Chapter 10: My Own Path

Ahsoka's ship landed in the snow with a loud crunch. She set the controls for standby mode. For a second her hand hovered over the switch to turn on the ship's beacon. It was the signal that was sent out to let other ships know she was there. She had been traveling incognito for a while, so she normally had it switched off. But her current location made her want to turn it on. This was not a place she wanted to get stuck.

The frozen tundra around her sang. She closed her eyes for a moment and listened. She hadn't sensed that sound for a long time. It wasn't at any of the other temples she had discovered.

But this wasn't an ancient temple, this was Ilum.

The last time she was here, she had been a padawan escorting a crèche of younglings to harvest their kyber crystals for their lightsabers. It was a very eventful trip.

Lux was with Alek on Coruscant for the next week. She would meet him on Onderon after. Ahsoka had this trip planned for a while but kept putting it off. With no current leads on another temple location, she decided it was time. This was something she had to do for herself.

She ignored the beacon switch and went to the back to put on her warm clothes.

It was just before sunrise, exactly like she planned. Ahsoka knew she wouldn't have very long inside. There was also the small threat of another Padawan and youngling class coming for a Gathering. But the chances of that were slim.

Ahsoka stood in front of the massive ice and stone cavern wall. The last time she was there, she had the younglings help her open the door. She was alone now.

Reaching out, Ahsoka focused on the Force. She'd just have to hope that she could do this on her own.

"Come on guys! We can do it!" Jemmi shouted over the blow of the wind. He stood in front of the group, his arm out and ready to do whatever they were supposed to do to get inside.

The Padawan escorting them held out his hand. He was Twi'lek with pale green skin. All Ahsoka knew was his name was Kan Wilnis.

He turned around to them. "Only together can we get inside. Focus the Force, use the energy, together!"

Ahsoka held out her hand, trying not to let the harsh cold bother her. She closed her eyes and focused. She felt the Force flow through her. It traveled from her body to her arm, then her fingertips. She felt the heavy tug as she helped the others push the large stones away, revealing the door.

The rest of her crèche class celebrated, jumping up and down and cheering. Ahsoka smiled to herself, happy.

Padawan Wilnis led them inside. It was hard to take everything in. To twelve-year-old Ahsoka, everything was giant. The arch doorway was so high she couldn't see the top. The statues of ancient Jedi were ginormous. It was too much to take in all at once.

She ran in after the others. Ahsoka was one of ten in her class. They were all between the ages of twelve and fourteen. Ahsoka was the youngest. That shouldn't have mattered since they were all in the same class, but some of the older kids tended to try and take charge. Like now.

Jemmi, a hyper Rodian, led the way for the rest. If Padawan Wilnis hadn't stopped, Jemmi would have ran right past Master Yoda, who sat waiting for them in the center of the room.

"Younglings," Padawan Wilnis said. "Your Gathering is about to commence. Please pay attention. Master Yoda?" He gestured to the older Jedi.

Ahsoka had only met the Grandmaster a few times. She had him for a few classes and he oversaw a few tests of hers, but she never spoke with him alone. She wondered how hard the test was going to be. If Master Yoda was here, then it wasn't something they could have studied for.

"Greetings, younglings," Yoda said as he stood up. Ahsoka listened to him speak intently, wanting nothing more than to learn all she could and become the greatest Jedi she could be.

As the wall of ice fell to water around her feet, Ahsoka let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She had opened the door on her own. But she had no idea if she could activate the sun instrument on the ceiling. It was actually similar to the contraption on the roof of the temple on Shili. It took her a few embarrassing tries to get it to move. She was glad she was doing this alone.

She remembered entering the Crystal Caves for the first time. She was so full of hope and determination back then. Ahsoka remembered Master Yoda's wink at her when she went in as if he knew something she didn't. She had been so scared that she'd be frozen inside the cave. But Master Yoda knew she had nothing to worry about.

Standing in front of the cave now, as an adult and no longer a Jedi, Ahsoka had reason to be scared again. The test for the younglings was to overcome something in themselves. Fear, overconfidence, or lack of trust were common. She remembered her test. It wasn't like the rest of her class…

Jemmi plowed ahead again. Ahsoka ran with the group through the caves.

"Jemmi! Do you know where you're going?" Kaya asked. She was a human with short blonde hair and pale skin.

"None of us have been here before, how can he know where to go?" Ninka asked. They were a Sullustan with short limbs. Out of everyone, they were the nicest to Ahsoka. Most of the others ignored her.

Taking a sharp left, Jemmi skidded to a stop. Two tunnels branched out on either side of them. A crossroads.

"Which way?" Kaya asked, her breath fogged the air from all the running.

Jemmi pointed confidently to the right. "That way!"

But Ahsoka sensed something. It came from the left tunnel. She looked at the others. "I don't think we all should go the same way. I think we should split up."

"No!" Jemmi declared, turning around to face her. "Splitting up will only get us all lost. We need to stick together. I don't want to get stuck in this cave all night, do you?"

