beca's bedroom door is wide open, but the lights are off and the curtains are drawn. Even in the dark, she can see Beca curled up in a ball underneath her covers, her chest rising and falling, as Macy sits beside her, knees pulled up into her chest.
She whispers as quietly as she can into the bedroom. "Mace?"
Once the younger girl looks up, Chloe waves her over. It takes a moment – and a longing glance at her sister – before she slides off the bed and comes into the hallway. Fresh tear marks are already decorating her cheeks.
Chloe reaches out and runs a hand over Macy's curls. "CR is on the phone and wants to talk to you. Are you up for it?"
Macy glances at the device, and after some hesitation, she takes it in her hand. There's no greeting on Macy's part, but Chloe can tell that CR is talking anyway. She presses the phone against her ear, and though her eyes are still frantic, and her hand may be shaking slightly, Macy is listening – at least a little bit.
And Chloe has never felt more relieved.
Five hours later, Beca finds herself stirring underneath her blankets in an empty bedroom. By the time on her clock, it's only seven, but the darkness in the room makes it seems like it's the middle of the night. She sits up slowly, rubbing her eyes with her fingers, and being pleasantly surprised when she isn't hit by a wave of nausea with the motion. It takes her a minute to focus, but when she does, she can hear someone moving around in the kitchen, and while she isn't exactly hungry, she knows she should go see what's going on.
Beca slowly makes her way out of the bedroom, taking tentative steps as she hugs her torso, glancing briefly into Macy's empty room, before following the noise into the main living area of the apartment. As soon as she's out there, she takes in the scene; the television is playing at a low volume, Macy is curled up on the couch underneath a blanket, her finger wrapped around the bridge of her nose, and Chloe is pouring something from a pot into a bowl.
It makes an instant smile blossom on her face, the first thought rising in her mind being, how did she get so lucky?
"Hey, you."
Chloe jumps, almost spilling the soup as she looks over the counter at Beca, her hair falling out of the bun on top of her head. Immediate relief washes over her as she sees that some of the color has returned to her cheeks, and her eyes are ten times more focused than they were yesterday. She keeps her voice low so as not to wake Macy, who finally fell asleep after a half hour of staring blankly at whatever was playing on TV, with Chloe running her hands through her hair. "Look at you, up and about! How are you feeling?"
Beca comes around so she can wrap Chloe in a hug. "Much better. Thank you so much for coming. And staying."
"Of course, baby. Anything for you." Chloe sinks into the embrace, a growing feeling of dread settling into her stomach. "You feel like eating anything? I made some chicken noodle soup. Well, I heated up one of the cans I bought at the store today, but still."
Beca gives her a small laugh, which is music to Chloe's ears. "You're amazing. Thank you."
Chloe presses a quick peck into her cheek, handing her one of the bowls that she was going to bring down to her room anyway. As Beca sits down at the counter though, the carefree atmosphere is quickly lost. Chloe catches one glimpse of Macy sleeping on the couch and knows that she needs to say something about what happened at the store. Waiting any longer, keeping this from Beca, might just kill her. "Hey, Bec?"
She looks up from blowing on a spoonful of soup. "Hm? What's up?"
"I uh… I need to talk to you about something."
Beca straightens, suddenly becoming much more serious. She puts her spoon down, and watches Chloe carefully. Watches as her girlfriend isn't quite meeting her eyes and how she's shifting from foot to foot like she's nervous. It makes Beca stomach churn more than it was last night. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I just… something happened while we were at the store today and I need to tell you, but you need to promise me not to get more stressed out than you already are because we don't need you get anymore sick, alright?" Chloe knows it's pointless, but she may as well try.
Concern is still etched on Beca's face, the brunette reaching out to take Chloe's hand in hers. "Okay. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out, Chlo. What happened? Did someone say something to you? Did Macy do something?"
"No, no, Macy was perfect, just like she always is." She takes a deep breath, grateful that she can grip onto Beca's hand for support. "But um… we saw Tara, Bec. She came up and started talking to Macy before I could figure out who she was."
