Author's Note:
Hi! How is everyone doing?
Do you remember in Season 5 Episode 12, The Real Deal, where it dealt with the fear dimension? That episode they showed everyone's fears and how dangerous it could be. Then we were able to see some of their fears and that was intense. I don't know if you guys noticed this too but did any of you see that at the very beginning, like before the Shield logo appears, there was a nun. Like for a second or two, a nun walked passed the screen and disappeared. I don't know if I'm just an over-thinker but I always wondered why there would be a nun. Plus, I wondered why the show never touched upon that more.
Hence why I wrote this chapter!
My take about why there was a nun and all that.
Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!
This might be a little shorter than other chapters but honestly, I had fun writing this one and I'm ok with it! Hopefully you guys enjoy it too! If you guys have any requests or suggestions or comments please let me know!
Have a great one you guys! And be safe!
Chapter 20: Fear Dimension
Fear; an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
That definition ran through Daisy's mind as she stared at the monitors, watching the video footage that the drones were currently recording. That was one word she knew by heart for years due to living at the orphanage. The nuns made the kids memorize Biblical references and things related to God. As well as knowing facts that would benefit them for life. However, most of the facts that the nuns told them never helped them succeed in life; just kept them content.
Though, knowing about fear was something that always stuck with her.
The video flickered and an image of Lash appeared once more. May's fear. Lash was creeping down the dark hallway. Every once in a while, he would look directly into the camera and just stare. His dark eyes would remain fixed on the camera, staring blankly ahead for several long seconds before he would snarl and look away. See, Lash was a legit fear. He was an inhuman who killed other inhumans because he felt that they were too strong or didn't deserve the gift that inhumans could possess.
Even the others fears were legitimate.
Ok, Deke's fear of the forest and nature may seem silly but coming from someone who grew up in space and never saw the true beauty of nature, it absolutely could be terrifying.
But what is my fear?
"I can lock that level of the Base but I don't know how long that will hold for." Fitz solemnly said, which caused Daisy to turn to look over at him.
"Is there a way to stop this?" Coulson asked as he stared over at the screen, cringing when Lash snarled at the camera once more.
Fitz ran a hand over his mouth as he tried to think of a logical answer. However, it seemed that the man was at a loss due to him raising his hand to scrub his eyes in frustration. It took him a moment to relax before he shrugged and sighed "There most likely is a way…"
"Most likely?" Coulson questioned as he turned to stare at the younger man.
"Well this is a whole new territory that we…I…have never dealt with before. This will take some investigation and some time-"
"We don't have time."
"I understand that, sir, however, there isn't many options right now." Fitz said in exasperation, pinching the bridge of his nose. He exhaled deeply "I-I can try and have a model of a prototype to delay the fear dimension from expanding. Though, I can't guarantee it will work."
Coulson took a deep breath as he crossed his arms, understanding that this was a lot to ask for "Ok. That will do for now." He turned around to face May and Daisy, who both stared at the screens "In the meantime, we will have to make sure no one goes down there and try to inform all the agents."
If May acknowledge him then Daisy had no idea. For she was too preoccupied with staring at the monitors, watching the screens flash from Lash to the forest to the Kree warriors. They were all equally terrifying. If anyone bumped into any of that, they would scream or be concerned. Ok…maybe not with the forest but maybe at night?
She still recalled the feeling she had when her and Deke had gone down to the storage lockers to try and find some supplies before they bumped into the Kree. The feeling of fear had crept over her entire body before shook took over. However, she didn't have the chance to react with the fear or even the shook because the Kree instantly began to attack them. She still recalled how forcefully the Kree had threw her against the crates, knocking the wind out of her. If she didn't get up when she did, then Deke would have been killed and God knows what would have happened with her.
The scariest part of that whole ordeal wasn't the fact that the Kree was there but the fact that it truly felt like a Kree was there. It seemed too real. It was real.
If it was just a fear, just a figment of their imagination then how the hell did it actually make physical contact with them? How the hell did it attack them?
She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder and her head whipped over her shoulder to see that it was Coulson right beside her.
"Daisy?"
Daisy gulped hard and came up with an excuse to keep the others content and off her back, so they won't continue to question her, "How are we going to explain this to the others?"
Coulson stared at her for a second as he slowly answered "We tell them the truth. Explain that it's unsafe to go down there and until we figure something out, it's off limits."
