Eternal Summer

by missgryffin

James Potter just spent his sixth year trying to get over Lily Evans while, unbeknownst to him, Lily Evans just spent her sixth year trying not to fancy James Potter. Now, they just had a drunken near-kiss that neither one remembers, they've been named Head Boy and Girl, and they're both wondering how they'll survive their final year at Hogwarts in each others' presence.

10. Go Old School

A/N: LOVED reading all your responses to Chapter 9. These replies got a little long (you guys are the best), so I wanted to mention that I clarify Lily's boy history at the end (just before the chapter starts), in case you usually skip the replies but are interested in hearing some head canon and clarification on that!

On tumblr at: missgryffin

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balletgirl: Thank you! Knowing this evokes actual laughter is so fun to hear! banrayar: They're learning how to fight! I feel like a proud character parent, hah. And I'm glad you were into James's sass immediately after our back-and-forth about his maturity, because I did worry whether it was a little too much. It's a fine line to balance because I think his confidence/arrogance (really the same thing, depending on how he uses it) is such a core personality trait for him, and that perhaps its his spitefulness (i.e., yanking Snape into the air for fun) that he has learned to control. I also see a difference between him being desperate for attention when he was younger, and then now having reached a point where he just has the attention and he owns it/is used to it. He's definitely not afraid to speak his mind / defend his friends / go after what he wants! Also, I apparently love to psychoanalyze these characters and have turned James into my vehicle to get some of this rumination into the story, lol. And eeekkk I am so excited for the commencement of the wooing! chaserspirit: Ah so glad you mentioned the politics! I feel like I am still just sprinkling little nuggets right now but I am excited for some future ~intrigue~ And James is such a melt at heart, I'm so excited for more melty James! Josie: I am laughing so hard. This is incredible, I also love/am v proud of the lines you picked out! Can I also just say it's cracking me up over here that no one seems to be batting an eye over their first time (I think I expected a lot of surprise over it? Like the fact that it even happened, or that it happened how it did?), which is understandable considering the turn things took at the dinner party, but I appreciated you saying it was sweet because Lily has had such a crappy sexual history that I wanted to give her a "first time" with someone that was romantic almost to the point of being cheesy before we could get into other hot-and-bothered Jily scenarios. ALSO ALSO thank you for saying Dolohov is cool even though we hate him! I wasn't sure if these vibes were coming across yet. To me, Snape is like the scrawny, slimy enemy that is easy to hate and does not have any redeemable qualities yet (I think Snape gets those later in his life), whereas Dolohov is more of James's even-matched enemy. Him and Drucilla are so fun to write. TiffanyToms: Yes to the sexual violence conversation being important! It's so sad that it is inevitably part of so many girls' high school/college experience, and I don't think Hogwarts would be any different. She did not lose it to Dolohov! I will address this in a comment below since this is getting more attention than I expected :) The hair tuck parallel! My heart is swelling in happiness. And I honestly want to steal Sexual Tension Slug Club because that is awesome, haha! rmmurphy: YAASS to Lily being smart enough to let people underestimate her when it serves her so that she can eviscerate :) I could not have summarized that better! thefourthmarauder: OMG "how they both understand that this won't be a normal relationship if they ever get to it" = YES YES YES! I have not said this yet because I don't think either of them can articulate that to themselves, but we know that deep deep down they feel that! That tension is my favorite part of writing this phase of their relationship. Shaniso: I'm glad you liked how I did their first time! I wanted it to come as a surprise (even to them) and not be something that was built up because I wanted both of them to be able to go into it without expectation (especially Lily, who is quite the over-thinker). Nina: Eh, I have mixed feelings about Garrytt too, to be honest. He's edgier than Edgar and pompous in a way that makes it hard for him and James to get along, but he also does have good intentions and looks out for Lily's well-being overall (as we saw from him walking her back to GT after dark). And I KNOW I felt so bad about Edgar! Although he is very literal and adorably oblivious when it comes to sex, so maybe he didn't pick up on it and it didn't bother him?! herewengoagain: Ah thank you! Their dynamic is so fun to write, there's just so many layers to them, and I'm so happy that's coming across! Re: Garrytt…hehe Lunane: I love you. This was INCREDIBLE. I seriously wish I could have like a live chat with you guys as you're reading, ahah! I'm so glad you loved the Head Office scene — this was one of my favorite sequences that I've written thus far because there's so much raw emotion going on between these two that they're scared to say so they're sort of just shaking and blurting it out. And for once, even they sort of row, I think it's Lily's headspace that makes all the difference, because she's not actually out to row just to row anymore, she actually is caring about how he feels. Also, J. Ugh. We'll be seeing a lot more of that letter ;) Sorry not sorry to have put you on a journey through laughter, dagger-in-the-heart pain, to shivering in anticipation, back to laughter, but I hope the dinner made up for all that ;) ;) Clara: Agreed completely! I think James is skewing toward jealousy right now because he is still in the chasing-the-girl phase and he was so hurt over knowing Lily had accepted a date with someone else after they had started getting flirty. He just needs a lil reassurance from Lily, and we'll get there :) Paia1240: OMG two days?! And bahaha at the work thing, believe me I can relate. And thank you! Comments on my writing always make my day because it's something I really love. This is not my first time writing *ever* (I was an English major and have done a decent amount of creating writing throughout my life), but it is a return after a writing hiatus (believe me - first drafts of some of these scenes from a few months ago were *rough*), and it is also my first time taking a story of this magnitude seriously enough to really sit with it, revise it, and share it! JUNE! *waves frantically* JUNE! (MAKING THIS BOLDED LINE EXTRA LONG SO YOU SEE IT ALKSJGJLGKJWFJF): OMG GET OUT (not literally, please please stay, ilysm) YOU PICKED UP ON THAT?! I am BESIDE MYSELF right now. I *love* that song, it SCREAMS Jily to me, and T-Swift's Lover album makes up at least half of my personal Eternal Summer soundtrack. (I fully admit that T-Swift songs have hugely informed the vibe I imagine for Jily, hah - Sparks Fly is basically Lily realizing she's into James when she doesn't want to be.). You have taken so many thoughts straight out of my head and I could not have put all of that down better and I am just a babbling mess right now over the fact that someone else picked up on ALL of that / read my mind and I'm so glad you're reading :) Thank you x100000 for taking the time to leave this, seriously has made my day/week/2021. Guest (who wrote about the tropes): OMG you do NOT need to apologize! I promise I was not ever offended by your comments! We all have different ideas of where the boundaries of tropes fall, and that is perfectly okay! I'll address this below because I don't have plans to work it into the story much more and since it seems like it is a common point of curiosity/concern, I'd rather make sure you loyal readers are on the same page as me on this. Guest (who wrote about the drunk sex): Oh no, I'm sorry you felt uncomfortable, especially because I didn't intend for it to come across like Lily had drunk sex with randos. Thank you for being so honest and taking the time to review to tell me! This was the comment that prompted me to go back and make some small changes to the Lily/James dialogue in Chapter 9, because I don't want future readers to have the same impression as you, and that was my fault for not writing that out more clearly! Lily's sexual history is one of those things that was so clearly in my head for the story that I didn't realize I hadn't conveyed it clearly to fresh eyes, especially when I showed it to the reader via dialogue instead of monologue. See section below - I hope this helps clarify her past experiences for you!

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Recap of L+J's sexual histories: *full disclosure: I did go back and make some minor changes to the dialogue between L and J in chapter 9 when they're talking about this to clarify what I'm setting out here re: Lily* Lily has only shagged the boys she explicitly said she shagged: Lane Abbott (summer fling before 6th, he was her first time), Chuck Davies (once, part of a short fling, safe to say she regrets this one), Edgar Bones (in their ~6-month relationship), and now James. Re: Lily's first time: I don't think Lily was too fussed about taking the next step with a boy she was seeing/liked. I think she was curious for the experience, and I think it's realistic that sex would have quickly become more normalized for their grade / extended friend group as people started doing it/talking about it/etc. And when you're sixteen and home from boarding school on summer break, where else is better to sneak alone time than in a guest bedroom during a party? Also, given Lily's fifth-year experiences (more on that below), I don't think she expected sex to be that great/groundbreaking, which probably contributed to her not being too fussed about wanting a certain "first time" experience. Then, there was Chuck, and her experience of sex went from okay to horrible real quick, which made Edgar's more traditional romance/courtship all the more appealing to her. And then, enter James, who shows her just how great and groundbreaking sex can be, while also (as we'll see) bringing in the romance. Ok, back to her history. In 5th, Dolohov was her first fool-around, then she also fooled around with Garrytt once and sort of Fabian once (a match-party make-out that sorta got handsy but then fizzled - I think we can all imagine what his deal was). My head canon is that her 5th year experiences were all hands-only stuff. I imagine that 5th year (age 15/16) was the year stuff started ~happening~ sexually for their grade, and I imagine it was all pretty clumsy at first as they all started trying it out. (I also imagine there was plenty of snogging going on that I have not catalogued, hah.) In my timeline, I have both James and Lily having their first sexual experiences in the latter half of 5th year, when they were both 16. (re: Dolohov, as I revised the dialogue to mention, this means he and L were just meeting up to snog for awhile before they put hands below the belt.) We haven't heard James's complete history yet. We know his first kiss and first time fooling around were both in his fifth year with Greta, who was a year older than him and so presumably a little more experienced. My head canon is that James was a bit of a late bloomer on this front (Lily had her first kiss and first fool-around months before he had his) but then went a little wild later, as reckless teen boys who suddenly grow into their bodies can be wont to do. We know he had a thing with Adelaide for a couple months at the beginning of 6th, and then was exclusively dating/official FWB with Dahlia for the rest of 6th. We know James and Dahlia slept together at the Quidditch World Cup in August. We know he has shagged Aiko Chang, though we don't know details, and we don't know if Lily knows that. From Lily's perspective, we only know that she knows about Greta, Adelaide, and Dahlia, though I think we can fairly assume that she assumes there have been other generalized girls. And with that, my lips are ZIPPED because a more complete picture of James's history will be revealed in time.

Sorry if that was more than you wanted to know, hah! Like I said, I saw the comments/concerns/confusion, and wanted to make sure you amazing readers were on the same page as me going forward, because I think their past experiences really inform their characters and how they approach their relationship. Also, re: Dolohov, I wasn't trying to be sneaky / hide a clue there - I am not planning anything sexually nefarious between Lily/Dolohov, though the "forbidden" nature of their "thing" (which, all things considered, was rather innocent at the time) certainly plays into the tensions/dynamics around them now.

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CHAPTER 10: Go Old School

LILY

Lily was in even bigger trouble. First, because she still couldn't pay attention in class, because she was now thinking about how she had had sex with James Potter again.

She'd known that dress would be dangerous, but she had truly only anticipated causing some innocent sexual frustration at the dinner table—never in her wildest dreams had she imagined they'd end up shagging while Disillusioned in a low-lit dungeon corridor. But the joke was on her, because she had felt the charged air with him the entire dinner. She had thought him teaching himself N.E.W.T. material was the height of his sexiness? Psh. She had been so naive. She hadn't seen him school Dolohov on matters of school board and Ministry procedure. She hadn't seen that one-dimpled smile apparently reserved for sweet-talking professors in posh, polite conversation. She hadn't seen him pour a glass of wine.

And now she had seen those things, and even after his little subtextual stunt, she was still thinking about those things, to the point that she could hardly pay attention to the Arithmancy lecture happening in front of her, which involved a geometrical component of the calculation they were learning and which was sending her into a silent tailspin because that word had been thrown around constantly since the beginning of class, part of literally almost every sentence, in nearly every step of every example, making her ears practically ring to the point where she couldn't hear anything else.

Angle.

Is this angle gonna get you?

Who knew the smallest degree of adjustment, the slightest change in pressure, could make her body implode like that? And who knew it would be so indescribably sexy to hear him say that one simple word?

Because as soon as he'd said it, something had clicked in her brain. The reason why all of her past sexual experiences had been rather lack-luster; the element those other boys had missed.

