Best Laid Plans Heather Burkett

Chapter 20: Whisper

The next morning I woke up in Edward Masen's arms, momentarily dazed and trying to remember how I'd ended up there.

I was inundated with flashes of memories from the night before.

Lips frantically searching lips.

Hands clawing and clinging.

Bodies twisted together amidst moans of pleasure.

I'd fucking dry-humped my assistant!

I took a mental inventory of my emotions, searching for guilt or remorse; but there was none to find.

I studied his youthful face: the soft-purple hued eyelids with long lashes that rested upon his cheek. His pale pink lips were slightly opened as he breathed deeply in and out, and his copper hair was a riot. Since it appeared we hadn't moved at all in our sleep, I had to assume I had caused the mess as I grabbed and pulled at it last night.

That thought actually made me kind of giddy.

He was young, but there was no denying that the person who lay in my bed was all man.

I traced the definition of his pecs with my fingertips before drawing soft circles around his nipple, watching as it tightened in response to my touch. With my eyes carefully searching his face for a reaction, I leaned forward, kissing the puckered flesh gently and being rewarded with a soft sigh from Edward.

I watched my fingertips as they danced over his six-pack, playing with the soft hair there. His breathing hitched before becoming steady again. My hand drifted further down, over the silk material of the pants I'd given him, massaging his thigh.

I jumped when he crooned my name, only to find that he was still sound asleep.

Satisfied with my little inventory of Edward's body, I rolled over and slipped out of bed, pleasantly surprised when Edward rolled over reaching out for me, as if he missed me in my sudden absence. I watched on for a moment, smiling fondly when he began to snore ever-so-lightly, assuring me that I hadn't woken him.

I gathered a yellow t-shirt, some black yoga pants, a bra and panties before slipping out of the bedroom, closing the door quietly shut behind me. I stopped briefly in the laundry room to put Edward's clothes in the dryer so they'd be ready for him when he woke up, and then wandered into the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower. I smiled as I realized the small space smelled distinctly of my body wash and Edward's cologne, instantly falling in love with the heady mixture.

I was surprised when I saw my reflection in the mirror. Years of worry and heartache had been erased from my expression, leaving a younger-looking, more rejuvenated woman in its wake. I smiled, absolutely filled with a joy I hadn't known since before my divorce.

I showered and dressed quickly, pulling my hair up into a high ponytail before ducking back into my bedroom to make sure that Edward was still asleep.

I was ravenous and decided to surprise Edward with breakfast in bed. I busied myself making eggs, sausage links and fresh, buttermilk pancakes, singing along to Journey as it played in my head. I was busy whisking the pancake batter when strong arms wound around my waist, surprising me; soft kisses traveling up my neck. "Good morning, Bella." He husked, his breath cool against my ear.

I blushed wildly, smiling as I put down the batter bowl and spinning around in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck, looking up into his beautiful eyes gleefully. "Good morning, Edward." His responding smile was so radiant, it put the morning sun to shame. "Are you hungry?"

His eyes grew dark as he leaned his lips against my ear. "Absolutely starved." He sucked my earlobe between his lips before biting down on it softly.

I fucking whimpered.

I pushed back on his shoulders, not wanting to burn the eggs. "Good! I'm making pancakes." I gave him a carefree smile as I stirred the milky yellow concoction.

"Can I help?"

"Nope, I'll be done in a minute. You just sit down, relax and let me take care of you for a change." I pushed on his hips, turning him around so he was facing out of the kitchen. "Off with you." I slapped him softly on his tight little ass, giggling when he jumped.

He took a seat at the kitchen counter, watching as I busied myself finishing breakfast.

I stopped setting the table when I noticed a look of deep, worried contemplation on his face

"What's wrong?"

He looked up, distracted from his thoughts. "Bella...last night was...I'm sorry."

My stomach dropped, aching painfully. Did he...did he regret it?

"Sorry for what, exactly?" I breathed, the pain spreading to my chest, wrenching my heart.

He shook his head, his eyes shifting away from me. "I just wanted to kiss you. I didn't mean for it to happen the way it did."

My eyes darted downward as I tried to find the words to express what I was feeling. "Edward...last night was...amazing." I bit my lip nervously, feeling the flush searing my cheeks. "Please, don't regret it on my behalf."

He arched an eyebrow at me. "Really, you didn't mind...the way it happened?"

I laughed. Truly laughed. "Edward, look at me. Does it look like I minded?"

He gave me a million watt smile that melted my heart. "Well, then, do you think you might like to do that again sometime?"

"Maybe." I eyed him mischievously, smiling as I bit my lip. "Now, get over here. Breakfast is almost ready."

As we began to eat, Edward reached over, taking my hand in his and trying to read my expression. "So, after last Monday...what changed your mind?"

"Edward, I don't have...the strength...to stay away from you anymore." I hedged.

"Then why did you turn me away last Monday. I didn't understand your reaction when I tried to kiss you."

