Hey readers! First off I want to sincerely apologize for my absence. The end of summer hit me with a new job and I had to say goodbye to one of my beloved pets. But I'm back, and wanted to address my reasons for neglecting the story. 3 Hope the last update was good for you guys. This next chapter will pan out a bit differently than the last few. I want to set up a few flashbacks throughout the series, I think these things are particularly important in regards to what is happening presently in the story. It's a bit of a heavy chapter, and a longer one as well. That's all from me, enjoy! Possible TW: mentions of abusive home situations. All cast and characters of Hey Arnold! belong to creator Craig Bartlett.
Chapter 10: Dissonance
Two years ago:
Turn around if you like me. Turn around if you like me, Sid repeated silently like a broken record. He only cared about English class for one reason, and the recent tutoring he had been forced to take once a week during lunch time only really validated that. It couldn't be helped though, he was too distracted. The auburn haired girl sitting diagonally from him could feel eyes boring holes into her and she turned her head to see his blue orbs quickly avert their gaze. Sid's chest fluttered, she was as close to perfect as a person could get.
Lila Sawyer had lived in Hillwood for close to four years now, and while practically everyone had been interested in her when she first arrived, that had faded now. Not to Sid however, he had become especially infatuated with the young girl, and at fourteen years old puberty only exacerbated that. She had soft brown eyes and she wore her hair in one long French braid, a step up from the pigtails of her youth. She was wearing a denim romper that day, since school had just started back up the warmth of late summer still clung to the air.
Sid loved her freckle-kissed skin, her perfectly coiffed hair and charming mannerisms. She was naturally pretty, she didn't need to cake five pounds of makeup on to her porcelain skin like Rhonda Lloyd, and was smart in a way that wasn't overbearing like Phoebe Heyerdahl. She came from near poverty and a broken home, just like he did. And he found it remarkable how well she managed to keep herself pulled together around their peers and emanated an undeniable air of positivity wherever she went. She really inspired him to try and be better, seeing her in his classes actually made him want to attend, though in truth he didn't always follow through on that.
He had been drinking and smoking a little bit of weed since seventh grade, but she never seemed to judge him for it. She was always amazingly compassionate and kind, even to someone like him who most girls simply scoffed at or looked down upon. He knew they understood each other on a level most people didn't, and coming from a less-than-ideal family situation, he saw the nasty custody battle her parents were currently involved in as all too relatable. He had nothing but empathy for her, and respect as she always had a beautiful smile painted on her face no matter how bad her life may be behind closed doors. No matter what insults her mother may throw at her.
The bell rang, declaring that school was finally over. This was one of his favorite parts of the day, not only because school was out, but because her locker was in close proximity to his. He loved walking behind her, getting whiffs of her perfume and hearing her infectious laughter echo in the halls. He had been trying to work up the courage to ask her out for a while now, but every time he totally choked. He was so unbelievably nervous just thinking about her, let alone talking to her.
Arnold and Lila had been casual friends for a long time, Sid was considering asking him for advice in trying to pursue a relationship with her. But his blonde friend was kind of a shit show at the moment, his parents had just been admitted to an in-patient psychiatric facility after all. Not to mention his weird obsession over Helga. He seemed like he was doing okay for a while there, like he had finally accepted what had happened. He managed to bring his grades up and cleaned himself up for a bit. Of course, things had gotten bad at home again, Sid knew that. Sid knew lots of stuff, maybe even more than Gerald knew.
Sid filled his backpack with the necessary supplies for his homework for the evening, and gave a gentle wave to Lila who beamed and waved back. With a newfound pep in his step, he made his way to Arnold's locker.
"You look chipper today," Arnold said. The blonde boy himself however looked haggard, to put it lightly. He was clad in a black sweatshirt and distressed jeans and had large bags under his bloodshot eyes.
"God you look like shit dude, rough night?" Sid asked.
Arnold sighed as he slammed his locker shut, "To say the least. Any plans for the afternoon?"
"Nah not really, you wanna kick it?"
"Yeah let's," Arnold replied. "I got some beer that needs drinking if you're down."
"Definitely!"
The two boys headed out of the middle school doors. They planned on going up in Mighty Pete, as suggested by Sid who enjoyed the sanctity of the old treehouse. It was perfect because if they got there quickly enough, they could pull the rope ladder up with them, leaving them undisturbed for the afternoon. Mighty Pete was relatively close to the middle school, the only trick was getting there before the younger students did.
They were happy to see that they indeed arrived first and quickly climbed into the trusty old tree fort and pulled the ladder up behind them. Sid couldn't get the thought of asking Lila out out of his head. He knew that there was a Sadie's Hawkins dance coming up, as was tradition for the first semester of middle school. He would have loved to have been able to make her his girl before she decided to try to ask anyone to the dance.
"Listen I got a question for you," Sid started and was rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Arnold looked at him in acknowledgement as he cracked the tab on a beer.
"Sure, what is it?"
"Say there's this girl you like, but you don't know if she likes you back. And she might be totally out of your league, but you can't stop thinking about her ya know? What's the best way to ask someone like that out?"
Arnold raised an eyebrow and chuckled, "There's someone you like, I take it?"
"Uh well...sorta. I dunno, I think I like her," he muttered.
"Girls aren't exactly my strong suit. You'd probably get better advice from someone like Gerald," Arnold admitted, his voice was particularly monotone as he answered the question.
"Well Gerald and I aren't exactly close, that might be kinda weird. I just thought, ya know. You have a little bit more experience than I do. And definitely more experience than Harold and Stinky."
Arnold shot him a look but didn't say anything. He took a long drink from his beer can.
"Listen, I'm probably not the best one to ask. My experience wasn't exactly great," Arnold said.
Sid was getting a bit frantic at this point, he couldn't get Lila out of his mind, he needed help and he needed it now if he was going to land a chance with her before the dance. She wasn't the type of girl to go date-less for a big dance like this for very long. His only saving grace was that it was a "girls ask guys" scenario, and she didn't seem to be expressing interest in anyone. In fact, Sid and Lila talked with one another quite frequently, and a small voice told him that maybe his chances were pretty good. But if he could get his feelings out in the open, that increased his chances of finally having a real romantic relationship with her. And the dance was a great place to start.
"Okay, well say you liked someone, what would you do?" Sid asked.
"Fuck if I know, I don't like anyone."
"Well...what did you do with Helga?" Sid asked and Arnold shot him a dirty look. "C'mon Arnold, I'm desperate here."
"Clearly," Arnold mumbled. "Who is this girl, anyway?"
Sid was petrified of Arnold knowing. He was friends with Lila after, what if he told her? That could ruin the whole thing, and he wanted to do this on his own as much as he could.
"Uh I-I can't say exactly," he responded.
"Whatever you say man. Okay look, just be honest with her and hope for the best. You don't need to make any grand gestures, but a lot of girls like flowers. Simple and not too over the top."
"Right, right flowers. Got it. But what do I do if, ya know...she rejects me?" Sid asked sullenly.
Arnold gave his friend an understanding smile, "You just gotta try and move on Sid. Nothing you can do if she doesn't like you back, trust me."
"What did you do when...well you know? When Helga kicked you to the curb?" Sid asked.
Arnold's eyes fell to the wooden floorboards of the tree house. Try as he might to give proper advice, everything he said felt so superficial and manufactured. Still, he hated to see his friend so torn up like this. Sid had been there through a lot of the aftermath of Arnold's shitty girl problems, the least he could do was try to return the favor.
