Chapter seven:

The freezing cold air seemed to do very little to dampen Rose's spirits. Her breath was a cloud about her in the foggy air as her heels clacked upon the decks, a leather bag in her numb, bare hands.

The length of the deck seemed to be endless as she made her way to the steerage area. Her mind was rattled with Cal's threats, ones which should have terrified her but perhaps she had grown accustomed to the ways of the man's wicked tongue and cruel hand. It would be no more...

The exhaustion which she had once felt seemed to be gone and replaced with a faint buzz about the air. Sleep wouldn't come now, nor would it come well to her until her feet were upon dry land. The enticement of the new promise hung thick about her and even though she was aware of just how tragic the sinking was, it seemed to be replaced by her happiness. It clouded her and the guilt seemed to ease off, just a little.

Her exchange with Jack outside earlier that evening had changed something within her. Changed the course of her life, forever. The hold which Jack had over her was the most frightened that Rose had ever felt; his touch was wonderfully gentle; his kiss was laced with something she couldn't quite guess but felt the intoxicated effect it left her with and then his faith in her was what she seemed to adore the most. It was the faith which no person had ever had. Rose's posture was always too slack, her chin not lifted quite enough, her hair was not quite the traditional curl and her clothes were never quite the correct months fashion; what did that matter in the ''real world?''

''Are you looking for me?''

Out of the dim lit decks, the familiar drawl caused her heart to stop, then pound.

''Yes, actually,'' Rose couldn't stop the smile which had crept to the corner of her mouth.

Jack stalked from the shadow of the ship's exterior, next to the unoccupied deck chairs and below a smoke stack. She crinkled her nose in fascination.

''Have you been waiting for me, right here, the entire time?''

''Yes,'' he revealed sparkling blue eyes and a red face from the cold.

''You're crazy, you could catch your death-''

''I said I would wait,'' he removed his hands from his pockets, to take the leather bag from her grasp and he dropped it at his feet, ''I waited to make sure that you were all right.''

As Jack's eyes waved over her face, Rose felt how she became sucked right back into the intoxicated whirlwind which he seemed to create for the two of them. Her body had once been clattered with shivers seemed to stop, as one of his hands came up to her face. Part of her wanted to recoil as icy fingers stroked across her cheeks; a sign that he was out in the cold for far beyond the amount of time he should have been. They had to go indoors soon and settle down for the remainder of the time they were aboard. They would need to have some rest, but it seemed to be impossibly unappealing to the both of them.

''I am all right.'' Rose managed; it was the truth.

''Did you speak with your Mother?''

Rose shook her head, just once. ''No, my exchange was with Cal.'' Rose pressed her lips together. ''He believed that my return was for good. His ploy to frighten me to stay failed, also.''

She felt Jack stiffen.

''He didn't hurt me,'' she reassured him right away, aware of his hatred for the man already. ''Perhaps it was I who struck his face this time.''

Jack blinked through bleary eyes, in disbelief partly.

''Whatever for?''

Feeling the blush come to her cheeks, Rose lowered her lashes, in part to separate the butterflies which broke flight in her stomach and the reason for her striking Cal's face. Jack settled his hands upon her shoulders to encourage her to speak.

''The reason for my disobedience towards him, he believed I would have perhaps been better behaved if I had allowed him to take me into his bed.'' Biting at her lip, Rose exhaled and felt the cold air hurt her lungs. Once or twice, she had heard of the elder members of their circles taken quietly to a Doctor such as those who were protégées of Freud who would diagnose 'sexual frustration' and X-Ray their wombs to kill off any libido, even sterilising them in a cruel medical procedure and then send them home to play the perfect wife once more, whilst the husbands would dally with the widows and whores. ''He would invite me frequently, as though I would play the blushing bride outwardly but then inside our own rooms, I would be under his control to claim thoroughly.''

Jack stiffened more. She felt it in his posture. ''Yes, he would think that, wouldn't he?'' His tone was cold, clipped and uncertain. He swallowed harshly.

''But I never-'' she stumbled through her blushes, as though she needed to clarify that to Jack, ''I couldn't allow him. To do that.''

Jack closed the small gap between them, allowing their bodies to be in contact. She was pinned beneath his gaze; sincerity swam about in them. ''Love should not be made in fear.''

