Chapter 9

As he and Allie headed for the fishing hole, Nathan's mind was spinning.

He couldn't stop thinking about Elizabeth and the brief, yet powerful, gaze that they had just shared together. The feelings that he had felt, in that moment, outweighed anything that Nathan had ever felt before.

Finally seeing her again, after such a rough few days, had awakened a longing inside of Nathan, that he hadn't known existed. Hearing that Elizabeth wanted to talk to him gave his heart a renewed sense of peace.

Turning his attention back to Allie, he realized that she was trying to ask him a question.

"Sorry, Allie, what did you just say?"

"Uncle Nathan, you look like you're a million miles away..."

Taking in a deep breath, Nathan replied "I'm sorry! I guess I just have a lot on my mind..."

Nodding in understanding, Allie offered her support "Well, I'm a very good listener, so whenever you want to talk about it I'm all ears."

"Who are you, and what have you done with my niece? I'm surprised that you're not trying to drag it out of me."

"Well normally I would, and truth is, it's killing me not too... but I know that the best way for me help you, right now, is to let you process everything, on your own."

Giving his niece a surprised and appreciative look, Nathan replied "Thank you, Allie! That's a very mature thing for you to say, and I really appreciate your patience with me. I know that this hasn't been the easiest thing for you either… But, I promise that I will share what I can with you, when the time is right."

"Don't thank me," Allied paused to give him a knowing look, "Mrs. Thornton was the one who helped me to realize that I should give you some space, in order to help you process what you're feeling. I would have never let you off that easy, on my own. I'm too impatient."

Standing there in confusion, Nathan said, "Wait! You talked to Mrs. Thornton about me? When?"

"Yeah, I talked with her, the day after the incident. I went to see her, before school started. I was having a hard time, because I was really worried about you. But, Mrs. Thornton helped me to understand that you're the type of person who needs time to reflect on your feelings, before sharing them. She also told me that, by not pushing you for information, I'm helping you to figure things out. That made me feel a lot better!"

As he listened to what Allie was telling him, Nathan's heart warmed at the thought of Elizabeth helping Allie in her time of need. He also couldn't believe how right Elizabeth had been, when she encouraged Allie to give him space. For the first time in his life, Nathan finally felt like someone understood him. That realization made him appreciate Elizabeth even more.

"Mrs. Thornton sure is something, isn't she? I'm really glad that she was able to help you! Although, I'm sorry that I had to put you through that... Allie, there's no one I care about more than you, and it pains me to think that I wasn't there to help you get through it."

"It's ok, Uncle Nathan! You had a lot going on… And, I do know that you care about me more than anything else," Allie paused, before giving him a mischievous smile, "Well, except for maybe Mrs. Thornton. Oh, there's the fishing hole! Let's go catch some fish!"

With that comment, Allie took off running towards the fishing hole. Not knowing how to react, Nathan just stood there, scratching his head. That girl was like a tornado with her abrupt comments.

Nathan had known, for a while, that Allie was aware of his feelings for Elizabeth, but he hadn't realized just how much she had read between the lines, until now.

"This is sure to be an interesting fishing experience", Nathan thought to himself, as he considered what his next moves were going to be.

Tonight, he would talk to Elizabeth.

Beyond that, he wasn't sure… Only time would tell.

The day dragged on, as Elizabeth recalled all of the feelings that she had felt, when she finally saw Nathan. It had been like a blissful dream, where she was afraid to wake up. The way that their eyes met, and stayed fixated on each other, had made her feel like they were the only two people on the planet.

Elizabeth couldn't remember the last time she had felt so calm, so at peace. As soon as she saw him, coming towards the school, all of her fears and doubts disappeared. It was as if the struggles of the past few days had never happened. It felt like a fresh new start for them.

In fact, she had been so wrapped up in the moment, that it had inhibited her ability to speak properly. That's why the only thing that had come to her mind, in that moment, was "hi".

