There is nothing Athena Cykes can love about bad video games in this tenth game review of the story, as she reviews the video game McKids for the NES, based on the biggest fast food restaurant chain McDonald's.

One weekend, Athena was writing something at her desk. During this, she heard someone open the door.

Athena then turned around and see who entered. It was Phoenix Wright's adoptive daughter and her beautiful girlfriend, Trucy Wright.

"Hey, Athena. What are you working on?", Trucy greeted, who has come to check on her beloved girlfriend.

The orange-haired girl said, "Ah, just a little song I'm working on. I've worked really hard on investigations and bad games lately..."

"What kind of song?", the brunette curiously asked, "Is it a love song?"

The female lawyer shrugged off, "Well, it's-"

The curious Trucy snatches the paper to take a look and read the lyrics, "She's gonna take you back to the past...to play some shitty games that suck ass...?", before wondering, "What do these lyrics mean by that?"

"The games I've been playing in my spare time... They were horrible. Top Gun, Silver Surfer, Virtual Boy, TMNT, Back to the Future, The Karate Kid, Roger Rabbit, Castlevania II, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde... They were just...bad. So after my last review, I thought to myself of making a song about them.", Athena confessed.

Her girlfriend replied, "Are you kidding, sweetheart? This song's good! I know it sounds a bit obscure, but the song definitely sounds it brings justice to those bad games. Pretty much like it does for you and my dad Phoenix's cases and investigations."

"You think so? Well, I'll be. I was about to review another game today since there's not much investigations today.", told the orange-haired girl.

The brunette answered back, "Okay... Maybe someday if you finish it...then would it be possible if I could sing it?"

"Sure! Maybe sooner, maybe later, who knows. But you'll definitely have the chance to sing it.", Athena sweetly ensured.

Trucy said, her heart warmed up, "Thank you, babe! Gotta go meet with my dad. Catch you later!"

Athena smiled as she watched Trucy go off and leave her room, winking and tipping her magician hat before closing the door.

"Now then.", the female lawyer said.

She grabs a game called McKids as she placed it on the NES, turning the console on and thus starting the next review.

Athena Cykes' Game Review of McKids

Athena Cykes started off, "McKids is nothing more than an advertising vehicle, much like games such as Yo! Noid and 7-Eleven Spot. Now some people out there may actually like this game, and to be fair, it isn't one of the worst games in the NES library. There are definitely much crappier games such as Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout and Silver Surfer, for example. So anyway, let's check out McKids.", before beginning the gameplay, "So there's Ronald with his magic bag... bag of hallucinogenic drugs. I always thought that clown was one scary motherfucker. The Hamburglar stole his bag, apparently. Alright, this is the first level. Now, does it look familiar? So where have I seen this before? Jumping around, collecting M's. Oh, like coins in Mario Bros.? Like, yeah, that's where I've seen this! It's just like Super Mario Bros. 3. Let's check it out. I mean, the map looks similar, same idea; the stages are designed the same. Jumping on enemies, I mean... everything looks the same. Mario's controls are a lot better, though. Well, pretty much everything is better.", and then resumes the game, "So back to McKids. You know, I changed my mind. It actually is pretty original. I mean, walkin' upside-down, I mean, that's pretty creative."

She sees the in-game character suddenly spinning around and moving backwards at high-speed during the level.

"Whoa, makes me feel sick. They must have been on crack when they came up with this game. So you go around collecting cards that ya need to beat the level. So...there you go, into Ronald's magic zipper, running around through Magic McDonald World.", the orange-haired attorney groans in nausea just before seeing the in-game character spinning around and moving backwards again, "God, that really makes me nauseous. And don't try to kill anything with those blocks; that really doesn't work too well. Collect some more useless M's that don't do anything...", Athena then says as she collects the M's in one part of the current level before being sent to a bonus level, "Alright, here's a shitty bonus game. You jump on these arrows that make ya go up. You gotta jump on the white ones until you get to the top, and then when you get to the top, you go into another zipper, and you collect some 1-ups which, aren't really that important because, there's a part where you can get a whole bunch of 'em. Then you go to Birdie's stage. Stupid feathered fucking bird bitch."

At one point during another level featuring Birdie, Athena saw a bunch of M's that's shaped together like a smile with two eyes.

