A/N: This is what you have been waiting for… sorta.

I literally just need 8 more reviews to beat my precious record, but in all fairness, it took me 14 chapters to get 68 reviews and over here, in this fandom I managed to get 61 in just 8 chapters, which is insane! I love the fandom!

Disclaimer: I do not have much knowledge about medicine. So, please don't take the medical stuff here at face value.

Chapter 9: Arizona

Present Day

I feel embarrassed, thoroughly humiliated, as if someone just cut me open and exposed me to the world. I'm a surgeon, I have done procedures in which people have literally fought each to see it, wrestled and even put money on the outcome.

How could I let something so stupid come out of my mouth? Like really? 'does she sound like me' I cannot believe it! I know the mics are on, I know that! And yet, I managed to make a complete ass out of myself out there.

Things were going so great. I'm so happy for Callie. She hasn't changed a bit. Like I could swear she puked at least twice today. Even though her face was covered by a mask, her eyes told me that she was trying her level best to keep herself calm and focus on just the patient and not the full gallery and the cameras surrounding the OR.

So I did the only thing I could, I approached the glass and placed my hand on it to give her some courage. I told her that she's awesome. I don't even know what made her look up at me because there are literally a lot of people here, but I know she was looking at me and I could tell that she got what I said because I'm one hundred percent sure that she smiled, even though her mask covered most of it, the lines around her eyes told me and my suspicion was confirmed.

Honestly, if I would have been able to get to her before she entered the OR, well that would have been great but I went to the lounge and saw Amelia inside, talking to her while Callie held her baby.

She looked so adorable holding that tiny baby. In fact, I haven't seen her smile, like a genuine smile and not the fake one she puts on her face to fool the world that everything is alright.

I couldn't interrupt that moment. She deserved happiness more than anything in the world. But I was supposed to be the person rubbing her back, brushing her hair as she belched, even if it meant that I would have to clean the puke out of her hair and face.

But I wasn't anymore.

"God, I wish I was down there," Alex said as he stood beside me.

"Hmm, well at least you didn't make a complete ass out of yourself" I whispered, still conscious about the last time I spoke.

A couple of people around me laughed but I gave them my death glare and they stopped just as fast as they started. Great! I still got it!

"Hey, can you come outside?"

"Yeah sure" I said as I grabbed my coat and followed him out.

I would have stayed a while longer but if Alex needed me, well then he got me. He's the only person who truly stuck by me post divorce. I met Callie literally the month I moved to Seattle so I never really made a lot of friends around the hospital, friends that were exclusively mine and not hers. Sure, I had Teddy, but she was left for Germany. So, after Callie left I kind of got lonely, but Alex never left my side.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, why won't I be?"

"Because of what happened inside?"

"Alex! You know me, I say the most random and absurd things"

"Yeah I know that, but I've never seen you get embarrassed by it, that's so unlike you"

Hmm, that's… true, sort of. But I think I felt embarrassed because of the cameras and not because Callie heard what I said. Right? But honestly I wasn't sure, I have a high tolerance for being embarrassed so this is a completely new territory for me.

"I don't know Alex"

"Just get a hold of yourself okay? You got this!"

"Yeah… Thanks!"

Alex turned around to leave but stopped midway.

"Did you check on Lily yet?"

Oh my god! I forgot about my kid, I was supposed to unplug her today, but I thought that her parents should have some time with her to say their goodbyes. But why would Alex asks about her? Is she okay? Did she miraculously heal herself?

"Why? Did she get better?"

"Umm, no. She got worse actually, I think the parents were looking for you to you know, end Lily's pain and suffering"

I nodded at Karev. This is the hard part about being a doctor. Of course saving children gives you immense joy but this, this is just cruel. Lily is in pain and this is the best thing we can do for her. But still, a part of me just…

I take a deep breath before I walk towards her room. That could have easily been Sofia. No, I need to stop thinking about this. Sofia is fine and she has everything she could ever want… well, apart from both her parents cooperating with each other.

But god! Sofia has been so happy lately, ever since Callie spoke to her on her birthday, Sofia has been requesting to talk to Callie almost every single second of the day. I didn't realize how much Sofia missed her mom, I just hope Callie decides to stick around this time.

I reached the patient's room and knocked on the door.

"Dr. Robbins, I think… we think it's time" Lily's father says as he gets up from his chair.

"Umm, are you sure? I know we spoke about giving her thirty days to wake up. But children are resilient, they can come back from much worse"

"Is Lily in pain?"

"Yes" I replied. This poor little girl is in unimaginable pain right now.

"If… If Lily wakes up, will she still be the same?"

I took a deep breath because there is no straight answer for this question.

"If Lily wakes up, she may have some neurological deficits"

"Neurological deficits?"

"Umm, she may have trouble talking, or walking or breathing. It's difficult to say anything right now. She may require more surgeries, but these are all worst case scenarios"

I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate my job.

"And… and the best case scenario"

"She might require a house nurse to look after her, she may be in a lot of pain, she-"

"Dr. Robbins, we didn't think we'd get to celebrate her eighth birthday when she was born. We… we need to let her go now" Lily's mom answered as her father gently stroked her hand.

"Okay, then. After I shut this machine, you may have up to an hour with her before she… umm passes away. I need your verbal consent to switch off life support"

I need to either keep it together or get the hell out of this room as fast as possible.