Although "Hi" may have been a simple greeting, it held a lot of weight for Elizabeth. Not only was it the first thing that she said to Nathan, since he got back, but it was also the very first word that she got to say to him, after she had thought that he had died. That one simple word gave her so much hope and possibility for the future. It represented her second chance with Nathan, and Elizabeth didn't want to take that blessing for granted.

Knowing that Nathan was planning to stop by, at some point, Elizabeth tried to distract herself by staying busy. She cleaned her house, mended some old clothes, graded some homework, and even prepared lessons, for the following week of school.

When none of those things seemed to keep her attention, Elizabeth remembered her journal. It had been almost a week since she had last written in there. Lately, she had been so focused on writing her book, and then sorting through her emotions, that she hadn't had the mental capacity to clearly express her feelings on paper.

However, as soon as she picked up her pen, Elizabeth found herself pouring out all of her feelings and emotions, from the last few days, in her journal. She couldn't remember the last time her words had flowed so smoothly off of her fingertips. It felt so good to finally express her feelings, in written form. She felt like she was engraving them in stone. Somehow, her feelings had always seemed be at their most real and vulnerable place, whenever she wrote them down. Even though she had already expressed them aloud, it wasn't until she saw them on the page, that it really hit her. Her feelings weren't just feelings anymore, but they were real. They represented her new reality, and she was ready to face them, honestly, without fear.

A knock sounded at her door, as Elizabeth finished cleaning her dirty dishes. She had just put little Jack down for the night, when she decided to focus her attention on the pile of dishes that she had left on the counter, after dinner.

Wiping her wet hands on a kitchen towel, Elizabeth dried her hands. Then turning to look at her reflection, in the kitchen window, she quickly fixed and smoothed out her hair.

As she headed towards the door, Elizabeth could feel her nerves kicking into high gear. Assuming that it must be Nathan, she mentally prepared herself for what she was going to say.

That afternoon, Elizabeth had written down some possibilities, as to what she might want to say to him. Although she hadn't known when he would be stopping by, she had a feeling that it would be sometime after dinner, and she wanted to be prepared.

Taking in a deep breath, and sending up a quick prayer for strength, Elizabeth slowly opened the door, to reveal a patient Nathan waiting on the other side.

As she opened her door wider, Elizabeth realized that he was dressed in his casual best, with his hair combed back.

"Nathan!" Elizabeth exclaimed, her eyes displaying her admiration.

"Elizabeth! I hope I'm not catching you at a bad time." His eyes showing mutual feelings of affection.

"No, at all. Please come in!"

"Thank you!"

As Nathan stepped into her living room, Elizabeth shut the door quietly behind him.

"Would you like to sit down?" Elizabeth motioned towards the couch.

Nodding his head in agreement, Nathan followed her to the couch.

Sitting down on opposite ends, they both looked around the room, in uncertainty, before meeting each other's gazes.

Then, as if they were perfectly in tune, they both asked in unison "How are you?"

Laughing and smiling nervously, at their mutual question, they looked shyly at each other.

"You first," Nathan offered.

"Thank you! It's been an eventful few days... but I'm doing well. How about you?" Elizabeth offered.

Acknowledging her answer, with a slight nod and a raise of his eyebrow, Nathan responded "I'm managing... after the past few days... Well, let's just say that it just feels good to be home."

Not wanting to push the subject too much, Elizabeth pondered her answer, before responding.

"I understand. There's something about the feeling home, which brings a sense of contentment and security. I'm sure it also helps to be back with Allie, as well!"

"It does!" Nathan looked at her, with a smile of contentment.

In that moment, Elizabeth knew that she had chosen the right words. As much as she may have wanted to offer more, Nathan didn't need her sympathy right now. He just needed her support and understanding. That smile had told her that she had accomplished just that. The time would come for her to say more, but that time wasn't now.

Taking a silent breath in, and then letting it out, Elizabeth ventured on.

"Nathan, do you remember that question you asked me in front of the jail, before you left to transport the prisoner?"

Looking up suddenly, Nathan searched her face with caution, "Yes... I remember."

"Well, I thought about it like you said, and after doing a lot of soul searching..." Elizabeth's voice trailed off for a moment, before gathering her courage "And, if your offer still stands... then my answer is yes."

