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CHAPTER 10
Snape woke with a start; there was a warm, soft and very much womanly body pressed against him in his bed.
Granger.
Sure, he permitted her to sleep where she wished as long as she stayed in his quarters but he didn't really expect her to leave him nearly naked and then share his bed voluntarily, curling to him in her sleep.
What got into her so suddenly?
Not that it didn't feel rather nice, he admitted to himself, her gentle warmth and the pleasant fragrance of her hair and skin all around him. He could get used to sleeping like this.
He inhaled her scent with full lungs, closing his eyes to savour it. His cock began hardening fast at that though.
Oh damn, she was bound to not appreciate that.
Moving his hips slowly away from her so she could not feel him and get scared if she woke up, he forced himself to start thinking instead of lusting after her again.
She had said he made her feel safe - and it stroked his ego in a real nice way - but then there was nothing really dangerous in his bedroom to warrant this. He had left the chimaera in the cave as far as he remembered.
Oh, that was a bitchy little shit he wouldn't ever like to meet again.
He never particularly liked magical creatures - even before his horrible experience with Lupin, he always supposed the best place for them was in potions and had no understanding for the fascination Hagrid had for the more dangerous beasts. His recent encounter with the bloodthirsty and highly resistant monster only added to his incredulity.
That thing nearly ate his hand before he managed to stab it in the eye, the blade reaching its brain.
Damn, his hand.
He untangled it from where Granger overlied it, careful not to touch her more than necessary so he would not startle her, and checked it. It looked as good as new although he had believed it beyond saving.
His neck too felt better for some reason; the year old injury still plagued him nearly constantly, itching and burning and it was rather strange to be suddenly nearly free from it. He needed his wand to check what she had done to fix it.
He extricated himself from the luscious woman, forcing himself not to remember the way her firm butt felt against his crotch.
Oh, how he would like to-
Fuck, he couldn't think about that! She certainly wasn't there so that he could molest her. He was about to summon his wand, check himself and dress, not take another wanking filled shower while she was still in his bed.
The wand wasn't on his bedside table. He recalled he had lent it to Granger at some point yesterday.
Not knowing where she had put it, he outstretched his hand, summoning it.
He frowned in confusion. His wand had always obeyed him up till now.
Either she had destroyed it or put it somewhere where he could not reach it, somewhere unplottable.
Why the Hell would she do that? She had to know he wouldn't use it against her...
He got up quietly, looking around for a pile of magical ash or splinters but then his eyes strayed to Granger again. She was clutching his wand to herself in her sleep.
Has she broken it unintentionally?
He outstretched his hand to summon it again to no avail.
Frowning even more, he neared to her and plucked the wood carefully from her grasp. It was intact and undamaged.
What the fuck?!
He put it on the floor and Accioed it then with no trouble.
Why would the wand not obey him when it was in her hand? She had cast no wards around her.
Shit! She wouldn't, would she?!
She did a lot of odd things in her free time, experimenting with strange Muggle devices without seeming to want to disclose exactly what point it had, but he would never suppose she would play with anything like this.
The wand wouldn't obey him if she was of same blood as him, not recognizing its true master then. He was certain he had no living blood relative though - and even if he had, it would surely not be Granger who was Muggleborn. He knew his pedigree - even from his father's side - well enough. The only other option was that she had done some blood magic ritual, mixing their blood in the process.
Furious, he began casting series of dark magic diagnostics on both of them. They came out blank, however. He was the same as two days prior when he had checked last and she had only one residual and old injury on her chest that he had known about. Whatever it was that she had done, it was not dark at least.
Maybe she tried too hard to save him, sacrificing something of hers to patch a wound that shouldn't be possible to. His hand, most likely.
Another diagnostic showed she was pure though, her magical signature clean. It was him who was tainted with her blood and magic.
He could hold it in no longer, the anger bursting out in an angry yell before he realized he was still only in his underwear.
"For Merlin's sake, Granger! What have you done?!"
She startled, eyeing him owlishly as she hastily stood up from his bed, her white dress all creased. He didn't pity her in the least.
"What have you done?" He repeated once more when her face projected only confusion.
"I just healed you - I can give you full account of all spells and potions I used - and then fell asleep on your bed. I am sorry. I was just tired. It won't happen again," she explained nervously, eyeing his wand and instantly looking away from his body when she discovered he was still nearly naked, blushing.
"Oh, and I undressed you. It was necessary so I could fix the injuries and then I needed to monitor the wounds so they would not-"
"I am not angry about that. Name the spells and potions, all of them," he interrupted her impatiently.
She did and it was rather a long list and he didn't know two of the spells. She explained she had used it on his neck and they were for cursed scars, had even tested them on herself already. There was nothing that would cause the divergence he had detected.
"Is that all? Are you sure?"
"Yes," she said after a while, frowning.
"Have you mixed your blood with mine in any way?"
"No. No, I checked myself even for small scratches," she said hastily, checking her hands once more while she was speaking.
