Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! đź’–
To the person who described Four and Tris' social skills as a sloth on drugs, thank you for this gem. I will never be able to write them any other way from here on out.
Happy Birthday to the person whose birthday is today! I hope it's awesome and you really enjoy this chapter!đź’ž
Major thanks for Bamberlee for editing!
"What happened?"
His hands are cold.
Daniel smells like the Erudite hospital; like antiseptic, whatever he's washed his hands with, and the strange heavy scent of superiority. My jerk reaction is to shove him away from me and politely tell Greg to get him out of the fucking room. I haven't talked to Daniel since he reminded me to get a haircut for the Choosing Ceremony. I hadn't responded to his text on my birthday, because it was as empty as everything else he'd ever told me. My feral response to seeing him was to bark at him to leave, but I didn't.
I didn't have to.
Everly stood in front of me and she didn't move.
She craned her head up at my father, who was busy staring down at her like he didn't believe she was real, and she didn't let him near me.
It was comical to watch them vie for who was in charge here. Daniel really had the ultimate authority; as head of the neurology department, he could order her out and have me brought upstairs. Head trauma was low on his list of priorities, but it would give him the leverage he needed if he truly wanted to speak to me.
Everly didn't know any of this. She only knew that I had some aversion to my father and she'd quickly realized this reunion wasn't going to be a happy one. So, she stood there, not letting him get close, and he didn't try. He did smile, and when he asked her what her name was, I groaned inwardly.
"Are you Daniel?" Her hands didn't leave me. Her stare was on him, taking in the pristine white coat, the blue shirt the housekeeper had ironed for him, and his parted hair. She leaned away from him, toward me, and he knew right then and there she didn't think he was amazing. "Why did they go get you?"
"They called me down to help out. Greg thought maybe I'd want to see Eric." Daniel spoke evenly, and his eyes moved back and forth between Everly and me.
The sight had to be a shock. She was half my size, wearing a short dress in a pale shade of green, and her concern far outweighed his. Ironically, she barely knew me. Our time together didn't span years, but that didn't matter to her. My thoughts of how I didn't need her vanished when she moved even closer, and I realized I wanted her to stay holding onto me. Every single part of me wanted her to stay with me. I felt a wave of possessive selfishness, especially when Daniel tried to play nice.
Eventually, it worked.
He somehow convinced her to let him look at my head, and five minutes later, he was the one stitching it back together.
"I hit it on the step of a tractor. Is it bad?"
I watch Everly out of the corner of my eye. She stands across from me, leaning against the counter with her arms crossed. Her eyes stay on Daniel. Every so often, she frowns, but she stops when Jessica returns to give her more paperwork.
"No, it's a pretty clean split. It definitely wouldn't heal without stitches."
"Good, then I can leave as soon as you're done," I inform him, keeping perfectly still. I can feel him working, and every so often, there is an uncomfortable pinch. It doesn't hurt, but it doesn't feel good, either. "Everly, maybe you should go get –"
"You really should have the CT scan. Just to make sure nothing's fractured," Daniel insists, and he pauses to look at me. "Eric, I…we should talk."
I stare back blankly.
My time in Amity had taught me a few things. The first was that Daniel was a terrible parent. It might not have been his fault entirely. His work kept him busy, he clearly preferred it over dealing with Blythe, and it made him feel good. The second was he threw himself into working because he was eager to help. He did feel good when he was doing what he knew best, and even now, as he resumes knotting the thread and looking miserable, I know this is all he has.
It also taught me he could have tried. He could have put in minimal effort, or at least not taken three hours to come pick me up.
If he expected me to forgive him, he was in for a rude awakening. I might have been living in Amity, but I hadn't forgotten the past nineteen years of my life.
Or that he'd failed to mention my uncle.
"Were you ever going to tell me about Ian?" I sit up straight when the flash of pain makes me wince. Everly's eyes flick over to me, and her lips part in concern. The room grows tense, so tense it's like the air could snap, and Daniel's fingers stop. "You never once thought to tell me you have a brother living in Amity?"
"Eric…"
He says my name tightly, wrought with frustration.
"Eric, he left Erudite years ago. I never saw him again. I didn't…why would I talk about someone who I had no contact with? I never thought you'd pick Amity."
"He told me why you don't talk to him," I coolly inform him, and there's a slight wooziness as the room seems to close in on me. "You really blame him for your parents' deaths?"
There's a crash as he knocks into the exam table. Everly's eyes meet mine, but she stays quiet, watching the scene unfold before her.
"You really were a horrible father. And now you're a horrible person. You know that right?" I inform him, and he freezes. "Why are you here? I didn't ask for you to come down here. I don't even care that you work here."
"Eric…"Daniel starts to say something, but he pauses, and he doesn't say anything more than a very lowly muttered I'm sorry as his image of caring father is shattered. "I don't think I was horrible to you. I gave you everything you could have wanted. I tried…I did my best with what I could. Ian is…it's…it's not something you need to be concerned about."
"No, you didn't try your best." I snap, and the anger over him comes right back up. I forget about Ian, about the way Daniel treated him, and I focus only on the man currently stitching up my head. Across from me, Everly's expression turns to pure shock.
"You left me waiting here for hours with a broken arm. Neither you nor Blythe came to get me until Arlene called. Why? Why would you even have a child if you didn't want one?" I jerk my head away from him, feeling a different kind of rage. This one hurts, more than the needle he'd just slid through my skin. "Why are you in here now?"
"Eric…"
They both say my name: one who barely knows me, and one who knows me more after half a dozen weeks of living together.
"You have no idea how sorry I am. About everything." Daniel steps back, and he glances at Everly, looking crushed. He has no right to look this way, and it makes me dislike him more. "I wanted…I wanted a lot of things. Your mother has strong ties to her sister, and it took over most of our life. I never meant to make you upset. I wanted you to stay in Erudite."
Everly's lips threaten to scowl. It's a funny look for her; she's too sweet and unassuming looking to appear furious, but I know she is. She watches him carefully, ready to step between us, but the look on his face makes her pause.
"I let Blythe handle most of the decisions and I shouldn't have. If I could go back and change everything, I would. When you picked Amity, I knew I had messed up. You wanted to get away from us and you did. And now you have…you have…your wife…and…"
He trails off, and I don't correct him.
Mostly because Everly already signed the paperwork with my last name as hers.
"When did this happen? I didn't even know anything about it." Daniel looks over at her, and she looks up at him, angry on my behalf.
"Pretty much since the day I picked Amity," I retort, and Everly cracks the barest hint of a smile. She relaxes, but I can see her looking at Daniel like she can't figure him out. "Are we done for the day? Can I leave?"
"Are you refusing the rest of the treatment?" Daniel looks worried now, and Everly steps away from the counter.
"Can he?"
"Um…well, yes, if he chooses to decline it." He looks at her, desperate to think of a way to make her like him. "You'll have to make sure he's alright. If he falls asleep, you'll need to wake him back up every few hours. If you can't wake him, he'll need to come back here." He pauses to exhale heavily. "Try to avoid excessive reading or staring at a screen, take the medicine if your head hurts. I'll give you something in case the nausea or the pain comes back."
"Okay, well I can do all that," Everly is optimistic as ever. "So, we can go then?"
"You could stay here. I could have them give you a room just in case you can't wake him up. I don't know how you'd get him back in time," Daniel offers, but Everly shakes her head. "No?"
"We have a house. It's very quiet there. We don't need to stay here."
Her words are spoken firmly, and they are amusing given how little she is next to him. She stares him down, politely, yet unafraid of his authority. He has a lot of it, too. He could very well order me to stay. He knows I'd never forgive him if he did, but he still could write out the orders or demand I spend the night.
He doesn't.
Daniel nods, miserable as ever, and he softly tells Everly he'll have the nurse bring us the discharge paperwork.
"Did they try to inject you with something to control your brain? You should ask what was in the shot."
Forrest walks quickly, slowing down only when someone yells at him to walk. He's drinking the coffee he found, and it's done nothing but make him even more wired. I appreciate his enthusiasm, and his defense, even when he moves closer to me, nearly knocking us into the wall.
