Voltron: Lost Memories
Capítulo 11:
"Life Together"
…No… Noo…
…
Don't leave me…
NOO!
…
"KEITH!" I woke up gasping and covered in sweat. I knew I was safe, that I was on my bed, but… I felt like I was back there. Still surrounded by parts of the ship, smoke hiding the sun, and Keith… bleeding on his head, his side, his arm. His leg completely broken… "Keith!" No, I turned to my left. There was nothing but darkness. "No! No!" I looked desperate for the lamp next to me and turned it on. And Keith… He was there…
I released the air I was holding, and placed my hand over my racing heart. I tried to calm down, closing the eyes so not to cry, but I was there… it was that day… I was thirsty, and still sweating, so I stood up. Despite how I was feeling, my body was still trying to wake up, so I stumbled across the room until I reached the door. I got to the kitchen, and drank a glass of water, then another, and another. I was still recovering, my legs stopped shaking but I couldn't control my hands. I reached the bathroom without even looking. I stared at my reflection for a while, until I started washing my face. I did it one, two, three times… I lost count, I just wanted to feel fresh and relaxed.
It took me a while, but finally, I dried myself and headed back to the room. Kosmo wasn't there, he could be on his own bed, which he usually used only during the day, or he was walking in the forest. I got back to the bed but kept the light on, I didn't want to go back to sleep yet. I wanted to stop dreaming that… the first time it happened was right after I woke up at the hospital. Since then, it was so often. Each time being worse than the last one, I used to yell and cry because Keith… because I knew it was my fault.
"No, it wasn't your fault". That's what Hunk, and everyone else told me…
Snoring, and a quiet move behind me made me come back to reality. I cleaned the tears and rubbed my eyes. I'd tell them about the nightmare later… right now I wanted to rest. I turned to my other side to see him. He was sleeping so peacefully, and he turned to his side, so we were facing each other. His hair covered just half of his face. I smiled and passed my fingers through his hair. It almost felt like all this time had just been a terrible nightmare… but it happened, and the scar on his head was proof of it. Keith hadn't mentioned it yet, perhaps he hadn't notice, or he just preferred not to ask. It was actually hidden through his hair, but I knew it was there, as it was one of the many memories of that day. The day we almost died: me for being annoying, and him trying to save my life.
I didn't realize I was still holding his hair 'till he moved and groaned, but he just moved his arms and legs, both of them. He didn't show any pain, which meant his leg was-
"Holly Quiznack!-" I immediately covered my mouth. I forgot to place back on his leg his patches after his bath. I got to his side quickly… now I had to place the patches so careful so not to wake him up. I carefully took the sheet off his, so as to see his leg. He didn't move, great, so I could keep going. I gently hold his foot and placed the first patch… "Oh my Stars" I told to myself, it's been a long time since my fingers ran through his skin this way; despite everything he'd been through, his skin was still so soft. My hand slid from his ankle to his calf, then placed the second patch. I continued to reach his thigh and place the third one… God, I got closer to him, I wanted to smell him, feel him, kiss him… but not like this. Not without his permission, not if he didn't understand… nor even to calm my pain. It'll be later… then I look up and he was looking at me.
I jumped back and almost fell, if it weren't for Kosmo that suddenly reappeared behind me. I glanced back at Keith but, his eyes were closed. I blinked twice, and got closer, I even waved my hand in front of him, but he was asleep.
"Okay… I need to sleep." I rubbed my eyes again. I covered Keith back with the sheets and I got back to bed. I turned the lights off, but I could see him now. Our hands were close, so I grabbed his. I sighed, then placed my fingers between his and closed my eyes. It took me a while to get back to sleep, yet, I kept holding his hand… and he held mine.
…
The Sun was just rising when I woke up again. I was still tired but chose to stay busy, so I stood up, got dressed, and started with my routine. It was now 9:00 a.m., and I had already showered, washed some clothes, cleaned the living room furniture, reorganized the dishes and glasses in the kitchen, and was cooking some stew for the meal. Kosmo stayed with Keith at first, now he was staring at me from the couch, as if I was worried or something… okay, I was. But I was prepared for anything. I thought so.
"Tell me if he's awake", I asked Kosmo pointing to the bedroom. He blinked lazily. "Come on! Do me the favor." He sighed. Can you believe it? Kosmo sighed 'cause he was done with me! Anyways, he did what I asked and walked to the room. "You know you can just teleport inside, right?"
He ignored me, but he slightly pushed the door and took a look inside. Then he waved his tale. "Good. He's awake."
I grabbed the tray with some fruit, waffles covered in honey, and even some rice pudding. 'Is it too much?... Not at all!'. I took a deep breath, gaining courage, and walked to the room. 'I'm prepared for anything'. I walked slowly, but determined. Kosmo was already inside, so I pushed the door with my feet. 'I'm ready'. As I came in, Keith looked at me.
