Sorry this chapter is a little stressful. I promise there's a purely fluff one coming soon! ;)

Warning: Attempted sexual assault

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. Art work by the extremely talented Viktoria Ridzel (Instagram: viria94)

The next week passed by quickly as almost every girl in the hall stopped Lily to ask her about her new tryst with the infamous Sirius Black. "How'd you meet?" "I don't remember you being one of his girls," "Have you guys already…?" It was all rather exhausting. Eventually she'd snapped and started telling people they'd already broken up — nothing to see here! ("Oh, so it was just for the birthday sex?")

The only person who seemed genuinely happy with the turn of events was Benjy. At least Head meetings were noticeably more harmonious without Benjy slowly inching farther and farther away from her in his seat. If Lily didn't know any better, she'd even venture to say Benjy seemed to be flirting with her again. (For fuck's sake…)

Then there was Quidditch: Sarah Bell had the team practicing almost daily. One of the Beaters made the mistake of pointing out the game on Saturday was Hufflepuff versus Ravenclaw — and not them. This resulted in practice going an extra hour longer and with a lot more scolding.

"Ugh, I'm so tired," Lily complained, throwing herself face-first onto James' bed after she'd snuck to his room after a grueling practice.

James smiled as he sat down next to her. "Want a massage?"

"Does Dumbledore love the color purple?" she grinned back at him.

"That's a hell yes," he chimed, straddling her bum.

His hands felt like magic kneading her aching shoulder blades. "Remind me to never let you go," she moaned into his pillow.

"As you wish, babe." Maybe pet names aren't so bad…

Lily put on a yellow cardigan Saturday as she and her friends prepared to go to the pitch for the Quidditch match. It would help Gryffindor in the Cup standing if Hufflepuff won, so that's who they were going to be rooting for.

Beth sighed. "You know, I always like it so much better when you can watch with us so you can tell me what the hell is going on. Dorcas isn't quite as good with the play-by-plays."

Dorcas snorted. "Yeah, cuz I have better things to do than actually watch. It's the best time to get some good socialization going."

"You mean flirt with new victims?" Beth asked.

"Exactly."

Lily looked at her friend consolingly. "I'm sorry about Patrick."

Dorcas waved her hand. "Plenty of Pygmy Puffs in the pen."

They grabbed their cloaks and headed downstairs.

A 1st year Slytherin boy approached Lily just as they were about to leave the castle. "Lily?" he asked like he was going to piss himself.

She stopped to look at him curiously. "Yeah?" She thought his name was David.

"I was hoping you could help me with something." He looked so embarrassed. "Alone," he added with a nervous glance to her friends.

Aw, he's so cute. "Go on guys, I'll be right there." Dorcas shrugged and they went on outside.

She turned back to the little blond. "It's David, right? What's up?"

He was tomato red. "It's actually in the common room."

Lily hadn't been in there in years. "Okay, lead the way."

She followed him to the dungeons and through the portrait door. She looked across the room at the green glow coming from the underside of the lake and remembered how Sirius had told her how he and James had swam down to the glass their 6th year and mooned the entire Slytherin common room underwater. This was the last thought floating in her head until she heard: "Imperio."

Huh. That's funny. Don't they know that curse is illegal? Lily thought dreamily as she felt all the anxiety creep out of her body. She watched lazily as David scurried toward a group of boys in the armchairs, collect a gold coin, and scampered back, leaving the common room.

"Come over here, Mudblood," she heard a voice snarl.

I mean, I guess I want to see who's there… what's the worst that can happen? Not nice to call me a Mudblood though, not nice at all…

"Well, lookie here boys, the slag was actually dumb enough to fall for it." It was Mulciber, Macnair and Snape sitting in chairs beside him. Lily vaguely noticed that Snape was perched on the armrest looking away uncomfortably. "Not so tough now, are you, Mudblood? Care to take off any more of your precious points?"

A voice in Lily's mind was coaxing her to take off her cloak. I guess it is quite hot with the fire burning. She noticed Macnair's yellow teeth flashing as she acquiesced. A small part of her didn't like it.

"Stand on the table."