The color that had reappeared in Beca's face after last night, all but disappears. Her jaw becomes unhinged, opening just a little bit, as she looks at Chloe, trying to figure out if what she's saying is true. "You saw Tara? Macy saw Tara?"
Chloe nods. "I'm so sorry, Bec, I had no idea who she was, and she just kept talking but I know I should've gotten Macy out of there as soon as I saw how she was reacting I just didn't know what to do and –"
"Hey," Beca stands from her chair, immediately returning to Chloe's side and wrapping her in a hug. "Chlo, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm sure you did exactly the right thing. There isn't a doubt in my mind." She holds her for a second, letting her hand run up and down her back. "Thank you for getting Macy away from her and back here safely."
Chloe sniffles into her shoulder, internally chastising herself for breaking down, but being relieved that she finally has it off her chest. "She's been really quiet all afternoon and hasn't said much. I called CR and she talked to her for a little while, but after that we just sat around. She fell asleep about an hour ago."
Beca pulls away so she can actually look Chloe in the eyes. "You called CR?"
"Yeah, I mean, I wanted Macy to be able to talk to someone that was actually there if she wanted to, and I didn't want you to have to get up any earlier than necessary but…"
Beca presses another kiss into her cheek. "You're amazing, you know that?"
Chloe smiles at the contact, swallowing down another wave of emotions. "I still can't believe that she would just come up to Macy, after everything that happened, and just try talking to her."
"What did she say?"
Chloe shrugs, remembering everything that Tara said, word for word, but knowing that it didn't really hold anything of substance. But she recounts it all for Beca anyway, including the part where Tara grabbed Macy's hand.
As soon as she says it, she can see the anger flash across Beca's face, the brunette shaking her head in disbelief. "I can't believe her."
"Yeah, I thought it was pretty bold." She does not, however, tell Beca about anything that she said to the girl. It's not worth it. "But she stayed away once we left. And I made sure that she didn't follow us back to the apartment."
Beca's heart races just at the idea of Tara somehow finding out where they live. Not that she thinks that her ex will do anything. It's more so out of fear of what it'd do to Macy. She keeps Chloe in her embrace, holding her as close as she can possibly can. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
Later that night, after the kitchen has been cleaned, the apartment is locked up, and all the lights have been turned off, Beca is awoken from where she is sitting on the couch, Macy's head on her lap. She's been dozing off and on since both her and Chloe decided to fall asleep on either side of Macy, but after her eight-hour nap this afternoon, it's been fitful to say the least. This time, though, when she wakes, it's not from insomnia – it's from the soft whimpers coming from Macy's sleeping figure. The same whimpers she's been expecting for hours.
She runs her hand over the girl's head, slowly trying to ease her from the dream, not at all surprised that Chloe remains sound asleep beside them.
"Macy… wake up, munch." Beca's voice is raspy in her throat, drowsiness still masking her thoughts, but she focuses all of her attention on her little sister. Macy's frown deepens, a small cry reaching Beca's ears. She runs her hand over her hair once more, and is about to say something else, before Macy flinches under her touch.
The thirteen-year-old gasps, eyes flying open and flicking frantically around the room until they look up and land on Beca's soft smile and concerned gaze. It takes a minute for Beca's words to register, but as soon as they do, Macy's face crumbles. A sob wracks her body, curling herself into a tighter ball underneath the blanket that Chloe draped over her long ago. She digs herself into Beca's thigh, pulling her legs into her chest from where they were stretched out over Chloe's lap. "You're okay, kiddo. It was just a dream. You're safe. You're at home."
Beca carefully pulls the blanket back, not wanting to startle the poor girl, but also wanting nothing more than to hold her in her arms. She moves slowly, methodically, before she's able to use her sitting position to lift her sister into her lap. Macy's cries don't subside, but she does unwind herself slightly so she can bury her face in Beca's chest, her hand clenching onto the excess fabric of her shirt.