"No, they just gave me stitches and something for the pain. I declined the rest," I explain, trying to steer him toward the exit.
Ten minutes ago, Everly and I walked out of the exam room together. Daniel had left to go see a patient. He said he'd be back, but we heard his name paged over and over, and Everly blinked up at me with the faintest hint of awe. His entire title was spoken as he was paged back to the neurology department, and she got a little peek at the scope of who he is. Daniel Coulter, dedicated brain surgeon, and not much else.
When we walked past the reception desk, Everly took hold of my hand, and slid her fingers right between mine. She led me back through the maze of hallways and into the waiting room. Her mother was there, along with Howard and Forrest. Eden immediately came over to make sure I was alright, and once she was convinced I was fine, or at least, hadn't been drugged by the doctors here, she announced we were going home.
The irony of her announcing Amity as my home wasn't lost on me.
The five of us walked outside into too bright sunlight, and Howard told me to wait while he and Forrest pulled the trucks around. I had no clue where they parked, so I shrugged, and promised Forrest I was fine. He kept looking back at me like he expected to see a second head, but Howard dragged him away and told him to hurry up.
"Stay right here. I swear I just saw someone else from Amity," Eden points at the large, sliding doors, and she promises she'll be right back. "I just want to say hello."
"Okay," Everly watches her walk back toward the building, and then she looks at me. "Are you sure you're alright? Maybe you should have gotten that…. scan thing." Her expression is tight; she is hesitant now, chewing on her lip and tightening her grip on me.
"I'm fine. Landon didn't do much damage. He pushed me into the tractor. He got lucky and I hit my head. It's not that bad," I promise, and I push a smile down at her. She's apprehensive now, and I shake my head, relieved when there's no flash of pain. "I thought you said we were going home. Did you want to stay?"
"No," she answers immediately, and I pull her closer so she's against me. "I thought we'd go home and you could lie down. The paperwork says…"
"Eric!"
We both look over to see Daniel sprinting at us. He looks frantic. He looks less frantic to see we're still here, but he's not at all happy.
"I couldn't find you! I went back to tell you goodbye and they said you'd left." He frowns, and he doesn't know where to look. He glances at me, then Everly, then me again, and I wonder if he's looking for the forgiveness he expected me to grant him. "Look, I tried to text you on your birthday. I never wanted things to be like this. I thought maybe once you were out on your own, things could be different. I thought you and I could have lunch, or maybe you'd work here. Then you picked Amity, and…everything just fell apart."
Everly looks at him with an incredulous stare.
"Obviously, you are very happy in Amity. And…I just want you to know I fully support this. If you like it there, then I'm…I'm glad you picked it. Maybe I can come to Amity sometime. Maybe I can come visit."
"Aren't you banned from Amity?" Everly tilts her head at him, and she's serious. "I think my mom knows you."
"No!" His frustration is immediate. There's a hint of recognition as to who she is, and my guess is he's figured out who her mother is. "I do know Eden. We don't necessarily see eye to eye, and we had a few...minor disagreements over how the clinic there is run. Maybe you could convince her otherwise. And I'm not banned, I'm just…I'm not really supposed to go by there unannounced. I usually send Camille if Amity is due for an inspection."
"Oh," Everly nods, and she looks at me. "Well…um, then it's up to Eric. You could come by if you want."
Her look is expectant, but I don't really know what either of them want. I can't imagine Daniel willingly following through with this plan to come have lunch or hang out for the afternoon. While growing up, he had mentioned going to Amity to check in on their clinic exactly zero times. My assumption was he loathed going somewhere where medicine wasn't always the answer, so he'd promptly forget about them the second he left.
I agree, only because I know he won't actually show up.
"Sure. Come by this weekend. We'll be home." I smirk at him, and I wonder how on Earth he'll tell Blythe where he's going. "Thanks for the stitches."
"You're welcome," Daniel answers, and we both know he's realizing this won't be as easy as he thinks. Years of putting me last in his life won't be erased by coming to Amity, even if he could figure out a way to get there. "It looks like your ride is here."
He steps back when Forrest nearly runs him over. Forrest waves frantically, and he yells for us to get in the truck as though Daniel will keep us here. I see Howard pull up behind him, and my assumption is Eden will ride back in his truck. She appears just in time, and she waves as she walks over to him. She most definitely does not say goodbye to Daniel; in fact, she walks right past him, like he's invisible.
"It was nice to meet you," Everly offers, and I refrain from the retort biting at the back of my throat.
I nod a silent goodbye, and I move to open the truck door. I let Everly climb in first, and I follow only once I'm sure she's inside.
"I'll send you a message. We can plan something. Something soon!" Daniel calls out, trying to sound optimistic and not desperate, and he waves.
I don't wave back.
I move closer to Everly, and I lean my head back, closing my eyes as Forrest takes off like he's racing Howard home.
The house is quiet.
Never in a million years did I think I'd be so happy to see the Amity faction appear before my eyes. I was even happier when Everly and I walked home and her mother and Forrest kept going. Even Howard went home, muttering about needing to see where Carole was and hopefully going to down something to counteract whatever she was dosing him with.
Everly and I walked inside. The air was cold and welcoming, and I headed straight for the shower. I turned the water super hot and stepped inside without caring how it felt. I carefully washed the blood out of my hair, and I avoided the thick sutures. There were a few twinges of pain, but nothing that warranted too much attention. I finished my shower right as Everly called my name, and once I toweled myself off, I walked out to find her standing there holding a piece of paper.
"Zander made this for you. He said you can hang it up anywhere you want but somewhere you can see it every day and before you go to bed."
She tries not to laugh when she hands it to me, and I take it slowly, ignoring her warm stare on my bare skin. I focus only on the drawing of him and me, fighting each other with swords.
And the blood.
There's a lot of blood, mostly by my head.
"Isn't this awfully violent for him?" I raise an eyebrow at Everly, and she cracks a smile.
"I'm sure my mother didn't approve, but she lets him draw whatever. He said you guys were training together and apparently, he stabbed you in the head. He also gave himself…. let's see…oh, forty-eight points. You got three."
"Fitting," I roll my eyes, but I don't shove the picture back at her. It's sort of amusing; Zander's crayon work is frantic, but I can appreciate that he really went for it. He even spelled my name correctly, and he wrote his name in huge letters at the bottom. "I think I'm gonna lie down. Please tell me there aren't a million people here or you haven't planned a party tonight."
"No one is here and the party isn't until tomorrow," Everly grins. She then points behind me, and I turn in surprise to see the giant screen on the wall that I'd somehow missed earlier. "Jake and Ryan are both incredibly worried. So they went to the market and got you this. I guess Judd told them how to hook it up, and there's a remote to pick what you want to watch. Judd said a lot of people in Erudite have these and only a few people here have one. I don't know how to use it past what they told me."
She waits for my answer, and when I don't say anything, she looks nervous.
"You can take it when you move, too. They said they mounted it to the wall, but they'll help take it down. I know they said not to watch a lot of screens but maybe we can watch it for a little bit and –"
"It's really nice of them," I nod, and I close the space between us. I pull her against my chest, and I bend my head down, resting it against hers. The act is cowardly. Wanting human contact isn't something I've ever experienced before, and the relief of her being at the hospital is overwhelming. "Thank you for coming to Erudite. And thank you for signing all that paperwork."
She lets out a burst of laughter, and she very carefully slides her arms around me. "You're welcome. Good luck to them when they try to look up Everly Coulter."
"Everly…"
She lets go when there is a knock on the door, and I'm sure my expression is pure horror. "Who is that?"
"It's probably a neighbor. I'll go get it." Everly stares for a second, then smiles and heads downstairs before I can even guess who would be here. I stare at the doorway, exhaling the stress of the afternoon. I figure I'll get dressed and take a nap.
That way, if someone is here, I can claim unconsciousness as an excuse not to talk.
"Why is he fucking sparkly?"
I mumble this against Everly, half asleep. My head is on her chest, my arm is thrown over her, and the dull headache that started up again is finally subsiding. Whatever Daniel had given me to take is strong; I swallowed two pills twenty minutes ago and was about to fall asleep while Everly watched a movie about a nightmarish man who claimed to be a vampire and never took off his jacket.
