Disclaimer: I do not own Zootopia or any related characters, that would be Disney. Rated M for violence, language, drug references and sex
The Unfluffables
Chapter Ten: Mr. and Mrs. Wilde
Zootopia Cathedral, two months later
After a couple of months of meticulous (albeit rushed) planning, Nick and Judy decided to get it done before the group of bad guys caused a delay. Nick stood nervously at the altar, only a few feet from where Mack's coffin was a year ago, dressed in a tuxedo he managed to rent from Dimitri. Standing behind him was Danny, Benji, Mike and Scott, all dressed similarly. He looked around the chamber, and saw a horde of bunnies on the side opposite to him, the Hopps family, probably all of them. On the other side was his mother, Chief Bogo (if didn't make much sense what he was doing there) and a few other guys from the ZPD. Dammit Carrots, thought Nick to himself, just show up already with the cutesy tail and all. He didn't have to wait long.
Judy entered the hall wearing a long, flowing white dress, carrying flowers, like a typical bride would, and was clearly staring right at Nick. Jesus, thought Nick, I'm actually doing this. Judy stood right in front of Nick, with Allie Ottman and a few of Judy's older sisters behind her. "You look kind of sweaty in that tux, Slick," said Judy playfully. "You look terrible yourself fluff," teased Nick back.
As the priest began talking, with both Nick and Judy bored out of their minds, they simply stared at each other, in some cases, with malicious intent. I so can't wait to have his babies, thought Judy as she glanced at Nick's crotch, thinking he might've been sporting a boner. Oh yeah, thought Nick, wait till you see what I'm gonna do to you, dumb bunny. Nick loved seeing Judy in the dress, but he couldn't help but stare at her and imagine her wearing a little (or a lot) less.
"Ahem," said the elephant priest, "we got to your speaking part." "Right," said Judy awkwardly, "I was just, out of it for a moment." "More like in it, if you know what I mean," cracked Nick, with his buddies behind him bursting with laughter, knowing exactly what they were thinking at the moment. "Can we have some sense of order in here," asked the priest, "I thought you all were police officers?" "I've got cuffs to prove it," murmured Nick, "now where are we?"
"Nick," whispered Judy, "don't embarrass me in front of my family like that!" "But aren't you my family now," asked Nick. "Sly fox," said Judy. "Dumb Bunny," said Nick, "I'm gonna love you." "Aww," said Judy as she worked the puppy eyes, "don't you already?"
"Do you, Judith Laverne Hopps, promise to honor your husband, in sickness and health, through word deed and action until death do you part," asked the priest, not wanting to skip a beat on this ceremony. "I do," said Judy enthusiastically. "And you, Nicholas Piberius Wilde," he turned to Nick, "do you promise to honor your wife, in sickness and health, through word deed and action until death do you part?" "What's the rush," asked Nick jokingly. "I have a funeral at six, so we need to keep this moving," whispered the priest to Nick. "Oh, okay," answered Nick, who turned to Judy and loudly declared, "sure thing carrots!"
"What the fuck Nick," shouted Stu, not to keen on his son-in-law calling his daughter a slur in public. "Watch your mouth," taunted back Nick, "this is holy ground." "Nick," gripped Judy, "enough." "I can't agree more," said the priest, "by the power invested in me by God and the United Mammalian States, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride and get out of my sight!"
Nick and Judy Wilde slowly walked up to each other, nervous at the fact that they were expected to kiss so publicly. Then Judy said to her husband, "Come on Slick, you know you want to." So Nick grabbed Judy by the waist and gave her the kiss of her life. Then as they walked back down the aisle, Nick not too eager to catch up with Stu at the moment, Judy said to him, "Don't be mad, but I picked a certain song for our first dance tonight." "How bad can it be," asked Nick, sarcastically, "there's not that many songs that really piss me off." "Gonna find my baby gonna hold her tight gonna grab some afternoon delight," Judy sang to Nick. "You naughty little Bunny," said Nick as he picked Judy up and carried her out. (End Credits Song, Afternoon Delight by The Starlight Vocal Band)
Author's Note: I hoped you all enjoyed this installment. Of course, I had to end it with Nick and Judy finally tying the knot (because we all know those two deserve each other), but I made sure to keep some good old fashioned raunchy humor to make this scene fun. Nick and Judy Wilde will be back in The Hunt For Red Foxtober, as they tenter the world of espionage while attempting to take down the communist agent Nikolai Wildsky. Leave me your thoughts in the comments!