'Oh sh*t, I'm not ready!' My legs stumbled… but who would notice?
"Good morning." I tried to speak as normal and kind as I could.
"Good morning." He said smiling.
I blinked twice. "Do you… slept well?"
Keith seemed to be… happy. He was sitting flexing his legs, scratching Kosmo's ears… he seemed to be too happy, despite last night. Alright, I'd stay tuned. I place the food on his desk.
"Well," he looked at Kosmo. "I think so. I had… dreams."
"What?" How could I didn't tell? "What were you dreaming about?"
"I don't know, actually, just… a lot of images, different places… maybe some memories… but all at the same time, without any kind of order… but, I'm not tired. I feel even better, I think." Once again, he smiled at me. A pure, warm and beautiful smile.
Oh God, this man kills me. I cleared my throat. "Well, I'm glad that you rest. You want some juice?"
"Please."
"Sure."
I left and headed back to the kitchen, and as soon as I got there, I released the air I was holding. "Oh God…", I felt so dizzy. "Okay… this… this is good. This is so good". Of course it was.
…
I came back with his juice, and with food to me also, and even some for Kosmo, who Keith still called Wolf. I wonder when would he call him by his name. Anyways, if he was happy, it's okay with me. We turned on the T.V. and watched an animated movie about dragon riders. I couldn't believe it; this was an almost perfect morning. We were smiling, taking breakfast in bed, watching T.V., and I couldn't help but give a few glimpses at him, he seemed so calm, so happy this morning… could he forgot about-
"Is something wrong?"
I jumped, 'cause he didn't even look at me.
"W-whaaaaat? Of course not!"
"You sure?" He bit his waffle. "You've been staring at me for a while," he finally turned to me. "You mind telling me what is it?"
Well, I didn't' want to… I had to relax and settle my mind first. "Keith… how are you feeling? Really?"
"I'm fine, Lance. I swear it."
"Really? You're not… mad at me?"
"Me?" He seemed confused. "Why would I be?"
"Well," I looked away, "Ya' know. About last night."
It took him a moment before talking back. "Oh… that. Um… no, Lance. I'm not mad at you." I looked at him with caution, and let him continue. "I mean, I wasn't expecting that, but… well."
He closed his eyes and frowned. I stared at him, and, I really wanted to hold his hand, to hug him, but I couldn't. "Keith, I-"
"Just… give me some time. Okay? I need… I must understand it, and accept it. Please."
I stared at his hand. Slowly, my hand moved, but I held his shoulder instead, and smiled at him. "Okay." He smiled too.
"Thank you, Lance."
Any sign of fear and worry I felt before, suddenly vanished. It was because I knew now that Keith, despite everything, was willing to understand and remember. It wouldn't be easy, I'd bet, but he wasn't alone.
"Do you want some pie?" I suddenly asked.
He even shook his head confused. "What did you say?"
"Pie. Do you want some? Maybe an apple pie, or blueberry pie? It could even be cheese pie."
"What?" He said laughing. "Um… uh, okay, I want some pie."
"Perfect! I'm baking it right now." I stood up.
"Wait, you don't have it?"
"Of course not, but don't worry, it won't take me that much… well, maybe a little, but I assure you you're gonna love it." I was about to leave the room. "Oh, right! I almost forgot. Chris is coming to check you today." I knew what he was gonna say.
"Who?"
…
I looked at the clock. 2:45 p.m., the pie would be ready in just five minutes more, and Chris would arrive in an hour, he'd check Keith's leg and his health and then… we'd see. He wasn't exactly excited when I told him, but he wasn't angry either, so, I guess that went pretty well. He was sleeping since then. I returned to the papers in front of me and to the tablet on the table. I still had a lot to read, sign, edit and send back, but I wasn't really focused. My coffee cup was already empty and I was getting hungry. I wanted to taste that stew… Then I heard murmurs and groans."
"What the- Keith!" I left everything and headed back to the room. He was groaning, shaking and sobbing.
"Ah! No… Don't… Don't leave me!"
"Keith! Keith!" I placed my hand on his face.
"No!" He shouted. "No! Lance!"
"Keith, wake up!" He was still sleeping, but he was getting worse. I was so scared that I held his head. "Keith! I'm here!"
"Nooo!"
"Babe, look at me! I'm right here!" He finally opened his eyes. "Yes, that's it! It's me… Keith, it's me. I'm here."
"Lance…" then he held me tight and started crying.
