Unlovable
30th June 1997
Hermione was sitting on her favorite couch by the window in the common room, reveling in the cool evening wind of June and watching the sunset. She sighed in relief. Another year of Hogwarts had ended. Another summer of uncertainty was ahead. She had given her exams jubilantly. Her homework was complete and the classes had ended. She had her friends. But she was feeling lonely and as if something was missing. Draco. The answer came almost immediately.
They had reduced their meetings after Christmas. The last time they had met was before easter. after which, it was as if they had forgotten each other. They both had same excuse, exams. But again, they had prepared for their OWLS together last year, spending hours of curfew in the library, cross-checking notes, asking questions to each other. Practicing spells and charms together, sneaking into the kitchen for a midnight meal, just before exams. He gave her those funny little pep talks in case she got stressed by the amount of work. Or just flying parchment planes through the astronomy tower and the grounds. She smiled at the thoughts.
And then a tear rolled down her eyes. She had screwed up. The big messy one. Draco had seen her only as a friend. Perhaps the only true friend. And she had allowed her hormones to take over. She was supposed to be the more mature one. Not a lovesick sixteen-year-old. She threw her head into her hands and started sniffling again.
"Are you alright, Hermione?" Luna's soft voice surprised her. Although not much. Luna had started spending most of her time with the Gryffindors lately. She had more friends in Gryffindor than in Ravenclaw.
"Yeah, I am good," Hermione said as she wiped her eyes quickly and smiled at her.
"But you were crying, is something wrong?"
"No, I just remembered something sad, but it's gone now, It's alright." It's not alright. She looked out of the window again.
"It's about Draco, Isn't it," Luna said barely in a whisper. Hermione whipped her head toward her.
"What?" It came out a little less effective than she had wanted it to be. Then she remembered how observant Luna was.
"Yeah, I know. I have seen you two together after curfew and in the library sometimes. You look like you two are friends." Luna said.
"were friends. Don't tell anyone, please?" Hermione pleaded.
"No, I won't, but only if you tell me what happened." She said. Propping her chin on her elbow.
Hermione looked up at Luna's big blue dreamy eyes. Curiosity and understanding flowing through them. She sighed and looked out of the window again. It had started pouring now. She remembered how Draco had run to with an umbrella when Harry and Ron had gone inside after their quidditch game, forgetting about her in midst of their victory over Ravenclaw. She sniffed.
"I messed up, Luna, I told him that I liked him, but he wasn't ready for it. He was very hurt when I had said that, I saw it in his eyes."
"He pushed you away?"
"No, he held me. He said that I was his only friend and he didn't want to lose me. I thought I could understand, but I can't!" A few heads turned, but they didn't see her. They were sitting within their usual barriers of books."I can't look at him now without thinking about..." She closed her eyes and covered her mouth with her hand.
"Snogging him senseless?" Luna suggested.
"Yes," Hermione said guiltily.
They sat in silence for some time, with occasional ruffling of pages and crackling of the fire.
"Have you tried talking to him?" Luna said.
"No, we both are just too stubborn to talk about our feelings." She laughed a little."And I don't think he would show his feelings anyway, he never lets his composure down."
There was more silence. Then it was pierced through by a loud scream. They looked for the source of the sound and found it was Lavender. She was watching something out of the window. Several people were looking out in horror too. Hermione turned her head to look out of the window.
A smoke formation representing a skull with a tongue was floating over the astronomy tower. She turned her head towards Luna.
"Find him before he does anything stupid, Hermione. He is a really good person, you know it. I will take care of everything here." Luna said.
Hermione nodded and mouthed a quick 'thank you'. She stood up and made towards the door,
"Where are you going, Hermione?" Ron asked, walking down to her.
"I have to find Harry, He is not back yet." She lied.
"I will come with you," Ron said, making his way towards the door.
"NO!" Hermione said, a little too exasperated. "I mean, you go and alert the DA, you know, I will be back." She said.
