I'm not great at writing super angsty drama, but I felt like I wanted there to be real consequences from all the stakes that I put them through; especially since (in the show) the characters always end up being just fine after a massive hit or a huge cut or scratch.

This is hopefully the path to healing now.

Thank you again, everyone, who is reviewing - it means so much to me that you couldn't possibly imagine how much!

Without further ado, chapter 11!

-Song

Beast Boy dressed in comfortable civilian clothes and came down to the common room of the Titan's Tower only an hour later.

He was surprised to see that Raven was alone. She sat on a barstool and nursed a hot cup of green tea while wearing a pair of dark jeans and a cotton long sleeve, twirling the teacup around and around in her hands.

No one else was there to greet him, and that was both worrisome and a little hurtful.

"Where," he began, his voice hoarse from disuse, "is everyone?"

Raven turned.

"I'm sorry," she said, "Starfire is on Tamaran, helping the Tamaraneans make plans against the aliens that attacked us here, and Robin is off explaining it all to the League. Cyborg… you need to talk to him soon. I can't get him out of his garage."

Beast Boy stood in the doorway, his hunger and thirst almost forgotten, as he processed the information.

"How long have I…?"

"Three weeks."

He swallowed thickly.

"You look..." she started, but her eyes narrowed in on him. "Your ear."

He raised a hand and touched his left ear self-consciously.

"Lost a little bit of myself," he told her, "out there."

Raven heard the haunted lilt in his voice. She felt his emotions roll over her in dark waves, which touched her and left her cold.

"Come on," she said. "Stop standing in the doorway and eat something. You're probably hungry."

He stepped down the stairs and into the kitchen. His immediate instinct was to eat, but instead, he reached for a tall glass from the cupboard. He filled it with cool water and drank it down in one breath. Then another. Then he filled it a third time and reached for the fridge.

She watched him silently as he stared into the open fridge, which was stocked with food, and his broad shoulders rose and lowered in an anguished sigh. Her eyes widened a fraction when she finally saw the scar just beneath the collar of his shirt. When he turned back to her and sat down on the barstool to her right, he held a container of hummus and a bag of baby carrots in his hands.

He didn't eat them right away. Just stared.

"Beast Boy…" she said softly, and he turned to look at her.

His eyes had dark bags beneath them, and they looked puffy. His eyebrow was slashed, and hair that would never grow back was missing halfway through it, as though something had cut his eye. He faked a smile.

"Hey, come on, I'm-"

"Don't say it," she warned, "if you don't mean it."

He faltered then, smile falling, eyes even more tired than before. His breathing hitched a little, and she reached out and touched his left hand, which was shaking.

"It hurts," he hissed through gritted teeth. "It hurts."

She didn't ask 'what' because she assumed that he meant all of it. She pulled her hand away and grabbed his food and her teacup without another word. She took them to the coffee table and waited for him to join her on the couch, where it was far more comfortable than the barstools. When it looked like he wanted to retreat and leave the room, she shot him a serious look. He followed her, and they sat facing each other on the couch cushions, cross-legged.

"What happened?" they both asked at the same time.

"You first," he said.

Raven told him about what happened after the Beast took him away. How Robin and Cyborg discussed whether or not to look for him, but that without the communicator, it would take ages to track him, and that both Cyborg and Raven had needed too much rest and recovery to go on a rescue mission, and Starfire had needed to go to Tamaran as soon as possible. That left only Robin as a search party of one. If Beast Boy hadn't returned soon, they would most assuredly have gone looking. Until then, Robin had told them to wait until he got back and both Raven and Cyborg were healed up.

Then Raven told him about Cyborg's paranoia, about his obsession and locking himself in the garage. When they questioned Cyborg, he was irritable and sensitive about his tech and its limitations; he was desperate to find a fix. His obsession worried her.

"He keeps missing half the day down there," she explained, "and won't come out when I knock. Not even for pizza."

Beast Boy made a mental vow to go see Cyborg next.

Then she told him about herself. How Starfire had explained the poison and how it would affect her. Raven explained her feebleness, how her heart had been strained, how her powers would wind her too quickly. She explained that flying was too hard, and her feet hadn't left the ground since the forest. She said that she couldn't do magic the same way yet.

Raven reached out her left hand.

"Something's wrong with it," she said. "I assume you saw me on the beach."

He nodded.

"I can't feel it sometimes, so it makes everything unstable," she said, her voice very quiet. "I tried using it as a solo conduit for my power, but without being able to feel it, I can't guide my power, and it just…"

"Explodes?" He reached out and took her hand, which was shaking.

She glanced up at him, surprised.

"Can you feel me?" he asked her.

