Ties That Bind 1.5 The Knot
Chapter 9
True Intentions
Author's Note: Hi everyone sorry about the late update again this week just been kind of over loaded with the holidays and trying to get everything completed. I do appreciate all of my readers who come back each week for the newest installment so I will do my best to get each chapter out on time or as close to it as possible. Thanks once more for all of your support and please leave your thoughts or feedback in a review. Also, I just wanted it to be clarified that the beginning of this chapter will be in Serena's POV and will back track a lit bit to Serena sitting in her room while Darien is currently down below arguing with her grandfather and Awson. Thanks for reading and following along with my stories and I hope you continue to enjoy and for anyone who celebrates Happy Hanukah! Thanks Mars Light
Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon never did, never will thank you!
Serena lied back on her bed with a pillow covering her eyes while she tried to make sense of how everything became so completely twisted out of control this evening. She lifted the pillow from her face and placed it down beside her with a long sigh as she looked down at the bracelet she wore around her wrist, thinking at one time she was about to get everything she ever wanted, but now it was all unraveling to pieces as she held onto the delicate bracelet between her two fingers and then slowly began to remove it from her wrist, when she heard a loud knock come at her door.
She shook her head and placed the pillow back over her head not ready to deal with anyone right now as called out with a loud groan hoping whoever it was would take the hint and leave her be stating back "I have a headache please whatever it is come back later" but even with her request she soon realized she would not find any privacy as she heard the door opened slowly.
She pulled the pillow back down and looked to the door to see her maid Emily a young timid girl who spoke with a quiet voice and in many ways reminded her of her good friend Ami back at Castle Hill, come walking into her room with a small curtsey telling her in a soft voice "I beg your pardon miss, but your grandfather has requested your presence downstairs, he was rather insistent upon it"
Serena shook her head seeing how even with a change of title, it made no difference and she still had no freedom to do as she chose to do as she stood up from the bed and walked over to look out the window and up to the full moon that was out shining tonight.
She let out a long sigh having no intentions of going back down there and parading herself around and for what, when the only man she actually wanted to be with, did not return the same feelings she had for him as she shook her head replying back "suddenly I am not feeling well and I would prefer to stay up here to rest for the remainder of the evening, please give my grandfather my apologies"
Emily looked to her seeing besides her messed up coiffure and the wrinkles in her ballgown she did not seem ill and with a shake of her head she replied telling her "I would miss, but he was rather insistent with his request that you come downstairs right away, he says that it is not proper for you to be hiding away up here when your guests are waiting down below for you"
Serena let out a low moan hearing her speak of her guests as they were called, while knowing they probably had not even noticed her absence with all of them being strangers to her in this new world that she was thrown into, that she felt like a complete outsider hidden within, wearing a fancy costume, while pretending to be something she is not as she looked at her own reflection in the window and saw the traces of the duchess that her grandfather expected her to be, with a bit of herself trying to break free of the tight binds of ribbons and lace she was being held in as a small grin crossed her face knowing what must be done if she was to enter back into that ballroom tonight and turned back to Emily with a nod of her head replying "very well, tell him I will be down shortly"
Emily nodded her head not expecting why Serena would chose to stay up here all alone by herself when there was an elegant ball going down below in her honor with handsome men waiting for there chance to dance the night away with her as she smiled telling her back "alright just be sure you do, I heard there is a handsome gentleman, a viscount I believe who is waiting on his turn to dance with you"
Serena looked to her surprised to hear now there was a sudden interest in her when earlier no one seemed to want anything to do with her and she was puzzled towards the sudden change in their perspective as she walked over towards the full length mirror with a small smile, knowing if she must go back to that fancy ball again this time she would go as herself and no longer pretend to be something she is not as she looked to Emily replying back with little interest "very well if I must make an appearance I will do so, you may tell my grandfather that I will be down shortly"
Emily stood in the doorway as she looked over her appearance once more seeing her hair was undone and her dress had bits of dirt stains on it and her shoes seemed to be missing all together as she smiled back telling her innocently "perhaps it would be best if I stayed here for a bit longer to assist you with your hair and help find a proper gown for you to change into and it seems you have mis-located your shoes"
Serena let out a small chuckle to the maids obvious disapproval to her current dressing habit as she lifted her head up high replying back "I have misplaced nothing, I know exactly where my shoes are and where they will stay, if my grandfather insists that I go back to this ball, then I am tired of pretending and being something I am not. I will go back to this ball if I have to, but only as myself and nothing less"
Emily looked to her shocked by her forward refusal to the duke's orders knowing he would not approve of her personal expectation as she shook her head stating back nervously "miss I do not believe that is what your grandfather would" Serena cut her off quickly before letting her finish stating back "I am well aware of what my grandfather wants, but if these people are truly here to see and meet me, then don't you believe they should be given the chance to know the real me"