God… I hated to see him like this. He always told me that he never let anyone see him cry, so anyone would know he was weak. It took me so much for him to fully trust me, for him to understand that it didn't bother me, quite the opposite, that I'd be there for him always. He knew that… he used to know. I stayed quiet so he could let it all out, I just hugged him so tight, 'cause I'd never let him alone. When I felt him already releasing me, I helped him rest his head on the pillow.
"You feel better?" He looked at me with some sad, tired, and still wet eyes. I gulped. "A nightmare?" He nodded. "What happened?" He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Okay, then, I've gotta-"
"No!" He held my arm tightly. "Please… don't leave me."
Those words echoed in my head… it felt like my whole body was hit, and I would've fallen if it weren't because he was holding me. I closed my eyes to calm down and breathe.
"I won't." I managed to get on the bed, and lay next to him, while he was still holding me. I laid facing him, and he faced me. My hand looked for his, and my eyes met his. He did not hesitate, nor got mad, but didn't get happy either, he just accepted it and that's all I could ask. "It's okay, I'm here."
We stayed like that, barely moving for the next minutes. I never stopped looking at him, not even when he closed his eyes again, just so he could rest or simply stop looking at me, I couldn't tell. I wonder what was actually happening inside his mind, what could he think about me, what were his thoughts about this life: this bed, this clothes; what was he thinking about the guys: Shiro, Pidge, his mother; which were his thoughts about Oliver… God, Oliver, I still had to tell him about him… later. A sweet smell came across my nose, and suddenly Kosmo's face appeared in front of me. "Yes? Can I help you?" He sniffed right in my nose. "That smell? Oh! The pie's ready!"
"He really needs to come?"
"What? Who?"
Keith slowly opened his eyes. "The doctor… he needs to come?"
"Well… yes, Keith. He has to check on you, tell if everything's alright." He let go of my hand and hugged himself. "What is it?"
"Nothing. I'm just…"
"Keith…"
"…I'm cold."
Alright, I knew there was something he wasn't telling me, but, anyway, I'd keep going and smiled. "Do you want a sweater? And maybe some warm pants"
He nodded. Very well, as he insisted, I went right to the closet, I already knew which sweater to give him: the baggy light pink one, with a purple hippo right on the belly. I showed it to him. "What about this one?"
My heart melted the moment he looked at the cloth, opened his eyes and even got up. "What's that?" He asked wondered.
"What do you think it is?"
"Lance", he took it. "It's beautiful!"
"I know," we were both smiling. "Alright, you stay here, I'll go to the kitchen so I can save our pie before it gets burned."
…
I picked up my phone and made the call. I even started biting my nails… Why was I biting my-
He cleared his throat. ~Hello?
"Hey, Chris!"
~Lance! How are you?
"I'm okay. Actually, I just saved a pie from being toasted, haha."
~Well, well, ha ha ha. Okay, how can I help you?
"Yeah, well, um… so, you remember you're coming see Keith today, right?"
~That's correct.
"Right, so, uh… could we not do it today?"
~… What happened?
"No, it's nothing. It's just Keith."
~Is something wrong with him?
"No, it's… I'm not sure. It's just that he doesn't want to… meet anybody."
~Um… Lance, you know that…
"Please, Chris. Just, Just this time. I promise."
~Hmm… Fine. Okay, Lance. Just because it's you.
"Really? Great, thanks Chris!"
~Hey, hey! Not so fast. If I can't see him, I need you to answer a few questions.
"Oh, um… Okay."
~Okay… how's he feeling? I mean, about everything?
"He, um… more or less. He spends the whole day in bed, he sleeps, then wakes up, sleeps again. He stays awake more time every day, he speaks even more… when he's in the mood."
~Any sign of pain?
"Yes. His head still hurts him, and he can't walk yet."
~What makes his head hurt?
"If, if he's angry, or it's about something he can't remember."
~I told you that would happen. He's still weak?
"He gets stronger every day."
~What about his leg? Are you applying the exercise?
"At dawn and at night. It hurts him less each time."
~That's really good. Any digestive problems? Fever? Cold sweat?
"Any of that."
~Okay… Has he tried to stand up?
"Not since the hospital."
~Good, I still don't suggest him to try to walk." He stopped a few seconds. "Alright, Lance. I'll see you next week. You can do the exercise just one time per day, but don't let him walk. To rest and stay calm is the key so he can recover… what about you? Are you feeling good?
I remembered my nightmare, should I tell him now? "Me? I'm… fine. Just a bit tired, but… I'm fine."
~Okay… Fine. I'll see you next week.
"Chris! One last thing."
~Now what?
"I promise you're gonna like it."
…
"KEITH!" The door slammed so hard that Keith, even Kosmo, jumped scared. "Oops! Sorry. Keith! I hope you're ready! 'Cause, we're going on a ride tomorrow!"
"We, what? Where?"
I smiled as much as I could. "We're going to the lake."