It didn't take long for the Magic Council to show up and take the unconscious Siedge and Laka into custody. The dragons paced and growled the whole time, and when everyone was finally gone, all four of them immediately scattered and began exploring the room.
"Don't go too far!" Gray called as Natsu scrambled up onto the table where the strange book had been sitting. Natsu gave him an unimpressed look, then turned around and began chewing on something. Gray sighed. "You'd better not get yourself turned into something else," he muttered. Then he turned back to Freed, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor with the book on their lap. The symbols on the cover weren't moving anymore, but it still filled Gray with a strange sense of unease.
"Are you controlling that?" Freed asked. Gray frowned, then looked down at his arms and realized that his devil slayer magic had reappeared and was shifting across his skin. It didn't hurt this time, but he still felt a faint thread of nausea making its way up his throat.
"No." He focused on the magic, trying to pull it back, but all he succeeded in doing was spreading ice out under the ground and toward Freed. "What the hell," he whispered. The dizziness from earlier caught up with him and he swayed unsteadily, grabbing the chair next to him for balance.
"Come sit down," Freed said, setting the book next to them and covering it with their coat. They reached out and helped Gray settle on the ground next to them, and he breathed a sigh of relief when the marks faded. Sting, who appeared to have finished his inspection of the room, ran back over and hopped into Gray's lap. He stood up on his hind legs, rubbing his face against Gray's cheek and making a worried sound.
"I'm all right," Gray reassured him, stroking the soft fur behind Sting's ears. As he petted Sting, he noticed the red, blistered marks that circled his wrists, identical to the patterns of the magic bindings on the chair. "He tried to take it – again."
Freed's brow furrowed as they reached out and took Gray's arm, studying the blisters. "Why, though?" they murmured as they drew a quick rune over Gray's skin. The burns stayed where they were, but the pain receded a little, and Gray sighed in relief.
"Who knows?" he said bitterly, holding out his other wrist for the same rune. "I almost wish they would take it. I didn't ask for it and I don't know how to use it, and—"
Gray swallowed hard, caught off guard by the sudden urge to cry. "I—" He shook his head, trying to push back the lump in his throat and the heat in his cheeks. "I didn't—"
Then Natsu returned, crawling up onto Gray's knee and making a distressed sound, and Gray burst into tears.
"I'm sorry," he managed, covering his face with both hands. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."
"Gray," Freed said gently, moving over and wrapping their arm around him. "What are you apologizing for?"
"I didn't mean to—I couldn't—it didn't—"
Natsu hopped up onto Gray's shoulder and rubbed his face against the side of Gray's head, whining softly at him. Sting kept kneading the front of his shirt, headbutting Gray's chin and blinking in surprise when several tears landed on his head.
"I don't understand," Freed said as they ran their thumb across Gray's shoulder.
"I h-hurt Natsu," Gray whispered, rubbing at his face. It didn't make a difference – the tears kept falling, pushing through his fingers and running down his cheeks. He hadn't cried like this in years, not since he was eight and had screamed and cried at Ur for taking him away from his dead mother.
"I'm not sure what you mean," Freed said as Natsu chittered in Gray's ear, nipping at him and rubbing his head against Gray again.
"When—during the f-fight, and he was END, and I—it wasn't his fault and I couldn't stop myself, it was… the magic took over and I couldn't d-do anything, it was like I was watching myself and I hurt him, the magic wanted me to, it wanted me to kill him." The last words turned into a broken sob and Gray let Freed pull him closer.
"I'm sorry," they said softly. "I didn't know."
"It was only Erza, she… she stopped us, we were—I could have killed him. The magic, it wanted him gone and it was so angry, and I couldn't control it." He wiped at his face again and whispered, "I hate it. All it does is hurt people. It nearly got Sting killed and everybody said it wasn't my fault, but it was, and I don't want this magic. I don't want it and I wish they'd fucking taken it. You should have let them."
"Gray." Freed shook their head, but Gray interrupted them.
"I could have hurt you too, when you—" Gray gestured at Freed's eye. "It wanted me to. I c-care about you and love you, and I love Natsu, and it still wanted me to h-hurt you."
Natsu nipped at Gray's ear again, hard enough to sting and pull his attention away from his pain. Gray held out a hand and Natsu clambered into it, then rubbed his face against Gray's, pushing away the tears as he started to purr. It felt like an apology, like forgiveness, and Gray didn't know what to do with it.
"I love you," he said softly, kissing the top of Natsu's head. "I'm sorry."