In a daring plot twist, he chooses to go to school, attempting to blend in with teenagers.
"I don't know. He has nice hair, though."
Her comment makes me scowl, and my eyes close halfway. Her fingers are in my hair, raking through the longer parts and occasionally scraping my scalp. The feeling is insanely pleasant. No one has ever touched my hair like this, and when she stops, I move my head to encourage her to keep going.
"You have nice hair, too. I wonder if your dad was surprised to see it so long. Or was it long in Erudite?" She resumes running her fingers through the top, twisting a few pieces as I shake my head no. I'm sure Daniel was horrified to see what I look like. I grudgingly admit I like the transformation. I feel strong here. I feel like I'm doing something, even if my plant in Hank's class had died from neglect or I hadn't memorized all of Jerry's cow's names. "His hair looks like yours used to."
I nod, and my eyes shut completely.
To my delight, the knock on the door was May, dropping off dinner. She didn't ask to come inside or stay, and Everly must have put it away and returned to come make sure I was alive. She climbed into bed with me, and very carefully asked to see my head. I threw her a dirty look, and she threw one right back, insisting she'd signed the forms and had a responsibility to me. So I sat up, stared at her, then put my head on her chest and let her look at the stitches.
She was quiet, pressing gently around the area and shrugging when it looked fine. I didn't move because I was tired, and she didn't ask me to.
She didn't ask me where my shirt was, either.
I'd skipped getting dressed past boxers, and it was an excellent decision on my part. Her fingers slide down the back of my head, to my shoulders, then my back.
"May told me if your dad comes back, I could invite him to stay for dinner. She said he'd probably like that. I could try and make something. Maybe…maybe lasagna."
I fall asleep right as I picture the kitchen on fire, going right up in flames as she tries to prepare dinner for a man who doesn't deserve it, and the vampire with sparkly skin and great hair lurks in the background.
I'm so tired I don't even have the heart to tell her not only will Daniel never show up, he probably wouldn't eat anything she made.
To the surprise of no one, I sleep right through the night. I wake up only once, to something hooting in the darkness, and Everly is sound asleep. I lift my head up slowly, stretching my neck from side to side, and I decide not to return to the pillow.
I lie back down where I was, and I go right back to sleep, too exhausted to move another inch.
The guests are frequent, and all are overwhelmingly concerned.
May is first.
She brings all sorts of dinners she's made, a few desserts, and she tells me this is good for me. She insists this way, I can see what I'm made of. I can't lead an army if I'm weak, and a little head trauma shouldn't slow me down. I ignore her insanity, since my head still hurts and I feel like I'm a hundred and ten, and she leaves when Everly informs her I can lead an army once my head stops bleeding.
Jerry is second.
The poor guy looks utterly despondent over the thought that his son came after me. We have a weird bond, one of both knocking down barns and being asked to take our shirts off, and he's desperate to keep it that way. He apologizes, over and over, and promises he gave Landon hell for attacking me. As punishment, he also took Landon's favorite racoon away, something I didn't even know was a thing.
Everly's family, all one hundred of them, are next.
Hank is especially concerned, maybe more so than Eden. He sits beside me on the couch, asking how I feel and offering me all the time off I could ever want. He tells me not to worry about initiation, and he echoes Eden's concern of what they did to me in Erudite. He's mistrustful even when I explain not only does Daniel specialize in the brain, he's my father, and it's unlikely he'd try to do anything funny while I was there. Eden gives me some tea to drink, some cookies to eat, and asks if there is anything else I need. She also gives me something to put on my temples, but Everly shakes her head no, and when Eden isn't looking, she takes the bottle and hides it.
Zander is the most excited.
He asks to see my head multiple times, pokes at me in a way that makes me nervous and has to be dragged away by one of his siblings to distract him. I try to keep them all straight –Paisley, Holly, Leif, and Wesley –but they are a blur of blonde hair, darker blonde hair, blue eyes, and bare feet. The girls are dressed like Everly, but their hair is braided around their heads. The boys look like Hank, and they mumble hellos at me, then scamper off to take Zander outside.
Their attention and concern is overwhelming. Forrest stops by to drop off beer, something Eden tells me not to drink right away, and he brings Willow with him. She is nice, but very quiet. She's thin and taller than anyone else in the Carlen family, and her dress is bright yellow. She blinks at me without saying much, and I swear she's not any older than Everly.
I thank all of them for coming. Fortunately, no one stays too long. Eden rounds up her million children, Hank gives me a book to read –a murder mystery based off a true story about a zoo and it's owners, and he tells me he'll see me whenever I'm back.
The house falls silent before the rest of the visitors drop by: Howard, looking slightly better than the last time I saw him, Judd, bringing some fresh fruit and some hair gel, and Jake and Ryan. I find myself in a much better mood when they arrive, and they enthusiastically explain how they got the TV, how to watch it, and how to find movies.
They're equally horrified when I tell them which one Everly picked out last night.
It's surprisingly nice to have them here.
I show them a few other things I know how to find on there, the news from Erudite, how to hack into the programming to access all the shows, and then my phone. They are both intrigued, and they tell me they're going to try and find phones so they can call me. Their friendship is honest and pure, and Ryan reminds me he still wants to be in the army. So does Jake. I tell them sure, and they push to have our first meeting as soon as I feel better.
They leave right as Everly starts dinner, and the knock on the door makes me think they've left something behind. I decide I'll get it, and my final surprise of the day is the last person I'm expecting.
There on the porch, looking visibly upset, is Ian.
"I heard you were hurt. I heard you split your head open, and they took you straight to Erudite. Had I known this, I would have told you not to go. Eden can stitch you up. There's no reason to involve them. Every time we go there, it's just another reason for them to think they're so smart."
Ian waves his fork in the air, pausing to tell Everly the lasagna is very good. She thanks him, staring with wide eyes, and turns out, she doesn't really know him. She knew of him, but not who he really is. He'd barged in the second I opened the door, apologized profusely, and told me Elisa had been very nicely yelling at him for weeks to go apologize for telling me never to come back.
Over the lasagna Everly made, he explained they had no kids, something that he didn't seem to like, and he had often wondered how Daniel had a son when he had no time for one. I got some minor insight into Daniel's world –plenty of demanding surgeries, published papers, and a constant need to keep learning and being the leader in a technically advanced field –and I had some appreciation for his dedication to his chosen career.
Ian also went on to explain he was incredibly sorry for being rude, he thought I was very polite and very smart, and he'd love to have us over for dinner.
Next time.
He looked so much like Daniel that it was hard to separate the rejection from him. I struggled to just accept everything he said. Even Everly looked hesitant, but she kept quiet, and ate her dinner slowly, all while observing him.
"Eden suggested I go to Erudite. I think it was deeper than she was prepared for." I swallow down a bite of dinner, and I'm impressed. "Did you make this? It's really good!"
"I did," Everly perks up. "May gave me all the ingredients and the directions. I froze what she dropped off. I wasn't sure if you'd want it. I think it's all vegan."
"Are you vegan? You can't be vegan. You're too fit to be vegan. You shouldn't be anyway. What about you, Everly? You aren't vegan are you? You're…well, you look like you should eat some more. How tall are you? Hank is pretty tall, isn't he? Your mom isn't tall, though."
Everly watches him, her fork frozen in the air.
He speaks rapidly, his questions coming in short bursts, and I can see his mind whirling.
"You two are getting married, right? It's all I hear these days. I got an earful from Howard when I went by to check on his panels. Raving about how much he likes Eric and Everly is finally happy and he's hoping to host the ceremony here. Some minor concerns about Harrison coming back. You heard from your dad lately?"
Everly blinks.
Her fork wavers, and she finally sets it down without taking a bite. "Um, no. I haven't heard from him. I think he's busy."
"Really? I swore I saw him last week. Up at the north site. I went out toward the fence. I swore it was him. Maybe not." Ian emphasizes every few words, and the vocal tic makes my head throb.
