Just like promised, another chapter! A quick warning, this chapter is pretty angst with a lot of sarcasm and dark humor. So if you don't want some melodramatic shit right now don't read! I enjoyed making this chapter though, so I hope you enjoy it!
Two days before Pain's Assault on Konoha
With the thought of being held captive again, Hinata concluded that she would rather be dead. However, being the type of person, she was, she chose not to be too depressed about the obvious torture she was about to go through. So, on the positive side she was older, wiser and more detached to the torture that anyone could do to her now. On the negative side, her curse mark was in a horrible state, she doubted that she would be able to hold up too much longer. She was losing herself, mentally and physically and it was probably just her time to die. Maybe that was better. She wouldn't be a burden to so many people, like Ino, she deserved to live her happy fairy tale ending with that Nara genius. So, they can have genius babies together that looked like not yet ready to pluck blonde-pale pineapples. Oh, the horror, she thought to herself. Then Hinata began to wonder what would happen when she died, or if she didn't die and instead the curse mark fully conquered her.
Would she die if it consumed her?
Or would some weird sick form of Lord Orochimaru come out and laugh at her for thinking she won.
She knew her second form of the curse mark was risky to use and took her to a dark place, and did not want to activate it too many times. She felt like she was diving deeper and deeper into not coming back.
Maybe it wasn't really the curse mark too much and more so trauma? Funny, she never really thought of that.
Her and Ino never really dealt with the shit they went through with Orochimaru and Kabuto. Everything they so-called 'learned' and was 'trained' to do. Ino never addressed the issue that she was used as a geisha part time prostitute. That men toyed with her body and how she emotionally had to check herself out. In the beginning Hinata didn't know, she swore she didn't know what kind of 'missions' Ino was being sent on. Really she was a young teenager, how was she to know that sometimes spy missions would include things of that level. She had to admit, she SHOULD have known, they were trained ninja's for crying out loud, but maybe she was coddled a little too much. Hinata would admit, she was foolish and ignorant to the real world. The Hyuga did a good job in making a fighter, not so much a shinobi that could go undercover as a spy seductress.
Ino went through the experience of losing her virginity in the field, and she felt that broke the woman. Ino was the definition of love and beauty, she believed in happily ever after and prince charming type shit. So yes, getting your virginity stripped from you in the field by some disgusting sweaty fat slob could cause a lot of mental scars when you're not really prepared for it.
When Hinata found all this out she was angry at herself, she was doing one on one training with Lord Orochimaru and while that was enough mental and physical damage, Hinata couldn't image what Ino had been through. Hinata decided that if Ino would go through with it than so would she. So, she did, she started to go on the same assignments as Ino, with Ino and decided she would never be separated from the woman again.
She did not lose her virginity in the field however; she killed her targets before they even got a chance to navigate their dick to her flower. She guessed that was the pride of the Hyuga in her, to never be touched by a man so sickly. At that time and where her mind frame was, no man deserved to touch her in a way.
But Lord Orochimaru was no ordinary man.
She felt like this was something she wanted to keep to herself, that she would end up taking it to her grave. She felt disgusting, stupid and like trash to tell someone that she lost her virginity to Orochimaru-sama and at one period was regularly his. Sometimes when she went through her mental exhausted days, she wanted to die. She sometimes couldn't stomach that she had some sick relationship with the snake, she didn't know how it happened really. One minute it was training as usual and the next he was touching her in an uncomfortable inappropriate manner.
He said before that he wouldn't touch her in such a way, but she should have known that he was a liar.
She was confused with herself, because she didn't push him away, she didn't scream, she didn't object. He was the man that took her away from her family, her friends, the boy she was starting to feel more than admiration for, he was a monster to her, he changed her into a demon. And yet, she didn't push him away when he made sexual advancements to her, why?
At the time she was about 15 years old, she had been deep into whatever 'training' she had going on with Orochimaru and the assignments he was giving Ino and herself. She was so focused on numbing out the pain of the training he was doing with her, the curse mark, being abandoned by her village and the assignments, that she really didn't notice whether or not the snake sannin looked at her differently or if they crossed a line between one another.
It just happened one day, and she didn't stop it, he grinned at her at the end and in her nightly nightmares to this day she sees that grin. It never went away. Ino felt like used trash and Hinata felt like a disease no one wanted. After a while she actually formed a belief in her mind that being with Lord Orochimaru was maybe the best choice, that she should offer her body to him when he was too weak, and his body was failing him. That was when she learned from Kabuto that Orochimaru didn't want her body, that much he was honest about, he wanted her children.
At that time Hinata didn't think she could feel anymore, but she felt fear then.