"You think they will listen?" Daisy asked.
"They better." May growled from where she stood, still watching the monitors closely.
Daisy looked over at May and noticed how stiff the older woman appeared. She couldn't blame her for her posture because frankly she herself would be standing stiffly as well if Coulson hadn't startled her.
"Wait," Deke spoke up, causing everyone to look over at him "do you think it has all of our fears? Like whoever is in the Lighthouse or just particular members?"
All heads turned to look at Fitz, who remained sitting in his rolling chair with a hand covering his mouth. He slide the hand down his face before grasping the back of his neck as he shrug "I don't know. I'm assuming the fears are from whoever is in the Lighthouse."
This new information crashed upon the group like a tidal wave.
Daisy personally felt like she was drowning under this shocking wave. It was too much. She looked around to see the others' mouths moving and she instantly realized that no words were coming out. It was as if she was in a bubble which blocked her from the outside world.
I need to get out of here!
Daisy slowly and carefully backed out of the room and snuck down the hallway. Fortunately, no one noticed her escape. Or if they noticed, they didn't follow her. She was grateful for that. She descended down another level of the Base, so she could hide in her room for a few hours in peace. She needed the peace; everything was happening nonstop and it was exhausting.
She had some peace when she rejoined Shield after she was on the run, deciding that she missed her family too much to continue running. Everything appeared to be back to normal for a few days, which was nice until the discovery of the LMD May. Once that discovery, she and the team were on a mission to find and save the real May. However, things weren't that easy because then Mack, Coulson, Fitz, and Mace were taken hostage as well. Simmons and her had to rely on each other in order to survive and save the rest of the team. With the help of Yoyo, Piper, and Davis the two girls were able to go into the Framework as well and get in contact with the others who were trapped in there. It defiantly wasn't easy to get their team back together; due to May being in Hydra, Coulson being a law obeying history teacher, Mack being a father to Hope, and Fitz being the doctor and boyfriend of Madame Hydra. Despite the difference in the Framework, Simmons and Daisy were able to get their team together and out of the Framework. Right after this one adventure, they went to a diner for some food but they didn't even get to pie before another event happened. This event happened to be space. Not just space but also time. As well as the Kree, who were much bigger and stronger than them. Their adventure in space was nowhere close to easy, in fact, each of them suffered immensely while they were up there. Once they figured out how to get home, needing to find the kid Flint, who could control rocks to build their monolith. Even that was a struggle due to Mack, Yoyo, and Simmons nearly not making it in time. While Daisy had to be shot with the icer due to her not wanting to go back home because of her title of the Destroyer of Worlds. Everyone made it back home, including Deke, and right away another issue formed; Hale and Ruby were their enemies while the team was on the most wanted list. Yoyo's arms were cut off. The fear dimension was opened and showing everyone's fears, which was extremely life like and could kill if they wanted.
The events were one after another. Nonstop. It was too much.
When she turned a corner, Daisy placed her hands over her ears and mumbled "God damnit."
"Do not use the Lord's name in vain," An overly sweet voice filled the inhuman's ears.
Daisy's eyes widened in disbelief. That voice? I know that voice. Though it can't be. It's not possible.
"Mary Sue Poots." The voice said.
Daisy removed her hands from her ears and slowly turned around to see a person wearing a double veil, a coif, a tunic, a scapular, and a belt standing down the hall. A nun. More specifically,
"Sister Sarah."
The nun clicked her tongue in shame as she pushed herself away from the dark shadows "I must say, Mary Sue, I'm impressed that you remembered. I guess you aren't so injudicious after all."
Daisy shook her head in shock, trying to get a sense of everything "No! This can't be. You can't be real!"
Sister Sarah exhaled deeply, clearly disappointed "Alas, I was wrong. You are clearly just as senseless like when you were a young child at Saint Agnes. Pity."
That comment made Daisy's head snap towards the nun, anger now flowed through her veins "I'm not a young child anymore."
"Obviously."
Daisy scoffed at that as she balled her hands into fists "I see that you haven't changed a bit. Same nasty bitch attitude like back at Saint Agnes. Some things never change, do they?"
The nun's eyes narrowed into slits as she glided closer to the girl, causing the girl to back away even further "You are correct, Mary Sue. I still have the same personality like I did years ago. That was me. Is me. Just like how some things never change for you either."
