Chapter 8
"Lizzy," Mr. Bennet called from the open door of his bookroom as she went past.
Peering in at her father she said, "Hello father," with a smile.
"We appear to have had quite the to do this morning. I understand from Mr. Collins that Lady Catherine herself put in an appearance."
"Yes. Her and Anne have arrived in Hetfordshire."
"Much to the detriment of the peace in the area I imagine. Before she gets to out of hand perhaps it would be wise to invite Henry to visit."
"And here I thought you found Lady Catherine's antics vastly amusing."
"Under normal circumstances, when they are not about to happen right under my nose, in my own home. We shall have no peace. Unlike your mother, Lady Catherine will not wait for an invitation before invading my bookroom and cutting up my peace with her bit of frankness, as she likes to call it."
"So it is not for the sake of your neighbors that you wish to invite Uncle Henry to share your bookroom."
"What my dear, do we live for if not to laugh at our neighbors and be laughed at in turn? Henry has the power to appeal to a higher power, the Earl. Perhaps for your sake he will bring Richard along to put the haughty Mr. Darcy in place, if Lady Catherine has not already. Mary claims Mr. Collins announced him to be the nephew of Lady Catherine last night."
"Apparently so," Elizabeth said dryly.
"Hmmmm," Mr. Bennet said thoughtfully. "I do see a family resemblance now between the two. Both are rather proud individuals, impressed with their own consequence."
Elizabeth laughed at this and said, "Mr. Darcy is perhaps not quite as bad as my first impression led me to believe. "
"So he will share another trait with Lady Catherine, being reigned in by you. Well if Mr. Darcy's pride is to come under your regulation, I am sure he will be well managed. Managing both him and Lady Catherine though will be taxing on you, so I will invite Henry as planned. He, I am sure, will appreciate the show."
"Father!"
"I speak as I find Lizzy," Mr. Bennet said camly.
"It is rude to blatantly refer to Lady Catherine, his aunt and elder, as a show," Elizabeth rebuked him.
"She was not the show I referred too," was his placid reply.
Elizabeth's brow furrowed in confusion, but dismissing her father's comments, she bid him goodbye and continued up the stairs, occupied with her own thoughts. Mr. Darcy's arrival earlier had thrown the parlor into confusion. Mrs. Bennet had rudely demand to know why he was not on his way to London. Frowning, his displeasure clear on his face, he had answered that plans had changed. Mrs. Bennet had pressed him for more details, with hints regarding Bingley's return, when Mr. Collins had entered the fray.
Mr. Collins had triumphantly explained his knowledge of the situation, that his great patroness, Lady Catherine de Bough, was Mr. Darcy's esteemed aunt. He had went on to conjure that Lady Catherine had choosen to spend time in the area to assist him with his search for a wife, and that Mr. Darcy had stayed to provide comfort for his Aunt and cousin, as well as counsel for himself. Darcy's face during this explanation had if possible, grown stiffer. Elizabeth had attempted to hold in her laughter, recalling how a few hours before Mr. Collins had been dejected and believed his patroness disappointed with him. It was all for naught though, thanks to Mr. Darcy.
Darcy, for his part, had been disgusted with Mrs. Bennet's encroaching questions into what he considered matters that were not her own and displeased with Collins' conjectures. Seeing the sparkle in Elizabeth's eyes as she held back her laughter, showed him the situation in a new light though. Seeing things from this fresh perspective and unused to having to hold in laughter, a loud laugh had escaped Darcy. While the rest of the parlor stared at him in shock, Elizabeth had given into her own laughter, which increased Darcy's own enjoyment of the situation and he too laughed heartily.
…
Henry,
I suggest you set aside whatever musty tome has you in its thrall and set out quickly for Longbourn. I have recently been made to understand that one Mr. Darcy is in fact your cousin. The gentleman has insulted our Lizzy (perhaps you should bring Richard), been seen recently to dance with her (another reason to bring Richard), and lately has been heard laughing with her (best tell Richard to come prepared with sword and pistol).
Thomas Bennet
P.S. Your aunt has entered the fray here was well.
P.P.S. Bring along your musty tome, it might provide further amusement if things get dull here after matters are settled.
Arranging for his letter to be set express, Mr. Bennet smiled with satisfaction.
