Soft Christmas music plays through the speakers in the house even though it's the day after Christmas, and around the long dining room table, everything is calm and bright. We're still in our jammies and haven't even brushed our teeth today. Dad is back in his sweats, an old Citizen Dick t-shirt, and he hasn't shaved in two days. Even though it's well into the afternoon, no one is particularly concerned by our general lack of motivation today.
Dad's tongue is slowly making its way out between his lips and I can't help but giggle at his concentration as he puts a stroke of icy blue nailpolish on my thumb. He looks up at me and frowns.
"What?"
"Nothing." I shrug. "You're doing great, Dad."
He raises my completed hand in his and smiles to himself, obviously proud of his work.
"So, give this a few minutes and we'll put on a topcoat of the clear sealer," he says and screws the brush back onto the bottle.
I fan out all my fingers on both hands to look at how pretty they are and sigh.
"Wow. You didn't get any on my cuticles. You're officially better than Stella at this."
Dad takes the shimmery purple nailpolish I wanted from my case and gives it a shake. Holding out his hand to me, I take his signal to raise my foot to him and he places it gently on his knee, frowning at my nails.
"Thank you. I accept tips in the form of hugs, but don't try that with any other esthetician," he teases. "Your toenails are much smaller, so I can't promise the perfection I managed with your hands." Unscrewing the top of the nailpolish, Dad slowly removes the brush and dabs off some excess paint. "Side note...I think I may be starting to need glasses. Although the last time I did this, the toes I was painting were slightly bigger."
"Mom's?"
Dad snorts and shakes his head, lowering his head closer to my foot. "No. Lilly's. When we were dating she used to make me paint her toenails pink."
"Ew! Why would you do that?" Phin looks around his partially completed Death Star from the other side of the dining room table and wrinkles his nose at us.
My foot bounces as Dad laughs and he drops a bit of polish on my big toenail before spreading it with the brush.
"Because, Phin, sometimes when you're young and have a girlfriend, you'll do anything they ask of you. Even if it's painting their toenails. We boys are stupid that way."
"Have you done a lot of stupid things for girls, Dad?" I ask.
He presses his lips together like he's holding back a grin and just nods his response, carefully moving the brush to the next toe.
"Like what?" Phin asks, momentarily distracted from his serious Lego work.
Dad's whole body shakes this time as he chuckles, deep and long. He picks up my foot in the palm of his big hand and I slide in the chair when he raises it up a little closer to his face for him to see.
"I have done many, many, many stupid things for girls in my time. Most of the things I'll need to wait to tell you about until you turn 16...at least."
"Have you done any stupid things for Mom?" I can barely keep the excitement out of my words when I ask.
The nail brush hovers for a split second over my toe and a wicked grin spreads across Dad's face. He looks up at me and arches his eyebrow at me and laughs again.
"Lately or in general?"
"Either," Phin says with a grin. He stands and walks away from his project to join us at the other end of the table, taking the chair just behind me.
Finishing the final toes on my foot, Dad lets me go and I trade feet while he reloads the polish on the brush. When he's done, he lets out a deep sigh and continues to paint as he speaks.
"I once punched a federal agent for her. Does that count as stupid?"
"WHAAATT?!" we both gasp in unison.
A smug look of satisfaction crosses Dad's face, but he shrugs nonchalantly, like he didn't just drop this massive life bomb on us.
"The guy was undercover at our high school and your mom got mixed up in one of his investigations. I happened to be talking to her on her cell phone when he jumped in her car and kind of...well...I thought he kidnapped her…"
"WHAAAATTT?" we both yell again and Dad carries on like we didn't just freak out inches away from his face.
"...but he was just taking her to his motel room to get information from her about a case she was working. Except she didn't know it at the time...and neither did I. So I headed there, cut them off at the pass, and sucker punched him a few times."
So. Many. Questions. It feels like my head may explode just trying to pick one from my brain!
"Wait! Stop! What did Mom do when you punched him?" Phin jumps in, leaning closer to us.
"Well, at first she didn't do anything, but his badge fell out of his pocket and she realized he was with the ATF and stopped me from knocking all his teeth loose."
"You could have totally gone to prison," I murmur in shock and Dad nods.
"True. Thankfully, he and your mom had a nice conversation and exchanged information and I didn't have to."
He looks up at us with a wobbly smile and places my foot down on his knee, returning the brush to the polish. There's something in the twinkle in his eye, though, that tells me he isn't quite done with the story.
"Then what happened?" My heart is pounding with excitement as I ask.
Dad looks between us and his cheeks go a little pink and deep dimples appear from his smile. "Then, as we left, she stopped me and gave me a small kiss, to thank me for showing up and protecting her."
We both gasp and Phin nearly climbs onto the table to get closer to us. " Then what happened?"
"Then…." He pauses a beat and I hold my breath, waiting for Dad to reply, softly. "...I kissed her back, but much harder and much longer than she kissed me. And it was game over."
My breath starts back up with a sigh and I clutch my heart. "That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard!"
"Oh no, it isn't." Dad shakes his finger at Phin first. "No punching people to impress girls…" then he points at me. "...no kissing boys who punch people for you."
