The Legend of Zelda, its characters and locations are all property of Nintendo. Any and all OCs and original locations belong to me unless specifically stated to belong to someone else.

Fashion Disaster
Final Chapter

Sheik almost felt a little bad when he saw Hyrule—er, Link emerging from the men's locker room of his dojo, dressed in a borrowed white-belted gi that, admittedly, looked pretty damned good on him.

The photographer's active lifestyle had left him with a frame that was far from lacking. Not that Sheik had any doubt of that given the T-shirt Link had worn the day before, but it was nice to get some additional confirmation.

No, Sheik had not been imagining what Link would look like in a gi.

At all.

The reason he felt bad was the clear nervousness that permeated the very air around Link, who looked ready to bolt at any second as he came further into the dojo, glancing at the blinds Sheik had lowered in front of the glass window, preventing anyone from looking in.

"How's it fit?" he asked as Link stepped onto the padded mat, bare toes curling a little at the feel of it.

"Good, I think," Link replied, patting himself down uncertainly. "I don't really know what to look for in a well-fitting...er..."

"Gi," Sheik supplied helpfully.

"Right, that."

Sheik stepped closer to him, looking him up and down with the precision of a master tailor. He definitely wasn't just taking the sight of Link in. "How does it feel to move around in it?" he asked. "Do you feel it restricting your limbs?"

"Uh..."

Gods above, the man was so nervous Sheik could taste it. It was a little cute, honestly. It was like Link thought Sheik was going to kill him. He stood in front of Link and dropped into a basic ready pose.

"Stand like this," he instructed, watching as Link did his best to mimic the pose. It was...passable.

Sheik could already tell that technique wasn't going to be his biggest obstacle when facing the photographer. It was definitely going to be weight and mass. Not that it gave him leave to relax.

"Now, do you feel the gi constricting you in any way? Try moving your arms around, try taking long steps."

Link did as he was told, doing all kinds of ridiculous flailing with his limbs. "Feels okay," he finally said, looking back to Sheik. His face looked a little green.

"Good," Sheik said, clapping his hands and stepping back so they were on opposite sides of the ring. "Have you ever done judo before?" he asked.

"No," Link said, shaking his head.

"Any other martial art?"

Another shake.

"Ever...fought anyone?"

Yet another shake.

"Right, well, there's usually some rules in practice fights that need to be upheld, but since you've no experience I'll let you do whatever you feel like, while I myself will not break them. Sound good?"

"Is that really fair?" Link asked. "I mean, we should both follow the rules—"

"I have a lot more experience, Link," Sheik said, pointing at him. "If anything, this fight is already skewed in my favour, so I'll gladly give you a little handicap. Remember, though, this is a form of wrestling, so no punches or kicks, got it?"

Link didn't look convinced, but eventually nodded. "Okay," he said. "So...how are we doing this?"

"Well, first we have to warm up," Sheik said. "I'll take you through some exercises for that. Then we spar."

"And how does that work?"

Sheik paused. He hadn't really given it any thought. He'd been half-joking the night before when saying he wouldn't date anyone without fighting them first, but now...well, he wasn't about to just roll over.

"How about this," he said, "you pin me on the mat once, you win."

"Once?" Link asked. "Are you sure?"

"You'll be lucky to manage it, so why not?" Sheik said with a shrug. Fuck, it felt so good to be in charge of a situation he had no problems handling. "But if you don't manage to pin me even once..."

He left the threat hanging. Link gulped visibly, shoulders sagging a bit. However, a moment later he let out a sharp breath and steeled himself, looking determined.

Fucking cute.

Sheik felt like he was about to trounce a puppy.

Funny, how one's perception of someone could change so quickly. Up until last night Sheik had imagined Link to be a horndog. Now he was just an itty-bitty puppy in need of guidance.

Gods, Sheik felt a little pathetic.

Maybe I should hold back a little, he thought. Give him an actual chance.

"Don't hold back on me," Link said, apparently having become a mind reader in the last couple of minutes. "I can you see you thinking about it." That determined gaze met Sheik's, Link's brow knitting in concentration. "I'll win fair and square, or not at all."

"You realise if you lose there's no coffee," Sheik said.