"I don't know. I never really know when he's going to show up. It all depends on how busy he is." Her shrug is slow, and it's hard to miss the tension on her face.
"Okay, so have you set a date? After initiation? Before the end of initiation? Where are you planning on living?" Ian asks quickly, and his questions are great ones.
Unfortunately for him, the answers aren't what he wants to hear.
"We're not…engaged," I inform him slowly, and disappointment slides across his face. "We live together but…"
"You aren't going to marry her? Everyone wants to marry Everly." Ian looks profoundly confused. "I thought…I swore I heard you were getting married. If you're married, you get better housing anyway. They think you're going to have a million kids. Actually, there's a home near us that just went vacant. I could put in a good word with Johanna. Nice area. Very quiet. Lots of squirrels and plenty of space. You should at least consider it."
The awkwardness of the conversation isn't what I expect. I don't so much care that he's asking me if I'm married, or will get married, but more that Everly has a funny look on her face, and it's pretty on par to when he asked her about Harrison. I scoot over closer to her while Ian stands up to get another drink, and when she raises her eyes to mine, her expression isn't one I've seen before.
She looks embarrassed. Probably because she'd written her last name as mine, and probably because I'd just reminded her none of that was real. She'd done it to sign me out of the hospital, and there was no question she wanted me to come home.
Now, she looks away, and her stare falls to the plate of salad she's barely touched.
"Hey…" I move closer, and I nudge her with my arm. She still doesn't look up, and when Ian's phone rings, I realize I have a few seconds.
I was learning I loathe when she looks like this. Her hopes were always high, so when something punched them back down, it was more drastic than it needed to be. It was like all her hopes were on me, and that was a lot of pressure given I'd only come here to piss off Jeanine.
Still, I refused to let her feel like crap because of a question. I'd long thought the idea of being married at nineteen was ridiculous, but I was learning I'd have to retrain my thoughts. I wasn't someone who was actively seeking out a wife, but I certainly didn't want to be alone.
Especially not after sleeping beside her.
"Come here."
I reach over as Ian yelps that they need to check some random generator and cable combination, and I pull her against me. She looks up, struggling to smile, and I shake my head.
"Who are all your other suitors? Is it Judd? Is that what you do when I fall asleep? You go hang out with the employee of the month at the general store?" I try to sound serious, and she throws me a faux dirty look. "Look, I know what you're thinking and…I don't…not want to marry you. I don't think I've ever thought about marrying anyone."
"Ever?" She looks shocked, like this is something I should have considered. "And I'm fine. I'm not upset. I'm just…I don't know why Harrison wouldn't come see me, and then…I thought we were close. You said my name in your sleep last night. But then you look horrified at the idea of anyone thinking you might be…with me in any way. It's my own fault. I volunteered to live here. I should have known you…you just came here to get away from everyone."
"No." I shake my head furiously. "It's not you. I don't have the best track record, or any track record, of having a fiancée so you'll have to bear with me. I did pick here to fuck with everyone, but…it's not at all what I expected. I'm glad you live here."
"We don't have to get married." She looks up, and she's definitely lying. "Maybe we can just stay living together and…"
She can't finish the sentence. My stomach tenses up at the disappointment all over her. She averts her eyes then wiggles away and stands up abruptly. "Actually, I'll be back. I'm not feeling very well."
"Everly –"
"What happened to her? Is she okay?" Ian returns just as she leaves, and he takes the seat across from me. "No? You look a little pale yourself."
"I think she's upset I said we aren't engaged," I sound confused, and I am. "Am I supposed to be married by now? It's only been –"
"The faster the better," Ian returns to his lasagna, and he blinks behind his large glasses. "It's not just her. All the girls are taught the best thing they can do is find a husband. She's probably been told the sooner she's married, the better it is for her. If you don't marry her, someone else will. Plus, she probably doesn't want to be alone. If she's alone, they'll try to get her to move back in with Hank and Eden. Not because she can't be alone, but because she can help with the kids."
I stay silent. I take a few more bites of my dinner, and I set my fork down. None of this sits right with me. Everly is pretty happy here, and I don't want to ruin that by having her upset. "I'm gonna go check on her."
"You go ahead. I gotta call Vinny back. We're having some technical issues today. More than I'm in the mood for. He's my assistant."
I leave Ian at the dining room table, tapping way at his phone, and I head upstairs. I call out Everly's name to silence, and when I do find her walking out of the bathroom, her eyes look wet.
"Are you crying?"
"No, I'm fine." Everly looks at me, and she crosses her arms over her chest. "I'm sorry for leaving. I just…I don't know. He asked a lot of questions and it seemed like…like…maybe should marry Noelle. She's really smart. And she's been bugging me about you for weeks. Or maybe…that girl who came looking for you. She was pretty tall and horrible."
"Ashley?" I stare at Everly in utter horror, and I refuse to let her think I want to be with either of them.
"Yeah, whatever her name is. She was asking where you were. She said she lives in Erudite." Everly takes a step back and I take a step forward. "She said that you were her…her…"
Everly can't finish her sentence.
First, because saying I was Ashley's boyfriend is a gross misconception and neither of us wants to hear her say it.
Second, because I take her face in my hands and I tilt her head up at me. The action surprises her, and I refuse to let her believe anything Ashley told her.
Whatever that might have been.
"There is no Ashley. Or Noelle. I mean, Noelle exists but not here. Not in this house. Not with you." I hold her stare, desperate for her to understand. "I want this and I want to keep having this and if it's not with you then what was the point of coming here? I sleep by you every night. You made sure I didn't die in my sleep. Why would I throw that away for someone who cheated while labeling the parts of a plant and doesn't even have family here?"
Her lips part to answer, and I try to relay how important she is. It seems like there's something else bugging her, but for now, I reassure her it's just her and me.
"Eric…"
I bend down to kiss her for the first time in days, and her hands immediately mimic my own. She takes my face in her hands, and her fingers creep into my hair, curling and pulling as her lips part. I take her lower lip between mine, and I all but forget my uncle is downstairs, eating dinner and talking away on his phone.
"Everly."
I move away from her lips, dragging my mouth across her cheek, and down her neck. She lets out a squeak of approval when I find the juncture of her neck and shoulder, and I sink my teeth in. There is no drawn out delirium here: it's a full-blown sensory explosion. She is soft and warm, her skin is salty and sweet, and she's real and slight when I pick her up. I back her up against the wall, and just like in the lake, her legs wrap around my waist.
"Okay, but Ian…he's…he's…we left him downstairs."
Everly tries to remind me our guest is probably wondering what's happened to us, but I don't care. I kiss her harder, one hand viciously deep in her hair, and one around her back, and my hips react before I can realize what I'm doing. My entire body wants her. Every vein in my body screams in pure desire to walk her back to the bed and show her just how much I like her. I want to yank the billowy dress off, I want to feel her hands on my back just like last night, but with less head trauma, and I want her wiggling beneath me.
These thoughts hit me one after the other. They run their own film in my head, and I come dangerously close to making it a reality when she whimpers, and her legs tighten around me.
The noise drives home the reminder if I don't stop now, I won't.
"Shit, I'm sorry." I mutter, pressing my mouth over the raw skin of her lips, and the bright red mark on her neck. I lower her down slowly, and her eyes are so dark they look like the deepest part of the forest in the middle of the night. "I didn't mean…actually, I did mean but…"
My train of thought is lost when she lunges for me, knocking me back a single step and kissing me. It's a frenzied explosion of how she feels, the frustration over being asked when I would marry her, and her worry about what Landon had done. Her lips press firmly, warm and soft, and she reaches for my neck. When I bend down to deepen the kiss, she stops, and rests her forehead against mine.
"I don't want to stop but your uncle is yelling your name and I don't think you want him coming up here." Everly whispers, and she tightens her grip. "Plus, your dad said you're supposed to take it easy and I'm sure he didn't mean this."
"Are you really talking about him right now?" I hiss, glaring when she pulls away. She kisses my cheek, and I don't let go of her. "Everly…those papers in Erudite…"
"I know what I wrote." It's her turn to smirk. She fixes her dress, smoothing down the skirt, then her hair. Once presentable, like I hadn't been about to slam her back into the wall, she informs me she's going to tell Ian I'll be right down. Her smile is happier, definitely a little smug, and much brighter than before. "I'll see you downstairs."