Angles.

And James understood their precision.

He had understood them when he'd touched her with fingers slanting and curling just so, and he had understood them in front of the fire, when he slipped that pillow under her back and shifted over her just so, and he had understood them last night, when he asked—asked!—what angle she needed and then matched her there, just so.

It had been exhilarating. With James, a new door had opened, an understanding taking root deep within her being. This is what sex was. Not a boy huffing on top of you while he sporadically thrust like a maniac until he came and went limp as a fish. This. Rhythmic hips. Deliberate thrusts. Controlled speed. Dirty whispers. Prolonged spasms. Angles.

Merlin, she loved math.

But there was another reason she was in trouble. Because somehow—she had no idea how—James had managed to leave her a note in her Arithmancy book, waiting for her on exactly the page they were starting at that day.

Hi Evans. Two questions for you.

1. Have you been thinking about what I've been thinking about all day?

2. Are we going to keep this streak going?

Hope both answers are yes.

- J

She had had to fake a coughing fit when Remus saw her go red in the face, though she wasn't sure if it had been very convincing given that she'd also slapped her hand over the note like she had just smashed an insect. Ever the courteous friend, Remus had just raised his eyebrows and returned his eyes to his own book with a smirk, letting her attempt to collect herself in relative privacy.

And so it was that she spent all of Arithmancy only able to think about angles of the sexual variety, and also puzzling over her other quandary: that morning, she had woken up with her period.

Periods were another one of those funny things that witches couldn't escape just because they could do magic, and though the wizarding world did provide girls the ability to have a simple and perfectly effective contraceptive potion on owl-order, a tampon was still a tampon, even if it came equipped with absorption charms and laced with de-cramping properties.

And it also still prevented the possibility of a certain streak continuing. A streak which Lily was somewhat disturbed to find herself desperately wanting to continue. Rats.

If Remus knew about the note, he feigned ignorance, and if he really was ignorant, Lily wasn't about to enlighten him, so once class was over, they started their trek back to Gryffindor Tower in slightly awkward silence. But as soon as they had cleared earshot of anyone else, Lily realized Remus had been quiet for a different reason as he leaned toward her and said in a low voice, "Your first mission's tonight."

Her eyes snapped over to him. "A…mission?"

He was smiling at her, clearly beyond amused at how new this all was for her. "Yes, Lily. A mission."

"Tonight?"

"Yes."

"But it's Friday."

Remus looked at her blankly. "Yes."

"So we all usually hang out on Fridays. I've barely seen Marly lately."

He just shrugged. "You'll see her tomorrow, won't you? She said you girls are going shopping for awhile?"

Lily chewed her lip. "Well, yes, but—"

"Lily." Remus stopped, put a hand on her shoulder, and for the first time he sounded almost…stern. "Missions aren't always convenient. We can't choose when our targets meet up. You're an operative now, yeah?"

Lily didn't know whether to bust up laughing or bow her head in shame, so she settled for nodding her head and chewing her lip some more to bite back her smile. Remus snorted, chuckling to himself as he started walking again.

"Fuck, your face."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Well just give your operative a heart attack, why don't you?"

Remus chucked her on the shoulder. "When we get back, drop off your stuff and get changed, and then make up some excuse to come up to our dorm before dinner, we'll fill you in. Oh, and wear something comfortable. Like, something you could sit in for a few hours."

Lily cast him a sideways glance. What the bloody hell had she gotten herself into?

xxx

She ended up choosing to wear a pair of leggings and a black oversized knit that just covered her bum and was exceptionally cozy, and then she ended up telling the girls that she had forgotten to catch James up on some Heads' business that she couldn't discuss at dinner, to which they raised curious brows but conveniently couldn't pry because they all knew Head students were told confidential information that was usually reserved for teachers, and then she had to take a moment to gather herself before knocking on their dormitory door, it all hitting her in a rush that she was about to see James for the first time since the night before, and then the door swung back in a flourish and Lily jumped practically out of her skin, to the amusement of Sirius Black, who grinned down at her from the doorway and held up a piece of parchment covered with minuscule, moving dots.

"Saw you arrive."

Lily rolled her eyes and pushed past him.

"Weren't trying to eavesdrop on us, I hope," he told her. "Though you wouldn't be able to anyway, we keep the door silenced."

Lily started to retort, "No, I wasn't eavesdropping, I was just—"

But then she cut off, realizing she might not want to finish that sentence out loud, as all four of them were arranged in somewhat of a circle, and they were all looking at her.

Sirius's expression looked too amused. "Just what?"

Lily shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest, deciding to humble herself a little.

"Just psyching myself up, I guess. First mission and all that."

Remus grinned at her, and Peter, closest to her, gave her a nice pat on the back.

"You'll do great, Lily."

A voice she'd recognize anywhere: "Well, you certainly look the part."

Lily turned to look at him. She had managed to avoid looking at him thus far, and now she wished she could have avoided it a little longer. He was sitting on his trunk, casually leaning against the footboard of his bed, hair messy, playful grin on his face, and he too was clad in all black, wearing joggers and a plain black hoodie. Somehow, out of his usual school clothes and in a more athletic ensemble, he looked even more criminally good. Lily's stomach flipped over.

"Yeah," Sirius chuckled. "Did Remus tell you to wear all black?"

"No," Remus interjected, "I only told her to be comfortable, the fact that she chose all black just confirms she's the best operative for the job."

He winked at her.

Lily's gaze landed back on James, and she watched his eyes travel over her before saying simply, "Great minds."

She tried not to flush.

"So." Sirius clapped and rubbed his hands together. "Evans, I'll get you up to speed. We found out some of the Slytherins are hanging out in the Astronomy Tower tonight, putting on a little party, because it's two Slytherin prefects who're on rounds."

Lily scowled. "Who?"

Sirius cocked a brow. "I don't know, you made the schedule, Head Girl."

Perhaps seeing her retort coming, Remus interjected quickly. "And maybe, after tonight, we might want to pair Slytherins together a little more often, see if that…helps."

Lily nodded and turned back to Sirius with a sigh. "Okay, they're flouting duty, go on."

"So you and Prongs are going in."

Lily's mouth fell open. "We're what?"

Peter spoke up next to her. "You're spying. On their party. They'll be bound to talk if they're drinking."

Lily looked back and forth between them, not missing that James couldn't stop smiling.

"And how exactly are we supposed to infiltrate a Slytherin party?"

James shook his head. "Not infiltrate. Not yet, anyway."

Lily arched a brow. "Not yet? As in, we might someday?"

Sirius chimed, "All options on the table, Swish."

"So, if we're not infiltrating…"

James chuckled. "We're gonna go old school."

Lily looked at him blankly. "I don't follow."

He reached around to his bed, then held out his hand toward her—only his hand had disappeared.

"What—"

"Take it. See for yourself."

Flummoxed, Lily took a couple steps and reached out towards where his hand should be and gasped as she felt something smooth as glass slide through her fingers.

"Is this—"

"An invisibility cloak," James answered.

Her hands and forearms had disappeared where the cloak lay over them. Lily looked up at him with wide eyes. "But these are rare—"

He nodded. "This one's my dad's. It's sort of a family heirloom."

Understanding dawned on her, and she looked around to the other three. "This is how you…do things."

They all just grinned at her. She swung her eyes back to James. "So what, we just…creep around and listen?"

He smiled. "That's about the gist of it, yeah."

His eyes were twinkling behind his glasses, catching the last rays of the setting sun through one of their windows. Under the heat of his gaze, she suddenly felt…shy. Last night, she had been buzzed off red wine and the smolder of James's presence around that tense table and the sensation of him pressing into her backside while they found themselves (once again) in a rather perilous situation, and the result of all that was that she had been more forward, more aggressive, than she'd ever been with a boy in her life. She knew she had a temper, knew sharp words were quick to rise on her tongue, but never before had she literally grabbed a boy by the balls while she told him off, let alone liked it. It had unnerved her a little. And now, seeing him in daylight, in casual clothes, completely sober and surrounded by his friends, she felt slightly embarrassed, plus suddenly nervous knowing she was now being sent to spend a night with him. In close quarters. Under an invisibility cloak.

She arched a brow back at Sirius. "And you need me for this particular mission why?"

His grin was sly, like he knew what she was really fishing about. "Because if you have to blow your cover, you can act like you guys got a tip-off and bust them all for being there."

She sent a pointed look to James. "And you can't do this old school stake-out by yourself?"

But it was Sirius who answered. "We work in pairs, always."

Lily turned back to look at him and saw he was being completely serious.

"Core tenet of being a Marauder, you never leave another Marauder without backup. No way we'd just send one into that hornet's nest."

An odd wave of something like admiration flushed through her as she heard the sincerity in his voice. It was moving, how deeply they cared for one another, how they looked out for one another.

"And," Sirius went on, "we'll be in the common room, watching on the map, in case you need backup. We'll put it out that you two got called away on Heads' stuff, some issue with rounds. People won't suspect."

Lily nodded, accepting the plan. They really had thought of everything. Silence fell as they all looked at each other, and then Sirius said, "So, I guess that's it. Try not to get caught. Or fucking distracted."

Lily felt the initial warmth of a flush start to creep around her neck. Sirius flashed her a wicked grin. "Or should I say, distracted fucking?"

Her mouth fell open, her face burning, and she mustered as angry a look as she could. Had James told him? Had he told all of them?

"Kidding," Remus exclaimed, eyes wide with alarm as he looked between Sirius and Lily. "He's kidding. That was a joke."

Lily rolled her eyes, made sure to throw one last scathing look at all of them, ending with James, and then huffed, "I'm going to dinner," and turned to stalk out the door.

xxx

"Did you tell Sirius about…us?"

It was the first question out of her mouth several hours later as soon as they cleared earshot of the Fat Lady, and James flashed her a knowing grin as he swept his gaze around them, making sure there was no one coming up the stairs to Gryffindor Landing, and no one else coming out of the portrait hole.

"No," James told her. "But sometimes he knows me better than I know myself, so I can't blame him if he could just tell. Ready?"

But without waiting for her reply, he swirled the cloak over the both of them. Lily gasped as she felt it settle softly around her shoulders, then felt another jolt of surprise as she still saw James looking down at her, hazel eyes crinkling behind his glasses.

"It doesn't—we can still—"

His voice was low, almost a whisper. "Yeah. Why do you think I suggested it?"

Lily blushed. James slid an arm around her shoulders and started steering her down the stairs, to the seventh floor, leaning down towards her ear to murmur, "People can still hear us, even if they can't see us, and they can still hit us with spells if they wanted to, so keep that in mind."

Lily breathed back a quiet, "Okay," and understood why he hurried them down the stairs when, at the bottom, they faced their first encounter with other people: a clump of fifth year girls. James slid them toward the corner, pulling her tighter against him under his arm. It was close; the girls moved in a pack, and had they been on the stairs, they might not have been able to avoid them. Lily held her breath.

As the girls neared them, Lily heard the threads of a conversation. "Just tell us, Emmy, come on. Who has the best abs?"

Lily's hands flung to cover her mouth. Emmeline was blushing. "They're my teammates, Gwen."

"Yeah, and they're the sexiest guys in the school." The girl, Gwen, ticked her fingers. "Sirius Black. Ludo Bagman. Kingsley Shacklebolt. James Potter."

Another girl chimed in. "I bet it's James. With arms like that? No way his abs aren't amazing."

Emmeline rolled her eyes. "I'm not gossiping about them like this, or I won't be able to even look at them all in practice."

Gwen wasn't giving up. "Is Potter seeing anyone? Hogsmeade's tomorrow."

Emmeline said simply, "I don't talk to them about stuff like that."

"Maybe you could ask him? Like, casual. Just find out for me?"

Emmeline gave her friend an annoyed look. "No, Gwen. He's my captain, I'm not prying. Figure it out yourself if you really want to know."

Gwen huffed as they started up the stairs. "Bloody load of help you are."

Lily felt the tug of James's arm pulling them along now that the coast was clear, and she looked up at him to find him grinning.