"A risk I'm willing to take," the Hylian replied.

Well then, Sheik thought, colour me impressed.

And a little weak-kneed, he realised. Link Hyrule's face of bravery was a sight to behold, for certain.

How was this guy single, again?

Oh, right, the drooling.

"R-Right," Sheik said, clearing his throat. "Let's warm up, shall we? Follow my lead."

He took them through the basic warmup exercises he always did with his classes. It was all about getting the muscles warm and limbered up in order to handle the sixty minutes of pummelling they were in for. Link's stamina was nothing to scoff at, easily keeping up with Sheik and not getting too winded.

Climbing mountains was probably hard work in itself.

Sheik wondered if it translated to other activities as well.

"Okay, I think that does it for the warmup," Sheik said once they were finished with the last exercise, panting a little. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be, I guess," Link said.

"One last thing before we start," Sheik said. "The sign of giving up—a waitta—is two taps on whatever you can reach, whether it's me or the mat. You give up when you've been subjected to a pin, stranglehold, or other hold that you either can't counter or endure. Remember, if it hurts, you give up. I don't want to accidentally injure you."

"Two taps, got it," Link said. "You'll do the same, right?"

"If it happens, sure," Sheik said with a haughty tone that in no way was befitting a teacher, but...well, he felt like he deserved to be a little smug given the events of the day before.

Then again, a teacher would never challenge a complete newbie to a spar right away, so maybe right now Sheik shouldn't consider himself a teacher at all. Meaning no guilt.

Yeah, that sounded good. He just had to ignore what every nerve in his body told him and shove away the mental images of what Impa would do to him for challenging someone to such an unfair fight over something so inconsequential as a coffee date.

Well, inconsequential to her, maybe. It'd be Sheik's first date of any sort, so what did she know?

"Okay, enough stalling," he said, forcing himself out of the reverie he'd fallen into. "Technically, we're supposed to bow to each other before even setting foot on the mat, but we'll dispense with that for now. We'll just bow right here, right now."

He led Link through a deep, respectful bow, and then stepped closer until they were in proper reach.

"Remember," he told the Hylian, "no punching, no kicking. Other than that, go hog wild."

"So, eye-gouging is allowed?" Link said with a crooked, nervous grin.

"I'd appreciate it if you refrained from it," Sheik said dryly. "If only to spare yourself the pain of being hunted down by Kafei and Paya for hurting me."

"Duly noted."

"Right," Sheik said, falling into his default pose. "Let's begin!"

He started out strong. Link seemed to barely realise Sheik was moving before the photographer found himself landing on his back on the mat, air forced out of his lungs from the impact. This was followed by his arm being pulled in a direction it definitely wasn't supposed to go, and he gave a yelp, tapping several times on the mat with his free hand.

Sheik let go, stepping back. "You okay?" he asked.

"Uh...yeah...I think...so," Link said, panting. "You're fast."

Sheik ignored how happy the compliment made him. "Thanks," he said. "It helps to be able to surprise the opponent with speed. Take your time," he added when Link already made to stand up. "We've got all night."

"Given that start...I think I'll...need it," Link said, slowly rising to his feet. He then tried to assume the same pose that Sheik had. It wasn't perfect, but it was a definite improvement. Far better weight distribution.

"That's good," Sheik said. "Angle your back foot a little more to the right...much better. Feel how much steadier you're standing now?"

"I think so," Link said.

"I won't be able to get you off your feet so easily this time."

"You swept me off my feet already, though," Link said, even adding a very unconfident wink.

It was a terrible line, and an even worse gesture, but it struck home all the same. Sheik's chest clenched, his cheeks heating up from something else entirely than the exercise.

How dare he?!

"Distractions aren't going to work, you know," he said weakly as they lined up on the mat again. "Come on!"

Link was definitely steadier on his feet this time, but apart from that there wasn't much he could do in the face of Sheik's technique. This time, Sheik hooked his ankle around Link's and, indeed, swept his foot out from under him, sending the photographer crashing to floor, pinning him down with chokehold.

Another waitta echoed in the dojo.

"If you plan on pinning me," Sheik told him as they lined up for the third time, "you have to get more aggressive. Instead of waiting for me to move, catch me by surprise."