"But," He said,
"Just go, Ronald," She tried her best to remain bossy and not sound exasperated.
"Uhh, okay," He said and ran back to the dormitory, to find the false galleon.
Hermione kept walking until she was standing in front of the room of requirement. She closed her eyes and reached the handle. Muttering under her breath for the room of hidden objects. The door creaked slowly and with one last look around the corridor, she crept in.
The place looked like an abandoned city, loads of things like broken beds, closets, brooms, cages, battered books, boxes, jewels, and other things were piled up into masses and were forming towers with narrow valleys between them.
She knew Draco came here, he was fixing something. She started looking around.
After aimlessly wandering into the piles and calling out his name, she knew he was not there. She had just wasted her time. She groaned and stomped her foot like a child.
Finally, she started making her way out of the room, when something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. She could bet she had seen Draco standing there. She turned in that direction so hard, she lost her balance and fell down. Grunting, she stood up again and looked forward to what she had seen.
She saw herself, her vision cleared and she took more in. She saw that it was a mirror, a large one, enough to cover a whole wall of her parent's house.
Then she saw something else, a flash of blonde hair. She looked closely into the reflection, Draco was standing right behind her.
She turned back and saw that he was not there. She looked back at the mirror and almost cried at the sight. Draco in the reflection was now kissing her in the reflection, and she was kissing him back passionately.
She tried to control herself, the mirror was playing at something. She walked around it to find its edge. it had runes on it, running across the wooden frame. She tried to decipher them but couldn't. She looked back at the reflection. The reflection was also standing at the edge and now was animatedly explaining something to Hermione herself while pointing at the runes.
Then she remembered it, Harry had told her about this, the Mirror of Erised. She had seen Draco, he was her heart's deepest desire, he was always there for her, emotionally and physically, whenever she had something wrong with her, he fixed it instantly. She had not reacted badly over Ron and Lavender because she already had him.
Tears ran down her cheeks at the realization, she loved him.
At that moment, she stood up. He had always been there, she would be there for him. She left the ROR. Dumbledore said that love was the most powerful weapon. She would use her love.
She had started running towards the astronomy tower when she saw him, he was walking up to the tower too.
"Draco stop!" She yelled at him.
He stopped but didn't look back.
"Go away, Hermione, it's dangerous to be here at this moment." He said in a calm voice.
"You don't have to do this, Draco, please,"
He kept walking on.
"Don't make me do this, Draco!"
He ignored her and kept on walking faster.
Hermione had had enough, she pointed at her wand at him, "Last chance Draco,"
He almost reached the end of the grounds, "Stupify!"
He stopped and blocked her spell by his elbow, clearly annoyed.
"Petrificus totalus,"
He blocked it again,
"Reducto!"
He blocked it too. Hermione was getting annoyed, she thought of something else, she pointed her wand at her throat.
Draco had moved at the speed of sound, her wand dropped, and then she was pinned to the wall behind her, his wand at her throat,
"Don't even think about it," He said in a seethingly angry voice.
Hermione freed one of her hands and cupped Draco's cheek,
"Then don't do it," She said in a soft voice, Draco freed her but held his composure,
"There's no other way,"
"There are a thousand other ways,"
"No there aren't!"
"We will protect you,"
"No, you won't, no one can,"
"Please Draco, I will protect you,"
"You won't, I have to do this, this is much larger than any of us,"
"I will protect you, I love you, why don't you understand?!"
"You can't love me, NO ONE CAN!"
"WHY?"
"I AM A MURDERER!"
"You haven't killed anyone yet, Draco, you are not one of them,"
"I am a lot worse than them, you don't know me,"
"Then make me know you, please," She pulled him flush towards her so that their faces were inches from each other's,
"You will know me, one day, you will," And then he wandlessly stunned her, he couldn't have any more of her, he checked his watch, while still holding her, he had time.