"What d'you think, Evans? Whose abs are best?"

She pinched his side as she hissed, "Is this how your head got so inflated? You snuck around and creeped on girls salivating over you?"

"Didn't really need to creep around to know about that, Evans."

Ugh, he was so insufferably right. Girls had all but flung themselves at him and Sirius since the prior year. Well, actually, some had literally flung themselves, though Lily thought they were probably under the influence at the time of said literal flinging.

"And you didn't answer the question."

"I'd need to see the others' abs to give an honest assessment."

"You have seen them—Prefects' Bathroom."

Oh, yeah. She had. "Doesn't mean I noticed."

He gave her a little squeeze under his arm, and Lily didn't have to look up at him to know he liked that answer.

As they strolled down the corridor toward the entrance to the Astronomy Tower, Lily had a surreal moment of realizing that she had just walked all the way from Gryffindor Landing with James's arm around her shoulders. She'd barely noticed. It had just felt…natural. She liked it. And now that they were cleared of any other people, and she felt more comfortable being under the cloak, she also realized that she had assumed he'd put his arm around her as some part of Official Cloak Wearing, like they had to get closer, or he had to steer her, or something. But that was bollocks. He'd just wanted to put his arm around her, and she'd let him, and now they'd walked that whole stretch and learned how perfectly she fit under his arm, and she hadn't worried once about what other people would think because no one could see them, so no one would know, and as he slid his arm away to press his ear against the Astronomy Tower door, Lily's first thought was that she wanted it back.

Oh, Merlin. She was getting into even more trouble.

She wasn't sure what James thought he'd be able to hear through that thick mahogany door, but he clearly hadn't heard anything that concerned him, because with another glance around them to make sure the coast was clear, he opened it slowly and then started to quietly creep inside. Lily followed him, and he shut the door silently behind them before turning and making his way slowly along the underside of the rafters. He paused, listening, and then Lily heard it: the sounds of light voices, chuckling, the crinkle and hiss of paper rolling and lighting, the small pop! of a bottle uncorking.

"Over there," he whispered. "Probably as close as we can get."

They picked a spot against the wall where it looked, from the shadows through the rafters above them, that the Slytherins were in that area, and Lily could just picture them lounging on the stone parapet amongst open bottles and rolled joints. In a coordinated move, James swirled the cloak around so it draped over their heads and down their fronts, and they sat with backs against the wall, knees up, arms pressed together.

"Comfy?"

Thank Merlin she had chosen this sweater, because it's chunkiness protected her back from the rough stone wall behind her. "Yeah, fine."

"Well, welcome to your first stake-out, Evans."

"It's so fun already," she said dryly.

He smiled. "It will be. Because you're with me."

She looked up at him through her lashes, feeling half-annoyed and half-pleased. The bloody bastard was right, and he knew it, and she knew it. Because James Potter was fun. And where a few weeks ago she had been ready to vehemently deny that fact, now she found herself rather intrigued.

"Is this your idea of an Astronomy Tower date? Squished under the rafters?"

"Not quite." He grinned at her. "I don't know if you're ready for my Astronomy Tower date, Evans."

"Oh, and why's that?"

He shrugged. "You'll just have to wait and see."

"That assumes I'll be waiting."

"You will be. Eagerly."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Someone's confident."

He looked down at her pointedly, a smirk playing at his mouth. "I am a Chaser, Evans."

She turned to face front, muttering, "Arrogant prat," under her breath.

He chuckled quietly and put his hand on her thigh as he leaned down to her ear. "Let's play a game."

She looked up at him; he was close enough to kiss. "A game?"

He nodded and whispered, "Yeah, they're being boring up there, just smoking." He spread his fingers against her thigh, then murmured, "Never have I ever slept over in the girls' dorm."

Though her mind raced with that new knowledge, Lily gave him an immediate Look as she hissed, "That's hardly fair, I'm immediately down one."

He just shrugged. "'S how the game works, Evans."

"Fine," she huffed, resting her own hand against her other leg and putting a finger down. "Then never have I ever slept ov—"

She cut off, realizing that was no longer true. She had slept over—in James's bed.

He was grinning, eyes twinkling. "That was your first time…sleeping over?"

Lily nodded, suddenly feeling a bit shy, but then she forced her attention back on the game. "Okay. Um, never have I ever had drunk sex."

James's brow furrowed. "We had a lot of wine last night."

Lily's breath caught for a second. It was their first real spoken acknowledgement that approximately twenty-four hours prior, he had been shagging her against a wall in a dungeon corridor. Heat pooled in her stomach.

Lily wrenched her thoughts back to the game, shaking her head. "Tipsy isn't drunk, we were in control. I mean like…drunk. Like maybe don't remember it happening."

He grimaced and put a finger down, then answered her unspoken question. "Ladie."

Lily didn't say anything, not sure if she even wanted to pry, though she knew he'd probably tell her if she asked.

But then the moment passed, and James was saying, "Never have I ever been on a date in Madam Puddifut's."

Lily rolled her eyes and put a finger down. "That's also unfair, you know Eddie and I went there every Hogsmeade weekend."

James shrugged. "It's the truth, I've never gone on a date there. Never really wanted to."

"Well, you're not missing anything," Lily grumbled.

James chuckled softly. "Why's that?"

"It's just a little cliché, you know?"

"So why'd you guys go all the time?"

Lily shrugged. "That's just Eddie. He did everything by the book."

"And did you…like that?"

Lily met his gaze, saw something thoughtful behind his glasses. "In some ways, yeah. I guess I did." She cleared her throat. "But I could never set foot in Madam Puddifut's again and be perfectly happy. Anyway. Erm, never have I ever…hooked up in the library."

Now it was James's turn to give her a Look. "That's unfair, you're only saying that because you heard that damn story Ladie spread around."

Lily smirked at him. "It's the truth, I never have."

James's look just then spelled payback. "Never have I ever had sex with a Hufflepuff."

She scowled at him, though she filed that little tidbit away. "Never have I ever had oral sex in the Trophy Room."

He rolled his eyes as he put another finger down; Adelaide hadn't even needed to spread that one, as they'd been seen, and the student body had immediately latched to the story of Adelaide dropping to her knees and giving James a blow job right in front of his special services plaque and Quidditch trophy. Lily had always found that story rather disgusting and held onto it very tightly when she wanted to dwell on her hatred for him, but now James had the good grace to at least look a little ashamed by it.

They each had two fingers left.

James looked at her apprehensively for a moment, but his desire to know must have won out, because he said, "Never have I ever gone down on a bloke."

Lily put a finger down, and she wasn't sure entirely what possessed her to say it, but she sensed he was wondering and even sort of wanted him to know, so she told him, "Only Eddie."

His face didn't betray any reaction. She held his gaze. "Never have I ever gone down on a girl."

She felt James tuck a finger under against her leg. "Only Dahlia."

That was a surprise. Lily had assumed he had done just about everything with Adelaide, but now that she thought about it, she had never heard a story about that, and surely if it had happened, there would have been one. Knowing he'd only done that for Dahlia, who had also been the only girl to be a girlfriend, was intriguing but also stirred some of that distant roiling feeling she hadn't felt in awhile.

They each had one finger left.

James was quiet for a moment—thinking of something he hadn't done? Trying to think of what else he'd heard about her?

"Never have I ever been in love with someone I've dated."

Her stomach flipped, her heart suddenly beating more rapidly in her chest. What? He really just went there? He was watching her, waiting for her reaction. Lily's mind raced. Had she been in love with Edgar? They'd never said those words to each other. She'd felt courted, and appreciated, and plenty of other happy, nice feelings, but had she been in love?

She shook her head slightly, her voice barely more than a breath. "I haven't either."

The ghost of a smile played at his lips, but he just said, "Your turn, Evans."

Just then, the door to the Astronomy Tower swung open so violently it crashed into the wall, and a slight figure with flapping robes and lanky hair swept up the stairs to the upper landing.

Avery's voice sounded startled. "Merlin, Sev. What's got your knickers in a twist?"

Lily heard the oily tone to Severus's voice, something he seemed to add when he talked to Slytherins but never used to have before, as he snarled, "Perhaps the fact that you've all lost your heads and turned into a group of imbeciles, trying to have a meeting on the top of the Astronomy Tower."

Avery and Mulciber were laughing, and Drucilla sounded annoyed as she said, "Sit the fuck down, Sev. It's a party. And Reg and I are rounds tonight, so no one's going to catch us."

Dolohov's voice floated softly. "Don't tell me you're still upset about last night, Sev."

Lily's stomach twisted in a knot.

"I don't get why you care, anyway. So what if they have a thing?"

Snape didn't answer, and Lily could just see him in her mind, seething and hurt.

Avery's voice piped up. "Where's the Mudblood tonight?"

Drucilla answered lazily, "Common room."

Mulciber asked, "Does she ever leave?"

Drucilla sighed. "Not as much as last year. Her not going to the library as often is a real drag."

Regulus spoke up for the first time, his voice cold and pinched. "I think we need to switch it up."

Dolohov sounded intrigued. "What d'you mean?"

"I mean, Drucilla's little informants aren't actually getting us enough information, and we're wasting time. We should do a proper tail."

Lily froze. James had kept his hand on her leg, just above her knee, and now he squeezed, something reassuring. Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Snape responded, "I agree. We can take turns, set up shifts."

What? Set up shifts? To follow her around?

Regulus drawled, "Aren't going to hog them all for yourself, now, are you Sev?"

The Slytherins tittered.

Mulciber chimed, "Maybe you'll even get a show if you catch her with Potter."

Drucilla scoffed. "As if it'd be that good."

Avery laughed. "Not getting jealous of a Mudblood, are we, Dru?"

"As if she'd have anything to be jealous of, Art."

"I don't know," Mulciber teased. "Bitch looks like she has some nice tits."

James went even more rigid next to her, but then he leaned down to her ear and whispered, "And something tells me he has a small dick."

Lily clapped a hand over her mouth, trying to desperately stifle giggles that they could not afford to allow escape.

Snape sounded annoyed. "And apparently none of you can keep your focus."

Dolohov let out a long exhale, then said, "Relax, Sev. We'll do the tail, we'll keep it to a small group. Let's set it up tomorrow, yeah? Compare schedules."

Snape must have acquiesced, because then he turned on his heels and came right back down the stairs and through the Astronomy Tower door, letting it slam behind him.

Drucilla voiced what they were probably all thinking. "What is his fucking deal?"

Dolohov answered with a casual, "Don't worry about him, Dru. I'll handle him."

Lily didn't like the sound of that. Because she knew exactly what Snape's deal was: the insinuation of Lily with James. Which she'd shoved in his face when she'd needed to. Which she knew, suddenly, that she would do again if the moment called for it. Which she also knew that Dolohov had overheard, as he'd been immobilized on the floor as she'd taunted Sev, and that Dolohov had seen, when he'd noticed her hand disappearing under the table at dinner and caught the way James had looked at her in that dress. And none of that could add up to anything good, though she still had no idea what it could all mean, but suddenly, strangely, she realized she wasn't afraid.

She should have been; she had just listened to the Slytherins plan to actually tail her. But she wasn't. She felt…confident. Because she was a step ahead of them. Because she wasn't sitting around oblivious in her common room like they thought, but sitting underneath them listening in on their conversation. Because she was fighting back. Because she had friends—Marauders—on her side fighting back with her. And suddenly, even though she knew she would have Slytherins tailing her every move after tomorrow, she felt untouchable.

Lily looked up at James, finding his eyes already on her, glittering in the dark. And somehow she also knew that she was in far more trouble than she'd ever imagined she'd be, because James Potter was dangerous. He brought out this side of her she'd never known she'd had. Or maybe she had known, deep down, it was there (she had always been drawn to curse-breaking, after all) but had just never fully explored it. He made her feel alive. He made her spine tingle in excitement, her thoughts tilt ever so slightly toward recklessness, her body thrum with the thrill of adventure, her laughter bubble over at inappropriate moments. The energy around him was just charged, and it was like she instinctually rose to meet it, some subconscious leveling she didn't understand.