"That's a hard question to answer. I never experienced something like that before, when she left it was like she took part of me with her. It gutted me. I haven't felt the same since," he answered honestly. Sid looked terrified at Arnold's candor, making him back track. "B-but I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about. Whoever this girl is is nothing like Helga. Any girl would be lucky to have you, buddy."
Helga. Saying her name now felt peculiar to Arnold. Like he was talking about a ghost or some crazy character from one of Gerald's urban legends.
"You really think so?" Sid asked.
"Of course," Arnold replied with a smile.
"Thanks Arnold, I appreciate it."
"Always happy to help, Sid."
He could recall the exact moment he became smitten with the young girl. Seventh grade was something of a roller coaster for Sid, things seemed to be looking up for once in the form of his mother's new boyfriend Mike. Things were great at first, Sid would come home to a new video game or pair of sneakers. His mom suddenly was awash with happiness, and the stress of working two jobs had subsided. The couple moved fairly quickly, with Mike moving in after only six months, right before school was set to be out. Unfortunately, the man harbored a more sinister side that manifested itself in the form of blue and purple bruises - with Sid often taking the brunt of his angry outbursts. As the heat of summer descended upon Hillwood, it was the only time in Sid's life he wished he could be sat in school. Every day was filled with the anxiety of waiting for Mike to return home after work, and what his return might have in store for him.
After taking a fairly rough beating one night, Sid decided to take refuge in the treehouse of Mighty Pete, but was surprised to find he wasn't the only one and quickly recognized the mahogany hair of one of his classmates slumped pathetically against the wall of the treehouse. Seeing tears rolling down the cheeks of Lila Sawyer was certainly strange. She was a girl that practically radiated sunshine and rainbows, and her crying seemed so wrong and unnatural. It was clear she wasn't expecting a visitor as she visibly jumped when Sid ascended the rope ladder of the treehouse. She silently stared at him for a moment, but quickly turned from him. It was clear as her small body shook that the tears were still flowing. It was awkward, and Sid considered leaving the girl in peace, but something about being in her presence calmed him.
He went back the next evening after dinner to find a familiar scene. This time Lila didn't even bother to acknowledge Sid but he didn't mind. Even with the dark cloud looming over her, she exuded a softness and tenderness that enveloped him like a warm blanket. He decided to go the next night, and the next night. Soon it became part of his routine, only occasionally skipping out to throw back a couple beers with Harold and Stinky. It comforted him knowing that there was something he could count on, something that was consistent. As the weeks passed, Lila's crying went from silent sobs and trembling to gentle drops that slowly trickled down her face. One day, she turned and offered Sid a half-hearted smile.
After a month or so passed, they finally found themselves conversing with one another, although it started out rather insignificant at first. The two of them barely said more than a few words, and neither dare ask the other what it was the other one was trying to get away from. It didn't take long after that for them to start speaking much more frankly about the turmoil in each of their respective lives. Sid knew that Lila didn't exactly lead a life of glamour, but was surprised to find out how much of a monster her mother actually was. He knew there was a lot that Lila was probably sugarcoating, and even then it sounded like all the woman did was spew venom and slap her daughter around. Between her mother's manic-depression, her drinking habit and gambling addiction - he admired how strong and kind Lila remained through everything. He couldn't help revelling in the small pleasure he felt knowing that not only was she a sort of constant in his life, but also was privy to her deepest secrets and emotions. They shared something that was truly unique and special and although they weren't tied to one another by a blood bond or anything of that nature, Sid equated their relationship as such.
Lila wasn't just a strong, dependable and kind young woman - she was also strikingly beautiful. There were many nights Sid caught himself thinking about how lovely her snow white skin looked bathed in the silvery moonlight that shone through the windows of the Mighty Pete treehouse. He would often stare at her, lost in thought as he memorized every freckle of her face and the exact shade of her deep brown eyes. Even when she was having a particularly rough day emotionally, he found her unkempt auburn hair and tear-streaked face alluring. And she didn't write him off as some weirdo like virtually every other girl of her caliber in their class. She bestowed upon him many warm hugs over that summer when he was at his lowest, crying silently into the crook of her neck. Lila never judged Sid like everyone else did. She always made him feel like maybe he was worth something, worth more than the shit cards life had a knack for dealing him.
It didn't take but a couple of months for Sid's mind to become entirely fixated on her. She was the first thing he thought about when he woke up and the last face he imagined before he fell asleep. The nights that he was out with the guys partying or skateboarding he was less than present mentally, and simply yearned to be near her sitting on the treehouse floor. One minute of silence with Lila was better than one hour of goofing around or graffitiing buildings around town with the boys.
It was confusing though, they never got together outside of Mighty Pete. And the times he did see her when their group of peers gathered during those muggy summer days she conversed with him only minimally. Of course, she was always pleasant and cordial and would make an effort in the form of very platonic small talk. She was Lila Sawyer after all, the queen of good manners and decorum. But it felt different. The metaphorical yarn that linked them together felt long and like it was on the verge of snapping. He wasn't completely dense though, he knew that she was miles out of his league. Still though, he held out the hope that maybe he could get her to fall for him. Even if he wasn't exactly great looking and was a little rough around the edges, she always managed to smooth him out. Perhaps he had something of a similar effect on her? It wasn't a totally unreasonable thought. To him, they were two pieces of the same puzzle, and he just needed to figure out how to fit them together.
It was the week before the Sadie's Hawkins dance and Sid was beyond nervous. He had one single long stemmed red rose and a pair of movie tickets he planned on presenting to Lila, since that's all his couch spelunking and mostly empty piggy bank could afford him. Lunch period had just begun, and Sid had been waiting patiently, even finding an excuse to get out of class early to pop the question. He rehearsed a million times in his head how he was going to ask her out, but standing here now all the previous recitations left his mind. He would have to suck it up, he wasn't going to let the moment pass him by.
He was getting antsy, she should be here by now. Lila always stopped off at her locker to collect her sack lunch. It was rare, if ever, that she purchased lunch from the cafeteria, due to her family's financial instability. But finally he heard her voice down the hallway, making his eyes light up. He had to be confident, that much he knew and he stood tall as he awaited her anticipated arrival. However she still hadn't approached the locker as he hoped, and his eyes scanned the hall looking for her.
To his surprise, she was standing at Arnold's locker with him. The two were joking around which wasn't exactly an uncommon sight, but Sid could really do without their banter right now. This is something that was important to him, the day he finally got to ask Lila Sawyer to go out with him. He watched as the two exchanged their goodbyes and his heart raced as she approached the spot where he now stood.
"Hi Lila!" He blurted out, making her jump a little.
"Oh hello Sid! How are you doing today?" She asked warmly. The timbre of her voice did something to him that he couldn't describe. Normally he could hold himself together, but today was different, and his wobbly knees and clammy hands were proof of that.
"I-I'm doing g-great," he stammered before clearing his throat. "Listen, Lila there was something I wanted to ask you."
"Of course. What is it?" She inquired.
This was his chance.
"W-well I was kinda hoping that maybe we could go see a movie together or something Friday night. I saw that they made a sequel to that bunny movie you like, I thought you might like to see it," he asked. "Ya know, I've always really thought you were...cool. I kinda thought it would be nice to hang out again. Been awhile since I've gone to the treehouse, I thought we could hang out alone, just you and I. You know, like a...date?" Sid felt his voice fluctuate about half an octave when that last word escaped his mouth. He could only pray silently that she didn't notice.
