Making Friends

I opened the door cautiously. It turned out to be the entrance to a large subterranean chamber. Barrels and empty crates were strewn about but what drew my attention was the center of the chamber.

A circular skylight cast a dim glow upon a series of docks that floated in a large pool. It was probably better lit when the sun was higher in the sky. Right now, however, more light came from torches lining the rough hewn walls. Several thick ropes attached to the walls kept the docks in place. One of the docks was piled with crates and burlap sacks. A woman sat in the middle of the mess. She was cute but eyed me like I was there to steal her stuff.

The rest of the chamber had several dark alcoves all filled with grimy debris such as broken shovels, empty bottles, and bales of hay. If this was the Thieves' Guild headquarters, Brynolf was not joking about their run of bad luck. In fact, it looked more like a marathon than a run. I was starting to wonder if this would be just a waste of my time and that we just killed a bunch of people for nothing.

I spotted more people moving around on the other side of the chamber. I recognized one as Brynolf. He was standing at a bar talking with a tall blond man dressed in leather armor. I followed a wooden ramp around the pool towards the business end of the tavern. I tried to discern how deep the pool was and if there was anything hidden in its depths. The light from above reflected on the surface too much to see anything. I continued on though they did not seem to notice my approach. Jenassa stopped at the end of the bridge and leaned back against the wall, her arms folded.

"I'm telling you, Dirge, this one's different," Brynolf was saying as I approached.

"You've said that before," the blond said. "Let's just see if this one survives."

"Face it, Brynolf," the barkeep behind the counter chimed in, "You, Vex, Mercer, you're a dying breed."

"Dying is probably what this new fellow is doing right now," Dirge said then laughed.

"You talking about me, muttonchops?" I said, sidling up to the bar.

"Watch your mouth, upstart," Dirge said, brushing his hand over the hair along his jawline. "This here is a proud family tradition."

"I'm sure it looks very stylish... on your mother."

Dirge moved towards me but Brynolf held him back with an outstretched arm.

"Dying breed, huh?" Brynolf said. "What do you call that then? Color me impressed, lad. I never thought I'd see you again."

"To be honest, I thought the test would be to find this place, not to wade through a pack of killers."

"This line of work requires more than a soft foot and light fingers. Sometimes you have to truly fight for what you want, even if it means life or death. Can you understand that?"

I thought of Reldith and what news of her being forced to leave meant to me. "Completely."

"Excellent. Now that I've whetted your appetite with that little scheme in the market, how about taking care of a couple of deadbeats for me? You seem like you can handle yourself."

"Deadbeats, eh? What did they do?"

"It's not so much what they did, but rather what they refuse to do. They owe our organization some serious coin and it's time someone made them understand it does not pay to miss your dues. Do it right and I can promise you a permanent place in our organization."

"Strong-arming isn't exactly what I do best, but I can be flexible and do what is necessary for the team. Does it matter how I go about doing it?"

Brynolf looked me over once again. "Aye, you made it here in one piece but if I had to wager a bet I'd say your hired blade over there did the bulk of the killing. Perhaps finesse would better suit your talents. I'll leave the thug work to Dirge, here."

"Pickpocketing is easier without a broken hand," I agreed. "Any tips you can offer about the marks?"

"Hmm, information is a coin that never tarnishes. You could prove to be quite an asset if you survive. Bersi Honey-hand is the owner of the Pawned Prawn. I've heard of him throwing people out of his shop for touching some urn he keeps in there. At first I thought it was his wife, Drifa, they were talking about. I wouldn't mind some honey on her hand, if you know what I mean. See if you can use that.

"Then there's Haelga at the Bunkhouse. She's a devotee of Dibella. I'd be careful touching anything in there, if you know what I mean. But there might be something she finds precious that you can leverage.

"That leaves Keevara at the Bee and Barb."

"I met that one," I said, "Not very pleasant."

"No, but I hear she has family to protect. Mention them and she'll crumble like a stale honey-nut treat."

I honestly did not care for the idea of using someone's family against them so I decided to save Keevara for last. I was in no mood to deal with another Argonian right away.

"Consider it as good as done," I said.

I turned to leave and bumped into Dirge. Ale sloshed from the mug he was holding and splashed onto his boots.

"Watch where you're going, newbie," growled Dirge.

I ignored his tone. "My apologies. On the bright side, you now have an excuse to wash your boots, which obviously has never before been done."

Dirge grabbed the front of my shirt and yanked me close enough so I could smell the sour ale on his breath, or his jaw scruff, it was hard to tell which reeked worse. "If you're looking to make trouble, I can end that right now."

I glanced behind Dirge at Jenassa. She remained leaning against the wall but now she averted her eyes. What the Hells, woman? I turned back to the thug but before I could respond, a woman beside us spoke up.

"Let him go, Dirge. He's got work to do."

I did not know who the woman was but I would not have minded being in her debt. She was dressed in black leather armor with a dagger strapped to her hip. Long blonde hair spilled onto her shoulders. Her voice was calm but her narrowed eyes were an icy threat.

Dirge looked back at me. He gritted his teeth and clenched my shirt tighter. My hand drifted to the dagger at my side.

"Those sideburns clogging your ears, Dirge?" the woman said. "Let him go. I won't say it again."

Dirge grumbled but shoved me away. "You owe Vex your life, for now. We ain't finished, maggot." He collided with my shoulder on his way back to the bar.

I straightened my shirt and approached my rescuer. She held her hand up before I could say anything.

"Don't bother thanking me, Rikol," she said, "just get going. And if you have half a brain you'll stay away from Dirge for now. When he gets drunk, he gets mean, and he's already past drunk."

"Understood," I said then simply gave her a nod of thanks.