He felt a gentle wave wash over him, pushing away the ache in his chest and replacing it with warmth. When he looked down, both Sting and Rogue were curled up in his lap, and even Laxus had clambered up on Freed's shoulder between the two of them and was nudging Gray's cheek.
"It wasn't your fault," Freed said. "You don't have anyone to teach you how to use this magic. The rest of us had a way to learn – books or mentors – but you don't have anything. Of course it's going to be scary trying to figure it out on your own. That doesn't make you a monster, though."
Gray sniffed, rubbing at his face as he shifted Natsu to the crook of his arm and held him against his chest. "I feel like one."
"So do I," Freed said gently. "I think we all do a little bit, sometimes. But you're not alone."
Rogue, Natsu and Sting all chittered in agreement, kneading Gray's pants and nuzzling him happily. Gray sighed, scratching Natsu's head and trying to let go of the anger and sadness that made him feel sick.
"Thanks," he said after a minute, bumping his head against Freed's, then sitting up and wiping his face. "Sorry, I don't—"
"No apologies," Freed said. "Aulhitub, remember?"
Gray managed a smile, then hissed in pain and surprise as Natsu dug his claws into Gray's arm and launched himself down across the floor.
"What the hell?" Gray muttered, wincing at the tiny pinpricks of blood that had appeared from Natsu's sharp claws. "What's wrong?"
Sting and Rogue watched, heads cocked, as Natsu skittered across the floor to the other side of the room, then scaled a small bookcase that was leaning against the wall. He grabbed something in his teeth and turned back around, wriggling for a moment and judging the distance before leaping back down the floor.
"What's this?" Gray asked as Natsu returned to them, dragging a sheet of parchment behind him. Words were written on it in Isvanian, just like the scroll that had cast the original transformation spell, and it had the Vengeance Soul guild mark in the same place.
"I'm not sure," Freed said, holding out their hand. Natsu wagged his tail happily, relinquishing his grip on the paper that now had several tiny holes along the top. He gave Freed a satisfied look and purred when they scratched behind his ears. Freed studied the paper, then reached into their inner coat pocket and pulled out the original parchment. They lay both of them down on the stone floor, staring at them with a furrowed brow.
"They look pretty similar," Gray said, tipping his head to try and read them. The writing still eluded him – he recognized a letter here and there, but the rest of it might has well have been gibberish. "Is it another spell?"
"Mm." Freed ran their fingers down both parchments, muttering under their breath as they compared the markings. "It could be a way to reverse the spell. It could also be something completely different that might explode in our faces, it's impossible to tell without being able to read it." They sighed in frustration.
Laxus hopped down from Freed's shoulder and sniffed the parchment curiously, but was quickly distracted when Rogue, who had disappeared from Gray's lap, popped out of the shadows behind him. Rogue tackled Laxus, making a pleased sound when Laxus tumbled onto his back. They immediately started to play, trying their best to bite each other while kicking with their back feet.
"You're ridiculous," Freed said, rolling their eyes as they rolled up both parchments and tucked them back into their pocket. "And certainly not helping."
Gray laughed as Sting stumbled out of his lap and darted over toward Rogue and Laxus, nipping at both of them and then yelping when Natsu sprung at him from behind. Sting growled playfully, biting at Natsu's feet and batting at his head.
"We should head back to the guild," Freed said, amusement on their face as they watched the mock battle. "I can work on the translation again. I'm sure the setback from last time was some nuance in the language that I missed."
Gray looked at Freed contemplatively, then sat up straighter as an idea came to him. "Why don't we try to find the village instead?" he suggested. "Maybe someone from there can help us. A native speaker would help more than a book, right?"
Freed's face lit up at the suggestion. "Yes, tremendously." They pushed themself up and dusted off their pants, then helped Gray up. "Maybe someone there would know about this as well," they said, scooping up both their jacket and the book underneath.
Gray looked away, still uneasy at the idea of being anywhere near the book and its strange magic. Exhaustion washed over him, but he pushed it aside, looking at the hole in the wall and considering their options.
"I'm not sure where we are," he said.
"Just north of our last camp," Freed says. They held out their hand and a set of runes coalesced in the air in front of them, quickly forming into something like a map. "There was another road heading this way—" they pointed to a spot east of them "—so that might be our best bet."
Gray nodded, then turned back to the dragons. Laxus was sitting on Sting now, who was growling at him and flicking his tail back and forth. Rogue and Natsu circled the pair, wriggling in excitement before Natsu launched himself forward, knocking Laxus to the ground and tackling Rogue at the same time.
