[Bella's POV]
I woke up to light coming though the window. My thoughts were foggy, and I didn't recognize the room I was in. The walls were painted navy blue, and the bed set was a deep sapphire blue. Looking around for clues all I saw was a nightstand next to the bed. The room seemed unlived in. Could this be Jasper's new room? Why was it so bare? I pushed myself up the lean against the head board. I saw my blanket wrapped up with the blanket that went with the bed, and on the pillow next to me was my brother's old stuffed bear.
I picked it up holding it close. I remembered sleeping with it while he was missing. I didn't remember putting it in my bag. I thought I left it on the rocking chair in my room.
"Hey Bella are you awake?" Em asked though the door.
"Yes Em. You can come in." The door opened and my big bear of a brother walked in.
"Jazz wants to know if your okay to talk though your feeling? He also wants you to know he won't let them overwhelm you, and that the house is a safe space." He looked like he was reading from a new script. I smiled at him.
"Sure I feel up to it. One question though, who's room is this?"
"Jasper's. He hasn't moved in fully yet. I'm not really sure why." He shrugged walking over to help me untangle my legs and get out of bed. His head tilled to the side as if he was listening to someone.
"Mom wants to know if your hungry. Jasper says that you are, but you can't feel it past his false emotions. I'm suppose to ask if you want to eat, and what you want if you do."
"I should eat even if I can't feel it. I did skip dinner last night. Do we have bagel's and strawberry cream cheese?" I followed Em out of the room Jacob's bear still in my hands.
"Carlisle say's he'll go get some. He'll be back in about thirty minutes." Emmett's eye's grew darker as he spoke that either meant he was thirsty or angry. If he was thirsty he would have hunted last night, so that left anger. But why?
He lead me to the living room where the rest of the family was waiting for us. I hesitated in the doorway. Should I sit near or away from Jasper? What would make things easier for his gift.
"You can sit next to me or in the seat across from me, Bella. I'll feel it all the same no mater where in the room you sit." He smiled at me. Blushing I rushed to the seat across from his and sat down hugging Jacobs bear close to my chest. I looked over at Alice.
"Did you put this in my bag?"
"Yes. I saw this conversation going by easier on you if you had that bear to hold." Alice watched me with her head tilted. "Why? Is it important?"
"Yeah. It was my little brother's. I keep it in my room, but I haven't slept with a stuffed animal in years. Mom said I out grew things like that." I shrugged holding the bear closer.
"That's impossible. How can you out grow something that makes you happy?" Esme sounded confused and upset.
"It's fine, Esme. Now, Jasper, how do we do this?" I focused on the silent yet steady blond. He smiled at me.
"I'm going to let you feel your emotions one at a time, and you need to work out why you feel that way. Once you do that you need to chose if you want to hold on to that emotion, and if not you need to work on letting go of it. Now I will say we are only going over the surface emotions, and not the deeper trauma. If you want we can do the deeper emotions later."
"Alright. I can do that." I took a deep breath and closed my eye's waiting for the numbness to fade.
"I'm going to go slowly, so as not overwhelm you. Let me know if its too much, Bella." I nodded as the first emotion started to drape over me. I couldn't pin the emotion at first, but soon I found myself biting my lip.
"Is this my stress?" Only it made me feel like there was someone watching me. My leg started bouncing and I lightly chewed on my lip.
"Yes, Bella, it is. Why are you so stressed?"
I thought about it. I was being hunted, and I still needed to pass my classes. I needed to talk to Charlie about Killer X coming back, but I still didn't know how to talk to him. I also need to make sure Renee didn't find out, because she would worry and make things worst than they were. And-
"Bella! Listen to me. What ever your thinking about is the problem. Your stress is growing, so what's the cause?"
"I'm being hunted, and end of year test are coming up soon. I still need to talk to Charlie about what's going on, and I need to protect Renee from the news. She'll freak out and that'll only make things worst. And-"
"Your overthinking things. Let's take this one step at a time, alright." I nodded taking a deep breath. "Good. First, yes you are being hunted. What can you do about that?"
I thought about the question. All I could do was tell me family and let them help me. I already told the pack and the Cullen's. Could I do anything else?
"I've already told the family and the pack, so all I can do now is wait."
"You can plan out what to do if he does show up here, but your right. So?"
"So, I need to let that feeling go. Right?"
"Right. Next, Charlie. I ran into him the day we found out about the break out. He asked me if anything happened and I told him about the news, so he already knows. Is the rest of the conversion you need to have easier now?" I nodded. If Charlie knew then there was no need for a conversion at all.
"Good. You already feel less stressed. Now, I thought Renee was your mother?"
"She is?"
"Then why are you looking out for her Bella? It's her job to look out for you not the other way around."
"She needs me!" The stress I was feeling shattered as I jumped up from my seat. Rage filled my veins. "She can't look after herself!"
