Chapter 19: Stand tall.
The Doctor's pov:
The Doctor felt cold. Pulling his leather jacket closer around him he thought back on how the few weeks that had passed since the disastrous trip to Planktor 6. Since then, he had gone to bear witness to a variety of fixed points. Natural disasters, accidents, wars, you name it. He wasn't sure why he had decided on doing this.
Perhaps it was to remind himself of all the things that were out of his control. That he couldn't stop all the suffering and struggles in the universe. That everything dies. Everything ends. That or he was just punishing himself.
Punishing himself for destroying Gallifrey. And for failing her. That bumbling, forgetful, broken but oh, so brilliant Time Lady. That brilliant woman who did the best she could to piece him together in spite of how broken she was herself. Who'se eyes could switch from young and innocent to old and tired on the drop of a coin, but never lost the joy and wonder from seeing the world around her. Like in some way she was seeing it from the first time.
She who despite the fact he couldn't remember squat about her. Despite that she couldn't remember squat about anything. She who despite just… everything had become his best friend.
The Doctor did not have a single clue as to how that had happened. Something just sort of… clicked between the two of them. Like it was natural for the two of them to be thick as thieves. He didn't know what it was. Maybe an effect from whatever he had forgotten. Like he recognized her somewhere in the back of his subconscious.
And he had basically just stood and watched as his best friend fell apart.
He should have known she wasn't ready to visit a place inhabited with a larger amount of intelligent species. Should have known her mind could not handle the telepathic strain on top of everything else. He had mostly kept to uninhabited planets on their travels so far for that exact reason. That and that he himself had not felt ready in the slightest to be around anyone except her. And now she had gone right back into a healing coma.
The Doctor leaned back against the iceberg he was sitting on. Running a hand through his short-cropped hair, The Doctor once again wondered what was going to happen once the Time Lady (should he just keep calling her Mary to himself? Or were The Professor an option?) got her head on straight. Would she leave him once she was no longer broken? Would she still care about him? Would she look at him seeing him for monster the he was?
Growling in frustration The Doctor smacked the thoughts away. In the end that was her choice. Like he could do much about it by overthinking anyway.
Lifting his head, The Doctor looked up at the night sky. The family he had prevented from boarding flashed through his mind. The reminder lightened his dark mood a tad. He might not have been able to stop the sinking of the Titanic, but that did not mean he couldn't save anyone.
That was who he was wasn't it? Before the war. The Doctor. He frankly wasn't sure he deserved the title after what he'd done, but that was the thing. The Doctor was who he wanted to be. His old voice rang in his head.
"Never cruel or cowardly. Never give up. Never give in."
The Doctor stood up. His eyes that never left the stars gained a determined glint. He was not going to give up now. Yes, he acknowledged that he was a monster for what he had done. But that did not mean that a monster was all he could be. He refused. He would persevere. He would survive and most of all. He would keep trying to help.
No more hiding. No more feeling sorry for himself. He couldn't keep on dragging someone else underwater to keep himself from drowning.
With that new resolution in the forefront of his mind The Doctor looked around. Now then. How to get off this blasted iceberg.
…
"Well, blimey. Isn't this a fantastic way to kick things off?"
The Doctor thought sarcastically to himself as he shirtlessly stood chained to a high-tech operating table that were currently placed in an upright position.
"Come on now. I was just passing through, honest. Is this really necessary?"
The Doctor asked his pink skinned captors.
"Fascinating. The subject is fluent in our language despite clearly not being a member of the Quagris."
The lead scientist said scratching his chin with a four-fingered hand. His four black eyes drifting up and down his body before returning to his notes.
The Doctor's head fell back in defeat and he wondered why he even bothered. He should have known not to come to this planet before long after they had made first contact. The Quagris are and always will be some curious blighters that would not hesitate to cut something or someone up to satisfy they curiosity.
Gritting his teeth, The Doctor tried to think of a way to get out of this situation without getting dissected.
Authors note: So… cliffhanger. Btw. The title of the chapter is a nod to the song "Stand tall" from Julie and the Phantoms.