...
Darcy regarded his aunt and Miss Bingley warily from the doorway, just out of sight of the rooms occupants. The two appeared to be circling each other like rival wolves, eyeing each other quietly. Lady Catherine had seated herself in grand style, while Miss Bingley elegantly promenaded around the room. Mr. and Mrs. Hurst were seated together on a small couch. Anne, exhusted from the day, was resting in her rooms with her companion, Mrs. Jenkinson attending her.
When Darcy entered the room both females' eyes lit up. Miss Bingley sashyed toward him and Lady Catherine boomed loudly, "Your back! Excellent, my obligation has been met and now I may begin." Addressing Miss Bingley, she continued, "Miss Bingley do stop your ridiculous display. Need I remind you that you are the daughter of a tradesman, not a duchess? I like to preserve the distinction of rank. On that note, you are overdressed. Furthermore, my rooms are barely adequate. I require exactly seven pillows on my bed, yet you have seen fit to only provide five. You shall remedy this. I prefer an eastern view at this time of day, this parlor has a western view. It shall only be used until midday, past that I expect us to sit in a parlor with a eastern view. Tommorrow I shall assist you in selecting the proper parlor."
As his aunt paused for breath, Darcy jumped in saying, "Aunt may I escort you to dinner?" offering her his arm, which she grasped.
"You may nephew, though I hesitate to consider what I may find on the table. One never knows what type of table a tradesman may set."
"My brother is a gentleman, " Miss Bingley protested, not quite recovered from Lady Catherine's verbal assult.
"I never said Mr. Hurst was not. But my understanding was that you were the hostess for Mr. Bingley, not Mrs. Hurst," Lady Catherine declared as she sailed out of the room pulling on Darcy's arm to bring him with her.
Darcy silently closed his eyes and reflected that his aunt had potentially worse manners then Mrs. Bennet. Mrs. Bennet, while improper and vulgar, was civil.
"Do not look like that William," Lady Catherine said near his ear before taking her seat. "I promised Lizzy I would behave while she kept you occupied. You are back, therefore she is no longer occupying your time and I was free to make my sentiments known. Now seat me as a proper gentleman should."
Realizing his aunt had directed him to take her to the hostess seat, so she could usurp Miss Bingley, he hissed, "Aunt Catherine!" and walked her to a different seat.
Once everyone was settled at the table Lady Catherine turned her gimlet eye on Miss Bingley and said, "I understand Miss Bingley, that you, your sister and her husband intend to make for town. You may assure your brother, Mr. Bingley that we, along with William, await him here and that I shall step in as his hostess."
"That won't be necessary my lady," Miss Bingley fawned. "I would never dream of leaving such high ranking company like yourself to fend for yourself against the inhabitants of this region. The encroaching mushrooms to be found here are appalling." Despite her rocky begining in the parlor with the great Lady, Miss Bingley was determined to win her favor and thereby be a step closer in winning the hand of the Master of Pemberley. Despite her single introduction to Mr. Darcy's aunt, the Countess of Matlock, she had not been able to further her goal. She had carefully contrived to call on Miss Darcy, while Lady Matlock was visiting and engineer an introduction. Unbeknownst to Miss Bingley, the countess had been prepared to meet Mr. Bingley's sister with an open mind, given her approval of Mr. Bingley. Unfortunately Miss Bingley was nothing like her brother and the countess had requested that Miss Bingley never be admitted to her presence again.
"Encroaching mushrooms, Miss Bingley?" Lady Catherine asked.
"Yes, by far the worst of the lot is a local family by the name of Bennet. They have attempted to sink their hooks into my brother. Mr. Darcy," here Miss Bingley paused, to flutter her eyelasshes at him, before continuing, "has agreed to asist our family in saving my brother from such a disgraceful connection."
Lady Catherine hurumphed but said nothing. Darcy spoke up and said, "Miss Bingley, I have rethought the matter and believe it is not my place to interfer with my friend. Miss Bennet afterall is the daughter of a gentleman.'
"But what of her connections to trade?" Miss Bingley exclaimed.
"Her connections to trade are further from it than Bingley's own," Darcy said with a shrug. Then turning towards his aunt, he changed the subject, inquiring about her journey to Hertfordshire.