She didn't know why Kabuto told her this at first, she never thought of him as a friend, she never thought the man as anything to her. She learned that while she never looked at him as anything, Kabuto looked at her differently. He desired her, and after he caught wind of what Orochimaru was doing with her, jealously began to fill him. The Hyuga was supposed to be his. So, he decided he would take it from her since she so willingly gave it to Lord Orochimaru, but she fought back with Kabuto. She screamed and she fought back against him, he was very strong though. That was when Ino came into play, she always came to save her and Hinata learned while Kabuto was strong, Hinata and Ino together was stronger.
Ino was always there for her, and Hinata tried to always be there for Ino. After the whole Kabuto attempted rape situation, Hinata was starting to realize that she was stronger and more intelligent then she thought. Her confidence was starting to blossom in a twisted way.
She felt Ino had so much potential outside of what the Yamanaka clan could do, don't get her wrong, the clan was top up there in Konoha because really, they dealt with people minds and that was a major asset. Hinata just felt like, Ino was so strong physically, but, she could be stronger, so no one had to protect her. That was when Hinata gave Ino the inspiration of working on chakra and brute force. Ino was already skilled in spying and espionage along with Yamanaka clan techniques and she was only getting better, so to be able to physically protect herself and not need someone to watch over her while she performed her Jutsu's made Ino pretty top notch. To be able to execute her clan's technique and not go unconscious from it, it was unheard of. It was dangerous, and that was Ino.
When Hinata told Ino about her and Lord Orochimaru the young Yamanaka at first didn't react, and then she slapped Hinata. She felt that sting to this day, it was the reality check that Hinata needed. That she wasn't just some object, that Orochimaru was just using her once again, and to focus on getting the fuck out of there. Hinata had lost her way for a moment with Orochimaru and the snake sannin had taken advantage of that. He literally had made a protégé out of her and she never even saw it happening.
Fuck, did she fuck around and fall in love with that monster? There had to be a psychological mental condition for this.
She didn't really think she knew what love really was, did she? Well she had to, she loved her deceased mother, she loved Ino. Did she love Naruto? She thought so much about him lately, he was someone that she had deep feelings for once upon a time, but she wasn't so sure that was love. Sure, he was amazing in bed. Like a fucking God. The best sex partner she had ever had, and she could only compare him to a man that was way older than the both of them. Naruto knew spots that she didn't even know she would enjoy stimulated; he was adventurous that's for sure. He lived up to his title of being hyperactive and high stamina. Then she thought about his other traits. He made her feel alive, he got her to smile a real smile and he made late night conversations her favorite thing. He made her realize that she liked to cuddle, especially after sex. Nothing was better than after sex cuddles and kisses. Something she thought was irrelevant and she didn't need, but soon found out with Naruto that she loved it and did need it. Naruto kept the monsters and nightmares away; she was a good person around him. He made her feel again. She thought about his feelings a lot too, she didn't want to be too mean to him. She didn't want to scare or push him away, she enjoyed him around. She yearned to have his touch almost daily. She also felt that ever since she came back into contact with Naruto, her curse mark had been bothering her more. Why was that? Was he some type of threat to it? Was he her will?
Nonsense, what kind of relationship could they possibly have? She was a cold-blooded murderer and he was a future Hokage candidate, she was a liar and he was an honest person. No one would even look at him to be a leader with her as his mate, she was used goods anyways. The Hyuga's would see her as a whore. Naruto was light and she was dark, and the worst part was she liked being the way she was. She liked the fact that she wasn't the same person years ago, she liked that people were scared of her and left her alone. She liked that she could kill someone and no longer feel remorse. She liked that she was a bad person, was that bad? That she liked her freedom.
Fuck yes, the way you think is disgusting and this is why you can't have Naruto.
So, she didn't deserve Naruto, and convinced herself over the years that this must mean she was destined for Orochimaru? Man, she was fucked up mentally. No wonder Ino slapped the shit out of her, she was thinking insane stuff. She definitely didn't know anything about love, she would admit that she did care for Naruto, very deeply, but she didn't think she could go deeper than that.
Hinata's thoughts than drifted back to Orochimaru, like it always did. She hated that he invaded her mind like that, even dead he still messed with her. She always would ask herself, like WHY? Why did she let him touch her, why did she let him take her virginity, why did she start to defend him when Ino bad mouthed him, why did she start to seek him out for training, why did she want to learn about science and snakes, his interests, why did she seek out his touch, why did she MOAN when he touched her.
She had to stop herself, this was the dark part of her mind that she hated to be left alone with.
One day, Hinata would tell herself, one day she would have to admit that she was just like him. That she thought like him, fought like him sometimes and even plotted like him. She had no remorse for others, and she was downright a bad person. She thought if she came back to Konoha she would feel some type of warmth in her soul that she was finally home, then maybe the nightmares would stop.
They didn't.
