Usagi
He kisses me.
Mamoru kisses me!!!!
My goodness, where am I!!! His hands are EVERYWHERE...I'm running out of air, I simply cannot breathe...but it doesn't matter! Mamoru kisses me! Me, Usagi Tsukino!
"What, you of all people? You're such a scatterbrain, a complete loser, a klutz and a little crybaby!"
"She can't even walk a hundred meters without bumping into at least five things!"
"What can she offer him? Usagi is just an ordinary girl...with nothing but bad grades!"
All these voices around us, they startle us and get louder and louder!
Desperately, I tear myself away from Mamoru and try to cover my ears with my hands...and still I hear them shouting at me, taunting me, calling me names...
"NO! Stop that right now! Leave her alone!!!"
Mamoru steps in front of me...wearing armor as noble as a knight. He pulls out his long sword, ready to defend me.
But against whom?
Suddenly I no longer hear many voices, but only one...cruel...drunk with contempt and consumed by anger and spurned love, it calls out to me
"So YOU are the princess of the moon...I don't want to see your pretty face here!!!"
A hand suddenly appears in front of my eyes, equipped with sharp red claws. It's going to kill me...faster and faster it races towards me...I can't move, only hold my hands protectively in front of my face...it's too late...I can't...there! At the very last second it is stopped...inches from me.
The world has stopped and something red is stuck in the ground...a rose?
A loud chirping, very familiar to me, snaps me out of this strange dream. Half-asleep, I look at the dial of my chicken alarm clock with half-open eyes...and startle myself terribly!
"Oh no oh no oh no...I'm going to be late for school!!!!!!"
If any member of my family were at home, at least one would have tinitus from my panicked squeals by now! I run frantically back and forth, tear off my pajamas, take a running jump into my school uniform, do a makeshift cat wash in the bathroom, a topknot has come undone overnight and my hair hangs down in a half-open tangled mess. I grab another hair tie, a few clips and fly down the stairs.
Food is out of question, I have NO time to eat! Quickly I grab the school bag, put on my shoes and rush through the front door out to my usual race track ... until I stop abruptly just behind the entrance.
Standing at the garden gate is...Mamoru...and parked behind him on the street is his red Alfa Romeo RZ!
"Uhhh...good morning?" I look at Mamoru as if he's from another world. He smiles back slightly and gestures for me to join him. So if he's going to take me to school in that car, I'm going to freak out!
"Good morning Usagi...did you sleep in okay?" I'm still so flabbergasted by this impressive view that I don't even notice his teasing comment at first. After two seconds, however, the penny drops.
"Hey!" I reply, slightly pouting, "that game yesterday was so exhausting. I fell into bed totally tired right after I got home and didn't hear the alarm clock the first time."
That's right, I think I even forgot to eat something ... because just at this moment my stomach reports to me. I get insane hunger!
My stomach growl has obviously called Mamoru's attention ...how embarrassing! He smiles slightly again and then pulls out a bento box from his jacket pocket. It's all black and adorns a red rose on the lid. How pretty! Uhhh, wait a minute...a red rose? There was something!
"The dream!" it slips out of my mouth before I can think about it properly. Mamoru's gaze is suddenly wide awake.
"What?" he asks, a hint of uncertainty resonating in his voice.
"Ahhh nothing, I just didn't sleep that well..." I hurry to say, take the food box offered to me and get in on the passenger side, the door of which Mamoru opens for me as a matter of course and extremely gallantly helps me get in. What a service! I could really get used to this.
Being driven to school, food on board, almost more beautifully prepared than Makoto's infamous bento boxes...it's insane! I feel like a princess right now! Except for the fact that I have to go to school!
I'm sure real princesses have much more amazing things to do all day long; sniffing flowers in the palace garden, walking around the palace, or rather, floating gracefully, attending a ball, and being asked to waltz by a masked gentleman in a tuxedo!
Ah, if only I could be a real princess...or at least a superheroine like Sailor V...she at least gets to do something cool like chase bad guys and save the world. I'm just a normal, boring girl. At least with Mamoru I have a real dream prince as...well as what actually?
"Thank you so much," I mumble into the dashboard as Mamoru starts the engine. "If it wasn't for you, I'd definitely get detention today."
"You're welcome...I really enjoy doing this, Usak...Usagi."