She could feel him, but it was strange - like she was wearing a glove with a layer of sand inside between them. He rubbed her fingers and her palm with both of his hands, and she wanted to cry for how strange and alien it all felt.

"Yes, a little. Cyborg thinks it's nerve damage."

"I'm so sorry," he told her, "we should have been more careful with those things."

"We didn't know," she said, remembering Robin's words. "We couldn't have known."

"You almost…"

"You didn't come back," she interrupted, avoiding the subject of her any longer.

He dropped her hand, aware that they were now going to talk about him.

"I tried," he said, a soft smile ghosting his lips, but it disappeared quickly. "He wouldn't let me."

"Tell me."

"I can't I…"

"You don't remember much, do you? You always say that you don't remember when it happens."

He did remember - in his dreams - and he could tell her if he wanted. About the ripped apart animals, their screams, the cold river, the fights with predators, nearly attacking those hikers, the endless running, the exhaustion in his bones. He could tell her all of it, but he didn't think it mattered anymore.

"I'm home. It's over now."

"No, it isn't," she snapped. "You look…"

"Awful?"

"Crushed."

He didn't look her in the eyes. He pressed his palms to the sides of his neck and sighed, thinking. After some deliberation, he tugged off his shirt. He wasn't sure it was the best idea, for how bad it looked, but somehow, he felt like this would be better than trying to vocalize it all aloud.

Raven wasn't the kind to gasp at things, for which he was grateful. She took it all in stride and surveyed the damage as best she could. He looked like a wild man. He was covered in wounds and scars, and bruises. Before, he had probably had layers of dirt on his skin, but even after showering, he still looked like he belonged to the wild.

He also looked older than before. Exhausted.

Beast Boy pulled up his pant leg and showed her his ankle, which was bruised, swollen, and probably had been sprained. Even if she didn't show it, it broke her heart to see Beast Boy, usually so jovial, looking completely defeated.

She rested her right hand on his ankle and channeled waves of power to it.

"Wait, don't!" he exclaimed. "You're not ready."

"You did this for me," she said. "Let me repay it."

Her healing power was weaker, but Beast Boy could feel something immediately happening. The sinew that had been torn during his fight with the bear began to knit itself back together. Raven continued until it was nearly healed and beads of sweat pooled under her hair. Then she stopped and leaned back on both hands and panted. Beast Boy watched her with amazement.

"Don't feel that way, Rae," he said after a moment while she caught her breath. "I mean, thank you, but like… don't feel guilty. I didn't mean for you to feel that way. I just wanted to save you."

Raven looked over at all of his scars and bruises, and a deep sadness fell over her. "You did."

"Stop," he said. He leaned forward and grabbed her right hand this time, pulling her back up to a sitting position. She felt him acutely. "Don't act like this is… I don't know, quantifiable. Like all this damage and your life can be weighed against each other."

Raven blinked at him, and she surprised herself by squeezing his hand. "When did you start talking like that?"

He smiled. "What, like a smart person? I dunno."

They held hands like that for a minute before he released her again. She felt cold without him. Then he put his shirt back on and reached for his food. Watching him eat gave her another wave of relief, and he went through the bag of carrots so quickly she was sure he would head straight back to the fridge, but he didn't.

"I have to go see Cy," he told her, standing. "You gonna be okay?"

She stood up, too. "Yeah."

Without thinking about it first, she threw her arms around his neck again, this time more gently, now that she had seen the state of him. His arms wrapped around her waist and held her there. She pressed her face against his chest.

"I'm glad you're home."

He dipped his head and smiled into her shoulder.

"Me, too, Rae."

Cyborg didn't look up right away when the knock came at the garage door, nor did he even pay it any mind.

He heard it, of course, but it didn't matter.

Nothing matters until I can perfect myself.

"You sound like Brother Blood," came a voice next to him.

Cyborg fell off his workbench stool and hit the cement floor with a loud crack. Beast Boy was standing there in civilian clothes, looking exhausted, and there was a nasty scar protruding from under his shirt collar.

"What?"

"Perfection?" Beast Boy repeated. "Sounds like Brother Blood."

"I… said that out loud?"

Beast Boy put his hand out to help Cyborg up.

"You did. Come on, man, what's going on?"

Cyborg took Beast Boy's hand, and Beast Boy hauled him to his feet. They stood facing one another for a moment. Then they hugged. Beast Boy tried not to cry out in pain from Cyborg's strong arms, which crushed him.

"Hey, man, what the Hell is that?" Cyborg pointed to Beast Boy's ear after he released him.

"A souvenir. What the Hell is all this?"

Beast Boy gestured at the workbench, which was littered with projects half-finished, and others barely started. The panel in Cyborg's chest was open and revealed a mess of wires and the glow of his power core.