Ahsoka shook her head. "But-"

"Let's go!"

The group surged to the right. Ahsoka looked back at the left tunnel. There was a sort of singing coming from the cave. It was pulling at her. Ahsoka knew she had to go that way.

"Ahsoka! Come on! Now!" Jemmi called back to her. Everyone had stopped about a hundred feet away, noticing she wasn't following them.

Ahsoka sighed. She wanted to follow everyone. She knew that sticking to the group would be safer, but that wasn't how the test was designed. The Force didn't work the same way for everyone. And she knew following blindly wasn't a good thing either.

Ahsoka had always felt a bit like an outlier. She was the youngest in her class. One of the only Togruta at the Temple. She didn't like how her instructors told her to hold her training blade. She didn't like the drab Jedi-issued robes they made the younglings wear. She was sarcastic and snippy with her teachers. And she only knew this because she had overheard Master Plo one day, but she had the highest midi-chorian count out of all the current younglings at the Temple. Ahsoka didn't follow the same path others did. She had her own way of doing things.

She looked at the group of younglings she had known for years. They all waited for her to join them.

This was her test.

"No! I'm going this way! My crystal is that way, I can sense it! I'll meet you outside!" she called to them.

Ahsoka raced off into the cave, ignoring the shouts of her fellow classmates.

She had been the first to exit the cave, her crystal held high and a huge smile on her face.

The looming entrance stood waiting for her. Above, the ice had already begun to freeze back over. It was now or never. She stepped inside.

The caves didn't look any different than they did when she was a youngling. Cold, dark in some places, light in others. She wandered the cave for a while. The familiar singing of the crystals was there, but nothing called out to her like it had the first time. After what seemed like hours, she got frustrated. There was still nothing. She sensed nothing.

Was she supposed to find nothing? Maybe the caves knew she wasn't a Jedi and refused to give her another crystal. Maybe her two she got before were the only ones she'd ever have…

She stopped in the middle of what seemed like the tenth ice cave.

"UGH!" she shouted.

Ahsoka took a few calming breaths. She couldn't turn back now. She wouldn't. Anakin wouldn't want her to. Neither would Obi-wan or Lux.

Neither would Alek.

With no other ideas, she sat down on the ground and folded her legs. She closed her eyes and meditated.

The second she did, something changed.

"Why did you come back?"

The voice echoed. It was a voice she knew but didn't at the same time. She tried to focus on it.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!"

Ahsoka jumped. The voice was right in front of her. She opened her eyes and gasped.

A little girl sat on the ground in front of her. She was a Togruta with orange skin and blue striped montrals. She was very young.

It was her.

Ahsoka didn't know what to do. She only stared at the mirage of herself as a twelve-year-old. Her little self stared back.

"You didn't answer my question." Little Ahsoka spat again. She sat up as tall as she could and stared big Ahsoka down. "Why did you come back?"

Ahsoka had forgotten how much of a spitfire she was when she was little.

"I needed a crystal."

"What happened to your other one?"

Ahsoka looked down. "I don't have it anymore."

"So, get it back."

"It's not that simple."

"Yes, it is."

Ahsoka glared at her younger self. She was beginning to see how Anakin got fed up with her so many times.

"No, I'm not a Jedi. Those crystals belong with a Jedi. I'm just…not that person anymore."

Little Ahsoka nodded, accepting this without explanation. "So, who are you?"

"I don't even know. Sometimes I think I'm on the path to figuring it out. Other times I feel more lost than I was before. Everyone else-"

"But you aren't everyone else, are you?" Little Ahsoka propped her head on her hand. "I don't follow what everyone does. And that makes me feel lonely sometimes. But I know that I'm on the right path because I end up in the right place."

Ahsoka sat in silence for a moment. Little her was right. She didn't get where she was by trying to find a path others had already walked.

She was the first in her class to become a Padawan. She changed her outfit to not look like a regular Jedi. She developed her own unique style of fighting. And her sassy personality had served her well being paired with one of the most powerful Jedi Knights in the Order. It also allowed her to leave the Temple when she knew her time there was over.

She found a dozen lost temples across the galaxy. She found her way back to Lux. She had a beautiful son and family because she forged her own way.

"I'm on the right path because it is of my own choosing. I've never followed the traditional way. I've followed instinct. I've followed the Force," she said.

Little Ahsoka nodded. "You're right. And you serve the Force to the best of your ability. Others don't always see that. It's important you remember that in the coming times ahead."

"What do you mean?'

But she didn't get her question answered. Instead, Little Ahsoka stood up. "Here, these belong with you." She placed something in Ahsoka's palm.

She looked down at her gloved hand. The singing she heard before was soft. Two crystals rested in her hand.

"Thank-"

But when she looked up, Little Ahsoka was gone.

*Mystical Jedi noises*

I'm back!

I had fun with this. I had to re-watch "The Gathering" for research. Coming up with names for the Padawan and younglings was fun.

This chapter was for Ahsoka. Lux's is next!

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