A/N: Finally! The last chapter of the Christmas story! I apologize for the delay. Thanks to Dreamthrower for beta-ing, and Merry Christmas to all of you!

From the Bottom of my Heart

When Harry and Severus returned from Godric's Hollow in the afternoon of Boxing Day, they were eagerly awaited by Draco and Hermione. The visit to Lily's and James' grave had taken much longer than expected, considering they had left early in the morning, when everybody else had still been asleep. Remus had taken his leave after breakfast, and Luna had Floo-ed to the Leaky Cauldron to meet with the leader of the expedition to South America she had planned for the summer, leaving Hermione and Draco to their own devices.

She knew she hadn't been the best company. She had been aflutter all day. With just Harry and Severus being together, Hermione feared their past animosity might get the better of them again. They had both been acting civilly with each other for the last couple of days, but with everybody else around, there had always been distractions. Hermione feared that Harry would get pushy, addressing topics Severus was not ready to discuss with him. Not able to recognize snappishness and sarcasm as signs of discomfort, he would probably get angry and righteous again, which Severus would interpret as arrogance. It was their usual pattern, after all. Draco had tried to reassure her by pointing out that Severus wouldn't hurt his godson, which had not been helpful at all, as it wasn't Harry Hermione was mostly concerned about.

Then there was the matter of their kiss last night and the potion induced fantasy she had thoroughly enjoyed afterwards... It had felt every bit as real as Luna had promised – no wonder it sold so well. Knowing that it had been a dream despite its totally un-dream-like quality didn't change the fact that she had truly experienced the emotions: Not only the intimacy, but also the trust, the feeling of utter rightness. What still remained with her, even after the dream had ended, was the feeling of belonging – she was his, and he was hers. It was no longer just wish, a dream or a mere possibility – in was a fact.

It would be confusing when facing her friend and mentor in person later today, but how was it to work out when she had to sit in Professor Snape's class again after the holidays? Especially when considering that he wasn't aware of the change in their relationship status, which was probably totally one-sided. She had no idea if the kiss had changed anything for him.

Knowing him, he might well be regretting it in the light of day. She knew how important his integrity as a teacher was to him, and yet she had all but forced another kiss on him. A row with Harry probably wouldn't help matters along either.

So all in all, Hermione had been awaiting their return with a mixture of anxiousness, confusion, guilt, embarrassment, agitation and – thanks to her dream – a lingering desire. She tried to hide how on edge she was when she and Draco came running down the stairs on hearing the popping of apparition on the doorstep, but had no idea how successful she was.

Severus, had he been asked, would have told her 'not at all'. Not only was her face an open book, but he had become very attuned to her emotional state over the last weeks. He knew she would feel awkward and insecure after their kiss last night. He was also very aware of how nervous she was about his and Potter's interactions, fearing that their past animosity would get the better of them again. Well, this visit had been emotionally taxing, but it hadn't been totally horrible and certainly not the expected disaster. In fact, Severus felt a strange form of contentment that came with not having seen one's worst expectations come true. Like after a meeting with the Dark Lord that had gone over exceptionally well, or a potentially disastrous potion class with Longbottom in attendance that hadn't ended with a major accident.

He and his godson had not been at each other's throat, and he hadn't once felt the urge to hex the boy. Potter had not been altogether intolerable but astonishingly – mature. A welcome development, for sure. The war, it seemed, had made adults out of students he had regarded as children until about a year ago. Though objectively not a reason to rejoice, he couldn't help but welcome the development. Talking with reasonable adults – or even young children, for that matter – was a lot easier than dealing with immature, hormone-driven teenage dunderheads.

Harry, while divesting himself of his coat and boots, hastened to reassure his friends of his physical and mental well-being. Spoilsport. Really, what had they expected to happen? If he had wanted the boy for potion ingredients, he would have used him two years ago, when his patience had been much thinner and his stress levels considerably higher.

Hermione, hugging Harry and probably checking for missing limbs while she was at it, suddenly withdrew, wrinkling her nose. "Is it the excess alcohol from yesterday evening I still smell on your breath, Harry, or have you been drinking again?"

