Fear of Scary Things and Broken Relationships

Chapter 10.

"Long day huh?" Robin asked.

"You can say that," Raven replied.

Robin and Raven were the only two left in the main room of the Tower, the other Titans had already retreated to their rooms. Raven expected that Robin wants to talk to her without the presence of the others and started working on her tea. It didn't took long when he joined her in the kitchen. "Care if I join you?"

"Be my guest," Raven said without thinking. It was when Robin took a mug and one of her teabags that she realized her mistake. "Uh, Robin, since when do you drink tea?"

"Since my time with him."

The water started to boil and Raven poured water in his mug. "I wonder if you can tolerate herbal tea." She then poured water in her own one.

"One way to find out."

Both of them finished their tea, went to the long table and took their seats. Robin took a first sip and was surprised by its flavor. He made a face. "Different than Earl Grey, that's for sure."

"It's an acquired favor," she grinned.

"Nothing wrong with that." Robin took another sip. "It's getting better when you go along." There was a silent moment until he spoke up. "We have a friend who take care of us. He make us tea after a night like this and we would talk about how everything went."

"This is now a post mission tea session. How instructional."

Robin smiled. "You can say that." The two of sat for a while, enjoying their tea and the silence. He then placed his mug on the table and looked up to at her. "Uhm, Raven, there's something I want to talk to you, it's about the last two weeks."

She took a sip of her tea. "I'm listening."

"It's the hallucination incident, and what happened after it. I know you guys tried to help me out of it, but I just blow it away. I thought that I could handle it by myself. I was wrong. I should have listening to you guys, especially you Raven, but I didn't, and I'm sorry for that."

Raven placed her mug on the table and looked him in the eyes, or rather the mask. "I know that you want to handle things by yourself, but sometimes, you can't. You had told me a once or twice to open up a bit, and after such an ordeal, you might follow your own advice."

Robin runs a hand though his hair as he smiled sheepish. "Yeah, looks like we're both stubborn huh? But I'll keep that in mind."

"You better do that. I hate to see you losing it."

Robin let out a defeated sigh. "Yeah, about that... Raven, you still owe me an apology. It must have been hard for you the past weeks, having to feel my emotions all the time. It wasn't fair that I let out my anger and rage while you have to do everything to keep it in check. And then the nightmares I had, and still have sometimes. You tried to talk to me, I should have listen but I just slapped it away. I'm really sorry for that."

Raven stared at her mug. "It wasn't easy the first few days, I had to meditate more than often to keep Rage in check, and Timid during the sleepless nights. Later, I become more at ease when I got used to it and your nightmares begin to cease, but I still had to be more careful than usual." She looked up, facing him. "But I understand, and I accept your apologies."

Robin placed his hand on top of her. "Thank you Raven, it means a lot." They both smiled for a moment as Raven accepted his hand on top of hers.

She then raised an eyebrow and looked suspicious at him. "Now, what do you know about my emotions?"

Robin retreated his hand as he simply shrugged. "Everyone have it. Anger, fear, happy, you name it. Most people just act on them, but I think that everyone have to be careful and think twice before they act. You are unique. Your powers are based on your emotions, if you lose it then crazy things can happen, we know that and have except it. But the amazing thing is that you have a mirror to enter your mind, so you can have a decent conversation with your own emotions while all the others have to figure things out by their own."

Raven sat there speechless. Yes, she need to keep her emotions under control but that was not the shocking part. Robin knew about the mirror. And the real shocking part was that he admire her ability to go to Nevermore. It took a while when she glared at him. "Beast Boy told you that?"

"Not really, I overhear his conversation with Cyborg not long after they left your room that day. It was strange at first, but then I understand your emotions. Especially during the haunted night."

"Sounds like it was the last time that I let anyone leave my room in one piece."

Robin smiled at that before talking a sip from is tea. He then turned back to her. "Raven, I don't want to offend you or to make you upset or uncomfortable, and I really appreciate your effort to open my mind back then, but when you entered my mind, what did you see?"