Lila's eyes went wide at the black haired boy. Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink, and Sid couldn't help noticing that she seemed uncomfortable as she averted her gaze to the ceiling and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. His gut was telling him that this wasn't about to end the way he had been hoping, but he ignored the gnawing feeling of sadness and embarrassment building up in his stomach. She hadn't rejected him yet, and he still had the near-perfect rose he bought at lunch from Vitello's Flower Shop to help sway her decision. The rose! he remembered suddenly and moved it from behind his back to present to her. He was hoping for a positive reaction, a hug, a smile, anything. But Lila just stared at the rose uncomfortably then at him, and shuffled her feet on the ground, fiddling awkwardly with her hands.
"Oh. Well this certainly is a surprise. Listen, I'm ever so certain you're a sweet guy Sid, but I actually have plans Friday night. With a boy," she explained. He felt his face drop at the announcement. "And to be perfectly honest, I just don't think of you like that. You're an oh so...nice guy and all, but I really just see you as a friend. And...well that's likely all I'll ever see you as. I'm awfully sorry. I hope this doesn't make things weird between you and Arnold."
Sid felt his heart shatter into pieces, No way. She couldn't possibly be saying…
"Arnold?" Was all his brain allowed him to ask.
"Oh yes. You see I asked him to the dance next week, and he seemed oh so happy about it. He invited me to go on the swan boat ride with him, it's just the most romantic thing ever, don't you think?" She asked dreamily. "I hope you're not too upset. I really do think of you as a good friend."
Sid was crushed. How could this have happened? And why Arnold of all people? He doesn't even like her, and here Sid was, ready to sweep her off her feet but wasn't even being given a chance? How the fuck Arnold always came out smelling like posies was beyond him. Kid got his parents back, is friends with half the school and manages to always get the girl. Sid on the other hand came from a shit home, was labelled as something of a pariah, and girls wouldn't even look twice at him. It wasn't fair.
The kid was becoming so unhinged the last couple of weeks it's a miracle he hasn't been committed somewhere alongside his parents. Sid had no idea that when he introduced him to the party scene last year that his blonde friend would take to it as much as he did, but no matter what he did he always got a pass, even now he always got what Sid always wanted. Sure his parents were a bit off their rockers, but his grandparents always gave him the fucking world. New skateboards, new CDs, new video games, new clothes, anything he wanted he got. The worst part was Arnold would still act like his life was some fucking hopeless disaster, he would never appreciate any of it the way Sid would have.
Everyone thought Arnold was a good boy who was just "a little lost," but was still this great person. And here Sid was, someone who was labelled a weirdo and an outcast for doing a lot less than Arnold did. Why even try to be a good person? It wasn't getting him anywhere, and clearly you could do fuck-all and be considered a saint. Arnold was so insanely self-serving and superficial it was almost disgusting. Helga was always a straight shooter, maybe she was the first that saw through his veil of gallant, do-goody bullshit and that's why she told him to screw off. Surely Sid couldn't have been the only one who saw him for what he really was, right?
Lila looked at him pitifully, which only made Sid more angry, "Ya know what Lila? It's fine. I hope you two have fun." He wasn't being sincere in the least but Lila either didn't care or pretended she didn't notice.
"Oh Sid that's just ever so kind of you to say," she replied with her usual sticky sweet smile before a more awkward one replaced it. "And listen...maybe we should just forget this whole thing, it would be absolutely awful for you and Arnold to have any problems because of me. Anyway, I'm glad we could get this all straightened out but I should really head in for lunch, I'll see you tomorrow."
"Sure. Yeah, that's great. We'll just forget everything. See ya Lila."
Lila wasted no time in closing the door to her locker and making a hasty retreat from the area. The look on her face of something like pity with a faint contorted look of disgust not only angered but humiliated Sid. It was the only time he could ever have described her as ugly. Even nights where she sobbed uncontrollably with matted hair and disheveled clothes, her ethereal beauty was unwavering. But this look was something so different. It was like the antithesis of the person he thought she had arranged itself onto her face to mock him. Sid took the long stemmed red rose in his hands and twisted it over and over until it was shredded and the thorns dug deeply into his palms. Blood trickled out between the fingers of his closed fists and he proceeded to throw the rose in the trash emphatically. He felt his face turn a deep shade of scarlet as tears welled up in his eyes, making them burn.
Fuck love. Fuck Lila. But most of all, fuck you Arnold.
It was clear to Arnold that something was going on with Sid. He was practically avoiding him at school and when he wasn't he was in a foul mood. He tried to talk to Stinky about it, knowing that they were closer, but Stinky didn't seem to have any insight to Sid's sudden shift either, and merely shrugged when Arnold inquired. He wondered if something maybe happened with the girl he had been talking about, but when he thought about asking about it he realized he probably wasn't exactly the most emotionally equipped person to handle his friend's heartbreak. He could barely handle his own, after all. He thought he would feel better potentially trying to get to know Lila beyond the platonic level, but his heart really wasn't in it.
Quite frankly, the girl was boring. She always had given him disapproving looks when she overheard his conversations about having a beer or two or smoking a joint with the guys. Though in all fairness, she never outright called him out for it or seemed too deeply distraught by it. But honestly why should she care, anyway? The two were decent enough friends but they didn't exactly hang out. In fact it was surprising to him when she asked him to accompany her to the Sadie's Hawkins dance. She was really more of Sheena, Eugene and Sid's friend. He only obliged in taking her on a swan boat ride because she was dropping very heavy hints after he accepted her offer of being her date to the dance.
It was strange how she suddenly was coming onto him so strongly. Maybe she was just lonely? How in the world she decided that he was the one she would invest any romantic interest in was puzzling. But he didn't have anything better to do that night, and he had heard some whispers from the other kids that her parent's divorce was becoming finalized. It had almost felt like he was obligated to at least give her a chance. She was nice enough, and he would be blind to not see that she was certainly an attractive girl. She wasn't necessarily his type, not anymore, though he knew his nine year old self would have jumped at the opportunity to escort her on a swan boat ride. Not to mention a junior high dance. It's just that nowadays he preferred someone with a bit more substance to them.
Arnold would have been lying if he said he was looking forward to Friday night with Lila. As expected, she was all honeyed smiles and started off with what was generally pleasant conversation. He hadn't slept well the night before and circling the pond in the shoddy little swan boat was making him a bit dizzy. Lila asked him about his hobbies, of which he practically had none of at the moment. Gerald convinced him to stay on the team for their last year of middle school, though he was surprised they hadn't booted him yet. He only made it a point to go to practice maybe once a week.
She asked about Gerald and Phoebe, and continuously made annoying observations about their relationship. Phoebe didn't make much of an effort to get to know Arnold beyond their current acquaintanceship, with which he gladly followed suit. The two had something of a falling out after Helga left and she made a point to lecture Gerald about how "off the rails" Arnold had gotten. Gerald tried to assure his blonde friend that his girlfriend was just concerned, but Arnold already had resented Phoebe for refusing to communicate with Helga on his behalf. Gerald quickly grew tired of being in the middle, so the two agreed to drop their feud and act civilly for the sake of his sanity.
At one point as Lila and Arnold circled the pond on the swan boat, she asked about his family, "Oh Arnold it must be ever so wonderful to have your parents back. How have they been adjusting to life in the city? They must be oh so happy to be back at home."
Arnold flinched at the question, they were just about the last thing he wanted to talk about. Didn't she hear that they had just been sent off to the funny farm? Perhaps not, she wasn't exactly someone who was prone to gossip.
He felt the regret settling in more and more as they paddled around the water; why did he agree to do this again exactly? "Yeah they're okay, I guess. They're having a bit of a hard time, it's just really different for them, I think. Being in the city."
"Oh no, what's been going on? I was ever so hopeful that you all would go back to being a normal family."
God she's irritating, he thought. Her line of questioning was fair though, in fact practically every one he knew had asked similar questions at one point.
