AUTHOR'S NOTES:
- ANSWERING A COMMENT: I did consider putting Bonnie's letter in the story, but I thought it might be better to leave it as mystery. Damon never got to read it, so I wanted the reader to feel that loss as well. It would be super fun to write, I do have some thoughts on what the letter would say but unfortunately it will remain unsaid!
- Also, thank you to everyone who's been commenting! I love to hear what you guys have to say about the story and TVD in general!
- Will be covering early labour in this chapter, never experienced it so it may not be the best description and could be inaccurate!
PLAYLIST:
- Falling, cover by Little Mix (Bonnie's present POV)
- Your Song, cover by Taron Egerton (Bonnie's flashback)
- Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran (Damon's present POV)
- Habits (Stay High) by Tove Lo (Damon's flashback)
Disclaimer: I do not own the Vampire Diairies or the characters.
Bonnie tugs on her bikini strap a little, stealing another glance at herself in the mirror before helping Lila take off her shirt. They're at the Mystic Falls swimming pool for the day, getting ready to go outside and Bonnie can't help but continually glance at herself in the mirror. She's feeling a little self-conscious, she hasn't had many opportunities to wear bikinis after giving birth to Lila, even after all these years it still feels a little nerve wracking to go out like this. Especially now that her and Damon are dating, it feels like another set of nerves have been added to her system.
It turns out that dating in secret while both of you are living with your dad is pretty difficult, especially when Damon seems intent on distracting her; thank god there was only a week and a half until they would go to Atlanta, and Bonnie wouldn't have to hide them anymore. She's convinced that Aunt Emily isn't going to let her shut the door completely when they're both in the same bedroom, but that's something she can live with.
"Are you ready to swim, baby?" Bonnie asks Lila, squeezing her daughter's hand excitedly.
"Yes, Mommy!" Lila hops around enthusiastically, and Bonnie grabs her bag, leading Lila out of the women's change rooms and back outside to the pool. The harsh glare of the sun causes her to squint, looking around for Damon; it's a weekday, so there's not as many people around and the summer camps always reserve the pool, so there should be more room for Lila to swim around.
"Hey," Damon's voice says from behind her, kissing her cheek quickly and grabs Lila's other hand with a sly smirk.
"Hey," Bonnie gives him a smile, trying not to stare at his still-toned body. The unfairness of him still looking so good is not lost on her. She approaches a chair, setting her bag down and he stuffs his ball of clothes on top. They kick off their shoes, approaching the water; Bonnie bends down, hopping into the water and Damon follows. She turns back to Lila who's still at the edge, holding out her arms. "Jump in, Mommy will catch you."
Lila jumps off the ledge happily, beaming and Bonnie catches her just as she reaches the water. She's wearing a life jacket to support her, but Bonnie can't help but hold her; she tucks her hands under Lila's arms, slowly moving her around the water.
"Hey, I can take her," Damon says, grabbing Lila gently from Bonnie. "I've been thinking, we need to plan out a first date."
"A first date?"
"Yeah, you know, where two people go out and get dinner or something, generally to get to know each other-"
"Hilarious. What did you have in mind? Is some fancy Italian dinner even a good idea?"
"Italian is always good," Damon smirks, and she can't help but laugh. "A first date doesn't necessarily mean we go all out. We should do it when we're in Atlanta, which you know better than me so technically you should be coming up with the plans."
"Oh, really," Bonnie laughs, following him to the pool steps so Lila can stand properly in the water, "Why not Mystic Falls?"
"Oh, yeah, because this place has so many options. If we go to the Grille, we risk having Donovan be our waiter and Stefan or any of your friends could walk in, start interrogating us for the next half hour. Hard pass, Bon Bon."
"I can't say I've missed that old nickname," she watches him set Lila down on a pool step, letting her walk around a little; he sidles up next to Bonnie, turning towards her and slides a hand around her waist.
"I think I've earned it," he remarks slyly, kissing her smiling lips. They're taking it slow, but it's so crazy how comfortable this is, how easy the intimacy of it all feels. Sometimes her happiness feels so overwhelming, like it's threatening to spill out and explode everywhere, it almost gets her all choked up. She wraps her arms around his neck, breaking the kiss to keep an eye on Lila and presses her cheek against his.