His brief glance over to me before fixing on the road again...it's so full of warmth. My heart immediately beats faster every time I see him. His nearness calms me and makes me nervous at the same time. I can hardly sit still next to him. I would love to kiss him...but I am so unsure and don't know how he would react.
For a little eternity, neither of us says anything. The opportunity for me to get my topknot in shape...which is not so easy when you don't have a mirror and your hand is shaking so badly from nervousness. Just as we turn the corner where my school comes into view, Mamoru clears his throat all at once.
"Usagi," at the same time, we both look at each other. "Could I ask you for something?"
"What?" I think I just breathed that rather than said it.
He suddenly seems so serious and I almost expect him to say that we'd better not see each other again...or that he's going abroad for a year, preferably to the other end of the world. America or something! I think I'm going to be sick. I almost crush the car door handle with my sweaty hand.
"I would like to ask you...for a date."
Did we just stop or why is everything standing still for me?!
"A date? You ask me out? Really?" I seem to be staring at Mamoru in a really dumb way, because he smirks slightly and then pokes his finger at my forehead.
"Yes, you little Odango Atama...I'd like to have a proper date with you...with all the trimmings."
If this were a carbriolet, I'd be jumping high in the air immediately! A date with Mamoru Chiba? HURRAY!!! And a real one at that, not some cheesy study date but a decent candlelight dinner, including a romantic walk at sunset, maybe a fair visit with tons of cotton candy, sweet popcorn, candied apples, an "I love you" gingerbread heart and...a passionate kiss! I close my eyes briefly, take a deep breath...and then show him my 1 million watt Usagi grin.
"I would very much like to have a date with you, Baka."
Oh my god...did I just call him a jerk???????
But Mamoru's previous smirk contorts into a very, very wide grin!
He must be into unusual terms of endearment, because before I can unbuckle, he leans over and pulls me so close to him that our lips are only a few inches apart. It's only a breath I hear before he kisses me.
"Usako."
Mamoru
She wants to go out with me! With me, Mamoru Chiba...and not with Endymion or with my masked superhero alter ego Tuxedo Mask! Slowly, I begin to believe that I'm really on the right track to winning Usagi over. A glimmer of hope sprouts up in me, which immediately gives me a comforting warm feeling around my heart.
Our date has to be absolutely perfect!!!
Slowly I open my eyes and look into this beautiful sky blue, which I may have known for many centuries, but whose magic and depth always fascinate me anew.
Still these eyes lack the sparkle of memories of their former life...but maybe it doesn't need that! I see much more growing affection towards me in these shining eyes. I must not slacken in my efforts! No Luna, no Natsumi, no being in this world will be able to stop me from winning Usagi back!
The ringing of the school bell wakes us from this trance-like state. Usagi quickly unbuckles her seatbelt and yanks open the passenger door. Before she gets out of the car, she turns to me again. Has she forgotten something?
"The day after tomorrow? Today and tomorrow I'm already booked with two girls' nights out." she speaks to me with an apologetic expression on her pretty face.
"Yes, sounds perfect to me." I just reply and watch her give me that unique Usagi smile again. The next moment she's gone, rushing up the stairs to the school building.
I already know who is invited to her party tomorrow. I am already one step ahead since yesterday evening. After the performance of the four Sailor warriors in the VR theater and my hero defense of Usagi, it was clear that Usagi is the only one who can't remember her former life.
Immediately after the end of the game, Ami had given me a sign to leave this theater as soon as possible. Rei had silently formed a word with her mouth; Hikawa.
So I said goodbye without a word and then hurried to the temple in a direct way. A few minutes later, the Sailor warriors had also arrived.
It was quite weird indeed. The last time they had seen me, I was still under the spell of the Dark Kingdom. Except for Minako, however, I still remembered them all in their civilian form. Including, of course, Rei and her crush on me.
Before I could say anything to her in that regard, she rebuffed and just stated with a sincere smile on her face.
"Please don't worry about me at all, Mamoru. The issue has been through since the Imperial Silver Crystal appeared...it's fine with me."
You really have to hand it to Rei. She always wears her heart on her sleeve and is an absolutely sincere person. And a truly virtuous Sailor warrior at that! I give her a quick nod and a small, grateful smile back.
"So...let's get to the real reason we met...apparently we can all remember our past lives." Ami had stated, opening the discussion. With a serious expression, she then continued. "All of us...except Usagi. And therein lies our problem."
"Wait a minute, you have to explain something to me. How come the cats don't know what's going on?" This question had been burning on my mind the whole time, so I asked it right at the beginning.