"Well, after we'd been to the cemetery and to the house, we went to a pub," Harry answered a bit sheepishly. "I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything, and we were cold after being out in the rain. I'm fine. And I'm famished, too. Let's see to the left-overs, shall we?" And with that, he proceeded into the kitchen.

When Hermione kept chiding him for day-drinking, Draco intervened. "You make it sound like he was an alcoholic. Give him a break, Granger! Given how late you got up this morning and how out-of-sorts you've been the entire day, you probably were quite hung-over yourself, so you shouldn't be judgy."

Predictably, Hermione protested. "I wasn't drunk!" she said defensively. "And it wasn't me who downed an entire bottle of hang-over potion for breakfast! Honestly, I'm wondering how Harry even managed to get out of bed this morning, given how wasted you both were last night."

Harry shrugged. "I downed an entire bottle of hang-over potion," he dead-panned, making Draco chuckle. Hermione huffed and said no more.

She didn't make an attempt to talk to Severus at all, and looked away quickly whenever their gazes met. Her tell-tale blush made it clear to him that what she meant to hide was embarrassment. Surely it had been the kiss. He had known it would complicate things between them further. Last night, however, he couldn't bring himself to care. She might have been the one to initiate it, but he had been unable to resist. With all the mistletoe and the sexual tension it had been bound to happen – she really needn't feel embarrassment for it.

Still, it was an altogether impossible situation. He found himself rapidly falling for a girl half his age, and worse, who would remain his student for months to come. How on earth this had happened, he had no idea. There had not been a woman who had caught his interest in years. Granted, he had been rather preoccupied, and romance had been about the last thing on his mind. Now however, he had a new lease on life and wasn't yet sure what to do with it, which had made him susceptible to all kinds of harebrained ideas... spending Christmas with Potter, befriending Lupin, re-building a relationship with his family... and seriously considering a relationship with the know-it-all. There was no denying that Hermione had wormed her way into his heart, and it was changing him and their situation in unforeseen ways. If he found this unsettling, surely so must she.

Where were they to go from here? How could they keep this rapidly developing intimacy between them under control? Because they simply had to... he could not afford to let himself lose control like he almost had yesterday. He wondered if he had scared her with his passionate response. She had admitted to being rather inexperienced, and Severus strongly suspected that her short romance with the Weasley boy had only enforced her insecurities. He had really made an effort to hold back, but probably not enough.

Was she fearing that he would push for more, now that he had given in to her again? If so, it was no wonder if she was a bit out of sorts, as Draco had claimed. Her silence and her incapability to look him in the eye was starting to concern him.

"Didn't you sleep well last night?" Severus inquired, trying to test the waters with polite conversation. Interestingly, her cheeks immediately heated up under his scrutinising gaze.

Hermione was afraid to meet his eyes, for fear that with his abilities in Legilimency he would catch a glimpse into her mind even if he didn't make a conscious effort. Her thoughts and emotions were rather loud right now. Seeing him there buttoned-up in his frock coat, every bit her stern, unapproachable teacher, brought back the images of her dream full-force. He had been so strict, stern and authoritative, and deliciously wicked at the same time. God, just thinking about it made her feel aroused again. She swallowed audibly and briefly looked at him. "Yes, Sir, I had a bit of a rough night," she said, before she turned back to her food. "With all the food and the things I drank... it gave me a most vivid dream."

Severus curiously raised his eyebrow at her, wondering how that fit in with his tentative analysis of their situation. And where did the 'Sir' come from?

"Anything you'd like to share?" Draco asked, who had taken a sudden interest in their discussion when noting Hermione's blush. Severus looked at her questioningly. Yes, he'd appreciate some more information on that, too.

Hermione shook her head. "No, I'd rather not. It was somewhat personal." It probably couldn't get any more personal than this secret fantasy of hers... one of the many she would call forth when she went to bed at night. Only she had never made him out as bold and daring as he had been in this potion induced dream. Though she probably would, from now on...