It hits me that I'd be an absolute moron not to marry her, and I have to figure out what to do next. Until I do, I sit down on the edge of the bed, waiting until the throbbing erection dies down, and my heart rate is something more normal.
A few minutes later, I rejoin Everly and Ian like nothing happened, and he brightly informs us he'd love to come to the wedding, whenever we decide to have it.
Everly and I glance at each other, and this time, her smile is pretty damn happy.
I get almost two weeks off.
By the time I return to initiation, the skies are more grey than blue, and the mornings are cold. I wake up to Everly right next to me, unconsciously trying to stay warm, and I welcome the feeling. I no longer want her to move, nor do I shove her away. On a single night when she really didn't feel good –something muttered about cramps and I couldn't remember her saying she'd gone to work out –she curled herself up far away. She looked pale and cranky, and I coaxed her over with the promise of agreeing to a seventy-fifth warm blanket on the bed and my bare chest.
She immediately pressed herself into my chest, and I immediately realized she really felt like garbage. I pressed my fingers down her back, until I reached her lower back, and she lowly asked if I'd keep them there.
That was the day I realized she wasn't invincible. I guess I'd thought because she had the upper hand here, nothing bothered her. But it did. I'd been seeing it all along, that Everly had very real feelings, something I didn't know how to handle, and there were times when I trampled on them. Telling Ian we weren't married was the truth, but it hurt after she spent a night taking care of me. Explaining to him I'd never thought of getting married was another truth, but it hinted I didn't even entertain the idea now.
So while she was strong, able to touch the worms, reign in Zander, and not freak out when Carole's mother fucking chickens got into the kitchen at two in the morning and scared the shit out of me, she sometimes wasn't.
Blythe would have shoved a painkiller at her and waved her off to bed. Daniel would have admitted her to the hospital and ran a million tests, only to frown when it was nothing catastrophic. What she needed was for someone to rub her back and make sure she was alright.
That was the night I learned she most definitely got cramps, I most definitely had a lot to learn about her, and I most definitely did not want her to marry someone else.
This lesson was taught to me over the two weeks at home with her. The careful way I touched her slipped. My fingers lingered in her hair, teased lower as they stroked along her collarbone, and stumbled over her ribs. I brushed them over cold skin turned warm by my own hands, pressed up her spine, and sometimes right back down. I grew aware of her legs over mine, learned the bumps and shapes of her knees, and watched her stare back at me with half hooded eyes.
On the night before I returned to initiation, I kissed her goodnight. It wasn't unusual; it had become routine, just as much as brushing my teeth or making sure the door was locked. Everly deserved just as much attention as anyone else, maybe more. She willingly gave me all of hers, so I returned the favor. I kissed her slowly, the action once strange and foreign now familiar and arousing, and I touched her side.
Her pajamas changed, slowly losing the oversized fabrics in exchange for my shirts or a soft tank top, all loose enough that I could slide my hands under. I grew familiar with what spots evoked certain reactions, and I quickly figured out she'd whimper if my hands slid far enough up her thighs.
The only thing stopping me from going any further were Eden's words, spoken aloud and without any hesitation: she'll have no problem having children when she's ready.
I hadn't taken Carole's sex education course, but I was smart enough to know once it got to that point, there would be nothing between us. I would be sleeping with Everly, not just to get off or because we were bored, but because I was committing to us. I would be aware of the outcome of my actions, and that they could result in a child. There would be no chance to reconsider living in Amity, and no hidden-in-the-back-of-my-mind escape plan where I could call Jeanine and ask to leave.
I'd never really considered either of those thoughts, but they lingered there, safe and permanent, like a soothing option just in case I wanted to bolt.
If anything, I didn't want a way out.
I was losing myself here, or maybe I was finding myself. Maybe I was learning being strong wasn't smacking someone in the face with the butt of a gun or beating the crap out of my friends. Running ten miles or sleeping in a dark row of bunkbeds while my friends wept out of sheer exhaustion.
Maybe being strong was exhaling heavily, and out of pure frustration, when I wake up to Everly's hand down my boxers, very gently coaxing the waistband down.
"I hope you aren't starting something you can't finish."
My eyes close when her tiny hand covers the length of me. She's warm, curled against my side with nothing but my shirt on, and her hair skims my chest. My heart clenches painfully when she doesn't move, then even tighter when she does.
Her grip is awkward, but it only takes her a second to figure out what she's doing.
In the early morning, when the sky is still dark and threatening to storm, she strokes me up and down. Everly watches with a careful eye, until she leans closer to really see what she's doing.
"Does that feel good?" She glances back, dark eyes and wet lips, and I can barely answer her.
It feels beyond good. This came not out of nowhere, but out of a desire for this to be more than just dark stares and fumbling fingers. I'd refrained from jerking myself off to the thought of her, purely because it felt wrong. She was soft and sweet, too good to be true, even when the dresses turned shorter and more fitted, and her hands were often all over me. I'd refrained from doing anything, because it was like a delicious, drawn out torture, to know that it would come to a head someday.
The tension built slowly. She was my friend first, a tiny little guide to the Amity faction, or maybe she was my wife first. I try to remember, but her thumb grazes the tip of my cock and I nearly come right then and there.
"Yeah…yeah, it does." I grit out, and Everly and her lack of experience quickly catch on.
Much like I would, she watches to see what happens when she slows down. Speeds up. Her green eyes lock on mine, wild with power and lust as my head falls back, and I dare say she's impressed with herself.
"I like how you look," she half whispers, half sounds tipsy with delight, and her hand tightens. I reach down to help her, not wanting her to stop, and she shoves my hand away. "No, I want to do it. I've never done this before but I want to see you –"
"Fuck," I groan, and had I known choosing Amity meant I'd wind up with her hand down my boxers, stroking my erection, I'd have fucking run here. "Everly, don't stop. Don't…wait…let me…."
I manage to rip the boxers down. The feeling of freedom is exhilarating, even more so when her eyes greedily take in the sight before her. She eyes me up and down, smiling in approval, and she shifts so she's somewhat facing me.
"You really are handsome," she reaches out to touch my thigh with her free hand and the feeling is almost too much.
"Don't forget tall," I mutter, and I force myself to think of anything but her touching me. I think of Carole, dancing around like a lunatic in a flower crown. I think of Howard, his bug eyes widening as he told me how to divide up corn. I think of her brother, crowing how I could marry her the very first day I met her.
I should have listened to him.
"How could I forget that," she laughs, the sound light and far away, and she wiggles herself closer. Her shirt falls off one shoulder, and I reach for her before I can stop myself. My fingers touch her side, desperate to feel her, desperate for her to be closer. "Eric, are you close? I don't know…how do I tell?"
There are a lot of signs, but my brain can't put together two words. I can feel the precum dripping, spilling onto her fingers, and my hips thrust into her hand on their own. She shifts forward, moving her hand faster, and I wonder if I'm dreaming. All of this combined with the cold, sharp air of the bedroom, and the soft warmth of her against my leg is too much.
"Everly—" Her name gets cut off by my groan, and a warm sensation spreads through my thighs, tightens in my stomach, and becomes unstoppable. I give in to it, saying her name over and over, and it hits before I can warn her.
I come right in her hand, grunting her name as her hand keeps going, until the feeling of total and complete zen washes over me. I collapse back against the pillow, enjoying the feeling of her loosening her grip, and pulling her hand away with a very faint oh.
"I'll be right back. You can sleep for a few more hours if you want. It's really early. I just woke up and you were…you seemed really frustrated."
I have to be dreaming.
She leans over to kiss me, and her smile is wide and genuine. I fumble to pull my boxers back up, and my brain insists I return the favor to her. Except she's gone, washing her hands in the bathroom, and the blankets are really warm and soft.
I fall asleep a whole three seconds later, warm and sated and unwilling to move, but very willing to marry her if this is my future.
