AN: Now that it's getting darker and darker in the northern hemisphere I feel like reading more. Not sure if you feel the same, but here's a new chapter anyway.

oooOOooo

Talking Romance

When Lily came home, it was much earlier than she had anticipated, and she was much more frustrated.

Severus looked up from his book and threw her a questioning gaze when she came into the nursery where Harry was sleeping in his bed. "What went wrong?"

Lily turned from where she had checked on her little boy – not that she didn't trust Severus but she simply needed to assure herself that he was fine – and sat down on the green, shag rug she had added to enhance the meadow look the floor held, turning to her friend. "Remus wasn't alone. So while he accepted the offer of a portkey, I also had to handle Alice and her attempts to understand why I have left the Order."

"Let me guess, she wasn't impressed with your explanation?" Severus closed his book and gave all of his attention to her. He was a good listener.

"Yes. She seems to agree that Albus Dumbledore, and now Moody, are the only two people around who can judge the morality of any action." Lily once again was exasperated over that blind faith and unwillingness to think for themselves that was prevalent in the Order.

"But she isn't part of the faction that deems it acceptable to attack a bakery?" Severus always avoided the word terrorism and others of that sort when they were talking about the switch in the Order's modus operandi. He knew that he would be hypocritical if he condemned the Order for using methods the Death Eaters had used before.

"She seemed shook up about it. Yes. And worried about Neville's safety. Can't say I blame her. Andromeda Tonks' child was there that day at the bakery. How easily could other children get into dangerous situations? Now that Tom has dialled back on the overt violence," Severus flinched, and Lily gave him an unimpressed look, but refrained from commenting, "there should be less risk. But with the Order stepping right into that place, all bets are off again."

"What did she want?" Severus seemed honestly interested.

"I'm not really sure." Lily shrugged, settling into a more comfortable position with her legs crossed. "She probably wanted to ask for help, but didn't seemed sure for what, exactly. I guess on how to hide, or to decide whether she even should. But she distracted herself with the question of why I went into hiding."

Severus looked over to the bed and the sleeping Harry and then back at Lily. "She doesn't understand that you do fear for your son's safety as well? I know you can't reveal every aspect of why he's in danger, but it should be enough that your home was attacked directly. That's not something that happened all that often."

Severus was right, even as she really didn't appreciate being reminded of that darker side to Tom.

She decided to switch topics. "At least Remus has made his decision. I'll have to ask Tom for a portkey. And pick a place to send Remus to."

"He didn't have a destination in mind?" Severus seemed surprised and interested despite himself.

Lily shook her head.

"Maybe somewhere around the Mediterranean sea. The warmer weather would be good for him."

Lily nodded slowly. She had known that warm, or mild weather – compared to the weather here – was good for people who were werewolves. It helped them cope with the pains that often developed in their joints. Ever since she had read James' letter and subsequently had looked into the Potter assets to take care of them for Harry until he was old enough, she had worried what to do with all the houses and land the Potters had bought all over Europe. There were elves taking care of those properties, but she felt that wasn't enough. And currently she wasn't able to spare the time to go look at those herself.

"I think there might be a small vineyard on the French south cost. And a house with lots of olive trees in Greece. Maybe I can send Remus to take care of those properties." She tapped one of her fingers against her leg, thinking. "Yeah, I think that might work rather well. He would be out of Britain, would have something to do, as well as having access to warded stretches of land to use during the full moon. And it wouldn't be charity." She had learned that those who needed the most help often weren't all too happy to accept help from the people able to give it. Especially if it had any measurable monetary value.

"That's sorted then," Severus concluded, startling Lily into a laugh which she quickly smothered.

"You're the worst." She gave him a playful glare and only got the smallest of smirks in response. Time for a little revenge. "Have you managed to ask Regulus out for a date yet?"

Severus spluttered and blushed, giving her a reproachful look. "You know that it isn't that easy."

"Why not?" Lily whined, more to annoy her friend than because she really did not know why Severus felt it was a complicated situation.

"Because I'm a half-blood wizard brought up in a poor muggle neighbourhood." And there he was again, her moody friend who was all too willing to think badly about himself.

"And also related to the Prince family, which is a small but very old family. On top of that you're a Potions Master, and one of the youngest as well. A good duellist and inventor of your own spells. Don't sell yourself short!"

"Do you really think that his parents, or the Head of the Black family, will be willing to overlook my deficiencies because of a title and a distant and ignored family connection?" Severus scowled down at his folded hands.