It had been so good... so naughty... and so damned unlikely. As if he'd ever approach her in such a way in detention! But the dream had even solved that inconsistency in her perception of him nicely in the end. She had felt warm and fuzzy when she had woken up. It had almost been like a vision. Oh, how she wished the dream had shown her a glimpse of the future!

Draco's eyebrows mirrored those of his godfather and rose higher. Personal? It was pretty obvious that this could only mean 'rather explicit'.

"Now you're making me really curious, Granger..." Draco said, leaning closer with a twinkle in his eyes. The little bookworm... Who'd have guessed? "It was the kiss, right?" he questioned, which had Hermione confused and slightly panicky. How could he possibly know about that? He had been out cold last night!

Draco grinned, feeling very smug. He had simply taken a shot by mentioning 'the kiss', seemingly talking about the one he had stolen from her under the mistletoe. But her reaction to his taunting had told him all he really wanted to know: So there had been a kiss between her and Severus... her sudden panic and embarrassment had given her away. And she had obviously had naughty dreams about his godfather, too... not that this was a train of thought he wished to pursue. "I knew I was a good kisser..." he offhandedly remarked, helping her save face and hopefully riling Severus up a little. "I told you it did nothing for me, but I'm not surprised it made you dream about me..." He stole a glance at Severus, who didn't seem to know what to make of Hermione's reaction.

"Yes, I admit it, Draco," Hermione confessed with exaggerated drama. "Being near you often gives me wet dreams in which you feature most prominently."

"Really?" Draco raised an eyebrow. "Please, do tell!" What a nice hole she had dug herself there... how was she going to get out of that?

"Well, let me think... There was the one in which you asked me out on a date, and I left you standing in the rain. Some other time – can't remember why – I emptied a bucket of water right over your big head. And once I was so overwrought by something you did – you probably tried to kiss me – I drowned you in the Black Lake... Harry cried a river over you... it was very melodramatic."

"Pity, Granger, if those are the only wet dreams you're ever having... Maybe you need to go out and kiss more."

She certainly would like to kiss more, Hermione thought, avoiding looking at the object of her desire. But unfortunately, Mistletoes were only a short-lived seasonal tradition, and nothing but a strong magic spell would bring him to kiss her again before graduation. Pity indeed. If it wasn't for the stupid marker in the potion which prevented a timely re-use, the elixir would at least have gotten her over the long and dry wait. It had been incredible. She had experienced every sensation most physically – every touch, every kiss, even his scent and his breath on her neck ... It had been hot, mind-blowing, and had felt so real that she had actually orgasmed in her dream. Without waking up. That had never ever happened to her before.

Had the dream drawn on her subconscious? There had been elements in there that clearly were part of her memory... the mishap with her clothes, the recipe for the Wit-Sharpening Potion, the fact that she had gotten distracted in his class and had often daydreamed about him... The dream had even gotten all the details correct – his hands, the shape of his nails... she had kissed his mouth and trailed his cupid bow with her tongue. She had tasted his skin on her lips. Unfortunately, as she had no means to know how he looked without his clothes, the dream had just left them on him, adding a whole other layer of kink to what had happened.

Dear God – how was she ever to set foot in his office or lab again after that? He was still her professor for the next five months – she shouldn't be thinking this intimately about him, and she certainly shouldn't be imagining doing naughty things over his desk!

Hopefully, the after-effects of the dream would fade a bit in the days to come. She'd have to ask Luna about it. It'd be best to lock it firmly into some corner of her mind... at least until she was alone again, in the privacy of her bedroom. She understood the restriction placed on the potion. She'd definitely be tempted to buy as many bottles as available to repeat the experience. But by the time the elixir would work for her again, she hopefully wouldn't have need of it anymore, but have him there for real.