"Rae wasn't the only one who almost died, you know," Cyborg said quietly. "Except I almost died from something stupid, like running out of juice."

"What about your backup solar stuff?"

"Dead. Must've gotten damaged in the car crash at the beginning."

"What about your-?"

"None of it works well, BB! I don't work!"

Beast Boy winced at his tone. "Come on, dude. Don't say that."

Cyborg sighed and turned his face away. "How did you get in here anyway?"

"Came down the chimney."

Cyborg shot him a look.

"I morphed into a housefly and used the air duct. What does it matter? Why didn't you answer when I knocked? Why are you down here ignoring Raven? What is with you? You say you don't work, and I guess that's for damn sure if you're going to hide away in here for days-"

Cyborg pushed Beast Boy backward roughly. He didn't think it was that strong of a push until Beast Boy fell to the concrete floor and cried out in pain. Cyborg's eye went wide, and he immediately regretted it.

"Damn, BB, I'm sorry-!"

Beast Boy pushed his offered hand away and helped himself up off the ground. "No, don't. I'm sorry, dude… you're really going through something, aren't you?"

"You too, I bet. I didn't… I didn't think you were coming back."

"Same."

Cyborg put his hands over his face and sighed.

"I just… I can't let something like that happen again."

"So, what? You're down here trying to invent infinite energy for your body? Isn't that like... impossible?"

"I mean…"

"Dude, why not just improve on what you already have?"

"I thought that I already had! I thought I'd cracked the code, you know, but…"

Beast Boy sighed. "There's always something else to deal with, huh?"

"Exactly."

Beast Boy sank to the floor and rested his back against an empty space on the concrete wall. It was cold to the touch.

"Dude, that's what it's all about, isn't it? Stuff we can't control and us being pissed about it until we accept it and move on, right? Look at me. I got taken for a joy ride for two weeks and spent another week getting back down here from Washington on foot. I'm exhausted. You're exhausted. I get it. But…"

"But this is in my control if I can just-"

"And if you can't? You gotta move on! We'll get smarter, you'll upgrade your tech, and we'll take better precautions. Don't sit in here and mope for days and try to make yourself perfect if there's nothing you can do. Do what you can and move on."

Cyborg sank back down onto his workbench stool.

"You're talking about the Beast, aren't you?"

"I'm talking about you."

Cyborg laughed without humor. "It's the same thing, isn't it? You're unstable. So am I."

"Yours has a code. You just have to crack it again and again. Upgrade. Mine isn't like that."

"I'm sorry I couldn't find a cure for that."

"Well, make up for it by helping Raven."

"She showed you her hand?"

"I watched her try to use her powers. Didn't end well. She's messed up pretty bad. I don't know how to help her... but maybe you can."

Cyborg joined him on the floor, and they sat side-by-side together against the wall.

"I'll do what I can."

"I know."

They sat there for a while, the silence settling comfortably over them, but they knew that things wouldn't be the same for a while. Maybe never. Beast Boy couldn't help with Raven's hand or Cyborg's tech, but he was home now. He could do other things; whatever they needed, he would do it.

"You can figure this out," he told Cyborg, "and if you can't, I mean, hey, we'll still be here. We've got your back, dude."

Cyborg smiled to himself and gazed over the mess that currently was the Titans' garage. Maybe it was time he got out of the house.

"Thanks, man."

Robin returned the next day.

He looked even more exhausted than when he'd left in the first place. Dark bags were visible beneath his eyes, even beneath the mask, and he skulked through the front doors of the Titan's tower at half-past noon.

Cyborg was alerted first by his arrival, and he paused in preparing lunch to stare at his wrist, which was blinking.

"What's up?" Beast Boy asked from the barstool.

"Robin's back," Cyborg said.

Raven looked up from her book, which was perched between the fingers of her right hand. Her left was bound in a temporary pressure brace.

"Where is he?" she asked.

"Coming up the hallway now."

A few moments later, the doors to the common room slid open, and Robin appeared.

"Dude," Beast Boy said. "You look awful."

Robin stopped in the doorway and stared for a moment.

"You're back."

Beast Boy smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, got back yesterday. I didn't mean to take so long."

"Why wasn't I notified?" Robin asked, turning at once to Raven, then Cyborg.

Uh oh. He's in a mood, Cyborg thought.

"Robin," Raven said sternly, "Beast Boy is home."

Robin sighed, and his shoulders dropped. He went down the stairs and crossed to the kitchen where Beast Boy stood and clasped his hand in his. Robin finally smiled.

"I'm glad you're safe. I was worried about you."

Beast Boy let out a relieved breath. "I was worried, too. I didn't know how long it had been since I'd been human, and I couldn't morph back to ask anyone the date."