And that wasn't even considering how badly she wanted to kiss him. Or feel his hands on her body. Or run her hands all over his body. Or hold him thick in her hand, or watch his face as he came, or hear those sounds, something more than a whimper but less than a groan, that escaped him when he did.

She had never been so obsessed with the idea of giving pleasure to a boy, but now all she thought about, all she wanted to do, was get James off. Was this more of that mysterious subconscious leveling happening? Some sexual energy he radiated that her body just had to match? She could remember, clearly as if she'd just held him, the sensation of him thickening in her hand in those moments right before climax, and she could still picture, clearly as if she'd just seen it, the way his face scrunched in pleasure as he came, and she could still hear, clearly as if he'd just made it, that guttural sound that she wanted to hear over and over and over—

"Evans?"

"What?"

James was looking at her expectantly, a knowing grin spreading over his face. He had so caught her ogling him. Damn, damn, damn.

"I asked you if you were cold."

She had to take a second to think about it. Certain parts of her were feeling rather warm, but now she could feel the chill of sitting outside creeping up in her arms, her neck, her feet.

"Erm, a bit, yeah."

He put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in closer to him and running his hand up and down her arm, sparking heat everywhere he touched. Lily nestled against him, letting his warmth seep through her skin and into her bones.

Once Snape left, it was like the atmosphere amongst the other Slytherins went back to normal, and they dropped the subject of Lily in favor of more generalized Hogwarts gossip that faded to only occasional comments as they all kept smoking.

It was distinctly boring, and if it wasn't for the fact that James's presence kept her blood simmering just under her skin, she might have even dozed off. At some point, the Slytherins gathered themselves and set to stumbling back down the stairs and through the door, and once they had given them a few minutes' lead time, James got up slowly, pulling Lily to her feet with him. They were both stiff and somewhat sore, but once they got moving again, got back inside the castle, invisible in the dark corridor, Lily felt wildly alert.

So, it seemed, did James, as he slipped his arm back over her shoulder, hooking an elbow around her neck, and asked quietly, "Did you get my note?"

She smiled sideways at him; she had wondered if he was going to bring that up. "Yes, I did."

"And?"

"I think I can safely say I thought about what you thought about all day."

He grinned and dropped his lips to her ear as he whispered, "And our streak?"

"Um." Lily closed her eyes briefly, shook her head, sensed him slow down, pull his arm away. She turned up to look at him, confusion and perhaps even slight alarm on his face. It was almost cute, and she chuckled, though she knew it was cruel because it only made him look more puzzled.

"What's wrong?"

Lily looked up at him. "I…can't right now."

He blinked at her. For apparently being the master of subtext, this one was somehow lost on him. Lily arched her brows.

James tried again. "Is this, like, one of those girl rules against streaks? You don't want to hook up with me three days in a row?"

Lily snorted and rolled her eyes. "Potter, for being smart enough to map the whole damn castle, you sure can be bloody thick sometimes."

The poor bloke still look confused.

Lily lowered her voice and looked at him pointedly. "I got my period."

Comprehension dawned over his face, and Lily didn't miss his sigh of relief, the way his shoulders relaxed, like he had been worried it was about him. Her stomach gave a little flutter over how stupidly adorable it was.

"Fuck," he muttered. "I sort of forgot about those."

"Lucky you," Lily grumbled.

He arched a brow back at her. "Yeah, well, you've never had to deal with being hard all the time, so lucky you, too."

She flashed him a playful side-eye. "Guess I just forgot about that."

He chuckled as he muttered, "Shove off," but he re-looped his arm around her shoulders and steered her down a side corridor she didn't think she'd ever gone down before.

"So what d'you say about going old school?" he asked conversationally.

Lily didn't know if her eyes could get wider. "Old school?"

He was removing his arm, leaning against a door she hadn't noticed as he turned the handle. "Yeah, you know." He flashed her a playful smile. "Like fifth-year shit."

Her eyes could get wider. "Fifth-year shit? What does that mean?"

James didn't answer right away, and Lily followed him into the room, feeling like she had stepped back in time as she took in the few desks, the dated carpets, the slightly musty scent of the air. James locked and silenced the door behind him, left the cloak in a pile on a desk, then grabbed her hand as he passed her, seating himself in a desk chair and pulling her down towards him. Lily straddled his lap and James immediately slid his hands up her legginged legs, squeezing her thighs as he kissed her, something simple and soft.

He pulled back, his voice low and raspy as he said, "You've really never done this?"

Lily still wasn't entirely following, but she didn't want to admit that just yet.

"Was I conversing with a wall the other night when I spilled my confession?"

He grinned, lowering his head to gently trail kisses along her jaw. "Remind me what that was, again?"

Lily rolled her eyes even as she tilted her head for him, muttering, "You're insufferable."

She could feel him smiling against her neck. "It's all the shock, I can't remember."

"Oh, please," she grumbled, "as if you haven't memorized every fucking word."

He found that place just under her ear, on the column of her neck, that made her go slightly incoherent, and he sucked lightly on her skin. Lily sighed in pleasure, her hands instantly sliding up his neck to bury into his hair.

His voice was gravelly, almost a purr, as he murmured, "Maybe I just want to hear you say it."

Lily sucked in a breath, felt his hands slip under her jumper and slide up to press hotly into her back.

"Arrogant," she gasped, the effect of his lips on her throat detracting from the force of her barb.

He chuckled. "Sometimes a bloke needs a nice ego stroke, hmm?"

Heat swirled in Lily's stomach at the memory of that first night studying together in their office. They hadn't even kissed yet when they'd had that exchange. Merlin, that felt like ages ago already.

She supposed he had asked nicely, and that as he had given her what she said she needed on more than one occasion now, it was only polite to return the favor. Lily pushed out the words through gasping breaths as his mouth continued to do devilish things to her base of her throat.

"James—you're the only bloke—who's ever made me come—and if that's not—the ego stroke—of the fucking century—then I don't know what is."

He grinned against her skin and then brought his mouth near hers. "I can probably think of a few more things."

"Oh?"

But he didn't tell her what those were, just kissed her instead, his hands somehow everywhere beneath her jumper, on her back, her waist, her hips. She hadn't ever straddled him like this before, hadn't been propped this far above him, had never had to look down at him like this, and she was pleasantly surprised at how much she liked it, liked feeling his head tip back for her, his mouth open for her as she threaded fingers deeper into his hair.

It was when she was wrapped up in a deep kiss, arms tight around his neck, tongue in his mouth, that James reached down to cup her bum and pull her tight against him right as he rolled his hips up against her, and Lily suddenly felt the bulge of his arousal just beneath her where they'd join.

Oh.

When they had rubbed together like this for the first time on the common room sofa, Lily had thought it felt deliciously good, even through two pairs of thick denim. But they weren't wearing thick denim this time. She had on leggings, and he had on joggers, and both fabrics were decidedly thinner and softer than denim, and now the sensation of him—heavy, thick—rubbing right against where all the blood in her body was rushing was nearly as good as if they didn't have any clothes on at all, and as Lily squirmed against him, she accidentally nudged a particular spot that felt especially sensitive and involuntarily gasped against his mouth.

Oh.

James grinned, then said softly, "Like I said. Fifth-year shit."

Wait. Could she—get off like this? She had never found herself in this position, never even imagined the possibility. She wasn't even entirely sure that it made sense, as the only times she'd ever gotten off before had involved having something—fingers, James—inside.

Lily kissed him again, tentatively rolling her hips against him in a slow slide, feeling that familiar ache as the shape of him pressed against her.

James broke away from her mouth to give attention to the other side of her throat, murmuring, "Get that friction, Evans."

He had said that before—in the store cupboard. It was possible. He knew it was. But—how? And if it was, how had she not done this? Had she missed some memo that circulated? And also, who else had done this on James? (And did she really want to know the answer to that?)

Lily hesitated, feeling his tongue find that sensitive spot on the column of her neck that made her spine tingle, feeling the delicious pressure of his arousal between her legs that made her ache, but not feeling the sensation that made pressure build and little zips of electricity shoot through her veins.

James's lips ghosted over her skin. "What's wrong?"

Lily hastily whispered, "Nothing."

The beginnings of something uncomfortable, like embarrassment, started to swirl in her stomach, though she tried to shut it down. She had already told him about her orgasm situation, so he really shouldn't be surprised about this, and she had just shagged him twice, including in somewhat risqué fashion in a dungeon corridor, so it's not like she was inexperienced, per se.

But still. She was getting the distinct impression she was missing something, that there was some level of adolescent exploration she had somehow skipped, and as she had always prided herself on knowing things, on being prepared, this particular feeling was making her rather anxious, her discomfort all the greater for the fact that she had finally accepted she fancied James Potter quite a lot and, consequently, she was feeling stupidly insecure over something that she probably would have otherwise been very forward about.

James pulled up from her neck to hover in front of her face, eyes searching hers, and then he slid his hands up to grip her hips, guiding her against him as he said quietly, "It's like being on top." He gave her a cheeky grin. "Just, you know, with clothes on."

Lily swallowed hard, and James's eyes went wide. "You've never—been on top?"

She shook her head. She'd always been either beneath or facing the boy she was with; now that she thought about it, she couldn't explain why her and Edgar had never done it this way in all the times they'd snuck off to an empty classroom—they just hadn't, instead sticking to her being on the desk while he stood in front of her.

James smiled and pressed a soft kiss to her mouth. "The second your period's over, you find me, because you're getting on fucking top of me."

Lily flushed, smiling, and then James added, "But until then, you're gonna come in my lap."

She flushed slightly deeper, glad for the relatively dark cover of the room, and bit her lip.

James could obviously sense her hesitation, had picked up on her confusion, because he pulled her tighter against him and rolled his hips into hers.

"How's that feel?"

"Good." Lily's voice was breathless. "So good."

James was smiling. "Like it'll make you come?"

Lily shook her head, biting her lip again. "No. But I felt it earlier."

His lips hovered in front of hers. "Then let's find that angle you need."

Angle. Fuck.

James pressed his open mouth to hers and Lily met his tongue in a slow dance that was starting to feel dangerously familiar. Her hands slid back into his hair while she felt his hands squeezing her hips, bum, thighs. He rolled his hips against her, and Lily slid around him, squirming in his lap, until all of a sudden a motion between them clicked, and Lily slid up just as he rolled down, and that electrical wire lit up, making her gasp into his mouth.

James's grin was immediate, and he held her tightly right where she was, keeping that pressure, and as the seconds ticked by Lily realized more coherently what she was feeling: she had rubbed against the rim of his head, somewhere not underneath her, along her opening, but just slightly above, and the pressure of him against her there was intoxicating.

His voice was low, almost a purr, as he leaned around her face and said into her ear, "This is the spot that makes you come, Evans. You don't need me inside, you can get there like this."

More doors opening. More layers of understanding settling deep within her being. Why certain movements of fingers had always felt better than others. Why the positions she'd been in with James had felt the way they did. Why she felt like her pulse was right against where he was still pressed against her. Angles. Precision.

He gently pushed her back on his legs, then slid himself forward in the seat just a smidge so he could lean back slightly more against the chair, and before Lily could scoot back up over him, he adjusted himself—why did she find that beyond erotic?—to rest more vertically for her. Meeting her eyes, he reached for her, and then Lily did scoot closer to him, rubbing along the length of him as she drew herself up until they were chest-to-chest, so absorbed in the feel of him beneath her that she barely heard his voice low and raspy saying, "Yeah, c'mere, see if this hits your cl—"

"Oh, fuck!"

He was only at a fractionally different angle beneath her, but that was all it took—that was it.

Fuck, she loved math.

James was grinning, holding onto her hips as she slid back and forth over his thick length, though his grip was looser than before, like he knew she didn't need him to guide her and he was just letting her do what she needed.

