Hi guys!
Initially, like any other one-shot, I didn't plan to do a second chapter of the previous one. But many have asked me for the sequel, so...why not give it to you?
I always thank you for the kind words you dedicate to me and simply for the time you spend reading my stories. This means a lot to me.
Let me know what you think.
And any idea comes to your mind, you know where to write me!
See you soon, H.
Here we are:
78. Here, let me help you. - from cb150681
3. I thought loving you would be enough. - from Guest
"They're so obvious."
"I keep saying it!"
"They are the most stubborn people I know!"
"But who, Halstead stubborn? Really? I never noticed it…"
Hailey woke up slowly. Her neck was killing her and her feet were frozen. But what confused her most was the reason why Kevin was in her bedroom talking while she was sleeping…
"Do you know I can hear you, right?"
Jay's sleepy voice caused a sudden bell to ring in her brain and Hailey sat up in a split second. Her eyes widened and seeing the living room window in front of her, she remembered the night just passed and why she wasn't in her bed.
The groan of pain at the height of her belly made her lower her face and groaned internally at the sight of Jay with his face pressed against her stomach.
She really had no idea how they ended up in that position, but now she had one leg pinched under Jay, while the other was curled against his side. Hailey blinked a few times before she was able to really focus on her surroundings and when she saw Kim, Vanessa and Kevin and their amused faces, she rolled her eyes, sinking into the pillows again.
"Adam missed an amazing show!"
"He'll never believe it!"
"Luckily I took a picture then!"
Hailey moaned louder as she tossed a pillow in the directions of her annoying friends, before sliding her leg out from under Jay and getting off the couch. She hid in the kitchen, she knew she was pretending to be asleep just to hide the furious beating of her heart.
She had promised herself not to fall asleep on the sofa for the exact reason of not being woken by them. Instead, there they are, rolled up on the sofa and discovered by their friends.
But the worst thing, what she knew she shouldn't feel, was that she liked it. Being rolled up against Jay, sleeping like that, she liked it. And she shouldn't have liked it, she shouldn't have liked it at all.
All her feelings for Jay were wrong but she didn't know how to go back. She had accepted them by now, she knew that working with him made her happy and getting some extra attention from him made her heart beat faster. While she accepted it, it didn't make it any less painful.
"This coffee requires a lot of concentration."
Hailey jumped at Vanessa's amused voice behind her. She glanced at her and poured the coffee that was finally ready.
"So…", the woman continued, leaning on the table next to her, "Did you have good dreams?"
Hailey sighed in defeat, "You make a bigger story than it is."
"Hailey, you are a great cop, but…"
Kim walked into the kitchen immediately noticing the tense silence between the two women.
"Uh, are we dealing with the talk we never want to deal with?"
"No."
"Yes."
Hailey and Vanessa glared at each other before Kim burst into laughter, "You know you put more effort into not wanting to talk about it than you would into talking about it?"
"Girls, there is nothing to talk about!"
"What are we talking about?"
Hailey grunted loudly as she saw Adam stagger into the kitchen as he wiped sleep from his eyes. And her mood only got worse when she noticed Jay and Kevin behind him.
"We're not talking about anything, okay? Nothing!", she snapped before marching quickly out of the kitchen.
She hid in the bathroom after retrieving her clothes to go out in the snow and, before anyone else could come to disturb her, she changed and slipped silently out the door.
The day was peaceful, staying away from Jay managed to clear her mind.
He had stayed at the cabin, his back pain probably didn't allow him to go skiing and Hailey was secretly happy he made that decision.
Not because she didn't want to spend time with him - Hell, she loved spending time with him - but because it would only make the back pain worse and God knows how annoying he can be when injured.
Hailey was dragged out of her thoughts feeling lifted up in the air and what she knew, after a second, was that she had landed in a snowdrift.
"Never let your guard down, Upton!"
Kevin ran away screaming and throwing his fists into the air, followed by Adam.
"You don't have Halstead watching your back now, you have to be careful!"