Raven was silent for a moment as she stared at her mug. She then looked up at him who waited patiently at her answer. "Honestly, not very much, but more than enough to know you, to understand you and your background." She let out a sigh. "What I saw was you and Batman in the cave, you making an oath to him, the house, no... manor upstairs, who the both of you really are and then, I saw... what happened in the circus..." She closed her eyes. "I'm sorry Richard."

Robin was speechless. He had suspected that Raven saw his past or his secret identity or both, but it still hit him like a lightning bolt. It took a few moments when he overcome his shock. He shook his head before placing it in his hands as he let out a sigh. "So much for secret identity."

"Don't worry, I won't tell. Besides, you still have your mysteries."

Robin looked up, seeing the slightest form of a grin on her face. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

"The boy behind the mask." She turned a bit in an attempt to hide a blush, in which she failed.

Now it was his turn to grin. "Nice to know. I think I might keep it."

"You might, that sounds reassuring."

Robin laughed a bit. It felt nice to have a talk with Raven and he realized now how much he missed it.

"You know, I was amazed that a circus boy hate clowns, but your explanation however makes sense. If the Joker is really that bad."

His smile dropped and he let out a sigh. "Joker is a psychopath. In some cases, he can be even worse than Slade."

"That explains."

He turned back to Raven who took another sip of her tea. He then was getting nervous again as he placed his cup back on the table. "So," Robin hesitated, looking for the right words. "The bond we're sharing, do you... regret it?"

"I did in the beginning while keeping my emotions under control and the long nights you brought me. Now, no, not anymore."

"Me neither," he smiled. He then slightly turned his gaze away for a brief moment when a flash of memory went through his mind. "Since that I'm still here and alive, I guess that the rides with the Batmobile and the Batcycle were not only awkward, but also quite... interesting, don't you think?"

Raven slightly turned her gaze from him in another failed attempt to hide her blush. "Don't tempt me."

"I wouldn't dare."

"Sure you won't. Just keep in mind that I hate to sent you to another dimension, we still need a leader."

"True."

Raven smiled for a moment and took another sip of her tea. When she placed her cup back on table as her face went serious. "Now, you have to talk with Starfire. She is quite upset that you ignored her last week and I think you have to make it right to her."

Robin raised an eyebrow underneath his mask. "Starfire? What do you mean?"

"Your relationship with her."

Robin let out a sigh. "Seriously, you really think that I like her like she like me?" Raven's look told him to explain. "Look, we all know that she is great, lovely and full of life, but too many things happened in my life already and I can't have someone who's clueless with the darker regions of myself. No offence, but I think she's too bright, innocent and naïve to really understand me." He let out another sigh. "She isn't the one I want to spent for the rest of my life. Not to mention of having children, if that's even possible."

"Unlikely. Genetically and biologically, there are too many differences between humans and Tamaraneans. Both species have evolved in separate planetary systems and have never encounter with each other." she sharpened her gaze. "But it doesn't look like while we were on Tamaran. You acted like an idiot, and that wasn't all too long ago."

"I know, but it was also in a strong sense of injustice. Look, after Slade's last trick and the following days, she didn't give me any rest and space and started to annoy me on a level I hadn't experienced before. It frustrated me even more and drive me to madness. I had totally no desire to go out with her and she keep pushing me."

Raven give him a stern look. "Maybe, but you hurt her feelings. I suggest you talk to her and tell her what you want. And I mean your true feelings towards her. And you might talk to Cyborg as well, you know how a big brother can be when something happened to his little sister."

Robin let out a sigh. "I know, and I will. I just hope that we can be just friends."

"Just friends?"

"Yes, nothing more. Raven, I really don't want to hurt her, but I can't fool myself either. I need to break away from her, no matter how much I hate it by hurting her."

"Sounds like you found someone else."

That statement took him by surprise. "I..." He let out a sigh as he stared back to his mug. "I don't know. I really don't know. I just need some time to think about it."