Darcy was relieved when the evening came to a close and it was time to retire. His aunt had been reasonably behaved, after her initial outburst. He was surprised when before retiring she addressed Miss Bingley saying, "Miss Bingley, I have decided to assist you. It is high time a woman of your age married. You are 25 years old. While I am here I shall ensure you are settled in a worthy match."
Miss Bingley smiled in delight and thanked the great Lady for her kind consideration.
…
The next morning Lady Catherine bustled into her daughter's room, ready to begin planning her campaigns. She addressed her daughter thus, "Anne you will be quite pleased to know I have decided on how we shall be rid of Mr. Collins in Kent."
Anne raised her eyebrow and said, "You cannot take the living away after giving it mother. You gave it to Mr. Collins and now we are stuck with his society."
"I cannot take it away, but he can be persuaded to give it up."
"And how then is he to survive? Especially if he follows your directive to get himself a wife."
"He shall simply marry a wife with a healthy dowry. One that allows him to live in town awaiting the day he manages his own estate."
"Miss Mary Bennet does not have a healthy dowry Mother," Anne said in exasperation.
"But Miss Caroline Bingley does. Her sister married a gentleman that is heir to a small estate and awaits the day he will become master. There is no reason Miss Bingley should not do the same."
"Miss Bingley expects a better match."
"Miss Bingley is the daughter of a tradesman, her expectations are to high. She makes herself an object of ridcule."
"And what of Miss Mary? And Longbourn?"
"I shall give the living to another single clergyman and arrange for him to marry Miss Mary. With Miss Bingley's brother married to Jane, Longbourn will be secure once she is married to Mr. Collins. Afterall Jane's marriage will make Miss Bingley sister to the Bennets."
"You do have things figured out rather nicely. But how are we to induce Miss Bingley to marry Mr. Collins?"
"Strategy Anne, strategy. And perhaps an appropriate push. The Bennets and Longbourn are connected to the Matlocks, not a connection to be sneered at."
"Lizzy does not broadcast to the world that Cousin Henry is her Godfather."
"Then I shall boast of Longbourn's connection for her. It is important that we set the stage for Miss Bingley. Besides knowing Thomas, I won't have to do much boasting. I would imagine my other nephews are soon to be on their way to Hertfordshire."
Anne looked doubtfully at her mother. Her cousin Henry was dedicated to his scholarly work, he preferred not to leave his studies. His dedication to them, was in large part, the reason at 45, he still had not done his duty to his title and married. A wife and children, he claimed, was a distraction he did not need.
"My character is celebrated for my frankness. Thomas and Henry are cut from the same cloth, they enjoy being amused by others. They both also enjoy their peace and quiet. My frankness, Thomas very well knows, will interfere with his cherished quiet. He will have written to his friend, in hopes that his friend can exert influence, as a memeber of the family, over my actions. A ridiculous notion," Lady Catherine snorted, "but very like Thomas. And Thomas's wife will not be able to keep such fantastic news about Henry's identity to herself.
"Then what is on the agenda for today?"
"Lizzy shall take tea with us. No need to mention our plans to her, she would likely disapprove and accuse me of meddling. Mrs. Jenkinson can naturally be counted on to assist. I shall send Collins a note commanding him to attend me later today."
A knock sounded at the door and Lady Catherine bid the person to enter. Mrs. Jenkinson stepped in bearing a small tray that held Anne's tonic. Smiling she said, "I used the ruse of preparing your tonic myself, to scout out the information."
"Well done Mrs. Jenkinson," Lady Catherine said pleased. "What have you learned?'
"Miss Bingley has set her cap at your nephew, without a doubt your ladyship," Mrs. Jenkinson began.
"Something we are all already very aware of," Lady Catherine interrupted.
"Yes, my lady, but it seems she is increasingly desperate given the attention Mr. Darcy has been paying to Miss Lizzy."
"She plans a compromise?" Anne gasped.
"I do not believe so. But she is angry and therefore reckless."
"Angry people are seldom wise," Lady Catherine observed.
"A wise woman would not marry Mr. Collins," Anne added smiling.
"Then we had best make Miss Bingley very very angry," Lady Cathrine said smiling slyly back.