Nathan looked at her with surprise, "Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Yes, Nathan it is! I would love to go dinner with you."

Suddenly, as if he was a kid on his birthday, Nathan's face lit up with joy and contentment.

"Elizabeth, you have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that! How does Saturday night sound?"

Giving him a smile, Elizabeth answered "Saturday night sounds great!"

Staring at each other with longing and promise, in their eyes, Nathan and Elizabeth sat there smiling at each other, for a few minutes.

Then breaking the silence, Nathan stood up.

"Well, I should probably get going now. It's late, and I know tomorrow's a school day."

"Alright," Elizabeth answered, as she stood up and faced him once again.

Neither one of them moving, they continued to search each other's eyes.

"Should I pick you up around seven?" Nathan asked.

"Yes, seven would be good!"

"Great!" Nathan responded.

"Great!" Elizabeth answered back.

Then walking towards the door, Nathan paused and turned around again.

"Thank you for saying yes, Elizabeth!"

"Thank you for asking me!"

Then opening the front door, Nathan nodded and gave her a sweet smile, that reached to his eyes.

"Good night, 'Lizabeth!"

Elizabeth had always loved it when he pronounced her name without the "E".

"Good night, Nathan!"

Elizabeth laid in bed, later that night, thinking about her conversion with Nathan. She couldn't believe how easily the truth had flowed off of her tongue.

Nathan was officially taking her out to dinner, and Elizabeth could hardly believe it. After nearly two years, of wondering what it might be like to go on a real date again, she was doing it. She had finally faced her fears and said "yes" to change.

Although Elizabeth realized that this wouldn't be the first time that she had gone out with a man, since Jack had died, this would be the first time where she could actually call it a "date". There would be no more hiding, from her feelings, anymore. From now on, she would be true to herself and with others.

As her thoughts shifted back to Nathan, Elizabeth smiled.

She kept thinking about how thoughtful he had been to allow her the time that she had needed to make a decision. Never once did he push her for an answer, or make her feel like she had to do something that she wasn't ready to do. Instead, he was patient and understanding of her situation.

Elizabeth also couldn't help but think about how Jack would have approved of Nathan. Even though she didn't want to compare the two of them, it was hard for her to not notice their similarities, in character. They were both men of great integrity and courage. Never having selfish intentions, they always put the needs of others before themselves.

While Jack had scarified his life, for the safety of others, Nathan had sacrificed his own time and happiness for the sake of his niece. All of those qualities were things that Elizabeth had greatly admired in each of them. It didn't matter to her if they were successful or had all the money in the world. The only thing that mattered to her was their hearts.

With that realization in mind, Elizabeth turned on her side and pulled the covers up to her neck. Then closing her eyes, she prayed.

In her prayer, she thanked God for all of His blessings, in her life. First, Elizabeth thanked Him for the short time that she had with Jack and all the lessons that she had learned from that experience. Next, she thanked him for her sweet son and the gift that he was in her life. Then, finally, she prayed for Nathan and asked God to guide them, as they begin to explore their feelings for one another.

Once her prayer was over, Elizabeth drifted off into a deep sleep, as peace filled her mind with ease.

Nathan was doing his rounds, on Friday afternoon, as images of last night's events played through his mind. He still couldn't believe that Elizabeth had actually accepted his invitation to dinner. Although he had a feeling that she'd most likely say "yes", especially after their shared embrace and lingering stares, but he hadn't counted on her answering him so soon.

When Elizabeth had asked him if they could talk yesterday, Nathan didn't have any time to process his response. Allie had been catching him up on everything that he had missed, and she had somehow persuaded him to take her fishing. That's when Nathan heard himself answer "I'll come by", to Elizabeth, as Allie lead him away. He still wasn't sure where those words had come from, or what had given him the confidence to say them. The only thing he knew was that Elizabeth's gaze and directness had somehow given him the boost he needed to show up at her door last night.