"That's pretty simple" Minako took over the explanation "Luna lives with Usagi and Artemis hangs out with Luna all the time. If Luna knew the truth about us warriors, she might give Usagi her memories back after all...and we don't want that."
"But why would Luna do that, please?"
I didn't understand the world at that point. Hadn't I already discussed a strategy with the two cats what to do, would a Sailor warrior remember her former life after all? For me this argumentation of the warriors simply made no sense.
The girls were silent for a few moments...until Rei finally took heart and told me the reason for their actions so far.
"Luna was in Tokyo with Artemis at the time we were at the North Pole. They didn't catch what happened there. Usagi saw each and every one of us die...in a very gruesome way. After we were born again, each of us had this memory of Usagi...of her face...watching us die."
I noticed Rei's voice becoming more and more shaky with each word. Tears were forming in her eyes. Makoto finally took over to explain further.
"On the very first day after we were reborn by the Imperial Silver Crystal, all of us gathered here at Hikawa Temple...it had always been our meeting place for all activities and therefore a magical attraction for each of us...However, after Usagi didn't show up, we concluded that she couldn't remember and agreed to let Luna and Artemis believe that we were like Usagi. Ami and I had already suspected this in the morning at school, because Usagi hadn't greeted us and hadn't made any other effort to talk to us. We were practically invisible to her."
"Now, if the cats got wind of the fact that Usagi was the only one who didn't remember, then surely Luna would give Usagi back her memories, too. For whatever reason she no longer has any...but we don't want her to...for the aforementioned reason."
I had to admit that it sounded plausible when you looked at it from their perspective. Only, the senshi obviously had no idea that it was Usagi's wish for the Silver Crystal to have everyone resume a normal life...without any memories.
"Even though you want Usagi to remain without memories of her past life, you do everything you can to protect her and want to be near her." that was more of a statement than a question on my part, and as I looked into the faces of Makoto, Rei, Minako, and Ami, I understood that they felt similarly to me; they were torn up inside about Usagi's current state.
"She is the Moon Princess, the rightful heir of the Silver Millennium, and the only one capable of using the Imperial Silver Crystal. It is our absolute duty to protect her...her job is to protect this world from evil...and as long as no one tries to harm the earth, Usagi may and must live a happy life. We simply do not have the right to disturb that peace."
After finishing her plea, it almost seemed like Minako had to convince herself with her words.
"I don't know if it was really Usagi's wish that we all have memories from our past lives and she remains in absolute ignorance regarding her true identity...this is nothing but a lie she lives in after all!!!!"
I know I've stroked a nerve with this, because I've already made this argument in my inner battle with myself as well...and it weighs heavily...I could see that in all their faces.
"We are still in a sort of analysis process to be honest and will be meeting with Usagi the day after tomorrow to get more information regarding her memory. Just the fact that she almost said her transformation spell out loud earlier gives me a lot to think about."
Ami looked at me with a cool, scientific look...but I could see behind that facade.
The girls also doubt whether Usagi's current condition will help her live the happy life they aspire for her.
"...At the apex of the heart, the thighs divide further into Purkinje fibers, which come into contact with the cardiac fibers of the working muscles."
I slowly step out of my flashback and find myself in the middle of an anatomy lecture. I didn't catch the entire last hour. Quite impressive! That really rarely happens to me. Never, actually. But before I devote my concentration to building up the heart, I prefer to sink back into my daydreams today.
Usagi
As extraordinary as this day has begun, it continues. First, Ms. Sakurada praises me for my punctuality, then there is an unexpected learning test in history, in which I actually know the correct answer to every question (I wonder if this is because of the thick book on Greek mythology that I still have lying around at home), and for whatever reason, Natsumi is absolutely friendly and obliging towards me.
This morning, she immediately approached me and embraced my arm as if she were my very best friend. As if nothing had happened in the VR theater yesterday. I'll blame it on her absolute over-enthusiasm that she was such a witch to me yesterday. Still, I always have such a strange feeling about her and just can't trust her.
Now she's standing a bit apart with her brother during the break and whispering something. By the way, the lucky one got bento boxes from all the girls again today. He must inhale them or something...I actually never see either of them eat! Quite funny. Naru finally snaps me out of my thoughts.
"Hello, hello...earth to Usagi! What are you dreaming of? Ahhhh...surely from your dream man from the VR theater! Say, where do you know him from anyway?"
