My Dearest, Kagome
I visited your grave today.
I am writing to you as I sit beside your headstone.
I dug my fingers into the soft, moist soil as if it would somehow reconnect me with you. As if by some miracle you would reach out to me.
As if by some miracle you would reach out to me, and with cold fingers grip my hand like you would always do.
I was inspired by the sign you sent me to come see you again, although I hadn't been here in quite some time. I hadn't been here since your burial and quite frankly I didn't want to come back. Coming here brings back memories that I'd prefer to never remember again...like when I broke down and cried at your casket. How Sesshomaru had to hold me up to prevent me from collapsing on my knees.
I didn't bring our daughter.
She's still...processing her feelings.
She cries at night, and misses you dearly, and I do as well. I'm trying to be patient with her, as I would like (and hope) people to be patient with me during this. I've never been a particularly patient person. I find myself at times getting frustrated with our daughter.
And then I hate myself.
Because I recognize that I kept your passing from her for a year before I worked up the courage to tell her.
I broke her...and because of that I have no right to be upset with her. I never had a right to anyways.
Work has been cumbersome as of late. It's partly (read: all of) my fault, I still struggle focusing on my work since you were ripped away from me. I say ripped away because that's exactly what you were; you were ripped away from me.
You were shot dead and left to bleed on the floor of the arts and science department floor. I don't call that passing away, I call that murder. I call that being ripped away from your life.
Our life.
I'm not sure how many more times I can say I miss and love you but…I miss you, and I love you.
I always will love you.
Forever Yours, Inuyasha.