"You're also a loyal and trusted follower of the man that the Black family has sworn to support." She didn't comment on Sirius, as he obviously didn't fit in with that description, but her former friend didn't count anyway. "And you're talking as if you want to marry Regulus. I thought it was only about a date. You don't even know yet if the two of you are compatible!"

Severus' blush got even deeper and Lily laughed again, quickly bringing it down to a giggle. "You want to marry him!" At her friend's red face and insecure eyes, she stopped laughing. This was much more serious than she had thought and no laughing matter. "Do you know if Regulus is interested in men? Generally? If he's not, the whole idea is moot anyway."

Severus nodded. "One of the few things Regulus shares with his older brother is that his interest in partners isn't exclusively focused on women." Severus snorted. "When he realized, the whole Slytherin common room was treated to him ranting for several hours. Which is pretty unusual, if you were wondering. A Slytherin usually doesn't tend to give away such private information that willingly."

"And to that many people as well." Lily could see how that wasn't something a teenager would do easily. She was sure that was pretty universal between all four Houses. Maybe with a few exceptions. Sirius had flaunted his preferences and exploits. She suspected it had been to anger his family. He had done a lot to rebel against his parents and their values.

"But yes, that is not a problem. All the other things are."

"Can I help?" She would like to see Severus happy. It didn't happen quite as often as she thought it should.

"What do you want to do? Use your relationship with the Dark Lord to get me into the Blacks' good graces?" Severus gave her a sardonic look, before he snorted at her look of conflict.

"I don't even know what relationship we have, other than being the parents of our child."

"Don't tell me I have imagined the sexual tension between the two of you," Severus half-asked, half-stated. "I had assumed you two… had already progressed into something… more intimate." He didn't seem happy with his choice of words but didn't try to find others now.

While Severus returned to his pale complexion, it was Lily's turn to blush. Confronted with the tension she had been trying to ignore, all those conflicting feelings were at the front of her mind once again.

She played with the hem of her jeans, trying to sort out what she wanted to say to that. "It's not that easy." Severus snorted, and Lily looked up to glare at him. "It really isn't. At least Regulus hasn't killed someone close to you. Or has he?"

"No, you're right. But are you attracted to him?"

"Yes. But I also know who he is, and what he's done." There was no need to elaborate. Severus knew as well as she did.

"May I point out that you do trust him with your son? And that he is a shockingly good father?" Lily wasn't sure if she should be happy or unhappy over Severus' trying to be helpful. "I know. I don't claim that my feelings and thoughts are all that rational." She took a deep breath and looked down at her hands again. "I can't deny that my hormones and body like him very much. That's not enough, though." It really wasn't, not for a longer, meaningful, relationship. "It's a point in his favour that he is making an effort to be a good father. The fact that he has switched to… less violent ways to overthrow the established government is also good. But still, he did kill without remorse. My husband was among his victims."

Severus ignored her lack of comment on so-called dark magic, and carefully addressed some of her other concerns. "He hasn't killed an innocent in cold blood, as far as I'm aware. James Potter was a willing participant as a combatant in this conflict. And he was very much not an innocent. You did mention those fertility potions."

"Yes. James really wasn't the considerate man he presented himself as while trying to get me to marry him. He was charming, but surprisingly good at hiding his flaws." She still couldn't quite believe that she had been fooled by the biggest git in her year in Gryffindor.

"Being a teenager can blind us to a lot." Severus stated, which was true enough. "You're not blind in this. Only overthinking everything."

"And you're doing the same. Just ask Regulus out for a date already. Go to some of those parties so you can dance with him, and socialise a little. Aren't those about making connections?"

"Don't deflect, Lily. Your situation is more complicated." She pumped her fist in mock victory. "Yes, I do admit it. My situation is significantly less complicated. And you do need to think about it. Ignoring the situation isn't doing you any good."

She sighed. "I know. But despite the pro arguments weighing more than the contra arguments, one problem remains. No, two problems remain. I don't know if he's interested, and I don't want to risk the stability we have reached if it should go wrong. Harry is much better off with both his parents in his life."

Severus got out of the chair, and settled on the floor cross-legged, just as Lily was sitting. "He absolutely can be attracted to you. There's no guessing about that. Is he willing to get involved in a long-term relationship? I have no idea. I don't even know if I want to speculate. The fact that you are living here, that he obviously wants to be part of his son's life… If you ask my opinion, I would say that he's not opposed to the idea on principle."

"And the risk?" Lily asked in a small voice.