That remark made the inhuman stop in her tracks. She stared at the nun in curiosity.
Seeing that the girl paused in her movement, Sister Sarah stopped instantly. She entwined her fingers together and stood up even straighter than before, looking as stiff as a pin. "Sure, your appearance had changed; you've grown, you cut and dyed your hair, you've become more fit, and your clothing had indeed gotten darker. Though, that just covers your exterior. You're trying to hide the fact that things on the inside hasn't changed at all."
"You're wrong."
"Am I? Hmm, I do not believe so. And nor do you."
"You don't know what I believe." Daisy growled out, her brown eyes narrowing as she glared at the nun.
"No? Mary Sue Poots, I have watched and cared for you-"
"You never cared for me!"
"Did I not clean you? Did I not feed you? Given you a roof over your head?" The nun began to circle around the younger woman, her eyes never leaving Daisy's face. It was as if she was taunting her.
Daisy kept her eyes trained on the nun, trying to figure out what to do. Logically she knew that she could take her. She knew how to fight and how to take her down. Besides, she's a nun whose only true weapon was a damn wooden ruler.
Still circling the younger woman like a lion stalking their prey, Sister Sarah said "Who was it that was always there to take you back to Saint Agnes after you ruined every home you were taken to?"
"That wasn't by choice!" Daisy growled, clenching her fists even tighter where her nails dug into her skin "You and the damn orphanage was paid to have me. If you had your way, I would have been dead on the streets of New York as soon as I was delivered to that god damn place!"
"How cataclysmic that would have been." The nun said sarcastically, her eyes still locked on the girl.
Daisy drew a deep, shaky breath.
Come on, Daisy. Don't lose it. You know this isn't real.
"What are you doing here?" Daisy finally asked, curious as to why this Sister was in the Lighthouse.
This time, that question caused the nun to pause in her movements as she cocked her head to the side "Are you really that naive?"
Daisy didn't answer her.
She's just looking for a reaction. Don't give her that satisfaction.
The nun clicked her tongue in disgust "You never had any brains. Shame. I really thought there was a tiny sliver of logic in that head of yours; I was wrong." She smiled an evil smile as she looked around the dimly lit hallway before her eyes rested on the girl "I've come to take you."
"Take me where?" Daisy demanded.
"To Saint Agnes."
The hairs on the back of Daisy's neck rose up and her heartbeat picked up its pace, causing it to thud against her chest harder than normal.
"No,"
"Excuse me?" The nun slowly drew closer to her once more.
Daisy shook her head as she took a shaky step back "No. I'm not going back. You can't make me. The others…the others-"
"The others? You mean your team? That's why I'm here. They called the orphanage and explained how you're a danger to the world. How dangerous you have become and are a threat to everyone around you. That they have no idea how to prevent you from ending the world."
A vile taste filled her throat and she had to force herself to swallow hard. She had no idea what to say to that. She knew deep down that what this nun was saying was a lie but at the same time she knew that there was some truth behind those words.
"This isn't the first time, Mary Sue. How many families had called me because you ruined it? You didn't possibly think that this time would be any different due to being older, did you? When will you realize that you're just unwanted. A waste of life. A disgrace."
Daisy closed her eyes and tucked her chin to her chest, desperately trying to stay calm. Those words were constantly flowing through her mind. That's how she always considered herself; a waste of life.
"Coulson called and pleaded with me to take you away." At the man's name, Daisy's eyes snapped open as she stared at the nun with hurt eyes "Apparently he doesn't have the guts to tell you that he doesn't want you anymore. Then there was a woman named May who took the phone and demanded that I come as soon as possible. They explained how the rest of the team wanted you gone as well. That they regret not leaving you behind in the future."
That last statement really hit her hard.
She desperately wanted to stay behind in the future to ensure that earth would survive and the others could live without fearing the future they experience with the Kree. She knew that if she stayed behind then that was the best option for everyone else. However, when she tried to explain this to Coulson and May, they weren't as understanding. They were persistent that they would figure something out, that they would all be together to do so. Then at one point, realizing that time was running out, Coulson iced her and carried her back. They all seemed desperate at the time to guarantee she made it back home with them.
What changed?