I sighed, placing my fork down on the table. "Edward, you're practically half my age. That complicates things."

"No I'm not, and age is just a number, Bella. Take away the date on our birth certificates and we're kindred spirits. We like the same food, wine, music..."

I smiled sadly. "That's something a young person would say, Edward."

He frowned. "I could be good for you, Bella. It doesn't matter what other people might think." He swallowed nervously.

"It wasn't other people I was afraid of, until now that you mention it. It was just me. Being with you might be the second most selfish thing I've ever done. I don't doubt you could be good for me. I just doubt if I'm good for you."

He sat, thoughtful. "You doubted you'd be a good event planner, too, and look at you now." He grinned softly. "Stop underestimating yourself."

He raised my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles gently as he looked into my eyes.

After we finished breakfast, Edward helped with clean-up, drying the dishes as I washed them. It felt so normal and domestic that I had to fight the urge to picture it as my possible future. Edward slipped into the bathroom once the dryer went off, probably anxious to get out of the now-stained pajama pants.

I was surprised when there was a knock on the door, opening it to find Alice looking worried on my doorstep. She jumped into the apartment, hugging me tightly. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Alice, I'm fine." I answered, hugging her back.

"I've been trying to reach you since yesterday morning. Why haven't you answered any of my calls or texts?"

Shit – I didn't charge my cell phone.

"I had a wedding to attend to yesterday and, I guess my phone just died last night when I forgot to charge it. I'm sorry, Al. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Jake and Sarah are worried to. You've been M.I.A. for over 24 hours. You may want to give them a call." She advised, glancing over my shoulder. I turned to see Edward had reappeared in the living room behind me, dressed in his all black uniform. "Oh, I'm sorry." Alice looked from me, to him, and back to me again. "I didn't realize you had company."

"Alice, this is my assistant Edward. Edward, my best friend Alice." I introduced awkwardly.

"I didn't realize you were expecting company." Edward advised, somewhat formally. "I should get going anyway. I just got a text from my parents that they'd like me to meet them for lunch in a little while."

"Oh. Okay." I said, picking up the edge in his voice. "I'll call you later?"

"Sure." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

He grabbed his gym bag, carrying it over towards us by the door. He stopped, uncomfortably, as if not knowing what to do. "I'll talk to you later, Bella." He said stiffly. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Alice." He dipped his head toward us before slipping out of the apartment silently.

"Christ almighty, Bella. He's gorgeous!" Ali said mere seconds after Edward closed the front door.

I bit my lip, giggling giddily.

"Now I get what you mean by complicating things. Did he...did he spend the night?!" Her obsidian eyes went wide.

"Ali, I..." I let the sentence hang in the air, not knowing how to finish it.

She looked over at the untouched linens on the couch. "Oh my God, he did! You have to tell me all about it. What happened?"

I could feel my face blush a deep burgundy color. "First, I need to call Jake and Sarah and let them know I'm alright."

She pouted, but conceded, making her way into the kitchen to help herself to a glass of water.

I grabbed my dead cell phone from my purse, wandering into the bedroom to plug it into the charger. Ali joined me a minute later, placing her ice water on the night stand and crawling up into the bed, sitting cross-legged on top of the duvet as my phone chimed that it had enough power to be turned back on. I watched the loading screen as it booted up, then listened as it chimed numerous times with fourteen missed calls and twenty-three text messages. I looked over them quickly and, with the exception of two clients and three different vendors, they were all from Jacob and Alice.

"It smells like sex in here." Ali said mischievously as I dialed Jake.

"Shh, Ali!" I hushed her just as he picked up the line.

"Bella! Are you okay? I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."

"I'm fine, just had a late night," I shushed Alice as she started giggling, "and then forgot to charge my phone. Sorry to worry you. Is everything okay on your end?" I asked.

"Yeah, everything is fine. I'd let you talk to Sarah, but she went to run errands with Sue. Can I have her call you later?"

"That'd be great. I just put my phone on the charger, so I should have a full battery to talk by then."

"Are you sure you're alright? You sound funny." He asked. He'd always been able to read me, much to my disadvantage.

"Yeah, everything's great."

"Sounds like you had a really good night." He acknowledged.

I grinned. "I did."

"Good, I'm glad the event went well. Since I have you on the phone, we're going to the rez Tuesday night for Dad and Sue's anniversary. We'd love for you to come."

"Really?" I asked, somewhat surprised.

"Of course. It wouldn't be the same without you."

Since he would have Sarah Tuesday night, I knew there was no ulterior motive to his inviting me.

"That would be nice, Jake. It's been a while since I've seen everybody."

"Alright, great. Meet us as Sam's house around six. Meanwhile, I'll have Sarah give you a call when she returns. Have a good one, Bells."

"Take care, Jake."

Alice pried the phone from my hands, quickly ending the call.

"Okay, my turn. Soooooo?" She prompted.

I laughed at her impatience.

"Well, he tried to kiss me-"

"Tried?" She interrupted.