Lily buried her hands in his hair, her face in his neck, as she ground against him, hips now rolling in a way that was more instinctual than she'd ever thought possible, and she suddenly craved what this would be like if these layers of clothes weren't between them. Somehow, James had unlocked yet another piece to the puzzle, a piece she hadn't even known was missing—

"Lily—"

A whole new wave of fluttery pleasures swirled in her stomach at the sound of her name in that tone, something she already recognized as telling her he was starting to get close.

His hands had wandered down to cup her bum again, pulling her against him with each slide, and his mouth hovered near the dip where her neck met her shoulder.

"Fuck, Lily."

She gripped his hair tighter, rubbed against him with a little more speed, her pressure building, and a whimpering moan started to escape her just then before she bit down on her lip.

James broke away from sucking on her skin. "You don't have to be quiet."

Oh, yeah. She was already so weirdly used to being caught in clandestine situations with him—store cupboard, common room, corridor—that it was strange to have actual privacy, the promise of a locked and silenced door.

She let a true whimpering moan escape her then, something deep in her throat but that came out sort of high pitched, and James's reaction was immediate, fingers sinking harder into her skin and torso tensing and those sharp teeth just lightly scraping as his own responding groan was stifled against her shoulder.

"James." His name was like a breath in her mouth, and she said it again, laced with slightly more edge as she suddenly zeroed in on that spot that threatened to burst. "James."

"Yeah, Lily." His breath was hot on her neck, his tongue now darting along her throat. "Like you're riding me, come on."

She knew she hadn't needed his permission, but something about those words just then made her snap, made her chase down that implosion that she knew awaited her, made her grind against him with selfish abandon, right on the precipice, her mind spinning as she comprehended this was even possible, this was about to happen—

"James, fuck! I'm—"

Still supporting her with one arm wrapped around her back to cup her arse, James slid his other hand up her jumper, going straight for her breast, his thumb immediately circling, sending that electrical thread ablaze like a tripwire, and she felt him thrust up against her right as she was grinding down over him.

"Get it, Lily." His voice was soft but so insistent, so commanding, like when he had spoken to her while she dueled Severus, and just as then, her body seemed to obey, swiveling over him as he purred, "That's it, Lil. Get what you need, babe, come on."

She was desperate, right there, her pressure about to burst, and she pushed herself closer against him, shifting higher until she could feel the tip of him through his joggers, just like she'd felt earlier, and she could imagine exactly how he would feel—smooth, supple—rubbing right at that spot, and her core was tightening, her legs starting to shake, and James stilled, like he knew she was down to her final moments and didn't want to interrupt her rhythm. She could feel his arm secure around her, his bulging thickness underneath her as she focused on rubbing against his tip in frantic little thrusts, trying to reach that final touch that would make her break, and he smiled at her, his raspy voice filling her ears, coaxing her closer.

"There it is. Use me, come on, just like that"—Lily whimpered as she rubbed against him, feeling herself start to contract—"fuck, Lily, I'm close too"—she could see his face starting to scrunch, feeling his body tighten under hers—"I need you to come"—she felt him twitch underneath her, thrust just a little bit into her, like he had been trying not to but couldn't help it—"James, I'm—oh, fuck"—one of his little thrusts had lined up with hers, and with one last press of his tip right against her pleasure point, she toppled over the edge with a whimpering cry.

James groaned as she spasmed over him, twitching in his lap, and his arms closed tighter around her, his lips ghosting her ear as he kept thrusting up against her with raspy yes, Lily's and fuck, Lily's but then he was suddenly pushing her back on his legs, and she was only vaguely aware of his hands leaving her body but then she heard the sound of fabric rustling and her eyes snapped open, finding him already looking at her, and when he held his hand up to her face she somehow knew exactly what he was asking for and immediately gave it to him, grabbing the back of his hand and gathering as much saliva as she could and licking across his palm, swirling her tongue over his skin.

He was pulling his hand away, his eyes closing, mouth falling open, and Lily grasped his neck, resting her forehead against his as she watched him return his hand to himself, the soft, wet sounds seeming to echo against the quiet backdrop of the room as he pumped himself swiftly once, twice, three times—

"Fuck, fuck, Lil—"

His hips bucked and he let out a soft cry, barely covering himself with his palm before he spilled, sudden and rushing through his fingers, and Lily felt a surge of fluttery warmth spread through her as she realized how close he had been just from her, how little he'd needed to push himself over.

He was breathing hard, and Lily watched, scratching her fingers gently against his hairline, as his climax lingered and he worked himself through smaller, shorter bursts. When he was done, Lily closed her eyes and nuzzled his face, dotting kisses over his cheek, the corner of his mouth, his jaw, before straightening up and meeting his gaze.

For possibly the first time in all they had already done together, James looked…bashful. A flush was creeping up around his neck, and his blown eyes searched hers.

As she slid off his lap to retrieve her wand from where it had fallen to the floor, she asked,"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I just—" His voice was hoarse, and he cleared his throat. "I was too close, I needed—"

Lily put a finger over his lips, then set to cleaning him up in a role-reversal that she didn't think was lost on either of them. "Didn't you just tell me to get what I needed?"

He smiled, something still shy, his voice almost hesitant as he said, "Yeah, but you're—that's different—I don't want you to think I—that I wouldn't want—or that I didn't like—"

Lily arched her brows at him, tilted her head as she teasingly appraised him. "What's this? James Potter getting shy?"

James rolled his eyes as he pulled his waistband back up and sat straighter in his chair, but his tone was serious when he said quietly, "I've just—I've never done that."

Lily sat back in his lap, sideways this time, and looked at him skeptically. "I thought we came in here for old school fifth-year shit?"

He smiled softly but shook his head, spoke in halting sentences as his flush deepened slightly. "I didn't mean about you. I meant—getting myself. Like that. I've never, you know. Done that…in front of someone."

Lily's mouth fell open in a wide smile, and though a part of her really wanted to gloat and take the mickey out of him over still having something to be done for the first time after all of the raunchy escapades she'd heard about him doing, the look on his face just then stopped her in her tracks. It was so open, so sincere, so…vulnerable. Like he was afraid of what she thought. And in a rush, she remembered that though he had gloated over her orgasm confession, it had been in an elated way, and his questioning hadn't been to take the mickey out of her but to stroke his own ego at being dead chuffed about it. And just now, when he'd learned she'd never been on top, when she'd revealed not fully understanding her own climax, he hadn't teased her at all, but had just immediately set to showing her.

So she bit back the tease that was on the tip of her tongue and said instead, "I liked it."

"You—you did?"

Lily smirked, leaned down until her lips hovered right over his, and gave him the ego stroke she thought he needed. "Potter, in case it isn't blatantly obvious, I'm obsessed with watching you come, and that just then was one of the hottest things I've ever seen."

A true crinkle-eyed grin split across his face at that, and he kissed her, something sweet, while he hugged her around her middle. "Maybe," he started between kisses, "we should—go old school—more often."

Lily broke away, giggling, and rolled her eyes. "Because you'll want to stick to just going old school when my period's over?"

He chuckled. "You know me so well, Evans."

Lily smiled at him, feeling slightly bashful but emboldened at the same time. "They are monthly things, you know. Periods."

James caught on that time. "Then maybe we should make going old school a monthly thing."

Lily met his gaze, heat swirling in her stomach. "Maybe."

xxx

Her friends could totally tell.

"So, Lil," Marlene said far too casually as she held up a set of burgundy robes first against herself, and then in front of Lily. "You sure have been glowing lately."

Lily flushed and took the hanger from Marlene's hands so she could turn away under the pretense of looking in the mirror. "Oh?"

Marlene showed up next to her, a devilish smirk on her face. "The only question is, is it because of the broody and beautiful bloke you're about to have a Butterbeer with in a bit, or is it maybe because of a certain fit, charming, handsome, bespectacled friend of ours whom you can't take your eyes off of in class?"

Mary chimed in, "And with whom you've seemed to stop rowing?"

Lily's blush deepened, and Marlene's brows popped up on her forehead.

"You know, I already have so much burgundy." Lily spun and put the robes back on the rack, catching Mary's eye in the process.

"You can admit you like him, Lil. We haven't forgotten."

Ugh, that damn book. And that damn alcohol. Of all the things she could have blabbed about while sloshed at the World Cup, why did she have to spill about her attraction to James?

"We're—it's—"

Marlene and Mary were both looking at her expectantly. Lily couldn't pinpoint why exactly she didn't want to tell them, because she'd always confided in them about boys before, but something just didn't feel right about telling them what was going on. Not yet.

"I'm…trying to figure it out."

Which she supposed was truthful, in its own way. That's what The Plan was for, after all. She felt crazed for him, yet also like she barely knew him. She had gotten very intimate with him, yet still felt nervous at the idea of talking to him. Somehow, their sexual connection had taken off faster than the latest racing broom, while the rest of their daily interactions still felt new, crawling, tentative. Delicate. Lately, really since they'd first had sex, thoughts that she normally ignored had begun creeping to the forefront of her mind as she lie awake at night. Thoughts about how this…connection felt different than anything she'd ever felt. About how even though she didn't feel ready to do something like publicly date him, she suddenly felt bonded to him, like that partnership imposed by their badges had deepened after she'd dueled by his side and he'd taken care of her and they'd ma—

No. Oh, no no no. Had she really been about to think that phrase? That thing old people said to be polite and not say words like sex and shagging? The cringiest, cheesiest of euphemisms?

Ugh, she had. She had been about to think, made love by the fire. She was too dumbfounded to even think. What was happening?

"Hey, Lil." Dahlia's voice was soft at her side, jolting Lily out of her thoughts. "I'm going to try these on, mind helping me zip up?"

Marlene and Mary hastily busied themselves in nonsensical conversation over a section of jumpers, and Lily accepted Dahlia's ruse, saying, "Sure, let's go."

In the dressing room in the back, Dahlia motioned for Lily to follow her, pulling the curtain shut behind them. Lily knew she shouldn't be nervous—this was Dahlia, whom she'd lived with, been friends with, for six years—but her pulse quickened all the same.

Dahlia gave her a knowing smile. "I can tell you like James."

There was suddenly a massive lump in Lily's throat.

"And I can tell he's mad about you, too."

Lily swallowed hard.

"And I—I want you to know that you don't have to feel awkward around me."

Lily hadn't expected that. She wasn't entirely sure what to say. Dahlia gave her a soft smile. "James is a great guy, Lil. You don't have to feel weird or embarrassed about liking him now. He's grown up. And I feel really lucky to have him as a friend."

Lily nodded, her mouth suddenly dry. She had seen it since they'd been back at school: James not just doing an occasional great thing, but actually being a great person. Like that really was who he was.

Dahlia went on, "But he is just a friend. We had fun together, and we had chemistry, sure, but it was never romantic with us, Lily."

James's words from the night before rang through her mind. Never have I ever…been in love with anyone I've dated. Would Dahlia feel the same way?

Dahlia reached out, grabbed her hand. "Are we okay?"

Lily squeezed her hand, feeling a new rush of admiration for Dahlia, who had not only sensed Lily's awkwardness around her but had plucked up the courage to talk to her when Lily had retreated like a cowardly lion.

"Yeah, Dahl. I'm sorry I—I don't know—acted weird—"

Dahlia shook her head, smiling. "You have nothing to apologize for, Lily."

Lily bit her lip, then nodded. "Thank you."

Dahlia tugged her hand. "Now come on, you have a friend date to get over with so you can hang out with the boy you really like."

JAMES

He wasn't exactly sure why he was torturing himself, but when the Gryffindor crowd began gathering in The Three Broomsticks, he and Sirius pushed together a couple of tables that had a clear line of vision to another table where Garrytt and Lily just happened to be sitting, and then James sat in a chair that would allow him to cast glances over at Garrytt and Lily while also being able to quickly look away if needed. He knew Sirius (who had walked in on the broom closet and seen the hickey) and Remus (whom James had started to tell about hooking up with Lily, but before her attack and so before they'd had sex) had both picked up on his ruse, but then, to his surprise, they both seemed as interested in it as he was, so while Peter, Ludo, Kingsley, and a couple other sixth-year boys struck up conversation at one end of their long make-shift table, he, Remus, and Sirius took to carrying on small talk while covertly watching and commentating on Lily's date.