She thought if she started to do these good deeds and help her former comrades that the bloodlust would go away, and she could be around people in a friendly manner again.
It didn't go away.
She thought if she just TRIED and kept FIGHTING that the curse mark would fear her and see her will was strong to survive and not be consumed.
It didn't work, it was like it saw right through her façade.
She felt so numb sometimes, like she didn't belong anywhere. Like no matter how hard she tried she was that fucking failure loser her father disowned and said she was. She just couldn't win and was just so STUCK. She just lived sometimes, just to live.
So, she endured and put up with so much from Orochimaru, Kabuto and that fucking village she called home just to end up in a shitty situation like this, with the Akatsuki, hands chained holding her up and feet chained together. In a dark, wet hideout.
Well fuck her right.
"I must say you and your female partner made quiet the ruckus Miss Hyuga. Killing my people that took me a while to recruit. Just putting a further burden on me." Hinata did not make eye contact to the orange haired man and looked more so at his chin.
"Why don't you just kill me, this is pointless."
He just stared at her, tilting his head a bit to the side, she was so willing to die, she knew what pain was. "I am assuming this is something that you wish for, so I will not be granting you it. You can be an asset to me though."
"I have no interest in ending the world, or whatever it is that you want to do."
The man walked up to her and closed in on her personal space, that was when she noticed again the blue haired woman, Konan, with the flower in her hair. She had a blank stare at Hinata and that was when she noticed the woman sporting a healing bruised cheek, it was nice to see Ino got the best of her.
The man known as Pain walked up to her and grabbed her hand that had the curse mark and pulled the sleeve down, exposing the mark. "You see, I know Orochimaru very well. I know his tricks and how he works. I know some things about how his curse marks work."
He then gripped onto the curse mark and focused a heavy amount of chakra onto it.
"I also know how to bring you pain from it."
Her pain tolerance was high, but this pain was beyond intense. Hinata was surprised really, that she settled for biting inside her cheek. The pain was evident though, for she changed a whole different shade of red and began to sweat. Her breathing increased and she then made eye contact to the woman behind the man.
When he stopped Hinata started to breathe again and she wondered when she had stopped, "Is this okay with you? Watching as he tortures people. He's scum, and people that stand by and let shit like this happen is worse than people like him."
This appeared to anger Pain, "Do not talk to her like that." He assaulted the curse mark again to a higher degree and finally the Hyuga broke and let out a scream. She screamed and laughed at the same time; she was going into a psychotic meltdown at the moment. Really, how much worse could things get for her? It was almost comical how shitty her life had gotten.
Hinata briefly imagined herself in a colorful field of flowers, with cinnamon buns freshly baked littered everywhere and with candy land type music playing in the background. Sometimes when the training sessions with Orochimaru got so painful her mind would drift off to this world too. She could hear the 'La la la-la-la-la-la' play so loud in her head, it was almost like there was a live band playing beside her. Just like in her candy land world.
It suddenly started to smell sweet in there.
When the assault stopped Hinata let out a series of laughter, it was thick and hearty and was the type of laugh your oversized uncle would let out at a holiday dinner with a full belly. Her whole body broke out into a sweat and she looked up finally making eye contact with the demented man in front of her. "Okay, I take it back. She might not be scum, but you certainly are, and I should know about scum, I've been a member of the organization for quite some time."
"And you child is what is wrong with the world, and why I want to rid of it."
"You're right. You should kill me now, so the world has one less person like me."
He further frowned at her, "I see Orochimaru has done heavy damage to you. Maybe when this is all over and I have used you to the fullest, I will grant you your wish. Till then, I need you for my plan to invade the Hidden Leaf Village."
"I do not care what you do there, but I will not be helping you."
"Your will to resist is no longer their child, especially when it comes to your curse mark. All it takes for people like you is one little push. And breaking you will not be a problem for me."
Hinata watched as the blue haired woman pulled out a steel collar and chain from behind her and Pain's grip on her tightened more. She began to really notice her surroundings looked a lot similar to a torture room and she noticed a lot of the interesting gadgets it possessed.
"Trust me, the pain that Orochimaru put you through will be miniature compared to what I will do."
She didn't think he was a liar; she was sure the pain would be horrendous, that she was going to burst at any moment with the amount of pain he was inflicting. She mentally made an apology to Ino, Naruto and even Neji.
"By no way could you ever put me through anything worse than Lord Orochimaru."
He then began his assault on her again.
La la la-la-la-la-la
So the next chapter will be next week, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I felt like it was needed, to explain why Hinata was the way she was. I feel like at some point I'll make Ino a chapter like this as well. I am also thinking, not really sure if I'll have the time, but I was thinking of making a separate story off all the lemons that I didn't put in this story. Still debating on it, I'd like to finish this one first. Until next week guys!