Hailey spat out snow, laughing in amusement and then struggling out of the mound that came almost to her sides.
It was nice to be there, away from the city, from the confusion, from the chaotic life. Away from corpses, guns and the thought of being killed at any moment.
And it was at that moment, between Kim's laughter, Vanessa and Kevin's jokes and Adam's idiocy, that Hailey realized she missed Jay.
It wasn't new they were the quietest of the group and she liked to share that tranquility with him.
She wished he was there with them just to see him roll his eyes at Adam's antics, then join him and make more noise.
Hailey chuckled alone at the image she had just imagined.
Hell, she missed Jay.
When had she become so romantic? No, not romantic, she corrected herself immediately. So stupid. Yeah, stupid was the right word.
For years she had been focused on not letting her feelings for someone affect her behavior. But now she was there, looking around and wishing Jay was with her just so she could share that moment with him too.
Kim's laughter pulled Hailey out of her thoughts, but only for a second. Because the look she saw in Adam gave her all the answers she needed. He was so in love with her, so deeply in love with her, that he was content to watch her laughing. Adam looked at Kim with so much intensity Hailey felt almost embarrassed to have intruded on such a private moment.
After all that had happened, Kim could still laugh and Adam still didn't stop adoring her. It was something beyond mere infatuation, it was nothing fleeting. The adoration carved on Adam's face was so pure that - Hailey really hoped so - Kim should have noticed soon.
In all the ugliness they saw every day, after everything she had been through, Kim really deserved some happiness. And Hailey hoped to be there that day, to finally see her happy.
And while she waited for that day, she would make sure she was the best friend Kim could have. Or, at least, she would try. She knew she'd hurt her once before, the whole Adam thing had been a huge mess and Hailey would make sure she didn't hurt her again.
And this could only mean one thing: no other romantic drama should have upset the unity. Hailey would hide her feelings for Jay under layers and layers of dust, forget them in the corner of her mind, waiting for the moment when they would evaporate on their own.
It wouldn't be that hard, would it?
She shook her head with a deep sigh. It would have been damn hard, but she had been through worse in her life. And anyway, she wasn't giving up on Jay, she wasn't going to wipe him out of her life. The only thing she was going to do was forget all those feelings that buzzed in her stomach when he smiled or handed her a coffee or…
"Hailey! Come here!"
She gladly agreed to Vanessa's scream. The only thing that could stop her thinking was keeping herself busy, so what better commitment than to roll Kevin down a snowy slope?
...
Hailey followed Adam inside the cabin, untying her soaked hair from the messy braid she had done in the morning.
The warm warmth of the lit fireplace immediately warmed her cheeks, while her hands and feet, still wet from the snow, were frozen.
She peered into the small living room to be able to see Jay waving a hand in their direction. He was lying on the sofa with an open book on his stomach and he certainly seemed to have had a much more relaxed day than theirs. But knowing him, he was probably just going crazy for having to stand still.
Hailey took a quick, but mostly hot, shower before putting on a sweat suit and joining her partner.
"Hey", she said sliding into the chair next to him.
"Did the others stay out?"
Hailey immediately noticed how Jay's attitude was so different from what he had been up until the day before, but she decided not to give it any weight. He was probably just bothered by his back pain.
She nodded watching as he tried to sit up straighter by pushing with his arms. The back still evidently stiff.
"Here, let me help you."
She immediately reached out to him, her hand was already on his shoulder when, suddenly, Jay pushed her away with an annoyed wave of his arm.
It was such an unexpected movement it took her a few seconds to realize what had happened. She didn't expect it. She knew Jay wasn't a lover of physical contact, but she thought they were past that stage by now. She thought he could now tolerate her helping him sit up.
She looked at him waiting for an explanation, even if minimal, but still an explanation. But Jay kept his gaze out the window. He leaned back against the sofa, but didn't look at her.
They remained silent for what seemed to be an eternity. The only noise was Adam's off-key voice singing some song in the shower.