"They're just having some...culture shock issues, so they are in a care facility right now," he wasn't about to allow himself to divulge any more details of the nightmare he had been living at home. "But they're adjusting more and more everyday. Plus they're in good health, that's the biggest thing ya know?"
"I suppose that makes sense. It must be hard to go from one life into another so fast like that. I'm sure you miss them very much, but you seem like you're being wonderfully understanding," Lila offered him a small smile before continuing, "And how are you doing Arnold?"
Arnold frowned at the question. How was he doing? It was a question that he had been asked a thousand times over and over the past year, but he always had the feeling that those who asked didn't really want to know. Even Gerald seemed hesitant to pry into Arnold's emotional state of mind, and he couldn't really blame him. Annoying as it was, they were best friends after all. However Lila seemed genuinely curious, it was different.
"Oh uh, ya know - I'm hanging in there I guess. I mean, I'd be lying if I said things have been great..." He answered, his voice trailing off. Lila sat in silence, and he continued pondering the question: How am I?
The truth was of course that Arnold was doing rather terribly, but he wasn't going to admit that to Lila Sawyer of all people. The escalating fighting and paranoia from his parents intermingled with the immense emptiness he had been trying to fill with recreational drugs and alcohol made him nothing short of a walking disaster in the eyes of most of his young peers. Throw in his shitty attendance and slipping grades and it was fairly obvious they saw him as someone who had fallen from grace, so to speak. And he wasn't so dense that he didn't realize how everyone's perception of him had changed. Certainly, they had seen his fragile emotional state as predictable and even understandable after Helga moved, and everyone thought he was over it for a while. But it was clear he was falling back into very poor habits, and people weren't as sympathetic this time around.
Of course his parents were a completely different story altogether. He knew that they were bat shit crazy, and he wasn't exactly empathetic to their current state; he was supposed to be the kid after all. His parents weren't even really to blame for his current behavior and his vices, not fully. They just happened to be the catalyst that sparked some kind of terrible and overwhelming flame inside him. Something that craved to feel any shred of normal human emotion, but was fighting with the cognitive dissonance of not wanting to feel anything at all.
Some of the teachers may have been oblivious to the activities that suddenly inspired him to carry cologne and eye drops in his backpack, or where he disappeared to when he wasn't having lunch in the cafeteria with his best friend Gerald, but most of his classmates were not so blind. Gerald was clearly growing more and more frustrated, and had on more than one occasion threatened to go to some authority about Arnold's clandestine activities, but these were empty as his young friend was nothing if not extremely loyal. And Gerald wasn't completely complacent either, he would sometimes play hooky with his blonde friend to go to the skate park, and even went to most of the parties that Arnold, Stinky, Harold and Sid did. Even if he hardly ever smoked or drank at the functions. At this point Arnold was starting to wonder if Gerald only showed up to play the role of his babysitter.
Arnold was lost in the thoughts of his tumultuous life, and how exactly he got there when Lila's voice suddenly chimed, making him jump.
"I can't say that everything has been so great for me either, Arnold. But I'm sorry to hear that things aren't exactly...ideal. Are you getting along with them anyway?"
He was confused, "Getting along with them? You mean Gerald?"
Lila raised a perplexed eyebrow back at him, "No Arnold, your parents. We were just talking about them, remember?"
Come on, pull it together! he thought to himself before replying. "Oh sure, sorry I guess I sort of lost my train of thought. Yeah, we get along okay I guess," he lied. "Some days are better than others, they just have a lot of shit to figure out. Like how to be parents."
He squeezed his eyes shut when the words came out and he immediately felt regret wash over him. But much to his relief, Lila didn't press him anymore about it. She snaked herself around his arm and for a moment he thought about pushing her away, but admittedly it was very comforting to be receiving some kind of positive attention. Along with everyone else in his life, even his grandparents had started treating him like something of a lost cause these days. But it was clear they didn't have the energy to fully deal with his fragile emotional state. Although in their old age he couldn't really fault them for it, plus they had enough to deal with from his parents. He was their sole focus for so long, he could understand them putting him on the back burner so-to-speak, but he couldn't help noticing that they certainly seemed to be disappointed and concerned.
Lila's arms tightened their hold around his and she laid her head on his shoulder. He felt his body tense up from her touch but still he let her stay. They had been friends, at least in varying degrees, over the years, and while she always seemed to have an on and off fascination with him, this was the closest they had ever gotten. It felt a bit strange and unnatural, but also comforting. Plus she smelled really nice, a bit like fresh linen and strawberries. He was sure that he probably smelled of something like stale cigarette smoke and cologne, but she didn't seem to mind. He felt a bit out of his element, it had been a long time since he had been shown this kind of affection, but he was still painfully aware of the fact that this could never compare to what he once had. It was bittersweet, he had been craving this kind of touch, but it's source was nothing but a cheap stand-in.
Arnold probably should have said something then and there, should have explained how he probably was a very bad thing for her, and how he knew he had little to offer her. How the bubbling tar that was his own heart could never give her even a shred of what she likely wanted from him. But he couldn't. He was keenly aware of how selfish he was being, but he didn't care. It felt nice to be wanted, to be touched, to be seen. He could worry about whatever mess may come about from this later. There was no harm in trying something, right? Who knows, maybe they would fall in love and Helga would be nothing but a shitty memory. Maybe Lila could heal his heart and he could finally sever the probably unhealthy attachment he had felt ever since he stood at the foot of lost temples in the heart of the forest in San Lorenzo with his blonde companion.
Lila let out a small sigh, and Arnold realized how long the two had been sitting in silence. If he was going to try, he should probably shift the focus off of him for a bit.
"What about you, Lila?" he finally asked. "I've...heard some stuff around school lately. You been okay?"
Lila looked up and gave him a small, wry smile. It might have been a trick of the light, but he could have sworn he saw her eyes well up with tears for a moment.
"I'm doing just fine, Arnold."
Arnold was nervously adjusting his tie for the dance. Him and Gerald planned to walk to the school together and meet Phoebe and Lila when they got there. Sid still had been MIA lately, and when he did see him he was certainly less than pleasant. He was starting to wonder if he had done something wrong, but he was fairly positive that nothing negative had transpired. At first he was concerned about Sid being rejected by whatever mystery girl the kid had been going on and on about previously, but now he was concerned that maybe things at home had somehow gotten worse for his friend.
Sid had confided in him a few times, and he was more than empathetic to the situation. Granted, his parents only put their hands on him a few times, and it was usually after some snide comments he made after a night of drinking with his friends. Still, he could do without their sharp tongues and deranged thought processes. But Sid was essentially thrown around like a rag doll. Arnold had seen the bruises and lacerations, he knew Sid could steal a bottle of liquor from his house for him and his friends to enjoy and it wouldn't be noticed. He knew that their classmates looked down on him, and always had. The "poor kid" with a dead beat dad and a shitty mom who let her boyfriend use him as a punching bag just wasn't something that was interesting for them, in fact it made them isolate themselves from the guy.
Arnold sighed and shook his head, he had enough to worry about without all that being thrown on top. He had filled a small flask that he had taken from his father with some weird smelling, clear liquor that his grandparents had kept in a cabinet in the dining room. It was awful, and the aroma reminded him of pine needles and dirt. He hadn't been drinking for a very long time, and he would almost always pick beer if given the choice, but he was nervous and needed to calm his nerves. He only filled the flask about a third of the way, he just needed something to take the edge off. Plus he might need the extra lubrication, Lila was a sweet girl and all but she was basically a dull wind-up doll. He should have fun if he was going to be at some lame dance on a Friday night.