Before I can answer Naru, Umino interferes again. Right now I'm rather grateful to him, but honestly, I'm looking forward to this afternoon with my best friend...without Umino. He can be a real pain in the neck sometimes.
"This dream man must be terribly rich! I did some research on him yesterday..." Umino adjusts his glasses and pulls out a folded piece of paper from his pocket. Highly concentrated, he reads his bullet points to us.
"Mamoru Chiba is 18 years old and lives in a luxury apartment in Azabu-Juban. He is a first-semester medical student at Keio University. He is said to be exceptionally intelligent and to lead a very secluded life despite his wealth - among other things, he has quite an impressive fleet of cars to show for it. He never goes to parties, has only a few friends, and even more so has never been seen in public with a female companion by his side!!!"
I'm speechless, Umino should really become a journalist when he grows up, as much as he always researches and gets out around anything and everything.
"Oh wow, then you seem really special to this mysterious millionaire, Usagi!"
Naru has that rapturous gleam in her eye again. I think she's really exaggerating. Besides, I'm less interested in whether Mamoru has money or not...rather, I'd like to get behind his secret, because it's more than obvious that he's hiding something from me!
Perhaps he reveals this secret to me on our date. At some point he has to...because I seem to play a certain role in it...the way he sometimes looks at me. Full of guilt and pain.
"I don't think so, Naru." I finally reply with a slight shrug of my shoulders "what's so special about me?!"
If I didn't know better, I'd think Naru and Umino were hiding something from me too, the way they're looking at me right now. Oh well, I'm already seeing ghosts! Today is just a very strange day, yes!
After a few more hours at school, the bell finally rings and Naru and I immediately make our way to my house. We walk through my beloved Juban district.
There, for example, is the Game Crown Arcade where I love to play video games. We continue towards OsaP-Store, the jewelry store of Naru's mom, and finally we walk past Café Amigo, where I once secretly spied on Rei because she dragged Mamoru-Baka to go there on a date with her. God, I was so jealous...HOLD ON !!!!!!!!!
"Usagi, what's wrong with you all of a sudden? Did you just see a ghost?" Naru is obviously very concerned about my state of mind, but I also don't seem to look sane at the moment.
"I...I'm fine. I think lately my mind has been playing tricks on me every now and then...I'm remembering things that I didn't experience like that. It's always all of a sudden. Out of nowhere...oh I don't know. Come on, let's hurry home. I want to finally get this scarf done!"
I walk on quickly and don't even turn around to look at Naru. Just away from this strange situation. Actually, I want this day to pass quite quickly.
Mamoru
"Dahlias?"
"Stand for dignity and grace. That fits very well...but somehow more to Serenity than Usagi, to be honest."
Makoto has been exactly the right choice in two ways to advise me on what I want to do today; she knows everything about flowers AND knows Usagi very well.
Right now we're standing at her favorite florist shop, talking about the appropriate flowers for the perfect bouquet. Or better said, Sailor Jupiter holds me so far a lecture after the other about botany. Yesterday Makoto was so nice and gave me quite good hints for Usagi's bento this morning. Usagi seems to have been very pleased with my selection...at least that's what Makoto told me after watching Usagi during the break, as she inhaled the entire contents of the box in just under thirty seconds.
"Wouldn't a single rose perhaps be better? It would be more in keeping with my...style, after all."
I try again to convince Makoto of my idea but she rebuffs my attempt directly and grabs some flowers I've never seen before.
"Popoycock...it's called 'say it with flowers', not with flower. That's the best way and will definitely blow Usagi's mind..." With a slight eye roll, she adds
„a single red rose...man, that's so hackneyed, it's nothing to write home about! Besides..."
There's that scrutinizing look from her again!
"...you're not the Bachelor!"
Point for Makoto.
I sigh and drop down on a chair. Of course, it's hard as a board. After what feels like an eternity, Makoto is finally done with her pre-selection and now begins to list various flower names and their meaning to me.
"So white lilies in any case, because they stand for light and thus for true love! Forget-me-not is of course also obvious...it symbolizes loyalty. Ranunculus is a great way to represent the magical attraction between you. Red chrysanthemums round out your bouquet for Usagi, because when you give these flowers, all the signals are for love."
"I am honestly impressed by your vast expertise...but do you really think I can win Usagi over this way?"