Hailey shifted uncomfortably in the chair, stretched out her legs ready to get up, when Jay finally decided to break the stubborn silence into which he had fallen.
"I thought loving you would be enough but...but it isn't."
Okay, maybe of all she could expect, this was definitely the last thing. She opened her mouth a couple of times without being able to find a meaningful sentence that could express what her brain refused to understand.
"Loving me? What are you…what? I don't understand, I…"
"I'm in love with you, Hailey, and I thought all of this was enough for me. Working with you, being with you, I thought it was enough for me. But it isn't."
Jay ran his hands through the hair before sinking a little deeper into the sofa. His gaze was lost in the snow and he seemed to have no intention of speaking anymore.
Adam's out-of-tune voice was still high, but Hailey could swear she was a thousand miles away because her heart thundered in her ears.
She knew they'd been dancing around this thing with each other for a long time, but she didn't think Jay felt that way about her. She didn't think he could reciprocate her feelings with such force.
"I'm sorry, Hails. But I can't do this anymore."
And suddenly, the thunder of her heart stopped and Hailey could swear her heart had stopped too.
All she could do was open and close her mouth without her brain being able to process what was happening.
Jay had said he couldn't do it anymore. Couldn't he love her anymore? He hadn't even given her a chance to tell him she felt the same way. Because she knew she felt the same way.
But then, like a bolt from the blue, Kim's finally happy laughter came into her mind. And, at the same time, she and Jay were partners. Could she risk everything they had for…for that?
"I can no longer pretend nothing has happened. I am in love with you and I love to see you laugh at something I said. Hell, I love to see you just laugh. And I no longer want to hide how I feel when I'm around you. I don't want to and I can't."
Jay finally shifted his gaze to her face and smiled gently at her, as if apologizing for the words he had just said.
"I…uhm…", Hailey gasped looking for a sign that would tell her what to say.
What was the right choice? What was she supposed to do?
But as always, Jay anticipated her freeing her from the burden of decision.
"You don't have to say anything. I couldn't keep it inside anymore. I believed that deep down…you too…but it's okay, don't say anything, Hailey, don't say anything."
He seemed to have regained the agility that the back pain had taken away from him because, in a flash, Jay was on the other side of the living room and the cabin door was wide open.
The cheerful voices of Vanessa, Kim and Kevin bounced off the wooden walls all around her, but Hailey didn't notice.
Was it possible that her heart was no longer beating in her chest? That was the feeling, she told herself, putting a hand on her chest. Stupidly she was surprised to hear a pulse. Her gaze darted to the door hoping to see Jay still there, but all she saw was his back staggering down the hall, soon replaced by a very snowy Vanessa.
The rest of the evening passed quietly.
Hailey couldn't help but notice how Jay kept stoic in not showing what had happened between them had somehow touched him. Indeed, it seemed that nothing had happened between them. No, it might have seemed to everyone but her. Hailey clearly saw how he tried not to be alone with her and how he tried hard to have Kim sitting between the two of them. But it was still the same Jay and for a moment she wondered if she had imagined it all.
If those words, which kept swirling in her brain at almost dizzying speeds, were true or if she was just imagining them.
And it was just at that moment, when she kept repeating her words in her head over and over and over, that she decided she should talk to him. Even if she had to convince him by force, they would talk.
And they would do it before they went back to Chicago.
He waited patiently to find the right opportunity, but the more time passed, the more he realized that he would never find the right moment to drag him away from prying ears.
So he simply confided that not even tonight he would be able to sleep in his bed and would surprise him on the sofa. Ultimately, late-night conversations were the ones that worked best with the two of them.
She let the rest of the evening go by and, much calmer than she expected she would have, slipped under the covers and even managed to laugh with her noisy roommates.
The more time passed, the more she expected to feel the nerves running under her skin, but deep down she had known for a long time that this moment would come.