Since moving out of Jack's house, Macy's nightmares have gradually decreased in frequency. They haven't disappeared completely – they probably never will, not for a while – but she's gotten them down to once, maybe twice a month. That being said, Beca's not exactly surprised that she is having one tonight. If there is an increase in her nightmares, they're usually triggered by something that happened during the day. Whether it be hearing something at school, or some sort of memory resurfacing one way or another… and the whole thing with Tara this afternoon would, without a doubt, fall into those categories.
Another sob breaks free from Macy's control, her tears soaking through the fabric of Beca's pajama top. Beca presses her lips into Macy's hair, her curls damp. "Shh… you're okay, munch. You're okay."
"D-don't l-l-leave." Her breath comes out in ragged breathes, eyes closed tightly.
Beca rocks her back and forth. "Never munch. I'm right here."
She isn't sure how long she sits with Macy before her sobs start to quiet, but it's long enough for Beca to be surprised that the noise hasn't even made Chloe flinch. Then again, she was up pretty much all the night before on the bathroom floor with her, so she can't really blame her. Beca keeps her fingers moving through Macy's hair, soft murmurs coming from her lips. But eventually, her cries do turn to sniffles, and Macy's grip gradually loosens on Beca's shirt. She doesn't dare move from her sister's lap, though.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
There's a moment's hesitation, before Macy's whisper can be heard. "I saw Tara today."
"I heard. That must've been pretty scary, huh?"
Beca watches as Macy stares off into the corner of the living room, where their Christmas tree is standing dark. "It was weird."
The older Mitchell sister runs her hand over her forehead. "Weird how?"
"She looked exactly the same. The only thing that was really different was her hair. It was longer." It takes a minute before Macy starts talking again. "After you were in the hospital, I feel like we changed so much, or at least, I changed so much. But she was just… Tara."
Beca presses a light kiss into the crown of her head, amazed at how philosophical her thirteen-year-old sister is being after waking up from a nightmare in the middle of the night. Before she gets a chance to respond, though, Macy is talking again.
"Is it ever going to get better?"
"What do you mean?"
Macy shrugs up against her chest. "Just… better. I shut down whenever I think about her, or Tyler, or Camille, or anything that happened at their house. I'm still having nightmares, and sometimes I just wake up in the middle of the night wondering if you're still in your room or if something happened. It happens at school sometimes, too. When am I going to be normal?"
"Macy…" Beca holds her sister tighter, her heart shattering at the question, and not exactly knowing how to answer. "Munch, we've been through a lot. You've been through a lot. It's not really surprising that you're still feeling like this."
"But when's it going to stop?"
Tears burn at the back of Beca's eyes. No matter how hard she tries, she knows she's never going to be able to protect her baby sister from all the pain in the world. This just happens to be one of those instances. "I don't know, kiddo. I think it's different for everyone. And maybe, if you're truly ready for it, maybe it's time for you to start seeing someone that can help you work through some of this stuff."
Macy tilts her head up so she can meet Beca's eyes. "Like a therapist?"
Beca nods. She's had this conversation countless of times with Meghan, and after what happened with Jack, she's talked about it with Chloe and Lisa as well. She's never really had any interest in bearing her soul to a stranger, and she swore she would never force Macy to go to one unless she was 100% ready. "I'll always be here for you, Macy. I'll always be here if you need to talk, or if you need someone to help you out of whatever rabbit hole you've fallen into. No matter what, I will always be here. But, if you want, we might be able to find someone that can help you deal with some of this anxiety in a way that lets you move past it all."
Macy falls silent once more, and Beca is glad to feel that her heart rate is slowly returning to normal. "Do you think it could really help?"
"I don't know, munch, but it might be worth a shot."
Macy thinks on it for another few seconds, before whispering, "Okay. And Bec?"
If Beca is surprised at her sister's answer, she doesn't say anything about it. Instead, she just hums in acknowledgment. "Hm?"
"Thanks for never leaving."
Special thanks to soxylady27 for the review that helped me figure out the end of this chapter. I just couldn't wrap it up and I thought your idea fit in perfectly :)
Anywho, I'd love to hear what you guys thought about this one! See you Thursday!