"Hmm, I mean, Atlanta has a lot of options for stuff to do."
"You can be like my little tour guide."
"That's not a terrible idea, actually."
"I know it isn't, that's why I suggested. Someone needs to help me navigate the city, and who better than the lovely mother of my child?"
"Were you normally this sappy when we dated before?" Bonnie counters, her cheeks feeling a little hot even though she's in the cool pool water. "I was thinking that could be our date. Let me be your tour guide, I can show you the city. I know some really good food places, we could go to a nice park or something without draining a ton of money for some overpriced pasta."
"Not bad, Bon Bon," Damon picks up Lila, giving her a piggyback. "I'll see you in about two or three weeks for that first date."
"Okay, see you then," Bonnie teases, swimming away with a laugh and lets Damon and Lila chase after her.
JUNE 2010
"Hey Bonnie...what are you doing?" Lucy crossed her arms, eyeing Bonnie with amusement.
"She was hungry...she wanted some strawberry cheesecake ice cream," Bonne replied from a mouthful of ice cream, pointing her spoon at her huge belly. Only a couple more days until the baby pops out, and then she could finally stop waddling around, feeling as big as a house. Of course, then the real work would begin and Bonnie would become a mother. Sometimes she'd repeat the words in her head, saying the words out loud at times just to hear what it sounded like. It hadn't quite set in that she was going to have a baby, it still felt like a dream or hallucination of some kind.
"So she just wanted ice cream right before bed?"
"Lucy, pregnancy really does a number on you. I can't deny my baby the excellence that is ice cream."
"I wonder how you'll be able to resist that little girl once she pops out," Lucy teased, and Bonnie's dad walked into the room, sighing heavily at the sight of Bonnie eating ice cream right out of the tub.
"She was hungry!" Bonnie explained defensively, shoving another scoop in her mouth and Lucy was clearly stifling her amusement at the look on Bonnie's dad's face.
"I just came to say goodnight," he held his hands up in surrender, trying not to look too disapproving. He came up to Bonnie, dropping a kiss on her head. "You let me know right away if you feel any contractions, okay?"
"I know where to find you, Dad," Bonnie smiled, watching him walk out of the kitchen and upstairs to the guest room.
"I should go now, I still have work tomorrow. Sleep well, cuz," Lucy said, rising from the table and gave Bonnie a peck on the cheek. "Only three more days-"
"-Until I stop looking like a whale," Bonnie finished, grinning.
"Girl, don't even! Your boobs look amazing, come on. I might as well go get myself pregnant...it's too bad men do nothing for me," Lucy lamented dramatically, and Bonnie laughed.
"Plastic surgery is always an option."
"Very true," Lucy smiled. "Goodnight, let me know if the baby decides to come out."
Bonne chuckled, "Noted. Goodnight, have a good day at work tomorrow. Drive safe."
Bonnie continued eating her ice cream happily underneath the dim lights of the kitchen, and listened to the nearby sounds of the city. It was only getting warmer and warmer in Atlanta, which was making her giant belly feel even more unbearable. She felt hot all the time, and she would always waddle around like a duck, it felt like she was rediscovering how to move around. She was really happy her dad was here though, he'd been really great with helping out and figuring out her birth plan. That part was a little nerve wracking though, Aunt Emily couldn't even remember giving birth to Lucy and all her friends were, obviously, childless. It did make her wish that her mom was around, that she could ask her these questions but most of all she missed her Grams. While it hadn't been the plan to have a baby this early, she wished that Grams could've been alive to hear the news, or to give her some advice. It would've been nice to have her be there for all the doctor's appointments, to feel the baby kick or help her pick out the baby clothes. She missed her almost as much as she missed Damon. A bout of pain rushed through her, lingering on her lower back and her face scrunched up in pain; she clutched her back, shutting her eyes and waited for the pain to subside.
Once it did, she looked at the clock quickly; that had lasted almost a minute. Was it a contraction? She'd read in her baby books that they would last longer than 30 seconds, and it had definitely been that long. She glanced at her hands, noticing they were shaking and she gulped; she put away the ice cream quickly, and slowly walked up the stairs. It wasn't Braxton-Hicks, it had definitely hurt and a due date wasn't 100% set. If she was in early labour, the contractions would be far apart. She knocked on her dad's door quietly, peeking inside to see him typing away on his laptop.