Gerald soon arrived and the boys walked towards the junior high school together. His friend went on and on about how excited he was to see Phoebe in a nice dress, and how he was looking forward to getting to make out at the end of the night. Arnold smiled and nodded along, he knew he probably should have been more excited for this, but his stomach was in knots. Gerald continued droning on and on and Arnold occasionally sipped from his flask. His friend was clearly excited for him however, in fact he was talking so much, he almost didn't catch Arnold slyly drinking from the little silver bottle.
"I mean, it's gonna be great man! Think about it, Lila is one of the prettiest girls in school, and now we both have dates on a Friday night. Now whatever you do, don't fuck this-" Gerald suddenly stopped walking and glared at his friend as the silver flask left his lips. "Up... Dude, are you kidding me?"
Arnold flinched and quickly concealed the liquor. "W-what?"
Gerald clapped a hand to his forehead and groaned, "Come on Arnold, what the hell? It's the Sadie's Hawkens dance, not a fucking house party."
Well the latter sounds much more appealing, Arnold thought and rolled his eyes at his friend.
"Gerald it's fine. Lots of kids do it, half the football team is probably tanked right now."
Gerald sighed, "Alright, alright. But what's Lila gonna think? Isn't she pretty straight-laced?"
Arnold shrugged and took another sip. Gerald made a face and reeled back from his friend, "Damn what is that stuff anyway? I can smell it from here," He ripped the flask from his friend's hand and gave an apprehensive sniff. "Ugh, gin? Isn't that what old people on diets drink?"
"Oh is that what it is? Give me a break, it was all my grandparents had."
"Whatever. Look, just keep yourself together. If you want this thing between you and Lila to go anywhere, you need to keep your head straight. I might think your drunken cry sessions are...endearing, but it'll creep her the fuck out I can promise you that."
Arnold shook his head but chuckled at his friend, "You want any?"
"Nah man, Phoebe's still on my case from the last time I drank with you."
"Seriously? That was like two weeks ago, and you only had two beers!"
"Yeah well, it is what it is. If I wanna lock lips with her tonight I gotta be on my best behavior," Gerald replied, and adjusted his tie while smiling suggestively at his friend.
"Suit yourself," Arnold replied. He finished the contents of the small flask and stashed it in the pocket of his slacks. They were almost to the school, and he felt warm from the gin. He tripped over himself and started giggling, to which Gerald raised an eyebrow.
"Shit I mighta had a bit too much," Arnold said, still giggling to himself.
"Listen Shortman, pull yourself together. We have a sea of teachers to go through before we get into the gym," Gerald hissed.
Arnold nodded, and did everything in his power to retain his composure. Thankfully, the two boys deposited their tickets and made it through the front lobby without any adult batting an eye at them. They quickly found Phoebe, with Lila following close behind her. Arnold had to admit, Lila looked lovely. The dance was semi-formal, and she donned a sequined seafoam green cocktail dress, it really suited her. It didn't take any time at all for Gerald and Phoebe to disappear into the dense crowd of their classmates dancing and hanging on each other. Arnold was a bit annoyed, he was hoping another couple being there could act as something of a buffer. Now he was all on his own.
"Uh, hey Lila. Thanks for inviting me, your dress looks really nice, by the way," he said awkwardly, trying to make his words sound as clear and normal as possible.
"You're ever so sweet, Arnold. Thank you oh so much for being my date tonight," Lila responded as pink flushed her cheeks. The two stood there not saying anything or looking at each other. He didn't think it would be this difficult, it was just a middle school dance after all. His nervousness was making him nauseous, he could only delay the inevitable for so long.
"You...you wanna dance?" he asked. Lila's eyes lit up and she nodded enthusiastically before grabbing him by the hand and pulling them into the middle of the crowd. The dimly lit gymnasium and heat of the bodies around him was making him nauseous. He could feel the effects of the alcohol deepening, only furthering to compromise his guise of sobriety. He kept tripping over himself, and Lila was giving him a bit of a strange and suspicious look. He pulled her into him to try to keep his cover from being blown, and he sighed with relief when she giggled coyly and wrapped her arms around him. He laughed along with her as they swayed to the music, she looked up at him curiously for a moment before quickly plastering on her sticky sweet smile and put her head back against his chest.
Does she know? he wondered to himself. Not that he cared that deeply about it. Though he would prefer not to ruin her whole night if he could help himself.
The two continued dancing, and even laughed during Arnold's less than graceful moments. Maybe she didn't care about the drinking, or maybe she thought he was just insanely clumsy? Either way he was kind of relieved, he could do with one less lecture in his life. He was actually kind of having fun, much to his surprise. Certainly more than he expected. And more importantly, Lila looked like she was enjoying herself too, it was nice seeing her laugh and smile like that. It was weird though, when did he start considering her feelings like this? She really was a lovely person, and that dress did wonders for her blossoming figure.
If they could have just this one night like this together, he was fine with that. He was fairly confident that things probably wouldn't end well for them, but Arnold didn't care anymore. After all, he had already fallen from the pedestal he had been perched upon for so many years. All he knew was that, in this moment, he felt something that resembled happiness and regardless of all the possible ways that this could fall to pieces, he was going to stay in the now and enjoy himself.
Sid sat on the bleachers, it didn't take long for his eyes to find Lila amidst the crowd. She was breathtaking, her pale skin wrapped in faint green sequins, the hem of which showed a generous amount of her dainty legs. It took him about a full five minutes of observing for him to discover that Arnold was obviously intoxicated. He expected an angry spectacle to unfold between the two, and why shouldn't it? Lila was a good girl, she wouldn't tolerate his blatant drunkenness. It was so painfully obvious, and Lila wasn't a stupid person. Surely she would catch on.
His eyes narrowed as the scene of Arnold and Lila falling over each other and laughing unfolded on the dance floor. She deserved better than that, she deserved a person who would worship the ground she walked on. Who would go above and beyond to make sure her night was one that was special and unforgettable. Not someone who would tarnish the memory by getting trashed. Someone who clearly didn't even care to be there.
What was it that Lila saw in Arnold? He was just some miserable little prick who wallowed in his own fucking misery. He could never see Lila the way Sid did. He could never begin to understand what she was going through. There was so much that had happened that he wanted to tell her about, like how Mike finally walked out on him and his mother. Granted, the woman was a complete and utter disaster now, and she had no problem letting Sid know how it was all his fault but he didn't even care anymore. Her words didn't hurt him now as much as they might have in the past, the fucker was gone, Sid was finally free. Plus he was finally staying with his dad again, sure it was only every other weekend and he definitely wasn't going to be getting any "dad of the year" awards any time soon, but he was trying. Maybe he shouldn't have been trying to bond with his son by buying him beer, but Sid wasn't going to complain.
None of that mattered now though, as the one thing he had only ever truly wanted was flouncing around with some halfwit that could give two shits less about her. Arnold didn't even have the decency for one night to be in his right mind. Sid would have given it all up, the parties, the weed, the alcohol, the drugs; all of it to be with her. Why couldn't she see that? Why couldn't she have just given him a chance? It's not like he was a terrible looking guy, sure Arnold had more of a classically handsome sort of appearance, but Sid wasn't ugly. Was she attracted to how much of a disaster of a person he was? Was it some weird complex where she wanted to save the bad boy and tame him to be a good, loving boyfriend? If that was the case, she had no idea how in over her head she was.