Thinking back on it, Nathan realized how easily their conversation had flowed. While he didn't think that he was ready to talk about the incident with her, he had been very much aware of the fact that she might want to bring it up. However, it had surprised him that they somehow managed to talk around it. It warmed his heart seeing that Elizabeth didn't push him for any details. Instead, she had simply listened to what he said and then tactfully provided her support and understanding, without offering anything more. Elizabeth understood what he needed, in the moment, and she gave it to him, without asking for anything in return. That fact made him like for her even more.

Just as Nathan arrived back at the jail, after his rounds, he ran into Bill.

"Hi, Nathan! How's everything going today?"

"Hi, Bill! Everything's going just fine, thanks! How are you?"

"I'm doing well! Say, have you been by to see Elizabeth yet? I've been meaning to check up on her, but I've just been so busy with everything, since we got back yesterday, that I haven't had the chance."

"Wow, Bill sure likes to cut to the case" Nathan thought to himself.

Giving Bill a knowing look, Nathan replied "Yes, I saw her at the school, when I went to pick up Allie. She asked me if we could talk, so I stopped by her house last night and we chatted."

Bill give him a surprised look, "How'd that go?"

He should have known that Bill would push him for more information.

"Well, you'll be happy to know that she accepted my dinner invitation. We're having dinner at the café, on Saturday night."

"Nathan, that's wonderful news! See? I knew she wouldn't turn you down. She just needed some time."

"Thanks, Bill! You were right, but where do we go from here? We still have so much to talk to about."

"While that is true, I wouldn't worry about it too much yet. For now, just focus on the fact that you two are finally having dinner together. The rest will work itself out."

"I know you're right... but it's hard to not think about the other stuff."

"I completely understand that, but you've already got past the first hurdle. She said "yes", so now you can relax and try to enjoy yourself a little bit."

"I'll try, Bill. It's not that easy though..."

"The best things in life never are."

"True," Nathan agreed, before continuing, "That reminds me, would you mind reserving a table for Elizabeth and I tomorrow night? I'm picking her up at seven."

"It would be my pleasure! Is there anything else you'd like me to help you with? I'd be happy to set up something nice for the two of you."

"Thank you, Bill! I appreciate it, but I'm not sure if I'd like to do anything else, just yet.

I've been thinking about how Elizabeth has probably had a lot of dinner, at the café, with Jack, and I don't want to do anything to distort or replace those memories for her. Although I still want our dinner to be nice and memorable, I don't want to do too much too soon. She's been through so much already, and the last thing I want to do is make her feel uncomfortable. So I think the best thing to do is to keep it simple,"

Bill gave him an approving look.

"That's very admirable, and I think Elizabeth will really appreciate you being sensitive to that. If memory serves me correctly, I do remember hearing that their first date was indeed at the cafe. I believe Jack rented out the place, so that they could have it all to themselves. I think he even had some her students help out with it."

That fact made Nathan's eyebrows raise. He had no idea that Jack had put so much thought into their first date. Knowing that little detail made Nathan all the more certain that he wanted to keep their date more simple.

"I had no idea! In that case, I think a simple table, maybe in the corner of the room, with a nice table cloth and candle would do."

"I think that can be arranged."

"Thank you, Bill!"

"Nathan, you don't have to thank me! I'm happy to do it! Elizabeth is like family to me. I'm just thankful that she has someone like you, who's sensitive to her situation. I don't have to worry about her, because she's safe with you!"

"Thank you for saying that, Bill! It means a lot!"

With Bill's words in mind, Nathan busied himself, by sorting through the paperwork on his desk.

He still had a lot do before he could start preparing for their date tomorrow night.

Elizabeth was on her way home from school, when Bill found her and stopped her in her tracks.

"Hi, Elizabeth! I was hoping I'd run into you. I've been meaning to check up on you, but things have been so busy, since I got back. May I walk you home?"

Elizabeth gave him a grateful smile.

"Hi, Bill! Yes, of course! I'd appreciate your company."

As Bill walked beside her, Elizabeth could sense that there was something that he wanted to say, but she decided that it would better to wait and let him share his thoughts, once he was ready.