"What is it, sweetheart?" he asked distractedly, still staring at his laptop.
"Um...I think I had a contraction," she replied quietly, and his head immediately snapped up to meet her eyes, looking slightly panicked. "It definitely hurt, and it lasted for awhile…"
"Oh! Oh, okay, okay, we need to move. Um, I think, I think we should...go grab your overnight bag. Wait, no, you need to rest and not move. EMILY!" her dad suddenly yelled, jumping out of bed and running past Bonnie. "EMILY, SHE'S IN LABOUR!"
Bonnie watched for the next ten minutes, bewildered at her dad's barely concealed hysterics and Aunt Emily running around the house, magically forgetting something each time she thought she was packed. Bonnie tried to pick up her bag or help her dad, but she was quickly overtaken by a number of protests and demands to stay put. They finally stepped out the door, walking down the driveway to her dad's car when she felt another contraction.
"Stop...contraction…" Bonnie sucked in a sharp breath, squeezing her dad's hand tightly. It felt like period cramps, but the feeling was starting to shift and become more intense. She waited, trying to pace her breathing and Aunt Emily rubbed her back softly. "Okay...okay, I'm good now."
"That was forty seconds, contractions seem to be thirteen minutes apart," her dad said, staring at his watch. "Okay, okay, let's move! We need to get to the hospital!"
Bonnie moved slowly to the car, her dad and Aunt Emily hovering over her nervously; the reality was starting to sink in. She was really going to be a mom.
PRESENT DAY: 2013
"This is me, you and daddy!" Lila points at her drawing, and Bonnie smiles. They all look like a bunch of odd-coloured blobs, but obviously she's not about to say it out loud.
"That looks wonderful, baby. Thank you," Bonnie kisses the top of Lila's head, moving her slightly on her lap and then places her hand back on Damon's knee, letting him intertwine their fingers again. They exchange covert smiles, like they're sharing a secret when Bonnie feels someone approach their table.
"Hey guys," Tyler says tentatively, his eyes flickering between them and Bonnie gives him a smile.
"Hi Tyler, are you grabbing dinner too?" Bonnie asks politely, still holding onto Damon's hand and she glances at him, noticing he appears to be somewhat civil.
"Yeah, just getting takeout for me and Care. Is this Lila?" Tyler smiles kindly at Lila, and Bonnie can feel Lila try to clutch onto her arm.
"Yeah, this is. Lila, this is my friend, Tyler. He's also very close with Auntie Care," Bonnie explains to Lila. Lila waves nervously at Tyler, and Bonnie laughs slightly. "She's just a little shy."
"Don't worry about it. So, when do you guys leave?"
"We have a week and a half left, then we're going back to Atlanta. We're going to stay with my aunt, that's where I lived before and there's plenty of room for us."
"That's good. You know, I think Caroline was thinking of holding a goodbye dinner for you guys here."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, I think she texted you about it."
"Oh, right!" Bonnie nods her head, trying not to appear guilty. She's been dodging Caroline's texts and calls, most of them being about her and Damon which she's not sure if she should answer honestly. "We'll definitely set something up."
"I'll let her know. I better go get my food, see you."
"Bye Tyler, nice talking to you."
"See you later," Damon says curtly, and Tyler waves before walking off.
"You know, we're going to have to tell people about us at some point," Bonnie remarks, noticing Lila hiding a yawn behind her hand.
"I know. I was thinking that you could deal with your dad, get that out of the way and I'll tell the others, gather them in a room and tell them, like a press conference," Damon smirks, and Bonnie rolls her eyes with a smile.
"Wow, you left me with the one who'll react the worst."
"Hey, he's your dad! If I tell him, I'll be burned alive. He'll find some way to roast me, I know it. You at least have a chance of escaping alive after that conversation."
"Yeah, yeah, and when do you think we should tell everyone we're dating? Because I already told Caroline that we kissed AND that I wanted to be with you, I've been dodging her questions but the cat's going to come out of the bag."
"You told her you wanted to be with me?" Damon inquires, his eyes shining softly and she can feel heat creeping up to her cheeks.
"Well, she is my best friend," Bonnie replies in a casual tone, but she knows that her cheeks are flushed and the way that he's looking at her is not helping to dull the heat. "Besides, we should be focused on when to tell them."