Through the softness of his voice, she was paralysed. His hand slipped up to her lip, to pull it out of her teeth and tried to relax it there but she couldn't when inside her stomach was a riot, threatening to cause her to weaken physically. Small shakes took over and she didn't know if it was his presence or the cold which had finally found its way into her bones. ''Yes,'' she quietly agreed to his statement, ''love was not the motive for his invitation to his bed though, I suspect it was for more-'' she tried to find the words, ''indecent purposes.''

''The man doesn't deserve you in any sort of way.'' Jack told her assertively, his hands moving to join with hers and he felt her slight trembles. ''I have little to offer you, I know that but-''

She pulled her left hand free of his and pressed her index finger against his warm lips in an effort to silence him. ''I do not ask for much.'' Determination shone through in her hazy eyes. ''I ask for guidance, companionship and I ask for freedom. I ask that if we find ourselves in a place where we are lost that we help each other find the right path once more.'' She exhaled; the words came out in such a rush. ''I have been lost, so lost, but then when you were there, at the stern of that ship, on a night where I felt as though I had lost myself and my damned mind, you helped me to regain the vital strength which I needed not only to go on but eventually leave the world behind.'' His stare focused on her own, the soft gaze which she had fallen into on the first night of their meeting and had been swimming inside ever since. ''The truth is, if Titanic had not hit that iceberg, I may not be here, with you, like this. We may have taken other paths, perhaps separately. I thought of you, endlessly after the morning you came to me in the gymnasium, but I don't know if I had to strength to leave then, not like I do now.'' Rose's voice had cracked at parts, the truth dawning on her. ''I have found my freedom, my strength and my path through such a tragedy that I have felt underserving of it. I have everything waiting for me except happiness and yet I have just removed my engagement ring, my mother and fiancé for a new life, with a man I hardly know.'' She laughed towards the end, it was beyond ludicrous, she knew that herself. Exhaustion was setting in once more, and she should have questioned whether or not her mind was lost or regained, in some twisted way.

Jack rested his body against hers, feeling her sag against him. The intensity was frightening. ''I don't see that.'' He stroked his fingers through her hair, untangling it as he went. She rested herself against his chest and he propped his chin against her head.

''How do you see it?''

He paused, lingering on just how to say it.

''I see a girl, who was lost, suffocated and trapped away. They had you locked away like some princess in a tower; you longed for that freedom. Perhaps you tried to get it. Perhaps you were trying since the second you were born. You tried to express yourself, to be the person that you were born to be and yet every time you tried, you were perhaps told that it was wrong; punished. You were born within a world which you are not supposed to be in. Remove money from that world and they are just like the rest of us.''

''How do you see the world the way you do?''

Against his chest, she felt the steady rhythm of his heart. She felt the rise and fall of his breathing. The hardness of his chest. Her fingers wished to thread through the layers of clothing, just to touch him there, just once; skin to skin. She imagined him to be warm, safe and a sanctuary which she would want to retreat to time and time again.

''I was raised to think of everybody as equals. It is hard to at times; I saw the world you were in. I was stifled from one dinner but I saw you, in that world, I saw how gilded you were and then I made the decision to take you into my world; to taste the difference.''

A smile crept across her face. ''You danced with me.''

''Yes, I did. I saw your nerves when you walked into that room; full of immigrant foreigners but you were dressed up in more money than they had ever seen.''

''I was scared of them seeing that. I feared the resentment.''

''Yet, they accepted you. Without hesitation.''

''Yes, they did.''

''They sat with you. Danced with you. Laughed with you. We had those few hours and I saw the woman that you are; beautifully free spirited.''

Jack's hands slid her hair back away from her face, just enough to tilt her head and lean it into the crook of his neck. There she sampled the smell of him fully for the first time and it overwhelmed her. She wished to never leave that spot where she could press her nose against the warmth of the crook and close her eyes.

''When I walked you back to your world, I wanted to tell you then, just how I hated the thought of you trapped. You started talking about the stars...'' He recalled, his voice was faint, weak and she heard every word as she opened her eyes to remember the moment.

''An excuse to stay longer out of my world. With you.''

''Yes. And when you said that you wished for something that you couldn't have.''

Rose pressed her lips together, ignoring the need to hesitate.

''It was for the freedom. For you. I was overwhelmed and I ran into my world, without hesitation for I was scared of what I felt in that moment.'' That much was the truth. What could she have felt for the man she had met just twenty-four hours before and yet they had spent most of those hours in the presence of the other? They had learned of the other. Laughed together. Divulged intimate details.

''That I would have pressed my lips to yours?''

She pulled her head back, from his neck and watched him.