"Who's the Gryffindor here?" Severus teased, breaking the tension a little. "You claim that what you have now is stable. But how long will it stay that way? If you find someone else, because don't try to tell me that you'll be able to live like a nun, that will throw everything off anyway. How would you react should he find someone else and you'd never tried? And isn't the possible gain worth the risk?"

"I'll have to think on that. But you have to find a way to spend more time with Regulus." Her demand was weak, but just as Severus seemed to wish for her to stop dithering, she couldn't bear her friend's mooning from afar any longer.

"I'll try. There will be another celebration around midsummer. Maybe I'll be able to dance with him then." Severus didn't look exactly thrilled, but he had a little more colour on his cheeks than usual.

"You won't try to get out of that celebration?" Lily asked, curious. Severus usually wasn't one for parties.

"Attendance is mandatory." Severus looked miserable enough that Lily had to grin, earning herself a glare. "It's a big family occasion. Everyone will be there, children included."

"And Tom makes everyone attend?" Lily was curious despite herself.

"Yes. It's not all that bad. No potential for a sexually charged atmosphere-induced assaults due to Bellatrix and her husband. Good food. Lots of dancing – which will provide me with an opportunity to dance with Regulus – singing as well." Her friend tilted his head to one side, thoughtful. "Plants harvested on that day are especially useful in healing potions. And while I don't know who will host the celebration this year, it's almost guaranteed to be at one of the bigger Manors. They tend to have extensive gardens." "Which tend to have gardens with herbs and plants useful for potions," Lily finished for him.

Neither of them mentioned the possibility of Lily and Harry attending as well, as they dived into a discussion about healing potions and how ingredients harvested or prepared at different times affected their properties.

oooOOooo

Narcissa carried little Draco out of the room after she had brought him so that he could wish his grandfather a good night. Tom watched her go, musing over possible future scenarios. His Harry and this little boy would go to Hogwarts at the same time. Would they be friends by then? Would they be rivals? Roommates because they were sorted into the same House?

"They do change a lot, don't they?" Abraxas asked, filling their glasses with red wine and handing one over to Tom, before settling down in his chair across from his friend in front of the white pieces on the chessboard.

"Children?" Tom asked, nodding slowly before taking a sip. "I guess they do."

Abraxas snorted. "They change everything. No guessing about it. I still remember the day Lucius was born and placed in my arms for the first time. He was so very tiny." There was a nostalgic smile on his old friend's face, and Tom didn't try to restrain his grin at the sappy atmosphere.

"How is everything at home?" Abraxas asked, sending one of his pawns forward, then leaning back to wait for Tom to answer and make his move.

"Good. We do have a routine. Harry and Nagini seem to like each other, and Lily doesn't freak out when my familiar is around our boy." Tom still wasn't sure how Lily could be so calm about having a snake big enough to eat the little boy be around her baby while also unable to communicate with the snake. Tom did know that Nagini had no intention to eat the hatchling, but he wasn't sure he would be as calm as Lily if he didn't know that. He made his own move, now waiting for Abraxas to continue the game.

"That certainly is an advantage," the blond wizard conceded. "But my question was aimed at your relationship with Lily, not your routine co-parenting your child."

Tom rolled his eyes, and let himself slump into his seat. "I'm not sure. There is attraction. Otherwise Harry wouldn't be here now. But there also are quite a few obstacles between us." A few more pieces were ordered to new positions, Abraxas patiently waiting for Tom to continue.

Sometimes the other was uncomfortably patient.

After another significant look from his friend, Tom rolled his eyes again, and snorted. "You're very persistent."

Abraxas gave a shrug, all high society masks lowered. "I do know you. And I do care about you. You haven't lived together with another person for so long since the end of school."

Tom nodded, that was true. "Yes. Living with Lily and Harry is different than living alone. Obviously. I don't feel cooped in or under pressure. I still feel safe in my own home, Abraxas."

They once again fell silent, sipping their wine, and moving the chess pieces about, watching as they viciously attacked each other.

Abraxas gave an exasperated sigh. "I hate to be a Gryffindor about this, or maybe a Hufflepuff, but as a good Slytherin, I am willing to use any means."

Tom's brow winged up and he smirked, curious what would follow that introduction.

"Do you want to enter a sexual relationship with the mother of your son? Or even a romantic one?"

Tom blinked slowly. He honestly didn't know.

"What I'm trying to do here is offer you an opportunity to talk about it without the risk of being exposed." Abraxas threw his hands into the air and slumped back into his armchair. "You're not that dense normally."