"It's not high school anymore, we can tell them when the time is right. It's not a big deal, we'll be in Atlanta so they can't bother us as much."
"Good point," Lila wiggles around in Bonnie's lap, laying her head on Bonnie's chest and her eyes are drooping slightly. "Maybe we should go now, I think someone's tired."
They get up from the table, releasing their intertwined hands and Bonnie tucks a hand around Lila's thighs, letting her daughter rest on her shoulder. It's not until they leave the restaurant that they finally do hold hands again, walking to her car when Damon freezes, his body tensing up and his hands feel like they belong to a statue. Bonnie frowns, turning to face him slightly and squeezes his hand gently.
"You okay?" she asks quietly, looking up at him and following his gaze to a man across the street, who's walking to his car. She squints a little, realizing that it's Damon's father, Giuseppe; as if sensing their presence, he looks up and across the street right at them with a steely poker face, but Bonnie can tell he recognizes her and Damon. "Did you want to go over?"
Her question seems to snap Damon out of his trance, and he shakes his head, finally looking at her. "No. I don't want to go anywhere near that jackass. Let's just go, I won't give him the satisfaction of getting to me."
Bonnie turns her head slightly to check if Lila was still resting on her shoulder, and then looks back up at Damon. "Fine. I could use a little satisfaction, though."
She moves to stare directly at Giuseppe, releasing her hand from Damon's and slowly lifts up her middle finger to flip him off with a cold expression. Damon lets out a startled laugh, and quickly kisses the corner of her mouth. She feels Lila's head lift off her shoulder, probably curious about why Damon is laughing and quickly puts down her hand. She turns to face Damon, not bothering to see Giuseppe's reaction; she's ready to move on from his father's meddling, and focus on the people who actually care about them.
She holds Damon's hand again, smiling at the gleeful look on his face and leans against his shoulder slightly. "Now I'm ready to go."
"Okay, we're not playing this anymore," Damon snaps, setting the Connect 4 grid back into the box roughly and Bonnie laughs delightedly.
"Sore loser," she teases, and he tackles her; they fall back onto her bed, Bonnie on her back with a smile and Damon is on his stomach with his arm around her waist.
"You clearly had some weird strategy going on...you're not a witch, right?"
"Not a witch, just an excellent Connect 4 player. You need to get on my level, Salvatore."
They lie there in comfortable silence for a few minutes, Damon rubbing the side of her torso and she's lightly stroking his hair. Bonnie's dad is staying at a hotel a few hours away for work, something about a conference but it just means more time for them. Lila has already been put to bed a couple hours ago, and they've just been hanging out in Bonnie's bedroom ever since.
"Can I ask you something kind of comfortable? I'm just curious, I don't wanna cuss you out or start a dumb fight," Bonnie murmurs, and Damon glances at her.
"Okay."
"How many girls did you date? After me, I mean."
"Ah, well, what exactly do you define as dating? Because I've had many encounters with the female body."
To his surprise, Bonnie actually laughs a little. "I forgot about your track record...okay, how many girls were you with where it lasted more than a month. That's pretty reasonable, I think."
"Erm...there were a few, but it never went longer than a month and a half. Once a month swung around, they normally got cut off, but it was never really that serious anyway. Did you date anyone after Lila?"
"I went on a few dates, but things died out pretty quickly. I was upfront about Lila, that didn't help and probably scared some of them with that. I just never felt like the connection was strong, and she was my first priority. At the end of the day, it was about Lila. I don't blame them for backing out, dealing with a kid when you're only starting out is weird. Plus, I couldn't go out to party every weekend and I wouldn't drink, because I'd be breastfeeding."
"Not everyone can handle it, I suppose," Damon comments smugly.
"I would've expected a stronger reaction from you, you're not afraid of some competition from Georgia?" Bonnie teases.
"Who cares? From what it sounds like, most guys in Atlanta are morons and I have the upper hand."
"That's true...you know, Lila used to be a biter," Bonnie says, and he cackles. "Of course you'd find it funny. The other parents weren't pleased, I had to have many uncomfortable conversations. It didn't help either that I looked so young, I had a good amount of back-handed comments."
"I will gladly deal with those parents once we go back. Did she ever bite you?"