Lily looked at the table in question. Why, though? The voice in her head was persistent. But that's so silly, tables aren't meant to be stood on, doesn't the voice know that? The voice screamed at her, and Lily didn't do well with being yelled at. She took a shaky step up onto the wood, turning to face them.

"Is she trying to fight it?" Macnair looked over at Mulciber's raised wand. "I don't remember Amber fighting it."

Lily's false sense of calm was dissipating, and fast. Amber… Amber… Amber… Her mind started racing as all the alarms went off inside of it. Did he mean Amber Tarkin? What did they do to her? Is that why she transferred? Lily felt like she was going to be sick as Mulciber stood up to step closer to her. Her hands started to shake, but she still couldn't move them by herself.

"She can try. Isn't that right, Mudblood?" he spat. "Now be a good little whore and take that ugly sweater off."

I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. She found her eyes straying to Snape, wondering why the hell he wasn't helping her. Help me, stop him! She was yelling in her head. For fuck's sake, stop this! But her former friend wasn't reacting and she realized she was going to have to save herself.

Mulciber laughed cruelly. "Oh no, your old bestie isn't going to help you out of this one. In fact, he's the one who told us all about how much you've been whoring yourself out now. Benjy, Potter, Black — quite the growing list." He turned back to his friends as though hosting a pleasant dinner party. "And boys, look at that, all Pure-bloods! Two of us are in luck." He and Macnair sniggered disgustingly. "So what do you say, slut? What's a few more blokes to fuck?"

That's not true. It's only been James. It's always been James. Lily's hands stilled on her fourth button, the foreign voice in her head screaming at her to continue undressing. No. I'm not doing that.

Mulciber's eyes flashed pure black. "Do it, now."

Fuck you, you humungous pile of shit.

"I won't ask again!" he roared.

"No!" Lily screamed in his face, feeling as though she had been doused in an ice-cold bucket of water.

The last thing she saw before there was a loud crash was his hand pulling to his chest, ready to backhand her across the face. Someone else had flung himself into the common room and she watched as Mulciber, Macnair and Snape violently shot across the room in rapid succession, painfully striking the glass window and collapsing to the floor in a heap. Snape's head connected the hardest and Lily swore she could see a little chink in the glass as he slid to the ground.

"Lily!" James was in front of her now, trembling as he enfolded her in his arms, hugging her right off of the table. "Are you all right? Did they hurt you? I'm so fucking sorry," he hurried all in one breath. Lily was still trying to wrap her mind around what the fuck had just happened. He took a step back, looking at her dazed expression and putting everything together. Lily realized as an Auror in the time of Voldemort, James must have seen the Imperious curse used a lot. His hands quivered wildly as he tried to button her cardigan back up.

His fumbling fingers snapped her out of it. "James," she whispered, putting her hands over his to stop the shaking, "I'm fine."

He tried to continue in a frenzied state and she realized he was looking at her buttons like he was going to cry. "Babe, honestly," she tried catching his eye, "they didn't even touch me." James let out a pained breath. She cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at her. "James. I'm okay. Nothing happened." She could see ghosts living in his eyes. "I was even fighting it!" she bragged in a fake chipper tone. She was going to do anything to make him stop looking like he was on the verge of a heart attack — his lips were far too purple.

"Really?" he gulped saliva down his parched throat.

"Yeah! I yelled at him." She knew she was the one who had nearly been assaulted, but she was going to put on a brave face for her boyfriend. He needed her to be okay, and she was going to give that to him.

"That's my girl," he choked out and took a few deep breaths. He brought his forehead down to rest against hers, squeezing her hands. "You know I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to you."

"Well, good thing I'm impervious to Imperious. My stubbornness is finally good for something."

He chuckled hollowly, pulling her to his chest and kissing the top of her head. "I love you so fucking much." The way he said it, like he would literally die without her, broke her heart.

She squeezed his waist. "I love you too." She breathed him in. "Thank you for finding me." There was a beat. "Wait, how did you find me?"

James took a deep inhalation, savoring her jasmine scent. "When you didn't show up to the game, I checked the map. Knew something was wrong when practically the only people still in the school were you and those three."

"The map?" Lily looked up at him.