"Okay, we've learned how to harvest crops, how to drive and maintain some of the equipment here, and how to feed and keep the animals. Hank has shown you how to work in the greenhouses and care for the plants. During the winter, we have limited availability when it comes to what grows, and you got to see how we handle feeding all the factions. Today, we're tackling one of the lesser known areas of Amity, building and architecture."
I stand near the center of the group with Jake and Ryan. To the side of me are Everly, Sophia, and Courtney. Behind them are Trent, Trevor, and Noelle. The rest of the class spans far and wide, all patiently waiting to hear what Hank is having us do next. I was curious what else they'd show us, and I'd almost asked if I could talk to Johanna. I had a few ideas pop into my head out of nowhere, and I wanted to see what she thought.
I wasn't exactly sure of my place here.
I was sure Johanna had an inkling I'd transferred not out of a burning desire to live in Amity, but as a way out of Jeanine's claws. Amity and Erudite had a fairly positive reputation, but if Jeanine knew the factionless helped here, or sometimes lived here, she'd put an end to that.
I figure I'll find time later, because for now, Hank cheerfully has us follow him to Jerry's.
"Are we building a house?" Noelle's voice rises up, displeased with today's plan.
I smirk when I notice her dress is white, and I think of the gigantic mess she'll be wearing when we're done.
"We are. They've already started framing it, but we'll be helping out for the morning. In Amity, almost everything is built by us. If something needs to be built, we build it. We have a community of architects, electricians, plumbing experts, and artists who help create all the buildings here. Some of you may have noticed there are a wide variety of homes; these have all been designed and built by the members of Amity." Hank pauses, and his face lights up. "I'd like to introduce you to a few of these members."
We all wait while he waves over a few people, and Everly elbows me when I know not one, not two, but three.
"Most of you know May, she's our head plumber here. We have Kevin, our second in command electrician. He often works with Ian to make sure the faction has and maintains power. Our lead architect, who helps design the homes best suited based on what members are looking for is Elisa Coulter, Ian's wife, and finally, Joseyln who runs a small group who are in charge of the manual labor. They pour concrete, do woodwork, dry wall, and general building. Today, you'll talk with each of them and see if their area of expertise is something you're interested in."
Hank finishes with a proud grin, and behind him, Ian waves at me. It's enthusiastic, a far cry from the man who told me not to come back to his house, and next to him, Elisa waves, too. May rolls her eyes, but she throws me a smile anyway, and I smile back tightly.
She'd shown up this morning to drop off some muffins, and she very slickly told me the meeting was a go.
"Alright, we're all going to walk together. If you have questions, we'll tackle them on the way." Hank gestures for everyone to follow him.
The class takes off obediently, and there are lots of conversations buzzing. Most are excited; we've grown accustomed to the physical aspect of living here, and this will be no different. It'll be hard work, but it's never done alone.
I walk with Everly, and she takes hold of my arm when we reach the fork in the pathway.
"Are you really having that meeting?" We pause as Noelle, Trent, and Trevor shuffle past, and only Noelle tries to stall. She has the unfortunate position of being pushed on by the class, and I ignore her stare when Everly looks up at me.
I chew on the side of my cheek while she waits, and all I can think about is what happened this morning.
I'd woken up to her hand down my boxers, gently stroking me to orgasm. She was sweetly inexperienced, but it made no difference. She quickly figured out what she was doing, and I came in her hand, while she stared at me with wide eyes. If I thought about it, I could still feel the ghost of her hand on me, and how incredible it had been to watch her. Her eyes had darkened, her lips were wet, and her hair spilled over her shoulders. The image of her leaning over me is burned in my brain, and it comes rushing back.
"Yeah, I think May arranged it. I'm still not sure what she expects, but I guess I'll find out." I smile at her without thinking; the action is natural, and mostly because of her flushed cheeks and pretty grin.
She smiles back, then releases my arm and takes hold of my hand. "Come on. We better go before both my dad and your uncle wonder where we went. Ian might be suspicious a second time."
"Everly," I snort, walking in the direction of Jerry's house. "No one is suspicious. They just want it to happen."
"Yeah," she agrees, and her voice is even and light. "Me too."
Two hours later, I sit on a tree stump and wipe off my forehead.
Ian sits on an empty crate beside me, wiping dust off his shirt and pants with a scowl, and Jake and Ryan join us, collapsing onto the ground to enjoy a reprieve from building a house.
Turns out, the construction is much more complicated than I had imagined. Elisa gave a quick introduction to how one mapped out the dimensions, and Trevor and Trent looked horrified that there was math involved. She went on to show what most families in Amity want: space for the family, a fire place for when the winter came and the homes needed to be heated, lots of large windows, and outdoor space by the way of patios or porches.
Oh, and a million bedrooms for a million children.
Ian explained how the homes are powered; solar panels are used in strategic places, and sometimes not at all. If a few homes have enough, the rest of the homes don't have to have them. This sparing use doesn't ruin the aesthetic of living here. The homes generally need little power, but water and plumbing are definitely important.
By the time May and Kevin gave their speeches, most initiates, transfers and Amity born, were excited to help out.
That changed a few hours later. I'd helped lift several large, wooden beams and place them as supports. I'd nailed the framework for a pantry together. I'd framed out a room. I'd helped May inspect plumbing. I lifted and cut wood when asked, and I bowed out when the drywall started, informing Hank I was going to take a second to get a drink.
He told me to take as long as I needed.
I sat down by Ian, and he immediately asked me how Everly is, and if we were still on track to wed as Amity's youngest and fastest couple ever.
"We are," I tell him brightly, laughing at the look of approval on his face. "You know, the idea is interesting that all she'd want to do is get married and have kids. I've never once heard her say she wants this giant family."
"One is fine. Maybe two. Anyway, I know. It's ass backwards. When I got here, I couldn't believe the number of girls just wanting to marry whoever. Then I realized, it's what's expected. This place needs members to run, and they know it." Ian pauses, adjusting the thick black frames before shoving them back up his nose. "But it's not a bad place to live. If you were going to raise a family anywhere, this would be a fantastic place. Wide open spaces. Families who will do anything to help. Lakes to swim in. A literal forest for a backyard. Imagine trying to raise your child in Erudite."
"It would be different, that's for sure." I take a sip of icy water, and I relish the feeling of doing nothing. "Hey, can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, yeah of course. Elisa said I should answer whatever you ask, but also, because you are my nephew, and I want us to be close. So ask away. Is it about Everly? Are you asking me…" Ian pauses, leaning in to whisper conspiratorially. "Is it about what happens after you get married? Did Daniel not tell you about –"
"No, not that," I shake my head at him in mild annoyance when Jake and Ryan snicker, but he means well. "I wanted to ask if you've ever thought about talking to Daniel. Eden said he's banned from coming here, but he's been here."
"He's not banned. No one is really banned. They just asked him to ease up and maybe send someone else instead of him." Ian rolls his eyes. "There is nothing your father likes more than telling everyone what he knows. I heard he gave Eden a hard time for not wanting to stock all the medicines Erudite has. She keeps a minimal amount on hand and he didn't like that. To answer your question, no. I don't want to talk to him. He gave me an earful when I left Erudite and I'm aware of how he feels. He made sure I knew, actually."
I nod, having guessed all this. "I was just wondering. He asked if he could come by."
"What!?" Ian chokes on his water. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and eyes me warily. "What did you say? Was it no?"
"I didn't answer really. Everly said yes, he could come by. I finally agreed, but I don't think he ever will." I scan the area to see if I can spot Everly. I can't. I see Noelle doing her best to help tighten the gasket on a pipe, and when it sprays her in the face, she resembles a drowned rat. "He was the one who did the stitches. He had lots to say while I was there."
"Well, you know what I heard?" Ian leans back in, and there's a funny bond over talking about Daniel. It's not so much that Ian is mean about it. He has every logical reason not to like his brother, but it's amusing to hear someone not worship the ground Daniel walks on. "I heard he and Blythe aren't doing so hot. They were having dinner and one of the waiters said he walked out."
"How do you know that?" I stare back, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Everly walking along a beam with Sophia and Courtney. The three of them laugh when Trent and Trevor wander over to join them, and she stumbles.