"No...maybe once when I was breastfeeding, but she quickly realized that it hurt me and never tried it again."
"Well then, all I'm hearing is that our daughter knows how to defend herself."
"You're evil, you know that?"
"Maybe, but you want to be with me so evil is your thing," he smirks, kissing her jaw and she smiles, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.
"Mmm, now that I think about it, maybe I do have a type. It's hot guys with dark hair, blue eyes, charming smirks and have a tendency to be evil in some way."
"Please tell me you're not also talking about that asswipe Kai Parker."
"I did say that I have a type," she laughs, turning on her side to face Damon properly and places a hand on his cheek. "Don't worry though, you're not too evil. And you're an excellent father."
"Okay judgey, thank you for the seal of approval," he replies mockingly, but he's acutely aware that there's a smile on his face that he can't seem to suppress.
JUNE 2010
"What the fuck did you just say?" the girl growled, her light green eyes burning with anger and he scoffed, holding his drink carelessly.
"What do you mean?" Damon slurred, his eyes feeling heavy and the girl huffed loudly.
"You clearly said another girl's name while you were kissing me. My fucking name is Pauline," she snarled, her face contorted in indignation and he shook his head clumsily.
"I said that."
"No, you didn't! You said the name Bonnie!"
He tensed, gripping his drink tightly and he gave her a dark look. "No, I didn't say that name."
"You fucking liar, I heard you, you said Bonnie! What the fuck is your deal, asshole?"
"Fuck off," he retorted hotly, storming away from her and back to his small table in the corner of the bar, where Stefan was watching, looking slightly peeved.
"You dragged me all the way out to this weird ass bar, just so you can go make out with some girl and get in a fight? I had plans with Elena, you know," Stefan remarked, and Damon rolled his eyes, sitting down in his seat.
"To do what? Play checkers and do some gardening, like the old people you are? This is much more fun...except for your lame attitude."
"Someone has to be sober to drive us home, Damon."
"God, you'd think that Tommy would be a lot more fun," Damon spilled a little of his drink, laughing drunkenly. "Whoopsies."
"Okay, now seems like a good time to actually use my sober card to drive us home. Let's go, Damon."
"No, I'm staying here. Party's not over yet."
"You're clearly drunk, you look like you're about to fall over. Come on, let's go home."
"No, I'm not going!"
"Damon, I said let's go-"
"GO HOME TO WHAT, STEFAN?!" Damon roared, standing up from his seat quickly. "YES, LET'S GO HOME TO OUR DEADBEAT FATHER, SO YOU CAN BE WITH YOUR PRECIOUS ELENA AND DAMON CAN GO FUCK OFF TO GOD KNOWS WHERE! IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE EVER WONDERS WHAT HAPPENS TO HIM, RIGHT?!"
Damon breathed hotly, trying to pace himself again and Stefan stared at him, keeping his face blank. "Okay."
"Okay, what?" Damon spat out.
"We can stay. Do you wanna throw darts, maybe?" Stefan asked lightly, rising from his seat. Damon eyed him for a moment, trying to discern his expression but Stefan just watched him, unblinking with no sign of pity in his eyes.
"Sure, let's do it."
PRESENT DAY: 2013
Stefan holds up the quarter with a grin, and Lila gasps, clapping enthusiastically. Damon tries not to roll his eyes, instead noticing Caroline staring at Stefan with raised eyebrows.
"Where did you learn to do all these magic tricks?" Caroline asks Stefan, crossing her arms and Stefan looks a little embarrassed now, scratching his head nervously.
"He learned it at magic camp," Damon chimes in, smirking at a glaring Stefan and Caroline cups her hands over her mouth, trying not to look too delighted at this revelation.
"You went to magic camp?" she giggles.
"It was overnight too," Damon continues, "Gone for the whole summer, came back with all these card gimmicks and would put on whole shows for us. He was eleven or twelve, maybe."
"Wow. How did I not know this?!"
"I tend to keep that information to myself," Stefan replies, staring pointedly at Damon.
"I like to think it's his secret life's ambition," Damon adds.
"What does that mean, Daddy?" Lila asks, turning to look at Damon.
"It means that Uncle Stefan secretly wants to be a magician, baby."
"Oh! When I'm older, I'm gonna be a dolphin," Lila declares proudly.
