Hello, everyone! Happy 2021! Here's to hoping the Coronavirus will be resolved this year and everything will be back to normal. Anyway, this chapter starts the Plumpbelly Village arc. Read on to find out what happens. Also, thanks to Neo Gem Rose for the favorite!
Disclaimer: Paper Mario belongs to Nintendo and Intelligent Systems.
Chapter 9: A Hissy Situation
Somewhere in an unknown village
"And so, the first part of running a village is to understand the people's needs. This can be done in many ways. The first is-" A brown Bob-omb with spectacles was in the middle of his lecture when he sighed as a small red Bob-omb with a small stem-like fuse on top was snoozing. He shook his head. "Jerry, wake up." He kept snorting. "Jerry!"
Jerry whailed and ran around the room. "Ah! Where am I?! What am I doing here?!" He calmed down. "Oh! I remember what I was doing! I was sleeping!"
"Don't you even," Jerry's father growled. "As the next mayor, I have to prepare you with the necessary knowledge in order for you to lead the village when I'm gone. I expect your undivided attention. No exceptions."
"But, Dad-"
"No exceptions! You will listen! You will become the next mayor! I don't care about your other dreams right now! Preparing you for it is of most importance! Now sit down and listen to me!" Jerry huffed and sat down on the desk. Jerry's father huffed. "There. You are only causing yourself misery by extending today's lesson. You can have some free time when it's done, but you must realize the importance of this job. Everyone will be counting on you."
"Yeah, whatever," was his son's grumpy response as he slouched. His father was about to retort to him when his wife, a tan Bob-omb with a red ribbon in her bernette hair, arrived.
"Barry, he's back."
"You don't mean-"
"I do. I don't know what he wants now, but you best hurry on outside."
Barry sighed. "OK, Sherri. I'll be outside." She nodded and walked away. He glared at his son. "This conversation isn't over," he growled. He ran outside. Jerry sat to himself in silence.
Outside, many villagers were gathered in a crowd as they exchanged worried glances with one another. "Where is he?" Barry asked, scanning the horizon.
"There!" A villager pointed to a small figure in the distance. It slithered along the ground, its tail wiggling behind. It jumped. The crowd dispersed as it landed on the ground in the middle. It turned to Barry, its yellow eyes gleaming with anticipation as a grin emerged on its face. It had black skin with yellow stripes on its back and underbelly. Its head was wider than its body. It was a scary-looking King Cobra snake that gave the bob-omb chills with just one glance.
"So," he hissed in a low, hissy voice, "Ready for another meeting, my lovely lackeys?"
"And so, the statue starts firing its laser at the rocks and we manage to escape its impact in time. Then, you know what this dumbo decides to do? He decides to throw me at the statue." On the boat, Blooey was telling Hershel of the events that unfolded in the volcano. He gave the blooper a shocked look. "Yes. He decides to legit throw me at the statue! Guess what? He trips and falls, but he throws me, anyway. Guess what? He misses! I dunk in the lava! The next thing I know, my tentacles are kicking like never before! I felt so hot! Any more seconds and I would've been burned to ash! It was a miracle! I was so lucky!" He glared at Luigi. "Do you know what you could've done? You could've killed me. You hear me? You nearly killed me!" The plumber was silent.
"Well, that took a dark turn real quick," Hershel said. He glanced at Luigi. "You OK, sonny?" Luigi was silent.
Blooey huffed. "Serves him right. He nearly killed me."
"Blooey, give us a moment." The blooper shrugged and walked upstairs.
"Idiot," he hissed.
"Get out!" The blooper took off. Hershel snorted. "That blooper doesn't give a darn tootin' 'bout other people's feelins'." He glanced at Luigi. "You OK? You'd be quiet."
"He's right," was all that Luigi said. "I took a risk and it nearly killed him. He's-a right to be angry."
"Hey. It'd be aight, sonny. He'll be OK."
"Will he, though? He said that he was going to get back at me for it." He sighed. "I didn't even think to save him. Plus, all I did was panic. Am I really worthy of this trip?" Hershel sighed. He had faith in the boy. He convinced the sailor to revisit his family and make amends. Why didn't he bolster that kind of confidence now?
"Sonny, do you have extreme anxiety?" Luigi glanced at him in surprise. "You don't hafta answer me. I'd figure you'd have that since you've been on a bit horrifyin' experience in the volcano."