It was quite possibly the strangest Hogsmeade Saturday he'd ever spent. Lily was gorgeous as ever, wearing those jeans that made her arse look even more perfect and the same burgundy knit she'd worn on the Hogwarts Express that hugged everything in all the right places, and she had worn her hair down, in cascading waves that she pulled over one shoulder. To James's great annoyance, his little comment at Slughorn's dinner party did not seem to be detracting from the mood between her and Garrytt, as they chatted animatedly and Lily smiled and Garrytt looked more expressive and talkative than James had ever seen him in all six years of going to that school, and Lily laughed, her whole face lighting up as her eyes squinted and her white teeth flashed, and the only consolation James got was that Garrytt seemed to be trying to lean over the table, bracing over crossed elbows, whereas Lily leaned as far back in her chair as she could go, back straight, leg crossed.

Sirius slurped his Butterbeer and muttered, "What'd she call it again? A mate date?"

James shrugged, swirling his own pint. "A friend date, but same difference."

"Eh, I like mate date."

"I don't like either of them."

Remus turned to James and said quietly, "Maybe you two should go on a mate date."

James quirked a brow. "I don't want to be just her mate, Moony."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Well, neither does Ollivander, but look what he's doing."

James pinched his eyes under his glasses. "We sort of, er…"

Sirius and Remus both looked at him sharply, but just then the girls showed up in a flurry of squeals and bags and hellos and chatter, and Marlene was leaning over to give Remus and upside-down kiss, and Mary was ruffling Sirius's hair and asking where her drink was, and Dahlia was scraping up a chair next to James. Her eyes were glittering as she sat down, and she leaned in to his ear, throwing up a hand to cover her mouth, as she whispered, "I talked to Lily a little bit today."

James looked over at her. "You did?"

Dahlia nodded. "Mhmm. Consider me your wing-woman."

He grinned bashfully at her. "Thanks, Dahl."

Dahlia gave him a pointed look. "James, this might be your shot."

James just stared at her. He and Dahlia had never really talked about Lily, as he'd always been determinedly avoiding everything to do with Lily while he was with her.

"How—"

Dahlia inclined her head, eyes still twinkling. "James. For as long as I've known you, you've fancied Lily Evans."

James's stomach gave an uncomfortable little lurch. "Well—"

But Dahlia was shaking her head, putting her hand on his arm. "It's okay. You're one of my best friends, James. You think I couldn't tell you were trying to get over her last year?"

He sighed, at a loss for how to respond to that. "I—are you—"

Dahlia cut over him. "It's okay. Are you forgetting how we started in the first place?"

Comprehension dawned. He had forgotten. The Ravenclaw match. The aftermath that had followed.

He hadn't been the only one trying to forget someone.

Dahlia smiled softly. "I think we both needed to turn off our feelings for awhile, yeah?"

James felt a sudden surge of affection for Dahlia. She just got it. Got him. As well as Sirius or Remus or Mary did, but with some extra quality that James suspected was unique to the fact that he and Dahlia had spent more than six months shagging. And not only did she get it, but she had somehow managed to put into words exactly how he felt. They had gotten their start trying to numb, and they had somehow miraculously come out the other side as confidants ready not to be numb anymore. Looking back, Dahlia had been such a balm, a needed distraction from all the drama, a bridge to a more mature version of himself. And he found he was deeply moved as he considered for the first time that he might have been exactly that for her, too.

Dahlia's eyes twinkled as she went on, "But now we've turned them back on, and the object of yours is over there, hanging out with a bloke she doesn't fancy, and very much looking forward to when she can rejoin all of her other friends and be around the bloke she does."

James swallowed hard. "Did she—say anything? About me?"

Dahlia shook her head. "No, but she didn't need to. Gods, her face, James." Dahlia lowered her voice, threw her hand back up to cover her mouth as she leaned in towards his ear. "She looked like a girl who'd been laid and loved every second."

James didn't even try to stop the grin that split across his face as he raised his pint to his mouth.

Dahlia elbowed him lightly in the ribs, giggling as she whispered, "I fucking knew it, you both have looked far too love-sick lately."

James tilted his head toward her ear. "Don't say anything, yeah? We're sort of…figuring it out."

Dahlia grinned at him. "Funny, that's exactly what she said."

Lily had been with Garrytt for at least an hour, so James assumed their catch-up would be nearing its end, and with a new spring in his step that hadn't been there before Dahlia arrived, James got up and headed up to the bar.

It was prime Saturday happy hour, and Rosmerta was flooded. She waved at James when she saw him, cheeks pink. "Hiya, love. I've missed your face."

"Missed you too, Ros."

She was preparing someone else's cocktail, but she flashed him a smile. "'S your last year, yeah? Blimey, I can't believe it."

James leaned on his elbows over the bar. "Yeah, me either. You been well?"

She pushed the drink into hands a few paces away, then turned to her next order. "Oh, yeah, been gettin' on, business is fab. I've still got a few people ahead of ya, love, but what'll ya be wantin'?"

"No worries, Ros, just another round of your mead for the lads and another raspberry fizz for Marly."

Rosmerta nodded as she poured a pint of ale for someone else. "You got it, Jamesie."

As always, James was amazed by her ability to simultaneously prepare drinks, take new orders, remember said orders, and still carry on conversations as she went. How did women do that?

"Hey, Potter."

James turned his head sharply, not expecting the honeyed voice that spoke quietly from right next to him.

"Ollivander."

Rosmerta had noticed Garrytt step up. "What're ya havin', love?"

"Another whisky-sour, Rosie."

"Right you are, just a 'mo."

Garrytt angled his body towards James. "Listen, about dinner the other night."

This couldn't be good. Garrytt glanced around them, but clearly no one within their vicinity caused him any concern, because he turned his dark eyes back on James, hesitating only a brief moment before he said quietly, "I wanted to ask you. Are you and Lily…"

James's stomach twisted in a knot, a sudden wave of nerves hitting him out of nowhere. Garrytt was approaching him? Had he already asked Lily and was just comparing notes? Or, the more likely scenario, was he asking James because with Lily he had just pretended like that dinner party moment hadn't happened?

He pushed off his elbows slowly, drawing himself up to full height next to Garrytt, who wasn't quite as tall but had the hair to make up for it. Though he wanted nothing more than to shove his in-the-works-relationship with Lily in Garrytt's face, he and Lily had forgotten to address one very important term of The Plan: whether they were telling anyone about it. And, as he tended to read Lily pretty well, he figured from The Conversation and the fact that she had remained tight-lipped with the girls that she was probably wanting to keep their not-dating dating-thing between themselves.

James feigned a blank look. "We're friends. We work together."

Garrytt was studying him. "So if anything…happened. It's in the past?"

James bit his lip. Damn. Garrytt was just about as forward as James was. He decided to fish back on his own. "You're the one that just had a date with her."

Garrytt just continued giving him that broody look (were girls really into that?), but he didn't deny it was a date, and the knot in James's stomach tightened.

Just then, the sixth-year trifecta appeared next to them at the bar in a barrage of shrieking laughter, Adelaide with her arm around Dorcas, and Drucilla on Adelaide's other side.

"Hey, boys," Adelaide crooned, and James could tell immediately that she was drunk.

Dorcas gave James an apologetic look from underneath Adelaide's arm, and James winked back to let her know he understood. They had done this routine many-a-time last fall and again this past summer, as Adelaide had a tendency to drink too much and eat too little.

He turned back to the bar, leaning over the counter. "Hey, Ros—add a basket of chips to my order for Ladie, will you?"

Rosmerta gave him a relieved smiled.

A low, throaty voice was now where Garrytt previously was. "Nice of you. James."

He turned to see Drucilla standing next to him, in that pose girls did with their arms crossed and a hip popped out. He wanted to throttle her for her part in putting a legitimate tail on Lily, but since they were in a very public place, he decided to play nice.

"Yeah, well. Gotta look out for my prefects."

She gave him a flirty smile. "When you remember them?"

He chuckled softly. "Yeah. Doesn't look like you need any chips, though. Dru."

She bit her lip, trying not to smile. "Maybe I could use some help with something…else?"

He raised his brows, playing along. "And what's that?"

Drucilla moved slightly closer to him, looked up at him under her lashes. "Meet me later and I'll tell you."

Never mind, he was done playing nice.

"Nah, I don't think so." He met her gaze, dropped his voice. "You should probably just ask your boy Dolohov, yeah?"

Her eyes flitted between his, the merest hint of a flush raising around her neck. "He's not my boy."

"Neither am I."

"Ay, Jamesie, you're up, love, I've got…"

James turned from Drucilla's stony face to Rosmerta, pulling a few coins from his pocket and leaving her a generous tip, and then he pushed the basket of chips down toward Adelaide, exchanging a knowing look with Dorcas, who immediately tried feeding her one, and then somehow maneuvered the drinks between his hands and made his way back toward the Gryffindor crowd, which had somewhat gregariously taken over that whole area of the pub.

He didn't avoid Lily, per se, but he kept his distance, seeing her deep in conversation with Remus and Marlene, and letting himself get pulled into Quidditch talk with Kingsley and Mary, and thinking that he would let her come to him, or that they'd be bound to end up near each other eventually. And far sooner than he anticipated, several events happened in quick succession: Dorcas brought a swaying Adelaide back to the Gryffindors, along with the basket of nibbled chips, Peter picked a fast-paced song on the magicked jukebox in the corner, Sirius started deftly rolling a joint at the table, Ludo walked up with a tray full of Firewhisky shots for everyone, Adelaide climbed on the table to dance, and then one of her flying limbs upset the tray of Firewhisky shots, sending whisky splashing and shot glasses shattering, and some of the whisky splashed onto Sirius right as he was lighting his joint with his wand, and suddenly the table was on fire.

There was a scramble of yelling, pulling, Aguamenti-ing, and then crying, as Adelaide was now inconsolably upset over having spilled all of Ludo's shots, and Dorcas and Marlene tried to console her, and Remus and Peter set to putting back the table, and Kingsley left to get replacement shots, and Mary was chastising Sirius for trying to smoke inside, and then suddenly Lily was in front of him, tossing her hair over her shoulder—forever one of the most magnificent sights he'd ever seen; he could practically replay it in slow motion in his brain—and throwing him a scathingly annoyed look as she said, "Potter, a word," before pushing through the back door to the alley behind the pub. James let out a long breath as he ran a hand through his hair, cast a backwards glance at his friends and their classmates that had been lingering around the scene, and then followed her through the door.

She had made it several paces away and was leaning along a stretch of stone wall behind a tower of Rosmerta's delivery crates. He braced himself for a row as he approached her. Had she seen him and his friends basically watching her whole date? Had she enjoyed Garrytt's company so much she had changed her mind? Had the scene with Adelaide somehow set her off?

But then she saw him, and she grinned.

"Er—what's up?"

Lily reached out a hand for him. "Get over here."

He vaguely comprehended that that should have made him move faster, but instead he only moved slower as he drifted up to her.

"What—"

But she had grabbed a fistful of his shirt and was pulling him towards her as she reached up on tiptoes for him, and he had enough sense not to question that and to just lean down the rest of the way and kiss her.

Her lips were eager, her tongue insistent, her hands grabby, and James was bewildered beyond belief in trying to figure out what exactly he had done or said to warrant such an enthusiastic greeting.

"Evans—hold on—what—"

"Everyone's—occupied—had to get you—alone."

He pulled back from her, catching her face in his hands, saw her eyes shining, her cheeks pink. She had probably drank enough to be slightly tipsy, but she was most definitely in control. She just…wanted him.

That familiar swooping sensation rushed through his whole body. Lily Evans wanted him. Lily Evans. She hadn't changed her mind from The Conversation, like he'd spent nearly every waking moment worrying she would. She hadn't been embarrassed or put off by what had happened between them the night before, like he'd spent nearly all day worrying she had been. She hadn't enjoyed hanging out with another bloke so much she'd given him up already, like he'd spent the whole past hour worrying she did.