"You can be whatever you want to be," Damon tells her solemnly. "Maybe you could be part of Uncle Stefan's magic show."
"When I was your age, apparently I wanted to be a fairy princess," Caroline pokes Lila, smiling kindly. "But I think a dolphin is just as cool."
"Me and Tyler lost," Elena says glumly, joining the conversation and leans against Stefan. "Matt comes here for work, so of course he has the upper hand."
"Of course," Stefan nods his head solemnly, and Damon can see Caroline is hiding a smile. Everyone knows Elena kind of sucks at pool.
"You just need more practice, Gilbert. Keep working on your game," Bonnie joins their little group as well, standing next to Caroline with a smile. They've agreed to keep their distance a little for their going-away party, just to make things a little less suspicious. It's not a big deal, but it would be nice to keep their relationship a secret until they've lasted at least a month.
"How about you and me go head to head, Damon. One last game for old time's sake," Stefan offers, smiling.
"Sure, why not," Damon shrugs.
"I can take Lila," Bonnie says, stepping forward and holding out her hands. Damon hands Lila over, locking eyes with Bonnie. For a second, he's only focused on her smile reserved for him and the radiant look on her face, until he gets the sense that he's being watched. He looks around subtly, but Stefan is just taking a sip of his drink and Elena is showing Caroline something on her phone.
"Okay, you ready to play, Stef?"
Damon and Stefan start setting up the pool table, grabbing the balls out of the pockets and rubbing chalk on the top of the cue sticks. Matt and Tyler have started throwing darts, and the girls are all gathered around the table, chatting animatedly.
"Do you wanna start off? I'll be solids," Stefan asks, and Damon nods. He bends down, lining up the shot and hits the white ball, sending all the others around the table. Damon gestures to Stefan, who in turn starts searching for a good shot. "I know you're right about Father. I know I should leave."
"So, are you going to?" Damon watches Stefan miss his shot, and lines up to take his place.
"I've been thinking about it, trying to decide when would be a good time. He already put you through school and he basically paid for everything, so once I graduate, I think that's when I'll leave. Just one more year, then I'll slowly start taking my things out. Since Jeremy is in residence, I could stay in his room, Elena's parents are apparently more than happy to have me."
Damon makes his shot, moving around to go again. "That's good, Stef. Squeeze out the old man's funds for school, then ditch him. Smart move. Be careful when you do though, if he notices you leaving, he'll be pissed. I don't want to hear that your face is black and blue."
Damon misses his shot, sighing and Stefan finally takes his turn at the pool table, lining up his stick to the white ball. "I'll get Elena and Matt to help me, and he hardly goes into my room, he won't notice. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I'm just glad that you've given me the push to leave."
"Uh, how did I do that?" Stefan gets a ball in but misses the shot after that, and Damon takes over.
"If you could do it, then so can I," Stefan smiles. "Thank you, brother."
"Yeah, no need to get all sentimental," Damon says dismissively, getting another ball in the pocket of the pool table.
"I'm going to miss you, Damon," Stefan presses further, and Damon exhales loudly, looking up at the ceiling.
"I'm going to miss you too."
"Hmm? What was that you said? I didn't catch that."
"I said, I'm going to miss you too," Damon repeats, ignoring Stefan's triumphant gaze when he notices Bonnie has gone to the washroom. "I need a bathroom break, you take your turn and I'll be right back."
Damon leaves his pool stick on the edge of the pool table, walking in the same direction as Bonnie and turns down the hallway to the washrooms, surprised at seeing a smug Bonnie. He walks towards her cautiously, and she takes a few steps forward, leaning sideways against the wall.
"I knew you would follow me," she teases, pressing her fingers between the collar of his shirt and against his skin.
"What happened to staying under the radar?" he asks playfully, placing his hand on her cheek and she leans into his touch, smiling at him mischievously.
"I just wanted to steal away two minutes with you, that's all," she says innocently with wide eyes, and he chuckles.
"I guess we better use that time to our advantage, then," he leans in to kiss her, feeling her giggle a little against his lips before kissing him back. Her mouth is so warm against his, tasting faintly like coca cola and he grabs her ass, pulling her closer towards him.
"Wow...that looks like one hell of a kiss, Damon."
A/N: Who just caught Damon and Bonnie?
Thanks for reading, feel free to leave a comment!