James' brow scrunched. "I keep forgetting I have to tell you about that." He pecked her forehead. "But first, let's bring these fucktards to Dumbledore's office." He shot out his Patronus to alert Albus of their imminent arrival.

Lily decided to let his childish insult fly this time. She let him sling his arm around her shoulders protectively as he levitated the three unconscious bodies, unceremoniously bashing their heads into every wall they passed on their way up to the gargoyle.

If Dumbledore had been at the game, he was in his office now. He looked from James holding Lily to the three floating bodies behind them gravely. "Please do tell me what happened."

Lily found her voice sooner than James did, taking a step toward the desk and disentangling herself from him since James didn't seem to be thinking properly — or care enough about propriety at the moment. "Uh," she took a breath, feeling rather awkward, "I was attacked." Lily had never viewed herself as a victim, and she wasn't going to start now.

Dumbledore's eyes flickered to James looking murderous for a second, then back to her.

"A 1st year asked me for help, but he was paid to lure me to the Slytherin common room." James growled angrily behind her. "Mulciber used the Imperious curse on me and tried to get me to take my clothes off." A loud thud behind her let Lily know James had dropped all the bodies to the stone floor. She carried on, needing to get this all out and as fast as possible so she would never have to talk about it again unless she wanted to. "They mentioned Amber Tarkin, Professor. I think they've done this before. To her."

Dumbledore's face didn't flinch but she heard the anger of a thousand warriors in his voice when he said a simple, "I see."

"I was able to fight it though, and that's when Professor Potter came in and incapacitated them."

Dumbledore took a moment. "You have shown great bravery tonight, Miss Evans. I hope you know this."

"Thank you, Professor."

"Do you have their wands, James?" James stepped forward and dropped three wands onto Dumbledore's desk. "It will be easy to expel Mulciber as we can show his last curse was an Unforgivable one. He will stand trial at Wizengamot." He saw Lily's face blanch and continued, "Do not worry, a written statement will be more than enough with this strong of evidence, you will never have to see him again." Lily let out a breath she wasn't aware of holding. "I will write to Miss Tarkin and ask if she would like to provide her own statement against him. As for the other two, what would you like me to do, Miss Evans?"

Lily shook her head, clearly not expecting to have any say in the matter. It was nice to think that a survivor would be given that much consideration. "Uh…" Her mind was suddenly blank, unable to come up with a solid solution. Did she think Snape and Macnair deserved hell for what they'd just allowed happen to her? Absolutely. They would probably have just watched as Mulciber raped her, or worse, participated. Lily let out an involuntary shudder as she tasted bile in the back of her throat. James was staring at her intently and reached for her hand, squeezing it in his as if to remind her she was not alone. He was there for her no matter what. She pushed through the disgust for her peers. "I never want to see them again, but if they're expelled, they'll just join the remaining Death Eaters still out there that much sooner, won't they?"

Dumbledore looked at her over his steepled fingers, seemingly impressed. "Indeed."

"Lily, it's not your job to worry about that, we have to do what's best for—"

Lily cut James off, still looking at the Headmaster. "They can stay. But I have some rules."

Dumbledore's eyes seemed to crinkle ever so slightly. "Of course, which are?"

Lily stood to her tallest height, ignoring James looking at her confused. "They are not to look at me, talk to me, or ever mention my name again. I want an Unbreakable Vow from them." She gulped. "They can't speak of Professor Potter either. Snape has to drop his class." She knew this was ballsy, and probably blowing the lid off of their clandestine relationship — but something in her gut told her Dumbledore already knew about them, and was somehow okay with it. Something about him screamed that he was a sucker for forbidden love — or just any type of love in general.

"Lily—" James tried.

"Very well," Dumbledore said. "If that is what you'd like."

Lily jutted out her chin. "It is."

"I will see that it is taken care of." Dumbledore stood up and approached her three attackers. He turned to James. "Please see to it that Miss Evans is delivered safely to her dorm."

"Yes, sir," James said, now seeming to be the dazed one himself.

Lily gave one last look at the unconscious boys, hating them with all her guts. She grabbed James' hand and dragged him out of the office and into the stairwell.

"Lily," he whispered weakly, "you should have just gotten rid of them."