Phin snorts and retreats back to his chair, folding his arms in front of his chest and shaking his head.
"Like anyone's going to want to kiss Gracie anyway."
"Shut up!" I whip around and swat in Phin's direction but he's way too far away and just laughs at me.
"Dear Lord…" Dad rubs his scruffy face with his palm and sighs. "Phin, be nice to your sister, please. Apologize, right now."
Phin rolls his eyes and squishes up his nose at me. "Fine. I'm sorry Gracie. Someone will kiss you...eventually...I'm sure."
I growl in frustration and Dad shakes his head. "That's not a very good apology."
"Fine! I'm sorry , Gracie!" Phin stands up and stomps back over to his Death Star, dropping back in his chair with a huff.
Dad looks back at me and shrugs. "It was better than the first apology. I'd take it."
"Apology accepted," I snip back at Phin but he ignores me.
I take my foot off Dad's knee and smile sweetly at him, hoping to get back to the original topic. "You said something about a case she was working , Dad. What does that mean?"
His eyes narrow and Dad leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "Your Mom never told you?"
"Told us what?"
"That she worked with your Grandpa at Mars Investigations?"
"Yeah, she told us she was his receptionist," Phin interjects before I can say anything.
"She was more than just that," Dad explained. "She did a lot of investigating herself."
"She did?!"
"Yes, she did. But she didn't end up taking a lot of cases after we got pregnant with you both." Dad glances between us. "Being weighed down by twins was not conducive to lurking in cars outside seedy motels, tracking down strange people. You both were just so big, and she's so tiny that it was too uncomfortable for her to take cases."
My stomach tightens and I cringe and Dad must have seen because he quickly shakes his head.
"You guys did not take something away from her when she stopped investigating. Trust me. She always wanted to be a lawyer, ever since I met her—that was her goal—and she said in high school that her investigative skills would help her when she became one. It was something she was good at doing, and it helped pay the bills for her and Grandpa."
I nod my head, rolling around the idea of Mom as some secret investigator with a black trench coat, floppy black hat, and a magnifying glass, looking for clues in dark back alleys.
"That's pretty cool," I murmur, mainly to myself, but Dad nods his agreement.
"It's pretty bad-ass. But that's your Mom in general."
Dad's eyes shift past me, as if lost in a thought and my heart aches for him. This Christmas, I keep imagining things Phin and I lost from a life we never lived—one in Neptune with Mom and Dad together. But the fact is that I don't know what it would have been like because I don't even remember a time when they were together. Then I remind myself that what Dad lost was actually so much more. He was there. He had to live it. He remembers what it was like when we were a family. And just even trying to imagine that time, from the pictures and stories, makes me sad for him and so very angry, deep down inside, at my Mom that I have to stop myself from doing it.
The front door slams and bangs through the entryway and down the hallway and I jump in my chair, almost falling off, so Dad has to grab me.
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Uncle D calls out and it echoes through the house. "Where you all at? Helloooooo!"
"In here, Dick!" Dad calls back and stands, walking past me to wave down the hall to him.
"Merry Christmas, Echolls Family!" I turn around to see Uncle D in a red t-shirt, red jeans, and a Santa hat saunter into the room, grinning from ear to ear. He raises his hands in the air and yells again. "Ho! Ho! Ho!"
"You know it's Echolls/Mars, Dick," Dad sighs as he walks up to him and Uncle D drops his arms to give him a big hug. "But Merry Christmas to you, too. Although you are a day late."
Uncle D slaps Dad a few times on the back before they release and walk over to the table. I put up my fingers and wiggle them, showing off my nails.
"Merry Christmas, Uncle D! I just can't hug you right now."
He looks down at me, his mouth twisting as he laughs. "What's that? Nail polish?! You're way too young for that!"
"I'm 10 now, Uncle D! You know that," I huff with annoyance and he just laughs and rubs my head like I'm some puppy dog.
"Oh yeah! Right." He snaps and shakes his head. "Just watch out...first comes nail polish then you're talking about boys and…"
"All right. That's enough. Let her be 10 years old…" Dad smacks Uncle D across the shoulder.
"We were just talking about stupid things boys do to impress girls they like!" Phin pipes up, jumping from his chair to come closer to the conversation. "Have you done anything dumb for a girl, Uncle D?"
Just as Uncle D opens his mouth, Dad comes up behind him and covers his lips with his hand so all that we hear is the muffled sound of Uncle D talking into his palm.
"We don't need to hear any of those stories today, Phin," Dad states and frowns at Uncle D.
For a second, they exchange looks and Uncle D nods, and Dad lets go of his mouth.
"Right. Those stories aren't for today." Uncle D winks and chuckles. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulls out his wallet. "I just came over to see what you guys were doing and drop off my gifts for you both…"
He pulls out two $100 bills from his leather wallet and hands one to Phin and then one to me. He's done this the last few years and says the same thing every time…
"Kids gotta have pocket money for comics and bubble gum and stuff. Just don't spend it on drugs, okay?"
"Thanks Uncle D!" I say as Dad rolls his eyes and sighs. "We won't."