"Yes Dr. Robbins, you have our consent"

"Okay" I answer as I lean towards the monitor and switch it off. "A nurse will be with you shortly, excuse me" I choke out before I take off running.

Oh god! Lily was doing so well a week ago that I actually thought that she might be able to make a full recovery. This hurts! This hurts so much… I…

Wait, who's that.

I walked towards the couch of the doctor's lounge and saw a child sitting on it holding his head in his hands. I quickly wiped my tears with the back of my hands and sat beside him.

"Are you a doctor?" he asks but he doesn't look up.

"Yes, yes I am. Do you need any help?"

"I think I'm lost," he answers as he looks up. Oh wow, he has a nasty cut on his forehead.

"Hey! You need to get that looked at. Do you mind if I take a look?" I asked. This boy isn't crying which is strange because the cut looks really bad.

"I… I guess" he answers. The boy looks like he is about four maybe five years old but he can speak really well.

"Alright then, can you tell me your name?" I asked but he jerked and moved away from me.

"Mommy says not to give away my name to strangers"

"Umm... How about I tell you my name and then you can tell me yours? My name is Dr. Arizona Robbins, now can you tell me your name?" I asked.

It's something they teach us in med school. If you know your patient's name they find it easier to talk to you if you call them by their name. But in Peds, children are as is reluctant to talk to you, so you need to build a connection with them so you can treat them without them getting squirmy or crying.

"Your name is Arizona?"

"Yes, I know it's a little weird, but that's what makes it awesome" I said as I got up to go to my locker to pull out some bandages. The child would definitely need stitches but I don't have any of these supplies here so I'm just going to clean up his wound and stick a bandage before I take him to find his parents. I usually keep some supplies for my leg. But I think I can make it work.

"No, I like your name, it's cool" he looks at me and smiles.

"Can I ask you what you're doing here?" I asked as I took a piece of gauze and gently dab his forehead, he winces but doesn't cry or scream.

"I went looking for a bathroom, but I can't remember my way back"

Oh, the boy is lost.

"Do you… remember what the room looked like?"

"It was loud and there were a lot of people and cars"

I think his parents must have got him to the ER to get his head wound checked out. I don't think he requires a head CT because he's talking to me and he seems fine.

Another important thing when it comes to treating kids without their parents is to distract them and get them talking so that they can't focus on the pain and since he doesn't want to tell me his name, maybe I should ask him about something else.

"Umm, can you tell me how'd you get hurt?"

"I tripped while skating on my wheelie sneaks. You know the shoes with wheels on them" he replies.

This kid! He's explaining to me what wheelie sneaks are! I invented them! Well, not really, but I used to wear them all the time and skate around the hospital. If this kid didn't know better, he would never ask me if I knew what wheelie sneaks were.

"Of course, I know them! See, now you need to know how to properly use them"

"You're a doctor, how would you know?" he asks as I rip open the bandage.

"I used to skate too, I would skate all around the hospital actually"

"Oh really? Why don't you skate anymore then?"

Hmm… nope, I'm not having this conversation with him right now. Plus, he doesn't need to know about my fake leg. It's not that I'm ashamed of it. Well, I'm not ashamed of it anymore but I learned to make my peace with it. Yes, it hurts from time to time, but other than that it's become a part of my own body. Besides I have learnt it the hard way that when kids get to know about my leg, they ask the most bizarre questions ever.

"My mom is going to throw them away," the boy replied sadly.

"What? Why?"

"She gave me an ultimatinium that if I get hurt on my wheelie sneaks, she'd get rid of them"

"Do you mean 'Ultimatum'? Wow that's a big word for a tiny guy like you" It really is. If my suspicion is right and he's actually four years old, his speech is way to advance for his age.

"I'm not tiny, I'm a big boy and I have to look after my mom"

Just then the door opens and Alex enters.

"I just called time of death on Lily. Her parents are looking for you. Who's this?" Alex asks looking at the boy sitting beside me.

"I have no idea. Tell Lily's parents I'll be with them shortly" I replied as Alex closed the door.

Oh god, Lily died. I felt my tears giving out as I hunched forward and the tears started escaping my eyes.

"Do you have a spoon?" a tiny voice asked me. Oh right! I totally forgot that he was with me. I quickly tried to catch my breath.

"Umm… why do you need a spoon?" I asked, wiping my tears.

"Because you are sad and you are crying and I want to share my chocolate pudding with you"

"Oh! You don't have to"

"Yeah, but I want to" he replies as he hands me the pudding cup "Mommy always opens them for me"

I walk towards the coffee counter and grab two spoons before coming back and joining him on the couch. I take the pudding cup from his tiny little hands and rip open the top before handing him a spoon and the cup.

"Thank you, Arizona," he says and gives me a huge smile. God those bright blue eyes are so adorable.

"You're welcome. If you don't mind, after you're done with your pudding cup a nurse is going to take you back to your Mommy. Is that okay?"

"I… I guess"

"And I need you to promise me that next time you use your wheelie sneaks, you are going to be extra careful" I asked him as I stretched out my pinky finger.

"I promise," he replies as he intertwined his tiny finger with mine and shook it.

A/N: I think everything is clear, everything is understood and if it isn't stay tuned for the next chapter.