Lily waited until they were back in the empty hall to turn to him. "James, two birds, one stone." Off his confused expression, she elaborated. "Macnair and Mulciber both knew about us, Snape must have told them." His eyes widened at this. "Mulciber is going to go to Azkaban for casting an Unforgivable, so we don't have to worry about him, but if the other two are expelled, they have no reason not to talk. They could tell anyone, and then you're in deep shit. This way, we delay two more psychos on the loose and keep our secret safe."

James looked at Lily like he could kiss her. But then he was kissing her — right there in the hall.

"James!" Lily looked around scandalized. "We're in public right now!" she whispered horror-stricken.

"I don't care, I just don't care anymore," James murmured pulling her into him.

"That's not true, you do care," Lily said, taking a step back and grabbing his arm once more to drag him to his room. "I know everyone's at the game, but this is not the time to throw caution to the wind. There's only so much Dumbledore can turn a blind eye to—"

"No, Lily, you don't get it." He stood still in the middle of the corridor, his halt whipping Lily's body around to face him. "I really don't. You are all I care about. I can't lose you. I won't."

Lily looked at his pained expression, and had to give him a little kiss. "Come," she demanded, finally able to get him to the privacy of his room. "James, you need to talk to me more about your time as an Auror, because it is clearly still fucking with you," she told him firmly.

James' jaw snapped back, looking at her startled. "This isn't about me, you just nearly—"

"I'm fine, really, this shit happens all the time—"

"What?!" James looked ready to break someone's neck with his bare hands.

"Okay, maybe not this badly, but James, honestly, I'm okay."

He got distracted by his own tirade. "And that they tried to lure you with a child, they tried to take advantage of your kindness — it's despicable! People who prey on the goodness of others are the worst kind of scum on earth!" He looked like he was about to pop a vein.

She held on to his forearms. "Hey, hey," she cooed, trying to catch his eye. "Just breathe."

He shut his hazel eyes tightly, making Lily miss them already. He let out a monstrous sigh. "I'm the worst boyfriend ever."

"Don't say that—"

"It's true. I should be strong for you right now. Instead… you're worried about me."

Lily rubbed up and down his biceps. "Hey, we can't be strong all the time." He opened his eyes and was met with her shy smile. "You've been strong for me plenty. You take care of me, I take care of you. That's what partners do."

James reached out and traced her cheeks, leaning his face right in front of hers. "Thank you for being so quick on your feet." He let out a little chuckle. "And getting Snape kicked out of my class. I may have 'accidentally' murdered him otherwise."

Lily smirked. "Yeah, I figured." She licked her lips. "But don't think I'm gonna let you off the hook on this." He made a face. "You need to talk to me about it." James groaned, tilting his head back. "Please?" Lily pleaded. "I want to know everything about you."

And so they talked. In the comfort of his bed, James laid himself bare: all his past missions, his traumas, every single thing that had been weighing on his soul since he'd joined the Auror program. Lily wiped away his tears as he reminisced on all the times Alice had saved him (at Hogwarts and after) and how he still missed her every damn day. How he felt like he was disgracing her memory by giving up the fight, but how he also couldn't keep fighting knowing what he'd failed to prevent.

"She wouldn't hold it against you," Lily said, breaking her contemplative silence. She pushed James' hair off of his forehead, curled against his side. He looked at her, willing himself to believe her words. "After everything you've told me about her, I know she loved you just as much as you loved her. She would never want you to keep hurting like this." He burrowed himself into her embrace. "It wasn't your fault, James. It's okay to forgive yourself." She tightened her grip on him and kissed the top of his head. Please forgive yourself, please…

James let out a melancholy laugh into her bosom. "I just feel so weak."

She pulled him back so she could hold his face and force him to look into her green eyes. "Having a heart doesn't make you weak. Feeling love does not make you weak. It's what makes you strong." She brought her lips to his gently, determined to make him see himself the way she did — as the hero he was to her. "Your love makes me strong." She smiled at her own sappiness, but he didn't because it was exactly what he needed to hear.

Soon they dissolved into a puddle of kisses, comforting and loving each other until all the pain melted away.

Next Chapter: In Control