It could have been that they saw the first symbol that the end is drawing near. The beacon of light that came from the sky. Then Yoyo, whose arms were chopped off from their new enemy.
Maybe they realized that the future they witnessed was unavoidable.
If that was the case, then why would they call Saint Agnes?
They could have easily told her that they regret bringing her back. Would she have been hurt? Oh absolutely but she would have understood. She wanted this in the first place; to stay behind to protect them. She would do whatever it takes to protect them and the world.
On top of that; why would Coulson call them? With May demanding them too?
That truly didn't make sense because those two were like her parents, or so she thought, and they couldn't fathom leaving her behind in the future to begin with. When she suggested it, they both instantly said no and that there had to be another way. Coulson even stated that if she stayed behind then they would go on each and every day regretting that she wasn't with them.
Could Coulson and May truly hate me that they would have Sister Sarah come take me away?
"You may have changed on the outside but you are still the same little girl at Saint Agnes." Sister Sarah's voice filled her ears and she looked up to realize that the nun was only three feet away from her.
The nun stared intensely into her eyes, earning her full attention "You still hurt everyone around you. You are always causing problems; always at the center of it. You ruin everything you touch and can never have something nice. Can never be good enough to be loved or cared for. Not important to anyone. Always making the same mistakes of being around good people."
Daisy took a shaky breath, feeling guilt wash over her body. She noticed that the nun held out a pale, wrinkled hand. Daisy felt as if she couldn't breath as she could only watch the hand reach up and rested on her shoulder. The moment the hand landed on her, she felt ice spread over her entirely and she felt like death. Groggily, she looked into the blank eyes that stared directly into hers.
This time, when Sister Sarah spoke, it wasn't the overly sweet voice. It was raspier and darker.
"Let's go, Mary Sue Poots."
Daisy bowed her head in shame and felt her body suddenly move without her doing so on her own. It was as if the nun was controlling her. Though, Daisy didn't fight this. If Sister Sarah was going to take her away to allow the others to survive and live their lives happily then so be it. She was fine with leaving; she had left plenty of families over the years. However, this one would be a lot harder to do because she loved each of her teammates more than she had ever loved anyone before. Coulson and May more so than anyone else.
She was doing this for them.
She was fine with that.
Daisy!
She could of sworn she heard a voice break through the thick, icy fog that seemed to have form around the body. She didn't pay any attention to it at first, she simply just allowed the nun to whisk her away to God knows where.
"Daisy!"
The voice was back and louder than before. Clearly, someone was shouting for her.
Daisy weakly raised her head and before she could fully put a face to the voice, she heard it much louder,
"Daisy! Look out!"
Daisy felt someone shove her back, knocking her onto her stomach onto the floor. As soon as she landed on the cool pavement she felt warmth wash over her body, filling her with life once more. She shook her head violently as she tried to clear the fogginess that enclosed her mind just seconds before. She pressed her hands on the ground and turned her head over her shoulder to see May squaring up against the nun.
Any other time this would have been an hilarious scene; agent May fighting with a nun.
Daisy squeaked in surprise when she felt a strong hand enclose around her bicep and hauled her up to her feet. She didn't even protest and just stared at the culprit,
"Coulson," She breathed out, instantly sagging against him due to weakness.
Coulson wrapped one arm around her, securing her tightly against his chest. He gently shushed her "Hey, it's ok, kiddo. Everything is going to be fine. Are you ok?"
Daisy couldn't verbally talk at the moment so she just nodded against his chest. She inhaled his scent of cologne and instantly felt at peace. She opened her eyes and noticed how his free arm was pointing a gun at the nun. She tensed up when she looked at the nun.
"May!" Coulson called out, earning the other woman's attention.
The second the couple locked eyes with each other, May took a step back and Coulson fired three shots at the nun. The nun's mouth fell open in shock and she staggered backwards. Her hands flew to her stomach, where the shots were fired at, before her head snapped up. She screeched and took a single step forward. However, the second she took the step, Coulson fired four more shots. After the last bullet was fired, the nun gave a loud screech of agony and dissolved in thin air.
Just like that, Sister Sarah was gone.
"Does shooting a nun mean I'm going straight to Hell?" Coulson broke the awkward silence with the obscure question and he chuckled at his own little joke.
However, Daisy and May didn't laugh along. In fact, Daisy could only shiver as she stared at the spot the nun last stood.
She nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a slender hand upon her back. She turned her head and saw May pull her hand back and held it in the air, indicating she meant no harm.
Daisy gulped hard as she pushed away from Coulson, ignoring the hurt look upon the man's face, and walked several feet away from the duo. She ran her hands through her hair and took several deep breaths, desperately wanting to calm down. She didn't want Coulson and May witnessing her breakdown. She couldn't allow them that burden.
"Daisy, who was that nun?" May asked the obvious question.
Safe question to start off with. Not going too deep but needing to know. God this is so embarrassing.
Daisy kept her hands in her hair as she looked down at her black boots, noticing how her vision was becoming blurry due to the tears that filled her eyes.
Don't you dare cry!
Taking a deep breath, she replied in a shaky voice "Sis-Sister Sarah." She swallowed hard and added "She-she was one of the nuns at Sa-Saint Ag-Agnes."
She dug her nails into her scalp as she tried to calm down. Why was she freaking out when nothing happened?
Nothing happened…right?
Daisy slowly turned around, her hands still clenching her hair, and noticed how Coulson and May were carefully watching her. It was as if they were expecting her to do something reckless or run away from them. They were on guard.
Daisy gulped hard and turned her head closer to the crook of her right arm, her forehead resting against her right forearm as she stared at the closest people she had to parents. She felt guilty for them standing there, staring at her with great concern. They deserved a break from it all and from her. All she did was cause trouble. Just look at what was happening right now.
After what felt like eternity, Daisy licked her dry lips and softly asked "Was…was she…"
"No, Daisy." Coulson answered, understanding what the inhuman was trying to ask "She was just a part of the fear dimension. Simply a figment of your imagination."
Daisy nodded and bit the bottom of her lip to stop her lips from quivering. She released a shaky breath from her nose and squeezed her eyes shut when a headache suddenly formed. This was all too much. It's hard for one to wrap their mind around everything that had just occurred. However, Daisy knew that the fear dimension was real and was the threat right now. How the hell did she not realize this sooner?
I knew it though. I knew Sister Sarah wasn't actually here. That it had to be the fear dimension but in a sense, it felt too real.
She was right; I am just as naïve as when I was a young, hopeful kid.
"Daisy," May's voice cause Daisy's eyes to snap open and she looked up to see the older woman take a single step towards her "she wasn't real. You're safe now. We're here."
Daisy shook her head and she finally dropped her hands down to her side "No. I can't be here. I shouldn't be here!"
She watched as confusion flashed over the older woman's face before concern replaced it for a brief second as skepticism filled her eyes "What did it tell you?"
"Why does it matter what it said?" Daisy asked defensively. She couldn't comprehend why they cared about what the nun was saying to her? If it was just a fragment of the fear dimension, then why did they care about it? They destroyed it. It's in the past now.
Coulson locked eyes with her and cautiously approached her "Daisy, whatever it said was just trying to get into your head. Just disregard everything it was trying to say because whatever it said wasn't true and-"
"It wasn't true?" Daisy spat back in disgust. She threw her hands up in the air in aggravation and growled out "Everything it said was true! I shouldn't be here! You should have just left me in the future!"
"Stop." Coulson ordered as he shook his own head "Don't say that."
"Why? It's the truth, isn't it? Everything that happened in the future is coming true here! We already witnessed one of the events and we all know the endgame!" Daisy pounded her chest with her right fist, trying to emphasize her point "You should have never brought me back!"
"Hey!" Coulson was in front of her instantly, grabbing her right wrist to stop her from hurting herself "That's enough!" He kept a strong grip on the girl as she struggled to pull away from him.
"No! Stop! You should have let her taken me!" Daisy cried out in anger and frustration, desperately trying to get out of the man's grip.
"Taken you?" Coulson grabbed Daisy's left bicep and shook her slightly, trying to gather her attention "Kiddo, where was the nun going to take you? And who exactly was that nun?"
Daisy had no idea if it was from Coulson shaking her back to reality or if her panic attack, yes that was what she was just suffering from, finally ended. She took a shaky deep breath and finally uttered shakily "That was Sister Sarah. She was going to take me back to Saint Agnes."
"Why?" Coulson asked in confusion.
Daisy simply gave a single shoulder shrug.