Emily looked to her and was about to respond back in the studious well-mannered way as was expected of someone in her class, but then closed her mouth seeing Serena a girl who came from nothing, much like herself, standing up tall about to enter a world that she could only be a part of watching from a distance as she nodded her head with a slight grin telling her "I will let your grandfather know you will be down shortly"
Serena nodded her head as she watched the young maid turn to leave her room closing the door behind her and then turned back to face herself in the mirror again, seeing a woman starring back at her that she was unfamiliar with as she smiled at herself stating "there is much work to be done here" and then grabbed a rag from the wash basin nearby and began to wash off the heavy made-up powder that was covering her face
She lowered the rag down and saw what was lying underneath all of the heavy powders that of a simple village girl wearing the leftover rags of a duchess as she shook her head knowing this would not do either and she could not walk down there looking like this, that she had to find a medium that she felt comfortable with as she carefully picked up the powder brush and gave her cheeks a subtle rosy glow and then followed suit with her eyes as she looked back at herself in the mirror with a warm smile seeing a smooth natural look instead of the forced look that was not her own and stated pleased "there you are"
She looked down to the gown that she wore that was a pale shade of pink and covered with all lace and ribbons and did not feel comfortable wearing it one bit as she walked over to the large armoire across the room that was filled with several dresses for every occasion with large frills and tight corsets and were not her chosen style at all.
She quickly moved dress after dress aside until she found what she was looking for a simple lavender gown with a high scoop cut neck line and long flowy sleeves, it was pretty, and a bit scandalous for this crowd, but it would do and she felt more like herself and less like the duchess wearing it as she quickly changed into the gown and found a simple pair of flats to accompany it as her feet cried out thank you when sliding them on.
She walked back over to the mirror once more and took a final look at herself before returning back to the ball, she certainly did not look like the duchess of Pennsworth any longer, but she did feel like Serena. She smiled a genuine smile feeling pleased with the overall transformation that she had quickly made and gave her hair a quick toss over her shoulder as she walked over to the window and blew out the candle then headed downstairs to whatever or whomever awaited her arrival.
She slowly descended down the steps taking one at a time with a plastered on demure smile, feeling a slight jitter in her stomach of how the people in that room would except her, the real her as she is, while knowing whether they did accept her or not. She would not be wasting any of her thoughts of how they judged her, but only on how she perceived herself and she would play nice and be charming for however much longer she had to be here.
She stood in the doorway to the ballroom and as she had expected most of her so called guests had not even realized she had left at all as she began to turn to get some needed air when she noticed a gentleman come walking towards her, the same man that had entered her grandfather's study earlier with an obvious look of surprise on his face towards her change in clothing choice, but to his credit he kept a polite way about him as he nodded his head and commented formally "duchess you are looking" as he paused trying to find the right words and responded back "well"
Serena looked to him as she held back the giggle knowing what he was truly holding back in saying that she was not the frills and obedient duchess, who kept her all thoughts to herself that he was expecting to find as she smiled telling him happily "yes thank you I am actually feeling more myself"
Viscount Bradford looked to her seeing the traces of the outspoken girl he had seen in Pennsworth study as he nervously nodded his head, unsure if this was the same girl that Pennsworth had told him about that was filled with refinement as he cleared his throat and began telling her "yes well I was hoping that perhaps you would grace me with…" but did not get a chance to finish his comment when her attention was drawn elsewhere as they heard a loud commotion coming from outside on the terrace.
Serena's interest became perked at what could possibly be an interesting break from the mundane droll of the conversation that awaited her with the viscount as she looked to the man in front of her with a simple curtsy replying "if you will please excuse me for a moment" and then without waiting for his reply she quickly made her way over towards the terrace where a crowd of people began to gather.
She was unable to see what was going on with the amount of people standing in front of her, but heard what sounded like a loud slam followed by another, but what was more concerning was the forceful grunts and groans she heard of men out of breath.
She managed her way through the large crowd curious to see what would bring everyone's attention away from themselves and out here to the terrace as she stopped frozen in place and saw what they were all starring at. Darien kneeling on the ground while slamming his fist into another man's face.
She shook her head not believing the sight that was going on in front of her, while silently questioning how this night could possibly get any worse, but of course it found away to as she saw the traces of blood coming from the other mans face, from mostly likely a broken nose and who knows what else as she looked around at the crowd watching, but no one seemed surprised or taken back by the scene in front of them as she heard one of their comments stating "well he hasn't changed a bit has he?"