*'*'*'*'*

Severus had no opportunity to talk to Hermione in private again before he had to take his leave. Right after their late lunch, she had all but dragged Harry into the library, doubtlessly with the intention of interrogating him about their visit to Godric's Hollow. By the time they had re-emerged, the Lovegood girl had come back from her meeting with Rolf Scamander, eager to tell them about the plans for her expedition to South America, and Severus thought the moment was as good as any to excuse himself. He was invited to Prince House for dinner with Irma and his aunt this evening, and wanted to freshen up at his own place before he was to Floo there.

It was probably better that way. What could he have said to Hermione? If he had scared her with his intense reaction to her innocent kiss, it might be all for the better... She'd be more careful around him in the future. It would certainly make it easier if they could simply forget about their lapse in judgement and go back to being student and teacher.

Yes, because that worked so well the first time, a voice in his own head supplied sarcastically. Well, he probably wouldn't ever forget about it, but he'd better not dwell on it, either. He would just have to keep his distance, thereby reassuring her that he would continue to respect her and her decisions and not make things any more awkward between them. He certainly could do that. And if she should still feel about him as she claimed she did in a couple of months... well, he could be patient if he chose to be... Until then, there were things to be done – he had a life to reclaim, relationships to re-build and a future career to plan. It was largely her fault if he felt surprisingly optimistic about all of it.

So when it was time for him to say his goodbyes, he found himself able to extend an honest 'Thank you' to Potter for inviting him and providing great food and entertainment, and to Miss Lovegood for her very much appreciated gift. He said his farewell to Draco and Hermione, whom he would see again in just a couple of days back in Hogwarts. He knew nothing else to say to them except wish them fun with whatever they had planned for New Year's Eve. He surely wouldn't tell anyone that he was going to miss them.

Hermione didn't say anything else, either, but at least she seemed to have overcome her embarrassment. She gave him an openly affectionate smile – there was no other way to describe it – and said that she looked forward to seeing him again soon. So her visits to the dungeons, most likely, would continue in the future. Oh well, there had certainly been worse outlooks at the beginning of a new year.

With an acknowledging incline of his head, he spun around and disapparated from the doorstep.

*'*'*'*'*

"So, how did the Sweet Dream Potion work for you?" Luna asked with interest when she and Hermione were back in the parlour. Harry and Draco had disappeared somewhere; Hermione suspected that Draco was keen to get the details of his excursion with their godfather as well.

They settled comfortably in the window nook, and Kreacher immediately appeared to serve them tea. Hermione made sure to thank him profusely. He had really pampered them in the last days, and the least thing she could do was to let him know how much his efforts were appreciated.

Luna's question made her smile blissfully. Strangely, she didn't even feel herself blush this time, like she had whenever she had crossed gazes with Severus in the last hour. It was impossible to be embarrassed in front of Luna.

"That good?" Luna asked, her eyes sparking with excitement, as she kept adding spoons full of sugar to her tea. "I suppose you did not have a Crumple-horned Snorkack?"

Hermione shook her head. "Better!" she said, smiling into her tea cup.

"Really?" Luna looked a bit dubious, probably not believing this to be possible. But what she said next almost made Hermione choke on her tea. "So did you dream about Professor Snape then?"

Hermione coughed and stared at her in shock. Had she been that obvious about it? First Draco, and now Luna? "How do you know?" she asked faintly, knowing that there was no sense in lying to the fey girl.

Luna shrugged. "Well, your auras have changed, meaning you must have spent some time together," she explained. "Yours has faded to a really bright sunflower-yellow, and his has now the colour of lavender. It reminds me of the lovely fields in southern France. Really beautiful..."

"Luna, there is nothing..." Hermione started, feeling the need to explain. "We're not doing anything..." No, neither statement was really true, she realised. They had done quite a few things that were more than pushing the boundaries of a student-teacher relationship, especially last night under that mistletoe. And it was unlikely that they would stop doing so, if one was being realistic about it. "Well, not nothing, strictly speaking," Hermione hastened to correct, "but nothing that should raise reason for concern..." She was babbling. Okay – so it was possible to be embarrassed in front of Luna.