She waited patiently for Kim and Vanessa to fall asleep and when she heard their breathing become regular, she slipped out of bed and into the corridor in silence, just like last night.
And, God, how well she knew him.
In the dark of the living room, she saw Jay lying on the sofa with a thick blanket spread over him.
"You didn't give me time to answer."
She didn't see him jump, so he probably heard her coming or, more likely, he was simply waiting for her to arrive.
"You didn't seem in the mood to talk."
Hailey slowly approached him, who still hadn't turned his gaze to her. She noticed the light snow falling outside the window and realized that it could be a good way to relax, but she decided to keep her concentration right on the stubborn man in front of her.
"I wish I had. But there are so many things to say, I have no idea where to start."
"Well", he sighed, "you could start by telling me why you've already decided that this thing…this thing between us can't work."
It was curious how he was assuming she had feelings for him. But basically, it had been pretty obvious to everyone. Her behavior with Jay was different from what she had with anyone else. Vanessa had repeated it hundreds of times and now, for the first time, she ended up believing that everyone had understood well before her what was going on between them.
"We are partners."
"But that's not what upsets you. It disturbs you, but it doesn't upset you. Tell me the truth, Hailey."
God damn, that was the only thing she could think of as she sat on the other side of the couch from Jay.
The only light came from the still-burning fireplace and the faint warmth of the embers warmed her feet, the part of her body closest to the fire.
They were silent for a few moments, both pretending to be so focused on the snow falling outside the window.
"Kim laughed today."
Her voice was low, light. She almost seemed to have whispered but Jay turned his head towards her with a knowing look. He obviously understood.
"It was nice, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, it was…", Hailey reasoned over the words, "I can't do that, Jay. Do you understand it? I can't just…"
"Bullshit", he cut her words quickly and she gaped at him, "This is bullshit, Hailey and we both know it. Just tell me I got it all wrong and I'll accept it. But don't hide behind Kim or any other bullshit. I think I deserve the truth, I'm sure I deserve it."
The hurt look Jay had had during the conversation made her flinch and before she could really think about what she was doing or what she should say, her lips were on his.
"Wait…Hailey, wait."
Jay's hands landed on her shoulders and she felt pushed away. She was still too confused by what she had just done to be able to realize that Jay's mouth was moving and she wasn't recording his words. She blinked back to reality only when she felt Jay's hand slip through her hair.
"Hailey."
It was just a sigh, a sigh that brushed her face lightly.
"You have not misunderstood, you have not misunderstood anything. It's been so long since… I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you, Jay. For a long time, actually…", Hailey broke into a nervous laugh.
How could she explain to him that from one day to the next she had simply understood it was him? That it would always be him? That she no longer thought of finding in someone else what she had already found in him?
It was something she couldn't even explain to herself, so how could she explain it to him?
And then his lips were on hers and that's when Hailey realized she'd been waiting all her life just to live that moment.
She was so lost in what could be the rest of her life when Jay's phone started ringing on the coffee table next to them. He pulled away from her stiffly grabbing the phone and bringing it to her ear.
"Halstead. Yeah, Sarge. Yeah, two hours. Send me the address."
Hailey knew perfectly well the meaning of that phone call but it was only when the words 'double murder' came out of Jay's mouth that Hailey moaned in defeat.
They got up slowly, knowing full well that they had to pack their bags and go back to Chicago.
Despite several attempts, they couldn't get their things ready without waking the others up but Hailey honestly didn't care much. She felt so light, so different from how she had felt in a long time, that right now she didn't even care having to go to the scene of a double murder.
They slipped into Jay's truck in silence, Kevin's amused laughter at how 'Detectives are so unlucky' behind them and the heat immediately turned on.
Before leaving, Jay grabbed her hand and her heart fluttered a little in her chest.
"We have time, Hails."
"All the time in the world", she smiled at him, squeezing his hand.
'All the time in the world', she repeated it a couple of times, leaving behind those two days of vacation and ready to face real life again, with Jay. Always with Jay.
'All the time in the world.'