She had faked a row just to get him alone. To snog him. In the middle of Hogsmeade.

He wasn't sure his ego could take it.

Lily was smirking at him, pulling him closer. "What'd you think about my mate date, Potter?"

His mouth fell open. "You—how—"

She reached up for his neck, brushed her lips right against his pulse. "Might have seen you all staring. Might have overheard Sirius after."

Thank fuck she couldn't see how much he was blushing just then. He forced the words out: "You seemed like you were having fun."

She broke away from his neck to look up at him. "I was having fun. With my friend."

And then she reached down and pressed her hand over his jeans where he was already stupidly hard for her, smiling wickedly up at him as she went on, "And now I'm reminding the boy I like that I like him so he'll stop looking like a lost puppy around all our friends."

James swallowed hard. His mind was racing. She noticed that? She understood him well enough to know exactly what he'd been feeling insecure over and know how to reassure him? Also, she really did like him? Enough to just casually call him the boy I like?

She was perfect. In every way possible under the sun. He would never be convinced otherwise.

Lily wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him tighter against her as she rubbed his length through his jeans, and James groaned, his eyes closing fleetingly as the sensation refocused his thoughts on his very visible, very throbbing, need for her.

"Evans—fuck."

"Our row's probably over by now, don't you think?"

His eyes snapped open. "Don't you fucking dare, Evans. Don't you fucking dare tease me like that."

She bit her lip, her eyes glinting mischievously at him. "Or what, Potter?"

Or he would implode? Declare his love for her? Go back inside and break Garrytt Ollivander's face out of sheer sexual frustration?

He breathed hard through his nose. "Evans—"

Lily pulled them deeper into the nook of the stone wall and the tower of crates, her left arm still tight around his waist, lining up the side of their bodies as if they were dancing, and then her other hand went to his button and fly and James understood; she was positioning them—shielding them. His heart started hammering in anticipation. She was actually going to do this.

Fuck, he loved this girl.

Bracing one hand on the stone wall, wrapping the other around her shoulders, completing the shield of their lined-up side, he angled his torso so his shirt hung forward over the front of his jeans, giving her space to pull down his zipper and take him in her grasp while keeping that particular activity hidden from sight.

"Tell me what you want, Potter."

Who was she and what had she done with Lily Evans?

She gave him a teasing squeeze.

Never mind, he didn't care, this Lily Evans was perfect and should certainly stay.

He lowered his voice, barely more than a whisper. "Jerk me off, right fucking now."

Her eyebrows raised.

"Fuck, please."

She smiled, something wicked as she bit her lip, and then she did. She didn't waste any time, going straight to the kind of stroke he'd showed her that night on the common room sofa, and soon her hand was slippery with all the moisture she'd gathered from the tip of him, and her thumb was swirling over his head as she tugged, and she kept her other arm wrapped firmly around his waist, her fingers splaying at his back, keeping them shielded, and even better than all of that, she tilted her head up towards his ear and whispered to him, like he usually did to her.

"You know I can't get enough of watching you—your face—you're so fucking hot, Potter, I don't get it, what you do to me, but I just fucking want you all the time. You kept staring at me all afternoon and I had to focus so fucking hard on not getting distracted because just seeing you made me think about last night and I was getting so wet—"

That almost undid him, and he released a string of hissed swear words into her hair.

"I need to watch you come, Potter."

He was tensing, could feel his abdominals contracting, his pressure building already just from being so worked up from her all the fucking time and hearing her say all those fucking sexy things.

She nuzzled into his neck, made a throaty little sound, and he didn't even care that she could just do that on purpose because it worked and he was suddenly there—

"Do that again. Now, Evans."

He could sense her smiling, but she acquiesced, made another throaty little sound as she pumped him even harder. His eyes were squinting shut, his fingers scrabbling at the wall where he braced himself, his other hand squeezing whatever part of Lily he could grab.

"Fuck, you're huge, James, you're right there. Come on. Let me watch you. J, come—"

"Oi, Pro—"

James's head whipped over his shoulder, saw Sirius standing there with his mouth open, holding his bottle of mead in one hand and a partially smoked joint in the other, and James didn't even have time to think, or comprehend anything, he only threw up a hand, holding up a finger, the strangest wait a sec he could have ever imagined, because he was coming, hard, and Lily's hand was closing over him, catching it all in her palm as her other arm squeezed even tighter around him, like she was trying to help him stay steady as his knees threatened to give out and his hips jerked involuntarily into her hand and he pressed his mouth against the top of her hair, muffling his groans as his face scrunched. He kept bracing against the wall, holding onto Lily, needing to lean on her to stay upright as he tried to focus on his breath, deep and slow, and recover from the waves of climax that had just crashed over him. He couldn't see Lily's face, didn't know if Sirius was still there, vaguely wondered whether everyone inside The Three Broomsticks had gathered behind him by that point, but then Lily's voice, something gentle, broke him from his thoughts.

"James. You alright?"

He looked down at her, saw her eyes glittering. His voice was raspy when he answered, "Yeah, just—fuck, Lil."

She nodded, then looked beyond James and asked, "Keep guarding us, will you?"

"You got it, Swish."

Oh yeah. Sirius. James looked back over his shoulder, caught Sirius's eye. His friend winked and returned to his post as lookout, and James turned back to Lily, who had pulled out her wand and was vanishing his release from all over her hand. She cleaned him up too, and he tucked himself away, then pulled her close to him, pressing his lips against her forehead.

"If you can stop being cute for a second…"

Sirius wandered up to them, looking between them with an amused expression on his face, and he clapped James on the shoulder, though he had the sense to keep his voice down.

"Prongs, I—I have no words. But I think we just took our friendship to the next level, because I just saw you get jacked off behind The Three Broomsticks. Like, what the fuck?"

Sirius looked bewildered, but then incredulously impressed as he turned his attention to Lily. "And you. Damn, Swish. Either you have heretofore unknown powers, or you've just turned him into a fucking sap, because that was a fast fucking handy."

James ducked his face into his hand, feeling the flush rising around his cheeks.

Sirius now wrapped arms around them both, pulling them into a group hug. "I sorta feel like we had a threesome. Just me?"

Lily swatted Sirius in the stomach, and he laughed as he flinched away from her.

"Pads—"

Sirius turned his gray eyes back on James, a rare look of sincerity passing over his usually haughty features, but then his face cracked into a grin and he said, "Yeah, I know, Prongs. I won't tell anyone I just saw you come all over your dream girl—don't blush, Evans, you know it's true—in a fucking alley."

James thought his face was surely burning. "Fuck, Pads."

Sirius was laughing, jostling James's shoulder, and even though James was somewhere between mortified and shocked, he found himself laughing along with him, and soon Lily was laughing, dabbing her eyes as she watched the two of them, and then the three of them were just stuck in a laughing fit and they only made their way back inside when Mary came out, hands on her hips, wondering why her friends had all disappeared into the alley, and Sirius, still laughing, looped an arm around her shoulders and said, not bothering to keep his voice down, "I was just trying to convince them they'd rather be shagging than rowing, and you know, I think I might've made some progress…"

James met Lily's eye, and she flashed him a sly smile, and they fell in step behind their friends, following them back into the pub.

xxx

James was living in a dream. Perhaps had fallen into some hallucinogenic state. Maybe was really lying in the Hospital Wing with a raging fever. Nothing else explained how impossibly perfect life suddenly was.

Because Lily had sat by him in the common room when they all spent hours drinking more mead and playing cards after making the trek from The Three Broomsticks back to Gryffindor Tower. And then she had snuck up to his dormitory with him when everyone still downstairs was too drunk to notice, and he didn't even care that she was already gone, snuck back to her room, when he woke up in the morning because he had the memory of cuddling with her just before he fell asleep.

And then she chatted with him at mealtimes. And stood by him in Defense. And joked with him and Sirius during Transfiguration. And walked with him down the corridor between classes. And suddenly, it felt like the entire dynamic between him and Lily had changed. Like a wall had come down. (Or maybe several walls.) Like they had always interacted like this, as normal as breathing, as lighthearted as joking around with Mary or Sirius or Remus.

And all of that was capped off on Wednesday afternoon, when he got back from Herbology, covered in dirt and ash from repotting fire seed bushes, and saw a note on his bed.

You said to find you?

A grin split across his face as he immediately thought back to their night in the abandoned classroom after their Astronomy Tower stake-out.

It was time for Secret Date #1.

James formulated the plan in the shower, shared only necessary details with the lads, and then whiled away time in his dorm, not going to the Head's Office where he could see she was, and then even skipping dinner so he wouldn't see her, sending off his friends armed with the excuse that some Quidditch Captain stuff had come up that he was dealing with, and he'd be back when it was sorted. As soon as he could see from the map that their friends had cleared a few floors and that the common room and the girls' dormitory were both empty for dinner, he flew up to the girls' room (like, had the founders not flown? Because really, what good was a staircase that turned into a slide when there were these things called broomsticks?), picked out her bed from the Muggle photo of her parents on the nightstand and Pan purring near her pillow, and left the invisibility cloak, the map (wiped blank—he was confident she'd remember), and a return note on the back of hers.

I did. Come find me.

And then, after returning his broomstick to his own room, he jogged down the stairs of the elf passages, had a brief hang and his own quick dinner with some of his favorite house-elves, including Wemby, and then slipped out of the castle with a couple of tartan blankets in tow, courtesy of the house-elves' stash of linens.

He picked a spot by the lake that he and Dahlia had actually found, and that had become their go-to outdoor locale for its seclusion and obscurity; in all the times they had gone there, they had never once been interrupted, nor even heard anyone in their general vicinity. It was on the opposite side of the sloping lawn where students usually gathered, far behind the vegetable patches, in the little area where the lake's edge blended with the Forbidden Forest. The way the lake curved, there was a small patch not far from the water's edge, bordered by trees and thick shrubbery, that allowed a view out over the lake while blocking that spot from the opposite bank's line of vision.

Perfect, in other words, for some time alone by the lake without being spotted from afar.

James spread out the blankets, laid on his back with his hands laced behind his head, mapped constellations to keep his mind busy, and waited.

His stag-attuned ears alerted him to her footsteps several seconds before she revealed herself. She was still in her school clothes, as was he, and her hair was pulled into a low, messy ponytail that day. She was already smiling at him, the thrill of the note and the scavenger hunt written all over her face.

She dropped the cloak near the edge of the blanket along with the map and her wand, and sat down next to him. He pulled himself up, resting his weight on his palm, and took in her curious expression, her eyes shining through the dark.

"Hey, Evans."

She smirked. "Hey, Potter."

"You remembered how to use the map."

She rolled her eyes. "As if I could ever forget something as ridiculous as that incantation."

He chuckled and reached a hand up to her face, pushing an escaped strand of hair behind her ear. "I haven't shown you how to clear it, have I?"

She shook her head. "Let me guess, I have momentarily finished wreaking havoc?"

James laughed in earnest at that, his head falling back as his chest shook. "Fuck, Evans, that's good. Really good. Might need to consider changing it. But no, it's mischief managed."

Lily giggled and rolled her eyes. "You boys are unbelievable, you know that?"

"We're pretty clever, yeah."

She calmed down from her laughter and something in her face just then was almost…shy. Vaguely, James realized this was the first time they had met up intentionally to have sex. Every other time they'd done anything had happened after they were already together, had already been around each other for something else.

He leaned in closer. "So I haven't kissed you since Saturday."

She bit her lip, shook her head. "Nope."

"That's too many days, Evans."

He could tell she was blushing, and he didn't give her time to respond before he pressed his lips against hers, felt her kiss him back, and soon he was pulling her back down to the ground with him, hands threading in her hair as she leaned over him, tongue tracing his lips, her own hand running over his chest, starting to deftly unbutton his shirt. James sighed, something like a soft groan escaping him as he felt the touch of her skin on his, her hand now sliding down his stomach, down towards his hips, down even more to where he was straining in his trousers.