But her friend only looked at her serenely. "I'm not concerned. Why should I be? I told you that you were good for each other and should spend more time together. And I've always known that Professor Snape is an honourable man."

"You have?" Hermione gave her a surprised look. Did that include last year, too? Had Luna been another secret ally Severus hadn't known about?

"I've seen Simperblots in his dungeon office many times," said Luna earnestly. "And do you remember when Ginny, Neville and I tried to steal the Sword of Gryffindor, last year? There were some hiding underneath the cabinets in the headmaster's office, too. They would hardly have set foot in it if he wasn't trustworthy."

Hermione didn't ask what exactly Simperblots were. Obviously, having them around was good for someone's integrity. "Still... could you just please not mention anything to anyone about it?" she asked. "I don't think most people would see it that way... They wouldn't understand."

"It's so sad, isn't it? People seem unable to see the many good and wonderful things we're surrounded by, and yet they can see trouble everywhere, even if there is none. Don't worry, Hermione, I won't say anything."

Luna grabbed a sandwich and daintily started nibbling on it. "Do you love him, then?" she asked casually in between bites, as if being in love with a teacher was no big deal.

"I think I do," Hermione admitted. "It's crazy, I know... me, being so young..."

Luna seemed a bit confused by that. "What does age have to do with what your heart feels?" she wondered.

"Well, nothing, I suppose. But people will tell you that you can't possibly know such a thing for sure until you're older."

"Like I just said: People are ignorant about a great many things. They also say that the Blibbering Humdinger and the Crumple-horned Snorkack don't exist, just because they have never seen one. You have an old soul, Hermione. Not ancient, I mean, but I'm sure that you've been around a couple of times."

"Around? Like around the block?" Hermione frowned. She wasn't experienced at all, not in the physical sense, and certainly not in matters of the heart.

"Born and re-born, I mean." Luna smiled softly. "Don't worry so much, Hermione. Things will sort themselves out, you will see. Just trust in what you feel." She took another bite of her sandwich, then her eyes lit up. "Oh, I forgot to ask: Did the Professor like the present you made for him?"

"I think he did. Thank you again for helping me with it. The butterfly dust was a brilliant idea!"

"And the globe seems to be working, too. He's looking so much better already – almost dashing, don't you think?"

"Yes, in fact, I do." He had certainly looked very handsome yesterday, in his elegant outfit, with his dark hair, his fair complexion and those compelling eyes.

"For some people, getting the Gloomilows is actually a good thing," Luna said pensively. "Your auras have drawn you to each other. Although I wonder if the Netherfairies had something to do with that, too. You had them buzzing around your head when you got back to school. I supposed the oath you made involved Professor Snape, then?"

"Yes, it did," Hermione said, wondering again where Luna's strange perceptiveness came from. "How did you know?"

"Because there were Netherfairies around his head, too," her friend explained good-naturedly. "Actually, he already had them last year after the Christmas holiday, when you, Harry and Ron were still out there on your secret mission. It was most peculiar, because I just couldn't picture Professor Snape calling on them. Most wizards don't take them seriously, you know? They only vanished when yours did, which was shortly after he came back to Hogwarts this autumn."

Hermione was puzzled. "I don't understand. Why would he have Netherfairies around him because of my wish to survive the war?" According to Luna, a sacrificing vow – a daring pledge made in return for being granted a wish – attracted Netherfairies, who helped make the wish come true and stayed for the entertainment of seeing the pledge fulfilled. Hermione had wished to survive the war, and had pledged to ask Professor Snape for a kiss if she did. It had seemed more dramatic than promising to confess her admiration and fascination for him.

"Oh, is that what you wished for?" Luna asked, blinking rapidly. "Surviving the war? That was very daring of you, Hermione! You could have died if you hadn't held up your end of the bargain!" Then her eyes suddenly brightened. "But then, involving Professor Snape in your pledge was a brilliant idea! Like catching two Plimpies in one trap! You really are a clever witch!"

"Sorry, I'm not following..." Hermione said, confused. It had been forward and rather daring, for sure, but what did Luna consider clever about it? And what did she mean by catching two Plimpies instead of just one?