"Of course, you could also stick a card in her that says you're Endymion and she's Serenity...might be helpful, but would be a bit crude by my standards!"
Minako has just arrived at the flower store. When she heard that I could use a little support to win Usagi back for me via a date, she was immediately on fire. I don't know if she gave herself the title of "warrior of love and beauty", but she is firmly convinced that she is an expert in the field of love.
After all, I can't be at the karaoke party tomorrow, and if someone puts in a good word for me with Usagi, that's fine with me. Right now, though, I'd rather be with Motoki at the Crown with a cup of black coffee in my hand.
"Okay fine, we'll take the bouquet...but I insist on a red rose in it!"
The two warriors just grin at me and I am actually very happy to have found new allies for my mission.
Usagi
"So if Umino's neck is about as wide as mine, the scarf would go around at least once already."
Naru has stood up and is looking at her crocheted work contentedly in front of my mirror. I just sigh and look down at the scarf in my hands. After all, thanks to Naru's motivation, I've already made quite a bit of progress. It could fit Shingo already.
"A few more days will be needed I think. Hopefully I'll manage to finish it by next week."
"Why? You still have plenty of time, and it won't take much at all." Naru furrows her brow and looks at me questioningly.
"Well, I'm booked out for the next couple of days...tomorrow the girls from the VR theater are coming over after school and the day after tomorrow...I have...a uhh date...or something like that."
"A DATE?????!" Naru jumps over to me and grabs me by my shoulders. "Like, with Mamoru Chiba? The boy who so heroically defended you in the Virtual Reality Theater?"
A slight nod from me without comment is enough for Naru to freak out completely.
"That's terrific! Usagi, you're such a lucky girl! What are you wearing?"
I'm just about to put quite a damper on Naru's euphoria, because I mumble into my scarf.
"Well, I don't know if I should really be doing this."
"What? Are you crazy? Where did you come up with that now?"
Yup, Naru is not thrilled at all. Time to tell her about my concerns. After all, she's my best friend and knows me inside out.
"I've only known Mamoru for a few days, and yes, I really do feel like I'm in an absolute dream with him. He's...so close and dear to me and with him I feel like he can protect me from anything...it's just...he's keeping something from me...and I don't know why."
Now it's out. Finally been put on the table. Relatively out loud. I so want to tell this boy that I love him too, want to be with him forever, and that I can't think of anyone else who could ever touch my heart the way he does. As crazy as it sounds, that's the deep feeling inside me whenever I sink into his ocean blue eyes.
But: he's hiding something from me and I absolutely can't handle that! Naru has suddenly gone very quiet and she looks sad. She sits down opposite me, wraps her arms around her legs and stares into space. I have never seen my best friend like this before.
"You have to know, Usagi...I met a man once...he was incredibly handsome, a grown up gentleman and really courted me. I was really blown away, absolutely fascinated by him. He also had a secret that he couldn't share with me at first...because it would have put me in danger. I didn't know it at the time, but decided for myself that I could trust him. My gut told me...and it was probably my heart that spoke to me and asked me to be patient and wait."
I can hardly believe what Naru is revealing to me right now. When did this happen with the man and why didn't she tell me as her best friend?
"Naru," I finally bring out. Accusing her now doesn't make any sense right now. "What happened?"
Naru looks at me briefly and then averts her gaze to my open window out into the pitch black night where the wind plays in the snow-white curtains.
"It finally proved that it was good not to have known anything before, because...he had been working in some obscure secret organization and someone tried to betray him. Unfortunately...it worked and...he didn't survive the attack."
At her last sentence, Naru has turned to me and bravely contorted her face into a sad smile. Tears fall from her closed eyes and slowly trickle down her reddened cheeks.
I really didn't know and I'm stunned that I didn't notice. This just can't be true!!!!
"What...what was his name?"
'Think Usagi, search your memory for that infinitely sad story...find the key to that locked door right in front of you. There are a thousand at the moment and each one is firmly locked. Only very rarely one spontaneously stood open a crack wide...to close again directly afterwards; in the elevator with Mamoru, in the library, in the VR theater, when I walk through my neighborhood...in my dreams.'
"His real name was Nephrite. Not even Sailor Moon could protect him, yet she saved me so many times. I wish it would have worked. Then maybe everything would be different now...but that's life, what can I do."
The key snaps into the lock, I take one deep breath and then turn it. I courageously push open the heavy door to a part of my memory. I am more than curious to see what awaits me.