She shook her head hearing what they all knew and expected from him, while knowing this was partially her own fault for allowing this to go on for so long, and letting him think that she still belonged to him and had no doubt that he was probably showing his possessive jealousy over a guest, who simply wanted a chance to dance with her as she yelled out loudly "stop this right now"
She could see for herself the surprised look Darien had when he lifted his head up and turned to face her, but her attention was not directed towards him any longer, but down to the man on the ground who was struggling to get back up on his feet.
She shook her head knowing it was wrong and dangerous to bring him back into this world, after finally seeing the truth for herself that she had fooled herself into believing for so long, as much as she wanted to believe he was a changed man, deep inside he was still the same controlling and possessive man he always was as she shook her head feeling embarrassed by all the heavy stares while Darien looked to her with his eyes pleading stating apologetically "Serena let me explain"
She could feel every eye focused on her watching to see how the duchess would handle this situation with a known degenerate while Darien took a step closer to her reaching out for her hand to explain.
She took a step back expecting that he would explain everything away as he always does seeing her as his possession and nothing further, expecting she would just let this embarrassing scene end here as she shook her head feeling the fury within knowing it would end here once and for all as she stepped forward and gave his shoulder a slight shove back and took a strong regal stance while telling him forcefully "no you will listen to me, you cannot keep doing this Darien, you cannot beat up every man who looks at me a certain way it's over between us. I'm not yours anymore. I am letting you go now leave and don't come back" as she took a step back towards the crowd that parted ways for her as she wiped the remaining tears from her eyes at the closure of what was to be there ending.
She walked her way through the open crowd, hearing all of her guests whispering about what would soon be tomorrows gossip, while others addressed her by one formal name given to her "duchess" she walked forward trying to ignore all of there comments, needing this disaster of an evening to finally come to an end as she wiped the last few tears away from her eyes as she heard his voice calling out from behind her desperately "Serena wait"
She took the few steps needed to walk away and could see the exit door to her salvation not far off while the boring viscount stood nearby, blocking her exit as she heard Darien's voice calling out to her again from behind "Serena don't go, you must hear me out"
She stopped in place and let out the breath she held knowing nothing he could say would change anything and she should just keep walking forward, but deep inside knew she would never be able to really find closure and move on past him without cutting the final tie between them.
She took a deep breath in and turned around to face him as she wiped the last remaining tears from her eyes, ready to put everything that he once meant to her, behind her once and for all and start the next chapter of her life without him in it as she shook her head and walked forward until she was standing right in front of him stating in a calmness she did not feel "Darien don't, there is nothing that you could possibly say that will make your behavior this evening acceptable, you should not have come here tonight, you and I have taken different paths and it would be best, that you leave and do not come back"
Darien looked to her hearing her words, but knew they were only said in anger that she was meant to be with him and would not take a single step away without her knowing the truth and letting him explain his actions as he shook his head telling her "Serena, if you would just stop and wait one second and let me say what I came here tonight to talk to you about"
She looked back at him as she laughed, expecting the last thing he actually had any intentions of doing by showing up here tonight was to talk telling him back "talk now that is rich coming from you, because that is the one thing you do not do. You keep everything to yourself and do not let anyone in that cold exterior of yours" as she took a step back and wrapped her arms around herself feeling a sudden chill telling him firmly "and I can't continue to do this with you. I have to move on and find someone who, who isn't you. You need to let me go and you cannot keep beating up everyman that looks at me a certain way"
Darien could hear the pain in her voice with each word she spoke and knew this was not what she wanted at all as he tried to reach out to touch her arm to explain to tell her that he could be that man for her, but she just pushed his arm away as he looked to her begging "Serena let me explain"
Serena felt her heart breaking further with each word she spoke, but knew she had to make a clean cut or bleed on forever as she shook her head telling him with deep regret of what could have been "no, I have seen what I need to and not heard all that I deserve to hear from you, you should leave Lord Montgomery. I was mistaken you should not have come here this evening. Please leave at once"
Awson regained his footing as he stumbled up against a wall and watched the interaction between Darien and the new duchess and could see there was something more than what he had first expected between them as he quickly played the part of her hero and stood up to stand by Serena's side telling her apologetically "Duchess Pennsworth I apologize for the scene I have had to partake in this evening. I don't know what came over him. I was simply going to ask you to dance if I may and he started swinging his fists at me"
Serena turned and gave Darien an angry look to hear Awson tell it just as she expected it to be as she turned to Awson seeing his bruised up face and knew the reason it got that way telling him sincerely "my deepest apologies for the terrible experience you had, but come let us get you cleaned up and then yes I would be delighted to dance with you Mr."