Sophia grabs onto her and their giggles are immediate when the whole beam tips over and sends them tumbling to the ground.
"I have spies everywhere." Ian doesn't even bother whispering. In fact, he makes sure Jake and Ryan are listening. "Okay, well, I just know a few people. I was there the other day to check on some electrical issues. Every so often, they mess with the solar panels and everything goes to shit."
"Daniel is your father?" Jake looks at me, and Ryan glances my way. "We heard about him. We heard you guys aren't really close."
"No. We're not."
I answer flatly, knowing my response is just a little insight to myself. I knew they were bound to have some questions about me, and each mystery would be brought up until it was solved. I wonder if anyone ever has any secrets, or if everyone knows everything.
When Courtney turns to look at me, with wide, curious eyes, I have a feeling I know the answer.
Sophia joins her, and both their stares drop lower, before they turn bright red and skip away.
"Did you tell them?"
I stand behind Everly while she brushes her teeth, and her eyes meet mine in the mirror. She flashes me an innocent grin around her toothbrush, and it wavers when I step closer. My bare chest touches her back, the thin fabric of one very flimsy nightgown or dress or whatever it is she has on, and she leans back.
"Did I tell them what?" She pauses to turn on the water, and her smile is quick.
"I think you know what," I bend down and around her, and I reach forward to grasp the sides of the sink, and her eyes widen. "Do you tell them everything?"
"Not…everything," Everly answers defensively, but not entirely. "I left out some of the details."
"Oh, did you?"
I lean down so my lips graze her cheek, and her weight rests against me. I can practically feel her heart speeding up, and she does her best to ignore me. She rinses her mouth and turns off the water without breaking her stare.
"I said that you were…very…um…" Everly loses her train of thought when my hands reach for her hips, and I pull her back flush against me.
Our reflection in the mirror is amusing. She's slight against me, and the hard work here has paid off. At least for me. Everly looks the same, maybe different with bare feet and her hair down, but I look far different than the Eric who showed up here. She stares at my arms, the tensed bicep and the forearm pulling her toward me, and her lips turn up.
"I said you were even larger with your clothes off. They asked. It would have been rude not to answer." She explains with complete confidence, and brave little Amity reaches up. She snakes her arm behind my head, and her fingers touch my hair. "They just wanted to know where you slept. And if you were enjoying your time here. I said I was pretty sure you like it so far."
"Mmmhm." I snicker, and when I glance up, there's a wavy moment of deja vu. For a brief second, we are not here, in the warm bathroom of Amity bathed in gold light. We are somewhere else, standing in harsher lights, in a bathroom twice the size. She looks the same, but I don't. There are flashes of dark black on my skin, slices of metal, and a severe haircut meant to emphasize my unapproachableness. The feeling fades when her fingers curl into my hair, and the last few blurry lines of what we are fade away completely.
"Are you ready for bed? You're supposed to meet Johanna tomorrow and I know you said you were tired earlier."
I nod against Everly's cheek, dragging my lips all the way across to her neck, and I try to shake the image from my head.
In a moment of total insanity, I like this version of myself, and I don't want anything else.
In the morning, Johanna is not alone.
My meeting with her is to go over my time here, and to tentatively select an area to work in. The choice is not at all permanent. Amity is fluid; so long as you contribute, it counts. I could decide I wanted to become a poultry therapist, but if it helped the faction, they'd allow it.
They allowed all kinds of things, including Everly living with me, and sleeping with her face pressed against my throat. I had the sneaking suspicion even if someone guessed what was going on, that this wasn't just two roommates going to bed at night, or two exhausted initiates collapsing into their shared space, they wouldn't bat an eye.
The real goal was total and complete acceptance. I'd pass initiation, prove I truly wanted to be here, select a job, and start my new life. If it happened to come with a dark-haired wife, not only was that fine with them, it was encouraged.
Even now, Johanna's smile is gentle and soft, and it's quite the contrast to those beside her.
May, looking serious and impatient.
Jerry, looking concerned he'd been invited.
And Harrison.
Standing at the very end, with his eyes glued to me.
I greet them all, and twenty minutes later, my brain is ready to explode.
"So she's been trying to get Rylan to take my job, and because he's hesitant, she's turning her attention elsewhere?"
I raise my eyebrow at Harrison as we walk. He and I were the last two to leave, and he asked if I had a few minutes to discuss some things. I assumed he meant his daughter. I wasn't at all afraid of him, though talking to him up close is different. I'd seen him once before, and he's still tall and intimidating. There is a roughness to him I would imagine stemmed from protecting the factions, and a gritty ease to how unbothered he is. He walks with his hands behind his back, his uniform jacket thick and heavy, and the blue stripe mocks me. His boots are laced tightly, stiff leather, stiff soles, and everything is new.
His hair is longer than I would imagine acceptable for a soldier, but it suits him.
"The hunt for Divergents is not going as well as she planned. She's having a hard time finding them. A lot of people trust her, but more don't. She has limited access to the information she really wants, which is why she looks for someone on the inside, someone who can help her. Power likes power. So she goes for anyone she thinks will have information. You were smart not to pick Dauntless." Harrison leads us away from the faction, into the part of the woods Jerry had frowned at.
"And you know this how?"
"I work for her," he throws me a look hinting I'm not really dense, but playing dense, and his eyes narrow. "It was mentioned a few times her nephew would be picking Dauntless, and we were to accept his rise to becoming a leader. Max and Tori don't love being told what to do, but we need the help. You were promised to us, and then you picked here. Now we're in a lurch, Jeanine's more pissed off than ever, and you look completely content with your new life."
"So what? Are you here to tell me to go to Dauntless? You want me to leave Amity?" I stare back at him, wondering if he had the authority to make this happen. It dawns on me he's a leader there. Everly had said he lived in Dauntless, but she failed to mention her father oversaw the faction.
Leave it to her to decide that wasn't worth mentioning.
"I'm not leaving Amity. I picked here. I'm right in the middle of their initiation and it's going fine."
"I'm aware you picked here. I wanted to know why. Was it your aunt? You really didn't want to come to Dauntless? Or was it Everly?" His tone changes to something more fatherly. "I heard you two were next to each other in line. She picked Amity, then you did."
"Are you asking me if I came here for her?" I shrug off his question, because while I had picked Amity after looking at Amity, a lot of my decision hinged on pissing off everyone who thought they'd control my future. "I didn't want to work for Jeanine. I don't want her in my business or my family. Blythe and Daniel both had an interest in where I chose."
"I don't blame you. I don't want to work for her half the time." Harrison pushes further on into the woods, and I faintly wonder if he wants to kill me.
Unlike Forrest, he probably could.
"Are you going to marry her? She's very attached to you." Harrison presses, not at all holding back. "If you are, I'd like to attend the wedding. When she was little, I promised I'd be there when she got married."
I cock my head at him.
All around us, the woods are thick and dark, but noisy. I swat a branch out of my way, and the ground slopes.
"How do you know how she is? She said she hasn't seen you in a while."
Harrison smiles. It's a knowing grin, but there's a hint of vexation behind it. I feel smug at knowing something he doesn't. I know Everly is disappointed he wasn't around lately, but I doubt many others have this insight.
Harrison points up ahead, and I follow him as he speaks. "I have my ways. I can't always get here to make sure she's okay, but I hear things. Forrest keeps me updated. We talk when we can. So if you are planning on marrying her, I'd like to know."
"And he told you she's—"
"What do you know about the fence?" Harrison interrupts me, and the concern over what my intentions are with his daughter vanish. "Have you gone to see it yet? Do they do that here? I can't remember what Johanna has everyone do for the initiation."
"I don't know anything about it," I stop beside him, and we stand near an abandoned playground. It's rickety and dilapidated, and off to the side, factionless mill around. "So far, it's mostly…. learning how to take care of the crops and work the equipment. Nothing has been brought up about the fence."
We're far enough back that they pay no mind to our arrival; a few glance in our direction, but they are utterly bored. We watch them for a few minutes with no real agenda. Once Harrison is satisfied they aren't doing anything, he turns to lead us back.
