So I've introduced a new character in this chapter...as you can tell, he's a bit of a foil to Haldir. I wanted Lara to eventually realize she needs to be grateful for the family that she has, so Eldrin is a way to contrast Haldir.
Ponytail Goddess: yes, the wound is a complex one. There's the pregnancy loss, then the loss of fertility, and all the feelings on sadness, shame, guilt, anger that go along with it. It's so much more complicated for Lara because she was the baby's mother and was already struggling in her marriage even before. I wanted this story to be a realistic path to healing and self discovery, so it won't be a straightforward time heals all sort of thing
Katia0203: thanks for your real-world insights! Yes, these things happen where in circumstances beyond one's control, people get very sick and quick decisions have to be made without them knowing. As for a miracle baby, I've definitely thought about it, you'll have to wait and see!
Earthdragon: thanks for the review! Lara wanted to try for a baby, was partly a misguided way of trying to move on by "fixing' the situation. She hasn't realized that to truly heal, she needs to confront her loss. You're right about Toby! I want to thank you for the reminder, I have neglected him a little. I'll make sure to give him his due going forward, please be patient!
I love all of your chapter-by-chapter commentary, thanks so much and please keep it coming!
The ellon was tall and handsome, Haldir could tell even from a distance. He had a dignified, confident bearing, despite having travelled for days on horseback. His riding clothes were the finest elven garments, fitting for his station and noble birth. He made no attempt to hide himself, knowing the border guards were watching and expecting him. Orophin, the sentry on duty, jumped from the treetop canopy, landing softly in front of the visitor. Behind him, appeared more troops led by their marchwarden.
"What business have you in the Golden woods?" Orophin asked.
"I am Eldrin, elven ambassador to Gondor. I come for state business, expected by the Lord and Lady of the Woods" the elf answered proudly. He did not flinch at the sudden appearance of the soldiers.
Haldir stepped in front of his brother. "Welcome, Lord Eldrin, we have been expecting you. Please allow us to accompany you into the city. I am Haldir, marchwarden of the Galadhrim" he said, with a bow. The diplomat acknowledged him with a nod. Then, Eldrin dismounted. He would walk the rest of the way into the city leading his horse behind him, it was a sign of respect for the Lord and Lady of the woods.
"I've forgotten how beautiful these woods are, I have not visited in many years. I am most glad that business has brought me back" Eldrin remarked.
"I understand you are accompanying the senior archivist to Gondor, to retrieve documents from their library for preservation at the Lorien Archives" Haldir acknowledged.
Eldrin was clearly surprised that the marchwarden knew the purpose of his trip. "Yes, it has been a long negotiation between our two states, but we have finally achieved it. This will preserve Gondor's knowledge and history for generations to come. I cannot take much credit, most of it goes to the archivist whom I will be accompanying to Gondor, Lady Lara."
"Lady Lara is very talented indeed" Haldir said, beaming with pride.
"Mmmhmm, I do admit, I am personally escorting her to Gondor because I am most eager to see her. It has been many years since our last encounter." It was Eldrin's turn to smile.
"You and Lady Lara are acquainted?" the marchwarden inquired. The other wardens were now listening intently, they did not like this Lord Eldrin's tone regarding their beloved marchwarden's wife.
"We were close as elflings. Her parents had a second home in Mirkwood, where there was extended family. They used to visit regularly. We were as thick as thieves, you might say. She was the smartest elleth, or elf for that matter, I had ever met. I always knew she would be successful at whatever path she chose. Corresponding with her so frequently in the last year has reminded me of those wonderful times when we were children. As men would say, she's the one who got away" Eldrin said casually. He was amongst his own people now, and not worried about having a slightly loose tongue.
"Lady Lara is married, with a child" Orophin spoke up, interjecting in the conversation.
"Yes, I'd heard she married some uneducated brute. Such a shame she bonded to someone who does not appreciate her talents…" Eldrin said wistfully.
Haldir stared down his soldiers, for more than one certainly had a murderous look. He was sure Lara had never mentioned the newly arrived ellon. Or perhaps she had mentioned him, once or twice? In passing?
Lara and Lady Elyna were waiting at the city gates, to receive the dignitary. She looked particularly ravishing, having put special effort in her appearance to receive an ambassador. She had worn one of the gowns her parents had gifted her before sailing west, made of the finest silk and silver trimmings. When she put it on that morning, she realized it was the first time she had ever worn it. A marchwarden's wife did not have many opportunities to wear such fine clothing, plus she did not like reminding Haldir of her family's wealth and title. Her husband had never objected to or asked her to hide it, but she had felt uncomfortable reminding him or his family of how different she was. Haldir's father had been a warden, and his brothers had followed him into the guard. Inaya's was also from a military family, her father and brothers having served. She never wanted any of her in laws to feel like she thought she was any better than they.
Lara's eyes widened as she saw the visitor approach, though she maintained her composure. Eldrin greeted Elyna first, bowing formally when she recited the formal words of elven welcome. When he approached Lara, he broke out in a warm, genuine smile.
"Lara, it's been too long" he said, opening his arms to invite her for an embrace, knowing she would give it, as it was the only way the two ever greeted each other. She did not disappoint as she launched into his arms. "Eldrin, I didn't know it was going to be you!" she was clearly delighted by the surprise. He lifted her off the ground and spun her around a full circle before letting her go.
"I wanted to surprise you. When I saw your correspondence, I knew we would meet soon. Hence, I deliberately signed all my letters with my title as ambassador, avoiding my given name" he explained, giving her a wink.