Awson took her hand in his as he placed a small kiss on the back of it telling her "Wells - Awson Wells, duchess" Serena smiled seeing even with the cut lip and bleeding nose he was still acting that of a gentleman and not worrying about what anyone else thought of his appearance which she had to give the man his due that he was not like the others and took hold of his arm asking "shall we go head upstairs and get you cleaned up?"
Darien saw red as he watched Awson look to her with a gleam in his eyes and knew he had other expectations then just dancing and would try to make a move on Serena or what was worse that they would not make it back down to the dance floor as he quickly ran up to Serena and grabbed her by the shoulder ordering loudly "no you cannot go with him Serena"
Serena looked back at Darien angrily seeing even now with an injured man he was still trying to control all her actions as she removed his hand from her shoulder telling him quietly "I can do as I please. I am no longer your possession. I will find someone else who can feel and admit that they love me and not only for the passion that I bring to him" as she raised her head up high commenting "good evening to you Lord Montgomery"
Darien even with the coldness she showed to him refused to leave and let her make a mistake she would end up regretting by leaving a crowded area to be alone with Awson as he tried to convince her saying "but that is all he wants. He was like the man I once was, manipulative and cunning to a fault. Please you must trust me on this I know what I say because I was that man before you came along. Serena he only wants to use you like he does all women"
Serena stopped walking feeling unsure what to believe as she looked to Darien for any sign of falseness in his accusations and found none as she looked back to the man standing beside her with whom she really did not know anything about, but was about to lead him upstairs with a bloody nose and a bruised jaw and began to have a better understanding of why Darien's fist came in contact with the man's face as she looked to Awson questioning "is what he says true"
Awson stood proudly as he let out a deep chuckle and shook his head telling her back "of course not this is completely ridiculous, I simply was going to ask you for a dance duchess"
Serena dropped her hand down from Awsons's grip as she stood between the two men not sure who or what to believe anymore as Darien looked to her with those deep blue eyes that she found her answer in as he commented the most truthful answer she could possibly get from him "believe me Serena I know what he is capable of and I don't want, no I can't stand by and see you be hurt again"
Serena took a deep breath in knowing the only man who had hurt her this evening was the one standing right in front of her as she shook her head knowing there was a strong part of her that wanted to run back into his arms and hold on tight, but what she needed most was space from him when she heard Awson speak up from behind them stating "why that is a bit of a laugh is it not coming from you old friend, everyone here knows you are the man who is always looking for more and will completely ruin any girls reputations without a second thought, that crosses your path"
Serena looked between the two men seeing the angry looks between them knowing they obviously did know each other from another time and place, where she was not entirely certain, but felt like she had just gotten herself stuck in the middle of something that went far beyond a simple request for a dance.
Darien stepped forward in front of Serena knowing that Awson had a way of quickly turning the tables around on you when you least expected it and knew he had to protect her from this man at all costs as he commented sharply "leave it alone Awson"
Serena saw the protective stance Darien took in front of her, but the question she still asked herself was why? as she shook her head questioning "what is really going on here between you too" as she looked to Awson knowing he knew parts of Darien's past he never spoke to her about and turned her attention back to Darien asking "how do you know this man?"
Darien let out a long sigh seeing that she would at least let him explain somewhat further, which was a step in the right direction as he looked to Awson with a warning to keep his mouth shut and then back to Serena as he carefully explained "we were friends once, but that has since changed"
Serena nodded her head expecting as much by the bruises on both of the men's faces as she commented dryly "go on"
Darien looked around seeing all the people still in the ballroom starring there way, waiting with anticipation to see what would happen next and would have much preferred to take this conversation somewhere more private as he looked to Serena's stern face knowing she would not take a step further with him without a further explanation and began telling her "in those days of my youth that is where I began to develop my reputation"
Serena nodded her head not surprised by his admittance as she nodded her head stating "go on" Darien cleared his throat knowing of the more questionable things he had done so and was finally admitting towards as he continued on telling her "Serena I did somethings that I am not proud of, that I had done much of what Awson has accused me of doing and I hurt others without a single care, which you know of, but I am a changed man, although I cannot say the same for my old friend after the comments that he made about you this evening"
Serena could hear all the whispers going on behind her of what Darien had implied to that was going on between them and knew this night had definitely not gone as planned or that the name mystery Duchess would be used in the same context any longer as she looked towards Awson who stood there with a shake of his head listening to Darien's accusation, but had not denied a single word he had spoken of him and knew she had the truth.