''Yes. That was it.''

The confessions were pouring out of her, as though, this was the easier and the hardest part of her steps forward. Jack made her feel as though there were barriers and yet, she couldn't help but feel nerves, the tenderness of which he handled her was overwhelming.

''I wished I could have but I know how spooked we both could have been.''

''How so?''

''I haven't ever known a girl like you, I have never conducted a love affair-''

Rose parted her lips to breathe and to interrupt him before she could even stop herself.

''Not even in Paris?''

He shook his head.

''No.''

She was surprised. How could a beautiful man surrounded by gorgeous women have not found the temptation or given himself to several of the naked, slender and attractive girls he had seemed to surround himself with? These were details which were unnecessary for her to ever know yet, she had seen the flush of his cheeks when she had almost proclaimed her virginity to be intact when she had explained her reasons for striking Cal that evening.

''When I found myself needing to see you again, I knew that I had to.''

''My mother had warned me away from you before church that morning. Cal's anger had caused him to flip over the breakfast table and I was fearful. His little manservant had seen us dancing below decks, he had us followed.''

''That I can believe. A shame the man didn't make it.''

''When you came to me, I was torn between what I thought would be right for my family and my own heart. My mother was left with debts after my father's death, my marriage to Cal was the only way which we could save the family name from growing tarnished.'' Rose watched his reaction to her confession. Jack was blasé.

''So, there was never a love match?''

Rose shook her head.

''No. My mother used to always say that love was for fools and perhaps she is correct. I never loved him. I was introduced to him and flattered by his affections but I soon realised what a nasty and pompous man he is. He cares only for his own large ego.'' A pathetic laugh came from her; one which she knew was unladylike but was the only way of which Cal could be described.

''Yes. I see that. Arrogant and conceited yet he is the most spineless person I have ever met.''

''He is powerful.''

''I don't doubt that he has reliable contacts who could carry out seedy work for him and never have his name uttered. I understand he is a man, richer beyond any means and I could never, ever give you the materials which he ever could. Yet, the man lays his hands on the woman he was supposed to marry and tries to force her into his bed before the wedding takes place.''

Rose's spine prickled at his accurate description. Her cheeks wanted to flush once more but she quickly dismissed it. She was more concerned about his lack of fright for any of the situation; Jack was a man who was laid back, with no reason to stress of life even when he was dealt a bad hand. It seemed to be contagious and perhaps it was that which had made her immune to Cal's threats.

''There is no fear within you?''

''Not of him, no.''

''What if he comes, to find us?'' Rose grew quieter.

''He will come. I expect him.''

''There will be some trouble.''

''I know. I don't plan to escape unscathed but I plan for you to.''

''What?'' She recoiled, his words scaring her.

''Even if he kills me with his bare hands, I would ensure your freedom. Besides, I know places in the world he would never even know exists.''

''I thought you never planned past today?''

''I don't usually, but I have to think to tomorrow now as well. I have to think of you before me.'' Jack placed his hands upon her shoulders to dismiss any fear which might have gathered.

''I don't wish to intrude on your life,'' she told him, glancing to her feet. He used his finger to propel her chin upwards to watch him.

''There was very little life in me before you. I thought I was living for something, my parent's memory perhaps but I know now that I was lonely, achingly so.''

''I know that all too well.''

''When the ship docks in New York, I do not know what you plan to do, what your intentions are towards me or how-''

''Shh.'' She quietened him with a finger to the lips, surprising him. ''You told me when we danced to just go with it, to not think.''

''Yes, and you relaxed.''

''I stopped thinking and let myself do what felt natural.''

With a hand at the nape of his neck, Rose pulled him down, crushing her lips to his with such force that their teeth almost clashed. If he was surprised, he didn't show as his own hands came up to her waist, holding her steadily there. Their lips worked, sucking and twisting as though it would be their last. It was unlike the others; tentative and tender. There seemed to be some filter which had removed their absolute hesitance and now, she clung to him as though her life depended upon it. She was utterly weakened by him. Seduced by him...

''I love the fire within you.'' He whispered against her lips, before taking her mouth once more. It was warm there with him, in his arms.

The fire had always burned within her, perhaps dimly at first and then when it flourished, there had always been someone to distinguish it but now, it was free to burn as bright and as high as it ever could.

A voice that wasn't their own caused their kiss to cease, for them to part ways with panting breathes and to find there in the darkness; Caledon Hockley.

''This. This is what you reduced yourself to?''