"Yeah, last Monday." I answered, sidetracked.

"Oh my God, why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know." I shrugged, running a hand through my hair. "I've just been trying to figure stuff out."

"So, what happened when he tried to kiss you?"

I explained my manic-panic and the resulting distance between us.

"Wow, so, how did you go from that to spending the night together?" She asked, rolling onto her stomach and leaning her chin in her hands, engrossed in the story.

"What can I say? He's charming and dangerously persistent. It's a lethal combination." I laughed.

"So? Was it any good?" She asked excitedly.

"Al!" I admonished, having never talked with anyone like this before. I was already married when Ali and I met, and Leah and I never talked about my relationship with Jacob, so this kind of girl talk was terribly outside my comfort zone. "We didn't have sex, if that's what you mean." I blushed awkwardly.

"Seriously? What did you guys do."

"I dunno. We just...made out." I bit my lip, debating how much I really wanted to go into the details.

Luckily, Ali didn't press for any more. "You sound like a teenager." She giggled.

"I feel like a teenager!" I agreed, joining in the laughter.

"In the eleven years I've known you, I've never seen you like this." She said thoughtfully.

"He's...different. He makes me feel different, too."

"Different how?"

"I don't know. I feel younger. More carefree."

Maybe even a little reckless.

But I left that part out.

"So, what now?" She asked after a moment of deep contemplation.

"I haven't really thought about it." I admitted, suddenly a bit concerned.

She reached out, patting my hand comfortingly. "Don't overthink it, Bella. I think this could be good for you. You deserve to have a little fun."

Is that what this was? Just a woman and her assistant having a "little fun" on the side?

I honestly had no clue.

I was already in bed, just about drift off to sleep when I heard a knock at my door that night. A quick look at my phone alerted me that it was just before midnight.

I threw on a satin robe, tying the belt and padding into the living room as another frantic series of knocks rapped on my door.

I took a peek through the peephole to find Edward standing there, a strained look on his face as he tapped his foot anxiously.

I opened the door, surprised when he stepped past me, bursting into the apartment quickly.

He turned on a dime to face me with a decided look on his face.

"I don't want to be your assistant." He stated blatantly.

My breath rushed out of me as I realized, I'd screwed up.

I'd risked my livelihood on some fling, and this was the dire consequence.

"You're...you're quitting?" I stammered.

"What?" He looked momentarily confused by my words. "No. No! I mean..." He stepped forward, cupping my cheek in his hand. "I don't want to be just your assistant."

What was he talking about?

The hurt and betrayal were clear in his expression. "Is that all I am to you? Is that all last night was?"

"Have you been drinking?" I asked, smelling the alcohol on his breath and noticing the blood shot eyes.

"I had a couple of beers. Answer the question." He demanded.

"I don't understand what you're asking me."

He huffed in exasperation, stalking over and plopping unceremoniously onto the couch. "This morning, when your friend was here, you called me your assistant." He said sadly.

I was utterly confused. "What did you want me to call you?" I asked, walking over quietly to sit beside him.

"I don't know. I just thought..." He huffed, running his hands through his hair, causing the bronze ends to jut out this way and that. "I just thought we'd be more than that."

I looked down at the floor, completely out of my element.

"I don't know what I'm doing here, Edward. I don't know what this-" I motioned between the two of us, "is. I may be older, but I'm not wiser than you in this matter." I explained.

I looked into his bloodshot eyes, and for better or worse, I knew I wouldn't be letting him drive home tonight.

I continued.

"I've been with Jacob – my ex-husband – all my life. We grew up together. Then we dated. We became lovers. Then partners. Then parents. He's all I've ever known." I sighed as I realized how very new this situation was for me. "I'm clueless here. I don't know what you want."

He reached over, taking my hands in his and rubbing his thumbs over my knuckles. "I want everything, Bella. I told you, I haven't dated much because I've never found what I was looking for; I've never met anyone like you." He licked his lips. "You told me to find what I'm passionate about and to chase it, so that's what I'm doing. I've never...I've never felt this way about anyone before."

"Edward, we shouldn't. This...this should have never happened. I'm too much older than you and-"

"I don't give a fuck about our age difference!" He snarled. "Do you want me?"

He leaned forward, his eyes imploring.

"Edward, I don't know-"

"It's a simple question, Bella. Do you want me?" He repeated, his upper body now hovering over mine, the taste of the alcohol on his breath intoxicating me.

"It's not that simple, Edward. I have a family to think about and –"

"Dammit, Bella!" He snapped, taking my face in his hands and crashing his lips against mine. I struggled momentarily, attempting to stand my ground but as his kiss deepened, I found myself caught up in the way his mouth moved against mine, the taste of the beer on his tongue. He kissed me passionately, our breath haggard.

I grabbed onto his shoulders, pulling him closer just as he broke away, leaning his forehead against mine and circling my nose with his. "Do. You. Want. Me?" He asked again, breathlessly punctuating each word.

"Yes." I spoke in a whisper.