"Hey."
There's a blue-haired woman outside of my door. It's Konan.
"Pein sent me to check on you."
She seems like the mother of this group, and she's the only one who's yet to call me a tool or an asset.
"I figured as much."
The bed they gave me was nice, I guess. It's a raised platform with a futon mattress.
"You're settling in, I see." She smiles. Finally, a person who has emotions here.
"You could say that..."
I don't like it here much if any. I'm not even sure if I'm missing or dead back in Suna. Kankuro's practically lost a brother, Baki's lost a son.
It kills me thinking that they might not know I'm out here.
Christ, Gaara might go all homicidal maniac.
"First day jitters?"
"More like being homesick..."
"What did Suna do for you? There's no need to miss it-"
I cut her off.
"Everything. They took me in, bleeding, half dead. They brought me back. They taught me how to exist in a world like this. Sure, I'm weak. Sure, I can't fight. But I met people who cared there. Everyone here sees me as some sort of advantage for them in battle. Suna didn't do that. Especially the people I cared about there."
"I see. You seek friendship. We got off on the wrong foot. I'm Konan, second in command to Pein."
"The angel of Ame, as you've called in the books."
Man, I love seeing the reactions when I say I own a bingo book.
"It appears Sasori was right. You read quite a bit."
"I couldn't walk without crutches for three weeks. It's all I could do."
"How'd you even shred yourself up like that?"
She's trying to get on my good side, I can tell. She's damn good at it too. She wins this one. I actually like her, which is a rarity around here.
"I'd rather not talk about it."
God, if another person tries to elicit a confession of me falling from the sky and nearly dying again, I might be a little mad.
"Trauma?"
"That, and I hit my head pretty hard," I smirk a bit, a nervous habit.
"Glad to see it's healed." She stands up from my bedside. "Pein is calling me back. I must go. Thank you for your time, Kai."
She drops the motherly demeanor in favor of the usual cold-blooded one that every member has.
I hate it here, obviously. I don't have the hatred of humanity to be here. I don't have the attitude, the twofacedness, the strength.
As selfish and petty as it is, I miss my creature comforts.
This world doesn't allow for missing. It doesn't allow for comfort.
We send out the young to war, the second you're strong enough you fight.
Peacetime is but a mere joke here. I mean, half these villages have only existed for a century, and we've had three great wars.
Three.
America had two world wars in nearly 200 years of its existence.
Maybe that's what Pein saw in me. Anger.
After all, Ignorance is bliss.
Back home, if you didn't watch the news, you didn't know who was dying. You didn't know about whatever crisis was going on.
Here, you're thrown into it.
The strive for power is extreme. It's all about the size of the country, and wealth.
Seriously. I've seen the kingdoms in medieval times deal with this better.
Not like I can fix it. So I won't. I'll ally with whatever side I feel more comfortable with. That side happens to be Suna. They're better than Konoha and certainly better than Kiri.
I mean, Gaara's 15. How corrupt can you be at 15?
New plan: Suck it the fuck up until you can leave. Find a way to leave. Get back to Suna.
Simple. As. That.
Bonus points for getting rid of Madara/Tobito.
I am totally calling him that now. He sounds like a kind of chip.
As for training, I'm almost guaranteed to be subject to immense amounts of suffering. Fun.
I fall asleep that night to the sound of my own racing thoughts and anxious heartbeat.
We wake at dawn. I hate it. Time doesn't exist as much here, which means that I can't gauge two things:
How long I train
How long I'm here.
Both of those are vital parts of my current life and plan. Fuck. Guess we're going with the age-old trick of carving your days down.
I decide that I'll measure the sunsets. It's a simple and straightforward way of measuring time.
It seems Pein made me a calendar of sorts. It's a notepad with a schedule.
Breakfast
Training
Lunch
Education period
No clue what an education period is, but I assume he means I have to sit and watch him talk.
And after that, I've got dinner.
The note is signed with his name and a PS. "Come to my office for further direction."
One unfortunate thing I've discovered is that sadly, an eerie theme does not play whenever someone decides to darken my doorway.
It's no different when I manage to drag my ass over to Pein's office.
"You asked for my presence?"
God, he's a lot more intimidating when he's standing over you. Not to mention the piercings look both scary, poorly done, painful, and awesome.
I wonder if he does them for free. I'd kill for a nose ring.
"Correct. From now on, I expect you to address me as Leader, or Lord Pein. Is that clear?"
"Clear as crystal."
"Very well. Today is your first official day as a member of the Akatsuki. Remember your place. You are one of our youngest, and you are certainly the least trained."
He hands me a cloak.
"This, along with a hat, are to be worn when outside of the base at all times."
"Understood."
Wearing this thing makes me feel like both a badass and a shitty person for accepting it, all at the same time.
"Good. You'll be with Hidan today."
Oh, so I have to deal with mister ritual sacrifice? If I know myself, I'll be dead by the first hit. Please tell me he won't have his fucking staff scythe thing?
While I'm walking to my demise, I'll tell you about a few cool things about this place.
It's huge, for one. I mean, have you watched Sasori's death scene? The place they fought in was this cave, believe it or not...
Second of all, we have a training arena, apparently.
That's it. This place is just rocks.
The second I get to where I'm supposed to be, I see Hidan half covered in blood, meditating and mumbling some sort of prayer.
I walk inside a bit, and he springs up.
"Hey, Buddy!"
Great. I've had an encounter with one religion freak today, and now it'll be two.
Plus, Him calling me buddy...
"Pein said I'd get to punch someone today! Not as great as sacrifices, but he says he needs you."
Ain't that fun.
"Lord Jashin would have liked you."
Here comes the sermon.
"Eh, I'm itching for a fight today. I'll tell ya all about me later if you're interested!"
Definitely ADHD. He's insanely hyper.
"Pein said no scythe either..."
He makes this pouty face.
"Hidan, I'm here to spar, not fool around," I say.
"C'mon Jashin," He whines, "Why'd you have to give me a boring one..."
Definitely crazy. Extremely crazy. Needs an asylum for sure, but fits the bill for this place.
"Alright, Come at me! Show me what ya got!"
I decide to run at him and sweep kick.
"Rookie mistake, newbie."
He (somehow) has found a way to get behind me.
"Anything interesting you can do?"
I shake my head.
"Well then. I've got my work cut out for me!"
I'm in for quite a treat...