Kurt and Chandler are settled on the couch in Kurt's living room watching RuPaul's Drag Race. It's something he never really did with Blaine, Blaine was never a big fan of reality television, but Chandler eats it right up with him.

Blaine. He still feels a pang in his heart every time he thinks about his ex boyfriend, but it's not as sharp as it was at first. The pain has dulled a little bit, with time. He's not sure if it will ever go away, but it's a little more bearable now.

"No way, I can't believe she did that!" Chandler squeals, grabbing Kurt's hand and squeezing tightly, pointing to the screen where one of the queens just slapped the other.

And it's nice. It feels good, the contact, a warm hand in his. He looks over at Chandler, the other boy's eyes glued to the screen, his face pure excitement, and he realizes with Chandler everything just feels so easy. There's no over thinking things, he doesn't need to be worried about saying something he'll regret, or that Chandler will get mad at him for. Chandler just accepts him for him, all of his imperfect and broken pieces. It hits him like a freight train, how good Chandler is. He's never once made him feel bad about himself, or like being different was a bad thing, or like he couldn't be him. Chandler was always there, a constant ray of light, a beacon of hope ever since they met, really, and Kurt really never appreciated that enough, did he? It's not love, not like how he feels about Blaine – felt, he tries to tell himself, though deep down he knows he still has those feelings – but maybe not everything is. Maybe it's not supposed to be. Love is messy and painful and if being in love ends the way he and Blaine ended every time, then maybe he doesn't want that. But being with Chandler, that would be so easy, wouldn't it? And maybe that's what he needs, because he's tried complicated, and look where that got him.

"Kurt?" Chandler asks, turning to look back at him, a confused expression on his face. Clearly he'd been saying something.

"Sorry, what?" Kurt asks, shaking his head.

"I said, who do you think they'll eliminate this round?"

"Oh," Kurt says, pausing to think for a moment, then realizes he hasn't been paying attention for the last little while so he actually has no idea who will be kicked off the show. "I'm not sure."

"Is everything okay?" Chandler asks, furrowing his brow slightly.

Kurt stares back for a moment. This other boy knows him so well, knows every time something is wrong, knows just what to do to cheer him up, the right words to say. And really, isn't that what he should want in a partner? It makes sense, logically, and maybe he's just still hung up on Blaine and that's why he doesn't feel it but, do you really need to feel it if you're still choosing it?

Enough thinking. He thinks too much, and it's gotten him nowhere, so screw thinking. He reaches a hand up to Chandler's neck and pulls him forward gently, leaning in and pressing their lips together in a sweet, gentle kiss. He feels Chandler freeze for a second before relaxing into the kiss, and then he pulls back.

Chandler's eyes stay closed for a few moments, before fluttering open and staring back at Kurt, a look of surprise on his face.

Kurt panics. What did he just do? Why would he do that? What made him think that Chandler would even want this? Of course he doesn't, who would? For a while, he really thought Blaine did, but clearly he was wrong about that, too.

"Chandler, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, it... it's okay," Chandler says, and Kurt spots a bit of a blush in his cheeks. "I just, um... wasn't expecting it."

"Oh," Kurt says quietly.

They sit there in silence for a few long minutes before Chandler breaks the silence.

"Are you, um... I mean, what are... why?"

It's not often that Chandler is at a loss for words, and the fact that Kurt has made him that way is sort of cute. Not in the same way that Blaine at a loss of words was, but still endearing.

"I just... you've always been there for me. And I think I kind of just realized that now, and I just... wanted to kiss you." He's surprised how easy the words are to say. With Blaine he had always been a nervous, blushing mess, but he doesn't feel that same pressure with Chandler, doesn't feel the intensity of emotion that he felt with Blaine, and it's nice.

Chandler's cheeks flush a deeper shade of red, but he's smiling. "Would you... want to kiss me again?"

"Yeah," Kurt nods, and then brings their lips together again.

Chandler sits in the booth across from Kurt at Breadstix. Kurt had been expecting it to feel different, their first official date, but it doesn't. It just feels like he's sitting here with a friend. He'd been expecting to feel something more, but he just... doesn't. It's not like with Blaine. But maybe nothing ever will be. They always say that first loves are special, right? He just needs to lower his expectations.

"I can't believe we're really doing this," Chandler says excitedly as the waitress leaves their table, menus in hand, to give their orders to the kitchen. Kurt smiles warmly back at the other boy. "Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah, of course," Kurt says, brow furrowed. He's not really sure what Chandler would have to say that would need to be prefaced with that; the boy rarely hesitates to say what's on his mind.

"I never thought this would happen, "Chandler starts, a shy smile on his face. "I mean, the first time I saw you, I thought, 'wow, he is beautiful.' And then I talked to you, and you seemed even better. And then you said you had a boyfriend and I mean, I still wanted to be your friend, of course, who wouldn't, but I just thought that was it, you know? You had a boyfriend so I would never have a chance. And I guess I'm just... glad that I do now."

"I'm glad, too," Kurt agrees, though the words feel empty somehow; he's not sure why. He wants this. This was his idea.

"Oh, we should go on a picnic sometime. There's this park my parents used to take me to all the time as a kid, it was so pretty, I haven't been there in a long time but we should go! It would be so romantic! We can make little sandwiches and lay out a blanket and, oh, it's on a lake so we could go swimming!"

"That sounds really nice," Kurt agrees with a nod and a small smile, and it does sound really nice. It sounds like a wonderful afternoon and if it weren't for the memories of romantic picnics with Blaine last summer it might sound perfect, but he shouldn't be thinking about Blaine now, this shouldn't be a thing anymore, so he tries to push the thoughts out of his mind. Maybe if he replaces the memories with new ones with Chandler, maybe then his heart won't ache so much.

Supper is easy, like spending time with Chandler always is. He doesn't have to try. He spends the evening listening to Chandler talk, nodding and interjecting at just the right moments, and it's nice. Time with Chandler is always nice.

When he goes home that night and lays in bed, trying to sleep, he tries to convince himself that nice is enough.