Maybe, just maybe Lila was a terribly naïve middle school girl. This was it, this was all Sid really needed to see. Arnold gets the girl, and Sid gets fucked in the ass by the world once again. He didn't need someone like her, someone so fucking blinded by someone as lame as Arnold Shortman. He felt tears stinging his eyes and chuckled to himself. Was this what irony was? Fucked up boy falls for a perfect girl and she couldn't care less about him, only for the girl to fall for another fucked up boy who couldn't care less about her?
He sighed and shook his head. Who was he kidding? It wasn't exactly Arnold's fault that this was going on, in fact - he was perfectly cognizant of the fact that his friend would end things in an instant if he did. Maybe that's all he needed to do, just talk to him before the two get too involved and ask him to put an end to things. In fact, that could end up working in his favor; Lila would be so distraught over her loss of Arnold that Sid would be the natural person she would run to. Now that he thought about it, maybe he shouldn't say anything. Perhaps, things would better benefit him if they were to run the course of whatever joke of a relationship they could manage.
Sid smiled to himself, even as the anger welled inside him seeing the head of Lila rest against the chest of Arnold during a clumsy slow dance. He could still win this, he could still get exactly what he wanted. He just needed Arnold to keep being Arnold, with some encouragement from Sid of course. The kid was a fiend for anything that kept him from feeling real emotions and having to face reality, and Sid was more than willing to help satiate the hunger that his friend had for mood altering substances. He was, if nothing else, a good friend after all.
It had only been a few months that Arnold and Lila had been dating, and their relationship could only be described as rocky at best. At first, Arnold appeared to be trying to make at least something of an effort, not drinking or smoking as much as he normally did and trying to be more present for his classes, but that lasted for all of about a month before they fell to complete and utter shambles.
Most of their peers tried their best to keep a blind eye turned to their tumultuous nature, though it was clear that being Arnold's companion was sucking the life out of Miss Sawyer. Arnold was somewhat conscious of what he was doing to Lila, but he didn't have enough energy or compassion to really care. Taking care of himself was hard enough, let alone trying to take care of another person. He didn't want things to be this way, and he did feel bad knowing that her parents divorce was imminent. But the fact of the matter was that Arnold depended on Lila's sympathy and attention. He felt bad that he couldn't give her even a quarter of what she gave him, but it really couldn't be helped. He wasn't equipped to deal with the emotions of another person. Not hers, anyway.
It wasn't like he was forcing her to stay with him, but their relationship had already been built on her clearly caring much more for him than he did for her. That pace never really changed, if anything the imbalance between them only worsened over time. Arnold didn't realize how having a rebound girlfriend could bring out so much of the toxicity within him. Lila really fought for the two of them to work out, and he was simply an energy vampire feeding off of her compassion and fondness for him. He loved feeling loved, he loved that she would stand up for him to other people, and tried to remind him that good still resided within him. He loved how she fought for him, but he didn't love her.
Lila could be insanely overbearing. She didn't trust Arnold much, and after a while she had no problem letting him know that. It wasn't like he was cheating on her or anything like that, but he made absolutely terrible decisions that kept snowballing into even worse ones. In her mind, it was only a matter of time since he was out of his mind and blacking out all the time, and she was suspicious that he still had feelings for Helga. He liked to pass the time on the weekends by going to bonfires or house parties, but Lila just wasn't the type of person for those functions. She tried to oblige him by attending them on occasion, but she always had a miserable time. He would drink until incoherent, often leading him to suffer panic attacks. He would hang on her and cry about how his parents hated him, and how awful of a person he was. It was getting to be a bit much.
Lila had always believed that Arnold was still a great person, even if he didn't seem like it on the surface. Even if he might be worse now that he ever had been in the past. His friends were clearly aware of how reckless and emotionally damaged he had become, but they did very little to control him. Save for maybe Gerald, who was almost as exhausted by the blonde boy as Lila was. Sid seemed to think it was something of a joke, and encouraged his behavior. Lila figured that maybe he didn't realize exactly how detrimental he was being. Maybe he just needed someone to drink and party with. She was thankful that Sid could at least soften himself and comfort her when she needed it. He'd often be there to reassure her when the two teens had a fight and Arnold drunkenly stormed out of whatever house party they were at that night. He's an asshole, don't worry about it Lila. That's just how he gets, it's got nothin' to do with you. She was thankful that someone could see her side of things, anyway.
Lila was a bit confused as to how things went so awry. When she approached him about the dance all those months back she knew he was struggling again, but she thought he had recovered at least a little bit from the year previous. It was frustrating to her, why did she have to be with him when he was in this state of dysfunction? He was worse now than he ever was. She couldn't help blaming Helga, that girl was always a cold-hearted bitch, not to mention a bully. Sure, his parents were fucking up in their own right, but this all started with her. Someone like Arnold was too kind and compassionate for someone as crass and insensitive as Helga Pataki.
Arnold struggled to admit exactly how bad his parents had gotten to anyone. The façade of a perfectly happy family was shattered fairly quickly, as they were encouraged to pursue normal lives in Hillwood, the exact opposite happened. His mother seemed to be suffering from some kind of agoraphobia, she refused to leave the house, often refusing to even leave her room. She was terrified and suspicious of everything, she got to where she rarely showered and Arnold had to bring meals to her. But even he wasn't free from her increasing paranoia and it sounded like over time she had little interest in much of anything, even seeing her son.
Miles, his father, was a different beast altogether. His distrust of the modern world was far more dangerous. He listened to obscure radio networks that fueled him to brand the world as one that was built upon conspiracy theories and the impending doom of the "new world order." Miles wanted to pull Arnold from school, believing that the public education system would brainwash him. Phil and Gertie weren't having any of that, and since Miles didn't have guardianship over Arnold, screaming matches often ensued. His distrust finally crept it's way towards his own son. He called him a "child of the regime" and would practically lose his mind if Arnold used his phone around him or played video games. He warned Arnold about becoming "complacent" and how the communists trying to control the government would do to his son worse than what happened to him and his wife at the hands of the well-connected, corrupt pirates of San Lorenzo.
The downfall of his parents first happened during Arnold's seventh grade year. He was already a disaster, experimenting with illicit substances and cutting class since the sudden departure of his ex-girlfriend. His grandparents threatened to take drastic measures if Arnold and his parents couldn't pull themselves together. And he was actually hopeful when his parents seemed to demonstrate some improvement as the end of the school year approached, and he seemed to improve along with them, he managed to improve his grades and end the year on a decent path, but it didn't take long for that to fade.
He had such high hopes for the summer, but when his parents' mental states started deteriorating once again, he himself still wasn't stable enough to deal with everything. He was barely fourteen years old after all. In the weeks before his eighth grade year was set to start, he crumbled. Something terrible had transpired between him and his parents, and all of the progress any of them had made was shattered.
Sid was awoken one night by a phone call from a hysterical Arnold. Apparently his father had called him into his room in the boarding house, and was going on and on about his mission to take Arnold, his mother and himself "out of this god-forsaken world," and how they were the chosen ones to lead the green-eyed people and ascend to a better life and that Arnold's father would be the one to "save them." This was, of course, very unsettling for Arnold and even his mother, and he promptly left and hid in his room for awhile. Later though, he decided he would quietly check on them, when he heard what sounded like a woman crying in his parent's room. He was understandably concerned and entered the room in haste, startling his mother who was having a total meltdown. There was a knife on the table, and in her terrible frame of mind just ran at him with it.
Arnold was fortunate to act quickly enough so as not to be skewered by his distraught mother. She had fallen to the floor and sobbed when she realized what she had almost done, begging for Arnold to forgive her. She would say that she didn't mean it, she loved him. She was just scared, she thought he was Miles. Things only got worse when his father entered the door to the apartment behind him. Arnold flipped, he beat his father so badly the man had to be taken to hospital. Luckily his grandfather overheard the commotion, and pulled Arnold off of him before too much damage could be done.