Link nodded, eyes hyper-focused.

And the Hylian was the first to move this time, charging at Sheik and attempting to bowl him over, grabbing him around his waist and refusing to let go. With his weight, it was only Sheik's stance that kept him from falling. And unfortunately, that weight worked against Link when Sheik shifted his balance and used his momentum to direct their fall to the mat.

His forearm cut off Link's air supply.

Only a waitta restored the airflow.

Sheik's cheeks had cooled by now, but the image of the wink had burned itself into his retinae, apparently. And now he also had to force himself not to obsess with just how solid Link felt. Everywhere he'd touched him.

I really should take up mountain climbing, Sheik thought as they got ready for the fourth time.

"Again," Sheik said. "Come on!"

To Link's credit, he was a quick learner. He only needed to be downed by the same move a few times before learning to, if not exactly counter it, at least find a way of resisting it. Sheik added a few comments here and there where he saw room for improvement (but not outright telling him what to do).

After all, Sheik wasn't going to roll over and just let Link walk over him. This was partially a night of payback.

For some time, the only sounds in the dojo were that of their heavy breathing, groans of pain (all from Link), and bodies hitting the mat. Sheik too was panting by now, actually having to put in some effort to keep Link from taking him down, as the Hylian was slowly learning to put his superior weight where it was needed, using it to his advantage.

But it didn't make up for Sheik's years and years of experience, and Link still found himself on the mat, being pinned in some manner at the end of every match.

But the matches were taking longer, and Sheik was nothing if not impressed by that.

Link glared at him from across the mat, face flushed and a bead of sweat running down his cheek. His hair was growing darker with sweat, a few locks plastered to his temples.

It was a gorgeous sight, plain and simple.

Would it be rude to give Link a signup-sheet once they were done?

Link continued to learn, and even got dangerously close to pinning Sheik once when he managed to get his hands around Sheik's middle, getting behind him, and doing a fucking suplex. It caught Sheik by surprise so badly that he needed a moment to take in what had happened, and Link had wasted no time trying to pin him down.

The feeling of having Link lying on top of him was...well, he'd have to examine that closer later.

(It was definitely going to make an appearance in his dreams that night, he suspected.)

Of course, Link's pin wasn't difficult at all to counter, Sheik slipping out from beneath him and catching the Hylian's elbow in a pincer-grip, easily capable of breaking the joint entirely if he so wished.

The waitta had a distinct angry air about it this time. Frustration embodied in two slaps against rubber.

"You're getting better," Sheik said.

"Hmph," Link grunted. "Come on."

Oh-ho, he was getting angry now. Sheik loved it.

Link's frustration only continued to grow as he was brought down again and again, Sheik maybe putting on airs that it wasn't much of a challenge between each match. He wanted to see what Link would do at the peak of his rage.

What would he do when he finally managed to pin Sheik? Sheik could only imagine what it would feel like to be under him then, with those burning blue eyes staring down at him, and...and...

Oh no, these were bad thoughts to have during a match. Sheik couldn't afford losing precious blood to his southern parts at this stage.

(Plus, it'd be really awkward to explain.)

Unfortunately, Sheik failed to realise how much of a toll these matches were taking on Link. Sheik was used to optimising his moves to conserve as much stamina he could, while Link went at him with all he had in every match.

His energy would run out sooner or later, and he was starting to decline very quickly now.

He took longer to get up after each bout, was panting hard all the time now, and didn't have the patience for chitchat.

The anger was fading, and his movements grew lethargic. It didn't take much effort to take him down, and Sheik was honestly starting to feel like he was just bullying the puppy now.

Worst of all was the look of determination that was rapidly fading and getting replaced with despair. Link was starting get discouraged.

This wasn't really what Sheik had had in mind.

"That's it," Link said panting after having been taken down for the...well, Sheik had lost count of which time this was. "I give...up. Defeat...accepted."

"Already?" Sheik said, also panting but still rising to his feet. He glanced at the clock on the wall. They'd been at it for nearly an hour. It was honestly impressive. "Come on, don't you want that date?"

"I...do..." Link panted. "Can't...win it...sorry to waste...your time..."