"So how came I found your blood and magic in my own?" he asked her pointedly, his tone icy, and watched as she froze. He could see the wheels in her head turning and knew he would have to wait for a while to let her process this new piece of information properly.
Finally, she spoke. Opposite to his expectation, it was a question.
"Was the knife I stabbed you with magical?" she asked, nervous and worried.
Oh, shit!
"Had your blood gotten on it?" he asked in return, immediately following her line of thoughts.
"Likely. I scratched myself while trying to hide it before I attacked you. But still, it would need to be magical and I haven't been-"
Fuck!
The knife was magical - ceremonial, made of pure silver and engraved with runes - but the magic in it was only encouraging healing and restoration so he hadn't thought much about it. He had been using it to brew the antiseptic potion for Granger so it would be more potent and left it then on the counter. Damn, he was even grateful she had attacked him with that particular weapon as it was rather easy to seal the wound.
He was such an idiot!
"Damn, Granger! Why haven't you told me before?! Now the course is settled and it would be near impossible to reverse it! What did you wish for while you were doing it?!" he asked, not sure he wanted to hear the answer.
Granger's face contorted in concentration as she tried to remember. Now he was really counting on her flawless memory.
"I wanted to make you suffer for what I thought you did to me. For using me sexually. I felt lonely and deprived. I hoped you would kill me if I didn't manage to kill you," she admitted, still not looking at him.
Shit, to try to dispel something like this would be harder than finding the fucking Chamber of Secrets - an unintentional wish based blood magic done by a temporarily nonmagical person with a runic knife for healing. He was rather sure no case like this had been recorded before so it would be nearly impossible to research.
There were just too many aspects to it - punishment, loneliness, sexual background, intention to sacrifice herself for the cause and the healing aspects of the knife...
Oh fuck him backwards...
It was after the incident that he had found himself being attracted to her physically.
It was possibly what had healed his libido which had stayed dormant for decades and a punishment too - he would never do anything she did not wish him to, leading to unending frustration on his part. Maybe she marked herself as the cure for his loneliness...
Or he was simply a perverted sex-starved and horny sod who was looking for an excuse.
He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, exhaling.
When he looked up he found her still eyeing him in worry.
"I will research it. There must be a way to-" she offered but he didn't let her finish. He didn't want her to poke into it, discovering what he had just realized - if she knew he was lusting after her for months now, she would run screaming, never to speak to him again. She didn't want him and was very sensitive to this. It would destroy their relationship, the easy companionship, everything they had managed to built and that had made his life bearable in the last months.
He would rather suffer frustration and compulsions for the rest of his life than lose the one person he felt close to, trusted and even considered his friend when he was in an overly optimistic mood. The tiles in his bathroom would probably pay the price a few more times yet but he certainly could live with that.
She was all that was left to him. He couldn't do anything to ever endanger that.
He waved his hand dismissively then, indicating he was about to drop the subject.
"It hadn't done anything bad to me yet. It couldn't be that strong; I just got startled when I discovered it while I diagnosed myself. There is no need to address it any further. I apologize for overreacting and worrying you, I should have thanked you for healing me instead. The work you did on my hand and neck is really amazing," he said both because it was true and to divert her attention. She got shy whenever he complimented her about anything so perhaps it would be enough.
True enough, she smiled and blushed again, murmuring something in reply. She was still unbelievably sexy.
Damn, he should better hurry to get dressed, preferably in his extra stiff trousers. She really didn't need to see how much he liked her.
Properly showered, dressed and with breakfast for Granger prepared, he readied himself back to the cave. He just couldn't leave perfectly fresh chimaera body parts to go to waste.
Sure, he warded it and charmed it so it would keep fresh but the magical properties were not fully contained. The time was of essence if he wanted his ingredients in top condition.
Taking his travel cloak, he caught Granger watching him with concern again. He could read her well enough to know she wanted to ask where he was going - it was Saturday which they usually spent together - but kept silent because she didn't want to intrude if he didn't want to share that particular piece of information with her.
He decided to tell her. She deserved to know what he was doing if she wanted to.
"I am going to collect the useful parts of the chimaera. They are rare and it would be shame to leave them there to rot," he explained. Her eyes widened in shock.
"Are you saying you actually managed to kill it?" she asked, incredulous. He felt his chest swell in pride of her recognition.
Oh, how pathetic he was, longing for her approval and admiration. And he had once fancied himself independent and self-reliant.
He nodded, trying not to look smug. Her mouth hung open slightly.
"That's... wow! I have never even seen it..." she commented, a dreamy look on her face.
He considered it briefly.
"You might see it if you want. You may go with me," he offered and watched her mouth fall open properly this time, her eyes wide.
He had warded the area in the same way he had with his quarters. She would be maybe even safer there with him than here without him to protect her from a possible intruder. If she even wanted to tag along, of course.
"Are you saying I could go outside? With you?" she breathed in wonder.
"Why not? I would disillusion you for your safety but there is nothing dangerous there any longer. I can Apparate you directly from the gates to the cave. Furthermore, a skilled assistant is always handy," he clarified in an offhand manner.