He picked her up as if something made of china, and then disillusioned themselves, he took her to the hospital wing, laid her down as if something made of fine glass, covered her in a blanket, and kissed her forehead.
And then he left.
Harry and Dumbledore arrived at the astronomy tower and saw Malfoy standing there, they landed and got off their brooms, Dumbledore was already weak from the potion and had to take Harry's shoulder to make himself stand.
"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital wing, sir?" He asked,
"No Harry, I am fine, you should go now. I think I have a meeting with there," he said, looking toward Malfoy.
"What sort of meeting, sir?"
"Just something regarding Head duties, you should go and take some rest." He said,
Harry nodded, still not assured, he went and stood behind the looking wall.
Dumbledore, although weak, walked briskly and stood beside Malfoy,
"Is this the time, Draco?"
"I am afraid it is, Headmaster," Malfoy said and turned to face him, "How was the meeting with Harold?" He said,
Harry was shocked at the use of his first name by none other than Malfoy,
"It was fine, I have told him everything he needs to know,"
"Well then," Malfoy casually flicked his wand, Dumbledore's wand flew out of his hand and he slid back a bit on the floor of the balcony. Harry tried to move but was shocked when he stood rooted on the spot, unable to move, he tried to move his wand, but his body was petrified and he couldn't move.
Malfoy pointed his wand at Dumbledore, "Any last words, Headmaster?" Malfoy said in an emotionless voice,
"Scar marks the last of the soul who kills, Draco," Dumbledore said coolly.
Malfoy's expression changed from cool to surprised to anger,
"There's no other way," He said through gritted teeth,
"There are many other ways, Draco, look at what you have done, look at what you can do, you are a good person, you know it,"
Harry felt his magical restrain lose a little bit, as he saw magic cackle around a very angry Malfoy,
"You give people too many chances, Avada Ke-"
"Sectumsempra!" Harry remembered Prince's spell for enemies and was horrified by the results, huge gashes of blood appeared on Malfoy's chest and lips, But he was still standing. He repeatedly flicked his wand, sending several non-verbal spells at him. He blocked them, until,
"Expelliarmus," Malfoy yelled, tired of fighting with his blood leaking, Dumbledore was just watching his two well-trained duelists fight each other with an amused expression,
Bellatrix's distant cackling made Harry look away and then he looked back at Malfoy in utter horror.
Although what Malfoy did was completely opposite, he said, "Petrificus Totalus, Lateo," Harry's body paralyzed, and strange fluid-like colors appeared on his clothes and body, and then he realized it, Malfoy had camouflaged him.
At the same moment, Bellatrix, Greyback and two other death eaters entered the balcony. Bellatrix looked at Draco in a bored expression, "Who did this?"
"D-Dumbledore," he rasped,
"Why, hello, Bella, Fenrir, Amycus, Alecto," Dumbledore said cheerily,
"You are too happy to see us?" Greyback asked,
"It always feels good to see my old students, even if you are not one of them,"
"That's enough from you, old man, Draco, do it," Bellatrix said,
Malfoy weakly stood up, in front of all the death eaters, his expression changed from cool to pained as he pointed his wand toward Dumbledore, While Dumbledore just nodded,
"Av-avada, k-ka," by this time, he was so weakened by the blood loss, that he was chocking due to the cuts in his throat,
"As pathetic as his mother," the man standing behind said, and the woman beside him laughed in a shrill tone,
"I will do it," another cold voice said, and Snape walked out of darkness,
"Severus, please," Dumbledore said, his expression, Snape nodded stiffly once, and he pointed his wand toward Dumbledore,
"Avada kedavra," Snape flicked his wand, a green light escaped its tip and killed Dumbledore died, right then and there. Bellatrix walked over to Malfoy, held his arm tightly, and disapparated, along with others, leaving Dumbledore's body behind.
Harry's bonds loosened, he walked over to Dumbledore, closed his eyes, and wept on his chest.