Sheik would've thought he was joking if it weren't for the miserable look on the Hylian's face. Fuck, this wasn't how it was supposed to go at all! Sheik cursed his love for competition, realising he had to do something so Link wouldn't get the wrong idea.

"One last match," he said. "Come on."

"I'm...done..." Link said.

"The hell you are," Sheik growled. "You owe me one last match."

"How...so?"

"Consider it repayment for the drooling," he said, needling Link for what he intended to be the last time as a plan formed in his head. "I'll properly forgive you forever if you give me one last bout. Come on, Hyrule, wipe the slate clean."

Link groaned and slowly clambered to his feet, giving Sheik a sceptical look. "I don't think I'm much...competition right now," he said.

"Gives me the pleasure of kicking your ass so totally it'll echo through space and time," Sheik said smugly, hands on his hips. "Come on."

"Fine," Link said.

Sheik even held back, interested to see what Link would do in his current exhausted state. It turned out to be a lumbering charge that, if it had succeeded, would've buried Sheik under a very sweaty, very solid mountain.

Sheik had other plans, though.

With a simple feint, Link's bulk went past, easily letting Sheik sweep his legs once more, landing the Hylian on his back for the last time that night.

But that was where the similarity with previous bouts ended, as Sheik clambered on top of him, pinning Link's lower body with his own, and trapping the Hylian's hands by the wrists, their faces ending up inches apart, hot breaths washing over each other with each exhale.

This was forward. Far more forward than Sheik had ever intended. Had ever been. His face was definitely burning with embarrassment now, but he hadn't figured out a better way of letting Link know of his...interest.

"You suck at this," he told Link, staring into the Hylian's eyes. Link had gone silent, eyes wide as he stared back up at him.

"S-Sorry?" Link said.

"It's okay," Sheik said, lowering his face a little further. Less than an inch separated their faces now. "I didn't expect you to win."

"D-Does this...does this mean...?" Link asked.

"Yeah, it does," Sheik said. "You're taking me out for coffee."

He didn't give Link time to answer, letting their lips meet in a hot, clumsy, oxygen-deprived kiss that lasted far too long and far too short at the same time. At some point Sheik's eyes had closed, and when he opened them as they separated from the kiss, he realised just how lovely Link looked like this—face red and sweaty, hair all dishevelled, pupils completely blown out, trapped beneath and completely at his mercy.

He dove in for a second kiss and Link was only happy to respond in kind, his hands breaking free form Sheik's hold to cup his cheeks gently. It felt like heaven.

They withdrew once more, and Link managed to draw enough breath to say, shakily:

"Didn't...expect this tonight..."

Sheik chuckled, shaking his head as he leaned back, more or less straddling Link now, looking down at him. "Neither did I, but you forced me to improvise when you started looking so miserable."

"I thought I'd lost my chance," Link admitted. "You're good at this."

"Yeah, well—"

"Sheik! This is not a proper use for a dojo!" an exaggerated, outraged voice shouted. A voice that was all too familiar.

Stomach plunging, Sheik's head slowly turned towards the source, finding Kafei standing near the entrance of the dojo, the spare set of keys dangling from one of his hands (where had he even gotten those?!), his phone in the other. The little light beside the camera glowed red.

Sheik's entire vision turned red at the sight.

"I just came to drop off a copy of the paperwork for the shoot," Kafei said happily, staring at his phone screen, still recording. "Didn't expect such prime blackmail material. Come on, you two. Give me a big smile!"

"Kafei—"Sheik managed to growl.

"Oh, hey, you know who I bet would appreciate this footage?" Kafei asked with a huge, shit-eating grin on his face. "Sidon, that Zora model you talked to the other night!"

Sheik was surprised to hear another voice besides his own shout "No!" at the same time, looking surprised down at Link.

Huh, this was clearly something they had to work out.

"Come on, you two," Kafei continued, still grinning. "Give me a big smile!"

"Link," Sheik said.

"Sheik?" the Hylian replied, voice just as tense.

"Want to help me kill my cousin?"

"Gladly."

There was a lot of screaming in the dojo that night.

The End

And so the idiots manage to stumble their way into the goal once more. I hope this was as enjoyable to read as it was to write!

-Andy