"I would love to go and see it," she said, hope mixing with excitement in her voice. He nearly smiled at that.
"The matter is decided then," he concluded and conjured a warmer set of clothing along with a travel cloak for her too, letting her dress while he fetched a bag they would store the ingredients in.
He would never forget the look of wonder on her face when he had cancelled the spell on her and saw the way she was staring at the open sky above her, breathing in the fresh and cold air hungrily.
She hadn't seen it for over a year, he shouldn't be that surprised really. She loved freedom probably more than most- wasn't used to darkness and closedness of the dungeons the way he was - and was denied it for too long.
He felt sorry for her to have to drag her to a cave of all places but they had a mission ahead of them.
Giving her a few more minutes before he cleared his throat, he gestured towards the cave, indicating they should proceed there. She obeyed immediately, still looking excited.
Maybe she really wanted to see the beast and it wasn't only an excuse so he would take her outside.
She stared at it for long minutes while he prepared the knives and bottles.
"It's huge," she commented finally. An undeniable truth for sure. He just nodded and handed her a knife.
"Use no magic, it won't work," he reminded her offhandedly and got to work, selecting the more disgusting and strength demanding parts so that Granger didn't have to do that.
They worked mostly in silence and he could tell she was as tired as he when the carcass was finally left deprived of everything that could be productively used. Then he got to harvest the Dittany that he had come here originally for, the cave being his usual and favorite place to find it.
He packed everything and swung the bag over his shoulder.
It was time to go.
She followed him out in silence, not needing words to understand him as usual. She paused outside the cave though, the dreamy look on her face again as she exposed it to the sun.
Damn, he fancied himself to be taking care of her whilst keeping her caged like a common animal.
No matter how carefully he reasoned it to himself in his mind, he was just using her; using her to keep him company, to help him brewing, to heal him when he needed it, to keep him sane and having fantasies about her at night. He gave nothing in return and he didn't even stop to think about it until now. He was exploiting her the way he himself had been exploited his whole life - without thanks in return, being taken for granted. He knew only too well what kind of hatred that yielded.
It had to stop or she would end up the way he was - bitter, angry and hateful. He didn't ever want to live long enough to see that happen.
He was a true bastard to her and it took him over three months to realize that. He wouldn't give it a day more. So he turned to her, addressing her for the first time in hours.
"You can go. I won't stop you," he told her and met her eyes in full so she would know he was serious about this when she just stared at him in shock.
He outstretched his wand to her, handle first. He would miss it but then she would need it more than him and he could purchase another.
Oh, what was he fooling himself with, he would miss Granger much more than his wand.
"I will make sure there will be no one looking for you. Take the chimaera, if you sell it for ingredients on black market, you will get more money than you will need in ten years. Send a Patronus if you have an emergency or need something, I will try my best to come," he summed it up, handling her the bag with what they had harvested alongside the wand.
His chest hurt and he didn't want to let her go although it was the right thing to do.
He was a fucking selfish arse.
She just stared at him, frozen and not reaching to take anything although he could see clearly she wanted to go, to be free again.
"What are you waiting for? It's not a trap," he assured her impatiently, not wanting to prolong this.
"There is no one there waiting for me. There is no one left and I have nowhere to go," she whispered tearily, watching the horizon.
"Longbottom is there, Macmillan too. Look for them in London, they go under covernames Dvorak and Miller and rented themselves a flat in Brixton," he informed her briefly. She was always friends with Longbottom and he hoped the young man would take care of her at least as good as she had taken care of him in his classes.
He would sabotage the trace in the Guard room and then claim to have killed her accidentally by a potion. No one would look too hard. She could start a new life, a happier one.
She gave him a long, searching look.
"What side are you really on?" she asked then and he knew it was only a formality. She was clever enough to discover it by herself.
"There are no sides any more, Granger. I am on my own."
"Then I am with you too," she told him then and now it was him who gave her a surprised stare.
Was she really saying...?
She elaborated after a while, the wind blowing lightly into her curly hair.
"I don't want to be a fugitive, just hiding and fearing everything and everyone. I had had enough of that before I was imprisoned. I would rather stay with you and help. I know you are trying to fell him," she said, searching his face for confirmation.
Brave witty witch.
"These things should be not offered lightly - it won't be easy and you will never be free if you stay. You should take your time and think this through properly," he warned her even as he secretly hoped she wouldn't change her mind.
It would be so much better to have her cooperate with him without having to keep information from her. It would be so much better if she stayed because she had decided to and not because he had forced her...
"He took everything from me and I want to try to bring him down even if it is the last thing I do. I won't change my mind about this. I want to stay with you," she declared, her expression that of stubborn determination.
Something in his heart melted at seeing it. He wasn't sure what it was and why his eyes began stinging but he still couldn't get rid of the presentiment that this was one of the best moments in his life.
No cliffhanger this time (see, SweetDarkAnglez?!), hope you liked it anyway.
Can't wait to hear from you!
Lots of love to you all :-*