"Thanks Uncle D!" Phin follows up. "Last year, I took my buddies down to the bodega near the school at lunch and we spent it all on chocolate bars. It was pretty sweet."
"I bet!" Uncle D laughs and stuffs his wallet back in his pocket. "But if you get caught, don't tell your mom I gave you the money…" He jerks his thumb at Dad. "..tell her your Dad did it."
"Always got my back, don't you?" Dad grips Uncle D's shoulders and gives him a little shake and I can see that Dad may try and look annoyed, but his eyes are smiling at the back of Uncle D's head.
"Hey man, I'm going on a 'date' with your ex-wife's new fiance…." He spins around to face Dad, pulls out his cell phone and holds it up to Dad's nose. "I mean, Piz has great taste in music, but he won't stop texting me questions. It's weird, man. I think he may like me more than he likes her."
Phin and I start giggling and Dad shoves the phone from his face. "Well, he's coming alone to your New Year's Eve gig, so if he suggests running away together, do us all a favour and say, 'yes' okay?"
"Ronnie isn't coming?" Uncle D shoves the phone back in his pocket and struts past Dad towards the kitchen. "That's a shame. I was going to dedicate my song 'Heartless' to her and everything."
Dad groans and looks up at the ceiling, shaking his head. He does this a lot when Uncle D is around. Apparently, now that we've figured out that Uncle D doesn't exactly like Mom, it seems that he's stopped filtering himself. Or maybe that we finally understand that it wasn't good natured teasing, and a little more harsh…
"No. Veronica is spending the evening with me and the kids. Piz is supposed to show up around midnight. Apparently an awkward evening with her ex-husband was the better choice when faced with listening to your music."
Uncle D grabs a beer from the fridge, but Dad shakes his head at him and Uncle D looks at us, groans, puts it back, and grabs a Coke instead. Dad continues to walk towards him and we stay put at the table, watching them as they continue to bicker like a couple of cranky old ladies on the street. They do this a lot. It's no wonder Dad is still single, if this is what happens when we're not here. I can't imagine any good girlfriend sticking around after listening to them snip at each other all day.
"Hey, this could be my big break, man. NPR! National Public Radio! That's all across the country at the exact same time. Don't go breaking my buzz on this, dude, just because Piz's gonna marry your baby-mama. He also may make me a household name."
"The only way you're going to be a household name is if they rename toilets, 'The Casablancas,'" Dad shoots back and Phin and I explode with laughter.
"Har, har, har…" Uncle D mutters and takes a swig of his Coke.
Dad turns back to us, a smug look of satisfaction on his face and walks back towards me. I pull my feet up onto my chair as he sits down across from me and turns to focus on finding the clear coat in my nail polish case. Frowning for a second, he jerks his chin at me.
"You'd better put that $100 in a safe place. You don't want to lose it on the way back to New York."
"Oh! Right!" I look down at the money balled in my hand and stuff it in an empty spot in my case. "I'll put it in a safe place in my backpack when I take this upstairs."
I hold out my hand and Dad lifts it, kissing the back and I giggle when he winks at me. "For the record, I'm okay with whomever you choose to date. Boy. Girl. Just don't come home with anyone named 'Dick', okay?"
"Enough already!" Uncle D moans as he walks towards Phin and drops into the chair nearest him. "Seriously reconsidering your status as my best friend right now, Logan."
"I thought I was your only friend," Dad shoots back and I giggle again.
"I'm your friend," Phin says and smiles at Uncle D.
"So am I," I concur and Dad gives me another wink of approval as he begins to apply the top-coat to my nails.
Uncle D gets a crooked little smile on his face and looks down at the Lego spread over the table. Picking up the tiny Darth Vader, he begins to walk it over the half-built Death Star as Phin laughs.
"Knew I could count on you, little dudes."
And my heart swells. Dad said that one of the reasons he's friends with Uncle D is that they both had pretty terrible childhoods. The only difference was Dad had us while Uncle D only had Dad and his therapist. Sometimes, I forget that Uncle D isn't actually part of our family, he's just so much a part of who we are when we're here at Dad's.
Uncle D leans in and gives Phin a kiss on the head and Phin grins at him. "Wanna help me, Uncle D?"
Uncle D wiggles Darth Vader in Phin's face and starts to breath heavy like he's the minifigure come alive. "Sure thing, Darth Dudious."
As Dad continues to polish my nails, I keep looking around at all of us together and get all warm inside. Maybe this is why I never really thought that Mom and Dad belonged together before Stosh showed up. In Neptune I've always felt loved by my family here, and in New York, Mom makes us feel safe and cared for all the time. And we talk on the phone with Dad nearly every day and Grandpa visits now and then, when he can get away from work, and it all feels so normal, even though it may not seem that way to other people, like Stosh, but it's been working for us. Or at least I thought it was. But now I want Mom here, to see this . To see us all together, being happy. And I want Dad to see that too, back in New York.
But I guess we'll get that soon. For one night. On New Year's Eve, Mom will be here all night and we'll be able to show her what things could have been like….could still be like...if we stayed. And suddenly, I can hardly wait.