"She always took you back to Saint Agnes, didn't she." May spoke up, not exactly asking the question but stating the facts.
Daisy turned her gaze to the woman she considered a mother and simply gave her a pitiful look. This caused May to exhale through her nose as she shook her own head while looking up towards the ceiling.
"Whenever I saw her, I knew I was going back." Daisy sighed as she refocused her attention to the floor and quietly admitted "It was either my fault, you know cause I always messed up. Or if the family that took me in just didn't want me anymore. It became a pattern."
Suddenly, she felt Coulson's fingers grip her chin and tilted her head up so they can lock eyes with one another; blue eyes met brown. "Hey. You're not going anywhere. You're stuck with us, angel eyes. You hear me? We're not letting you go. Not now. Not ever."
Daisy sniffled "You can't guarantee that, Coulson."
"No," May cut in, earning the duo to look over at her "we can't. However, you can bet your ass that we will put up a hell of a fight to protect you and keep you with us."
"Really?" Daisy timidly asked, not wanting to get her hopes up once more.
May nodded and Coulson verbally confirmed "Really."
Daisy nodded and she fell forward against Coulson's chest. She released a shaky breath when she felt Coulson's arms wrap around her, slightly rocking back and forth. This feeling of comfort instantly relaxed the inhuman. All the fears she had was still in the back of her mind, those fears about her ruining everything and her family throwing her out will always remain with her because this had been her fear for years.
She felt May's cool hand rest on her upper back, right between her shoulder blades, and she felt the woman rub it soothingly. Daisy turned her head, still keeping her cheek pressed against the man's chest, and stared up at the woman she considered a mother. She saw the tiniest smile form on the woman's face, a smile which most people wouldn't be able to see, and Daisy instantly knew that she was in good hands. That May was not going to let her go again nor would Coulson. They were her parents after all and she knew they would move Heaven and Earth just to find her. They've done so before.
Despite knowing that Coulson and May wouldn't let her go, she couldn't shake the fear of them deciding that they finally had enough of her and wanting her gone.
Their moment of silence was rudely interrupted by the crackling of the radio.
"Coulson?" Fitz voice crackled through.
Daisy looked up at the Director and watched as he rolled his eyes in annoyance before he carefully removed his left arm off his daughter and grabbed his walkie talkie from his back pocket "Fitz,"
"If you could come back to the control room. There's something you guys need to see."
Fitz spoke through the radio.
"We'll be right there." Coulson answered before placing the walkie talkie back in his pocket. He rubbed his daughter's back and placed a kiss on the top of her head "Are you ready to go back in there, kiddo?"
Daisy nodded and slowly took a step back, wiping her eyes with the crook of her arm. She released a shaky breath and crossed her arms across her chest, physically holding herself together.
May reached forward and brushed the hair out of Daisy's face, tucking a piece behind her ear, and patted her girl's cheek in a loving manner.
Coulson sighed "Let's go back and put an end to this fear dimension once and for all. I think we all deserve that, right?" With that, he started to walk down the hallway back to the elevator to get back to the control room.
May gave the girl a look before she too turned and followed the Director down the hall.
Daisy took a step towards her parents but froze in her spot as she turned her head and looked down the opposite hallway. She stared down the hallway and squinted when she could have sworn she saw a shadow move amongst the darkness. She tilted her head and tried to focus harder on the shadow she saw but before she could decipher anything, she felt something touch her shoulder.
She jumped at the touch but calmed down instantly when she saw the culprit;
"Hey, guys."
"Come on, kiddo. Let's get out of here." Coulson ordered as he kept his hand on the girl and moved her in front of him and May before they all made their way down the hall.
Daisy couldn't help but feel two things.
The first thing; she felt loved and protected. From the small things her parents did for her. Like them following her and searching for her. Them protecting her from anything and everything. She never had that growing up and it felt wonderful to have the parents she dreamed of here right now. She would eternally be grateful for them and she will always love them.
The second thing; she felt fear still rising in her. The fear of her family deciding they don't want her anymore. That they realized they would be better off without her. Or that they realized they made a mistake of bringing her back because that ensured the end of the world would be here sooner than they thought.
The nun of Sister Sarah was her fear that the fear dimension managed to produce to reality because it symbolized her fear of her family not wanting her anymore and she would be sent away once again.