"Really, is it Batgirl?"

"That's history," he mumbled without thinking.

Raven sensed his honestly. "So, you really have no idea..." she muttered before starting to have suspicions of who the one might be, but was too afraid to ask.

"No. Nevertheless, I'll talk to Star in the morning. But first I'll go to Cy and Beast Boy, I can't have a fight right now and they'll be prepare for a weeping Starfire, in which I hope it won't happen. Hopefully they will understand."

"I think they will. But in case you need help, just let me know."

A smile appeared on his face. "Thanks Raven, I appreciate that."

Robin took the last bit of tea. He was about to say something but saw her troubled face. "Something else on your mind?"

"I don't know."

For some reasons, the one moment in Raven's room with Batman flashed through his mind. "Is it about you? What Batman told you?" When Raven looked away he placed a hand on top of hers for comfort. "Raven, I know what you are, but I don't care. Beast Boy is green, Cyborg is half machine, and Starfire is an alien. It wasn't your choice of what you are, what your descents are. Always remember that we like you as you are. Nothing will ever change that."

A light bulb popped above them and Raven looked up while Robin didn't pay attention at it as he took her hand in two of his own. "Raven, I mean it."

Raven gazed back at him, eyes filled with hope. "What...? Do you... really mean it?"

Robin smiled at her timidly as he lightly squeezed in her hand. "Every word," he softly said.

A huge weight dropped off her shoulder as few another objects exploded in the kitchen. she ignored it this time as a smile returned on her face as she embraced his hands with her own. "Robin, you have no idea what it means to me. Thank you."

They sat there for minutes, enjoying the quietude and the comfort.

Robin let go of her hands as he glanced at his empty mug before glancing back at her. "Like another one?"

"No. It has been a long day. I need to meditate, then I'll go to sleep." She got on her feet as she took her mug.

Robin nodded. "Alright, good night."

"I'll see you tomorrow." Raven went to the messy kitchen and placed her mug in the sink. She went to the door but stopped in front of it and turned around. "You should go too. It's been a long day, for all of us."

"I will. Good night Raven," he smiled.

Raven returned the smile. "Good night." She left the room.

Robin stared at the empty mug in his hands, thinking about several things and recalling the events of the day. At first he missed the hunt in Gotham with Batman. He didn't admit it at first, but he really missed it. It was nice to do it once again after a very long time and he was glad that he got the opportunity, even when he hated it at first. He had expected that Batman hadn't change, but he also realized that Batman won't be Batman if he changed his tactics even a slightest bit.

Thankfully Bruce didn't changed either. Dick was able to have a nice talk with Bruce like he had so many time in the past, not like mentor and protégé, but more like father and son. Besides, Bruce won't be Bruce if he didn't talk about girls, and in that case the girls in Dick's life.

The first one was Barbara Gordon, the commissioner's daughter. They had a great time and they had grown into each other. He loved her and she loved him. It was on that one night that he found out that Barbara was Batgirl all along. He felt betrayed, especially since Batman already knew. There was no doubt that he had somehow figured it out, but it still hurt. Thinking back, he wasn't all too proud of his actions. Leaving Babs like that, she wouldn't forget anytime soon, if not forever. Nevertheless, Barbara wouldn't understand his actions and she wasn't that perfect for him.

Now Robin was very close with Starfire. Star was a great girl. Beautiful, lovely, strong, powerful and full of life. They often said opposites attract and she was everything he was not. She was bright, joyful, innocent but also a bit naïve but that is because of her roots and her lack of human knowledge. It wasn't her fault, she's a Tamaranean princes after all and didn't really took part of a normal society back there.

Robin and Starfire had never admitted their love interest but he was pretty sure that they're becoming close to that, until the hallucination incident. Star tried to talk to him, but the moments that she ask him out to go to the "mall of shopping", the "house of moving pictures", the "park of amusement", or the circus he was getting annoyed and let her know that he had absolutely no interest is such things. Not while he was recovering, or training and definitely not with the nightmares all the time. He tried to explain it to her but the innocent naïve girl didn't seem to understand him which frustrated him even more. Perhaps opposites do not always attract.