It wasn't until they were outside of town, that Bill finally voiced his thoughts.

"Elizabeth, I know you're a strong woman, who can take care of herself, but it would be wrong for me to not at least check in with you and see how you're doing, after everything that happened with Nathan the other day. I know it's probably none of my business, but Jack was like a son to me, and I can't stand to just sit by, watching his wife go something like that alone."

Elizabeth stopped mid-step and let the painful truth of his words sink into her mind.

As a small tear began to form in the corner of her eye, Elizabeth let her guard down.

"Oh, Bill, you have no idea how much I needed to hear you say that. It's been so hard!"

Just then Bill wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug.

"I know. I know. Just let it out."

Taking a few seconds to gain her composure, Elizabeth allowed herself to feel comforted by Bill's fatherly embrace. She knew that he empathized with her in a big way. Not only had she almost lost another man, that she cared deeply about, but Bill had also almost lost another person that he worked closely with. He was there when it happened and had witnessed the whole thing, first hand. Elizabeth couldn't imagine what that must have been like for him.

However, it wasn't until he had mentioned Jack being like a son to him, that she allowed herself to once again feel that pain.

It touched her heart knowing how deeply Bill had cared for her husband, and it comforted her seeing how that care now transferred over to her and her son. Bill understood her pain, and he didn't want her to face it alone.

As Bill released her, Elizabeth took in a deep breath and spoke honestly.

"I just never thought that I could feel this way again… Bill, I don't know what I would have done if..." her voice trailed off for a moment. "I can't even go there."

Looking at her with sympathy, Bill asked "Did it make you think of Jack?"

Elizabeth looked down for moment, before replying.

"Yes and no. While it did remind me of the pain that I felt, after losing Jack, my reaction had nothing to do with him."

At that confession, Bill gave her a look of understanding and approval.

"You're starting to have deep feelings for Nathan, aren't you?"

"How did you know?" Elizabeth asked him, with confusion in her eyes.

Giving her a serious expression, Bill responded.

"I'm a judge. It's my job to look at a situation and make reasonable judgments, based on the facts. And from what I've seen, you and Nathan have had your eyes on each other for some time now. It gives me peace of mind knowing that you're both acknowledging those feelings and finally doing something about them."

"What do you mean?" Elizabeth asked him.

"I know about your dinner with him tomorrow night. And before you go asking me how I know about that, it's important to remember that I work with Nathan. He's a good man, Elizabeth, and it makes me happy knowing that you're going to dinner with a man I can trust."

As soon as she heard him say "trust", Elizabeth knew that he was referring to her trip to Union City, with Lucas.

"Bill, you know that trip didn't mean anything. I told Lucas that we're just friends."

"I know... Lucas isn't all bad, and he does have some good qualities. I just feel better about you spending your time with Nathan. He's more trustworthy, and I don't have to question his intentions."

Elizabeth give him a skeptical look.

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth! As I said before, you don't have to explain your decisions to me. I'm just happy that you finally decided to give Nathan a chance."

"Thank you, Bill! I appreciate that."

Bill nodded his head.

"You know your own heart, and I trust that it will lead to you to whoever is right for you."

With that comment, Elizabeth continued walking back to her row house, with Bill. She knew that he was just looking out for her, and that he had her best interests in mind.

It wasn't that Elizabeth didn't understand Bill's distrust of Lucas, after all she had even found herself, at times, finding it hard to trust his intentions, but it still made her feel guilty for the way that she had handled her interactions with him.

That's when Elizabeth realized that she still needed to forgive herself for the way that she had handled the whole situation. Although she didn't do it on purpose, she was aware that she could have been more upfront with Lucas, from the start.

"God, please forgive me for everything I've done wrong, regarding this situation. I don't want to hold onto this guilt or pain that I feel anymore. Please help learn to forgive myself and help me to move forward with Your help."

As she prayed, Elizabeth felt the weight of her feelings wash away. She could feel the presence of the Lord with her and she knew that she no longer needed to feel guilty for what had happened.

She was forgiven, and it was because if that forgiveness that she could finally allow herself to let it go.