Chapter IX:

Warning: This chapter is on the topic of school shootings.

guilt is cancer. guilt will confine you, torture you, destroy you as an artist. it's a black wall. it's a thief.

They always say that there will be moments that will change your life forever. Moments that will define you as a person, shape you to become an even better version of yourself.

It could be as simple as saying good morning to a random stranger. Dropping some loose change in the donation tin. Choosing to go a different route on the way to work. Or maybe pulling somebody of out harms way.

These moments, they say, won't come very often. Most of the time, they will pass without you even realizing they existed.

You, Percy Jackson were my moment. And I was your moment.

You had never talked to me before. And for good reason. Nobody knew who Lavinia Asimov was. But now everybody knows. She is the girl you took a bullet for. She is the girl you saved. She is me. Was me.

I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what made you stand in front of me.

I know I wasn't worthy.

Now here we are. Me by your bedside, writing this letter to you in the hopes that you might someday be able to read it.

The bullet penetrated your neck, and shattered your spine. You are paralyzed now, and it should have been me. Not you.

Why?

Why did you do it? The shooter was after me. You weren't a part of this. But now you are.

I wish I had gotten to know you. Of course hindsight is always 20/20. Every time I saw you, I looked away. You had a future. You had a scholarship to swim. You were the smartest kid in the class. The one nobody could hate. The one everybody loved.

I talked to your mother. I didn't know what to say to her. She told me that you always wanted to "die a hero." You are a hero. My hero.

I'll take care of your step-sister. I will take care of you. I owe you that much. This is a debt that I will never be able to repay.

If it wasn't for you, I would be dead.

And because of you, I am now dead.

Author's Note:

This is probably the darkest story I've ever written. School shootings happen way to often in my country (USA). I'll never understand what pushes someone to that breaking point. The sad and honest truth is that everybody is different. Everybody has their reasons for what they do. This little story barely grazes the topic. Killing is never the answer to your problems. Reach out. People are here to help you. Peace and love.

Disclaimer: Quote by Dave Grohl.