"Why not?" Raven asked offhandedly.

"Cause' when BB comes out of Beast Mode, he's totally naked," Cyborg laughed. He turned back to the counter and continued preparing their lunch, adding extra for Robin.

"Oh," Raven said, an involuntary - and highly noticeable - blush creeping over her fresh skin. "I didn't need to know that."

Beast Boy remembered how she had hugged him in the water when he appeared before her as a wolf and blushed too. Robin ignored the exchange and gave Beast Boy a heavy pat on the shoulder.

"Well, you're home now. How do you feel?"

"Um, I'm okay, I think."

Beast Boy watched as Robin gave him a once-over, and he waited to be asked about the chip in his ear, the scar creeping up his neck, but Robin was more tactful than that.

"Meet with me later today, after dinner."

"Yes, sir," Beast Boy said.

"And Raven?" Robin asked.

She held up her hand, which was in the brace as an answer. She was supposed to keep it on until Cyborg finished running his tests, all of which were still inconclusive on the lasting effects of the alien poison. Cyborg was beginning to think that Starfire would be his best resource on Raven's condition whenever she returned from Tamaran.

Cyborg answered for her.

"Her power output is 75% of what it was, plus feeling in her hand is at less than 60%. I'm still running tests, but..."

"But Starfire might know more than we do."

"Have you heard from her?" Raven asked.

"No," Robin said, sitting next to Beast Boy at the bar. "I'm sure she's caught up in her planet's war, but I'm worried. Tamaran isn't just going to let the narrowly avoided Xaltan colonization of Earth go. If she doesn't contact us by the weekend, I'm going to Tamaran to pull her out of there."

"If she lets you," Beast Boy grinned.

"Yeah," he agreed, "if she lets me."

It was Tuesday, so they hoped that Robin wouldn't have to go. It was hard enough last night for Beast Boy to pull Cyborg out of his funk on his own.

Where would they all be if Robin and Starfire both were on another planet entirely?

"So," Robin asked, "what's for lunch?"

Beast Boy met with Robin that night in his office, which was tucked into the western wing of the tower.

"Alright," Robin said, leaning against the desk, arms crossed, "show me."

Beast Boy's ears flattened down in embarrassment. He pulled his t-shirt over his head and held it bunched in his right hand. Robin kept his arms crossed and frowned the whole time, surveying his teammate's condition.

"How do you really feel, then?"

"I'm..."

Beast Boy hesitated. He didn't want to voice the words aloud.

"Do you need to talk to someone?"

"What do you mean? Like a professional?" Beast Boy laughed, tugging the t-shirt back over his head.

Robin's face remained serious.

Beast Boy's ears fell again.

"I dunno... who is gonna know how to help me with something like this? Cy said there is no cure."

"There's nothing wrong with you," Robin said. Beast Boy looked skeptical. "I mean it. This is just... part of you now. There are others like you, in a way. Those with a sort of... mutation or creature now attached to them. If you want me to find a solution, I will."

Beast Boy hesitated. "I don't know."

"Think about it."

Robin turned back to his desk, dismissing him. Beast Boy hesitated as Robin rifled through papers and tapped at his keyboard. Robin looked up.

"What's wrong?"

"I killed animals."

Robin's eyes widened. "I feel like you need to elaborate."

"While I was gone. I had to hunt, but..."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when I woke up, I was somewhere in Washington. I had to get back on foot. It took me a week and... I got hungry. So I hunted."

"Okay? So, you did what you had to-"

"No, I mean... I did, you're right, but I didn't have to. I could've foraged, eaten plants, done what herbivores do, but... I just couldn't, and when I got home and ate an entire plate of hummus and carrots, I just felt..."

Robin waited.

"Sick."

"Have you... hunted since you came home?"

"No."

"But you want to."

Beast Boy nodded.

"Is it... you or it?"

"He's asleep. It can't be him."

Robin sighed. "Maybe you just need to give it more time. You're coming off of three weeks as a predator, and don't forget that two of those weeks were completely out of your control. Just take it easy on the vegan food, have an egg or two-"

Beast Boy winced.

"-and try to get back to what feels right for you. But I'd prefer it if you weren't hunting in Jump City."

"I won't-"

"Beast Boy," Robin interrupted, his voice stern, "you don't know what you'll do. Don't tell me that you won't until you know that you won't."

Beast Boy bit his tongue. Robin continued.

"I'm glad you're home. I care about you. If you want help, I'll find it for you, but please just be careful until you've come back to yourself. And get Cyborg to check out all those wounds."

He nodded, and Robin seemed satisfied.

"Go get some rest. I've got a ton of shit to log into these reports. I'll see you tomorrow."

Beast Boy left.