The plumber sighed. "I do. I get scared very easily. I have panic attacks a lot. It's something I struggle with everyday. I often look down on myself and question my motives. When something happens on the spot, I don't know how to react. I panic. I don't know how to control it." Hershel nodded. Luigi was a person who was so fragile. He could easily break like glass. "I thought I made the right move, but I just was a bit off."
"And that's all that it was," Hershel said. "A bit off. It didn't kill him."
"But it almost did. What if he did die? What if-"
"Sonny, stop." He sighed. "Look, you're just a person who makes mistakes and scolds himself when things go wrong. It was a miracle that Blooey survived. You need to remember the positives, yes? He survived. He probably won't kill you because he needs you and you need him. Remember that. Channel your thoughts into something else. Remember Princess Éclair. You're doing it for her."
Luigi gasped. He was doing it for her! That was why he was here. He just wanted to prove to everyone what he was truly capable of. "You're right!"
The sailor chuckled. "Course I am! Remember that, sonny. That be one way to calm your anxiety. Now, I'll talk to Blooey. You get some rest, ya hear?"
He nodded. "You too, skipper," he said with a salute. Hershel chuckled before heading upstairs. Luigi closed his eyes and went to sleep.
The next morning
The morning arrived swiftly as he got into a fresh pair of clothes and went upstairs where Blooey and Hershel were waiting for him. "Finally, he wakes," Blooey said with a tone of annoyance. "We're here." Luigi glanced at the strudels that surrounded the outside of the island.
"Well, you two," Hershel said, "Hope you have fun stormin' the island!"
"Think we'll both make it?" Luigi sarcastically asked.
"Not a chance! Have fun, younguns!" Luigi chuckled and jumped off the boat. Blooey followed behind.
"So, where do we start?"
"How about you get your feet moving? Then you can do your lousy talking. Do some multitasking for once to not stall time." The blooper started walking. Luigi shrugged and walked behind him.
Minutes later, with the compass in hand, Luigi glanced at the blooper as he gazed around in intense concentration. "Are bloopers common in the Waffle Kingdom?" he asked.
He shrugged. "I've seen very few bloopers live on these islands, but you can never tell whether they're natives or just passing through. And believe me when I say I've asked every blooper I stumbled upon."
"And no luck?"
"Pretty much the answer you'd expect. Makes me wish I could split myself into clones. Would make things less of a pain." They walked in silence as one question lingered in the back of the plumber's mind. He could easily tell the blooper was still mad at him for what he did.
"How can I make things up to you?"
"Oh, you don't have to do anything," he said while gazing at the ground for footprints. "Don't worry. I will get back at you for what you did to me. You will feel my pain, then we can call things even. For now, keep an eye on that compass of yours while I look for signs of my parents." They eventually wandered into a town where merchants were lined up selling various items. Blooey went to a random seller. "Hey, have you seen any bloopers around here?"
"What for?"
"Just answer my question."
The seller shrugged. "Got no idea, but maybe check out Plumpbelly Village. It's east of here. Many people visit that place." Blooey and Luigi glanced at each other. They walked out of the town.
"Well," Luigi said. "It's worth a shot. Come on. The compass at least shows cardinal directions." They ran in the compass's direction. A couple minutes later, the ground shook beneath their feet. Luigi ran behind Blooey. "Ah! It's an earthquake!"
"Dumbo, look!" In the distance was a huge snake charging at huge speeds along the ground. "It's just a snake. It's humongous, though."
The compass briefly flashed in Luigi's hands. "The compass glowed! That snake must have the piece! Let's go after it!" He took off after the charging snake.
Blooey shook his head. "Dumbo, don't go running into danger!" They followed the snake for a couple minutes as it entered a small village where a group of Bob-ombs stood outside. The duo hid behind a couple bushes.
Luigi nodded. The compass glowed the brightest. "That snake has the piece! Let's get it and get out of here!"
Blooey grabbed him. "Clearly, you must be insane. We rush in there, chaos ensues! That snake is humongous! We don't stand a chance! Let's just wait for the right moment to strike. Remember what happened in Rumblebump Village?" Luigi sighed. He was right. He didn't want to endanger these people. He had to wait. "Let's see what this is about."
The snake grinned at a brown Bob-omb with a smile. "Ready for another meeting, my lovely lackeys?"
"We're not your lackeys," the Bob-omb hissed.
The snake laughed. "Oh, pish posh! You guys totally are! We're friends! Besties! Wouldn't you agree?"
"Get to your point. What do you want from us now, Hizza?"