Everything that had happened in the months prior led to this moment, Arnold finally had enough. Sid was instructed to never breathe a word of this to anyone, and he obliged. He was a bit stunned when hearing the story between the sobs of his friend, he couldn't imagine Arnold hurting a fly, let alone his own father. Miles and Stella were admitted somewhere shortly after that. The two boys had a certain kinship between them now, Sid suspected that not even Gerald knew the full story; that Arnold bloodied his own father so badly the man had to sit in a hospital bed for three days.
Sid thought the whole thing was a bit dramatic, it's not like Arnold got hurt or anything, but he was still sympathetic. The two partied for a bit together the first time his blonde friend lost his shit last year, but they hadn't been talking nearly as much the last few months. He was flattered that Arnold would confide in him of all people. Sid wasn't used to being someone that anyone relied on, it was nice to be recognized as more than just the weird kid in a black leather jacket.
But all that had transpired a while ago now. They were already moving into the third semester of school, and Sid couldn't help thinking how absolutely pathetic the kid looked now. Sure, he had some shit he was dealing with. But didn't they all? Why did he think he deserved any special treatment? Kid has a bad year or two, whereas Sid and Lila hadn't ever seen a good year, but he's the only one losing his mind. It was finally working to Sid's advantage though, Lila was starting to hate this version of Arnold. As much as it killed him to see how completely broken she was, he relished that she trusted Sid enough to turn to him, to find solace in him. Nights where Arnold was belligerent and crying or fighting kids at parties, Lila was completely beside herself, and Sid made sure he would be around to pick up the pieces. He would always be there when she needed him, and he knew that one day she would finally land in his arms. He just had to be patient.
And after one particularly eventful night, it seemed like everything was finally falling into place for Sid. Sid and Arnold had arrived at a party at their friend Lorenzo's house accompanied by Harold and Stinky. Lorenzo always made sure he kept the alcohol flowing, and it didn't take long for Arnold to get absolutely plastered. His friends cringed over-hearing him begging for Lila to come, telling her how much fun the party was going to be. To everyone's surprise, she did show up, but clearly annoyed and they fought shortly after her arrival. Sid had snuck a couple of Xanax from his mother, and offered one to Arnold, which he didn't hesitate for a second in taking. Soon he was uncontrollable in his blacked out state. At first it was funny to everyone, as they pushed him around and challenged him to keep shot-gunning beer. But he quickly became a nuisance and was on the verge of being kicked out of the party before suddenly leaving of his own accord.
Arnold wandered aimlessly around the neighborhood, and somehow ended up in a wooded park. His mind was tormenting him and his heart hurt. He remembered someone saying something about his girlfriend, and soon only one person was occupying his brain. He missed Helga so fucking much. Why was he still like this, after all this time? He tried so hard to do well without her, he tried to be the person he used to be. Tried to move on, tried to get a nice girlfriend. But as soon as he started getting better, everything went to shit. Every single time. He couldn't be himself without her. Maybe if she had stayed, things would have been okay, maybe he wouldn't have lost his shit on his dad so bad, maybe they wouldn't have gotten carted off to some hospital. But she didn't, she didn't stay, she didn't love him anymore. His thoughts were muddled and distressed and it wasn't long before he took his phone out of his pocket and called the one person he knew that would answer.
"Liiiilaa," he slurred.
"Arnold where did you go? Why did you leave me here alone?" Lila was bordering on hysterical as she talked to him.
"I'm fucking fine. I jush needed to go on a walk, get off my back," he replied angrily.
"Arnold I'm trying to help you, please. You know I love y-" she started but was interrupted.
"I wanna find Helga. Wheeere? Where's Helga?"
"Arnold, she's fucking gone. You're supposed to be my boyfriend, what is wrong with you?" she said, her voice was breaking as the words came out.
"I just, I really missh her. I really fucking miss her. I miss her so fucking mush. I-I want Helga," his voice was raising and Lila felt her heart sink as the words came out.
"Why? How could you possibly miss her? I've done everything for you, how can you do this to me right now?" she asked in a near whisper.
His sobs came through the other end of the phone in response, and his voice continued to increase in volume as he kept rambling on incoherently. He began screaming and all she could make out was Helga's name on occasion, and every utterance of it was like a punch to the gut.
"Arnold, where are you? Just tell me where you are," she begged. Most of the party had started listening in on the conversation. Sid and Stinky were observing the state of Lila, when Sid suddenly rammed his elbow into his friend's ribs.
"Man what a disaster, huh?" he asked in a low voice. "She's a total mess! Looks like the honeymoon's over, right Stink?"
Stinky shot him a dirty look before grabbing his coat and putting on his boots.
"Stinky what the hell, you leaving?" Sid asked but his friend just shook his head and exited out the front door.
God what's gotten into him? Sid wondered to himself. His eyes quickly fell back to a crying Lila, who held cradled her phone into her hands.
Seeing her like that was bittersweet, it was hard seeing her so upset and being treated so terribly, but he also knew this was his chance. He would be the one to comfort her, the one to make it better. Then she would finally realize who had always been there for her. It would finally dawn on her: she should have picked him at the beginning. He sat next to her as she continued crying. The rest of their peers had grown uninterested and moved to another part of Lorenzo's large residence to escape the tension and keep the party going.
"Hey Liles, you okay?" Sid asked softly, putting an arm around her shoulders.
"Oh Sid, he's awful. Absolutely awful," she said as she fell slumped into his chest. His heart skipped a beat. "He still talks about her. I don't even matter to him, it's oh so obvious that he doesn't care about me. Not even a little bit."
"I can't believe that Lila. You're great, honestly. You're a fuckin' catch, I don't get how he could even think about the likes of Pataki when he has you. I mean, shit, I know I'd give just about anything to have someone like you," he said. Lila looked up and gave a very half-hearted smile.
"Really Sid? You really mean that?"
"Of course I do! I mean, c'mon, you're like the prettiest girl in school. You don't deserve any of that shit. He should be here begging for your forgiveness, but he's who knows where crying about her? Forget him," he said.
Lila wiped her tears and nodded, "You know what? You're right Sid. It's just...it's been hard. I really tried to help. I tried ever so much to get him back to a good place. But h-he basically used me. Used me to make himself feel better, but where is he? Now that I'm the one who's upset?" she shook her head angrily and sighed. "I dunno, maybe I should go look for him. He was pretty...messed up when he left."
Sid felt a tinge of annoyance hit him, but he tried his best to remain composed. "Are you sure Lila? I mean, I dunno what exactly he said to you, but you seem pretty upset. Wouldn't it be better to talk to him in the morning? Once he's sobered up a bit? Plus you've had a couple drinks too, haven't you? I just don't know if going and confronting him right now is such a good idea."
Lila sniffed, looked at her phone for a moment before turning it off. "You're probably right. I just can't believe he would talk to me like that. I-I've done so much for him," she said quietly, leaning into Sid as he comfortingly wrapped his arms around her. "It's bad enough he left me here all alone, but then he calls me to cry about her?"
"I know babe, I know. Arnold's just not in his right mind. But I know about all the stuff you've done for him, I see how great of a person you are," he said and ran his fingers tenderly through her loose auburn waves.
"Y-you're a really good person too, Sid. You've always been there for me and I can't tell you how oh so appreciative I am for that," Lila said, and squeezed her eyes shut. "I…I wish I could take back what I did to you at the beginning of the year. With the dance and all. I'm really sorry."
Sid smiled to himself, Bingo.