Jasper raised an eyebrow at me the picture of calm. I glared at him. How dare he! She was just a child!
"Well we've hit trauma." He muttered as if I wouldn't hear him. "I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to say that she didn't need you. Only that right now you are what matters. I only care about helping you right now, and I need you to think about if you really need to stress over your mother." He was so calm as he spoke. It calmed me down though it did feel like it a false calm.
"I'm sorry, Jasper." I sat back down. "Wait, trauma?"
"Yes trauma," he sighed, "but we'll get to that later. Now would you like to go back to your stress, or move on?"
"We can move on. I think a lot of it is school related anyway." He nodded closing his eye's. I followed suit. I felt the next emotion settle over my shoulders. It felt heavy like oil. I was cold. Was this my fear?
"Fear, right?"
"Very good, Bella. Now you have good reasons to be scared, but you need to remember that you aren't alone. You have a family that can and will protect you. Yes you have the right to be scared but do you need it right now?" I shook me head.
"No I don't." I trying to imagine the feeling flowing away like water in a lake.
"Very good, Bella."
"Are you going to say that every time I do this right?" I opened my eye's to watch him. A beautiful smile spread over his face.
"I can feel how happy it makes you feel. Also positive reinforcement can be very helpful, so yes." He met my eye's and I felt face heat up. There was a darkness to his eye's. This was harder on him than he wanted me to think it was, but I could also see that he was happy to help.
"We only have one more big thing to feel, and I don't think you'll let it go like your fear. However you should remember you can feel things without letting it drown you, alright." I nodded waiting.
I felt the weight of the world hit my shoulders, but at he same time I felt hands touch my back and shoulders. My pain. I tried to breath though it. I never really dealt with everything that happened I just shouldered the pain and kept going.
"It's alright, Bella." When did Carlisle get home?
"Hey sis we're here." Em to my right.
"You are loved, Bella." Esme at my back.
"We have you, little sister." Alice to my left.
I sobbed falling back into Esme's arms. She pulled me fully onto her lap, and I felt my siblings and father crowd around us. I buried my face in her neck and just cried.
"Come on Jasper. You did well now lets go make the human food, alright."
"Yeah alright, Rose."
It felt like hours passed before I stopped crying. When I did Carlisle was there helping me up. He ruffled my hair lightly.
"Jasper and Rosalie just finished toasting a bagel for you. Go eat breakfast and then we can go shopping okay." I nodded going to the kitchen.
Jasper was putting cream cheese on both half's of the bagel when I walked in. Rose was pulling a Coke-a-cola out of the fridge.
"Edward hate's when she has soda, but Alice keeps buying them. Bella must like them. Here Jazz catch." She tossed it over her shoulder to her twin. Of course he caught it.
"Thank you." I spoke up from the door way. They both looked over at me. Rose smiled a little.
"Yeah sure, Bella. When are we leaving for the mall?"
"I think we're leaving as soon as I eat and get ready."
"Great! I'm going to get ready. This well be fun!" Rose rushed off to her room leaving Jasper and I alone. He smiled at me pulling the chair out for me to sit. He cracked open the coke bottle for me before sitting across from my plate. I sat in the chair and picked up the bagel. It was lightly toasted with a thick layer of cream cheese an it just the way I liked.
"Alice." Jasper said with a smirk in answer to my unasked question. I nodded eating. "I can feel you have a question for me. You can ask, Bella." I watched him think of how to best ask what I wanted to know. He had helped me so much just now, and I wanted to return the favor. Alice said he already met him true mate, but did he know that.
"Alice say's you can tell me about the conversation you two had." He was watching the doorway as he spoke more repeating what he heard then speaking himself. I nodded finishing one of my bagel half's.
"Alice told me why she broke things off with you." His eye's widened quickly meeting my own.
"She did?" He was shocked.
"She said you two weren't true mates like Rosalie and Emmett. She told me that you already met your true mate, but she wasn't sure if you knew that yet. It's why she broke things off, so that you could be with them." His eye's softened as I spoke.
"Is that so? Any clue why she didn't just tell me that herself?"
I shook my head picking up my other bagel. He rolled his eye's fondly shaking his head. He looked at me then glanced behind me.
"I was going to wait until we went on our bi-weekly hunting trip, but Bella wants to help you get stuff to impress your mate while we're at the mall." Alice spoke while moving to sit next to me. I nodded smiling when he looked at me. He raised his eyebrow at her, but she only giggled.
"Oh come on Jasper! It'll be fun!" He looked at me before saying something to fast for me to catch. I quickly finished off my bagel and down the mini bottle of soda Rose got for me.
"Okay, well while you two talk I'm going to go get ready. Alice do you still have my spare clothes in your closet?"
"Yeah. Same place as always, Bella." She waved me off with they watched each other. I raced up the stairs to get ready for the day.