"What do I want? I don't know." The snake contemplated to himself. "Let's see. I want more entertainment! That's it! You guys are so boring. I want to spice things up a bit." He slithered along the ground, glancing among the crowd. "Let's see. Who shall I want?" He laid eyes on a small red bob-omb hiding behind the brown one. He shoved him aside. "And who might you be, hmm?"
The brown Bob-omb stood up. "Don't you dare lay a finger on my daughter!"
"This is your daughter?" Hizza asked. He chuckled. "Well, this is my lucky day. Tell me, little girl. What's your name?"
"M-Mary," she stuttered, backing away from the snake.
"Mary, is it? I know just the thing I shall do. How about being my sacrifice?" Mary whimpered. "Scared, aren't you? Well, don't worry. The pain will be quick. It's just one small and quick bite. Sounds good?"
"Leave her alone," Mary's father hissed.
Hizza shook his head. "Do you remember our deal, Barry? You give me what I want and in return, I grant you freedom, the will to live your lives without my interference. Does that ring a bell?"
"That doesn't matter. My daughter isn't becoming a sacrifice to you. She stays with me."
Hizza growled. He inched close to Barry. "You'd rather break our deal?" he hissed. "You'd rather bite the hand that feeds you? You're putting all your people in danger. You'd rather I make my meal out of all of you?!"
"You just wanna become a false god," Barry hissed back. "You want us to worship you. We give you food and shelter. I even sent some of my people to take care of you and you're still not satisfied? When will you?"
"When I say so. You are my minions who will do as I say. I want Mary to be my nuptial sacrifice dedicated to me. Don't like it? Then consider your lives forfeited. What shall it be? Her life, or yours?" Barry was silent. He wasn't willing to let his daughter go so easily. To think his village would serve a person who's nothing but an abuser pretending to be a false god was a thought that sickened him.
"I'd rather die than worship you. Leave now!"
Hizza chuckled. "Very well. I shall make sacrifices out of all of you!" Luigi's heart pumped. He couldn't stand there and watch innocent lives be killed by a wretched being. What should he do? Distract it? Charge in and ram it? He didn't care. He needed to save them here and now. He yelled and charged at Hizza as the snake reared back with his fangs ready to kill the Bob-omb mayor.
"Dumbo!" Blooey yelled.
He kicked him back, sending him flying into a wall, causing Jerry who was inside to jump in fright. Hizza stood up and glared at the plumber as he entered a fighting stance. Many of the villagers were surprised by his appearance. "What the?!" He growled at the sight of Luigi. "Who the heck are you?"
"That doesn't matter," he said. "I'm-a gonna make you stop torturing these people."
Hizza snorted. "Torture? You think I'm torturing them? Quite the contrary, actually. I'm giving them their freedom in exchange for what I ask of them. Seems pretty simple. These muskrats want to ignore my request. Quite the pickle they're in. They don't do what I say, I kill them. That's the contract and Barry here went against that, so in turn, I have the right to forfeit their lives. I don't recall seeing a strange green man like you in it. Stay out of my way or else you will die along with them."
"I'm-a not going anywhere. Besides, there's something I want from you."
"What could you possibly need from-"
"Give me the Marvelous Compass piece now!"
"You talking about this?" Hizza took off the piece with his tail. "What could you possibly want with this?"
"That's none of your business," Luigi hissed. "Just give it to me and leave these people alone." Barry was impressed by his tenacity. No one has directly confronted Hizza before.
"I think not," the snake said after a few moments of thought. "You see? I like to play the game 'Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers'. You want it? Too bad. It's mine, like how the classic saying goes: 'What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine.'"
"So that's how you view these people? As property?"
"They owe everything to me! They shall weep before me and I shall be worshipped before them! That's how things should be! I demand a sacrifice be made in my name! You cannot change their fate, boy! Such matters do not concern you! Stay out of the way!" He was about to approach Mary when Luigi threw a rock at him. He growled. "It's clear you wanna die. So be it! You shall be my first sacrifice!" He lunged at the plumber as he ran around, trying to get on his back. He jumped back as Hizza kept snapping his fangs at him, trying to bite him. "Stand still, you nuisance!" He tried a different strategy. He whacked his tail on the ground, sending rocks in the air as he whacked them at him. Luigi ran at the snake, sliding under them as they nearly grazed his face, and made a huge jump while yelling. He landed on the snake's neck and started to choke him while trying to grab the compass piece at the same time. Hizza began to wheeze and slither along the ground, shaking his head ferociously as he tried to shake the plumber off. They rammed into a couple buildings, knocking them off their structures.