"And you like all that?" Harrison looks at me out of the corner of his eye, and it's quick. "Are you sure? You don't look like someone who wants to sit around a campfire and hang out all night."
"I've only been to one fire. I've been busy since I got here. The only break I've had was because I got a concussion."
"I heard about that. What'd they do with Landon?" His curiosity rivals mine. I wonder how well he knows Landon, or if he likes him. "Violence is frowned upon here. I'd be shocked if he wasn't made factionless."
"Is that why you can't be here?" I ask before I can stop myself, and he throws me a death glare. "I'm just wondering. I think it's really hard on Everly that you aren't here. Every time someone brings you up, she looks miserable. She's only told me a few things about you."
He stares me down and I willingly admit I feel the stirrings of panic. There's more than a flicker of fear at the look on his face because I don't know him. I don't even know anything about him, other than his daughter and son live here, and I have an inkling Zander is his, too.
I couldn't even begin to comprehend how all that worked out, or if Hank knows.
I don't back down. I look back at him, and his exhale is as heavy as ever.
"I can't be here because I work in Dauntless. Once I'm done, I'll move here. I've been stuck in the job too long as it is." He pauses, and the only sounds are the branches and leaves crunching beneath our boots. "Dauntless isn't about being violent. Just because you're brave doesn't mean you're violent. If you are, you're compensating for something. Like Landon."
"He said Everly burned him. He was mad she dumped him." I say tentatively, testing out the waters with this peace offering. "Did you know they broke up?"
"She didn't dump him. She never dated him." Harrison's tone changes to pure annoyance, and the look on his face reassures me he isn't fond of Landon. "They hung out a few times. He pushed hard to marry her when she was seventeen. Hank came to me and asked what to do. Jerry is a good friend of his and technically, she could have married him. She didn't want to, and she told me he had all kinds of ideas about the kind of wife she should be. I told her to tell him to go fuck himself."
"Did she?" I silently hope she did. "He and I had beers together and he told me she'd screw me over."
"Seventeen years old is hardly old enough to be someone's wife. Especially someone who doesn't like her for who she is. I told her she'd find someone who would appreciate her for her. Not someone who wants her to sit around all day and wait for them to come home," Harrison barks, but it's not directed at me. I sense a speck of bonding with him; he's clearly pissed off, and he's not holding back. "She did tell him to go fuck himself and I got an earful from Eden to be careful what I say. At the end of the day, both Everly and Eden agreed with me, so it wasn't a total failure."
"And what about now? You're okay if she gets married now?"
We near the Dome, and I regret that we're already back. I like Harrison. I like the roughness to him, because it camouflages his love for his daughter, but not really. He's pretty open about wanting Everly to be happy, and while he's not going about it the best way, he's trying.
I can appreciate this.
"I'm okay with it because she picked you. That's enough for me." He falls silent, but it's temporary. "And because I heard you're in charge of the new army here. Anyone willing to start an army in a faction built on avoiding conflict is okay in my book."
I nod, silently. When we reach the Dome, I notice the large grey truck parked to the side, and a few soldiers milling around. I don't know any of them, but I suddenly wonder why they're here. One talks with Johanna, and one watches as a rooster strolls by, pausing to tilt one beady eye in his direction.
My thoughts are interrupted when Harrison slaps my arm, and his goodbye is low.
"She's not stupid, but she's young. Take care of her. If you don't, and I find out you didn't, I'll kill you myself. With or without violence. You understand? You hurt her, and I'll hurt you."
The flash of fear doesn't return, because I have zero plans of doing anything that would ever hurt Everly. She is the only good thing I've ever had in my life, and I'm not about to screw this up.
Even if it means getting married at the age of nineteen, and spending my days pretending my highest goal in life is to have more donkeys than my neighbor.
"I won't."
Harrison leaves with a sharp nod, one final glance in my direction, and a half wave. I watch him join the soldiers waiting for him with a barked command to get in the truck, and not a single one of them looks happy.
"What did he say to you?"
Everly's words are loaded with jealousy. They come out as a jumble, spilling from her lips with a sulk. It's made all the more sulky because she's lying beside me, pressing her fingers to my collarbone.
I skipped the shirt.
After a few nights of her sleeping against me, I'd learned I'd wake up dying of heat stroke with her on top of me. I'd also learned there is a chance things might continue between us. I'd purposely worn nothing but boxers, and she watched me climb into bed with her stare glued to me.
"Did you not see him?" I slide beneath cold, clean sheets, and I wonder if Landon knows what Everly looks like lying in bed. She's on her side, her hair tumbling down and her lips pressed together, and her nightgown is more or less for a small child. It's so short it barely covers her thighs, and pink. "I thought for sure he'd go find you."
"No," Everly shakes her head, and she struggles not to look upset. "I was with the daycare today. Everyone has to work in there at least once. It's normally fine, but today there were more kids than ever and they were all assholes."
"Can you say that here?" I smirk at her eye roll, and she glares at me. "What! I didn't tell you to work there!"
"I know," she mutters. "It's not you. It's…I wish I'd seen Harrison but today was terrible. I shouldn't have any kids. Ever."
"Why?" I eye her carefully, wondering where this came from. A day ago, she slid her hands into my boxers without stopping. My assumption was this would progress further and further, until we either did wind up being married, or one of us couldn't stand it anymore. "Did one of them wander off?"
"I wish," she sighs, and she moves closer when I reach my hand out to touch her side. It's effortless to coax her over to me, and when she's right in front of my chest, she looks up. "They were all super clingy. Every one of them. I just wanted to eat my lunch in peace and…everyone looked at me like I was crazy. I guess I'm supposed to have more patience or something."
"There's nothing wrong with wanting a break," I shrug, and I nudge her knee with mine. "Come here. It's supposed to rain tonight."
"It is?" she tilts her head, and I hope Landon knows what he's missed out on. Her eyes swim with every emotion possible, and she tries to figure out if I'm telling the truth. "Are you making that up, Eric?"
There's the smallest hint of a smile on her face. Her expression lightens, and the whole scenario is strange. I've never had this give and take with anyone, but I like it with her. I feel a deep desire to keep Everly by me, against me, and only with me. I don't own her, and I'm very aware of this. I think this might have been Landon's mistake. He thought he could trap her, by daring to ask to marry her a year ago, and then morph her into who he wanted.
I don't want anything but her curling herself against my chest and resting her palm flat, right in the middle.
"Yeah, for the next few days." I lie on my back, pulling her with me, and my hand rests on the back of her head. We stay there, and in the distance is the slow rumble of thunder.
I wasn't lying.
Johanna had mentioned it in passing, along with instructing Jerry to bring all the animals inside.
"We can talk about Harrison tomorrow. I'll tell you everything he said." I yawn, realizing life here is exhausting. It's exhausting in a good way, like a bone-tired feeling after a long day's work, and I don't mind it.
I mind it even less when Everly nods and her feet graze my shins.
"Goodnight, Eric."
"Goodnight," I answer her back quietly, but I don't go right to sleep. I stay awake for a while, listening to the storm creep closer. I listen for a bit, until the rain does start, and I fall asleep once it reaches its most violent peak.
The house creaks and groans, but I drift off, soothed by all of it.
In the morning, I wake up first.
I carefully move Everly off me, coaxing her onto her own pillow and pulling the covers up so she'll stay warm. This act makes me stop; I've rarely considered how others feel or what they might need, but it makes sense to take care of her.
I leave her sound asleep, and I head downstairs, listening to the storm pick up. It's a strange sound, both violent and soothing, and I decide to make coffee and figure out how to tell May I'm not sure what she thinks I'm doing. I'd spent a few hours thinking about this last night. My brain refused to stop, and I tried to think logically about what the army would accomplish. My guess is it will be secret; it won't be publicized anywhere, and it'll run only to protect those who live in Amity.
They could get around the violence by not actively attacking anyone or causing harm. I think about what Harrison said, how being brave didn't mean being violent, and being violent didn't mean you were brave, right until someone knocks on the door.
I hesitate in answering, only because I meant to make coffee first, and I wish I had when I open the door.
On the front porch, drenched in rain and looking oddly annoyed, is Landon.