"Evans." He broke away from her mouth, hissing as she squeezed. "You need to get on me."

She lifted up from his face and straddled him, nestling perfectly over him in a way that made all his blood instantly surge south, if it wasn't there already. "Is that so?"

He closed his eyes fleetingly. "Fuck, Evans. You already feel good."

She chuckled, unbuttoning her own shirt to show him a satin bra, nearly the color of her skin, edged in delicate lace and pushing up her breasts to the most perfect rounded cleavage he'd ever seen. Her skin was so pale it almost glittered in the moonlight, and he saw the soft ridges of the bottom of her ribs peeking out over the edge of her skirt where it rode up from sitting on him.

He was getting close just looking at her.

"Lily—"

She just cocked a brow, then traced her finger down the middle of his chest, through the center of his abs, down the sides of his obliques. Her eyes snapped back up to his, a sly smile on her face.

"You know, I think your abs are the best, Potter."

Heat swirled in his stomach, pleasure purring in his chest. Lily Evans was into him. Lily Evans. He didn't think that would ever get old, or any less surprising.

"I think you're just the best at everything."

She gave him a skeptical look. He didn't even mean it as a line, he just genuinely meant it.

"I'm serious. You're incredible. You look—fucking incredible."

With a grin that was somehow mischievous but also slightly shy, Lily scooted back just enough to undo his belt and fly, and he lifted his hips for her to shimmy down his trousers and briefs. She touched him lightly, trailing soft fingertips up his length, and he instinctively pressed his hips toward her hand, already far too aroused even though she'd barely touched him.

Lily stood on her knees, shifted a few paces closer so she was hovering over him, and then reached for his hand and pressed it to her leg. "Touch me."

Fuck. He slid his hand up her leg, sought the edge of her knickers, and froze. Because there weren't any. His mouth fell open. Lily's smile was wicked. Fuck fuck fuck.

"Lily—"

She quirked a brow. "Makes it easier, no?"

He swiped his fingers around her entrance as his answer, his chest purring as he watched her eyes drop shut and mouth fall slightly at the contact. She was wet, and he had only had his fingers in her for a few moments before she squirmed and pulled at his forearm, saying, "Fuck, I can't wait."

And before his brain really had time to catch up, what with her breasts looking like that and her hair falling around her face in that way, she was sliding down him, taking him fully inside, and jolts of pleasure were zinging through his body at the contact, the slippery resistance, the sudden heat. She gasped, eyes wide, as she adjusted to him, and he slid his hands up her thighs to hold onto her hips, flashing her a smile.

"How do I feel this way?"

Her voice was breathless. "Incredible. Fuck."

She started to move against him, tentatively at first, and he thrust up gently to meet her as he let his eyes drift closed. "Find what you like, Evans."

Her breath was shallow, her hands resting lightly against his chest. "What do you like?"

He licked his lips, reached for her hands, threaded their fingers together, then met her gaze. "Everything."

It didn't take Lily long to find her rhythm, and she was making soft mewling noises, squeezing his hands tightly in hers, and then, without warning, she clenched around him on her next upward stroke, sending dizzying bursts of pleasure through his veins. James hastily bit his lip to stifle his own groan.

"Fuck, Lily."

She smiled down at him, and suddenly the sight of her was overwhelming, the deja vu too strong. Lily Evans was astride him, riding him, her head tipping back against the backdrop of a starry night sky as she sighed in pleasure, her breasts more perfect in real life than he'd ever imagined, and he was consumed with her heat and her slipperiness and those throaty little noises, and then she clenched around him again and all of a sudden he realized that even though they'd barely gotten started in earnest, he was there—

His whisper was urgent, heated. "Lily—"

She purred back, "Gods, you feel so good, James."

Fuck. She was going to start saying things like that? Now?

"Wait—"

"Hmm?" She plunged down over him again.

"I'm too—fuck—"

Another one of those throaty little noises, this time followed by a sighed, "James."

"Lily wait—I'm—"

She must have recognized the edge in his voice that time, because her eyes snapped open, wide in surprise. He bit his lip, trying to distract himself, trying to course-correct, trying to bring himself back down, but nothing was working, and she was still sliding over him, and suddenly he knew there was no turning back, and maybe she did too, and maybe that was why she chose to slide up the slowest she had yet, clenching all the way like she was trying to pull his orgasm out of him, looking straight in his eyes with that look, something like mischief but also like affection, and then he was coming, shuddering, bucking up against her as she slid back down, taking him deep before giving him a few quick thrusts as he came, and if he wasn't already seeing stars, he did then, shattering into a thousand pieces, and, still clasping her hands, eyes still closed, he laid his head back on the blanket, letting the tension from being curled up in climax drop from his shoulders, feeling like a fifteen-year-old who had just gotten touched for the first time.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, his voice now the one that was breathless. "I'm sorry. I don't know—what just happened. I just—you felt amazing, and all of a sudden—"

Lily released one of his hands to put a finger to his lips. "Shh. I take it as the highest compliment that you barely lasted a minute with me on top of you."

James rarely blushed, but he did just then, bringing his hands to his face and rubbing his eyes under his glasses as he chuckled. "Fuck."

He looked back up at her, her face a picture of amusement. "Do you have any idea how fucking embarrassing this is? Evans—I just came faster than I did the first time I got a blowjob, and let me tell you, that was fucking fast."

Lily snorted into bubbling laughter, immediately slapping a hand to her mouth, and the sensation of her body shaking like that reminded him that he was still inside her, and even though he was laughing with her, he pushed against her hips gently, saying, "I need you to get off for a bit," and she complied, sliding off of him and sitting back on her palms next to him, her head tilting back in giggles.

James laid back down on his back, pulled his feet flat on the ground so his knees were up, and rubbed his face again. "Merlin, fuck, Evans."

She reached over and patted his chest playfully. "It's okay, Potter. We'll get up to two minutes next time."

James's mouth dropped open as he looked over at her. "Was that—are you—did you just take the mick about me not being able to last for you?"

Lily raised her eyebrows and shrugged, trying to keep a straight face, but the smile tugging at the side of her mouth gave her away.

She flopped down next to him, propping her head up on her elbow as she said dramatically, "Well, you know, it's just that I hear all these stories about this Quidditch Captain who has this magical dick that can go for hours and get a girl three times and—"

James had never blushed so hard in his life, but he also couldn't stop chuckling, was shaking his head as she talked, waving his hand to get her to stop.

"No, no, those are all wrong—how the real story goes is, there's this Head Boy who, okay, does have a magical dick that can normally go for a decent enough amount of time, but who is rendered completely helpless against the prowess and beauty and amazingness of this Head Girl."

Lily was laughing, and he could tell she was blushing even in the dark. She looked over at him through her lashes, and he reached for her, pulling her head down towards his so he could kiss her, something soft.

When their kiss broke, he held onto her face and said quietly, "I mean it, Evans. I'm—"

He cut himself off, realizing that what he had thought, what he might have accidentally said, the natural ending to that sentence, was I'm in love with you. Lily had gone very still, holding her breath, like she knew how that sentence would normally end, like she was bracing for it, and James's mind raced for something else to say, something just as meaningful but not as potent, and in the milliseconds it took for him to process all of this, he landed on, "I'm mad about you. You know this."

She smiled softly at him. "I do know." She scooted closer; their noses brushed. "And you're starting to drive me a little mad too, you know."

James's stomach turned over, some fluttery feeling taking off in his chest, zinging through his body. "Is that right?"

She nodded, ducking around his mouth. "Mhmm. So mad, that if I were a boy, I might not even last a minute."

James couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face, and he kissed her again, pulling her down so she was partially on top of him, cradling her cheeks in his hands. It wasn't long until their kisses turned from soft and sweet to deep and exploring, and Lily's hand was trailing down over his chest, lingering across his abdomen, tracing muscles, and then sliding lower, and he knew what she'd find, waited for the soft intake of breath as she felt him, hard again for her. Lily pulled back slightly, her fingertips trailing up his length, as she whispered, "Ready for round two?"

James grinned. "Get on me, Evans."

This time, Lily went straight to the rhythm and angle she'd liked before, and this time, James caressed her thighs and hips and breasts without threat of coming immediately undone, and this time he leaned back on his palms for awhile as he watched her chase down her release, obsessed with that look of raw abandon and pleasure on her face, and telling her so, along with other dirty nothings that he knew she liked by how she smiled even when her eyes were closed. And then this time, as he felt her pressure building, he gave into all of those senses he'd lost himself in before, let himself build up with her until he could tell she was getting really close, her muscles starting to contract around him, her whimpers getting more frantic, and he sat up fully against her, sinking hands into the hair around her face, feeling her breasts squished against him, the mixture of soft skin and satin bra and supple heaviness sliding against his chest almost enough to undo him on its own.

She was squirming against him, clawing at shoulders, chest, sides, neck, and fuck she was so wet, and she fit so snug against him, and she kept clenching, and making her throaty little noises—

"James," she whispered. "Fuck, I'm close."

Her green eyes were liquid, her skin almost eerily translucent in the moonlight.

"Me too. Come on, I need to feel you."

Lily's eyes were scrunching but she was biting her lip, like something wasn't quite there, like she needed something.

He kissed the corner of her mouth. "Talk to me."

"Um." She swallowed, breathing hard. "More…pressure, maybe."

James released her face, dropping his hands to slip under her skirt and grab her hips, giving her an extra pull as she moved against him, and a ringing moan escaped her before she clamped her lips on his neck.

"That's it, come on. You're right there, Lil."

He could tell she was zeroing in by how her thrusts became smaller but faster, her muscles contracting more around him now, and he gave her the resistance she needed, holding her tight against him, and her fingers were raking through his hair, her voice in his ear a babbling stream of J, fuck, and J, yes, and he felt her pressure break, her whole body quivering, and he was babbling back, a litany of fuck and Lily and baby and his own yeses and more fucks, and then he came again, finally pulled over by the sensation of her spasms around him.

They kissed, something passionate and deep and not like they had just spent themselves in each other, and then Lily was pulling back, breathing hard, resting her forehead against his as she panted, "Fuck, Potter. What even—"

He smiled, scratching her back lightly under her shirt. "That was all you, Lil."

She raised her eyes to his, like she hardly believed it, and James chuckled. "Have I created a monster?"

She answered with no hesitation. "Yes. I don't understand what you do to me, Potter."

He nuzzled her nose with his. "If it's anywhere close to what you do to me, Evans, then we're in trouble."

She gave him a strange look. "Trouble?"

"Yes. Risk of constant spontaneous combustion. Or just coming in my pants."

She dissolved into giggles again. "Well, at least we know you can pass the two minute mark."

James chuckled. "No promises. Could have been a fluke."

Lily pushed his hair off his forehead, setting James's stomach fluttering at the affection of it, and she studied him for a moment before she said, "We never did get to finish our game the other night."

"I believe it was your turn."

"It was." She bit her lip, a smirk playing on her face, and then said, "Never have I ever had someone get me off behind The Three Broomsticks."

James chewed his cheek. He fucking hated losing. "You minx."

Lily's eyes glittered.

"Is that a challenge?"

She shrugged, but the glint in her eye said it was.

"Does that mean you're going with me? To Hogsmeade?"

Lily pushed his chest playfully. "You can't ask me that yet, it's too soon. We have a Plan, remember?"

"Ah, yes." He cleared his throat. "That. The Plan."

She swatted him again. "Don't make fun, you're the one that came up with it in the first place."

He grinned and pulled her against him, whispering directly in her ear. "Okay, Evans. I won't ask you yet. But I will ask you later, and you're going to say yes, because then I'm going to take you on the best fucking date you've ever had, and we're not going to go anywhere near Madam Puddifut's, and we're going to bring the cloak, and I'm going to push you against the back of The Three Broomsticks and finger you until you can't stand up anymore."

He heard her breath catch in her throat.

"Sound like a plan?"

"It sounds like we're in so much fucking trouble."

James grinned. He rather liked a good dose of healthy trouble. Especially this kind.