As they were fighting, Jerry walked out and gasped at the fight. He walked behind the house and ran into Blooey as he stood and watched. He turned around. "Hey. Mind watching where you're going? You can obviously see me."
"Right." He glanced at Luigi as he struggled. "He needs help! I've got to help him!"
"Don't you even," Blooey hissed. "You'll die if you charge in there."
"Then throw me at him."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard what I said."
"What are you trying to prove?"
"Nothing! I wanna save him from a possible death!"
Blooey snorted. "I don't know. You're not going to get him killed, are you?"
"I swear," the Bob-omb said. "I'd cross my heart if I had arms. Let me save him." Blooey sighed. He seemed so immature, willing to save someone without knowing the dangers. He glanced at Jerry. Something told the blooper he had something to prove, other than to save him. "No. I'm gonna go in and save him myself. You stay here."
"Please!" Blooey stopped. "I wanna prove to my father what I'm capable of! Will you give me that chance?"
He sighed. He was never gonna stop pestering him. "Fine. You want me to lob you at the giant snake?" He nodded. "OK. This plan better work for your sake."
Hizza threw Luigi off as he screamed. He rolled on the ground, losing his grip on the compass piece as it rolled away. Hizza stopped it with his tail. He placed it back on his head and gripped Luigi by the neck. He wheezed as he dangled from his tail. The snake shook his head. "Such a pickle you're in. I must admit that you did put up quite the fight. It was all for naught, though. Now, you will die. Hope you've had fun playing your last few moments as hero. Time to die!" A Tarzan-like yell entered the atmosphere, causing everyone to look around. "What the?" Jerry flew through the air, his fuse burning as he blew in the snake's face, sending him and Luigi in the air. They landed on the ground, the impact knocking the plumber unconscious. Many bob-ombs gasped.
Jerry jumped in the air. "Woohoo! Jerry saves the day!"
"You idiot!" Hizza tried to sit up, but the burns on his body caused him to scream. He glared at him. "You haven't even won anything. I want the sacrifice to be at my doorstep by sundown, or else everyone will become my sacrifice! That's final!" He slithered away at a slow pace.
Jerry looked confused. He did the right thing, yes? Why didn't that stop Hizza? "Jerry!" Barry marched to him, a snarl emerging on his face.
"Father, I-"
"Shut up!" He got close to his son. "You really know how to push my buttons, do you? You never learn anything! The heck was that?! Did you not think?!"
"Father, he was gonna die! I had to-"
"Save him? Look at what you did to him!" He pointed his head at the unconscious plumber who was being carried in the house by a couple Bob-ombs. "You knocked him unconscious. You nearly killed him! How much of an idiot can you be?!"
Jerry's heart raced. "Father, I'm sorry!"
He shook his head. "Every single time. This happens every single time! You put everyone in grave danger, and that's one of the things I've been-" He stopped as a cough overtook him for a few minutes. He continued. "I've been trying to grind that in your head, and you still don't get it! Do you even realize what you've done? Because of your hasty actions, we now have no choice but to either send up Mary as our sacrifice or we all die! I'm getting old! How can I expect my son to lead this village when he's been nothing but a selfish, little prick?!"
Jerry started to back away. He thought he was doing the right thing. He was trying to save Luigi. Why couldn't Barry see that? His feet shook. His father became nothing but a scary monster to him. He had to get away. He started to run away, hyperventilating as he couldn't catch his breath. The tears flew out all at once as he ran away.
"Get back here!" Barry snarled. "This conversation isn't over!"
"Barry!" Sherri hissed. "That's enough!"
"No! I-" He coughed some more. "I have to teach him a lesson! He-"
"You've done enough damage already. Get inside now." She shoved her husband inside the house. Barry snorted. He had lost all faith in his son.
Jerry cried as he ran through the fields. His heart has never felt so broken. He tried his best. Even then, Barry couldn't see that. The bob-omb stopped. Fine. He was gonna make his dream come true on his own. He ran down the road. He didn't care about his father or anyone. He was gonna see the world by himself, and if his father didn't care about him, then fine. All the more reason to get away from the monster once and for all.
You all probably have some questions. Why is Barry so mean? Why is he forcing his son to become the next mayor? All this and more will be answered as we dive deep into Jerry and his father's relationship and much more. See you next time!