Athena chuckled, "Heh, cute smiley face. You know what's a big problem with this game? I mean, you never know what's below you. You just fall and die.", witnessing her in-game character fall and lose a life, "Fuckballs! This game's so bad, they actually invented a way to end it by pushing Start and Select at the same time. So you get this block which makes ya heavier, so you can jump higher, well, lower, really. And now, you have another 1-up that you don't need, so that's just a waste of time.", who then gets an extra life being backtracking a bit and attempting to jump across a taller gap but falls and loses a life once again, "Oh, and look! I died anyway, so, what a waste.", as she sees a snowman-like enemy chasing after the character in one part of the level that eventually kills him and loses yet another life, "Oh, God! Look, a McFlurry man! Those guys are badass!"

She also comes across a hard-to-reach area where a card pick-up item was to be retrieved as a bonus.

"So how do I get that card? Oh, every kid knows how to do this. Just get the secret passageway under the clouds. Yeah, that's easy to figure out. Kids will have the patience to figure that out, 'cause, you know, kids have a lot of patience...especially the ones with ADD.", explained the female lawyer before resuming to the next level, "Then you go to Grimace's board. Here's Grimace, the big purple fuck. Look at his house! It looks like Barney the Dinosaur's testicle.", whilst she proceeds to the next level featuring Grimace, "Okay, so here's the part where you can get a billion 1-ups. So ya get just two 1-ups here, and then you go back into the board again. You die here, but ya always get one extra, so if you have an hour to waste, then, there ya go. Have fun. You're completely wasting your time anyway if you're playing this game. Let alone review it. But some people like to call 1-ups extra guys or free mans. I like to call them life insurance."; Athena comes to a part where she tried to use the springs in the game to reach a tall part in the level whilst the in-game character is holding an item as she criticized the jumping mechanics, "Look how bad the jumps are. Look at this. What a shitload of fuck! All I wanna do is get down to that barrel, but it's such a pain in the ass! And it keeps bouncing me back up! Fuckfarts! It never ends with this game. It's just like an infinite turd coming out of my ass, just like an endless rope. I mean, when the fuck's it gonna be over? I can't stand this shit!"

Later on in the game, Athena sees the in-game character confront a moose as a common enemy in the next level.

Athena said, "Watch the moose! Grab a block and try to kill him... Unfortunately, it just bounces and misses him.", who then examines a few other levels where she falls off a few hazards leading to progressive areas of the game's levels, "Now look at this. Would ya ever guess that you're supposed to jump off this cliff?"; she also sees an airship similar to the Mario games, "And this ship really minds me of Super Mario Bros. 3 again. And also, why is this guy walking on water? Who does he think he is?", she then says before progressing to the following level featuring the professor, "Then you gotta talk to the Professor, another one of Ronald's stoner friends...and he tells you to get more cards, which makes me just wanna punch him. Even worse, you gotta go to the moon, where you meet CosMc. Now who the hell's CosMc? Did they run out of McDonalds characters? What about Captain Crook or Big Mac? No, CosMc. I never heard of him. I guess there's nothing more you can expect but a shitty character like that. I mean I bet the people who designed the game were paid minimum wage.", before describing the moon level, "So anyway, you're on the moon, so you're floating around, and then there's these tentacles that come out and kill ya wherever you go. And ya really gotta bust your balls to find all those cards. Like, there's this one that's high up in the air, and even when you get it, you jump back down and something kills you and you gotta start the whole level all over again... Assballs!", summarizing this when she tries to look for one of the cards in said level, losing a life in the process.

She reaches the last part of the game, featuring a character named Robble Robble.

"So here you are at the last stage, Robble Robble. You gotta get the cards from Hamburglar. So, you gotta get across the lava by throwing these blocks in it while all this stuff is shooting at ya. Fuck!", the orange-haired girl synopsized before moving on to the difficult part of the level (being the track hazard), "So look at this. This is some kind track ya have to move on. But ya can't because the controls are so hard. So do ya hit A or B? I don't know; I have no idea how to control this. You'd think you can just hold the A button or something, but no, of-of course not. That would be too simple. They have to make it like, you do these little taps with the button to make it move. And the controls just...suck ass. What a piece of shit! A little kid could never figure this out.", climaxing, "So finally, when you get through all these crazy obstacles, you get up here, you walk all the way to this lava pit, and you don't have any blocks to float over it. You can't go around it, so...what do you do? Guess you just gotta commit suicide.", she ended the game as the in-game character jumps and loses yet another life in the lava.

Athena turns off the console as always, removing the game and tossing it away.

To conclude her McKids review, Athena said, "I give up. Enough said of McKids. That's how far I can go. That's another game down for me...", before going back to her normal routine for the day, working on more lyrics for the song she was writing.

End of Athena Cykes' Game Review of McKids

Up Next: Athena Cykes' Game Review of Wally Bear and the NO! Gang