"Well you surely surprised me, I didn't suspect a thing!" Lara exclaimed. The way they spoke casually, touched each other with ease showed that the two were indeed very close friends. Orophin's eyes narrowed further at the ellon.
"When should I be ready for dinner?" Eldrin asked, while awaiting his bags to be removed from his horse's saddle.
"You are scheduled for an audience with the lord and lady this afternoon. You have some time to freshen up before then. Afterwards, Elyna and I will meet you at the archives for a working dinner. We will be reviewing the provisions of the treaty for the document handover and preservation one last time to make sure everything is in order. Tomorrow, is the celebratory feast the lord and lady are hosting to mark the cooperation between us and Gondor." Lara recited.
"Excellent, I look forward to it" Eldrin murmured, never taking his eyes off of Lara. She was just as beautiful as he remembered.
Elyna saw the chemistry between them, it was obvious to everyone present. "Well, it seems to me the two of you have it covered. I doubt I'll be needed at dinner this evening. Besides, I'm sure you have much to catch up on."
Lara continued smiling, though she was inwardly puzzled. Elyna took her work seriously, bowing out of a working dinner was unusual. It caused her little concern, as she was looking forward to catching up with her old friend.
As if suddenly remembering, Eldrin turned around and found Haldir. "Marchwarden, will you see that my horse is properly stabled?" His attitude did not win him any respect amongst the wardens present.
"Eldrin, you've met my husband, Haldir" when Lara noticed Haldir amongst the group of wardens who had accompanied the ambassador.
Eldrin did not let his shock show, he had not known he had been speaking to Lara's husband. The only sign of embarrassment was a slight flushing of the tip of his ears, unnoticed by Lara. Eldrin was lucky that years as a diplomat had trained him to keep his composure in the most uncomfortable settings.
"Of course, Haldir, thank you for walking me into the city" Eldrin said, bowing formally.
"Well met, ambassador" was the marchwarden's curt response.
That night, Haldir and Toberion had Sunday dinner at Rumil's without Lara. The elfling, as usual, shoved several bites of food in his mouth before declaring he was done and ran outside to join his friends. Lara would normally have insisted he finish at least half his plate before playing, but Haldir was too distracted on this day. When the adults were sure Toby was gone, the conversation turned to the most pressing issue at hand.
"How is Lara" Rumil asked.
"She is at her working dinner tonight with the ambassador, she mentioned it here last week I believe" Haldir said.
"I heard all about that Lord Eldrin, the nerve!" Rumil said, as if the name left a terrible taste in his mouth.
Haldir came home that afternoon to find Lara busily organizing papers in preparation for her dinnertime meeting with lord Eldrin. He stood silently for a moment, remarking on how he had possibly bonded to an elleth of her intelligence and beauty. He never tired of looking at her, desiring her, loving her. He would do whatever it took, he vowed, to keep their marriage together. He knew she was punishing herself, lashing out at others. She must be so angry and hurt. His wife was someone who did not like to show weakness, liked to keep it all together in front of others. With her miscarriage being public knowledge, Lara had been forced to bare her vulnerability publicly.
He came up behind her, kissing her gently on the cheeks. "You are beautiful" he murmured.
"Haldir, I'm busy. I'm meeting Eldrin in an hour" she brushed him off.
He was used to her shrugging off his affections now. "I've never heard you mention him before" he ventured, after he took a step back.
"We haven't seen each other since before I was married Hal. He's been busy running his family's affairs, I didn't even know he was ambassador" she said nonchalantly.
"You were close friends when you were young?" he asked.
"Yes, our families have been friendly for centuries. My parents and I used to summer in Mirkwood often, and we had many adventures together" she answered, a tone of nostalgia evident.
Now that Lara's papers had been removed from the table, an envelope appeared. "When are you going to send your RSVP to Inaya, for the blessing ceremony?" Haldir asked, seeing the invitation. Expectant mothers held blessing ceremonies, where family and friends gathered to celebrate the anticipated arrival of an elfling. The invitation had been sitting on the desk untouched for weeks.
"I've been busy" Lara mumbled, looking away.
"Lara, please can we talk about this. I don't want you to be torturing yourself, hiding away from your friends, from me" Haldir pleaded. He didn't want to push her or upset her, but he could not stand by and watch as his wife fight a losing battle with her grief.
Lara threw down her papers in anger. "I told you, I'm fine. I don't need to talk about anything."
"You are not fine. You are not well. I am your bond mate, you don't think I feel your pain and anguish? Let me in, Lara. Let me help you. This cannot go on" he insisted.
"Or what, you'll leave me for an elleth who can give you the daughter you want?" Lara said, she sure knew how to put up walls.
"What I want most of all is your happiness" Haldir said, shaking his head.
"Someone needs to punch him in that pretty face of his. I don't know why you didn't Hal, when he called you an uneducated brute" Orophin sneered.
The table looked at Haldir. "Things have been difficult for her. Anyone who makes Lara happy, I won't object."
"Brother, you have taken much anger from her. It is not right" Orophin continued.
"She is my wife Orophin, no matter what she does, I will love and cherish her. That is the vow I made when I bonded to her. For better or worse, for eternity" Haldir's voice rose. The marchwarden rarely showed any emotion, but tonight, he was letting go of some of his burden. "I cannot imagine, she carried that child for 8 months and to have it all ripped away. I was not there for her as I should have been. She won't forgive herself, especially now when she knows she can't have another child. So Orophin, anything that brings her joy, I will tolerate, even if it breaks my damn heart!"