"I suppose your pledge required him to be alive so that you could do whatever you pledged to do if the Netherfairies granted your wish and kept you safe?"

"Yes..." Hermione breathed, feeling her heart jump to her throat. Oh God! When pledging to ask him for a kiss in case she survived, she hadn't thought about the fact that it required him to be alive as well! "If he had died in the Shrieking Shack, I couldn't have told him..." she voiced the disturbing thoughts that suddenly sprang to mind. "I couldn't have asked him..." She couldn't have confessed any of the things she had told him that night in his office, and she couldn't have asked him for a kiss if that snake had managed to kill him. The thought made her heart clench. He would have been dead. "I would have died, too..."

"You never know for sure with Netherfairies, they're quite fickle and capricious, but they're not evil," Luna said evenly. "If your promise was to tell him or to ask him something and you were willing to go through with it, the expected drama must have gotten the Netherfairies very interested in seeing your pledge fulfilled." Luna smiled, very pleased with her own trail of thoughts. "You might have saved Professor Snape's life with that pledge, Hermione, because it obviously made the Netherfairies watch out for him, too."

Hermione's heart skipped a beat. Could that really be true? Had making the seemingly childish pledge in truth been a piece of protective magic that had bound them to each other during a time they had both needed help the most? After Lily's sacrifice and the protection it had given Harry, Hermione knew that magic was more than wand waving and saying an incantation. It was all about intent and strong emotions. Luna seemed to have a very clear concept of it, and she was right way too often to dismiss her ideas as crazy.

"Luna... the Sweet Dream Elixir... do you think it only shows us what we want to see? Or do you think it's possible that it lets us see what is really there?"

She had a hard time separating the professor and mentor from the man she seen and felt in her potion-induced dream, as if she had really known him so intimately. More than before, she felt like she had caught a glance of the real man behind the image he cultivated, the public front he put up.

"Well, it is hard to tell for sure... I guess we would have to know if the potion contained any ingredients inducing clairvoyance. But I know I found the Crumple-horned Snorkack, and I can tell you exactly what it looked and felt liked, down to its purplish, diamond-shaped scales, the softness of its muzzle and the smell of sweaty trainers that it seemed to emit. Actually, Dad was mistaken – the horn he brought home must have been an Erumpent horn after all. That of the Crumple-horned Snorkack is much smaller and prettier."

Damn, was all Hermione could think. If Luna had seen in such clarity what she had not seen in real life before – why had the Severus in her dream remained dressed the entire time? Her dream had not provided answers to any of the questions she had often pondered – such as what he was wearing underneath his frock coat or what he might look like bare of all clothing... as if even the potion was unable to fabricate anything that was totally out of her realm of imagination. Maybe it was better this way. Potion class would become really awkward if Hermione was perfectly able to picture him naked.

She definitely could picture all the other things the dream had provided. Being married to him, taking him to see her friends, using his office to play kinky games with him... Hopefully, he'd be able to picture it too, one day.

She would just have to wait and see... If nothing else, the dream had shown her a possibility, a man she suspected he could be, hoped he would be, with her. It felt real and true, like a glimpse into the future, and Hermione was determined to make it happen.

A/N: Actually, what Luna points out to Hermione about her possibly having saved Severus by making the Netherfairies watch over him was pointed out to me by the very real Luna8888, who probably can see Netherfairies, too. Thank you so much for the inspiration!

And talking about Luna, my third favourite character: On googling what the Crumple-Horned Snorkack might look like, I came across an interview with Ms Rowlings, who claimed that Luna actually never found it and admitted that it didn't exist. Hello?! No way! I refuse to accept that as canon (as I do with everything she says in interviews). Luna was so brilliant with all the things she perceived about people... why should she be wrong about this? Why take this away from her? I'm not sure if she'll ever find it (I prefer to think she does and finally gets the credit that is due to her) but she'll never cease to believe in its existence! Crumple-Horned Snorkacks are real!