I stopped in front of Jenassa with my arms folded, looking as pissed as I could, and waited for an answer.

"So," she said, "Ready to go?"

Apparently I needed to work on my pissed expression. "What the Hells was that about?"

The elf looked at me cooly. "What do you mean, sera?"

"Wha...what do I mean? You just stood there while that troll threatened to kill me. I nearly had to start stabbing."

"These people are the ones you claimed you needed to acquire your desired wealth. You can't go around insulting them and think they'll respect you for it. You need to learn to play nice with your new friends."

"Play nice? With him?" My eye began to twitch. I squeezed them tight to make it stop. "They set killers in my path, questioned my competence, then treated me like goat shit."

Jenassa put a rough hand on my shoulder. "Exactly. It's an initiation to weed out the weak and the cowardly. He would not have killed you. Not here, anyway."

I brushed her hand away. "I'm glad you think so. Next time I won't look to you for help. I'll just gut the fucker myself. Come with me."

To say I was in a foul mood would be like saying hagravens stink. It wouldn't come close to the awful truth. Fortunately the way back out of the Ratway was made easier by being able to lower the drawbridge. If I had had to go all the way through the previous mess, I would have been hunting for things to kill.

I had been looking forward to getting out of the stale, dusty air of the Ratway. That is until the fishy odor of Riften's docks assaulted me. It agitated me further and I hurried to the market area where it at least dissipated. I determined my first stop would be the Pawned Prawn. It was bound to be the least crowded and so the easier of the three to do what needed to be done. I saw Brand-shei's empty stall and forced myself to calm down. The last thing I needed was to bring the city guards down on myself. I needed to be smart rather than violent. I could not afford any length of stay in a jail cell.

I barged into the Pawned Prawn with Jenassa right behind me. The place was empty save for Bersi standing behind the counter and his wife, Drifa standing to the left in the corner, her arms folded.

"Welcome to the Pawned Prawn, my friends," Bersi said. "Have a look-"

"Save it, Bersi," I said, "We're here to collect on what you owe." I walked up to the counter and swept off the books and miscellaneous crap covering it. "Now."

"Wha... What? Oh, it's one of you people. So, Brynolf doesn't even bother to show up himself anymore, eh?"

"He's busy with important business. I'm here so he won't have to get his hands dirty. I, on the other hand, don't mind a little dirt." I pulled tighter on the gloves I had taken from the Ratway oaf. "How much dirt is up to you."

Bersi grabbed hold of the straps to his apron and scoffed. "Petty threats and fist waving are not going to sway me. You people are all talk, and everyone knows it! Pay you to protect me? You can't even protect yourselves!"

I slammed my fist down onto the counter. To my surprise, a crack appeared along the top. These gloves were definitely enchanted. "The money, or the next crack will be in your head!"

Bersi looked pissed after what I did to his counter. He pointed a thick finger at me. "You're gouging me for what little coin I make and you can't even protect yourselves? Ridiculous!"

"Perhaps. You know, Jenassa, I believe Honey-Hand here may actually be stupid enough to hide the money around here, in plain sight even."

The mercenary tilted her head at me, clearly unsure of what I meant.

I turned around, pretending to look over the merchandise. My eyes landed on an urn. It was green with gold bands around it and sat atop a golden tripod. It must have been the one Brynolf mentioned. I grabbed the entire thing from its shelf. "Maybe it's in here?"

Bersi nearly squeaked. He hurried from behind the counter but Jenassa was quicker. She whipped her sword out and held it to the merchant's throat. Drifa let out a screech but one look from the merc silenced her as well.

I grinned as I lifted the urn and gave it a good shake. "Funny? I don't hear anything. Maybe the money is stashed within. Only one way to find out."

"Wait!" Bersi cried. "I don't have the money. Please, be careful with that."

I held it aloft, then after a moment's consideration, set it down. "Tell you what. I'll give you a minute to think of where the money is. In the meantime, there's something I just can't put off any longer."

I reached down and undid my pants. I pulled them down just far enough free myself. I definitely had everyone's attention, especially Drifa's. Her eyes widened considerably.

"You wouldn't," Bersi whispered.

I sighed mightily as I relieved myself into the urn. Bersi's face turned dark red, as did Drifa's, though I believe for different reasons. I noticed Jenassa caught a few peeks as well. Once finished I tucked myself back in.

"How's that money situation now, Bersi?"

"You...bastard," Bersi spit.

"Bastard? Still nothing then, huh? You know, I feel another urge yearning to come out." I stepped in front of the urn and began to lower my pants again.

"Stop! Stop! Mara's Mercy please stop!" Bersi sobbed. He fished a coin purse from his apron as I tied my pants back on. "Here. I'll pay on time from now on. Just don't defile anything else. Take your gold and leave me in peace."

I scooped up the purse from the counter and headed for the door. I held it open for Jenassa then stopped to wink at Drifa. "Have a good night, fair lady. Sorry for the display but it is as the Maker made me."

As the door closed I overheard Bersi's wife gasp and scold her husband. "You swore they never got that big!"

I laughed and pocketed the coins. Yes, my mood was definitely on the uptick.

"An interesting solution," Jenassa said. "I can't say I would have thought of it."

"Really? I can't say I wouldn't mind seeing it."

"Careful, sera. You are treading in dangerous woods."

"Just playing around, Jenassa. Back to business. Now let's pay a visit to Haelga. This has given me an idea for dealing with her."

"Hmm. Somehow I think exposing yourself to an adept of Dibella will have a different effect than with an old shopkeep."

"Care to wager a bet on that? Pay for dinner and lodging?"

Jenassa paused but then smiled. "Despite what I just saw, you have a bet."

"Excellent," I said. "Follow me. My appetite is growing. I'm getting hungry, too."