That earned Abraxas a stern glare. "I know perfectly well what you are trying to offer." And he did. But his own thoughts and feelings on that matter were not as easy to understand.

Maybe talking out loud actually would help sort his thoughts.

"I'm not entirely sure." Now Tom shrugged and leant back, the game between them forgotten. "We almost kissed a few weeks ago. I have dreamed about her, our one… close encounter, several times now." He hesitated a moment, pondering if he should mention the one change in his behaviour that was the most obvious and also the most confusing.

His friend was patiently waiting, moving his expensive crystal wine glass in small circles.

"In the past I would go out when I needed some company. Disguise myself, apparate somewhere and visit a muggle pub, or some other place where one can meet a woman. I would flirt, talk, have some fun. It's easy to find someone who also is in search of a single night without strings attached." It felt strange to talk about it after so many years. He looked up and met the grey eyes of his friend. "I haven't gone out like that since Lily moved in."

"Then you have to be very frustrated by now," Abraxas remarked, deadpan.

Tom snorted and shook his head. "I'm not a teenager any longer, and I do have two hands and magic at my disposal."

Abraxas inclined his head, accepting a point well made. "I suspect that your decision to not follow your usual routine is what has you confused?"

"Yes. I think it simply doesn't feel right to search out the company of strangers when…"

"The woman you really want to spend time with is already living with you and is the mother of your son?" Abraxas finished the sentence for Tom.

"I guess so." Talking really did help, regardless of how hard it was to do.

"Then court her! Why are you waiting?"

Tom was sure the stare he fixed on his friend was venomous. "I did kill her husband. The fact I'm the father of her child alienated her from her friends, forced her to flee. Not that long ago she was fighting against the political movement I'm the head of. Sure, there's no reason to fear what might happen if I tried."

"You're worried what will happen if an attempt at courting her should fail." It was a statement and not a question, so Tom didn't react, prompting Abraxas to sigh again. "You two will be caught in this weird state of not knowing for a very long time if you don't act on your desire to have a more intimate relationship with her."

Tom furrowed his bow. "Why? If she doesn't want the same as I, it would be useless. And if she does want the same, what's stopping her from taking the first step herself? She is pretty independent, and one of the reasons why she left the Order is the fact that they didn't take her seriously."

"You do know that traditionally it's the man's place to start a courtship by asking to be granted the permission to court. Preferably by approaching the father of the witch." Abraxas seemed very confused by Tom's suggestion to let Lily take the first step.

"And if you go further back, you'll discover traditions where young men would display different impressive feats to catch a woman's attention so she would select them. What I want to say is that it's not necessary that the older party starts the process, or the wizard, or whatever. It's a very narrow perspective you have on this topic, and I know it worked for you. But I do know Lily pretty well by now. She wouldn't be impressed if I would chose to go with the traditions of courtship you were alluding to."

"I have met her twice now. That was not across from battle lines flinging spells, at least." Abraxas rubbed his brow with one hand. "Trust you to know at least five different courting traditions used by magical communities all around the world through several hundreds of years."

"Now you're exaggerating. I haven't had that much reason to study that particular topic in that much depth. I only looked into traditions that once were adhered to on the British Islands. I didn't find much related to worshipping Magic in those traditions. Mostly it's just human interaction and rules to make the whole process predictable. I guess that would take out some of the anxiety." He felt offended when Abraxas snorted.

"I get it, you don't want to come across as a man disregarding a woman's right to define her own path and make independent decisions." Relieved to have it laid out that clearly, Tom nodded. That did align with his plan to let her set the pace on all their interactions as Harry's parents, and magical humans with different beliefs in regards to Magic. "As I'm sure you're keeping your occlumency shields up all the time, and don't even know if she is a Legilimens, you should signal your interest a little more often and a lot more plainly. Otherwise my statement about you two circling around each other as if walking on doxy eggs still stands."

"And how do you think I should do that?"

Abraxas started to make suggestion after suggestion, from Tom walking around topless to smiling more often, some making Tom give him incredulous looks or outright glaring.

The game of chess they had started the evening with was never finished, but the bottle of wine was.

oooOOooo

AN: I had a lot of fun writing those conversations. That should help them move forward already, the two of them are almost to careful about the whole relationship thing. And why do my characters keep doing their own thing without consulting with me?

First published 13th of December 2020

Thanks to Jordre and Jake for helping to improve my spelling!