Awson looked to the smug face of his old pal who always got everything he ever wanted, including the girls and decided to use this moment to get back at his so called friend for his bruised jaw and since his chances with the duchess were now completely destroyed anyway he through the one thing that seemed to get under Darien's collar most of all Serena to the jackals.
He stepped forward slowly and began to clap his hands together in a mock fashion and looked to Darien with a knowing grin telling him "wonderful story old man, well played you know I almost believed you myself all that apologetic nonsense that you are a changed man, but then again I don't think that is completely true now is it"
Darien looked to Awson expecting that he would come up with something to seek out his revenge somehow and shook his head telling him with a warning "let's take this elsewhere and keep whatever is going on between us, between us"
Awson let out a loud laugh having no intentions of leaving his audience wanting more as he hit where it would hurt the most stating smoothly "what's the matter Monty don't want others finding out what they already knew, that you have not changed at all have you, your still up to your old tricks why I saw you disappearing earlier this evening with the duchess to the gardens. Not so innocent anymore is she Darien, although it does seem you are awfully close with our new duchess, who does not seem to fit in as the others do perhaps there is more to her then meets the eye" as he looked to Serena with a little grin questioning "the mystery duchess where could she be from?"
Serena stood there speechless to hear the accusation being made in front of a room full of people no less as she shook her head and Darien stepped forward between them about to deny the allegations being made against her when another voice spoke up loud and clear from the crowd demanding "it's true that girl is an imposter and a whore"
Serena turned around to see a woman shoving her way through the crowd as she stopped right in front of her she was unsure who she was, but remembered seeing the woman's face before, but could not recall where as she pointed her way stating loudly "she is no duchess, she is nothing more than a concubine, this is all some scheme of hers I am certain to mislead the poor unsuspecting duke"
Serena stood still hearing the horrendous accusation being made about her as she shook her head wanting to deny every word of it as she turned hearing all of the whispers of rumors beginning to spread of the ladies accusation against her as she shook her head telling her calmly "that's untrue I am who I say"
Lady Canterbury crossed her arms over her chest as she let out a loud scoff smugly stating to her peers "hardly, I myself have had the displeasure of having to bear witness to such acts inappropriate acts between yourself and Lord Montgomery at the dining table no less"
Serena covered up her mouth in shock now recognizing where she knew this woman from and found herself rendered speechless as Lady Canterbury looked to her accusingly stating "if you are a duchess, then I am a jester neither which is true" as she walked up closer to Serena and shook her head as she ripped down the sleeve of her dress commenting smugly "how dare you come here and pretend to be something you are not, you filthy wench"
Serena stood there on the verge of tears, hearing the hateful comments that were being made about her while feeling every eye on her waiting for her to admit the truth that she knew all along that she did not belong in this world and was only an outsider pretending to be something she is not and now everyone else knew it also as she looked to Darien for some assistance, but saw he that he stood calmly with his arms crossed and did not deny anything that was being spoken about her, because it was all the truth.
She turned back to see the crowd of people who once formally bowed down to the new duchess of Pennsworth, now there admiration had quickly changed and they all turned there scrutinizing gazes on her, waiting for her to deny such harsh comments, but knew she couldn't because she was all that Lady Canterbury had said and more as she quickly fled back into the room through the awaiting crowd and away from the horrible truth that was the path of her life as she pushed her way through the crowd feeling completely used and mortified.
Awson stood there watching the scene unfold with a smug face not expecting that his comment would blow up to such a proportion as he laughed allowed at the antics his old friend has been up to as he looked to Darien with a grin stating "some party this is"
Darien stood stunned for a moment expecting Serena to rise up and claim her title proudly and deny the pompous allegations that were being made against her by this woman, but instead chose to run from them, which he had a promise to keep to her, to not see her be hurt again as he suddenly turned around and grabbed onto the Lady Canterbury's collar telling her strongly "you have no idea what you speak of, every word you just stated about her is false she is what she says she is and also ten times the woman you will ever be" as he turned around to face Awson with a warning stating "I will deal with you later"
He gave little thought to anything else and quickly followed Serena back into the ballroom, but there were too many people blocking his way to get to her, while they all called after her for answers and he was forced to only standby and watch seeing with each step she took her body was quivering with tears as she covered her ears crying out "leave me be" and knew somehow, someway he had to find away to get through to her and get her to see the real truth of who she is and all she is capable of.