"Come on," Gray said, making a soft kissing sound that immediately got all of the dragons' attention. "You can fight later, it's time to go."
It was late afternoon and the snow had stopped falling, but there was a chill breeze that followed them down the hill away from the desolate guild hall. The sun shone faintly in a pale blue sky, providing no warmth. Natsu stayed curled up under Gray's jacket, making grumbling noises every so often, while Rogue sat perched on Gray's shoulder. Sting, on the other hand, bounded happily through the powdered snow, burrowing underneath, and then popping up a few feet away to leap into the air and dive back down again.
Freed was quiet as they walked, and Gray was grateful for the silence. There was too much going on in his mind and his heart – too many feelings and memories. His thoughts skipped back and forth in a confusing mess, making it hard to pick apart the threads of grief.
One thought was of his mother, blood staining her parka as she told Gray to run. Another was of Natsu's wild, demon eyes, waiting for Gray to kill him. There was Sting, gasping for air as Natsu cauterized the wound on his stomach, and Siedge's dark eyes, and all the while the pattern of the demon marks, twisting and shifting in the background.
Night had almost fallen by the time Gray saw a wisp of smoke over the next hill.
"C'mon," he said, reaching down for Sting, who had returned from his exploring to sit at Gray's feet. He happily clambered up Gray's arms and onto his shoulder, licking Gray's cheek before settling inside the hood of his parka. A rumbling purr started up almost immediately and Gray smiled, tipping his head against Sting.
"Does it look familiar?" Freed asked as they crested the hill.
Gray stopped, staring down at the village spread out before them. It was small and cozy, made of several log buildings and tents of animal skins stretched over wooden frames. Lights flickered in the windows of the homes, and in the center of the village was an enormous bonfire, spilling sparks into the night sky. Around it sat a handful of people, and several children ran between them, shouting and laughing as they played.
"Gray?" Freed's hand on Gray's arm shook him out of his daze and he blinked. "Are you all right?"
"It's… that's it," he said quietly. Memory after memory flooded back to him – riding in the dog sled, bundled against the cold as they headed to see his grandparents – ataa and anaa. Sometimes his father would let him hold the reins to the sled, helping him guide the dogs through the snow, and other times he would curl up in the back with his mother, warm and safe as the wind howled.
"I thought it was destroyed—I thought… Deliora…"
Sting made a concerned sound and rubbed his head against Gray's cheek.
"I never came back," Gray whispered. "Why didn't I… I could have come back, I could have…" He shook his head and let out a shaky breath. "I barely remembered. Not until we got here, it was like… it was all blurry, I never thought…"
"There were lots of memories up here that you wanted to forget," Freed said gently. "It's not your fault."
Gray nodded, then took a deep breath and a step forward. "It's getting dark," he said, forcing himself forward into uncertainty. "Let's go."
The walk down the hill felt like it took hours, each step full of regret and anxious fear. All three dragons clambered up into Gray's hood as if sensing his uncertainty, and their soft purring and quiet chirps helped calm the storm in his chest.
As soon as they got close, a howling filled the air, and a large, wolf-like dog bounded out from behind one of the tents and charged at them. The dragons all immediately hissed, burrowing further into the warmth of Gray's hood.
"It's okay," Gray reassured them as the dog approached, wagging its tail, and panting at him. It looked more wolf than dog, and it stared at Gray with one ear cocked forward before letting out a low woof.
"Qinmiq!" A man's voice called out and the dog turned around, barking again. "Ata! Qaiaut!" The dog whined and started to trot back toward the village, and Freed and Gray followed cautiously. A man stood outside the tent nearest them, dressed in a thick fur parka with the hood up to protect against the cold. When he saw them, he waved."Aulhit," he called, gesturing for them to come forward. "Hitpii mit aulut?"
Gray frowned as he tried to remember what the words meant, then froze when the man pulled back his hood. He was old – probably in his seventies – with long, dark hair and bright eyes set into weathered brown skin. As he studied Gray, the friendly smile on his face quickly transformed to surprise, then disbelief.
"Gray?" he whispered, stepping forward and grabbing Gray's face with both mittened hands. Gray couldn't do anything but stare up into the eyes that were so, so familiar – eyes that looked just like his.
"Ataa?"
a/n: once again the isvanian is made up but based on inuinnaqtun. the only words taken from the actual language are mom, dad, gramma and grampa.