Then there was Raven. She was much more like him in more ways than he previously thought. She was a dark one but she had a strong personality. She was smart, powerful and mature. He always liked her sarcasm and wicket sense of humor and the conversation they had and he see her as a very close friend. Bruce's suggestion to give her a shot never crossed his mind, he was with Starfire after all, but his relationship with Star had already showed some cracks, especially the last few weeks.

A girl with mysteries did sounds interesting, especially for him who liked to unsolved it. Batman compared Raven with some demon he knew, although Robin had figured it out himself. He had strong suspicions when he overheard Cyborg and Beast Boy about Raven's emotions and a giant red demon who represented her father. His suspicions was getting stronger when Starfire told some critical parts of Raven origins after the girls switched their bodies caused by the Puppet King. He didn't really care if Raven was a demon. In fact, he thought it was pretty interesting. Certainly more interesting than a bright alien princess living in a pink fortress that was her room.

Robin knew that Raven's emotions were very fragile. If she lost it, who knows what would happened. Raven explained it to her friends, but very little to Robin. Nevertheless, he knew, had figured it out as well. Not only from Cyborg and Beast Boy or what Starfire told him but also when Raven lost her powers and unintentionally haunted the tower when she didn't admitted her own fear. It was the main reason why he left her in her room to meditate. She also knew the darkness of life on all levels and he was glad that he had Raven to talk about it. They understand each other, never questioned each other and appreciate the honestly towards one other.

After Raven made a bond, he was more at peace when she was nearby and started to have feelings towards her that became stronger during the rides in the Batmobile, but he didn't knew what it really means. After Bruce's suggestion and their return from Gotham, Robin saw her at another way and find out that she did looks very attractive under her cloak, on a mysterious way that is, and that was exactly what he liked. He really enjoyed the "post mission tea session" as she called it. He knew that she enjoyed it too so he planned to do it more often. His relationship with Starfire didn't seems work and he wondered if Raven could allow herself and her emotions to open up for such relationship. He was willing to give it a try. They said opposites attract but they also said similarities last. Perhaps in this case the latter can be true and birds of a feather do flocks together.

Funny thing was that the both of them were called after birds, talking about irony. Robin smiled with that in mind and got on his feet, placed the mug next to Raven's in the sink of the kitchen and went to his room.

Raven was meditating in her room, floating in lotus position. The events in Gotham City and the resent talk with Robin kept through her mind.

At first was Robin's relationship with Starfire. She always thought that the two of them seems to fill their gaps which was needed to have a strong relationship. Unfortunately Starfire couldn't. She thought that Starfire would brought the light and the innocence in the darkness that Robin needed, turned out that Starfire was too much of that. He had places in his mind, dark places, the Tamaranean princess had yet to uncover. It would kill him to hurt the girl in any way who loved him so innocently.

Eventually, something inevitable had to happen. A gentle personality like Starfire couldn't be strong enough to hold on against the darkness that plagued Robin's mind and he was apparently not strong enough to battle his inner demons with the bright, innocence and naïve Princess who saw him as Prince Charming on his noble steed to marry with and live a happy ever after life like in many fairy tales on Earth. He needed someone to be comfortable and at peace with, someone to talk to and who would listen to him, someone who won't judge him and understand the darkness that was part of him.

Raven did felt sorry for Starfire, she had no idea how the Tamaranean Princess would handle it, but she could end up with a broken heart. A good thing that Robin was going to inform the boys firs, a fight with them was the least he could have.

Then it was Batman. She had heard things of him as a crazy crime fighter who didn't knew fear and liked to move into the darkness to beat the criminals. Robin didn't mentioned much of his mentor but the way he lead the team into action revealed that the Dark Knight was a master in martial art, a detective and having a great mind by creating weapons and other gadgets. The creation of Red X was a proof of it.