"Honestly Liles, you got nothin' to be sorry for," he said, delicately placing his forefinger under her chin and lifting it. He used the other hand to gently wipe the tears from her freckled face, and one of her own hands moved to cradle his.
They locked eyes for what seemed like an eternity before he leaned in. And when her lips met with his, his heart and his brain felt like they could explode. It was like someone set off a thousand artillery shells at once from within him. Sid waited so long for this moment, and it was finally, finally here. And Lila tasted exactly as he thought she would, like fucking gum drops and happiness and rainbows or some shit. He breathed in her sweet scent as their mouths opened for one another and their tongues collided. He pulled her onto his lap, and she didn't protest much to his relief and excitement. His arms wrapped around her tightly, he never wanted to let her go. She was his. She was finally fucking his. After all these months, after he had to see her time and time again run to damn Arnold Shortman, he had her.
Their hands hungrily ran over each other, and he wasn't going to let the opportunity pass him up. Sid felt something wet on his cheek, and realized tears were falling down her face. No matter, soon she wouldn't even remember Arnold's name. He would make sure of that. He pulled back and kissed her tear-soaked cheeks and ever so gently ran his fingers up and down the small of her back. She shivered and he took that as the signal he had been waiting for. Sid pressed his lips back into hers and let his hands cup her beneath her shirt, making her gasp into his mouth.
The two teens locked eyes once more before they retreated to one of the guest rooms upstairs, stripped the clothes from one another, and allowed their bodies to meld together into one.
Arnold awoke in his room, fully clothed with his shoes still on. He looked around in a groggy stupor, rubbing his swollen eyes trying to remember what the fuck happened last night, and how he got home. He felt around his pants and sighed in relief upon finding his cell phone still on his person. The battery was almost drained, and as he plugged it in he saw the slew of missed calls and text messages on his home screen. Seven missed calls from Lila, four from Stinky, and about twenty from Gerald.
He was confused, Gerald wasn't even in town, why would he be calling him so late, and so...frequently? Just what the hell happened last night? If his hangover and scraped up knees were anything to go by, clearly he had a rough night.
He opened his phone to find numerous text messages from just about everyone he knew.
Stinky - 11:40 p.m.: "Heard u and Lila fighting i'm coming to get u."
Gerald - 12:12 a.m.: "Dude wtf Stinky just called me in a panic where ru?"
Rhonda - 12:21 a.m.: "Lila just told me everything what the fuck is wrong with you"
Sid - 2:22 a.m.: "yo, lila is stayin at lorenzos. if u wanna skate later just hit me up"
As Arnold went through the messages in order, he got another one in real time. He sighed when Lila's name popped up. Ah fuck.
Lila - 10:46 a.m.: "Call me. We need to talk."
Arnold stared at his phone for a moment, he really didn't wanna deal with this today. He felt like shit, his eyes hurt, his body hurt. He felt completely drained and exhausted and he reeked of alcohol. Damnit, he thought, What the hell did I do last night?
He swung his legs over the bed and kicked his shoes off, changed his clothes and threw a hat on. He didn't have the energy to shower, he just wanted to get whatever conversation was about to go down over with. He marched himself sluggishly down the stairs to the bathroom to brush his teeth. After finishing up and spraying his toothbrush clean, Arnold looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like he aged about three years overnight, with eyes that were painfully bloodshot and swollen. He sighed to himself and took his phone out, found Lila's name in his contacts and called her. The line trilled briefly before she picked up.
"Meet at the park. Half an hour. Please don't be late," Lila said to him on the other line. She had hung up on him before he even had a chance to respond.
Arnold left a short while later, after sending texts to Gerald assuring him that he was fine and had (somehow) made it home in one piece, and to Stinky to try and get an idea of what exactly transpired the night before. It was chilly out, winter had taken the city into it's cold, icy clutches and all of Hillwood was blanketed under a delicate layer of snow. Arnold didn't mind winter, but he could have done without having some awkward meet up in the freezing cold. Couldn't they go to a coffee shop or something, at least? Knowing Lila, she had to make this as annoying as possible, of course she wanted to meet at the stupid park.
The blonde boy was coming to the bridge over the pond of the park and saw Lila standing there in a lavender coat. Her hair was braided into two French plaits and on her head she donned white, furry earmuffs. As he continued his approach, she eyed him briefly before turning to look out over the edge of the bridge. She was clearly pissed off, he braced himself for whatever tongue lashing he was about to get. Once he was but a couple feet from her, he stood beside her on the bridge, overlooking the ice covered water below. They stood in silence for a bit, with Arnold finally being the one to break it.
"You uh, you wanted to talk?" he asked. She whipped her head at him and her brown eyes were like daggers. He could tell by looking at her that she had been crying.
"Is that all you have to say to me, Arnold?" Lila asked. "Do you even remember any of what happened last night?"
Truth be told, he didn't. He remembered getting hammered at Lorenzo's, he remembered something upset him at the party, so he left. He remembered walking and it was cold, after that his mind was totally blank.
"Well, not a whole lot if I'm being honest. I take it I hurt your feelings or something?" he asked nervously. Lila shook her head angrily, he didn't even understand the gravity of what he did. And this, this reaction of his was just the icing on the cake. She couldn't believe the audacity of him.
"As if that's oh so surprising, huh? Arnold, you are the most selfish, misguided asshole I've ever met," she started. He chuckled softly, and her face went scarlet with anger. "Are you...seriously laughing right now?"
"Lila, I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you, honestly. I'm sorry, really. Please, finish what you have to say," Arnold responded. But Lila was beyond finished, she couldn't believe he could act so casually. He didn't care about the consequences of his actions, he didn't care who he dragged down with him into his pit of despair. She was absolutely gutted and heartbroken, and he just stood there laughing, who does that?
"After you dragged me to a party that I didn't want to go to, drank way too much along with God-only-knows-what else, you left me by myself and yelled at me about your toxic ex-girlfriend after calling me crying. Does any of that ring a bell?" she asked him, seething.
"I mean, a little bit, but not totally. Definitely sounds like me, though," he muttered.
"This is just...this obviously isn't working Arnold. I'm done," Lila said coldly.
"Okay. Then it's done. I'm sorry things were...like this Lila. I really am. You didn't deserve any of it," he said softly. Lila's eyebrows stayed knitted together. She was equal parts disgusted, hurt, ashamed and exhausted.
"Just...just don't be angry with Sid, okay? It's not like we're dating or anything," she said. Arnold quirked an eyebrow at her.
"What does Sid have to do with anything?"
Lila's face flushed red and she looked to the ground, "Not that it's any of your business, but we...well we stayed the night at Lorenzo's. Together."
Arnold's eyes widened, "You and Sid? Wait, did you guys sleep together or something?"
The deepening red of Lila's face made the answer painfully obvious, "Like I said Arnold, it's not any of your business," tears were welling up in her eyes as she paused to take a breath, "Now please, just leave me alone. I don't want to see you."
Arnold said nothing as he turned and retreated back to the warmth of the boarding house. Sid and Lila? he pondered to himself. It was so...bizarre. He remembered the text he read earlier that day, telling Arnold to let him know when he wanted to skate next. Was he going to tell him that he fucked his girlfriend? Was that what that was? Lila he couldn't really blame, Arnold knew that ship had been sinking for a while now, but Sid was supposed to be one of his best friends. How could he do that? As he climbed the front steps of the Sunset Arms boarding house, he grabbed his phone out and called Stinky.
"Hey man," he said when the southern drawl of his friend came through the other line, "Thanks for saving my ass last night," he remarked with a chuckle as he crossed the threshold and closed the front door behind him.