It was in Gotham City when Raven saw the true Batman. His way of infiltrating a building, creating lots of chaos by having the element of surprise, fighting, interrogation, the way he look with his soul piercing glare, how he talked, even the way he moved. She had to admit that it was quite intimidated, and she was a bit impressed to see the skills and the ability of the Dark Knight. And all of that as a normal human being, without any special power. It was no wonder that the criminals shivered by hearing his name.

Raven was somewhat relieved that Both Starfire and Beast Boy didn't had the opportunity to meet Batman, who knows how they would react when they saw the Dark Knight in person, let alone when he start to talk to them with his dark gravel monotone voice who was straight to the point. She bet that Cyborg would have days to fully recover from his encounter with the Dark Knight, so the other two would need weeks if not months to be back to normal.

What intrigued her the most was the knowledge and mental abilities Batman possessed. Sure, he was known as world greatest detective but letting a criminal owning a nightclub to gain information was something that never crossed her or Robin's minds.

But what Raven bothered the most was that Batman compared her with a demon he knew. It left her with many questions. Why would Batman compared her with an ancient demon? Or his human host? What was his theory behind it? Even if he knew, then how would Batman know that she was a half demon. She told Starfire only once some small parts of her heritage. Did Batman somehow checked her background of all of the Titans like Robin said? Just like he did to Superman? If he did, then how and why?

Then she was getting anxious. What would Robin think about her if he finds out, her being a half demon and the prophecy, would he reject her? Abandon her and making her leave the Titans? Her only friends and the Titans Tower she called home? What would the rest of the team do, turning her back to her? She was struggling with that thought from the day the Titans met each other.

Raven shook her head. They never mentioned the word demon, but she knew that Robin already accepted her as she was. She could feel it through their bond when Robin hold her hand that he already knew. She had no idea how he figured that out, but he knew that she was a demon. It was a huge relieve that Robin told her that he didn't care of what she was. That he and the rest of the team liked her as she was. She didn't, couldn't and wouldn't mention a single word about the prophecy but she felt a lot more comfortable knowing that Robin would not abandon her.

If only her emotions wouldn't bounce around in her mind every time that the thoughts of Robin passed by, Bravery, Happy and Lust specifically. Especially when Robin holds her hands, Raven wishes that he didn't do that, It was already hard enough to control her emotions. It was not just holding hands and the way he seems to look at her, but also the awkward rides in Gotham City where they were forced to share one seat, both in the Batmobile and on the Batcycle.

Thinking of it, the rides with the Batmobile were very uncomfortable. Not only for herself, but also for Robin. She knew that. The thought that she would kill him and sent his body to another dimension didn't crossed her mind but it was a nice thing to know that Robin mentioned it after the little party, which means he knew that she didn't like it, which was a reassuring thought. On the other hand, she somehow did enjoyed the warm contact she made with the Boy Wonder and Raven had sensed that he somehow returned the feelings.

Raven started to realize that she became found of him on a level she thought it wasn't possible. She had no idea how to deal with it. She could ignore her feelings, but the lessons she had when refusing her fear showed her and the others that it was a bad idea with the infamous haunted night as a result. That meant that she had no other choice than to admit her feelings. 'How enchanting.' A visit to Nevermore could give her the answers she needs, but she was too anxious to figured it out that soon. But whatever these emotions were, it felt like betraying Starfire who was about to get her heart broken by Robin himself. She had to hide her feelings from her friends for at least a while, no matter how hard it's going to be.

Avoiding Robin could be an option but that would only make it worse when he start to notice it. He isn't stupid and would likely confront her after a while, making her talk. That leave her no other options than to go along with it, do her own thing like she always did and if it was possible keep a little more distance than usually without being too obvious and hoping that the others would continue their usual pointless activities to keep her thoughts away from Robin. With that in mind she accepted that only logical option and prepared herself for the night. It was a long day, she was tired and could need some decent rest.